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There is a flower crown.
She is going to kill Octavia.
**
She doesn't expect anything from the day- anything unusual at least. Their negotiations are always tense at best, and there is always the possibility that one of the parties will kill members of the other, but again, that's usual.
That's expected.
What's not expected is Lexa presenting her, Bellamy, her mother and Kane with a Grounder.
''We would like to offer you Baran,'' she says and Clarke is...
Well, Clarke is incredibly confused.
''Offer him?'' she asks, growing more and more uncomfortable as her imagination runs wild.
(If they are giving her a slave, she might just scream.)
''To you,'' Lexa says, as if Clarke has some hearing problem.
(Or comprehension problem.)
(The fact that Lexa is easily the most sarcastic person on the face of the Earth still surprises Clarke.)
''As your future husband.''
''I'm sorry, what?''
**
It's stupid, it's incredibly stupid- they shouldn't be wasting fabric, and they shouldn't be wasting an entire day on this fake ceremony she doesn't even want to be a part of.
There is a knock on the door of the room she's been pushed in, followed by a quiet voice.
''Princess?''
Oh.
It's her future husband.
''Don't come inside,'' she calls out and she can imagine his frown.
''Why the hell not?'' the door start to open and she body-slams into it, closing it.
(She's pretty certain the blowback slammed the door straight into Bellamy's face, if his pained groan is anything to go on.)
''It's bad luck,'' she rolls her eyes, and she honestly can't say if it's for him or herself.
''Bad... Are you actually kidding me right now?'' he asks, and he sounds so indignant, so incredulous, that she bursts out laughing.
He laughs too, and suddenly they're both in a complete fit against the steel door.
''Seriously, though, do not come in,'' she says as she catches her breath. ''Raven might actually throw you into the fence. While it's on.''
''Got it,'' he says. ''I just wanted to make sure you're still on with... This.''
''Of course I'm on,'' she snorts. ''Not like I have much choice.''
''You wound me.''
''Better me than Lexa, though.''
''… That is a good point.''
**
''It is how we finish negotiations,'' Lexa says, eyes narrowed at Clarke. Clarke feels the blood drain rapidly from her face. ''It is a great honor, Clarke of the Sky People. Baran is a great warrior He will make a good match for you.''
''Match?'' Clarke's voice sounds embarrassingly squeaky.
''He is the best warrior of all my people,'' Lexa says, voice wavering on impatience. ''As you are of yours.''
''I-'' Clarke stammers.
Finally, an obstacle too great.
(You would think 'negotiations' were finished the minute they destroyed the Mountain Men, but apparently, no.)
''I am very honored by your offer,'' she starts, voice shaky. ''But...''
But what?
All eyes are on her, and Clarke would very much like to crawl under a rock.
''Unfortunately, Clarke will have to decline,'' Bellamy says from behind her, taking a step to stand next to her.
I will? Clarke thinks as she turns her head to look at Bellamy. His face is unreadable and she is beyond worried.
''And why is that?'' Lexa nearly barks at him, but he remains calm.
(Clarke would also love to know why that is.)
''Because she is engaged to me,'' he says solemnly.
**
''I still can't believe you're getting married to my brother,' Octavia nearly deafens her with her squeal, and Clarke rolls her eyes, despite the rush of heat to her cheeks.
''O...''
''I know, I know,'' Octavia laughs.
(They avoid saying 'fake marriage' at the moment, in case the Grounders somehow have ear in the metal walls of the Ark.)
''It's still exciting though,'' she beams and Clarke can't help but smile. ''And I know you're excited, too,'' she admonishes and Clarke can't stop the blush.
''Shut up, O.''
''Mm hm''
''Seriously.''
''You love my brooooother-''
''Holy Christ, Octavia, I will slip poison ivy in your tent-''
''Clarke and Bellamy sitting in a tree- woah, hey, no punching!''
**
There is an uproar in the room.
(The loudest one is Abby, obviously.)
Clarke wants to uproar as well, but she's frozen as she looks at Bellamy.
Indra is yelling something at Lexa, and Clarke is pretty certain it's along the lines we have literally checked a gazillion times, with the both of them, cut their throats!
(When she thinks of Indra as a character from that one old movie she's watched on the Ark, yelling Dishonor on your cow! a startled laugh escapes her lips.)
Bellamy looks down at her, and she can see in his eyes a rainbow of emotions; apology, panic, stress, and the ever-present hope he doesn't get his ass kicked.
''Silence!'' Lexa shouts and sure enough, people listen. She turns her eyes towards Clarke and Bellamy, and Clarke reminds herself to breathe.
Her hands shoots out and interlaces her fingers with Bellamy's.
(It's so natural and she isn't even surprised.)
Lexa's eyes zero in on their fingers and then she looks Clarke in the eyes.
''We were under the impression your relationship was purely a professional one,'' she says slowly, hands on hips. Clarke looks up at Bellamy, and then back at Lexa.
''It was for the good of the Camp,'' she lies (easily). ''The kids are too excitable. The last thing we wanted was for some people to question our decisions because we were... Involved.''
She can practically feel the glares coming from her mother and Kane.
She hopes Lexa will fall for it.
The Grounder Commander assesses them carefully, eyes cold and calculating.
''It seems...''
**
She's actually wearing a white dress.
She cannot believe herself, or the prioritization her kids seem to have.
-
Get Mom a pretty dress.
-
Get Dad a makeshift tie.
-
Get Mom and Dad married.
-
Make more Moonshine.
-
Consider the fact that everything around us might kill us at any second.
-
Search for more ingredients for Moonshine.
She's actually wearing a white dress and walking down a makeshift aisle, and she.
Is.
Wearing.
A.
Flower.
Crown.
God damn it, Octavia.
**
''Congratulations are in order,'' Lexa says, and Clarke's heart just may burst. ''Forgive us for our... Assumptions.''
''That's cool,'' Clarke says a bit too quickly, and then flushes. ''That's... That's fine. We probably should have... Said something.''
''Wanted it to be a surprise for Unity Day,'' Bellamy adds helpfully and Clarke has to breathe very carefully in order not to go into hysterics.
''Like an early Christmas for the kids,'' Clarke says and by the hitch in Bellamy's breath she knows he's now fighting the same fight.
''How... Charming,'' Lexa comments, and oh God, she's gonna blow this cover completely.
Lexa nods at her people and the Grounders bow their heads for a moment, and the Sky People return the gesture.
Lexa looks up at them one more time.
''Do tell us when the ceremony will take place,'' she says, an almost smile on her face. ''We would like to bring gifts and learn your customs.''
(Clarke is afraid of that little smile.)
''Sure,'' she breathes out. ''Just... Yeah. Lincoln will-'' she looks quickly at Lincoln and he nods. ''Lincoln will tell you.''
**
Lexa and the Grounders look like a murder of crows as they stand off slightly to the side from everyone else. Octavia and Raven are up front, with blinding smiles.
The kids are actually, literally crying.
(Seriously. Miller is sobbing on Monroe's shoulder. What. What.)
Clarke stares at her feet as she goes, because her knees are wobbly, and she actually feels like she might fall and she dares to look up and-
Yeah.
She stumbles.
Bellamy looks somewhat annoyed at the world, but he gives her one of his overly-confident smirks and damn it, she wishes for a moment that this is more real than it actually is.
(She is not singing sappy songs in her head.)
(She is not.)
He's wearing dark pants and something that looks like a very basic imitation of a waist-coat over a white shirt, and she's trying not to think of just how much fabric was actually spent in the making of their wedding attire.
God.
She's actually marrying Bellamy Blake.
And Marcus Kane is officiating the ceremony.
What. Even.
She has refused to have a bouquet on which Raven insisted on, and when she stands in front of Bellamy, there's a brief moment when they look at each other ready to laugh again before they take each others' hand.
''Dearly beloved,'' Kane sighs. ''We are gathered here today...''
**
They kiss.
It's awesome.
Murphy is wailing in the background.
**
They send Lincoln to camp first- actually, they tell him to quickly locate Octavia and explain her the situation. They have full confidence she'll be able to explain everything to the rest of the Camp by the time they get there.
''So,'' Bellamy says quietly. ''We're getting married.''
''Yeah,'' Clarke replies.
They're still holding hands.
She's painfully aware of that.
''If you don't want to, I can... I don't know, take a spear to the chest or something,'' he says, and a hysterical giggle escapes her lips. ''I'm pretty sure Lexa would do the honors herself.''
She slaps his shoulder. ''That's a horrible thing to say,'' she admonishes.
''You're right,'' he nods. ''O would probably kill me first.''
''No way, she'd throttle me.''
''She'll insist on being the Maid of Honor.''
''I think it's going to be a fair fight between her, Raven, and Murphy.''
''Those damn kids are going to be the death of me.''
''Yeah.''
They walk in silence a bit more.
''But no, seriously,'' he stops and looks at her. ''If you don't want something, Clarke, all of us will fight against the Grounders if we have to-''
''Don't be silly,'' she shakes her head. ''We're the leaders. We make the hard decisions. Besides, we practically live together.''
That, at least, is true. And the kids think they're together-together anyways.
**
''It was so romantic! Apparently Lexa wanted her to marry one of her people, and Bellamy jumped in front of her, yelled 'This is my future wife and the mother of my children!', and then knocked the Grounder out and kissed Clarke! Like, leaned her back and everything! Like in the movies!''
She is going to kill Octavia.
**
The ceremony goes without a single victim.
Jasper holds a very emotional speech.
Octavia announces her own engagement. Bellamy nearly has an apoplexy.
Lexa hooks up with Murphy.
Clarke wishes that was the weirdest thing that happened today.
Bellamy's arms are around her waist and they're swaying in place to some song playing on the old gramophone they'd found in one of the countless underground hatches they found during their time here.
''You know, I didn't expect I'd be getting married at all, let alone so soon,'' Clarke says, her fingers tracing Bellamy's neck. ''It's only been two years since we landed.''
''Feels like more,'' he mutters.
''That's because you're an old dinosaur,'' she snorts and he glares at her mockingly.
''Hey, I'll have you know I'm only 25,'' he says indignantly, and she gasps in mock-shock.
''Jesus,'' she says. ''You're freaking ancient!''
''Hey, these ancient bones are still good for some things,'' he protests and Clarke's mind immediately goes to the weirdest possible place and now she's blushing.
Of course he notices.
The grin spreading over his face is positively sinful.
''I could show you just how young I am,'' he says in a hoarse voice and while Clarke is about 98% certain he's not serious, she doesn't look away from him.
And then she kisses him again.
(She can literally hear the fist-pumping around them.)
''Get it, Clarke!''
She is going to kill Octavia.