Chapter Text
Time has never been Tommy’s friend. Time has never been Tommy’s enemy either. Time has just waited, watching from the sidelines. But today that changes. Because today, Tommy’s time is up.
“Bee, are you there?” He desperately shouts, the voice modifier built into his red and white mask deepening his voice.
“Theseus! I’m so sorry, something came up. The rockets should be working.” Tommy grins as he hears his partner in crime's voice come through the earpiece. He cackles. Time would have to wait another day.
He runs down the first alleyway he sees, knowing that it leads to a dead end. He skids to a stop, finally facing the tall man chasing him.
Tommy, a well known vigilante, has pissed off SB. inc, a weapon supply company. Specifically, the three CEOs. Unlike most companies, these three men do the dirty work. And they are all supposedly invincible.
Chorus, a tall man who is never seen without his iconic trench coat. It reaches his mid calf, sitting comfortably against his black cargo pants. The yellow sweater that sits underneath looks softer than anything Tommy has ever owned.
Chorus’ power is his voice. It renders any ability that his opponent has useless. In a world where everyone relies on their power, this quirk is ideal. However, it doesn’t work against Tommy. Tommy does not have any powers.
The King, or as Tommy likes to call him, Blade, is never seen without his longsword. A sword that has cut down millions, but never shows it’s wear. The shiny metal paired with a gold hilt perfectly matches the King’s personality. He always has been one for theatrics, and this sword is no different. A blade is only as powerful as it’s wielder, and in this case the two are unstoppable.
Tommy isn’t sure what the King’s quirk is, but he knows that it’s something powerful. He is the Blade, after all. The King always wears his robe, a beautiful red fabric with white lining. He wears a ruffled blouse underneath, with lots of leather straps for his potions and other knick knacks. He has his pink hair tied in one, neat braid. When he fights, not a strand comes undone. A crown is on his head, the item that gave him his title. In fact, it was The King who came up with Tommy’s vigilante name, Theseus. Some shit about him falling off a building when his tech malfunctioned.
Tommy doesn’t really get it.
Lastly, The Angel of Death. A man who has supposedly faced Death herself, and got away. He came back from Death’s grasp with a pair of black wings. When he flies above the city, these wings cast shadows for miles. Without his wings, Tommy thinks he dresses like a grandpa. He wears a green robe and a weird looking bucket hat, green and white striped. He has long blonde hair, always kept in a loose ponytail. He could be Tommy’s dad, with the blonde hair and his old age. Tommy believes his quirk is his wings, as they can retract, but he can’t be sure.
That brings us back to now, with one of the three men right in front of Tommy.
“Hey Chorus, what's up?” Tommy says, pulling his red hoodie further over his hair.
“What’s up? What’s up? You know what’s up, Theseus? The fact that you busted our next seven shipments and you’re not even a hero?” Chorus’ face is turning the funny red colour it does when he is really mad.
“Being a hero is overrated.” Tommy sweats under his red hoodie.
“You little--- But because you're not a hero no one will look for you when I kill you.” The highrise buildings on either side of them cast dark shadows on the tall man's face, causing his brown eyes to almost look manic. Tommy feels a weird notion of deja vu wash over him. He shakes it off.
“They won’t have to find me because you’re not catching me today, bitch!” Tommy chuckles at the growing rage on the man's face.
He quickly scans his surroundings before spotting a fire escape that is a little too high off the ground for a normal person to reach, just behind Chorus. Unfortunately for Chorus, Tommy is not a normal person. He has Tubbo’s rocket shoes.
“What do you mean I’m not catching you? I’ve literally cornered you!” Chorus’ brown hair wiggles when he’s angry, Tommy notes. That’s funny. He lets out a small giggle before punching Chorus square in the face. He looks more stunned than anything, not expecting the young boy to pull such a stupid move. He snaps back to it after a second of shock. Fortunately for Tommy, that’s all the time he needs to move past the man.
Time to test out these rocket boosters. Tommy clicks his heels together, pressing the discreet buttons together. He does the same with his hands, locating the buttons on his palm quickly. Flame bursts out of the pipes, propelling him up and onto the rusty fire escape. Tommy is rarely allowed to use the rocket boosters, so he has a wobbly landing.
Tommy loses his balance, but manages to angle his fall onto the steps of the fire escape. He jumps up and stumbles up the stairs. He reaches the top of the fire exit with no troubles and uses his rocket power to get onto the roof of the building.
“See you later, emo boy!” Tommy cackles before running out of sight, leaping across buildings out of trouble and on his way home.
-----------
“Tubbo, I’m home!” Tommy yells as he chucks his keys in the bowl next to the front door of their dingy apartment. Then he sees it. Cue a dramatic gasp.
“Tubbo, Toob, boss man, you’ve replaced me!” Oh the betrayal, Tommy will never forgive him.
“Tommy, you dramatic fuck, come sit and maybe I’ll introduce you.” Tubbo glares at him from where he was standing in their ancient kitchenette. Tommy walks, sulking the whole way, over to their raggy, old sofa sitting down at the opposite end to a boy.
“Tommy, this is Ranboo, Ranboo, Tommy.” Tommy looks at the slender boy. He is wearing a purple hoodie and has split dyed hair. Tommy is very suspicious. Sus. Vote purple. Now, how to get this man out of his apartment?
“Nice to meet you, Ranboob.”
“Actually it's Ranbo--” Boobster looks very uncomfortable. Good.
“Irrelevant boob man. How tall are you?” Another glare from Tubbo, but Tommy ignores it and leans back on the old couch.
“Umm...” Hah, real smart boob boy. Can’t keep up with the intelligence of the amazing Tommy.
“Ranboo you don’t have to answer that,” Oh, Tubbo’s going to kill him. Whatever, anything is better than having this stupid boob guy in their tiny apartment. Poor guy might hit his head on a doorway. That would be a shame. “Tommy is just being a dramatic shit.”
“No, no it’s fine, I’m 6”6.” He’s what! No one has ever been 6”6!
“Tubbo, we can’t keep him, he's taller than me. It will ruin our whole dynamic.” Tommy’s so tall and cool, no one should change that. He can’t get out grown by some random prick!
“Tommy, we’re keeping him. He can teleport.” Tubbo widens his eyes, telling him what exactly Boob would be teleporting for.
“Oh really? And why would that be important?” Tommy is not giving away his identity this easily.
“You know why! And so does he!” Tommy’’s train of thought stops at that.
“You told him? Tubbo that could completely ruin… well, everything!” Why would Tubbo tell this idiot their big secret?
“I know, I’m sorry, but in my defence he walked in on me redesigning your hoodie.” All of Tommy’s previous thoughts are forgotten when he hears of new technology.
“Oh, is it done now, can I see it?” Tommy practically buzzes with excitement.
“No, sorry big man, I had to stop when Ranboo appeared in our living room.” Tubbo lies down on the couch, his curly head of brown hair in Tommy’s lap, and his hoofed feet in Ranboo’s. This feels all wrong! Tubbo never lies down in Tommy’s lap. He always sits where Ranboo sits!
Tubbo is a ram hybrid, and Tommy’s best friend. He can use powerless tech, making him a great partner for a broke, quirkless vigilante.
“Ok so Ranboo, before I decide whether or not to kick you out, what do you know?” Tommy definitely was calling the shots here.
“Umm well, I know that you’re the vigilante Theseus. And I think that’s it?”
Tommy shuts his blue eyes and folds his legs up under himself. This Ranboo dude is stupid and he just wants to go to sleep.
“Well how did you get in here?” Tommy asks, trying to speed the conversation up.
“I kind of teleported? I teleport into random people’s apartments when money’s tight. Take some stuff that I can pawn off easily. Normally at 4 in the morning those people are asleep, but Tubbo here was working on your hoodie and I recognised it. He held me at gunpoint and now we’re here.”
Tommy lets out a loud laugh.
“Tubbo, I love you again. Oh that's so funny.” Tommy’s blonde curls bounce around as he laughs.
“Great Tommy. I’m just letting you know that Ranboo is staying with us. He doesn’t have a place to stay, and I think it is better here than on the streets.” Tommy nods, understanding just too much what sleeping on a bench is like.
“Guess I’ll allow it.” Tommy sighs, getting up and walking to their bedroom.
He reaches it in just three steps, ducking under the doorway.
“I’m going to try and get some sleep, then.”
Tubbo gets up from the couch as well, and promptly jumps into the mess of pillows and old blankets.
Tommy sighs as he sees Ranboo sitting on the couch awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
“C’mon dude, you can’t sleep on that old thing. Pretty sure a raccoon pissed on it at some point.”
Ranboo looks up quickly with his green and red eyes, surprised at being addressed. He assumed he would make do on the uncomfortable couch.
“Unless you don’t want to, which is entirely okay, just know the offer is there.” Tommy smiles tiredly.
Ranboo seems to be considering for a couple seconds until he gets up and walks into the bedroom after Tommy.
“Sorry it’s not much big man, there's only one mattress. We were lucky enough to find this one.”
“No, that's fine dude. Better than the piss couch.”
Tommy laughs. Maybe this guy isn’t so bad.
And that was that. Their duo became a trio.
-----------
Techno glances up from his book, brushing his pink locks out of his face. He watches as Wilbur throws his trenchcoat on the floor before lying down on the couch with a huff.
Techno rolls his eyes, exasperated by his behaviour. He goes back to his book. It was just reaching the climax when Techno hears Wilbur sighing again.
He ignores him in favour of the book, turning a page. When Wilbur sighs a third time, Techno knows he isn’t going to get out of this one by ignoring him.
“What’s wrong, dude?” Techno asks in his monotone voice, pulling his reading glasses off his nose and putting them into his pocket.
“Theseus is what’s wrong! How have we still not brought him in? He’s been terrorising our group for months.” Wilbur says, turning over on the couch to face Techno.
“Oh my god Wil, are you still caught up on that man?” Techno reaches for his reading glasses, sick of Wilbur’s antics.
“He ruined our next seven shipments. All the weapons that we ordered, gone!” Wilbur glares at Techno.
“Just say you’re obsessed with him, Wil! There’s nothing we can do to get him without all three of us going after him. He’s too slippery and frankly, he isn’t that much of a hindrance to us.”
This ‘fight’ with the SBI and Theseus has been going on for months, and not one of their members has been able to capture him.
“Well why don’t we all go after him then?” Wilbur says excitedly, completely ignoring the second comment.
“We don’t need to use those kinds of resources on some random vigilante.” Wilbur rolls over, going back to his moping.
Techno hates it when Wilbur sulks.
“I’ll tell you what, Wil, if Theseus actually does something that pisses me off, I’ll convince Phil to help us bring him in.” Techno knows that if he asks Phil, his dad will know that the problem is actually important, not just Wilbur being a sook.
“Really Tech? Oh yes, that's so exciting! I wonder how long it will take for him to piss you off?” Wilbur starts to ramble as Techno puts his reading glasses back on his nose. He tries to drown out Wilbur.
What had he agreed to?
------------
Tommy rubs the sleep out of his eyes, slowly stretching as the sun pours in through the curtains above his head.
He rolls over, ignoring the daylight when a large sack of rocks are dropped on top of him. He turns over, sputtering and gasping. Turns out it was not a sack of rocks, just Tubbo. His horns bump Tommy’s hands as Tommy tries to push him off.
“Tubbo, what the fuck man!” Tommy sits up, finally taking in his surroundings.
“I need you to show Ranboo around, and your shift starts at 8, it’s 7:20. You know it’s a ten minute walk, and Niki likes you to be there ten minutes early.”
Tommy gets out of bed reluctantly and grabs his green shorts, along with his name tag and a red and white shirt. He gives them a sniff, clearing them as ‘clean enough’ and throws them on.
Tommy walks into the living room, spying Tubbo and Ranboo with mismatched mugs. One reads 'world's best husband’ and the other ‘world’s best dad’. Tommy lets out a laugh.
“It’s almost as if you guys are married!” Tommy says through his laughter.
“That’s because we are.” Tubbo deadpans. If it was anyone else, Tommy thinks they would be being sarcastic. Tubbo, not so much. He shrugs it off. Weirder things have happened.
“Whatever, c’mon Ranboo, Tubbo wants me to show you around before we head into work.”
Tommy grabs his keys and Ranboo follows suit.
“How do you already have keys? I had to wait four months before I was allowed.” Tommy whines.
“That’s because you lost them three times before that!” He hears Tubbo yell from the apartment.
Wrong!
They walk downstairs in silence, Ranboo almost hitting his head on the staircase above.
“Ok dude, we’re going to take the long way, because I still have fifteen minutes before I have to be there.” Tommy tells Ranboo as they walk outside.
Tommy points to the cow shaped umbrella stand, “This is Henry. Henry is all knowing. Say hello, Ranboo.” Ranboo responds accordingly. Tommy is glad that he understands the worth of Henry.
“Now come along, we have a lot to cover.” They walk through the poorer part of the city, Tommy pointing out random landmarks.
“Why isn’t Tubbo going to work?” asks Ranboo.
“He starts later, down at the mechanics. Do you know Sam, Ranboo?” As Ranboo shakes his head no, Tommy points at the big industrial looking building behind them.
“That’s Sam’s. Don’t tell him we’re underage, he’ll have a fit. You can’t work as a mechanic unless you’re 18 or over. How old are you anyway?”
“Just turned 15 last month.” Ranboo replies, puffing his chest out proudly. The older you are, the longer you have survived.
“Tubbo’s 15 and I’m 14, but everyone thinks we’re 18. Bit mature for our age, I reckon.” Tommy grins widely.
They reach the park, about five minutes away from his work. Suddenly, Ranboo teleports across the park and back.
“What the fuck man?!” Tommy yells, shocked by the sudden movement.
“Sorry. I just saw this, over there. I wanted to give it to you. A symbol of our new friendship.” Ranboo holds out an allium.
A small, purple flower, barely blooming. It must have not been planted for very long. Tommy reaches out and sticks it behind his ear.
“Let’s go big man, I’ve got a job to do.” Tommy turns his back and starts walking towards the bakery that he works at.
He can’t see the smile that blooms on Ranboo’s face, brighter than any flower.
------------
Tommy and Ranboo reach Tommy’s work. A small bakery on the good side of the city. A sweet sign hangs from the door, reading closed. Tommy pushes against the big door, holding it open for Ranboo to walk in.
“Hey Niki! I’ve bought a friend. Meet Ranboo!” Tommy yells, walking behind the counter and putting his name tag on.
“Oh that’s great, Tommy. Bad called in sick so it’s just you and me. Actually, you know what? How good is your friend at making muffins?” Niki tucks her pink hair behind her ears as she walks out from the kitchen. She brushes flour off her hands before reaching out to shake Ranboo’s.
“I can’t say I’ve ever tried, ma’am.” Ranboo looks over to Tommy, who is writing something down on a piece of paper.
“That’s okay, for all we know, you could be a natural!” Niki smiles kindly at Ranboo before dragging him into the kitchen.
“Here's a shirt, that should fit you right. Your pants seem okay for now. Grab an apron off the hook and Tommy can sort out a name tag. Watch your head here, I know, I’ve got to fix that sign.” Niki rambles as Ranboo tries to take everything in. “Tommy! Grab Ranboo a name tag.”
Niki teaches Ranboo how to make the muffins for the shop while Tommy sets up the tables and fixes the front cabinets.
Soon enough it’s 9’oclock, time to open the shop.
“Here you go Ranboo, this is your name tag.” Tommy hands the small piece of plastic over to Ranboo. “Come with me and I’ll show you how stuff out the front works.”
Tommy quickly walks through the simple stuff at the front of the shop, like basic customer service and how to take orders.
“And that should be enough for your first day. Any questions, come to ask Niki or myself.” Tommy gives him a big smile before flipping the ‘close’ sign to read ‘open’.
“It normally isn’t too busy this early, but it is a Saturday. Thank you so much for helping out, might earn us a few extra bucks.” Tommy whispers.
The first few hours run smoothly, the two boys seating people and taking orders while Niki mans the coffee machine. Ranboo gets the hang of it soon enough, knowing where to duck to avoid the low hanging lights.
The door rings as three tall figures move inside, waiting to be seated. Ranboo is busy balancing the little china cups as he makes his way over to one of the tables. Tommy finishes what he is scrawling down on his notepad, giving another order to Niki before turning to face the three people.
“Hello! How are you--” Tommy stops in his tracks as he sees the three people properly for the first time.
The three villains look down at him, Chorus with one eyebrow raised.
They don’t recognise him, Tommy sighs with relief.
“Sorry there lads, cat got my tongue. Table for three was it?” Tommy gets nods of affirmation, so he seats them as far away from the pink counter as possible.
As he takes a closer look, he’s surprised at how, well, normal they look. The Angel of Death, without his wings and his hair in a loose plait. Chorus has glasses on his nose and gold jewels decorating his ears. The one who appears the most different is the King, whose hair is let down. It flows down his shoulders, resting on his white shirt. He has a pair of glasses in his pocket, and instead of his usual crown a small tiara sits on his head.
“Excuse me Tommy.” A small voice from behind pulls him from his thoughts.
“Yeah, what’s up Ranboo?” Tommy wipes down the SBI’s white table as he replies.
“I was just wondering how much additional syrups are in coffees?” Ranboo asks meekly, fiddling with a salt shaker.
“Just 20 cents for most of them and 30 for Niki’s secret spice, big man, '' Tommy replies, cringing at the name of the spice.
“Thanks, dude.” Ranboo smiles as he scurries off to whatever he was doing before.
“So, what can I help you guys with? I’ll grab your drinks first and then food if you want it?” Tommy asks, putting on his best customer service voice.
“I’ll have one chocolate milkshake, one black coffee and an iced latte with some of that secret spice, if that’s alright?” Chorus recites their order as Tommy scribbles it down.
“Great, that will be right over, boss man.” Tommy gets away as fast as he can.
“Phil. That’s him. That’s Theseus. Or at least he knows who Theseus is.” Wilbur accuses.
“Oh come on Wil, that’s rubbish.” Phil says, tired of the constant accusations coming from him. That’s the third blonde kid this week!
“No hear me out. Who calls people boss man other than Theseus? That’s got to be him. And he definitely knew who we were. Let’s take him in right now. What do you say, Techno?” Wilbur says excitedly, ready to pounce on the poor waiter.
“Wilbur, that's not Theseus. Our Theseus has to be at least 20, given his voice and technology. Those kinds of resources cannot be accessed by a kid. Look at him. He can’t be a day over 16! And besides, everyone knows who we are, you idiot!” Phil whisper-yells at Wilbur
Techno grabs a book from his pocket and puts his glasses on his nose. He can’t deal with Wilbur’s shit today.
Wilbur huffs crossing his arms.
“Besides, mate, if Niki caught us taking one of her employees, she would never let us in here again!” Phil rolls his eyes at WIlbur's antics. He loves the bakery and Niki would be right pissed if they took some random kid.
Just as Wilbur goes to open his mouth, Tommy comes over with the drinks.
“The chocolate milkshake?” Tommy asks and Phil points towards Techno.
The Blade has a sweet tooth? Tommy grins at his new found knowledge.
He hands the black coffee to Phil, and the iced latte to Wilbur.
“And what can I get you to eat, sir?” Tommy asks, directing the question to Phil.
“Sir? Please don’t call me that, I’m old enough. I’m Phil and this is Wilbur and Techno.” Techno, who has put his book down in favour of his milkshake, gives a small wave.
“Dad! You can’t just give away our identities to some kid!” Wilbur complains profusely.
“I’m not ‘some kid’ I am Tommy, the great! I am amazing and I will definitely rule the world now that I have your names.” Tommy grins as Phil chuckles.
“Sorry about him, mate. He likes to throw tantrums when things don’t go his way. You know that vigilante around here, Theseus? Well, Wilbur was accusing you, saying that you were him! Ridiculous, right?”
Tommy stiffens, but none of the villains are looking at him. He tries to calm his beating heart.
“That’s crazy! Wilbur, are you sure that you’re a top villain? With detective skills like that, you must be kidnapping lots of random kids off the street!” Tommy cringes, hoping he didn’t go too far with his teasing.
Wilbur grins at the boy. “You definitely aren’t Theseus. God, someone needs to teach that man a sense of humour.”
Tommy pouts internally, he has a great sense of humour, thank you very much!
“Oh, I bet that I’m so much better than that vigilante fuck. Was there anything else I can get you, pretty busy today and such.” Tommy pulls out his notepad.
“Can you grab me one of those muffins from the window?” Techno finally says something, looking up at Tommy.
“Sure thing, big man. Coming right up.” Tommy says with a smile, and relief of being allowed to leave the conversation.
“You know what Dad, I really like that kid. There’s no way he’s Theseus. I might have overreacted again.” Wilbur takes a sip, relaxing into the lace cushions on his chair.