Chapter Text
He must be going crazy.
Gakushuu stares at the corner of the cafeteria in disbelief. Ren and the other three continue their chatter, while he slowly blinks, just to make sure that he isn’t imagining things.
No, he knows this face too well from the picture on his father’s desk. There among all the other students of Kunugigaoka stands Rikuto Ikeda. Or at least someone that bears an eerie resemblance to him. That is staring right at him without even trying to hide it. At first, Gakushuu thought it to be just a mere coincidence, but after several minutes of staring, he discarded this hunch.
Who even is this boy? He looks too old to still be a student at their middle school. Honestly, this stranger nearly seems too old to even attend Kunugigaoka high school.
Regardless, Gakushuu goes through every student he knows of in his head, but still comes back empty-handed. To his knowledge, there is no one in their middle school or even in the adjunctive high school he could mistake for his father’s dead student. He even went through every member of class 3E.
Irritated, he closes his eyes, ignoring his growing headache caused by his studying and the unexplainable inconvenience of apparently seeing spitting images of a deceased person. Gakushuu takes a deep breath, trying to find a rational explanation for this situation and calm the increasing thuds behind his brows. It was probably just a trick of the light and his imagination, he admittedly hasn’t slept much these last few days.
He opens his eyes again and focuses them back on the corner and oh, no, he’s still standing there, seemingly unbothered by all the other students passing by.
This is bad, Gakushuu supposes. Either he really has started to imagine things or his father is going to get a heart attack when he sees this poor boy. And to be honest, he doesn’t want to deal with either of these possibilities.
Gakushuu takes a deep breath and exhales calmly. It’s probably just a new student or a visitor he doesn’t know about. Nevertheless, the resemblance is uncanny.
Apart from that, the boy’s incessant staring is slowly getting on his nerves. Does he want something from him? Maybe he should just go over to him and—
“Gakushuu, what do you think?”
“Huh?” Gakushuu turns his head to look at Ren, who had just interrupted his thoughts. He hadn’t been paying any attention to his classmates’ conversation. With a small sigh, Ren shakes his head and gestures to the others.
“Our discussion. We can’t agree, so we want to know your opinion.”
Their classmates nod. Gakushuu tries to recall what they had been talking about before he tuned out their conversation. If he remembers correctly, it started as a discussion about the book they had read in class. That would make sense, since their teacher had announced that they’ll write a test about it soon.
Gakushuu inclines his head, prodding them to continue, and Araki speaks.
“So, what do you say? Are shovels spoons or are spoons actually shovels?”
Gakushuu blinks.
Then he blinks again before wordlessly turning back to look at the corner of the cafeteria, ignoring his entourages’ protests. He’s not dealing with this nonsense, nor a seemingly weird doppelganger of a dead student. Speaking of which, after this short distraction, Gakushuu can’t see the supposed double anywhere. He looks around, to spot a shock of dirty blond hair with pinkish eyes, without avail.
Maybe it really was just his imagination.
-----
At least, that was what Gakushuu thought at the beginning. Until he sits down in class a few days later.
First, he doesn’t even notice it, but then he sees something moving from the corner of his eye. His gaze turns from their lecturing teacher to the wall that separates their classroom from the hallway. Through its windows, he can watch the empty corridors and sometimes spot teachers or students passing by. But now Gakushuu can see dirty blond hair and pinkish eyes looking inside.
No one else seems to notice the foreign boy. Everyone is focused on the current lesson and their notes. Or maybe they saw the boy and just ignored him. After all, he might just be a new student that got lost.
Gakushuu doesn’t even know why the boy’s presence bothers him so much. He should just forget about him and pay attention to his teacher, but since the first time he saw him, there is something about him that keeps redirecting his thoughts towards this stranger.
Whenever Gakushuu tears his eyes away to read the information written on the blackboard, he can’t focus on it. He can read it, recognize it from his earlier studies, but nothing more. His thoughts don’t want to comprehend its meaning or do anything with this knowledge. Instead, they drift back to the unknown, familiar boy and Gakushuu looks back, just to see dirty blond hair and pinkish eyes still standing there.
It’s like a water vortex pulling him back every time he manages to tear his thoughts away.
Before Gakushuu realizes it, the bell rings, and he can’t remember a single thing the teacher taught them in the past hour. His classmates start packing and leaving the classroom, talking to each other without even sparing a glance at the stranger.
But as soon as Gakushuu enters the hallway, he can’t spot the boy anywhere.
-----
The next time Gakushuu sees the boy is in the library the following day. Some students had asked him to tutor them for the upcoming test, and he couldn’t deny their request. After all, he is responsible for maintaining 3A’s sublime scores and social standing. He can’t let something like the pole toppling event repeat itself.
The thought alone sends shivers down his spine, and Gakushuu digs his nails into his palm to distract himself from the upcoming memories, to remind him he isn’t in the principal's office anymore.
Their group approaches his usual tutoring spot when he catches sight of the strange boy who is already standing at the table. Now that Gakushuu can see him with nothing between them, he notices that the stranger isn’t wearing the Kunugigaoka school uniform. Instead, he is dressed in a shirt with a tie and a green jacket. Gakushuu furrows his eyebrows. If the teenager, based on his clothes, isn’t a new student, why is he visiting their school on multiple days?
But before Gakushuu can say anything, the boy spots them and walks away. He follows him with his eyes while the others sit down, quietly chatting and paying no mind to the previous occupant of their table.
After the boy rounds a corner, leaving his field of view, Gakushuu focuses on the other students again. They are still talking, their materials opened in front of them. Ren looks at him, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“You alright? You seem kind of distracted,” he whispers to Gakushuu, after he sat down next to the brunet. Gakushuu lightly shakes his head and shoots his classmate one of his small practiced smiles.
“It’s nothing. I’m just wondering about the boy who just left. Do you know him? I don’t recognize him, and the principal also hasn’t mentioned anything about a new student so close to the end of the year, neither here nor in the high school.”
He hates to admit not knowing something as trivial as this, but it bothers him too much to just ignore it.
Ren looks at the ceiling, thinking.
“Hm, sorry, no. I didn’t even see anyone, I think. I must have missed him, but really, I doubt anyone would join Kunugigaoka this late in the year.”
Gakushuu hums as an answer and prepares his notes. He has more important things to do than think about this stranger, like tutoring his classmates.
Gakushuu is in the middle of explaining one of the main symbolisms in their novel when he sees him again. Dirty blond hair and pinkish eyes emerge from behind the bookshelves, observing their little group. No, they didn’t emerge from behind the bookshelves; they phased through them. No resistance, no disturbance. The unknown boy’s body just walked through the bookshelf instead of around it, as if it wasn’t there, wasn’t blocking his path.
Gakushuu blinks, he must have imagined this, must have seen it out of the corner of his eye, seen it incorrectly. But when he looks back, he can still see it. The left hand and leg of the boy are still inside the shelf.
Gakushuu feels his feet glued to the floor while pinkish eyes stare at him. An icy shiver runs down his spine and leaves goose bumps along his skin, like a waterfall pouring down on him. The world goes silent and they both just look at each other without moving. When Gakushuu squints his eyes to take a closer look, he could swear he could see the faint outlines of their surroundings through the boy's body. As if he was looking through muddy water, they are blurry and constantly moving. They are slightly contorted, the same way they are when he doesn’t sleep for days because otherwise he would fall behind or when the principal—
“Asano? Are you ok?” Aikawa asks with a light tug on Gakushuu’s sleeve. The small movement snaps him out of his trance and his eyes find his classmates who muster him with worried faces.
“Yeah, you seem kinda, you know, out of it,” Ishikawa adds. “Don’t misunderstand, but maybe we should stop. I mean, you already helped us enough and I understand it much better, so really thanks, but I think maybe you should take, like, you know, a break,” he says nervously, fumbling with his pen.
A few others nod. Ren is one of them and rests his hand on Gakushuu’s shoulder.
“You know, I can take over if you want. You don’t have to push yourself if you’re not feeling well.”
Gakushuu can’t help the small warm feeling blooming in his chest. Gratitude warms him, despite the centipedes crawling up his skin because of his display of weakness. It grounds him in the present before his thoughts can take him back to the principal’s office and the memories he keeps locked away from everyone, even himself.
A quick glance at the bookshelves reveals the boy has vanished again. Maybe he was never there.
Gakushuu shakes his head lightly and gives his classmates a small, not so practiced, thankful smile.
“I’m alright. Sorry, I think, I just didn’t sleep enough tonight, but it’s fine. We can continue, it won’t happen again.”
Even though he would like to quit his tutoring session and look for the stranger, satisfy his curiosity and repetitive thoughts, he can’t. Gakushuu can’t leave his classmates to fend for themselves, otherwise he can’t make sure that they don’t fail. Can’t protect them from the principal’s office.
So he continues to teach them, ignoring Ren’s worried and disapproving gaze.
-----
On his way home, Gakushuu finally finds an opportunity to confront the strange boy. Or rather, the boy finds him.
He is waiting for Gakushuu, leaning against a wall at the school gate. As soon as pinkish eyes spot him, the stranger walks towards him.
Gakushuu observes him with a wary look and stops in front of the boy, who is smiling. Before he can even open his mouth to speak, the other one starts talking.
“Gakushuu! Thank god I found you,” the boy beams at him, his hands gesturing wildly. “Everything's so different than it used to be. I was back on the hill, but it seemed so abandoned, so I walked back down just to find this huge school. But nobody seems to see me except for you. I wasn’t sure in the beginning, but, you know, after the thing today in the library I’m so relieved to know that you really can see me, I was so worried to be stuck here without any contact,” he scratches the back of his head sheepishly before mustering Gakushuu again. “And you’ve grown so much, I remember you when you were—”
“Stop!” Gakushuu interrupts the stranger. His thoughts race in his head, trying to make sense of the words thrown at him. What was this kid talking about? And even more importantly, “Who are you?”
The boy looks at him and tilts his head to the right.
“Don’t you remember me? It’s me, Ikeda! Ikeda Rikuto from your dad’s old school.”
Gakushuu stiffens and curls his fingers into a fist, pressing his nails against his skin. These words are like a punch to his stomach. He doesn’t know why; it doesn’t make any sense, but hearing this name out loud after so many years of stifling silence is like an enormous wave crashing against him and the walls he built around this topic.
This stranger really bears an eerie resemblance to Ikeda Rikuto. After all, it was the first characteristic Gakushuu took note of. From up close, it’s even more uncanny. But there is one problem.
“Ikeda Rikuto is dead.”
Gakushuu regards the fraud with a disdainful look. He doesn’t know how anyone found out about his father’s old student or who thought it would be a good idea to play such a cruel prank, but he won’t let them have their desired result.
The boy in front of him looks lost for a few seconds before he collects himself again.
“No, I mean yes? Look, I don’t really get what’s going on myself, but it’s like, how should I explain it? I think I’m like a ghost. Nobody can see me and I can’t really interact with anything. You know, one day I just woke up and was on the hill. I know, just hear me out,” the fraud gestures again, one hand gripping his own head, “I know it’s hard to believe, but look, I’m standing right in front of you.”
Gakushuu sighs at the boy’s ramblings and takes a step to the side. He has better things to do, like revising his materials instead of humoring some high schooler and his pointless prank.
“Hey, wait!” the stranger cries out and gets in Gakushuu’s way, grabbing him by his shoulders. Or at least that’s what Gakushuu thinks he tried to do. But he doesn’t feel any weight on his shoulders, just a chill traveling along his sides.
The stranger starts to smile again, his momentary panic already forgotten.
“See, I told you. I know it’s hard to understand, but you just saw it!”
As if to reiterate his statement, the boy stretches his right arm and moves it through Gakushuu’s body. Violet eyes follow the movement and watch the arm phase through his body. But Gakushuu feels nothing, no pain, resistance, anything. Just a chill traveling through his torso as if it was drenched in cold water, the same sensation he experienced a few seconds ago.
The boy, the ghost, Ikeda looks at him expectantly.
And despite everything his father has ever taught him about the strong and the weak, about the winner and the worthless, about the successful and the cowards, Gakushuu runs away.