Work Text:
i.
“Danielle!”
Ben calls out after her and she practically whips around at the sound of his voice.
She feels stupid for getting so excited at the mere prospect of being near him, as if she was six years old again and back on the playground.
He feels stupid because he’s not totally sure how to say what he wants to say, and he knows getting lost in her eyes isn’t gonna help anything.
A few seconds pass and Danielle waits until he’s stopped in front of her before saying, “If you were hoping I know where Skye is then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.” She crosses her arms in the effort to look more authoritative, more put together. There’s no way she’s gonna keep cracking every time she talks to this guy. Her eyes wide and her mouth stuck in a bright smile. No – this time she is going to remain strong.
She immediately messes it up when her gaze darts down from his eyes to his lips.
It’d be impossible for him to have missed the action, but Ben is not Sean and so he doesn’t make some snarky comment about it. Although that reaction was something Danielle thought suited her better.
Instead, he shoves his hands in his pockets and turns his gaze to something over her shoulder. Her heart does that twisty, achey thing it’s been doing for weeks at the mere thought of the boy before her. All it takes is him being… himself to send her careening – her mind daring to want something so desperately. Something that could never be her’s.
Ben steels himself and ignores how hard his heart is pounding, he hasn’t even said anything yet. When he looks back at Danielle her eyes are still locked on him. Determined to not back down, but also gearing up to take even more rejection. He can only admire how brave she can be – even now when they’re the furthest thing from being trapped in a cave.
He smiles, “I wasn’t looking for Skye…”
Her eyebrows go up to scrutinize him but he doesn’t miss the way her eyes sparkled.
“Sure you aren’t… Isn’t that why you’re in this stupid biking whatever to begin with? We already had our talk…you still care about her and…” She bites her lip, “And there’s basically no hope for me.”
Danielle isn’t used to rejection – at all. A pretty rich girl in a tiny, barely on the map village rarely ran into people that would say no to her.
And yet…here was this boy who continued to turn her down like it was the hot new craze. And maybe it was the spoiled brat in her, but she found herself feeling devastated every time.
She wonders how many times it’ll take him choosing Skye over her for her to finally be over him.
But then he takes a miniscule step forward and leans down just a bit, so that she knows that what he says is just for her and she thinks, “He could reject me a billion times and I’ll still be completely hooked.”
Ben – completely unaware of the effect his actions have on her – replies, “Well, technically we were supposed to be talking about the woodshed yeah? But instead you just rattled off accusations behind my feelings for Skye. I think I only got like two lines in and then got pulled back into this stupid treasure hunt.”
He laughs a little at his last statement and it makes Danielle smile, the tension leaving her shoulders.
“So…you really wanna talk? About – about me and you?” She has to physically fight the urge to smile even wider.
Ben nods, “Right here. Right now.”
She swallows down the joyful scream that threatens to break loose and clears her throat, “Does it have to be right here? Because I don’t think I can stand another minute in this place.”
Ben straightens out and turns his head to observe their surroundings, clearly confused. He’s always been right at home in nature and even more at home in the woods. Despite all the weirdness surrounding the Enduro, Ben can’t help but feel at ease (especially now that everything is being taken down leaving a forest that looks untouched).
Danielle wonders if it’s a curse for her to get involved with guys who have no issue with mud and moss and calluses. She had lost many an article of clothing to grass stains during her Sean era.
But, once again, she is reminded that Ben might be the furthest thing from Sean when he looks down at her and nods, “Yeah okay – do you wanna go…get a coffee? Or something?”
For a moment she’s frozen, she doesn’t know why she’d expected him to say something like, “What? Trees just a little too intimidating for you rich girl?”
But his tone is so…so genuine, lacking even a touch of sass, and she wonders if she’s about to go into cardiac arrest.
This is typically where something goes wrong.
The feeling of him is almost real to her and then the universe tears them apart.
But this time there is no “later,” there is no “maybe.”
He said here and now.
After another moment of staring dumbly up at him, Danielle swallows and nods just a little too hard, “Yeah…something.” Her eyes lock onto his and he smiles gratefully, “I mean – I’m about due for a half-caf white mocha latte.” Her cheeks heat up and, for fear of Skye popping out from behind one of the millions of trees surrounding them, she turns around and continues following the path that brought her to this ghastly place to begin with.
Ben quickly falls into stride with her and she ignores the fact that she feels like she might start floating in a few seconds, “Do they even do half-caf white mocha lattes at Irene’s? I didn’t think they did anything more elaborate than an espresso shot.”
Danielle scoffs, “Like you would know. You haven’t hung out at Irene’s since we were like thirteen.”
He rubs the back of his neck, “Wow, that long huh? Do the gang still hang out there?”
“You mean aside from the ones who haven’t moved? No. It’s been just me.” She replies while examining her manicure.
Ben looks down at her for a moment, her expression doesn’t look pained or anything but her words only reaffirm something he had only learned recently.
Danielle is alone. And even worse she doesn’t want to be.
He brings his gaze back to the path, “Well then…guess this a pretty special coffee run.”
-
They sit at a corner table at the very back of the café, upon Danielle’s request. They’ve never gotten this far before and she still isn’t convinced someone they know isn’t gonna see them through the massive front window only to come barging in bothering them about the gold. She has even bigger concerns that it’ll be Skye.
Who – Danielle decides – is the perfect point to start off with.
“So,” She watches the coffee and the cream mix in her cup as she swirls the straw around, “Are you still in love with Skye?”
She sees him glare at her over the lip of his mug as he gulps at his tea.
“What?” She smiles innocently, ignoring how excited it makes her that she’s able to get under Mr. Nice Guy’s skin.
Ben sets his mug back down on the table, “Really? Why would I be here if that was the case?”
Danielle shrugs, “Who knows? You could see me as the best way to get over her…” She hates how pathetic that sounded.
He leans forward in his seat and grabs hold of her forearm. Instantly something sparks through both of them at his touch, their eyes lingering on the action.
Ben is the first to find his voice when he clears his throat and says gently, “You all seem so convinced that I can’t do anything for Skye without some ulterior motive. Seriously, when did everyone decide to start speaking for me?”
She can feel his thumb stroking her over her jacket, she feels really warm, “Because at every corner when you’ve needed to make a choice between me and Skye you…” She finally tears her gaze away from his hand and looks him in the face, “You always choose her… And I feel like that’s how it’s always gonna be.”
He’s constantly entranced by how stunning she is, as they were growing up it was just something he chose to ignore. Because he knew that her beauty didn’t travel beneath the surface. At least, that’s how it used to be. That’s…how he thought it was. How he thought she was.
“Those times were different and you know that.” His tone is still so steady and unperturbed, not a touch of annoyance towards her.
She bites her lip because she can’t believe that he’s real. That she’s known him since she was little. That this is the first time she’s really processed who he is – and who he is to her. And what she wants him to be.
“Both times you betrayed me and immediately skipped over to Miss Perfect without a second thought – or even an apology!” She huffs and takes a sip of her drink.
And once again, he doesn’t play along, he doesn’t get upset and start firing angry remarks back at her. Instead, he breathes out a laugh and she almost chokes on her straw at the way his eyes shine, “Betrayed? That’s a pretty big word Danielle. You act like I committed high treason against the crown or something.”
Danielle sighed, “Well – that’s how it felt when I turned my back only to turn around and see you with her…again and again.”
He examines her expression, her body language, the way she’s sort of slumped her shoulders in defeat. In all his years of knowing her, Ben had never seen Danielle Clarke so down on herself, and all because she couldn’t be with him.
And then his brain shuts down. All of this is because of him. How was that even possible?
Danielle – the queen bee – wanting to be with some nobody.
Ben Evans wasn’t anybody important, his name didn’t evoke anything the way her’s did. She was going from Sean, a fellow silver spoon holder, to him. And while he wasn’t one to tear himself down, Ben knew that was a significantly major leap for someone like Danielle. The girl who only expected the best for herself.
Hesitantly, he leaned back and let go of her arm, his body going cold, “Why me Danielle? Why put yourself through all this trouble just…” He freezes a moment when he realizes that she’s straightened up in her seat, “… Just for me?”
She frowns, “I already said all this in the woodshed. You treat me like I deserve to be a better person. Like I have the ability to…to grow.”
He shrugs, her words make his heart race, “Anyone could do that…”
“Yeah? Well, none of them did it. It wasn’t Skye or Alex in that cave with me Ben. It was you.” Her tone kind of softens at the end and she sheepishly looks down into her drink.
Ben is quiet for a second. still failing to see her logic, “So – you like me because I make you wanna be nice?”
Danielle groaned and ran a hand through her shiny hair, “Do you really need me to point out the obvious Ben?”
He nods, his expression serious.
She sighs and her face begins to glow bright red, “Fine. You’re nice. But not just like you’re nice because it’s better than being rude. You are just…genuinely a good person. And it annoys be sometimes because when people ask you to do something you never say no – unless it’s to me.”
He shakes his head, clearly trying fight off a smile, “One time.”
“Do you want my compliments or not?” She glares, face still burning.
“Right. Sorry.” He says, letting the smile crack through.
She can’t help but want to smile too, “You work hard at…well everything you do…and… Well, I admire it a lot. I grew up never needing to work for anything and Sean was the same way… But – since we were kids you’ve always done your best…to make everyone else happy…”
Ben’s eyes are wide, he’s speechless. He’s never expected anyone to say these kinds of things about him and now he’s finding out that Danielle has made these observations.
“Um…what else… Oh! You’re brave. Like the bravest person I know. You practically live out in the wild like it’s your second home. If I had fallen into that cave alone – or even with Sean – God knows I’d be dead right now.” She chuckles warmly and it knocks the breath right out of Ben’s chest.
Now her brown eyes have locked onto his blue ones, “You’re handsome…it’s a quality you’re not really aware of… I’ve seen you heave massive sandbags onto your shoulders like it’s no big deal. And while it used to horrify me, it – it almost captivates me to watch you do your ridiculous Mr. Farmer Evans tasks… Like chopping wood.”
He swallows, “Danielle…” He senses the question before it even passes her lips, the whole reason they even needed to have this conversation in the first place.
She leans forward slightly, “Were you going to kiss me? In the woodcutter’s shed.” Her eyes shine with curiosity, but even bigger than that they shine with hope.
A hope that terrifies Ben.
“What if – what if I’m not everything you wanted?” He asks.
Her eyes never leave his, “That’s not possible. How can you not be what I want when all I want is you?”
He gulps, “I don’t…. I don’t have the kind of money to give you what you’re used to…”
She shakes her head, “Sean gave me what I was used to…look how well that turned out.”
His fingertips graze her’s for just a second before he chickens out and pulls his hands back, “Danielle, are you sure y – “
“Just answer the question bike boy.” She huffs, shutting down his insecurities.
Ben bites his lip, there’s no way he’d ever lie to her especially about something like this. But what if the truth led to something wonderful only for that something wonderful to fall apart? As good as he was at fixing things, stuff always eventually breaks around him.
And then he saw the way she was looking up at him, her face practically gleaming in anticipation. Unafraid of what was to come, simply what could work out right now.
Deciding he can do that too, he takes a deep breath, “Yes. If Sean hadn’t shown up then I would have kissed you. I probably would have kissed you a lot.
Ben never thought he’d seen Danielle that happy…ever.
Her breath hitched and then she giggled, suddenly standing up from her chair.
With her eyes shining the brightest he’d ever seen them, she looks down at him and says, “What about right now? Do you still wanna kiss me?”
He’s a little shocked by her reaction, leaning back in his chair, “Quite a bit actually yeah.”
This time she almost squeals in excitement and it’s enough to make Ben start grinning too.
ii.
“So…” Ben starts but is quickly distracted when Danielle weaves her fingers with his, “You’re okay with this being a secret? Just for a little bit?” He finally adds, eyes leaving their hands to look down at her.
She begins to sway their arms back and forth, “Secret relationships are always the most romantic.” She states it so matter of factly that Ben isn’t sure if she’s joking or not.
He stares down at her, “Right… I just…there’s a lot going on right now and – once everything calms down then we can…you know…announce this.” He lifts up their joined hands.
Danielle gives him an amused look, “That’s a very sweet way of saying you’re embarrassed to be dating me.”
Ben is quick to stop dead in his tracks, bringing both of them to a halt. He turns to face her, “Danielle,” He lets go of her hand and rests both of his on her shoulders, “I’m not embarrassed by you – not even in the slightest. Do you know that? Because it’s really important to me that you know that.”
She’s looking up at him with eyes wide and lips slightly parted; clearly, she’s shocked by his sudden change in demeanor.
He frowns and squeezes her shoulders, “This – us together – it’s definitely a lot of things. Weird, unexpected, crazy, exciting, and I’m sure you can name plenty of other stuff too. But it’s not…you’re not embarrassing. Not to me.” He slides his hands down her arms before intertwining their fingers.
Danielle finally closes her mouth and squeezes his hands, “I mean… I was mainly joking but…it was good to hear that.”
He nods and smiles, “I’ll be here if you need any more unnecessary declarations.”
She giggles as they continue on the path to Danielle’s house, “You’ve already given me one and we’ve barely been official for an hour.”
“I aim to please.” He sends her a playful look that sends sparks firing through every vein in her body.
She smiles back, “Well here’s hoping you have no issue keeping up with my high expectations.”
Shockingly, their playful banter continues all the way until they reach her house. Danielle was used to people just going quiet so they wouldn’t need to talk with her. But Ben wasn’t people. He was never one to give up on anybody, not even her.
The thought makes her heart soar, and she squeezes his hand as he walks her to the front door.
“Well,” She starts as they come to a stop right in front of the door and she turns to face him, “Today has been a lot.” She looks up at him fondly.
He nods, “It’s all been a long time coming…”
She smiles and rests her hands on his chest, “Are you happy? With the choice you made? Right now?” Her tone sounds a little uncertain, as if this is all one elaborate prank and eventually Ben will reveal that he never wanted to be with her.
He takes a step closer to her, “I’m feeling a lot of things right now…but one of them is definitely happy.”
Her smile widens and his breath hitches.
“I want to try to be better…not just so you’ll like me…but so I can be better for you – and for all the other people I care about I guess.”
He chuckles and rests his hands on her waist, “Well your track record has been pretty good so far...”
She rolls her eyes and begins to try and line up the strings of his hoodie.
He smiles, “I know you can do it Danielle…I truly believe you’ve got it in you.”
Danielle bites her lip, placing her hands back on his chest, “I don’t – I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me…”
“Well I’m saying it now, and I’ll say it as many times as I need to. I’ll be like a candy dispenser but for motivation.” He said playfully.
She scrunched up her nose, “That sounds disgusting.”
“So I’m already meeting those high expectations?” He smirked.
She relaxed her face when she saw the way his eyes sparkled – at her – and cleared her throat, “That depends…do you still wanna kiss me?”
The breath is knocked from her lungs when she sees his eyes widen and his face begin to flush. His gaze drops down to her lips, as if considering the question. Her heartbeat is drumming in her ears, and it feels like hours have passed with them standing there, feeling the other’s breath on their face. It’s in that moment that Danielle realizes that they’ve been inching closer together all this time.
“If I do,” He says softly, less than an inch away from her, “Will you be willing to ride a bike to find this gold tomorrow?”
Danielle knows she could fight with him on this, in fact it’s her first instinct. But then she sees the way he’s looking at her with pupils dilated and breathing faint. He wants to kiss her, really and truly. This is not to fulfill some sort of checklist of boyfriend requirements which is how it felt with Sean. She could refuse Ben’s ultimatum right now and he would still kiss her, but that didn’t seem entirely fair.
She’s just barely able to breathe out a, “Fine,” before he smashes his lips against her’s. The force is so powerful that she takes a couple steps backwards and he follows her.
Her heart is beating so fast that she can’t possibly be expected to keep up, and she’s begun to grip the fabric of his shirt. Her knees are shaking and she wonders if she hasn’t been able to regain her balance since he first kissed her and she nearly fell backwards.
He can barely breathe; it feels like his lungs are full of fire and he’s seconds away from exploding. He brings his hands to the small of her back and pulls her closer to him. All this back-and-forth nonsense and lingering gazes and he didn’t even realize how badly he had wanted this…her.
When she finally decides that breathing is essential again, she tugs at his shirt and slowly backs away. He rests his forehead against her’s and Danielle wonders if she’d ever been this happy in her entire life.
Ben laughs softly, “And I just get to do that all the time now?”
She nods, “It’ll fulfill plenty of late-night fantasies, I’m sure.”
He smirks at her, “Sure, yours maybe.”
iii.
Danielle stomps up to the ambulance where he’s sitting and whacks Ben on the arm.
He winces and then glares at her, he takes off his oxygen mask for a moment to say, “Really? You’re mad about this?”
She crosses her arms, “You dived headfirst into a burning building without any consideration of the danger you’d be in! I told you to wait for the firemen but then Skye gave you doe eyes and you ran in! Christ – why do you always have to be the hero?”
She hits him again and this time he looks down at his lap guiltily. They’d only been dating for a couple of days and they were already in a fight; off to a great start.
“Honestly, what did you think you were gonna do – shoot jets of water out of your fingertips?” She adds, tone still cold but she steps forward to brush his hair out of his face.
He sighs, “Danielle…I can’t just sit and do nothing…”
Danielle scoffs, “Right – you’ve got to make sure you look extra heroic in front of Skye.”
He looks at her in shock, “Skye? Why wouldn’t I want to look heroic for you, my girlfriend? I swear you always turn this into something about Skye.” He mirrors her own actions by pushing a lock of hair out of her face.
She frowns, “Because I know that you doing this stupid thing had nothing to do with me…the lodge has nothing to do with me. That’s all Skye. Perfect, Disney princess Skye…”
He’s ready to counter by reminding her that they were well past this point, he had chosen her and it was gonna stay that way. But then, her lip begins to tremble and everything in Ben’s head screeches to a halt.
“I – you could have gotten really hurt Ben… Or worse… I – I just got you I can’t already lose you! Over something as stupid as some old building!” She starts to wipe at her eyes before the tears start cascading, she’s been trying to swallow the lump in her throat but it’s not cooperating.
Slowly but surely, Ben is beginning to understand how Danielle works. She’s different from any other person he’s ever known and even though they grew up together it’s becoming clear to him that he never truly understood her. But now he sees her typical harsh words and how she uses them to not take things too personally. They help her keep her distance.
Gently, he grabs her hand and brings her closer to him so she’s standing between his knees.
She looks surprised that he’d perform such a public display of affection that any of their friends can see but then she’s reminded that Skye had seen them kissing. There wouldn’t be much point in hiding it – them – anymore.
Hesitantly, she looks into his eyes. They’re blue and beautiful and full of a patience she didn’t know people could possess. She’s waiting for him to tell her she’s being silly – because she knows she is. She knows getting mad at him for wanting to help his friends is ridiculous especially since that sort of behavior is on brand for him. But if she’s angry then she’s not scared. And she doesn’t want him to think she could handle the cave and the island but not this.
But the seconds pass and he just remains silent. He doesn’t berate her or even tease her for overreacting. He just continues to hold onto her hand, gaze patient and even apologetic.
And then, she lets go of everything, leaning forward to rest against him.
As she nestles her head into his shoulder, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer. Once her chest is pressed against his, Ben whispers, “I’m sorry Danielle.”
A shiver runs up her spine and she almost gasps in shock before shaking her head and saying into his shirt, “No – no I-“
“No, seriously Danielle. I’m sorry that I ignored you and just did my own thing without even putting in some thought. If Sean were here he’d probably slap me…” He laughs and squeezes her tighter when he hears her sniffling, “I mean who do I think I am? I have my family and you and my friends…I – shouldn’t be able to risk all that so easily.”
She mumbles into his shoulder, “If you ever do something like that again I – I’ll probably just murder you myself.”
He nods, “I’ll keep that in mind Danielle…thanks.”
Danielle is quiet for a moment before hesitantly emerging from his shoulder to look him in the eyes. His expression immediately goes guilty when he sees her mascara running down her face. It’s short-lived because she grabs one of his arms and uses the sleeve of his jacket to wipe her cheeks.
“Hey I’m not your tissue!” He cries but barely tries to tug his hand free.
She smiles at him for the first time since they kissed at the boathouse, “Should have thought about that before you had to go off and make me cry huh?”
He smirks, “That’s right, we were interrupted weren’t we?”
Her face flushes and she nods, “And quite rudely at that.”
“Guess we should fix that yeah?” He rests his hand on her cheek and begins to guide her towards him.
Danielle’s eyes are sparkling with clear excitement before they momentarily flicker to something in her peripheral. With a sigh, she rests a hand on his chest and backs up, “Later.”
His eyes look at her confused before they follow where she was looking.
“Right.”
Skye is staring at both of them, eyes blown wide and hands shoved in her pockets.
“I guess you should go talk to her…” Danielle says with a pout.
Ben gives her a surprised look, “Me? Danielle are you okay with that?”
Instantly her hand fists the fabric of his shirt, “Obviously no, but…but this whole trust thing is new to me and if this – us – is gonna work then I need to be able to trust you right?”
“Well yes bu-“
“Just make it quick so you can walk me home.” She’s says with her average level of venom.
He smiles and as he stands up from the back of the ambulance, he presses a quick kiss to her lips.
-
“Were you ever gonna tell us?”
Ben shoves his hands in his pockets, “Starting off strong aren’t we?”
Normally, Skye would smile or giggle or even roll her eyes playfully, but not this time. Her eyes are trained on him expectantly – demanding an answer. This wasn’t the time for lighthearted conversation and Ben knew that.
Ben sighs, “Danielle and I were gonna tell everyone this weekend since there was already so much going on and…” He rubs the back of his neck, “You were already dealing with all the stuff with Sean. Even if we did announce it – it would have fallen on deaf ears. Which I’m sure you’re aware that isn’t really Danielle’s thing… Figured I’d avoid her trying to rub the fact that we’re dating in everyone’s face.”
Skye is surprised to find something he would typically say with annoyance instead being said with a fond smile, his eyes shining. She tries not to flinch when he says the word “dating” with little struggle.
Ben bites his lip, he can tell that she’s upset, “I’m sorry that I kept this a secret… I’m sure you don’t need that after all that’s happened with Sean.”
She stares up at him for a moment before letting out a sigh and nodding, “No – it’s alright. I get why you didn’t say anything… At least you were planning on telling m- us eventually.”
He nods, “Of course – you’re our friends. Plus, I don’t think Danielle would be able to keep it a secret forever even if she wanted to.”
Once again, Skye sees the way he smiles and she realizes it’s because he’s talking about Danielle.
She swallows the lump in her throat, “Definitely caught me by surprise though. I mean I didn’t even know you and Danielle liked each other.”
Ben’s eyes widen, “Really? I was sure everybody knew something was going on.”
Those words hit like a punch to the gut.
She laughs and shakes her head, “I guess I missed what was right in front of me.”
He smiles before turning to look over his shoulder where Danielle is leaning against the lodge’s fence with Noah and Kaylee. She lets out a yawn and then meets his gaze; immediately she sends him a pout. Code for, ‘Are you ready to leave yet?’
He nods and holds up a finger, ‘Give me a minute.’ She rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to the couple.
What Ben recognized as a pout, Skye saw as a glare and when he turned his gaze back to her she said, “Ben – just…be careful. I’m sure you like her a lot but…this is Danielle.”
Ben’s smile faltered for a moment before coming back and he shook his head, “The same Danielle that prevented Gil from taking advantage of you – helped you find the treasure? The concert wouldn’t have happened without her either right?”
Skye hugged herself, his defense was so fast and so sure. How had she missed the two of them slowly growing to care for one another? Had she really been so centered in her own life that she didn’t notice that Ben had long since moved on from rock-climbing dates?
Now he wanted to be with the girl who saved him from a cave.
Ben rested a hand on her shoulder, “I know you’re just looking out for me but… I’ve known Danielle since we little and – well she’s grown up in a different kind of world from us. The same goes for Sean. They’re from a cutthroat world and that’s all they’ve known.” He looks back over at Danielle, “But she wants to break the cycle, be better than what’s come before her. And I know you’ve seen that too.”
Skye’s eyes linger on his hand before she smiles up at him, “You’re in a world different from anyone else’s Ben…”
He cocks his head and gives her a confused look but Skye merely shakes her head and reaches forward to pat his arm, “Don’t ever change who you are okay?” She hopes that Danielle doesn’t make the same mistake she made – taking who he was for granted.
iv.
“You said we were going to dinner like an hour ago Ben.” Danielle states with her hands on her hips.
Ben sighs and looks up at her from the radiator he’s been trying fix for a majority of that hour, “I know, I’m sorry. Once I’m through here we can go.”
Danielle scoffs and begins to fish through her purse before pulling out a tissue and handing it to him, “But now you’re all sweaty…”
He smirks as he wipes his brow, “So I’m not getting a kiss then?”
Her face flushes and she rolls her eyes, “I don’t think I even want to be within five feet of you.” And as if to emphasize her point, she takes a step back.
Ben laughs softly, “Well I’m nearly finished… Is it fine if we stop by my house so I can shower?”
Danielle huffs and crosses her arms, “You better be getting paid over-time for this – honestly Ben you were supposed to get off at three and now it’s seven! I had to walk here myself because you didn’t get me at five like we planned.”
Ben turns his attention back to the radiator, either tightening or loosening a bolt (truthfully Danielle can’t tell) and saying, “I don’t mind staying late to help, especially since Skye hasn’t found the time to call someone to fix this.”
Irritation sparks in Danielle’s chest, “Ben you do like 90% of the work around here. You don’t even own the lodge and you practically run this place.”
“Because this place is important to a lot of people…I just want to keep it that way. Plus I enjoy doing this kind of work.” He says it with a smile.
Of course, Ben was a hard labor kind of guy since they were young. Always ready to provide his services whenever they were needed. Even if there was no added benefit for him.
Danielle frowned and leaned against the wall, turning on her phone, “I just prefer that you put those hands to use somewhere else is all.” She doesn’t realize the way that sounds until after she’s said it, looking up from her phone with eyes wide.
When she turns to look at Ben, she’s found that he’s also looking up at her wide-eyed.
“I meant – I mean – Like…holding my hand or – or my bags…or something…” This was ridiculous, Danielle was far from a prude. Had this been a conversation between her and Sean she’d be trying to convince him to sneak into one of the empty rooms with her. Leave it to Ben to render her a stuttering mess regarding a subject she was an expert in.
Ben continues to stare at her for a moment before nodding and looking back at the radiator, “Would me saying ‘You should put your mouth to better use’ be too much?”
Instantly, Danielle feels like her whole body is burning and her skin is too hot to touch. It takes a load of concentration not to choke on her words, “I – uh… It sounds a bit rude.”
He bites his lip, “That’s what I thought… Sorry…”
She wonders if she should tell him that she kinda liked it, but before she can act on any sort of impulse Ben has zipped up the toolbag and stood up. He motions for her to follow him as he makes his way down the hall towards the service stairway.
As they walked, Danielle noted that this hallway hadn’t been painted like the rest of the lodge. It had been a month since the fire and all the major damages had mostly been repaired. Unfortunately, there were about a million little things that Ben was all too happy to take care of so as to take a major load off poor Skye’s shoulders.
Danielle tries to think that with some malice but lately she just doesn’t have it in her to dislike Skye anymore. Even though she has plenty of petty reasons.
She isn’t an idiot; she notices the way Skye leaves the room whenever they do anything remotely couple-y. Or staring at Ben just a little too long – eyes all sad. Skye always seems to be in the unfortunate situation of liking Danielle’s boyfriends. Except, this time she knows her boyfriend won’t cheat on her.
Danielle is perfectly capable of holding this against her, but she finds that being mad at Skye only makes her feel worse. Rather than feeling victorious for finally having something that Skye can’t have, Danielle finds herself feeling sorry. Sorry because Skye is the type of girl that deserves happily ever afters – but one prince charming let her down and another ran off with the wicked stepsister.
She’s so lost in thought that she doesn’t hear Ben warn her about the large step down, and even worse she doesn’t even see it until she’s already stepped off it and realized her mistake. She lets out a yelp, but Ben is quick to turn around and unwittingly catch her.
He grunts when she accidentally steps on his foot while her elbow hits his chest.
Danielle is quick to step off of him and says, “How long has that stupid thing been there?”
Ben smiles, “Apparently it only just now started existing. Though I wonder how I could have warned you about it if it didn’t exist yet? Or was it possible that you weren’t listening?”
She glares at him and pushes herself out of his arms, “Now I’m all sweaty too!”
He laughs, “You sure you’re not being just a little bit dramatic? You’re acting like I’m completely drenched.”
“Ugh don’t say that – you’re gonna make me throw up.” She says with a shudder as they continue walking.
“So, where were you?” He asks.
Danielle raises an eyebrow, “Where was I what?”
He gestures behind them, “When you almost plummeted down that cliff back there.”
“You’re just trying to get me to smack you right?” She says with an eyeroll.
“No, I’m just trying to hear what’s on your mind.” He says with a smile and Danielle realizes that she must have subconsciously handed him her purse because he’s been carrying that and the toolbag this whole time.
Such a simple little Ben thing that never fails to make her knees weak and her chest ache.
‘I’m in love with you.’ She thinks.
“Skye still likes you.” She says.
Ben’s expression quickly sobers up, “Danielle –“
“I’m not saying this in a jealous rage. I’m actually not even angry with her about it.” She says, her own tone sounding shocked.
“But how do you –“
“This is coming from a girl who might as well be the expert on liking you from afar. I know what it looks like Ben… I know what it feels like.” She says softly.
But by his expression she can tell that he isn’t convinced.
She sighs and keeps her gaze forward, she’s not about to almost faceplant a second time, “I think…that might be one of the big reasons her and Sean broke up out of the blue. Sure, he screwed up – but he’s Sean and he always screws up. Skye of all people knew that.”
Ben shook his head, “I’m sure Skye was just…she was tired of being disappointed…”
Danielle scoffed, “Yes of course she was, Sean is nothing if not an exhausting person to be in a relationship with. But you don’t go from texting each other heart emojis on the hour one day and then the next day ending everything. Especially if you’re Skye who likes to play ‘I can fix him with love’ all the time. Girl is obviously into fixer uppers.”
Ben rolled his eyes, “What exactly do I have to do with this?”
Danielle sighed again and came to a stop just in front of the door to the stairs, turning to face Ben, “You know, I watch the way her eyes follow you when you move around a room. How bright her smile gets when you talk to her. How the second you’re talking to me she can’t even bring herself to look in your general direction.” She rests a hand on his arm, the arm he’d injured in the cave, “Ben…she realized she still felt something for you at the Enduro. When you reminded her the lengths you would go to so that…so that she’d be happy again. That day…she remembered what it was like to have a boyfriend who wasn’t blinded by his own ego.”
Ben looked down at her, shocked by how somber her tone was without even the slightest bit of animosity dripping from it. Her eyes stayed on her own hand that had begun to grip the fabric of his sleeve.
Finally, she smiled up at him, “It’s not easy Ben. Standing here knowing that a girl that is much better for you is out there and – and she cares about you and apparently you had no clue. And I don’t know whether to feel bad for her or – or feel bad for myself because I know how it feels to lo- to care about someone and not even be able to have them. But I just got you and I don’t know if I can handle losing you – “
“Danielle. You’re not losing me.” He quickly rested the toolbag and her purse on the carpet and placed his hands on her shoulders, “Not by a long shot.”
Her brown eyes sparkled up at him, “I’m sorry for breaking your arm.”
Ben stared at her blankly for a moment, that was such a drastic change of subject, “Is that an analogy for something?”
She bit her lip, “No. I mean when I literally broke your arm…back in the cave…”
He almost burst out laughing but thought better of it as he slid his hands down her arms and intertwined their fingers together, “That wasn’t really…anyone’s fault Danielle. The arm was more a victim of circumstance.”
“Yes but it wouldn’t have even happened if I hadn’t been dragging you on some silly treasure hunt. For treasure that wasn’t even mine!” She pouts.
Ben smiles, “Danielle, this is all old news regardless of whose fault it is. It’s all water under the bridge.” To emphasize his point, he begins to move their joined hands – mimicking the flow of a river.
Danielle hardly reacts to the action and continues to frown, “I just want it to be clear that I’m not saying this to – to drag at Skye or whatever. I genuinely do not feel anything negative towards her – shockingly enough. So, I expressed something that’s been keeping me up at night.”
Ben’s eyes widened, “Keeping you up? Danielle that happened months ago.”
She scoffed, “I know you should be in awe of the effect you have on me.” Again, she was talking about this like it was nothing.
Ben took a step forward and brought his hands to her cheeks, “I don’t want you losing sleep over some dumb fracture that’s been healed for a while now!”
Danielle’s expression softened when she saw the concern flooding his eyes, “But I do Ben. I do because I can’t believe it took you…putting yourself in danger for me to even – to even realize what I had been missing. What had been in front of me for years! And Skye didn’t need any of that! Her feelings are there because she’s always recognized what a – a good person you are. It took less time for her to like you… Meanwhile I had taken my whole life to realize…” Her vision is clouded, and Ben can see her eyes going glassy.
He shook his head, “Well it took me even longer than you Danielle. Even longer to give you a chance and recognize just how wonderful you are. That I had never even bothered to look beyond what everyone else perceived. It – That wasn’t fair of me.”
She drooped, gaze falling downward, “It’s okay… Not like I’m the easiest person to give a second chance to.”
Ben smiled and lifted her eyes back up to him, “You’d be surprised how easy it is to be with you though… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way with any of the other girls I’ve been with.”
All of a sudden, something blooms in Danielle’s chest. Something that feels warm and comforting and so incredibly new. It’s almost as if her heart is soaring above the clouds, surrounded by the endless galaxies and each burning star is reminding her of a completely absurd fact.
She loves him.
They’ve only been dating a little over a month now but that’s where the absurdity in all this lies. She’s known him all her life and only even started to fancy him after sixteen years. It had taken her so long to notice him and 0.05% of that time to realize she’d fallen in love with him. And she can’t help but find all of this so silly.
How difficult it was to see him and how easy it was to love him.
She took a step forward, their knees bumped together, “I need you Ben… A-And when I need something I don’t usually worry about losing it. Things are so easy to replace… But there’s no replacement for you Ben. I’m sure I could comb the world and never find somebody that makes me feel the way you do.” She says all of this softly – she feels breathless.
He reacts the way she knew he would, sheepishly shaking his head and smiling. She doesn’t miss the red creeping up his ears and she almost feels proud of herself for managing to have this effect on him. They’ve come a long way from bickering with each other in the sandbox that used to be in Sean’s backyard when they were young.
Before he can attempt to humbly deny her claim, Danielle continues, “I just – I want you to know that…being with you doesn’t only make me happy. It’s almost like – for the first time in my life I’m full. I don’t want anything because all of my…my emptiness I guess is satisfied by you. You holding my hand and answering my 2 a.m. phone calls somehow makes me happier than any new Louis purse could. And those used to be the highlights of my week. It all seems so silly now.”
Ben laughs as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her into a tight hug, one Danielle immediately melts into with a shaky sigh. He nuzzles himself into the crook of her neck and his whispers send tremors all over her body. She’s not sure if that was his intention.
“We’ve always been very different people. We come from completely different worlds and we see the world through different lenses. I – I used to think that was a bad thing, a big reason why we…this…us…it wouldn’t work but – “ He pauses to hold her a little tighter to his chest and Danielle responds by wrapping her arms around his neck so she can run her fingers through his hair. He continues, “You show me different perspectives on nearly everything and I realize how long my life has always been one thing. Being with you…it’s like everything has changed just a little bit and I think it’s amazing…. Amazing that you could do that for me in so little time.”
And all at once, his words have done something to her. A combination of weakening her knees and watering her eyes and leaving her speechless.
But more than the physical, Danielle feels something in her chest click with her head. She believes every word he’s said. She believes that even though he has full freedom to go back to Skye, he won’t. He wants to stay in their beautiful, juxtaposed reality instead. Because she fills the same emptiness in him that he fills in her.
They remain in that suffocating embrace for a few more minutes before Danielle finally remembers something and attempts to look up at Ben.
He notes her furrowed eyebrows with a concerned expression, “What?”
“Are you gonna talk to Skye?” She says, looking up at him expectantly.
He stares down at her for a moment and then sighs, brushing a strand of hair out of her face, “I don’t know what to do about that…It’s something personal that Skye doesn’t want anyone to know about. I mean – even if I were to talk to her what good would come from it? It’s not like she’s expecting anything from me…”
Danielle absorbs what he says and finds that, once again, her boyfriend is probably right. But for once she finds it a comfort rather than annoying. She nods and takes a step back, physically feeling his warmth leave her body.
After getting lost in each other’s eyes for a few seconds, Danielle clears her throat and crosses her arms, “I’m gonna let you off this time because I was in a state of distress but…” She points down to her purse that Ben had put down, “The Versace stays off the ground.”
Ben follows her finger before rolling his eyes and sending her a smile, “I’ve got the most gracious girlfriend in the world.”
She huffs, “Ben I’m serious! That purse cost more than your car.” She holds the door open for him as he grabs the two bags and they descend down the stairs.
He raises an eyebrow and holds up the purse to examine it, “This? But it’s just a bunch of dyed leather glued together.”
Danielle lets out a dramatic sigh and grabs the bag from him, “I thought you and Sean were best friends. Did he really teach you nothing about the designer world?”
Ben laughs, “If he did ever talk about it I’m sure I was completely zoned out.”
“Of course. You were probably too busy chopping firewood or…plowing soil or something outdoorsy…” She replied.
He laughed again, “Right – how am I supposed to keep up with the latest trends when I have an imaginary farm that needs tending to?”
His laugh makes her smile as she holds the bag up and points to the gold “V” on the front, “This is what makes it so valuable.”
“The logo?” He asks, grabbing her free hand.
She nods, weaving their fingers together, “Without that it’s just a nameless, leather purse. It’s the identity that makes it special. Now no matter where I go, people know how much I can afford.”
“Ah, no wonder I haven’t known about this until now. Because I don’t care how rich anyone thinks I am.” He replies as they reach the bottom of the stairs.
His tone is playful and Danielle knows she hasn’t offended him, but now she feels silly for addressing that people’s perception of her matters a great deal to her. She wouldn’t wanna be caught dead carrying a bag that didn’t have some sort of overpriced nametag. She’s just been reminded that Ben doesn’t like her because of how wealthy she is. Somehow, he only cares about the person carrying the purse.
“Did I sound superficial just now?” She asks as they start their trek across the lodge’s front lawn, anxiety getting the better of her.
Ben is looking around, trying to remember where he parked, when he says, “Maybe a little bit…but it’s not exactly a crime to like expensive stuff. I like fixing radiators, Sean likes riding bikes…” He smiles down at her, “We’ve all got something.”
She reciprocates his smile and hugs his arm, his attempts at soothing her doubts weren’t much help though. He equated her love for high-market brands with his contentedness towards his job and Sean’s passion for what he wants to do with his life. Those circles didn’t exactly intersect on a diagram.
As they approach Ben’s new but heavily used grey car, he frees his arm to pull open the stubborn passenger side door.
Danielle wrinkles her nose at the musty, old interior but shakes it off and slides in. Any complaints she had regarding her boyfriend’s “new” car had already been voiced and met with a good-natured laugh. Like she was simply a child whining about getting the wrong flavor of ice cream. Now that her and the…car had gotten better acquainted, Danielle found an odd sort of comfort in it.
It was different for sure – but the seat was always adjusted to her height, and the pink aux cord was an unmistakable mark of her (she had seen it at a gas station when he was filling up the tank and within minutes she was blasting pop music through his speakers). He always grabbed her hand and held it in front of the gear shift. There was a spot on the hood of the car that she’d always lean against whenever she was waiting for him to get off from work (and maybe he had lifted her to sit on top of the hood while they made out that one time but it’s not like she thought about that a lot).
In that moment, as she’s plugging her phone into the aux, Danielle realizes something. That even if she still puts a lot of weight onto what she’s used to – designer purses and expensive make up – she’s also beginning to enjoy these new things too. Old cars, her boyfriend’s callused hands, the boathouse, even the rain.
-
It briefly occurred to Danielle that this was the first time Ben had ever brought her home (even though it was just so he could take a quick shower). Growing up she had never expressed any sort of desire to enter the Evans Manor, much preferring her family’s literal mansion. Things she was used to – things she understood – brought comfort to her. But that was in the past, now Danielle was finding comfort in the things that reminded her of Ben.
This small townhouse at the end of a street she had never been on was already bringing warmth to her chest.
Everything was cozy and squished together with framed photos taking up most of the wall space. The whole place was also surprisingly very clean for a bachelor pad.
Danielle remembered the week that Ben’s mother left town without ever planning on coming back. Leaving her two sons and her husband alone. She remembered this because it was the first time she had ever seen the normally put together Ben falling to pieces.
She was ashamed to say the main reason it stuck in her head was because it had all happened a week before her 10th birthday in which Ben had somberly declined the invitation. Danielle had taken so much offense to this that she had yelled in his face that she was never inviting him to another one of her parties. And then the whole town began to whisper about the mother who chose to abandon her family.
That was one of the first times Danielle had ever genuinely apologized to someone and even now she still shudders at how rude she was at such a young age.
Her fingers traced over an old photo of Ben and Sean in middle school, both covered with mud and laughing like there was no issue. Part of her was disgusted, but the part that won out made her smile. She’s glad that Ben hadn’t been alone and miserable and gossiped about since his mother left.
“That was our first race…” Ben’s fond voice sounds out from the doorway that leads to the hallway connected to all the bedrooms and bathrooms.
Secretly, Danielle is hoping that he’s wearing nothing but a towel. Unfortunately, when she turns to look at him he’s wearing the standard flannel over a t-shirt and jeans. She swallows her disappointment and reasons that no matter what state of dress he’s in, Ben still gives her butterflies.
She licks her lips and looks back to the wall of pictures, “What’s your brother doing?”
“Sleeping at a friend’s… Apparently they’ve planned an early morning fishing trip.” As he responds, he makes his way across the room until he’s standing next to her.
Without looking at him she says, “Well that sounds absolutely dreadful…”
He laughs, “They’re not so bad, you get to see an incredible sunrise…”
Danielle scoffs, “I don’t love the sunrise enough to sacrifice precious sleep.” He laughs again and then she adds, “What about your dad?” Her eyes found a photo with Mr. Evans and she smiled, Ben had his eyes.
Ben followed her gaze, “He lives in the city over because of his job – he works for a construction company up there… Usually he’ll come and stay here every other weekend.”
Danielle turns and looks up at him, shocked, “Construction? I thought your dad was the groundkeeper for the campsites!” She ignores that the first thing that her mind locks onto is the fact that Ben will be home alone tonight.
He nodded, impressed that she actually remembered something like that, “Yeah, he loved that job too but…it wasn’t really bringing in enough to take care of us. Especially after mom left and it was just him making the money. The construction job paid better and gave him a place to stay so…”
She swallowed, still looking up at him, “How long has he been working there?”
“It was a really hard choice for him. He waited till I turned fifteen to take the job.” Ben replied.
Danielle was quiet, her chest had begun to hurt at the thought that Ben had been taking care of the house and his younger brother for two years and she had no idea. He didn’t seem to have any complaints or anything on top of all that.
“That’s a lot of expectations to put on a fifteen-year-old…” Danielle said softly.
Her tone pushed Ben to look down at her, surprised by her melancholy expression. He nudged her comfortingly, “Maybe it was a lot at first but clearly it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.” He gestured to the cozy home he had managed to take care of this whole time. “Besides, you’re in a similar boat. Your mom leaves on business trips all the time, yeah?”
Danielle shook her head, almost wanting to laugh at how wrong his statement sounded to her. She took a few steps back before sitting on the arm of the tiny couch, “But we have people that come and clean the house and cook for me… Up until this year we had someone on staff that would drive me wherever I wanted… That’s not even close to what you’ve been doing.”
Ben follows her and takes a seat on the couch, scooting over so that Danielle can slide off the arm and into the spot next to him. Instantly, she puts her legs across his lap and begins to fiddle with the frayed hem of his sleeve.
“Danielle,” He says finally – she looks up at him hesitantly, “I’m not one to linger on the things that have happened to me in the past… As far as I’m concerned, I’m more than happy with where I’ve ended up because of all the things that have happened.” He brought his hand up to cup her cheek, “You especially.”
Danielle can feel her whole body going hot, as if the small home had suddenly transformed into a sauna. Her heart is beating so incredibly loud, she wonders if he can hear it. If he can feel it. In that moment, Danielle knows this is all she’s ever wanted. Being tangled up with Ben Evans on his couch, hopefully for the rest of her life.
Without a second thought, she moves to straddle his hips and rest her hands on his shoulders. She doesn’t miss his eyes shining up at her as she says, “I’d like to kiss you now…”
He smiles and brings his hands to her waist, “I’d like that quite a bit.”
Without the fear of being interrupted, the two of them forget to go out for dinner. Instead favoring the feeling of teeth grazing collarbones and hands running all over bare skin. Kisses muffling a mixture of laughter and moans that would otherwise be heard through the paper-thin walls. They’re both glowing, the most beautiful they’ve ever been to one another.
And then the following morning is a rush of running around trying to find where Danielle threw all her clothes.
v.
As Danielle enters the lodge, her and Ben lock eyes.
He watches her from behind the counter, having no clue what he wants to say to her. His mouth feels like it’s been wired shut and his brain can’t provide him with any of the right words. Luckily, she makes the decision for him as she huffs and immediately stomps her way to the juice bar. Barely sparing him another glance.
Ben lets out a sigh and turns his attention back to one of the room phones he’s been trying to fix for almost an hour. He’s this close to just buying a new one out of pocket so Skye doesn’t start freaking out about the monthly budget that she had already capped off.
“Damn.” Says the voice next to him, “Things really are bad in the Evans and Clarke paradise aren’t they?”
He sends Alex a look, he had almost gotten to the point that he could ignore all of her snarky remarks. Unfortunately that didn’t last long now that she had managed to pick up on something fresh.
Looking back down at the phone, Ben says, “What makes you say that?” As soon as it leaves his mouth, he knows how stupid it sounds.
Alex hops up to sit on the front desk, “Ha! Are you joking right now? Please tell me you are. Because I have fucking eyes Benjamin. Last week Danielle almost hopped over the damn desk just so she could shove her tongue down your throat. And just a minute ago she didn’t even feel like waving or anything. You don’t need to be a genius to see the issue here.” She straightened up a bit, “Although I am also a genius, don’t you forget that.”
Ben’s fiddling with the phone had halted as Alex’s words set in. She was right, Danielle was nothing if not very open when it came to showing him affection. It surprised him a bit when they first started dating since she wasn’t really like that when she was with Sean. Although he could venture a guess that she didn’t want Sean thinking she was clingy. For a moment he’s comforted by the thought that Danielle feels secure enough in their relationship to know that he won’t be bothered by how hands-on she can be at times. And then he remembers that it’s been several days since he last got to touch her.
He groans and pushes the phone away, hiding his face in his hands.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Alex asks, sounding more casual than anything else.
Ben, without looking at her says, “Why? I doubt you care about my relationship problems at any level.”
She nods, “You’re right. I truly can’t be bothered to get involved in all the pointless relationship drama that happens here. But you and Danielle are the only couple that’s together right now and shockingly this is your first fight so I figure I can give you a pass.”
“It’s not our first fight.” Ben says from his hands.
The two of them bicker about a lot of things but it’s never something taken personally, and they always manage to find common ground. Usually.
Alex rolls her eyes, “Fine. Your first major fight. That work better for you? I’m trying to lend you an ear Evans the least you could do is be cooperative.”
Ben finally looks at her with an annoyed expression. She responds with a smirk.
He and Alex have never really been all that close, the two of them might be even more different than him and Danielle. By all means he has no real reason to talk about his problems with her. But it’s in that moment that he realizes he has nobody else to talk to.
He can’t talk about this with Skye for obvious reasons, Sean barely has time to answer text messages now much less a phone call. It’d be nice if he could talk to his dad about this, but he wasn’t able to come home for another two weeks. Ben didn’t want to wait that long to fix this problem.
So, with a sigh, Ben starts, “You remember Skye throwing that huge bonfire event last weekend?”
Alex scoffs, “She sprung it on all of us and gave everyone like three days to prepare. I still haven’t stopped complaining to her about that.”
He nods, “Right, it was a lot of extra work out of nowhere, but it was a total success and got the lodge a lot of good publicity. Which it needed in order to detach from the whole Gil era.”
Shockingly, Alex is still listening. He was really expecting her to get bored and cut him off at this point.
“Unfortunately, even though the event itself worked out great, it ended up draining all of this month’s expense budget. So we’ve started going over into next month’s budget.”
Alex nodded in recognition; you couldn’t go two seconds without Skye bringing it up in some capacity.
Ben ran a hand through his hair, “The thing is – Danielle had told Skye it was a bad idea to do this last second without looking into how it would affect our finances. Skye refused to change her mind and…and so Danielle wanted me to convince her this wasn’t smart.”
“Ah.” Alex said, putting the pieces together, “And you were on Skye’s side.”
He nodded, “I agreed that it was important to make sure the public knew as soon as possible that the lodge was different now.”
“So you went and sided with the girl who’s into you but isn’t your girlfriend?” She stated with a smirk.
Ben frowned at her, “H…How do you even know about that?’
She giggled condescendingly, “Oh please Benjamin, I’m pretty sure you’re the only person in this lodge that didn’t pick up on Skye’s schoolgirl crush.”
He stared at her for a few seconds before sighing, “How am I always the last to find out about these things?” He began to fiddle with a cup of pens that guests used to sign various forms whenever they checked in.
Alex grabbed a pen from the cup and began to click it, “Maybe because you spend all your time getting caught up in other people’s affairs that you don’t even realize what’s going on in your own life. It had taken you getting stranded on that island to notice Danielle’s thing for you. And that was because you were sick and tired of Skye and Sean’s shit.”
Ben swallowed, for someone who claimed to not care about their personal affairs, Alex seemed totally aware of everything that had taken place since she got there. He bit his tongue, not wanting to add the fact that Danielle did basically need to spell it out for him.
Still clicking away, Alex continued, “From what I’ve seen, Skye’s always kind of liked you. Even when she was dating pretty boy she kept you close – she needed somebody she could trust consistently. And once she realized it wasn’t good that she couldn’t trust her own boyfriend, she dumped Sean.” Finally getting bored of the pen, she put it back, “But because Danielle was faster, and actually insistent on dating you for whatever reason, Skye was too little too late.”
She sent Ben a smirk but was shocked to see a genuine frown on his face, his expression miserable.
He hated talking about this – hated being reminded that one of his best friends was dumped because of him. Everyone constantly reminding him how oblivious he was. He felt like this whole weird situation was his fault. If he had eased up on trying to be there for Skye…would Sean had stayed here with them?
Sensing the turmoil, Alex looks down at her lap, “If…If things had worked out differently – like, Skye had broken up with Sean sooner and had confessed to you earlier…do you think you’d be happier?”
Ben felt himself stop breathing, he wondered if time had stopped in those seconds where he processed what Alex was saying. The seconds following that were filled with flashes of a hypothetical world where him and Skye got back together. They’d go back to rock-climbing dates and homemade picnics together. She would smile and laugh and he would do the same – because of course they would, they always agreed with each other.
But it only took him a few seconds before he couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand that Danielle was nowhere in sight.
And all at once, he was hit with relief – with an intense wave of happiness – because Danielle was his reality. Every little thing that happened to lead them to this point, he had never been more glad that it happened because all of it lead him to her.
He wanted her, through all the eye rolling and high-pitched screams in response to any form of nature. Because even those parts of her were so incredibly precious to him.
“Can you watch the front for a second? I need to go talk to her.” He didn’t even give Alex a chance to reject him before he was out from behind the desk and making his way to the bar.
-
Danielle didn’t even know why she bothered coming. All just to sit and stare at a full glass of mango-kiwi juice that she couldn’t bring herself to drink.
She sighed; okay, maybe she did know why she came but thinking about it only succeeded in pissing her off.
As of right now, she was the only person in the entire café area. Even the employee had abandoned their post to go help clean vacant rooms. Although Danielle was certain that was a lie since Skye had been panicking about how few guests they currently had. Odds are they just didn’t want to be in a room alone with Danielle Clarke.
She felt a lump growing in her throat at the realization that people were probably always gonna hate her. The life she used to lead was catching up to her and now here she was, completely isolated.
People had any number of reasons to hate her. They went to school with her and saw some of the worst sides of her on a regular basis. They saw the way she behaved on any one of the stupid live shows this lodge has hosted.
She bit her lip, the last thing she wanted to do was have an emotional breakdown at the damn juice bar of all places. And to make matters worse, somebody had just taken a seat on the barstool next to her. Hadn’t anyone ever heard of personal space in this godforsaken town? She did her best to avoid looking in their direction, instead choosing to concentrate intensely on her juice as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world.
And then the person spoke, and Danielle hated the way that voice relieved all the tension in her body, “Danielle…I – I need to talk to you…”
Danielle scoffed, still refusing to look at him, “Why even bother when it’s nothing original?” They had already argued plenty for the week and Ben was very consistent in his defense of his actions. Never failing to miss what his actions meant to her.
He flinches at how cold her tone is, he hadn’t heard her sound like that since her and Sean broke up. When Sean hurt her. His chest felt heavy because now he was the one hurting her.
He so desperately wanted to grab her hand but he knew she’d tug her hand away like she’d been doing the past few days. But even now, as he watches her glare at a glass of juice and absolutely refusing to be close to him, the overwhelming joy that he’s with her remains. Suddenly, whatever they had been fighting about all this time, it doesn’t even matter anymore. Just her.
“I’m sorry… Is what I – uh – I wanted to say…to you.” He cringes, that probably could have been phrased a tad more eloquently.
But as soon as Danielle hears his words, she lets go of her straw and turns to look up at him. Still frowning but at least he had made progress.
And then she spoke, her tone still hostile as ever, “Of course you are…because you want this fight to be over as soon as possible so we can go back to having sex or doing homework together or both.”
Ben’s eyes go wide and he can feel his face getting warm, he shakes his head, “No… No Danielle that’s not – “
“Yes, it is. Why even apologize when I know you still think you were right?” It’s taking all her effort to keep her voice from trembling but the more she talks the bigger the lump in her throat gets. As much as she wants to push him away from her she also so desperately wants to fall forward and sob into his shoulder. She hates how much she loves him even when she doesn’t like him.
Ben picks up on the subtle warble in her voice and it makes his chest hurt. He did this. It’s his fault.
Danielle takes his silence as an admission that he still believes he was in the right and feels her eyes watering, “Typical. Let’s all make Danielle the bad guy just because she isn’t willing to drop everything to lick Skye’s fucking boots. I thought you liked that I didn’t think like everybody else but no – Danielle is still the insensitive asshole she’s always been.” She casually wipes the tears that are streaming down her cheeks.
The sight of her crying only hurts him even more, he’s fighting every instinct in his body telling him to comfort her.
‘She doesn’t want you to touch her…’
“I don’t think you’re the bad guy Danielle… I – I don’t think you’re an insensitive…that… I don’t even think you were wrong just because you didn’t agree with me…” He can’t believe he just left her alone to tear herself down like this. He turns towards the bar and sighs, “It’s… This…. Everything is my fault I – I wasn’t thinking about how my actions affected you I – I can’t…” He turns back and looks at her, “You didn’t deserve this and I managed to turn this into some ridiculous self-righteous whatever and… God you can’t imagine how upset with myself I am I…”
He trails off when he notices the way she’s looking at him.
Her glare replaced with an almost awestruck expression.
Right.
Of course.
Silly her.
Sean was the one who eventually caved so she’d be willing to jump back into bed with him. Ben was the one who let the guilt eat at him slowly, turning something she started into his fault. Hell, here he was genuinely apologizing to her and even if he didn’t think he was in the wrong that didn’t stop him from feeling bad for what he did. And now that she sees just how awful he feels, she can’t help but realize how little this fight mattered. How did something so little get blown up this big?
Ben finally manages to find his voice again, “I – I’m sorry that it always seems like I’m choosing Skye… I’m not sure why that keeps happening but…I want you to know this. I’m glad I’m with you. I’m glad Skye chose Sean. I’m glad we both fell in that cave. I’m glad for every insane thing that happened to bring us here and if the universe were to reset and I’d get a do over I… I’d always wanna end up back here. With you.”
And then Danielle was speechless.
She’s not sure why she expected any different from him when she’s known him to be a major sap all his life.
“With…me…” She breathes out, as if she’s still trying to process this.
Ben nods, desperate to finally get this fact into her head, “Not anybody else…”
At that, Danielle begins to tear up again. All this time she had been stuck in this cruel loop of constantly comparing herself to Skye and waiting for Ben to finally get tired of her. Even when the exact opposite seemed to be happening, the comparisons continued. And now her boyfriend was telling her that he would always choose her over any other projected future.
As her vision began to blur, Danielle said, “I… This isn’t your fault Ben… I’m sorry that I never trust you… That I – I always just assume you do nice things for Skye because you have some…some agenda. I just - …. I know I can never be her and I thought that’s what you wanted – for me to be her.”
Ben leaned forward towards her but stopped himself from touching her, “No! Danielle I…I want you to be you. I want to be with you… I’m sorry that I made you feel like you – you needed to be somebody else…”
In a second, Danielle had leaned fully forward so she could hide her face in his chest, “But that’s just it Ben… You never made me feel that way. All this time I – I’ve been assuming what you wanted and I… You want me… Just me… And you’ve been telling me that all this time and I just – I didn’t listen.”
Ben doesn’t respond, he’s too busy getting drowned in heat and happiness and relief that she’s touching him. He can feel her tears beginning to stain his shirt and her sharp manicure claw into his biceps and the scent of overpriced perfume filling his nose. His senses are overwhelmed by her and he realizes how badly he missed her – how much he hated being mad at her.
And although he’s certain that they’ll have plenty of big fights, Ben hopes with every fiber of his being that they never need to worry about not belonging to one another.