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From rivals to boyfriends: Barnes and Zemo on their Formula One rivalry
by Calvin Valdez
Few rivals have managed to maintain their friendships, and only Formula One stars James ‘Bucky’ Barnes and Helmut Zemo have managed to take it one step further by coming out as boyfriends in the midst of this season’s battle for the world championship title. At the moment, Barnes, Ferrari’s American representative, holds four world championship titles while Zemo, Mercedes’ German representative, holds two.
Tomorrow, the two will be racing for the final race this season in the Australian Grand Prix, with Barnes in Pole Position and Zemo right behind him on the grid. Zemo is currently leading with five more points than Barnes, but that can easily change if Barnes manages to place ahead of him in this race.
Today, we sit down with the two of them before their race and discuss their current relationship and how it has affected their careers in Formula One.
Q: It’s nice to meet you both. I wanted to start off with asking how you felt about the qualifying round today and how much you think it’ll affect your chances of winning or losing the race tomorrow?
Barnes: Since I’m starting ahead, I think I have a pretty good chance. Also, I am the current world champion after last season, so…
Zemo: [Laughs] It does lessen my chances, but not by much. Let us not forget that there is over an hour’s worth of chances for me to overtake James.
Barnes: Ha, ha, and there’s also an hour’s worth of chances for you to lag behind.
Q: People have been wondering how you keep a healthy relationship off track when you two get so competitive during races. What do you have to say about this?
Zemo: Most people are under the assumption that all we ever to is talk about Formula One. That is not the case at all. When we are home or in between races, we rarely discuss our work. On track, we put the race above our relationship, but off track, that is certainly not the case.
Barnes: Exactly. We’ll shout the worst things at and about each other during the race, but when we get home it’s all forgotten. If we took everything personally, this relationship would never work. So, you know, boundaries. Also, a lot of F1 rivals like Lauda and Hunt were great friends on and off track, and I think that can also be attributed to the fact that they respected each other, which is also the case with Zemo and I. We enjoy our rivalry more than we detest each other.
Q: So when one of you lose the race tomorrow, what will that be like when you get home?
Barnes: If one of us loses, we’ll probably sulk for a little bit, but like any race, you gotta accept it. If you let every loss get to you, that can really [censored] you up. Anyway, we both have championship titles, so it hurts less, but… yeah. We’re still proud of each other nonetheless.
Zemo: Only James sulks. I am perfectly composed even when I lose.
Barnes: [Laughs] Oh, shut up, you know that’s not true. But anyway, we can deal with it at the end of the day.
Q: Certain countries are not quite as accepting of LGBT+ people, and there were reported instances where you were both asked not to flaunt your relationship in those places. Was this true? How did you handle it?
Barnes: Ooh, yeah, that’s true. Not going to name any specific places, but you can probably take a guess. I mean, if they don’t want us kissing on the podium, we can hold off until we get out of there, you know? Sometimes you get a bit frustrated, but it is what it is.
Zemo: Because Formula One is an international sport, there are indeed instances where certain countries do not want us to be so public with our relationship. That is normally not a problem, as James and I are not often so physically affectionate in public anyway—
Barnes: Zemo’s not a big fan of PDA.
Zemo: —but there are times that you get frustrated, yes, but we must respect the country’s rules as well since we are not from there, and thus cannot do much.
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“Hey, Buck, you ready?” Steve, Bucky’s race engineer and best friend, walks towards him with his headphones hanging around his neck.
Bucky nods, taking his gloves from the table. He looks towards the pit lanes. “Is the Mercedes team complete?”
Steve raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t you leave the hotel with Zemo today?”
“Nah. I left first.” Bucky takes his helmet and balaclava but doesn’t put it on yet. He peeks out of the workstation and sees Zemo next door with the Mercedes team. They lock eyes and Zemo waves at him. Bucky smirks and leans against the wall, waiting for Zemo to finish discussing with his own engineer.
A few moments later, Zemo walks to him, already wearing the Mercedes uniform. “James.”
“You look hot,” Bucky says with a smirk.
“I look like this nearly every day,” Zemo says with a small huff.
Bucky shrugs. “Still looks hot.” He glances around the pit lanes; no one is currently paying them any attention, so he leans forward and presses a kiss on Zemo’s lips. “Victory sex later?”
“You think you’ll win?” Zemo asks, lips quirking up.
“Well, maybe.” Bucky grins. “But if I don’t, then you will. That still counts as a victory, don’t you think? Still warrants sex.”
“Loser gets to fuck the winner,” Zemo murmurs, licking his lips. “As compensation.”
Bucky chuckles. “So crass.”
Zemo snorts and shakes his head. “Between the two of us, you curse far more often on the track.”
“Eh, well, most racers do.”
“Oi!” Steve calls out. “Bucky, we’re about to start.”
Bucky gives him a thumbs up then looks back at Zemo. “See you on the track then.”
“Stay safe, James,” Zemo says, and in their line of work, that is not an empty phrase. Every time they get in the car, there is always a good chance that they will die.
Bucky nods and kisses him again. “You too.”
He walks back to Ferrari and gets inside one of the cars, putting on his gear. Steve hands him his steering wheel and some boys from the pit crew get behind the car, ready to push it out.
When Bucky parks on the grid, he turns a little to see Zemo diagonally behind him. Bucky gives him a salute and Zemo nods back.
“Bucky, sound check,” Steve says in his ear. “Please stop staring at your boyfriend, we have a race to finish.”
“Shut up,” Bucky mutters, looking straight ahead with a small smile. “I can hear you fine.”
“Good. Thanks.”
He takes a deep breath and watches as the rest of the mechanics leave the grid. The lights above him begin to change color, and he readies his grip on the wheel. All the drivers are revving their engines, waiting in anticipation.
Three… Two… One…
Bucky steps on the pedal and the sound of all the race cars zooming across the track is music to his ears.
2018 Australian Grand Prix Team Radio Broadcast Transcript: Barnes vs Zemo Highlights (Uncensored)
PRE-RACE
Barnes: Steve, my chair’s vibrating a lot. You getting this?
FER to Barnes: We can hear it. Box?
Barnes: It stopped. Nevermind. No need to pit.
FER to Barnes: Copy.
—
Zemo: A little sliding on the front tyres.
MBZ to Zemo: Checking… I think the tyres are just a bit cold.
MBZ to Zemo: Update. There’s a little abrasion on the front. We increased the pressure, should be better now. Test it.
Zemo: Much better.
LAP 2
Commentator: And Zemo accidentally runs into the back of Barnes’ Ferrari! Barnes spins around and nearly smashes into the barrier. He hasn’t let go of his steering wheel just yet. Now he’s back on track, chasing after Zemo!
—
Barnes: What the fuck?!
FER to Barnes: You okay? Where’d he hit you?
Barnes: I have a tyre puncture. Rear left.
FER to Barnes: Copy. Box, box, box.
Barnes: Did he get a penalty?
FER to Barnes: No. Wasn’t intentional.
Barnes: That little shit.
LAP 10
Barnes: There is a dog on the track, guys. He’s in the middle of the track.
FER to Barnes: Where’d you spot him?
Barnes: Right after turn eight.
FER to Barnes: Ok. Copy.
—
MBZ to Zemo: We have reports of a dog on turn eight. There’s a dog on turn eight. Watch out.
Zemo: I’ve seen him already. I’ve seen him already.
LAP 25
Barnes: Switch to hard tyres. I’m going to box.
FER to Barnes: Copy that.
FER to Barnes: Bucky, too late to change. Too late to change. Pit lane entry is closed.
Barnes: What? I didn’t understand you there.
FER to Barnes: Pit lane entry was supposed to be closed.
Barnes: I still got in.
FER to Barnes: Yes. Five second penalty, you’ll have to wait there a bit, sorry.
Barnes: Ridiculous. Fuck. Okay.
—
MBZ to Zemo: Zemo, the pit lane entry is currently closed. You cannot box.
Zemo: What? James just came out of it!
MBZ to Zemo: Yes, we saw that. He pitted but he should not have.
Zemo: If the entry is closed, it should be closed for everyone.
MBZ to Zemo: Barnes got a five second drive through penalty for that.
LAP 39
Commentator: Rumlow crashes into the barrier after what seems to be an engine failure. He has now climbed out of the car and he looks okay, but he is definitely pissed about this one.
—
Zemo: Is James okay?
MBZ to Zemo: He was nowhere near the crash.
Zemo: Okay. Just checking.
LAP 47
Commentator: And it’s Barnes and Zemo fighting side by side for first place! Oh, and Barnes overtakes Zemo on turn fifteen, putting him in the lead and Zemo at P2!
—
MBZ to Zemo: Push harder, Zemo. Push hard.
Zemo: Leave me alone, I know what I’m doing.
LAP 58
Commentator: We are now on the last lap with Barnes at P1, and Zemo very close behind. Oh, and Barnes has chosen to pit. Zemo as well!
—
Barnes: Hurry up, come on, come on.
—
Commentator: It takes them mere seconds and they’re out of there and—ooh, that was a close one! Barnes nearly collides with Zemo on their way out of the pit lanes; the near-collision costs them a few seconds to recuperate. Walker is now at P1, driving past both of them.
—
Barnes: Fucking hell!
—
MBZ to Zemo: Any damage?
Zemo: None.
—
Commentator: And we are nearing the end of the last lap. Barnes and Zemo have both managed to get ahead of Walker, and all eyes are on them as they overtake each other in the last few turns! And there’s the chequered flag with Zemo in the lead! And… Zemo comes in first place, with Barnes in second! Both have got their podium positions, but this puts Zemo at the top of the season, earning him the 2018 World Drivers’ Championship title for the third time in his career!
VICTORY LAP
MBZ to Zemo: Gut gemacht, Zemo. Well done. Excellent drive.
Zemo: Ah, danke, danke. Wonderful race.
—
FER to Barnes: P2, Buck, that was still a good race. Finished second overall in the championship. Good job.
Barnes: Dammit. That was a close one.
FER to Barnes: Podium finish is still good.
Barnes: Yeah, thanks guys. You guys were great.
Barnes: …Guess who I’m fucking tonight?
FER to Barnes: Bucky!
“Let’s do a shoey!” Bucky yells over the crowd as he shakes the bottle of champagne in his hand. He uncorks it and sprays it in Zemo’s face to catch his attention.
Zemo, holding his trophy in one hand and waving the other at the crowd, glances at him with a small smile but also mildly disgusted look. “That’s unsanitary, James.”
Bucky shakes his head, still grinning. “Come on! You’re world champion, live a little!” He bends down and takes his shoe off and the crowd screams more. Bucky has only ever done shoeys when he wins the world championship, but he’s weirdly ecstatic today and not horribly upset about his loss.
Zemo wrinkles his nose but sets his trophy down. “I’m not drinking from your shoe.”
“You’ve swallowed my cum, champagne’s no problem,” Bucky says, winking at him.
Zemo flushes red and hits Bucky on the shoulder. He sits down on the podium and unlaces his left shoe. Bucky pours champagne into his own shoe and lifts it up to the crowd and then he looks at Steve, wiggling his eyebrows.
Steve, who is also on-stage to accept Ferrari’s Constructor’s Championship, shakes his head, already backing away. “Oh, no. No way. Once was more than enough.”
“Oh, come on!” When Bucky looks back at Zemo, Zemo has already poured a bit of champagne into his own shoe as well and is staring at it dubiously. Bucky bumps his shoe against Zemo. “Cheers!” he yells, and then drinks.
It’s not the best, clearly, because he’s been wearing the shoe for hours. But it’s still tradition, and the crowd goes wild. Zemo takes one sip and gags, then subsequently pours everything in his shoe over Bucky’s head.
“Fuck!” Bucky laughs. He finishes the champagne inside his shoe and picks up the bottle again, pouring some over Zemo. He shakes his head, sending champagne from his hair flying all over the place.
He climbs up on the first-place podium and kisses Zemo. Zemo splutters against him, wiping his lips when they part. “You just drank from your shoe!” he says, but he’s smiling, still, so Bucky knows it’s okay.
“Proud of you,” Bucky says quietly, and he’s upset that he’s lost, sure, but he’s allowed to feel proud too, isn’t he?
Zemo’s face softens and he grabs Bucky’s hand. “Thank you.”
When they’re finally escorted off-stage, the area is slippery with champagne and sweat and Steve pats Bucky’s back on their way out.
“Hey, man, you gonna be alright?”
Bucky nods. “We’ll get ‘em next season.”
Steve grins, his face still wet with champagne. All of them are, really. “Hell yeah, we will.”
Bucky pats him back and then walks over to Zemo who is currently doing an interview with one of the journalists lined up near the barricades.
“Did you hear the last comment that James made about you over the team broadcast during his victory lap?” the reporter asks him.
Zemo doesn’t turn around, so he doesn’t see Bucky approach, but he laughs, very much calm and composed. “I did, yes.”
“How’d you feel about it?” Bucky finally asks, sliding in next to Zemo and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He looks at the camera and winks.
“James!” the reporter exclaims. “How are you feeling after losing the world championship to your boyfriend?”
Which is a little insensitive for a question, Bucky thinks, but he’s used to it. He shrugs. “Well, you know, the boyfriend in me is proud of him. The racer in me wants to tear him to shreds. All in good faith, of course!”
Zemo chuckles, but it’s a bit more awkward this time. “Well, thank you for your time,” he tells the interviewer, then he promptly leaves, nose scrunching in slight irritation. “I feel like some people expect us to break up after every race.”
“Fuck ‘em,” Bucky says in his ear. Someone jostles them on their way back to the cool down rooms. “You know, we have some time before the next press conference.”
Zemo glances back at him. “Are you serious?”
“I wanna collect my compensation,” Bucky says with a small, suggestive smile. “One of Ferrari’s rooms are empty, I think.”
“James—” Zemo looks at crowd of reporters in the pit lanes. He sighs. “Alright. Come on.”
Zemo pinches the bridge of his nose and manages to look dignified even if he’s standing in front of Bucky with his pants off. “Why do you have lube in your other shoe?”
“It’s my lucky lube,” Bucky says. His pants are already down and he’s sitting on the couch with only his shirt on.
Zemo blinks at him. “Lucky lube.”
“Hey, don’t judge me. Everyone’s got a lucky something.” Bucky tears the packet with his teeth and glances at the door, just to double check and make sure that it really is locked.
“I do not have a lucky anything,” Zemo says. “Only skill. Which you might not—”
“Ha, ha, okay,” Bucky grunts. “The fuckee is now going to shut up and sit on my lap.”
Zemo doesn’t protest.
Bucky leans back on the couch and closes his eyes. “Yeah, okay, round two when we get back to the hotel.”
Zemo laughs shakily and gives him a weak swat on the chest. “You are insatiable.”
Bucky shrugs. “Can’t help it.”
Zemo finally looks up and squints at the clock right above Bucky’s head. “James.”
“Yeah?”
“We’re late.”
Bucky turns his head and angles it up. “Ah, shit.”
“Sorry, everyone,” Bucky says as they run up onto the stage with their faces flushed, hair sticking to their foreheads, and race suits hanging down from their waists in an effort to look more composed. They also smell like a mix of sex and champagne, but no one says anything about it. Zemo is doing a far better job than Bucky is despite the fact that he’d been the one who just got fucked.
Bucky tries not to be miffed.
Zemo sits down and winces a little—to that, Bucky smiles—and he leans forward so his voice can be heard on the microphones. “We sincerely apologize for being late.”
Steve, who is standing off to the side of the stage, waves at Bucky to catch his attention. When Bucky looks over, Steve points at his race suit and makes an X with his hands, shaking his head.
Bucky frowns and looks down.
Oh.
He’s wearing the Mercedes race suit.
That means Zemo’s wearing the Ferrari one.
Cameras have most definitely caught that, and Bucky hopes it doesn’t affect any sponsorships. He tries to bring the chair closer to the table so that the race suit is hidden from view.
“Question for James,” one of the journalists asks. Bucky snaps back to the present and looks at the guy asking the question. “Zemo has mentioned in a press conference back in 2015 that he had no intention of doing a shoey on the podium. How did you force him to do that?”
The whole room laughs, and Bucky feels more at ease. He grabs the mic and tugs it down so it’s level with his mouth.
“Well, some people do anything for love,” he jokes, looking over to see Zemo shaking his head with a smile. Bucky grins and leans back on his chair, arms folded. He might not be world champion this year, but he’s one happy bastard anyway.