Chapter Text
Some habits are hard to break.
Cathy was incredible. She was smart, both well educated and highly intuitive. She was beautiful; dark brown eyes, beautiful black curls, and a body as close to perfection as they come. Her voice was raspy and calming, both when she would sing and when she spoke.
But most of all she was kind. She never argued with the other queens and would defend any of them if a problem arose.
She wasn’t the most social of the queens but each and every one could spend hours with her. Discussing whatever topic they chose. She seemed to be well read in all of them. None of the other queens could understand how she knew everything, but she did.
One conversation was enough to make anyone melt.
When time was spent with her it was like the earth stopped. She would make anyone feel like it was just the two of them in the world and like nothing besides the topic at hand mattered. She was everyone’s safe haven. She was everyone’s calm from the storm.
How could anyone look at her and not fall in love?
It started quickly after they came back. They had been discussing history at the dinner table. Things that were history in their first lives. Kat had excitedly commented on how she was eager to learn everything she had missed. Cathy was also very intrigued by this.
That night, Kat went into Cathy’s room and they debated the best way to begin their studies. They decided to learn things by area instead of by era. They would refresh their memory of British history from before their first existence, go through their original lives, and then move on from there.
They made plans for the next day to go to the library and get a few books.
They were both incredibly excited to have someone with whom they could learn. Kat was also very excited to have one of the other queens look at her as a peer.
It was something she had been struggling with the past few weeks since they had been reincarnated. She felt young. She never remembered feeling so young in her past life. According to the papers they had received upon reincarnation, she was eighteen.
She had been eighteen before.
She had felt grown. She was a married woman at eighteen. She was on trial, found guilty, executed at eighteen. She didn’t feel like a child then.
But here and now, she had been feeling that way a lot. The other queens were kind to her, but she knew, other than Anna with whom her friendship from their previous life had continued, they looked at her as a teenager. She couldn’t blame them, she was, she could feel it with every ounce in her body. She wasn’t ready.
But, this evening, the way Cathy had treated her. It was different. It was like the older woman looked at her as a smart woman, with whom she could share and learn information.
It felt good.
They started with the Norman Invasion. They would sit together in Cathy’s room and read and discuss. The older queen always had her laptop open, ready to look up anything they had a question about.
Within the first two weeks, they had caught up to where they had been in their past lives, as it had all been a review for them, it went quickly
Learning about the Tudor era was surreal.
They had lived it and it wasn’t quite like history books had made it sound.
Kat felt conflicted the whole time while reading it. It wasn’t what she remembered, but she could picture it perfectly. It felt as if she were reading inaccuracies that weren’t exactly wrong. She couldn’t put her finger on it.
“Cathy, does this all feel off to you?”
Cathy set the book on her lap. She looked at Kat with those gorgeous dark brown eyes, Kat felt like she was the only person in the world.
“What do you mean, Kat?”
“Like I don’t know how to put it into words, it just doesn’t feel right.”
Cathy shrugged, “It’s just different I guess. We aren’t really meant to be reading about ourselves in a history book.”
“We haven’t even gotten to me yet,” Kat replied.
Cathy shook her head, “No, but it’s people we know. Places we visited. Events with which we are familiar. It’s a lot to take in. I get it.”
That night Kat went to bed, she could stop her mind from racing. Her thoughts were consumed by the other people in the history books who never got a second chance.
Or what if they did, and felt the same? Or if they did, and didn’t know?
Her heart started racing, the room felt tight. Her chest felt tight. Her mind couldn’t stop.
Would another body, 500 years from now be in the same position. Reading about Katherine Howard of the sixteenth century and of Katherine Howard of the twenty-first century. Would this Katherine Howard do better than the first?
She wants to go to Cathy’s room, but she is sure that would be too forward. They aren’t ready for that yet.
She falls into a fitful sleep.
The next morning, thoughts weigh heavily on her. They had only read part way through Anne last night, before heading off the bed. She didn’t think they’d get to her today.
Part of her wanted to sneak a peek, read ahead a bit. She wanted to know what history said about her. But, would Cathy find her impatience to be immature? Wouldn’t that be a turn off? Their budding relationship made her so happy, she couldn’t risk it.
Before breakfast, Kat got ready. She always wanted to look perfect in front of the other queens. She wanted to prove that she was put together. She wanted to look good, keep Cathy’s eyes on her.
She put on a cropped top and skirt set. It was sexy, yet playful. Trying, but not trying too hard. She pulled her hair half up, like she usually did. Then she began applying her makeup.
She wished she had Cathy’s natural beauty. The woman rolled out of bed looking perfect. Her curls were always in place, her skin flawless. Her voice, always with that deep, raspy tone. It made Kat melt just thinking about it. She had never met anyone so perfect in either of her lives.
She checked herself out one last time, fixing her skirt, heading down to breakfast.
She was the second to the last to arrive, Anna always overslept and missed breakfast. Anna was the closest to Kat’s age, but despite being six years older, Kat often thought how much more immature Anna was.
She liked Anna, really she did. They had been friends in their first lives. Dancing together, giving each other gifts. They should be friends now, but Anna was more interested in partying, sleeping in late, and acting way younger than Kat would. Kat liked reading, spending time with the older queens (mostly Cathy).
She sort of felt like the other three refused to accept her as an adult. Jane and Catherine would often change topics of conversation when she walked in. They wouldn’t let her help with cooking or doing other things around the house. Anne constantly teased her. Which was what happened when she walked into the kitchen.
“Baby cousin! Who are you all dressed up for?” Anne commented.
Kat felt herself turn red. The other queens looked up at her.
“I...I just liked the outfit.” She replied, feeling nervous.
Cathy smiled at her, “you look very nice, Kat.”
They had a nice breakfast, everyone got along well. She excused herself and went to straighten up her room. She had to prove how neat she was, how capable of doing domestic activities. She was an adult who could take care of a household, she didn’t understand why the older women didn’t notice.
She was heading downstairs to take out the rubbish from her room. She stopped when she heard voices.
“I am a little worried about her, to be honest.”
Her ears pricked up. Who was causing her so much worry.
“I understand what you mean, Catherine. I am afraid people are going to get the wrong idea about her, I don’t want to sound like I am shaming her in any way, but the short dresses, tiny tops. I am so afraid someone is going to take advantage of her.” Jane replied.
Kat was sure they were talking about her, she didn’t like it.
“Again. Ever since Anna told us about what happened the first time, I’ve been worried. I know she had a bad upbringing. I wish she would…”
Kat didn’t want to hear another word. She turned on her heel and headed back up to her room. She threw herself on her bed.
Why did they talk about her in such a patronizing way? It was her body she could dress however she wanted. People weren’t going to get the wrong idea, Cathy was going to see her and keep falling in love. That was what she wanted.
She was extremely mad at Anna for talking about her behind her back. She wanted to storm in there and yell, but that would just prove how immature she was.
Instead she busied herself playing on her laptop.
A bit later, she heard a knock on the door, expecting it to be Cathy, she posed herself on the bed.
“Come on in,” she called out, flirty.
The door creaked and in walked Anna.
Kat hurried into a more relaxed position. Blushing.
“Hey, Kätzchen, do you want to go to the park in a little bit?” Anna asked, sweetly.
What did Anna expect? For her to go to the park and play on the swings? She was pretty convinced that it sounded like an Anna plan. Anna always wanted to do stupid childish things. Kat was a stupid child.
“No thank you,” she replied, her tone cold.
“Okay, if you change your mind, let me know. I am not leaving for at least half an hour, I think some sunshine will do you good.”
Anna turned to walk out.
Before she got fully out the door, Kat called out, “Anna!”
“Yes, Kätzchen?” She said, sweetly.
Kat felt her heart drop. She was still angry, but it was turning into hurt. Anna was looking at her in the sweetest way. She couldn’t be mad, she couldn’t yell. She wanted to, but now she wanted to cry. She couldn’t cry. Not in front of Anna. Not in front of any of the queens. Not even alone. Babies cried, she wasn’t a baby.
“Why were you talking about me? I mean, with Catherine and Jane. I overheard them.”
“They were worried about you. They had questions. It wasn’t gossipy, I just told them what I knew. We all care about you a lot. I hope you know that. We are all here for you, whenever you want to talk.”
Kat felt uncomfortable. This had been a mistake, she wanted this conversation to be over. It was too much. She was simultaneously confused by Anna’s comment, she wasn’t sure what she meant, but left feeling exposed. Bare for all to see.
She felt walls go up, her suit of armor around her body. She didn’t want to fight.
“It’s fine. I just want some alone time.”
Anna left, looking sad.
She said she wanted to be left alone.
Maybe not alone…
Cathy would do the trick. She wouldn’t look at her like she knew all her secrets, although she knew she must have.
Once Anna was out of the hallway, Kat headed across to Cathy’s room. She knocked, and waited to be invited in.
Cathy was at her desk, coffee in one hand, a pen in the other.
“Hey, can I hang out here for a bit? I promise I will be quiet.”
“Of course, Kat. Make yourself at home. I’ll be done in a few minutes, would you like to maybe grab lunch and then we can visit our studies?”
A smile spread across Kat’s face.
A lunch date and an afternoon alone with Cathy.