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It’s been a week since Satoko entered a world fragment she never saw herself in a million years to be in. A fragment, a world without her Rika. This fragment was no good to her, it meant nothing. The others don’t know who Rika is, nobody knows her. It’s as if Rika Furude, the queen carrier, never even existed.
Who is the queen carrier of this world? Who knows, It’s not like Satoko cared. She was going to end it all. This fragment reminded her of every horrible thing she’s done, and every horrible thing she’s been through.
Did Eua just use her? Did Eua pull the strings? Did Eua fiddle her around like she was putty in her dirty hands? There’s no way to go back and ask. It’s not like Satoko can loop anymore, it’s not like her goal was gonna be achieved anymore. In the end, she rolled the dice. It seemed Lady Luck didn’t have her side, and is now facing the deadly consequences.
The blonde girl was in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She didn’t particularly look well, she was a ghostly pale, with dark rings under her eyes. For once, this wasn’t an act. Her zombie looking face was caused from abandonment, stress, and most of all defeat. Regret is all the girl can feel, though. But why should she? She gained satisfaction from what she did at one point, playing everyone like a fiddle. Putting on constant acts and make everyone fall into deep pits of despair..or was that despair just for Rika?
Rika..the only girl that made Satoko feel like she belonged. Even if Hinamizawa hated the Hojo’s at one point, Rika brought her somewhere safe, she kept her close and made her feel at home. But life is unfair, life isn’t all flowers and rainbows. Those flowers die, and those rainbows disappear.
Satoko turned away from the mirror and took a few steps towards the filled bathtub. She dipped her finger in the water and felt it’s cozy warmth crawl up on fingertip and throughout her index. It’s soothing..especially with how dimly lit it was in that bathroom. It was quiet, it smelled quite fresh too. Her uncle seemed to have taken care of the place..surprisingly. It doesn’t matter. This fragment might just be a perfect world, but it’s a perfect world without her one and only. She doesn’t care about Teppei, he was a horrible man. Her stomach grew knots every time she had to pay that gremlin an ounce of her time.
She took her finger from the water and took in a deep breath. Everything was going according to plan, thankfully. Teppei was out to get groceries, while her friends were doing whatever. It wasn’t a school day so..she didn’t have to do dumb activities with them. Although they did call her for a meet up in Okinomiya, but she declined saying she was really busy.
Satoko turned from the tub and she began to undress herself, taking her pink short sleeved top off first and her other necessities. They were thrown to a corner furthest from the tub, and she turned back around again getting into the water, and settled into it. It was wonderful, wonderful enough she had a slight smile on her face. The smile didn’t have any meaning behind it, any emotion, it was just from the feeling. It was like Rika was hugging her, keeping her tight in her arms reminding her she was loved. It’s like she can even hear her sweet voice say “Poor poor pitiful Satoko”. She misses her so much. She hates the fact she didn’t even get to apologize or say she loved her.
She looked to the knife she had placed on a little stool..that stool seemed to be for decoration, and took grasp of the big weapon. She drew her attention back to the water and looked at her reflection. She was reminded of how evil, gross and useless she was. All her hard work gone down a drain. She couldn’t prevent that small mistake from happening..her dying before Rika. In fact, she can’t really remember the events..but that might be for the best. Then again, it didn’t matter.
Satoko brought her free arm from the water and gritted her teeth. Yeah, she was used to pain and what not..but it wasn’t a feeling she wanted. It was hard to ignore it. Therefore she braced herself, she was going to torture herself for what she’s done.
As soon as she brought down the knife to her wrist, it left a clean incision and blood quickly started to pour out. She inhaled a bit by the pain, took a few second break and then she continued. While she resumed she dunked the wrist into the water and watched as the blood coloured the transparent liquid. She wasn’t that fazed, it was just the untimed sting of the cut that seemed to have made her react.
All thoughts have left her head. She was empty minded as she spilled blood from each cut she made, turning the bath more red and red by the minute. She didn’t shed a tear, she didn’t jump out and call for help, she let it happen. It was for the best after all, right?
Minutes that felt like hours passed and she was dizzy. The blood loss was affecting her quicker than she thought, but on a bright note she became numb to it. She was shivering a little bit though and grew incredibly tired. This had to be done, there’s no meaning to this sick world. Without Rika nothing mattered. That’s how her thought process worked. Her wrist was really bloody and so was the other. Her throat was next. It’s not like she hadn’t cut her neck before anyway. This was just child’s play compared to some of the other stuff she has done.
Before she became nauseous enough to pass out, she used all her strength to bring the bloodied knife to her throat. Satoko didn’t know how this afterlife would be, this wasn’t like a loop killing weapon, her looping powers were no more apparently..so she was sure to die. She HAD to. There’s no way there could be more unbelievable crazy stuff to this universe.
Before reaching her demise, she stared at the blood bath. It was quite hard to make out, her eyes were starting to give up on her and they grew rather foggy. She felt like vomiting, all of this had caused her to swallow back a bunch of bile. It burned the inside of her throat, it wasn’t very nice to say the least. She continued quivering like a lost puppy, staring down at what should be her legs showing through water but they’re no longer visible due to the blood consuming the bathtub. She was really warm too. It could just be from the adrenaline, and the warmth of the water. Her reflection could be vaguely made through the crimsons, her face look disfigured..it was creepy. It’s like her face was melting, drooping down her neck and onto the knife that was still at the side of her neck. It wasn’t pleasing at all.
She then closed her eyes to get rid of that horrid sight, and pulled her knife grasped hand back and back up, leaving a poorly made slice on her throat, enough for her to die in a few minutes. The knife dropped into the water with a small splash, and she could feel the blood fountain out of her neck. Her arm fell to her side, with her hand balanced on the side of the tub, hearing slight drip sounds from the tips of her fingers, supposedly the blood falling to the floor. Her body slowly sank into the mess, but it’s not like she felt anything. All she could feel was relief almost, she could faintly hear splashes of blood, presumably from her throat, but there was an excruciatingly loud ringing through her ears. She’s finally done for, it’s all over.
She wishes her Hinamizawa friends the best of luck, she wishes that others would see that this suicide she did was a sign for forgiveness..and she wishes she could see Rika, just one more time. But her senses were already far too gone. She can’t think no more, hear, speak, feel..it’s like how she felt when she did kill herself over and over, but woke up seeing Eua. It’s a mystery what Satoko will wake up to next, she knows it’d be nothingness, but a part of her is praying that it’s Rika.
But from the bottom of Satoko’s cold heart, she truly did love everyone and even herself. It’s a shame things turned out the way they did.