Chapter Text
"Bitch!" Tommy taunted, running higher on the hill to gain leverage, "Now feel the wrath of Big Man TommyInnit!" He lunged towards his opponent, his netherite sword glowing brightly as the sunlight hit it.
"Such a child..." Wilbur muttered, pulling out his own weapon, "Fine. You win." He placed the last sticks of dynamite down and held out the lighter teasingly.
Tommy's eyes widened, "Will, don't-" the grass in front of him blew up in his face. He spit the dirt and grass out of his mouth and coughed from the smoke the explosion had left behind, "Classic Wilbur move." He moped. No way was he going to let Wilbur know he won their duel, but he sighed.
Wilbur retrieved a tiny bottle with glowing hot pink liquid inside. He took a big swig, draining half the bottle. Almost instantaneously, his face softened, wrinkles disappearing, scars retreating, and face sharpening, "Ah, that's much better."
"Gimmie." Tommy snatched the bottle from Wilbur's hands and chugged the rest. Sadly, the after-effects didn't work on him, "Ugh. What kind of shit regen potion is this?" He asked distastefully.
Wilbur chuckled and took the bottle back, "Not regen, they're potions that make you look younger," he gestured to his face, "I'm technically forty-five or something, but I look like I'm twenty-five now. Works wonders, right?"
"But see, I am Big Man, I don't get younger or older. I simply just am," he boasted with extreme confidence, "Anyways, I have important meetings to attend to, fantastic duel, good sir," he tipped off an imaginary hat before speeding away in the direction of his house.
"Sure, Tommy."
***
Tommy slid the purple and white disc inside the jukebox and relaxed back on the small bench in front of it. He sent a quick message to his friends:
-You guys can come now lol😺🤪
-The cat's away 🐭😺now the mice will play 😎🐭🤪
He suddenly felt very giddy, his friends were coming over! Oh, but what would they play? There would be no standing around awkwardly on this playdate.
He pulled on a brown leather jacket and caught himself in the mirror, "Dang, I look good," he stared there for a good thirty seconds before he noticed it was longer than his body and dripped down to his feet.
Looking at himself now, he kind of looked like one of those movie detectives, with a brown trenchcoat, a checkered hat, and a magnifying glass, "Hello, there. It's me, Private Eye TommyInnit, but you can call me DetectiveInnit. Sorry Ma'am, we're not on a first-name basis yet.
The first mystery he wanted to solve was the deep rumbling in his stomach. There must've been some food around here, right?"
He looked through the kitchen and scanned it for any food to eat. There were golden apples, golden carrots, there was a whole lot of steak. Jeez, nothing for him to eat.
He spotted a cookie at the top of the counter and tried to jump at it but failed miserably. There was no way Big Boy Tommy was going to give up, though. He pushed a chair over to where the counter was and started to climb it, but was cut off by loud knocking.
"Tommy! Open the door!"
Huh? Someone was calling his name? Somewhere, he recognized the voice maybe it belonged to his dad. He waddled over to the door and jumped up to grab the handle, "Unh!" He grumbled, tumbling to the floor as the door swung open.
He landed on a soft pile of cloth, "Blankie?" He muttered to himself. All this jumping around was making him tired. A nap would be nice. He snuggled under the red-and-white blanket, shutting his eyes peacefully.
Just as he was about to drift off, his blanket was torn off him and bony, slender hands with sharp claws lifted him up into their arms. Tommy stared furiously at the intruder, his green and red eyes ticking him off even more, 'Just pick a color, weirdo.'
"Awww. What's your name, little guy?"
The intruder bounced him lightly in his arms and booped his nose ever-so-lightly, Tommy had had it with this man. First, he barged into his home like he owned the place, then he removed Tommy's source of warmth, and now he was probably trying to kidnap him. The man was about to say something but Tommy decided to act fast. He raised his tiny fist and slammed it into the man's two-toned face. Hah. That'll teach him a lesson.
The two-toned man's kind stare shifted to a narrow glare, the red and green of his eyes boring into Tommy's soul.
Tommy quickly decided that he was scared of the man and did the only thing he could think of at the moment. Cry as loudly as he could.
Ranboo froze, watching the baby scrunch up his nose and let out long sobs. The tears dripped from his small, sky-blue eyes, scalding Ranboo's skin lightly, "Ooh! Uh, Tubbo?" He quickly dropped the child to give it to Tubbo, but he missed so the kid just went straight to the ground.
"Whoa!" Tubbo swooped down and scooped up the child, "It's okay, big man, I've got you, shhhh," he also began rocking Tommy back and forth in his arms, shooting Ranboo a light glare.
"Hey! He burnt me, okay?" Ranboo defended over the loud screaming.
Tommy soon grew tired of crying, even though he was extremely mad at the guy who had almost dropped him on his head, 'I feel sorry for your children,' Tommy thought, staring up at the taller man. He turned his gaze back to the man who was currently holding him and bouncing him. Tommy's screams sobered to small hiccups, 'I like this man. He saved my life.' Tommy stared up into the other's ocean-blue eyes, much more comforting than whatever was going on with the tall man's eyes.
"Hey, I'm Tubbo." The man smiled down at him softly, "Can you say it? Tub-O?"
"T-t-t..." Tommy struggled with the word. Instead, he said, "Bo!"
Tubbo chuckled, "Sure. Bo, it is."
Ranboo looked down at the child, "I'm Ranboo,"
"Boo-Boob?" Tommy fumbled for the right sounds, "Boob!"
"No that's not-" Ranboo shook his head, "Being in Tommy's house must have some sort of effect on him," Ranboo frowned, "Actually, where is Tommy?"
"T-t-" He struggled with the letter again, "Mommy!"
Both men looked down at Tommy curiously, "Is he looking for his mother or something?"
Honestly, the nerve of this man. Tommy decided to correct 'Boob' "Mommy! Ommy!" He wiggled in Tubbo's arms to signify he meant himself, "Mommy!"
"I think he wants his mom, Tubbo," The stupid boob speculated.
"Nah, looks like he's doing something else," Tubbo observed the movements very carefully, "Ommy? Is that who you are? Mommy, perhaps?"
Something clicked in Ranboo's brain, "Tommy?"
Finally, the man grew a brain. Tommy squealed in appreciation.
"Tommy?!"