Work Text:
Kelly walks into Molly's with the intention of settling into a dark corner of the bar and nursing a few drinks until he forgets why he's even shown up here in the first place. He doesn't even want to think about why he can't bear to be alone in his quiet apartment, why the white noise of the bar and people chatting is the only thing that'll make his hands stop shaking.
He settles into a seat at the mostly empty bar and watches as Herrmann slides a whiskey in front of him without having to say a word. Kelly nods his thanks and stares down at the amber liquid in the glass, swirling it around gently as his mind wanders.
Kelly thinks back to the call even though his chest begs him not to. He can feel the bruises around his ribs, his back, his arms—they throb in time with his heart, which is already starting to race again. Fuck.
He lifts the glass to his lips, gripping it so fiercely he half expects it to shatter in his hand. The burn of the liquid doesn't do much besides add to the tightness of his throat and lungs, but the warmth that travels down into his stomach at least gives him something else to focus on.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea—being here. Maybe he should have just toughed it out and let himself fall into an inevitably restless sleep, maybe he shouldn't have taken his issues past the front door of his apartment.
"Are you from here?"
Kelly's head shoots up and over to the direction of the voice. He lays his eyes upon a ridiculously good looking man with blond hair, blue eyes, and an accent which immediately catches his attention. He's sitting two chairs down the bar and looking at him curiously.
"What?" Kelly replies after a moment.
The man smiles lightly, "I asked if you were from here."
"I am." Kelly says, a soft smile of his own sliding onto his lips. "From the sounds of it you're not though."
The blond shakes his head. "Australia. What gave it away?" He asks, a twinkle in his eye.
"Call it intuition."
"So definitely not the accent then?" The man chuckles softly.
Kelly laughs a little, probably for the first time since—shit, now he's thinking about it again. "Uh, that might have helped." He says back, trying to fight off the shadow that threatens to drape itself across his raw and vulnerable shoulders.
"I'm Matt. Matt Casey." The blond introduces himself, eyeing the dark-haired man curiously.
"Kelly Severide." Kelly replies lightly.
"So, Kelly, being that you are in fact from here, maybe you can help me figure out where I'm going." Matt digs out a paper map of Chicago from his pocket and starts to unfold it.
"They don't have Google Maps in Australia?" Kelly raises an eyebrow.
Matt shoots him an amused look, picks up his drink, and moves down the bar, taking the empty seat beside Kelly so he can spread the map out on the bar top for them both to see. "Maps are more reliable, they don't run out of battery power or rely on shit cell reception."
"Fair point." Kelly raises an eyebrow, leaning over to look at the other man's map. "Okay, where are you headed?"
"I booked a room at the Holiday Inn, but I have no idea where it is, my phone is dead, and I lost my charger in the airport... so, I'm a little lost."
Kelly looks at Matt for a moment. "Which Holiday Inn?"
"There's more than one?" Matt looks at him in surprise.
Kelly laughs softly, taking another sip of whiskey, surprised to find that his chest seems to have loosened up slightly. "Yeah, there's a few."
"Shit." Matt sighs, taking a long pull of his beer, shoulders slumping resignedly.
"What kind of phone do you have?"
"iPhone." Matt raises an eyebrow, watching as Kelly downs the rest of his drink and then gets up and goes behind the bar. He crouches and digs through one of the lower shelves, pulling out a cardboard box messily marked lost & found. He digs around for a moment then pulls out a hot pink charging cable, plugging it in behind the bar and holding his hand out expectantly. Matt hands over his phone without a second thought, watching as Kelly plugs it in for him and puts the box back in its place.
"Do you work here or something?" Matt asks as Kelly comes around to the customers end of the bar and takes the seat next to him once again.
"No." Kelly shakes his head. "Friends with the owners though, we all work at the same firehouse."
"Ah, so you're a firefighter?" Matt smiles brightly. "I've never met a firefighter before."
"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Kelly asks after a moment.
Matt seems to consider it. "I guess so."
"What do you do?" Kelly inquires lightly, looking at Matt thoughtfully.
"Take a wild guess."
Kelly leans forward slightly, eyes trailing all over Matt, taking in every square inch. "Hmm… Definitely not an office job, it's gotta be something with your hands. I get the feeling you don't sit still much." Kelly pauses, smiling at the way Matt's eyes fill with an amused sparkle. "You have a healthy tan, so maybe something outdoor? Then again, you're from Australia. I'm sure you get a tan just living there."
"You're actually trying to figure it out." Matt raises an eyebrow.
Kelly chuckles softly at that. "Was I not supposed to?"
"Most people just don't bother, they try to get me to just tell them the answer."
"Where's the fun in that?" Kelly asks, giving Herrmann a small smile when he refills his glass.
"Exactly. I feel the same way. Next round's on me if you get it right."
"Let me see your hands." Kelly replies easily, taking a sip of his drink before setting it back down on the bar.
Matt looks at him in confusion but he does as instructed, reaching out his hands and letting Kelly hold them in his own. The darker-haired man turns them over, studying them carefully.
Kelly runs a thumb over Matt's palm and just under the bases of his fingers. "You do have calluses, but not so many that I feel confident enough with my first thought, which was a carpenter or handyman, maybe."
Kelly seems to think for a minute, gently releasing Matt's hands. "What do you do when you're not working?"
"That's a tricky answer."
"Does that mean your hobby is also your job?" Kelly inquires after a moment.
Matt hides a smirk behind the top of his beer bottle, before taking a long sip. "You sure you're a firefighter? Not a detective?"
"Ah, I'm getting close." Kelly rubs his hands together excitedly, a grin slipping onto his lips. "Would I think your job is cool? Or mundane?"
"I just met you, how am I supposed to know if you'd be into it?" Matt challenges, the twinkling in his eyes growing with every moment that passes.
"You're not making this easy, Matt."
Matt chuckles softly. "Who said I had to?"
"C'mon, I know you're just dying to spend all your money getting me buzzed." Kelly grins playfully.
Matt smiles widely, exhaling hard through his nose. "Fine. Want a hint?"
"Sure." Kelly nods, readjusting on the stool as he gets ready to listen closely.
"Water."
"Water?" Kelly repeats after a beat. "That's the hint?"
"Yeah. Can't say much else without giving it away."
Kelly nods, completely intrigued by the game and by Matt. He spends almost a minute in silence, fully concentrating on the riddle in his head until he grins happily. "I got it."
"Let's hear it." Matt smiles, swirling around the beer in the bottom of his bottle.
"Lifeguard." Kelly replies hopefully.
Matt shakes his head, grinning into another sip of his drink. "Wrong."
"Swimming instructor."
Matt gives him another shake of his head.
"Crocodile hunter."
The blond laughs softly. "I like the creativity, but unfortunately not."
"Is it actually guessable?"
"Maybe not as guessable as I thought, but I'll give you the win for the effort alone. Do you want to know?" Matt smiles warmly.
Kelly nods. "Well, yeah, I'm invested now."
"Professional surfer."
A surprised expression flutters across Kelly's face. "A surfer?"
"You look shocked."
"I just don't know if I get that vibe from you." Kelly shrugs, grinning a little.
"And just what kind of vibe do you get?"
"I have no idea, but it's cool." Kelly eventually responds. "Must be pretty fun."
"Yeah." Matt nods slowly, "I always loved surfing. I was on a board by the time I was six.
"Wow. So, what brings you to Chicago then? We aren't really known for our record breaking waves."
"I just needed to get away for a bit." Matt shrugs, shaking his head. "I... I don't know. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing," he motions to the folded map on the bar top, "clearly."
"Does anybody really know what they're doing?"
Matt huffs out a soft laugh. "I have no idea."
Matt's phone suddenly powers back on and it's instantly slammed with several notifications of missed calls and texts. He sighs softly and clears all the notifications before putting his phone on silent. He logs into his email and finds the confirmation email for his booking and shows Kelly the screen.
Kelly sees the address of the hotel on the email, takes a pen from behind the bar and makes a small 'x' on the map that's already covered with Matt's own notes and markings. "Here's where your Holiday Inn is," he pauses and makes another mark. "This is where you are now, at Molly's. So just drive up this way until you get to this street, and turn off there and make a left when you get here. He traces the roads with the capped end of the pen, indicating to Matt the quickest way to get to his destination.
"This is amazing, thank you." Matt says gratefully. "You're a lifesaver."
"Yeah, no problem." Kelly smiles softly.
"Are there sidewalks along the whole route?"
Kelly raises an eyebrow and looks out the window, where it's down pouring. "You're walking?"
Matt grimaces slightly. "Yeah."
"Might be better off getting a cab."
"I'll be fine, I don't mind getting a little wet, plus I have a change of clothes, it's fine."
"It'd be a twenty-five minute walk, at least." Kelly raises an eyebrow. "Let me drop you off."
"Oh, you don't need to—"
Kelly chuckles knowingly. "I know. It's really not that far out of my way."
"How do I know you're not some psychotic serial killer trying to kidnap me." Matt asks with a smile.
"How do I know you're not?" Kelly replies with a soft laugh. "You're the one that came up to me, after all"
"I guess we'll just have to trust each other." Matt says after a moment.
Kelly gets the impression that this guy won't be hard to trust. He looks at his watch and sees that it's nearing dinner time. "Have you eaten dinner yet?"
Matt shakes his head, "I was planning to grab food at the hotel or something."
"Have you ever had real Chicago deep dish pizza?"
Matt shakes his head. "If they have it at the Holiday Inn, I'll give it a try though."
"If you're up for it, I know this hole in the wall, it's kind of on the way, and they make the best pizza in the state. Best you'll ever have."
"That sounds amazing." Matt replies, grinning in anticipation. "You sure I'm not ruining your plans though?"
"I didn't have plans, besides sitting here for the next however long and drowning myself in whiskey. You’re doing future me a favour."
Matt has a somewhat unreadable expression on his face as he nods. "Anything I can do to support a local firefighter." He slings the duffel that Kelly hadn't even noticed on the floor, over his shoulder, and stuffs his map in the inner pocket of his black, bomber-style jacket.
Kelly pulls a few bills out of his pocket to cover his drink, setting them beside his empty glass, before reaching over, pulling the charger out of the outlet and handing it to Matt.
"Shouldn't this go back?" Matt asks, hesitantly taking the charger.
Kelly shakes his head. "People leave them here all the time, don't worry about it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." Kelly gets to his feet and watches as Matt tucks the charger and his phone into a side pocket on his bag and sets down money for his own drink. "You ready?"
"Yeah." Matt shrugs lightly. "You?"
"Definitely."
"Lead the way, tour guide."
—————
They've just put in their order for pizza when Matt turns his gaze to Kelly, staring at him from across the table. "So, what's your story?"
"My story?" Kelly asks, a mix of surprise and confusion in his voice.
"You seem like you've lived through some things."
Kelly ducks his head. Most people are easy to fool. Maybe they make them different in Australia, maybe this Matt guy is just perceptive. Who knows.
"I think everybody goes through stuff." Kelly replies after a moment. "I don't think my story is particularly interesting.
"Why don't you let me be the judge of that? I'll tell you about my dark shit and you can tell me about yours."
"Why?"
Matt chuckles softly at that. He leans forward a little, his crossed arms resting on the table. "Why not? We're complete strangers. We're probably never going to see each other again. Might as well get it out of our systems."
Kelly looks at him thoughtfully. "Alright, you go first. Why'd you really come to Chicago?"
Matt ducks his head for a moment then looks back up at Kelly, a sad expression in his eyes. "My mum... she uh, she shot and killed my dad a couple months ago. He wasn't really a good person, she said she killed him for—for me... I mean, it would have been great if she'd done something about him when I was a kid and he... I don't mean she should have killed him at all, I mean, fuck, he was still my dad. And now she's in prison, so I don't even have her anymore. And my career started going down the drain because I couldn't focus anymore, every competition I went to was a mess. People'd start asking about my parents, about the murder, how I was doing, and I'd get so in my head that I couldn't surf... and it just started driving me insane, so I had to get out. Now here I am, hiding from all my problems, in Chicago of all places."
"I'm so sorry." Kelly says. His voice is so genuine, so caring and gentle that Matt's chest squeezes with emotion. He's used to people treating it as some sort of juicy news story—caring more about the details of the murder, or asking if he knew it was going to happen, or if he had a hand in the planning of it. "I'm sure that turned your world upside down, I can't imagine how hard that was for you."
"It did..." Matt replies once he's sure he can speak clearly. "So, now, tell me what happened to you."
"Well." Kelly takes a deep breath, letting it out softly. "I guess the latest thing in the long line of shit that happened, would be the building that collapsed on me a few days ago. I was stuck in the basement of a three story house and it took eighteen hours for them to find me in the rubble."
"A few days ago? And you're up and walking around?"
"Yeah, a little sore but I'm fine. It was being pinned under a support beam, in the pitch black, slowly running out of air, while listening to the foundation creak around me that was the worst part."
"Shit man, that's insane. I don't know how you'd go back to work after that."
"Well, I haven't yet..." Kelly shrugs. "I'm supposed to take a couple of weeks off while my ribs heal."
"So you're on a vacation of your own, huh?" Matt replies lightly.
"I guess so." Kelly smiles, trying to ignore the feeling of the basement chill still hugging his bones. "Not really the tropical getaway that I'd like, but I'll live."
Matt smiles widely and a little bit of the chill melts away from Kelly. "You're a tropical vacation guy? I would have thought you were more the backpacking through Europe type."
"And who says I can't do both?" Kelly says easily.
Matt is about to respond but he's interrupted by the waitress putting a large deep dish pizza in the middle of their table. It's steaming beautifully, and makes both their mouths water instantly. It's the perfect food to warm themselves up from the inside out.
—————
Kelly pulls right up to the front doors of the hotel.
Matt doesn't move right away. He looks over at Kelly, like he wants to say something.
And Kelly gazes at him, silently urging him to let the words come out.
"Thanks for everything." Matt says finally, "I should uh, I should go, let you get home."
"I had fun." Kelly replies almost hopefully, watching Matt reach into the backseat and grab his duffel bag.
Fuck. He's well aware that he barely knows the guy, but he's not quite ready to part ways with him. There's something special about Matt, he just has this gut feeling.
"I hope the recovery goes well." Matt smiles brightly. Kelly wonders if he's just imagining the sadness in his eyes.
"I... thanks. Enjoy your vacation."
Kelly barely processes the passenger door opening, Matt getting out, and the door closing again behind him. Suddenly the quiet returns, overwhelms him, threatens to suffocate him. He puts the car in drive and heads in the direction of his apartment.
It's weird, how wrong it feels. He feels like he's grieving, like he's lost someone, even though he never even had Matt in the first place. He just can't shake the feeling that he wasn't supposed to go. He wasn't supposed to leave him.
The core of his entire being feels askew. He should have given Matt his number, what if he loses his charger again? Needs help finding something?
It should be slightly concerning that he pulls into his apartment's parking lot without really realizing he'd driven all the way home already, but here he is. He sits there for hell knows how long, mind lost in thought as he stares at the empty passenger seat.
"Fuck this." Kelly mutters to himself, shaking his head and driving back out of his parking space, back onto the road. He heads straight back to the hotel and parks as close to the front as he can. From there, he jogs straight into the building and right up to the front desk.
"Hi," the woman at the front desk greets him with a smile. "If you're looking for a room, I apologize but we are fully booked for tonight."
"I don't need a room." He can't help but smile back, shit, he's really doing this. "I'm looking for someone, he just came in not that long ago, he had a reservation."
"I'm sorry, sir. It's against our policy to give away guests' info." She replies apologetically.
"I don't need his info, I just... his name is Matt Casey, do you think you could phone his room and ask if he wants to see me? If he doesn't, I'll leave right away, I promise. I'm not looking to cause any trouble."
"Oh, I'm afraid I can't sir."
"You can't?" Kelly frowns. His mind is already running ahead, trying to decide if it'd be creepy for him to just wait outside until Matt comes back out.
"No, I'm sorry. There was a booking issue, Mr. Casey did have a reservation but somehow we were double booked, and unfortunately we didn't have any extra rooms. So he left shortly after he arrived, I'm afraid I have no idea where he is. Sorry, sir."
"Oh." Kelly feels his heart drop into his shoes. "I... understand. Thanks anyway." He replies, reluctantly stepping away from the desk. He heads back toward the entrance and stands outside for a minute, the cold wind and rain beating down on him relentlessly.
He doesn't care. He's slowly getting soaked through but he honestly, really doesn't care. He feels like ice inside anyways.
He eventually makes his way back to his car and spends the next little while driving down streets in the off chance that he'll see him again. But he never does, and he ends up driving back to his apartment for the second time, absolutely defeated.
Sleep doesn't come to him that night. But he tries. He tries to force out the thoughts of the basement out with thoughts of him. His bright blue eyes, his warm smile, his voice. Him.
And maybe it doesn't help him sleep, but he definitely works to distract him from the feelings of being helplessly trapped.
—————
He goes back to Molly's the next evening and the next, hoping that he'll be there. Every time the door opens, Kelly's gaze shoots over, hoping, wishing, that it'd be his face coming through the door. But it never is. It's never Matt.
On day three. After hours without a sighting, Kelly gives up and goes home. He should've known better. He shouldn't have let himself hope, or get invested—he should have just tried harder to enjoy the short amount of time he did have with him and then moved on.
Kelly wakes up from a restless doze on the couch to the sound of knocking on his front door. He's surprised to see that it's 11 PM, much too late for any casual visitors. He opens the door, ready to respond to an emergency—it wouldn't be the first time one of his neighbours asked him for help, they all know he's a firefighter.
But no, it's the blond-haired, blue-eyed Australian that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about.
"I promise I'm not a creep." Matt smiles sheepishly. "I went to that bar, hoping to see you. I got to talking with the owner and he said I just missed you and gave me your address. Is this weird? Maybe this is really weird, I can leave, just say the word and I'm gone."
"I went back." Kelly replies automatically. "I went back to the hotel and they said they overbooked and didn't have room for you so you left."
Matt's eyes widened. "You went back?"
"Half hour later."
"We..." Matt shakes his head bewilderedly. "We need to work on our timing."
"We do." Kelly nods eagerly. "Matt?"
"Yeah?"
"Is it... is it just me?"
Matt knows exactly what Kelly's talking about, he knows because he's spent the last few days with his mind full of him. "No. It's—it's not just you."
"Feel free to punch me if I'm wrong, but—" he reaches out and grabs Matt by the front of his shirt, yanking him close and kissing him. He kisses him with every ounce of everything he has left, shuddering slightly when Matt returns the gesture just as eagerly.
The quiet that's been haunting Kelly is suddenly replaced with sound. A rush of blood pounds in his ears and he can feel his heart jackhammering away in his chest. Matt's bag drops onto the floor beside him, and the front door slams closed as Kelly presses Matt up against it. It's—oh, it's—
Matt eagerly moans against his lips and the sound drives Kelly up the wall, it has his eyes rolling behind his closed lids. It's heat, it's fire, it's perfect. And he'd almost lost it.
He lifts Matt's thigh up against his hip, pressing close and feeling the blond against every square inch of himself. It's beyond intense, it barely even feels real—it's so good. There's desperation, so much desperation, and they can't even begin to get enough of each other.
Matt reaches out and starts to pull off Kelly's shirt. Kelly tries to help it along but he can't fully lift his arms without risking the searing pain of his broken ribs, so he has to pull away from the interaction and take a breather. Matt catches the multicoloured wash of bruises around his chest and does a double take.
"You really weren't kidding about a building collapsing on you, were you."
"Afraid not." Kelly replies, grunting as Matt gently helps him remove his t-shirt.
"Maybe we should—" Matt starts, his gaze travelling all over the injured areas.
"If the next word is 'stop' please don't finish that sentence." Kelly pleads, his eyes locked onto Matt's.
Matt seems to understand because next thing Kelly knows, Matt's ripping off his own shirt, revealing more of the incredibly toned body of a professional surfer.
The blond closes the small distance between them, capturing Kelly's lips in a kiss that's much softer than the first. He carefully wraps his arms around Kelly's waist, palms laying flat across his warm back. "I don't think I'd be able to stop even if I wanted to." He murmurs quietly.
"Good." Kelly sighs out in relief, tilting his head to the side as Matt starts peppering his neck and jaw with soft kisses. "Maybe we should take this to my room."
"Lead the way." Matt grins.
—————
Matt's got his head on Kelly's upper chest, where there's barely any bruising, and he's on the verge of sleep, but he can practically hear Kelly thinking and it's worrying him enough that he stays awake. He wonders if he'd come on too strong, if Kelly's regretting what they did, if he's—
"Are you going to be here in the morning?" Kelly asks softly, his voice barely a whisper.
"I was planning to be." Matt says after almost a full minute. "But if you want me to sneak out sometime in the middle of the night, I can."
"No, you don't have to go." Kelly replies, shaking his head. "I just wanted to know."
Matt smiles at that. "Maybe this is weird... but I—I couldn't stop thinking about you."
"Me neither." Kelly responds. "I thought you were gone for good."
"I thought I was too." Matt says after a second. "I tried to be."
Kelly tilts his head curiously, breathing in the heavenly smell of whatever shampoo Matt used in his hair last time he showered. "What changed your mind?"
"You looked devastated when I got out of the car. I didn't want that to be the last thing I remembered about you."
Something about the way Matt phrases his words sends a chill down Kelly's spine. Now that Matt has a better memory to look back on, does that mean he's just going to leave again? He doesn't even want to imagine having to say goodbye after what they just did, after how close they just got.
He waits until Matt's asleep and then he slides out from under him and heads into the kitchen. He fills a glass with water, sipping it slowly as he considers his situation. He'd got the extra time with Matt that he'd wanted, but at what cost?
He decides against getting back into bed with him. He's been waking up from nightmares every night since the accident, and Matt definitely doesn't need to see that. He doesn't want to give him another reason to go.
Naturally, his plans backfire. Because after thirty minutes of sitting on the countertop and staring at the floor like it's about to come up and bite him, he feels a hand settle on his knee. It startles him initially, but he immediately meets those warm, blue eyes and settles back down.
"You okay?" Matt asks curiously.
Kelly's eyes travel across his face, his genuinely concerned and unsure expression, then his gaze moves down his bare chest and torso, before sliding back up again.
"Yeah. I—yeah."
Matt raises an eyebrow. "I know bullshit when I see it. What's wrong? Did I talk in my sleep or something?"
"No. Nothing's wrong, man. I'm good." Kelly shakes his head. "I just don't sleep much these days."
"You don't sleep much?"
Kelly speaks tentatively. "Not since the accident. I didn't want to keep you up."
"I can sleep through a hurricane." Matt replies easily. "And I'm sure you need to recharge a little after all the energy you spent on me." He grins sleepily, stepping closer and leaning into Kelly's space and pressing a kiss against his lips. "At least lay down with me for a while?"
Kelly looks at the blond hesitantly. "Alright."
It's almost amusing, the way Matt takes charge and leads him into his own bedroom. Kelly lays down and Matt crawls over him and onto the empty side of the mattress. He lays on his side and props his head up on his hand as he looks at Kelly thoughtfully. "You know, I get it."
Kelly turns so he's on his stomach, head pointed towards Matt. "Get what?"
"The not sleeping." Matt says softly. The dim light coming from the street lights outside casts enough of a glow in the room that they can see each other, but it still feels easier to admit things under the cast of night. "I get it."
Kelly reaches out subconsciously, his hand drifting to Matt's hip and squeezing lightly. "Because of your parents?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry." Kelly says after a moment.
Matt reaches out and lightly trails his fingertips along Kelly's spine, looking at the dark areas that contrast with his light skin. Even when it's barely light enough to see, you can't miss the injuries. "You must be in a lot of pain."
"It's fine." Kelly responds, his eyes fluttering closed as pleasure floods through every nerve that Matt lays his hand on. "This feels good."
Matt smiles for a moment. "Yeah?"
"Mhmm." Kelly nods a little, letting out a long sigh as Matt's fingers start lightly scratching at his neck and scalp.
"Get some sleep." Matt murmurs softly, smiling as Kelly's eyes drift closed.
Kelly smirks a little. "You should too, I'm fully anticipating another round of tonights activities in the morning."
"Sounds good." Matt smiles, leaning over to press a kiss to Kelly's temple, before pulling up the covers and closing his own eyes.
—————
The air is heavy, dusty. He's trapped again, he's suffocating. He can't breathe. His lung are trying to expand, he's trying to gulp down as much oxygen as he can, but—fuck, he can't breathe. The edges of his vision start fading away and he's left with a panic in his chest that swirls this way and that, coming together in a tornado that feels like it's about to rip out his heart.
Kelly wakes with a start, sitting straight up in bed and coughing while the covers fall away from where they'd been covering his face and body. He has to consciously remind himself that he's safe, that he's not down there anymore—he has to convince himself that he didn't just relive the experience, as much as it'd felt like it. It had been so vivid, his chest had really felt like it was under that beam again; even now, it feels tight and sticky, like he's got dust stuck to the lining of his lungs.
He looks over and sees the bed is empty, making him panic for a whole other reason. Had he imagined that too? Had it really happened? The devastation he feels at the thought of his night with Matt being a complete figment of his imagination hits him hard. Harder than he's prepared for.
Fuck, he's losing his shit, isn't he?
In that moment, as he's rubbing his hands roughly over his face, Kelly starts clocking the sounds coming from outside his room. He gets up immediately, adrenaline fuelling his every movement.
It turns out that the sounds he'd heard had been the shower.
Finally, Kelly sighs out relief. He knocks on the door lightly, relishing in the sound of the Australian accent over the noisy water spray. "Come in."
"Hey," Kelly greets lightly as he steps into the bathroom.
"Good morning." Matt responds cheerfully. "Hope you don't mind I commandeered your shower."
"Not at all." Kelly says back with a chuckle. He finally allows himself to settle, to let go of the nervous energy that's ricocheting off of every surface inside his body. Kelly takes a deep breath and turns, grabbing his toothbrush. "You interested in a coffee? Or are you one of those freaks that can live without caffeine?"
He hears Matt laugh from behind the curtain and can't help but smile himself as he begins brushing his teeth.
"Give me all the caffeine. And maybe a towel, if you don't mind." Matt replies, his voice still gravelly from sleep. "I wasn't really thinking."
"No problem." Kelly says around his toothbrush, heading to the hall closet to grab a couple of towels for the bathroom.
"You can also feel free to join." Matt calls out. "Water's great."
Kelly can hear the grin behind his words and decides he doesn't even want to try to stop himself from gravitating to the warmth, to the sun, to Matt.
He finishes brushing his teeth, strips off his boxers and gets in behind the other man. His arms automatically wrap around the blond's waist, and he smiles as the man in question turns around in his grasp.
Kelly gives him a once over and stands there soaking him in. As sexy and attractive as he'd been last night, Matt Casey in the morning is also a marvellous sight to behold. It's not hard to tell that he likes being in the sun, or that he's athletic on a professional level. He's drop dead perfect, ten million times more incredible than any man Kelly's ever had the pleasure of knowing.
"I was thinking of seeing a bit of Chicago today." Matt says lightly. "Do you want to be my local tour guide and show me all the things worth checking out?"
Kelly grins brightly at the thought of getting to spend even one more minute with Matt. "I'd love to."
Kelly slides a hand into Matt's hair and gently pulls his head closer, kissing him for a long while as his hands playfully roam across his body. Matt smirks against him, his own hands on a mission to feel up just about every square inch of Kelly.
"You're not in a rush to sightsee, are you?" Kelly mumbles against Matt's lips.
Matt shakes his head eagerly. "I don't mind seeing more of your apartment first."
Kelly smiles into another kiss, shaking his head incredulously as he presses their foreheads together. "You're something else."
—————
Kelly shows him around. All the cool spots the tourists usually miss, he wants Matt to know the real Chicago, the one he grew up in, the one that means the most to him. So he spends half of the next week doing just that, and the other half? Well, that’s mostly spent in bed. The sex between them is better than Kelly’s ever had and he takes every opportunity to wholeheartedly enjoy it. They talk, too. Mostly after the sun goes down, when the world is asleep and they’re free to let go of the things they’ve been holding inside themselves.
Matt tells him how things were for him growing up, why he’s not all that broken up his father is gone, why he’s pissed that his mom had to get herself thrown in jail. He explains why he’s starting to resent surfing in competitions, why each wave takes more and more out of him, why the pressure feels like it’s going to make him explode from the inside out.
And Kelly opens up too. He tells him why he became a firefighter, why he’d always felt it was in his blood, and why he’s questioning that now more than ever. He talks about what the building collapse has really done to him, why he hasn’t turned off the bedside light since he got home, and why he sometimes wishes they’d never pulled him out of there.
They talk, they laugh, sometimes cry, and there’s times where they just hold each other in silence.
—————
"How long are you going to stay in Chicago?" He asks one evening after they get back to the apartment from an afternoon drive.
"I haven't really planned that far ahead." Matt says with a half-hearted smile.
Kelly nods, pulling a couple beers out of the fridge. He closes the distance between them, sliding the cold drinking into the other man's hand. "You can stay with me, as long as you want. You know that, right?"
"Oh, I... I don’t want to overstay my welcome." Matt replies hesitantly, shaking his head. “I probably already have."
"Not at all." Kelly says with a soft smile. "I like the company."
Matt gives him a fond look. "I guess. Maybe just a couple days."
"Good." Kelly responds happily, his eyes gleaming. He looks like he's about to say more, but they're suddenly interrupted by the ringing of Matt's phone on the kitchen counter, less than a foot away.
Matt curses softly the second he sees the caller ID. "It's the lawyer." He mutters softly.
Kelly raises an eyebrow. "Aren't you going to answer?"
Matt picks up the phone with a sigh, reluctantly pressing the answer button. "Hello?"
It's interesting to watch the variety of facial expressions that cross Matt's face throughout the call. But then, Kelly’s been fascinated by every square inch of him since they met.
"I understand." He says eventually, his voice barely audible as it comes through his tense jaw. "Alright. Fine. Bye."
Kelly reaches a hand out, sliding it around Matt's hip and ghosting up along his ribs. "You good?"
"No. No, I'm not good." Matt sighs, shaking his head. "Apparently her new boy toy paid her bail and now she's out until the trial starts. She wants me back home to support her." Matt takes a long pull of his beer and runs a hand through his hair. "So much for my vacation."
"So you are leaving?" Kelly asks quietly, his hand slipping away from Matt.
"I... yes?" Matt groans quietly. "This is all… I don’t know. But she says she needs me there."
Kelly nods. He knew this was going to happen, he knew Matt was going to leave eventually.
"Sorry, I shouldn't be unloading on you like this."
"You're fine." Kelly tries for a smile but it doesn't quite make it to his eyes. "I like hearing you talk."
Matt laughs breathlessly. "Trust me, you'd get sick of it real quick if you had to listen to me for more than a week."
"I don't think I would." Kelly replies easily. "But I wouldn't mind finding out, if… if you want."
The words hang heavy in the air as Matt stares down at his beer bottle and tries to figure out what to say to that. "Kelly..."
Kelly deflates internally. The tone of Matt's voice says more than the single word has.
Maybe he should have left things as they were, maybe he should have just let them both enjoy this for what it was. He wonders if he's ruined things, if he's pushed Matt too far, possibly scared him off for good.
He doesn't exactly regret his words. He doesn't want to watch Matt go and not make some attempt to put himself out there, or feel like he missed out on what could have been. He knows, already, that Matt Casey is something special.
"You know this..." Matt says reluctantly, motioning between them. "It's been fun, but you know this can't be anything, right?"
Kelly doesn't respond. He doesn't have it in him to agree or disagree with the words.
Matt shakes his head incredulously. "Mate, I live in Australia, and you live here. There's a million reasons why we can never..."
Kelly shrugs lightly and takes a step back. He's scared to put himself out there when it seems like Matt's already made up his mind.
"Kelly?"
"I... you're right, I guess." Kelly shrugs, feeling his thoughts being pulled in so many directions that he doesn't even really know what to say.
Matt takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression."
"What do you mean?"
"I just... I thought we were on the same page. Have fun for a few days and then go our own ways."
Kelly knows—he knows that he should have known better. He’s not sure when, but somewhere along the way, he let himself get attached. Maybe he can blame his idiotic thinking on the concussion. "Listen, message received, loud and clear. Let's just forget I ever said anything."
Matt's silent for almost a full minute before he speaks again. "I wish it could be different, it's been nice having someone to forget about the world with... but that's not how real life works."
"We can still stay friends, talk—we don't have to completely cut off contact, do we?"
Matt looks up, eyes big and blue and full of emotions that Kelly doesn't quite know how to read. "I don't know if that's a good idea."
"Why's that?" Kelly asks slowly.
"I just don't." Matt sips at his drink thoughtfully.
—————
Matt books a ticket and Kelly's crushed. He knew it was happening, he knew that their time together was coming to an end, but he's still devastated.
—————
"Are you sure you have everything?" Kelly grabs his keys and wallet, looking up when Matt comes out of his bedroom wearing one of Kelly's t-shirts.
His heart sinks but he doesn't let it show, he's determined to make it good until the very end. He wants them both to have the time they shared to look back on, he wants to have something in his life that isn't poisoned with despair or devastation. He wants it to be good.
"Nice shirt." Kelly remarks lightly.
Matt looks down at the shirt in confusion and sees the CFD logo on his chest. "Shit, sorry, I just grabbed it off the floor, thought it was mine." He explains, already moving to pull it off.
Kelly grabs the shirt at the hem and pulls it back down Matt's torso. "Keep it. Looks better on you anyway."
A shadow crosses over Matt's eyes for a moment, but they clear up a few seconds later. Seems like Kelly's not the only one struggling to find the silver lining in Matt's departure.
"Are you planning to put pants on?" Kelly raises an eyebrow, glancing down to Matt's boxers and otherwise bare legs.
"Yes." Matt smirks gently. "I think I lost them somewhere in the kitchen when we... you know."
Kelly grins, watching as Matt goes on the hunt for his pants. In the meantime, he takes a moment to regroup. He takes a deep breath, ignoring the pang against his ribs and doing his best to ignore the even deeper tension in his chest.
—————
"You really don't have to come in." Matt says quietly as they sit in the parked car. He's sorting through his paperwork and making sure he has his boarding pass and passport all sorted out, anything to keep his hands from grabbing hold of Kelly and never letting go.
"I know." Kelly shrugs.
Matt looks over at him and smiles softly.
He almost caves and writes out his number.
—————
The second Matt disappears through the departure gate, Kelly feels empty. He feels wrong. He hates the way it feels. It takes everything he has not to run after him and beg him to stay.
He sits in a chair where he is, just hoping that Matt turns around and never gets on the plane. But eventually he sees Matt's flight marked as departed on the giant screen, and Matt never comes back. He sits there for too long, watching the crowds around him for too long, just hoping, wishing, he could get one more glance of Matt.
Everything is numb as he gets into his car and drives home. It doesn't really hit him at first, how real it is. Then he walks into his empty, silent, dark apartment, and it finally sinks in.
Matt's gone.
—————
Matt unpacks in a daze. His phone is vibrating on the bed behind him and he doesn't need to look over to know that it's the lawyer calling again.
He carefully folds up the t-shirt. Kelly's t-shirt. Runs a thumb over the emblem on the front and sighs softly. A wash of something—maybe it's regret, sadness, longing—washes over him. It had been nice not to Matthew Casey, Professional Surfer and Son of a Murderer, for a while.
He smiles a little as he thinks back to waking up with an arm securely wrapped around him. Waking up safely, without worries. He'd been happy—only for a short, fleeting time, but he'd actually been happy.
Matt finishes putting away his freshly washed clothes and then starts to empty out the rest of his suitcase.
He looks over curiously when he sees an unfamiliar paper fall out of a side pocket. He instantly reaches for it, picking it up carefully.
It's a page that appears to have been ripped from a small notepad, a scrawled message written on it hastily.
In case you do want a friend.
312-266-2447
—Kelly
Matt stares at the piece of paper for far too long, reading and rereading the short message. He sits down on the edge of his mattress heavily, taking in a deep breath. He thought leaving would make it easier. Easier to deny the way Kelly makes him feel, easier to move on, easier to to stop thinking about him.
Having the power and permission to reach out suddenly fills him with nervous energy. He could have what Kelly was offering, he could have him in his life, and all it would take is putting that number into his phone.
He takes a deep breath and pulls open his nightstand drawer, carefully putting the note inside for safe keeping while he considers his options.
He finishes unpacking his suitcase and heads into the shower, quietly contemplating what it would mean if he reached out to the other man. He misses him. He misses Kelly more than he ever expected to.
He feels empty without his presence, broken in the face of the loneliness that now surrounds him. It hits him more than ever, just how alone he is here. His friends, or who he'd thought had been his friends, haven't reached out since before he even left. He hadn't realized just how one-sided things had been with them until he'd stopped putting in the effort to have relationships with them. He feels like maybe they'd just been putting up with him, just acting like they cared, when in reality they didn't need or want him in their life.
He thinks back to how things had been with Kelly. Even in their short time, Kelly had made the effort to get to know him, to make him feel valued, like he wasn't just another person in what he had to assume was a long line of lucky guests in his bed. He genuinely seemed interested in him, in his interests, in his story—it wasn't just sex, it was... it was really something more.
As he showers, he doesn't bother trying to stop his brain from wishing that those strong arms would wrap around him from behind. He imagines those soft kisses along his hairline, the water running across them both as they slide against each other, skin on skin.
His eyes flutter open in time to see the walls of his small, dingy shower reflecting the coldness inside his own chest.
—————
Days go by without any real indication that they're passing. Kelly stays in bed most of the time, maybe he's being ridiculous and emotional, but he's supposed to be taking it easy anyway. No one is allowed to judge him.
He runs through his time with Matt a hundred times. He thinks about how nice it was to have a second, warm body in bed next to him. How he hasn't slept through the night again since he had Matt in his arms.
It feels exponentially wrong not to have him here. It feels like in some parallel universe, they've known each other for years. Maybe it's insane, maybe he's finally losing it. Maybe he's hyper fixating on this guy because he showed up in the middle of him dealing with the accident, maybe his brain had been trying to focus on something else. Maybe he's finally hit the end of his rope and Matt was his way of coping with the loss.
—————
When Matt shows up to his mother's house, he's a mess of emotions. It’s probably because he didn't sleep a wink during the long flight home, then again, it could also be because he's standing in the same room as a murderer... or maybe it has something to do with the stain in the carpet that his mother couldn't quite get all the way out. The stain that tells the whole story of why they're here in the first place.
He barely makes it through the visit. He knows it's his mother, he knows he should love her no matter what, but he's not sure if he can do much more of this.
-
The days turn into weeks and Kelly finally gets back to work. Everyone notices a difference in him but they all think it's because of the collapse. They all knew what it had done to Kelly. They all saw his pale, shaking, battered body when they finally got him out. And yeah, maybe the accident did change him, but it wasn't the only thing.
—————
The trial goes as expected.
His dad is dead.
His mom is in jail with a life sentence.
His sister is staying as far away from everything as she can.
All he's got left is surfing, and the phone number in his nightstand drawer.
It's getting harder and harder to resist calling.
—————
Kelly can't stop himself anymore. He promised himself he wouldn't do it, but he grabs his laptop and looks up Matt's name, accompanied by the words, 'surfer' and 'Australia'.
It's too easy. Matt's right up top on the search results. Seeing his picture makes Kelly let out a shaky breath and causes his stomach to flutter. He finds social media accounts, news articles about surfing, a few about his parents, which he dutifully ignores, and then he stumbles across videos.
At first it feels like an invasion of privacy, but it's all on the internet for anyone to see. It's public content, and he's a public citizen, so he dives in and absorbs everything he can.
He spends way too long watching videos of Matt surfing. Most of the competitions he was in were filmed and it's not hard to recognize that beach blond hair or that ridiculously hot body, even though he does the world a disservice and covers it with a wetsuit.
Watching him surf is mesmerizingly beautiful. He doesn't really know a lot about the sport, but from what he gathers, Matt's really good at it. The board always looks like it's just an extension of his body, a second nature for him.
It turns into somewhat of a habit. He'll put one of Matt's videos on after a nightmare, when he's trying to sleep, when he's cooking in the kitchen, when he's working out or doing his PT. It fills his apartment with sound even when it's at its quietest, when his mind is at its most vulnerable. It distracts him, makes him think of the short, but amazing time they had together.
—————
Matt sits on the sandy beach, listening to the waves crash one after another. Being here, where the only thing that surrounds him is water and sun and sand, is where Matt feels the most at home. It always has been.
He finds himself beginning to wonder if Kelly would enjoy it here. If Kelly would like just sitting here with him, enjoying the quiet and the peace that Matt always gets from being here.
Matt thinks he would.
He inhales slowly, letting the warm salty air seep into his lungs as he closes his eyes.
—————
Three months to the day that he met Matt, Kelly finds himself at the pizza place he'd taken him to. He sits at the same table, is about to get the exact same pizza and is surprised when the same waitress takes his order.
"Is your friend coming too?" She smiles brightly. Of course she'd remember him, how could anyone forget Matt?
Kelly shakes his head sadly, shooting her a weak smile. "Afraid not."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I'll get your order started for you then." She squeezes his shoulder gently and walks off.
It hits him where it hurts. A wound that he thought was healing, but it's still wide open.
He shouldn't be surprised that Matt never called him. He'd made his feelings pretty clear.
—————
Matt groans as he comes to.
His eyes feel heavy, his head screams with every beep of the machine next to him, and he just wants to go back to sleep.
"Hello, Mr. Casey." A female voice calls out to him. "Are you with us?"
"What?" Matt frowns lightly, trying his best to crack open his eyes, but the bright lights above him aren't doing him any favours.
"There you are. I'm Dr. Murphy." The woman says cheerfully. "Do you know where you are?"
"Hospital?" Matt asks in confusion, wincing as he tries to readjust slightly.
"Yes. You're in the hospital, you had an accident. Do you remember anything?"
Matt tries to think about it but his head feels like it's full of rocks and he gives up almost immediately. "No."
"That's okay. Get a little more rest, and I'll check back in later."
—————
Kelly feels it deep in his chest. He doesn't know what it is, but he knows that something's wrong.
—————
When Matt wakes again, he's a lot more aware of his surroundings and the lights are quite a bit dimmer. He's met with an empty room and a pain in his body that has him setting his jaw and grimacing.
He's scared and he wants to call, now more than ever. He wants to feel safe, he wants someone to care about him, he wants to call Kelly.
—————
Kelly slams his car door behind him as he gets out and starts the walk to his building. He's angry. Angry with Boden, angry with Squad, angry with fires in general, and angry with himself. It's not working. Him and 51, it's just... it's not working. It hasn't been the same since Andy died and he's not sure that it ever will be again.
He lets himself into his apartment, sighing as he closes the door behind him and drops his keys into the bowl by the door.
He immediately heads for the shower, eager to wash the last twenty-four hours off himself. He thinks about Matt a little less frequently, but he's still a constant in Kelly's mind. Where he is, how he's doing, what he's doing—Kelly can't stop those little fleeting thoughts from crossing his brain, he doesn't even want to. He's gotten to the point where he knows Matt won't ever reach out; what they had was contained to the small amount of time they had together, and that's okay. Really. He's come to peace with that.
His phone rings as he's getting dressed and he picks it up without a second thought.
"Hello?"
"Kelly?"
The voice is so familiar it takes him by surprise.
"Matt?"
"Yeah..." Matt replies softly. "Is it... is it too late?"
"Too late for what?" Kelly finds himself asking.
Matt's voice is shaky as he replies. "For me to call."
"Of course not." Kelly replies lightly. He's not sure if Matt is talking about the time difference or if he's asking because it's four months for him to call, but the answer is the same. "What's up?"
"I miss you. So much." Matt blurts out quickly. Maybe he shouldn't have picked up the phone just after the nurse had given him painkillers.
"I miss you too, Matt." Kelly replies softly. "I... I think about you all the time."
"Yeah. Same. I mean, I think about you, not me." They both laugh quietly, and a comfortable silence envelops the conversation for a few easy seconds. "I didn't really expect to meet anyone halfway across the world when I came to the U.S."
"I'm glad you did. And I'm glad you called."
"You are?" Matt asks after a beat, his own insecurity flooding into his voice, "I mean, I thought maybe you'd moved on, maybe didn't want anything to do with me."
"I've been trying to move on, but it hasn't been easy. I just... we fit, you know?"
Matt smiles, staring up at the ceiling as his eyes water slightly. "Yeah, I know."
"You doing okay?" Kelly asks after an emotionally charged moment.
"Been having a rough week." Matt admits. It's easy, talking to Kelly—so easy that he hates himself for not calling sooner. He can’t even remember why he thought this was a bad idea.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Did something happen?" Kelly replies after a moment.
Matt scratches the side of his head and runs a hand along the stubble that grows long his jaw. "I had an accident. I'm in the hospital."
"Wait, what? An Accident? Are you okay?" Kelly speaks urgently, his voice conveying his worry.
Matt smiles a little despite the heaviness of the moment. Fuck, it feels good. It feels so incredible to have someone genuinely care, he kind of wants to cry. "I'm okay, yeah. Or I will be in a couple months at least."
"A couple months? What happened?"
"I was dropped into a thirty foot wave and wiped out pretty hard. I broke my arm and the doctor said I have a concussion too, but I'll be fine."
Kelly shakes his head incredulously. "I'm so sorry, this on top of everything... can't be fun. What does this mean for your surfing?"
"It means I'm out of the game for probably three months." Matt explains, partially wondering why he doesn't feel sadder about it.
"That blows. I'm sorry, man." Kelly responds, and there's that genuine care that lines his voice, a warmth that makes Matt's head spin. "Is there... is there anything I can do? I know I can't fix your arm, but—"
"Kelly." Matt smiles contently. "How are you so perfect?"
"What?" Kelly asks, confusion seeping into his voice.
"It took me four months to call and you're not even mad, and you're offering to help me, which for the record was not why I called. You're just amazing."
Kelly laughs softly, the sound filling Matt with an ease he hasn't had since before he'd woken up in the hospital. "I don't think that's true, but thank you."
"No problem." Matt smiles, looking up when a nurse comes in and gives him a look. "Hey, listen, I think I have to go, but can I call again soon?"
"I'd really like that." Kelly says, his tone conveying the smile behind his words. "I'm here if you need anything."
Matt falls asleep that night feeling better than he has in a while.
—————
They talk on the phone pretty much every day, except for times when they just can’t quite line up the time difference in their favour. It’s nice for them, having that connection and being able to talk to each other about things that they can’t share with anyone else.
Sometimes Kelly lays wide awake, his heart racing as the throes of a nightmare surround his entire being, and Matt’s voice on the other end is the only thing that can make him feel whole again. And then there are the times where Matt needs the reassurance, when Kelly is the only one who can make Matt feel safe in a place where he feels so alone.
They quickly form this unbreakable bond, one that’s going to take more than a fifteen hour flight to break.
—————
"Hey, you."
The familiar voice is music to Kelly's ears. "Hey, Matt."
"What’s up?”
"I just got myself suspended for two weeks." Kelly sighs softly. "How's your day so far?"
"Hold on." Matt frowns in concern. "You're suspended?"
"Yeah. I don't really want to talk about it right now." Kelly says, letting his head fall back against the headrest in his car. "Tell me about you."
"Well, honestly, I'm still in bed, I haven't gotten up yet today. Everything hurts."
"I wish I could help." Kelly replies softly.
"Man, what I'd give to be able to see you again." Matt mumbles softly, surprising himself with the admission. "I feel like I've been a mess since I left Chicago."
"Well, actually I’ve been thinking… How busy are you going to be for the next couple months while you're out of commission?"
"Just PT, rest... I don't know, I haven't thought about it a whole lot."
"You can do that anywhere, right?"
"I guess." Matt shrugs lightly, a smile creeping onto his face.
Kelly smiles a little. "So, if I bought you a plane ticket...?"
"Wait, wait." Matt's eyes widen and his smile grows exponentially. "You want to buy me a plane ticket?"
"I hate not being able to help you, I hate that you're alone over there, I just want to be able to take care of you, even if it's just as a friend. But I can't leave work, so that means you'd need to come here. I have a spare room, or you can sleep in mine, either way... my life is better when you're in it, and I'd love to see you again. I'd get it, obviously, if you're not feeling up to travelling, or if—"
"I'd really like to come, if you're serious." Matt interrupts, beaming brightly as he thinks about it.
"I've never been more serious." Kelly laughs softly. "How soon can you be ready to leave?"
—————
A few days later, Kelly tries to push down his excitement as he walks up to the arrival gate at the airport. Matt had texted him a picture through the window just before the plane departed which made it start feeling more real than ever.
He stands there thrumming in anticipation, eyes locked on the group of people that start flooding through the glass doors. He anxiously looks between each face, his heart racing in his chest when his gaze lands on a very familiar Australian Surfer. His arm is in a sling and he's struggling to carry his backpack and carry-on single-handedly, but fuck, it's really him.
Kelly races over as fast as he safely can, coming up to Matt just as the blond accidentally drops his backpack on the floor, cursing under his breath.
"Mind if I give you a hand with that?" Kelly asks, grinning from ear to ear.
Matt aborts his attempt to pick up the bag, instead, he whips up and stares at Kelly. All in a split second, he drops his carry-on to the floor too, and wraps his arm around Kelly, pulling him in a tight hug.
"I missed you." Kelly murmurs.
"Missed you, too." Matt smiles, leaning up for a desperate kiss. They keep it as PG as they can, fully aware that they're in a busy airport packed full of people. But it's difficult to separate from each other after all the time they've spent wishing they were together. Eventually though, they do pull apart and Kelly looks at him with a bright glint in his eye. "Ready to come home?"
Matt's grin expands impossibly. "Definitely."
—————
Matt's so tired that he falls asleep in the car, and as much as Kelly doesn't want to wake him, he knows he'll sleep better in bed.
Kelly carries his bags into the apartment and smiles when Matt follows along and gravitates into his arms the second the door is closed behind them. Here, now, they can finally take the time to simply be.
It's easy—holding Matt. He fits in his arms better than any other person has before, and he has no desire to let go now that he's so aware of it.
"Want to go to bed?"
Matt shakes his head lightly, breathing in as much of Kelly's warm, comforting scent as he can. It'd washed out of that t-shirt much too quickly. "I need a shower first."
"That's fine." Kelly says brightly. "I'll grab you a towel."
"You going to join me?" Matt says with a smirk.
Kelly laughs quietly. "Not even here for five minutes and you're already trying to get me out of my clothes?”
"Can you blame me?" Matt responds with a tilt of his head.
Kelly smiles. "I'll join you, but only so I can hold you up. You look like you're about to pass out."
"I can't sleep on planes." Matt shrugs lightly. “Too loud”
"So when is the last time you've slept?" Kelly asks curiously, not letting go of Matt as he takes them both down the hall. He grabs a couple of towels from the closet on the way and steers them into the bathroom.
"It's been a while." Matt yawns, scrubbing a hand across his face.
Kelly kisses his forehead and starts helping the blond undress. The broken arm proves interesting to work around, but eventually they manage to get in the shower, safe and sound. Matt doesn't bother to suppress the groan that comes out of him when the warm water starts pelting onto his back.
"I missed your shower." Matt mumbles softly, leaning against the cool tile so he doesn't need to support his own body weight quite so much.
Kelly laughs softly. "Yeah, my incredible water pressure is the real reason you came back, isn't it." He teases.
"You got it." Matt grins, rolling his eyes a little.
Kelly watches as a couple of different expressions flit across Matt's face, followed by an almost inaudible groan as he reaches for his shoulder. "Are you in pain?"
Matt looks up at him and half-heartedly shrugs, which proves to be the wrong move because his eyes widen as another wash of pain rushes through him. "I'm fine."
Kelly can see him pale slightly beneath the tan, so he reaches out and pulls him in. "Hey, you don't have to pretend you're good if you're not. Do we need to get you out?"
Matt shakes his head. "I'll be fine in a minute, nothing a couple of painkillers can't handle." He grits out, sighing shakily.
Kelly looks a little worried, but mostly amused. Looks like Kelly's not the only one who likes toughing it out. "Alright," he says, reaching for the shampoo. "Let me do the hard parts and then we'll get you to bed."
"C'mon, I'm fine. I can wash my own hair and stuff."
"Do you not want me to?" Kelly asks cautiously. "Am I being too much?"
"You're fine." Matt smiles, reaching out and grabbing Kelly's hand. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to go through all this work for me."
"Okay, first of all, getting to feel you up under the pretense of getting clean is not at all what I consider work. And second, I happen to care about you, so unless you're not comfortable with me doing it, then I'd appreciate it if you'd let me."
Matt leans forward and kisses Kelly softly. "Alright, you win."
Kelly smiles as he squeezes some shampoo onto his hand and starts working it into Matt's hair. The man moans softly as talented fingers gently massage his scalp and neck, relaxing him even more than he thought possible.
By the time Kelly finishes and gets him out of the shower, he's practically asleep on his feet, so Kelly dries him off and has him sit on the closed toilet seat while he hunts down something for him to wear. Going through Matt's bag seems like a hassle, and he doesn't want to invade his privacy, so Kelly grabs him something of his own.
Matt barely seems to notice as Kelly helps him into the sweats and the t-shirt, but once on, Matt smiles brightly. "Thanks."
"No problem," Kelly grins, dressing himself in a somewhat similar outfit. "Are you hungry?"
Matt sighs as he realizes he can't recall the last time he ate. "Not really. But I do have to take my painkillers with food."
Kelly nods in understanding, "I'll make something quick and easy."
Matt follows Kelly to the kitchen, where he starts pulling out ingredients for a sandwich, which is actually sounding really good to Matt right now. "Have I ever told you that you're the best?" Matt smiles sleepily, lifting himself up onto the counter top.
"You've implied it." Kelly replies, an amused smirk on his face. "So, uh—so we need to figure out where you're sleeping."
"We do?"
"I completely get it if you want to sleep in the guest room, you know, have your own space and all that, but if you do want to sleep in my room you're more than welcome."
"I didn't travel almost fifteen thousand kilometers just to sleep in your guest room." Matt says softly, shaking his head.
Kelly's eyes light up and he laughs softly. "Alright."
—————
After they get ready for bed, there's these few awkward moments where neither one of them are quite sure how to proceed. It takes Kelly gently tugging him along toward the bed for things to get moving, and from there, it all goes naturally. Matt settles into bed right next to Kelly, resting his head on his chest as he takes in a deep breath.
"I missed this." Kelly whispers after a few minutes, running his hand along Matt’s back.
"Me too. Thanks for getting me here."
Kelly presses a kiss to the top of Matt's head. "Always."
—————
"Are we really doing this?" Matt asks, a delighted grin on his face as he hugs Kelly from behind, tipping his forehead against the back of Kelly's head and pressing a kiss into his hair.
"We are." Kelly nods, turning around in Matt's arms and pulling him into a content kiss.
They've had two and a half months together in Chicago, which some people are telling them is too short a time to make a decision like this, but it didn’t take either of them long to know what they wanted. And now, they're packing up. Those few months that they were apart were horrible for them both, and after the first week of them being back together, they knew they weren't doing it again. So they made plans; it was easy, dreaming, looking up the possibilities, trying to figure out how they were going to make it work. They'd both need to make sacrifices, but that was never going to hold them back.
So, they're headed to California. Kelly's transferring to the LAFD, and Matt's got offered a job as a surfing instructor on the coast. They're taking a tour of a little rundown house on the beach that they're already pretty sure they're going to buy, and they already have plans on how they're going to renovate and make it theirs.
Maybe it's sudden, maybe they haven't thought about it long enough, but maybe that's okay. They've both lived enough to know that life isn't long. They understand that when you have something good, you don't wait until you lose it.
—————
Eight months later, they're sitting next to each other on their fixed up porch, sipping their beer, and listening to the waves crash onto the shore. The sun is just setting, casting a deep orange hue over the sky that reflects onto the water. It's quiet, and neither of them have ever been more at peace than they have been lately. There's something about the way that the salty air and the warmth and the sun just draws them together.
Kelly loves working with the LAFD more than he could have hoped. Sure, he misses the people from 51, but it was time to move on and he's found such an incredible family with his new firehouse that he hardly has time to think about what he left behind. It's easier to focus on where he is now, what he has now. He feels nothing but happiness every time he pulls into their driveway after a shift, every time he opens the door and gets met with a drawn out kiss and a fresh cup of coffee. Matt always leaves a little later on the mornings that Kelly comes home from work, just so he can be there to welcome him back.
Matt finds he doesn't miss being a professional surfer all that much. Now that he doesn’t have all the pressure to win on his back, he can actually enjoy himself in the waves again. He signs up for a few local competitions just for fun, and if he does one when Kelly’s not on shift, he can rely on him to be standing on the beach, cheering him on, watching him with a proud glint in his eyes and an excited smile on his face. And he never fails to tackle Matt in a hug the second he gets back into shore.
Moving had been a big change. It's taken them both time to adjust, and it hasn't always been a smooth transition, but it's been worth it in so many ways. Their house has turned into a home, they pretty much have their routine down to a well practiced art, and lately, Kelly's been thinking about just how good a ring would look on Matt's finger.
Sand always seems to find its way onto the floors in their home, no matter how much they try to keep things clean. Kelly will often pretend to be annoyed about it, but only so he gets to see the amused smile on Matt’s face when he says, “we live on a fucking beach, mate.”
Then there’s the creaky floorboards that they’ve somehow memorized and always manage to avoid. The curtain on the left side of their bedroom that always stays open because it always catches the first glowing orange wash of the sunrise in the morning. The couch on the porch that they usually end up tangled up on most evenings, while the sounds of the ocean push away the memories that used to keep them up at night.
There’s also some things that had been unexpected. Kelly didn’t realize his heart would race every time they went to a call at the beach Matt works at, and Matt quickly finds he has the same worries every time Kelly goes to work. It’s one of the more difficult things about being so wrapped up in each other, the danger that they could lose one another in the blink of an eye, but they’ve both learned to take deep breaths and let come what may.
They don't dwell on the what-ifs, they focus on the here and now, the moments they do have. Because those moments? They're everything.
Matt leans into Kelly as the sun sets behind the horizon, smiling over at him happily. “I love you.”
Kelly gazes over at Matt, so relaxed, so at home, so perfectly happy. “I love you, too.”