Chapter Text
Tommy remembers the first time he had killed someone.
Sir, the Agent that usually watched over them– they never knew his real name, and were instructed to only address him as “Sir”– brought both him and Tubbo into a simple white room. It was empty, apart from a single man sitting on a wooden chair in the middle of the room, gagged and bound.
Sir instructed Tommy to stand in front of him. Tommy obeyed, fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously.
Sir smiled, a neutral, cold smile. His face was void of any significant emotion, “Good, now kill him.”
Tommy blinked. “What?”
“You heard me,” Sir said, and pointed at the man, “Kill him. But no weapons, use only your powers.”
Tommy stayed still, rooted to the spot.
“Come on now, just like we practiced.”
Tubbo cowered behind Sir, chewing his bottom lip anxiously. Internally, Tommy panicked. He had seen people die before, of course he had. But he had never been told to do it himself.
“Uhm, are-are you sure?” Tommy asked with a shaky laugh. “Who even is he? Why do you want me to ki-kill him?”
Sir rolled his eyes. “Does it matter, boy?” He snapped. Tommy froze, he knew what that tone meant. Sir’s patience was wearing thin. “Don’t question me. I told you to kill him, so do it.”
Tommy turned to face the person he was meant to kill, taking in a deep breath. The man had completely lost it by now, he was writhing in his bindings, screaming into the cloth over his mouth.
Tommy took in another deep breath, in and out. Alright, I can do this
He reached out to the strands of energy in the air and began weaving. Just remember what you practiced, remember the training, remember-
The sight of the man trembling before him made him pause. All of a sudden, the man’s muffled pleas sounded so loud. His eyes were wide in fear. Tommy imagined watching the light fade from those exact same pair of eyes, dulling into lifelessness.
A hint of hesitance crawled into Tommy’s chest.
Apparently, he had hesitated for a moment too long.
From behind him, he heard Sir’s disappointed sigh, before Tubbo’s frightened shrieks filled the air. Tommy whipped around to be met with the sight of Sir lifting Tubbo off the ground by the collar of his shirt. A malicious glint had found its way into Sir’s eyes, as Tubbo clawed frantically at the older man’s wrists.
“What the hell are you doing!?” He growled, anger bubbled deep within him, “Let him go!”
“Certainly,” Sir said, before literally letting Tubbo go. The small boy was dropped onto the ground like a rag doll. He gasped and scrambled onto his hands and knees, trying to gather his bearings. Tubbo barely had any time to recover before Sir slammed him down into the ground on his stomach, holding one of his arms firmly behind his back.
“So, Tommy, what will it be?” said Sir, as he twisted Tubbo’s arms painfully against his back. Tubbo’s yelps of surprise quickly turned into ones of agony.
“What the- Stop it! You’re hurting him!” yelled Tommy, as he moved to rush forward.
“Nu-uh-uh.” The look on Sir’s face made Tommy freeze in his steps, “Don’t come any closer, not unless you want Tubbo hurt even more.” As if to prove his point, Sir pressed down harder, and Tubbo screamed , tears beginning to trickle down his face.
Tommy clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles turned white. He was seething, shaking as rage bloomed within him. He wanted to make Tubbo’s pain stop, but he could do nothing but stand idly by.
“You angry? Are you absolutely furious that your brother here is hurting?” Sir asked, lightening the pressure slightly. Tubbo stopped screaming, gasping raggedly. “That’s good. You need to understand, Tommy, that I’m doing you a favour. I’m making the job of killing that man easier for you.”
Sir nodded at the bound and blindfolded man behind Tommy, “Just like we practiced. Feel that anger building inside you? It’s burning, ravaging , isn’t it? It’s just waiting to be let out. Use it, use it to fuel your power, and take everything out on him. Kill him, and Tubbo won’t hurt anymore.”
And Tommy did. He swung back around and reached for the strands of energy around them once again, blinded by white-hot rage. Anything to keep Tubbo safe. Anything for Tubbo.
The threads of energy had never felt so strong, had never been this easy to pull. Tommy grabbed at them using only the power of his mind, and wove a net tightly around the man. The man wasn't able to see these strands of energy, no one besides Tommy could. But Tommy could definitely make him feel them.
Tommy gathered as many threads as he could into a bundle, reached out, and yanked . The man let out a bloodcurdling scream.
You are not here, you are not tied up. No, instead, your limbs are being ripped off, one by one. Your skin is being peeled off your back. All over your body, all you feel is burning pain. The more you writhe and cry, it only seems to make the pain more intense, more unbearable. You want to make it stop, but you can’t.
The man was sobbing now, cries giving way to pleas of mercy. Tommy pulled harder, twisting, and poured all of his rage into strengthening the threads of energy, increasing the man’s belief that he was in agony.
All of a sudden, Tommy felt something snap in the man’s heart, a breaking of strings. Slowly, he inched his eyes open, not even realising that they had been squeezed tight. Tommy froze.
The cloth on the man’s mouth was now stained with a red patch of blood. His fingers twitched, but his eyes were glazed over, unseeing. The storm of anger in Tommy’s mind vanished in a rush– he collapsed onto his knees, suddenly unable to catch his breath.
He had done it, he had murdered him.
Tommy stayed where he was, staring at the man he had just killed in stunned silence. From behind him, he vaguely heard a satisfied grunt from Sir, and a breath of relief from Tubbo as he was released from Sir’s grasp.
“Tommy, Tommy hey-” Tubbo whispered as he crawled up to Tommy’s side. Tubbo’s left arm was held up at an unnatural angle, obviously still sore.
“Tommy... are you alright?” Of course Tubbo would be worried for him. Sweet, caring Tubbo, even after practically being tortured, still rushed to check if Tommy was alright before even thinking to care for himself.
Just like that, the dam broke, and streams of tears started pouring out of Tommy's eyes. He buried his face into Tubbo’s shoulder and bawled, soaking his shirt with tears. Tubbo wrapped his arms around Tommy in comfort. Before long, he too started to cry. And the two brothers knelt there, overwhelmed with emotion, sobbing into each other’s sleeve.
“You did good, Tommy,” gushed Sir from behind him, “I’m proud of you.” Upon hearing his praise, something warm welled up inside of Tommy. But even that did nothing to quell the streams he was crying.
They had been 11 years old at the time.
>~~∆~~<
There were really only three different types of outfits in the Institution. Tommy has never seen any other types of clothes, and if he had, he didn’t remember it.
First, there were the white coats that doctors and scientists wore. Then, there was the fully black outfit that the Agents wore. It had long-sleeves and long-pants, with a vest and sometimes paired with gloves, hood and face-mask. Then there was the simple white cotton shirt and pants, with the Institution’s insignia on the sleeve, that kids at the Institution all wore.
Speaking of kids at the Institution, Tommy had never ever really gotten to know or made friends with other kids there. He knew they existed, he had seen them in the cafeteria or walking around sometimes, but they all just kinda came and went. And by came and went, he means they literally came and went.
Tommy noticed the disappearing kids early on. Some kids would be at their usual table one day, and then gone the next, never to be seen again.
One day, when he was 8, Tommy finally gathered the courage to dare to ask Sir where all the missing kids went. Sir had smiled, and Tommy’s skin crawled. Sir’s smiles were never warm or kind, they were always wicked, always seemed to have some sort of meaning behind them.
“Tommy... you, me, Tubbo, and everyone else here at the Institution, all the kids and Agents, we’re all a family. And the weak will only slow a family down, they will only bring harm to a family. You do understand, right?”
Tommy nodded slowly, because he did, he did understand. From then onwards, Tommy understood more clearly than ever.
Kids at the Institution, kids like them, grew up training to become Agents when they got older. And Agents were meant to be strong, powerful, they made no room for mistakes. If you were weak, you were a liability, you were to be gotten rid off.
Tommy wanted, needed to be strong, to train harder, to learn faster. In order to make his family proud.
Sometimes it was hard, but it would be okay. As long as he had his brother there, everything would be okay in the end. Well, Tubbo and him weren’t real brothers (at least, they didn’t think they were), but they might as well be. They grew up together, had seen each other at their best and at their worst, whether it be bleeding on the ground or sobbing in bed from the pain of their injuries.
Tubbo was the constant that Tommy had and needed. While other kids came and went, Tubbo was always there, always by his side.
>~~∆~~<
For as long as Tommy could remember, he had only known life in the Institution, with its long hallways, pristine white walls and bright fluorescent lights. He had never been outside before. The Agents told them that the outside world wasn’t safe for children like them, that dangers lurked at every corner. That they were lucky to have been raised here, where they could be taught how to not be defenceless.
And Tommy grew up believing them. Why wouldn't he? The outside world was full of insecurity, uncertainty. Here, there was familiarity. It was home, it was safe.
Well, as safe as it could be.
As soon as they were old enough to walk and talk, the lessons began, the trainings. Of course there were the basics, reading and writing, solving math problems. But they were also taught how to be smart, how to think quickly and on their feet.
Then there was learning how to fight. They were taught how to wield all different types of blades, how to shoot a gun, how to win a fight using only hand-to-hand, how to be resourceful and turn anything into a weapon in the absence of a real one.
Sometimes it was tough, it was brutal. Sometimes either him or Tubbo or both of them returned to their room at night with their feet dragging behind them in exhaustion, sore and bruised and bandaged all over. But hey, if that was the only way to get stronger, so be it.
And then their powers manifested.
Tubbo developed his ability first, when they were 9 years old.
It was an average day, Tubbo and him were sitting across from each other at a table in the cafeteria, having lunch. Tubbo was using his spoon to repeatedly flip over his broccoli in distaste. The food was bland, as usual. It wasn’t meant to taste good, just to serve the purpose of filling them up for the day.
Everyone’s serving was different, carefully calculated by the Institution depending on age, body type, and amount of physical activity they had to perform each day. They were fed just the right amount of calories they needed, not too little, nor too much. And they were expected to eat all of it, no wasting food.
Suddenly, Tubbo shrieked, and his metal spoon dropped into the table with a clang. Tommy jumped in surprise, averting his eyes from his own food to look up. The first thing he noticed was the metal spoon, lying on the table. Except now, the handle was bent in the middle at an angle, with a strange black liquid dripping from the joint where it was bent.
Tommy frowned in confusion, and raised his head to look at the other boy. Tubbo was frozen, eyes wide in caution and slight fear. One of his palms was held open, with the same black liquid dripping from his fingertips.
An Agent from the side of the room noticed the commotion and came over. When she realised what had happened, she instructed Tubbo to stand up and follow her, and told Tommy that he was excused from the rest of today’s schedule and was to return to his room after dinner.
“What about Tubbo? Where are you taking him? I want to come too.” The Agent frowned and turned away, ignoring him. Tubbo took one last glance at Tommy before obediently following behind her.
Tommy didn’t see Tubbo again until midnight that day. Technically, he had stayed up past the 11 o’clock curfew, but he wasn’t about to go fall asleep while Tubbo was still out there dealing with who-knows-what on his own, without Tommy with him. So Tommy spent the entire day drowning in worry, and now lay in bed in the dark, eyes wide open with the inability to fall asleep.
Where was he? Surely… surely Tubbo hadn’t messed up so bad, that the Agents decided to take him away, right? No, of course not. Tubbo was a big man, Tubbo was strong. Only the weak kids disappear, only the weak kids don’t come back. Tubbo couldn’t be gone.
All of a sudden, there was the click of the door unlocking, and Tommy squinted as light from the outside flooded in. Tubbo stumbled in, and the door shut behind him. There was a click again. Locked.
Immediately, Tommy was flooded with relief. He got up and rushed over to Tubbo’s side, helping him towards his bed. The boy was absolutely exhausted, and needed to lean onto Tommy for support. As soon as they reached Tubbo’s bed, Tubbo collapsed onto it face-first.
Tommy noticed that there were now two metal cuffs on each of Tubbo’s wrist. He recognised them, sometimes he would see some of the older kids walking around, they all wore similar cuffs. They were ability dampening cuffs.
“What happened? Do you- are you alright to talk about it?” Tommy asked softly. They would get in trouble if the Agents heard them talking after curfew.
“Yeah, yeah- I’m fine, just tired that's all.” Tubbo turned his head to look at Tommy, smiling tiredly, “Not much happened. They just took blood samples, did some medical exams, made me use my power over and over again, trying to figure out how it worked.”
“Your power… what is it?” Tommy asked eagerly.
“I can secrete poisons and acids from my skin, like all different kinds! From the type of poison just makes your stomach feel sick when you eat it, to the types of acid that corrode metal. And not just from my hand either. We tried it out, and apparently even my feet can do it! Cool, isn’t it? Wanna see?”
Tubbo flexed his fingers experimentally, before frowning when he remembered about the ability dampening cuffs. “Oh yeah, I can’t do it now. I’ll show you tomorrow though.”
“That is cool,” said Tommy, voice wavering slightly. Don’t get him wrong, he was happy for Tubbo, but he was also a little... jealous?
Kids usually manifested their ability when they were 7 or 8. Now that they were 9, him and Tubbo were considered late bloomers. And now, even Tubbo had developed his ability before him. Granted, Tubbo was older than him, but still.
Tubbo noticed Tommy’s gloominess, of course he did. “Hey, don’t worry,” He said in a comforting tone, “Just be patient, I’m sure yours will come soon.” After a moment, Tommy nodded, uncertainly.
He hoped so, he didn’t want to be a failure.
>~~∆~~<
And Tubbo was right, Tommy’s did come soon. 3 months after Tubbo’s, in fact.
On some days, if their schedule allowed for it, they had some free time in their room before curfew. Usually, they would spend the time chatting, or reading. They loved to read, it was so interesting to explore the various worlds in storybooks, and it was a way to pass the time. The Agents didn’t mind them reading at all. And if they requested for it, they were willing to bring the boys many different types of books, mostly fairytales, but they had a fair few other novels.
Anyways, one day during said free time, Tommy was sitting on his bed reading a book out loud to Tubbo, who sat next to Tommy, listening. Tubbo wasn’t very good at reading, dyslexic and all, so he preferred having Tommy read to him.
“... The cat lived in a big hole in the trunk some little distance from the ground, where she could sleep very cosily, curled up out of sight-” A blur of colours appearing from the corner of his eyes made Tommy freeze.
“Tubbo… do you see that?”
“Hmm?” Tubbo lifted his head off Tommy’s shoulder where he had been leaning on, “What do you-” And then he saw it.
There in the centre of their room, right between their two beds, was a bright orange-brown striped cat, curled up on the floor, sleeping.
Except, it wasn’t sleeping. In fact, it didn’t even look alive, there was no rise and fall of its chest, the tell-tale sign that it was breathing. The cat was just there, appearing out of nowhere.
Tommy glanced down at the picture in his book, and then back up at the cat. The cat in their room looked exactly the same as the one in the book.
“What the-”
“Tommy! This is amazing!” Exclaimed Tubbo, shaking Tommy’s shoulders excitedly, “This must be your power finally developing!”
Was it? Tommy stared at the cat intently, anticipation bloomed in his chest. Was his ability finally manifesting?
“Oh, I wonder what it is!” Tubbo continued to ramble in excitement, “Could it be that you can bring things in books to life, perhaps? Or- Oh! We should call Sir!”
Before Tommy could stop him, Tubbo had already scrambled off the bed. He hurried to the “call button” at the corner of the room and pressed it. The button was so that Sir, or any other Agent that was available, knew when the boys needed something. It was only to be used for important things though, like if one of them got sick.
Before long, Sir appeared at their doorway. When he saw the cat in the middle of the room, he quickly figured out what was happening, sighed and told Tommy to follow him. Tommy obeyed, and Tubbo said a quick goodbye before the door shut behind them.
Sir led him to one of the medical rooms, where, as Tubbo once told him, a doctor took some blood samples from Tommy and did some medical examinations on him. Afterwards, Sir brought him to the training room where he and Tubbo used for combat training.
“Do it again,” commanded Sir, pointing at the ground in front of them, “Make that cat appear again,”
Tommy nodded. And god did he try so fucking hard to make the stupid cat appear, but no matter how hard he concentrated, the floor remained empty.
After a few minutes of nothing, Tommy whimpered miserably, “I’m sorry, I can’t-”
Sir shook his head, “I’m disappointed, Tommy, I thought you could do better.” The tone in his voice made Tommy’s chest tighten.
“No no!” Tommy quickly said, “Let me try it again… I’m sure I can do it.”
Sir smiled, “Alright then, show me, keep trying.”
And Tommy did, he tried and tried and tried to focus until his head throbbed and his vision grew blurry. Because he wasn’t a failure, and he wasn’t going to disappoint Sir.
When the dumb cat finally appeared, its image looked fractured, and wasnt as real-looking as the one in his room. Tommy collapsed onto his knees on wobbly legs, panting heavily. Just that simple display of his ability had drained his mental energy.
Only then did Sir wave him away and tell him to go back to his room. It was 7 in the morning by then, he was excused from his schedule that day. When Tommy returned to his room, he collapsed into bed, ignoring Tubbo’s questions and immediately fell asleep.
Tommy’s ability was much harder to pinpoint than Tubbo’s, only after a week did the Agents finally come to a conclusion.
Tommy had the power of Illusions, he could create things that weren't real, make people see things that weren’t there. And throughout the next few years, Tommy spent the time perfecting his ability, training to make his illusions seem as real as possible.
Sir said that Tommy’s power was fueled by emotions. Negative emotions bring about the most significant effect, especially anger and fear. And you bet that the Agents used that knowledge to their advantage during the early stages of Tommy’s ability training, when he had trouble even forming the simplest of illusions.
But eventually, he learnt how to make living things seem alive , by mimicking the rhythmic rise and fall of their chests. He learnt how to disguise himself as someone else- human faces were the hardest to create, there were so many micro-movements in a single expression that the slightest mistake would make the entire face look off.
And before long, Tommy and the Agents realised that Tommy could do much more with his powers than simple trickery of the eye.
You see, humans have five senses, sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch. Illusions didn’t just mean trickery of the sight, but trickery of all of the senses. So after enough practice, Tommy learnt how to fool them all.
Eventually, Tommy could make someone believe that they were inhaling toxic gases, when it was just normal air. He could make a person believe that they were drinking wine when in reality it was liquid mercury. He could make people hear voices that weren’t there, make them think they were going crazy.
He could make someone feel pain, that wasn’t even real.
>~~∆~~<
They were 13, it was past curfew. They were both lying in their beds, trying to sleep.
“Hey, Tommy?”
“Yeah, Big Man?”
“What do you think the sky looks like?” Tubbo asked from where he lay flat on the bed, an open palm was reached up overhead, as a dazed look of wonder filled his eyes.
“Do you think it’s bright blue like what all the books say? Or do you think it's some other colour? Like green? Or red? I know how much you like red.”
“Tubbo, don’t be ridiculous.” Tommy groaned, curling back up into the covers of his bed. “The sky doesn’t exist, you’ve been reading too many stories. Real life isn’t a fairytale.”
“Now shut up and go to sleep, the Agents said tomorrow’s gonna be tough.”
And Tubbo did shut up. They settled into a heavy silence, that seemed to drag on in the darkness.
“But, Tubbo-”
“Yeah?” Even though Tommy couldn’t see Tubbo’s face in the dark, he could practically hear the smile in his voice.
“If the sky was real,” Tommy felt a smile crawl onto his own face, “You can bet that it’s definitely red.”
“ Red ? Really?” Said Tubbo, giggling, “Won’t it look like the world is bleeding though?”
“Not blood red, dumbass! Like- a warm red, like the shade that makes you feel all nice and fuzzy inside.”
“And how about clouds? Do you think they’re real?”
“Oh if they’re real, clouds can go to hell for all I care!” Tommy scoffed, “Like, who the hell do they think they are? Trampling on the sky’s territory like that! I mean, if I was the sky, I would go ‘Get off my lawn, you damn clouds!’ “
Tubbo slammed his face into his pillow to muffle the sounds of laughter coming from his mouth. Upon hearing Tubbo trembling with laughter, something inside Tommy softened, and he grinned.
Yeah, life here wasn’t so bad. They were getting stronger every day, and they had each other. He had Tubbo and Tubbo had him, that was all they needed. Tubbo and Tommy, Tommy and Tubbo, brothers always. The only constant in their lives were each other.
That was, until one day when they were 17, Tommy returned to their room with Tubbo at his side, to see an unfamiliar half-black, half-white haired boy, standing in the middle of their room.