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The Ninth Doctor had been out alone for a walk when it happened – perhaps at the nick of time. Especially since he nowadays had Jack Harkness on board the TARDIS, and the cheeky, handsome bugger kept making rather successful moves on Rose and him. Humans were lovely and all, with their hot skin, their passion, their delightful sensitivity… But they simply hadn’t the Doctor's stamina. And when this Time Lord got riled up for real, it was easy for him to get frustrated.
The sudden, illegally familiar telepathic caress made him sigh out loud. He turned around, and his hearts fluttered at the sight of his Tenth incarnation.
They had talked for a while now, mostly Ten catching up on his past timeline. Finally, with a knowing look between them, his successor pointed at his own blue box in the far distance.
The Doctor nodded and walked faster, past himself. The other did a double-take before catching up.
”Oi, aren’t you gonna sweep me off my feet and carry me till we’re over the doorstep?”
His past rolled his eyes. ”S’not very far, you can ruddy well walk there.”
”Tsk, Nine. You’re so practical. Way back you would’ve been all,” Ten grabbed one of his lapels and made a sweeping gesture to his chest, ”Why, my lascivious love, my strong arms shall keep you safe until we reach our home.”
”Too sappy,” Nine droned. ”More like,” he grinned too widely and lowered his voice, ”Come with me, my man. I bought a new flogger that just can’t wait to meet your arse.”
”Oh, my giddy aunt!” Ten cried, crouching a little and throwing his hands up.
Nine snorted, then tried his damnedest to put on a nasal, early 20th century Londoner’s accent: ”My dear fellow, I wouldn’t dream of doing anything you hadn’t agreed to.” He whipped his head around and shushed. ”Don’t be so loud, I think I hear Lethbridge-Stewart outside the door, what!”
Ten wheezed with laughter. ”Your Three is terrible!”
”Ah, yes, well, um,” Nine went on with a more exasperated voice, shoving his hands into his leather pockets, ”your Six – figuratively and literally, might I add – sucks.”
”Ooh, I love it when you’re cheeky…” Ten went sultry, sleepy and slightly Liverpudlian and pretended to toss hair that had once reached his shoulders. ”Makes me wanna take you home and have you for days…”
Eyes half-lidded, Nine did the same voice, cupping his hands in his own: ”Darling, sweethearts…”
Ten brought their hands to his lips and, suddenly Scottish and rolling his Rs, concurred: ”My dearest, most prrrecious butterfly.”
”You’re giving me the creeps over here,” Nine chuckled, Northern again. ”You nailed him!”
”I did, didn’t I.” His future grinned with radiant teeth. ”…And I’m not gonna spoil it, but the spoons were involved.”
”Oh for stars’ sake, seriously?” Nine threw his hands up. ”Am I gonna shag early Seven again? You’re literally insatiable, y’know that?”
”Aw, but he’s just so precious.” Ten lifted his chin, grabbing his lapels again: ”And so what if I did, hmm?”
”Not poor innocent little One, too,” said Nine woefully.
”What? One, innocent?” His future slapped his forehead. ”You’re kidding.”
Nine quit the theatrics and went back to the contented, just a little bit sassy tone. ”Well, he’s not as damn perverted, anyway.”
”Bah, humbug.” Ten kicked a pebble and gestured to the old girl, not far away now. ”Remember when he and Five were kinda-sorta dating from time to time, and it was all mostly platonic in this very gentleman-y ’why hello, old chap, let’s have tea and biscuits and discuss physics while mapping out stars’ sort of way. And then I walk into One’s TARDIS one time and he’s found the freakin’ silk ropes – or Three or Two or someone had left them in his room, whatever – remember what I did? Well, Five did – Well! We did–”
”Dropped to my knees and went into submissive mode like a conditioned dog?” Nine suggested, beaming at himself.
”Ah, Five,” Ten sighed, looking at the skies. ”We never went easy on ourselves, did we…”
”Those were the days…” Nine mumbled.
A few meters more with only their steps crunching on the ground to fill the silence, and they’d reached the Tenth’s TARDIS.
The Doctor bopped his next shoulder. ”You’re still a pervert, though.”
”Come on. Not as frequently.”
”Bet you are.”
”Nahh.” Ten elbowed his side, leaning on a corner of his ship. ”Seriously though, wanna bang?”
”Sounds good. I’m in.”
”Nuh-uh, I’m in.”
”Don’t you ruin this with your innuendos, luvvie.”
”Shut up,” Ten said in an unconscious but wonderful imitation of Rose’s accent, which made his past smile even wider. ”Puns are the best.”
The Doctor pulled himself close by the waist, pressing him against the doors.
”Been hanging around Eleven too much, have we?” He gripped his chin, almost bringing their lips together, then turned his head to whisper in his ear. ”When I’m done with you, everyone’ll mistake you for Northern.”
”Oooh, Doc-tor,” Ten groaned mockingly, and he didn’t stop snickering until Nine had unlocked the doors, pulled him in by the tie and slammed him against the wall. In just a few minutes, the scene had escalated on top of the console, their clothes strewn across the floor, and the Tenth Doctor crying out his own name in earnest.
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