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It starts in the middle of the spring of 2015, the leaves dancing with the wind and Bangkok glowing against the radiance of the sun. Decorated in red, the sidewalks amidst the lively streets have carts full of roses and sunflowers. Today was Valentine’s Day and Bangkok sure did not miss the memo. Along the busy streets of the city, Tay walks and captures the beauty of spring - of Bangkok when love is celebrated in every corner. With him was New, a person whom he just met a year ago, but has easily made his way into his life, the space he occupies growing larger as time goes by. Their footsteps echo each other’s as they make their way to the large stall just beside the GMM building, flowers of different kinds and colors peeking behind its walls.
“Sunflowers,” Tay utters. “Let’s buy sunflowers.”
New shifts his eyes to look at Tay, his eyebrows furrowing and a loud ‘tsk!’ coming out of his mouth.
“I already told you, we should buy roses,” he replies. “It’s Valentine’s day and it’s just fitting that we buy roses.”
For a few minutes, the two continue to bicker, unable to reach a final decision.
“Roses!”
“No, sunflowers! Roses are too cliché!”
“How about you just buy both?” a familiar voice says from behind as the chimes signal that someone has just walked in.
“Off… what are you doing here?” Tay asks as he smiles at his friend wearing a blinding red shirt, his hair slicked back looking like it was licked by some animal.
“This shop is my cousin’s,” he replies as he waves at the man behind the counter. “I came to help him out.”
“They’ve been at it for a whole five minutes,” the man says, a small chuckle escaping from his lips as he scratches his head to signal that Tay and New’s bickering has indeed been giving him a headache.
“Okay, you two sit down. I’ll figure this out myself!” Off says as he walks to the counter. He disappears for a moment and then he pops up from behind the counter with his black apron all ready to cut and arrange flowers. “Who is this for anyway?”
“Alice,” New answers. “We wanted to give her a gift for helping us out with some stuff.”
“What? Are you serious? That means all your arguing is useless.” Off says, softly removing his hands from the bouquet he was arranging.
Tay and New, both looking all confused and curious, ask in chorus, “What do you mean?”
Off laughs… and laughs. He wipes away a tear that has escaped from his eye and says, “She’s literally allergic to flowers. Do you guys want her to end up in a hospital?”
Both absolutely stunned, Tay and New shift their gazes from Off to look at each other. Tay’s face is painted with shock and New looks like he’s just seen a ghost. But after a while, after realizing how futile their arguments were, they both burst into laughter. Their laughs echoed through the walls and Off couldn’t help but smile at them. He’s sure the two can’t see it yet, but much like the flowers in the shop, he sees a love that has bloomed in the spring, a love that will bloom for the seasons to come.
“He doesn't see it, does he?” the shop owner says, eyes glued to the boy with the beautiful tan skin, his eyes sparkling at the sight of the boy beside him.
Off just shrugs and says, “They don’t. They both still don’t.”
In the summer of 2017, when the sun shone its brightest and the birds flew across the turquoise sea, the beautiful city of Phuket witnessed two souls that have found happiness in each other. Amongst the lively crowd in Old Town Phuket, Tay and New walk side by side, fingers touching after each step - some kind of electric feeling travelling deep in their bones. It has been 3 years since they met in one of the conference rooms in the GMM building, but the feeling of only having met each other never went away.
Off knows, of course he knows. He bore witness to how this love bloomed with the seasons. He remembers it all - how Tay’s eyes would sparkle, how he would laugh even if the joke is not funny, how he would look at New to see if he was laughing too. And as they walk in the busy streets of Old Town, the lights illuminating the beautiful details of its architecture, Off witnesses it happen again.
“P’Phuket,” Tay says while laughing. Off, New, and Gun were all caught off guard, confused as to what was going on in their friend’s head.
Gun takes a spoonful of his ice cream and eats it while he says, “Wah d’ya mehn?”
Off laughs and adds, “He means, ‘What do you mean?’” Gun smiles at him and continues munching on his strawberry ice cream. The sun was about to set yet the heat in Old Town feels like it was still the middle of the day.
“We should call it P’Phuket,” Tay smiles at his friends, almost sounding too excited for what he’s about to say. “You know… because we’re in Old Town.”
It was a bad joke, so bad that Off, New, and Gun couldn’t help but laugh at how unfunny it was. Gun almost chokes on his ice cream, which is why Off’s hand immediately flies to rub his back. They laughed loudly until their cheeks were wet, earning several gazes from the locals passing by. It is also at this moment that Off sees it again, and Gun also does for the first time. Miles away from where they stood, the sun sets - kissing the horizon and painting the sky in shades of orange and yellow. At the same time, the beautiful sky illuminates the two souls that have found happiness in each other, and while they do not know it yet, it is enough that they feel it - that their hearts know this is it, this is home.
“I see it now,” Gun says, eyes still glued to their friends. “Oh my god, I see it now.”
Off smiles at him and says, “I wonder when they will.”
And like all the other times he bore witness to this love, Off doesn’t tell them. Gun doesn't either. Because they know one day, the sun and the moon will meet like how the sun kisses the horizon at the end of the day.
One day, they will know.
It’s raining. The year is 2021 and the lines separating the seasons have been gradually becoming a blur. Bangkok should be well into summer already, yet today, it’s raining. The city is still bustling with life and energy despite the continuous downpour, the wet ground mirroring the skyscrapers perfectly as if there was another world in the upside down. The rain trickles down the green umbrella where Tay and New both sit outside a cafe, both holding a cup of coffee in their hands, quietly listening to the sounds of the city.
Across the cafe was the flower shop owned by Off’s cousin. They both still laugh whenever that moment gets brought up in their conversations. The years passed by like a blur, and they couldn’t count how many times they’ve fought for the pettiest reasons.
They have been through a lot of things, and so much has changed since then. For starters, Off has learned how to style his hair, or at least let their stylist do it. Alice is still allergic to flowers, so they have decided to stick to an unspoken agreement to only get her chocolates on Valentine’s Day. And the shop is still well and truly proving to be one of Bangkok’s best as it has now also occupied the stall beside it. Off still helps when he can, but he’s been busy filming his shows with Gun.
“I don’t think it’s gonna stop,” New mutters. “The rain… I don’t think it’s gonna stop anytime soon.”
“Mhmm…” Tay nods in agreement. “It didn’t stop until midnight last night, too.”
There was silence for a moment, both of them gazing at the dark sky with very little light peeking through the clouds. If Tay would be honest, he wishes that the rain would never stop, that it would continue pouring and pouring until the sky could no longer cry. If he could, he would stay here with New, in this very moment, until their hairs are grey and knees get weak.
He was deep in his thoughts that when he was pulled back to reality, he realized that New was no longer in front of him. He looks around trying to find where he went, until his eyes land on a person crouching beside the bushes getting soaked in the rain. In his hands was a small kitten with light orange fur and stripes a little darker than the shade of its fur. It’s shivering and looks even tinier cupped inside New’s hands.
If there is one thing that Tay knows about New and the rain, it’s that he hates it. He doesn’t like walking on wet roads or getting his shoes dirty in the mud. He hates it when it’s pouring, but this moment, under the downpour in the city, New didn’t mind. He loves cats so much that he didn’t mind. Sometimes Tay wonders how someone could love that much, how someone could have so much love for another being. But then he looks at himself, and then he realizes that we all don’t have an idea how much love we’re capable of.
Because he, too, used to be clueless how much love he can give, how much love he’s capable of. He didn’t know then, but when he met New, he started to feel, to love, to let himself feel loved.
He sees it now.
After 7 years, in the heart of the bustling city of Bangkok, Tay finally sees it himself.
“I see it now,” Tay says as he crouches beside New, eyes glued to the latter. “You make this city feel like home. You make every city feel like home.”
New smiles, and waits. He waits until Tay can say whatever he wants to say. After waiting for years, what’s waiting for a few seconds more?
“You… you make this city feel alive. You make me feel alive. You make me want to love more, to feel more. I love you. I love loving you.” Tay finally says, a tear escaping from his eyes.
The year is 2021 and it’s raining. It’s still raining. Bangkok continues to be bustling with life and energy, the ground still wet, mirroring the skyscrapers that are now lit with bright lights illuminating the whole city. The love that blossomed in the spring and endured through the summer finally found its home despite the downpour.
New smiles, caresses Tay’s cheek, and says, “Took you long enough.”
Finally, in the middle of millions of people in the city, the two souls found their home.