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Jo stormed through the office, her mind flooding back to her conversation with Zack. She was conflicted, because seeing the effect he had on Brad was almost gut-wrenching, but she couldn’t help the fact she was drawn to power. Zack was almost appealing, but Jo wasn’t sure if she could ever do that to Brad.
Brad was her boss, and she liked learning from him. He had always told her to jump ship when things went awry, to “take the credit and not the blame,” but this time she couldn’t. She couldn’t just abandon Brad for his brother, just like everyone else had seemingly done.
Brad was her mentor. And more importantly, Brad was her friend.
Jo opened the door to Brad’s office to find him sitting at his desk. There was a half-empty mochachino off to the side, the one that Jo had brought for him. She had dropped it off after the situation in the MoCap booth, but Brad hadn’t been in there, so she left it on his desk.
The weird thing now was actually seeing Brad.
Brad’s head was down, arms crossed over himself in a protective position. His hands were tangled in his hair, harshly tugging on strands over and over again. Unlike earlier, Brad didn’t pick his head up when she walked in the room, but he did speak up, his voice cracked and a little muffled.
“David, please get the fuck out.” Brad said.
“It’s me,” Jo responded. “And I’ll keep David out of here if you’d like, but are you okay?”
Brad sighed. “Hi, Jo.”
Jo noted that Brad didn’t answer her question.
Brad continued to yank at his hair, and Jo was beginning to assume that it hurt. She took a stress toy off his desk, the yellow ball he had been using earlier, and held it out to him. Since Brad wasn’t looking at her, he didn’t move from his position.
Jo gently nudged his hands with the toy, and Brad froze, before reluctantly taking his hands away and holding the yellow ball. He squeezed it rather aggressively, and Jo was thankful it was that rather than his hair.
As Jo went to turn around and leave, she noticed that Brad’s shoulders were shaking. And he was sniffling. Brad was crying, and that was something Jo had never even seen before, let alone been right next to him for.
She quickly shut the blinds in his office, turning off the lights except for one in the corner. She figured that the less people knew about his state right now, the calmer he would start to feel.
Jo didn’t want to leave Brad alone like this, so she pulled the chair from David’s desk, and she sat quietly next to Brad. She didn’t question him, or judge him, she just stayed, silently there to support him.
Brad had started muttering to himself, but Jo could only pick up a few words. She caught him repeating “useless” “weak” and “embarrassing.”
“I’m so fucking stupid!” Brad said, his voice loud enough for Jo to hear.
“Hey!” Jo cut in. “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”
“Zack made me fucking beg to keep this game, Jo. It was humiliating, and he’s right to call me weak. I knew he wasn’t gonna give in anyways, but I- I didn’t know what else to do. I was pleading like a fucking child, like me life depended on it… just like I did with Kate.”
Jo went silent at the mention of Kate, knowing how traumatizing that had to have been for Brad, and how Zack clearly felt no remorse.
At that point, Brad picked his head up. He only made eye contact with Jo for a split second, but she saw enough. His eyes were red, tears staining his splotchy cheeks. His usually-neat hair was pulled in every possible direction. If Jo was being honest, he looked a mess.
“I’m assuming he told you about Kate?” Brad asked, looking at his hands.
“Yeah,” Jo paused. “I’m sorry.”
“Did he tell you that I had to watch it happen?”
Jo shook her head.
Brad laughed sadly, except it wasn’t really a laugh. It was more of a scoff than anything. He looked at his hands and sighed shakily.
“My father had always said that killing the pig myself would be good for me, to toughen me up, I suppose. Raising it was the only thing that was part of our 4-H assignment, but he insisted, and I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt her. So… so Zack did it instead. I cried, and I- I- I begged him not to do it. But he didn’t listen. He’s never listened.”
Jo remained still, almost in shock, seeing if Brad was going to finish his story. He was wiping at his eyes the longer he spoke, and Jo looked away to give him at least some form of privacy.
“Why didn’t you just, like, leave?” Jo asked, careful not to set Brad off, because she really didn’t like seeing him cry.
Brad scoffed again. “I wish it could have been that easy. But, but, Zack made me stay. He threatened to tell our dad that I wasn’t the one to hurt Kate. So I stayed. Zack told Papa anyways, and I never heard the end of it.”
At some point (Jo didn’t know when) Brad had closed his eyes. She wasn’t even sure if he had realized he had done it either. But his lips were pressed into a tight line, his breathing ragged from his failed attempts at calming down. The stress toy was going back and forth in his hands at a rapid pace.
Brad sharply inhaled. “I never cry. I shouldn’t be crying. Papa was right about me, I’m such a fucking pussy.”
“You’re not. You have all the reason to be upset, because your brother is a fucking dickhead.”
Brad turned his head back to Jo, his eyes slightly widening. He was actually looking at her for longer than a second, and he seemed taken aback by her presence. Jo shot him a brief smile in hopes to maybe cheer him up.
“You’re still here.” Brad pointed out.
“Of course I am.”
“Why? Why aren’t you leaving like everyone else would have done already?
“You shouldn’t have to be alone,” Jo reassured him. “Unless you want me to go.”
“No, Jo, it’s fine. Thank you for listening to me, or whatever, I don’t know.”
Jo nodded. “I figured you wanted the company.”
Brad pushed himself back in his desk chair, running a hand through his hair to put it all back in place. He cleared his throat, rolling his shoulders a few times and sighing.
“If you tell anyone about this, you’re fired.”
“Yeah, I know.”
And for the first time in hours, Jo saw an actual genuine smile on Brad’s face. It was weak, sure, and it was over as soon as it started, but regardless, it was still a smile.
“That’s why I like you.”