Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] - A gentle, September breeze caresses all of Jamrock this morning.

It rushes through the abandoned mines of Coal City, making the tunnels whistle and sing for tiny, dirty children with gold pieces in their pockets. 

It makes old newspapers and used kebab wrappers dance on the streets of Villalobos, around the ankles of two men from enemy crime factions who are smoking a cigarette together. 

And in Central Jamrock, it dishevels the dark, ratty hair of a particular Lieutenant of the Revachol Citizens Militia as, once again, he stands outside the entrance of an old, converted mill.

YOU - Wait, is that me?

SHIVERS - Yes. It is you, Lieutenant Harrier Du Bois. The wind moves you, as it moves the litter beneath your feet and the aerostatics floating lifeless above your head. It tousles your hair, like a mother might do to her child. It seems to say…

CONGRATULATIONS!

1. Congratulations?
2. Oh! Thank you!

SHIVERS - There will be no homicides in Central today. No one will poison the canal with amphetamines. No long-standing conflicts will escalate. The sun will break though the clouds by noon. 

Just for today, everything will be alright.

1. Really? That’s great! 
2. And what about tomorrow?
3. Somehow I don’t believe that…

SHIVERS - Tomorrow a girl will be found on the coast with her throat torn out. Enjoy today, while it lasts.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - You’ve earned it. Had you made different choices, you might not have survived to see a day like this one. Every pill, every minute of therapy and every night spent trembling and crying. All of it has led up to today.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - But that doesn’t mean you get to slow down now. Your precinct awaits.

YOU - The sun feels pleasantly warm on your face. You shudder, and prepare to head inside the old mill. 

Except, before you can, you hear a voice call out from behind you.

MACK TORSON - “Hey hey, look who it is! Captain Sober!” 

Mack has his shiny, hairless head stuck out of the passenger-side window of the Coupris that his partner, Chester McLaine, is parking up outside of the building.
“Lemme guess, massive bender last night, right?” 

He and Chester exchange a knowing grin.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - This has been their thing since day one, but it's never been entirely mean-spirited.

ENDURANCE - The fact that they are still getting something from the whole Captain Sober thing, after all this time, is honestly a testament to their willpower. 

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - Doggedly loyal, both to each other and to the bit.

CHESTER MCLAINE - "He looks guilty as shit , Mack," Chester sneers as he switches off the MC's engine. "Mullen is done ."

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - You're not gonna take this from them. Not today. Today is *your* day.

CONCEPTUALISATION [Challenging: Success] - Besides, Dick Mullen is *never * done. That is quite literally the central theme of the latest Revachol Bestseller 'Dick Mullen: Dick Won't Quit'!

RHETORIC - Nor will he ever, so long as his franchise continues to rake in millions of real per year. But that's a whole other story.

MACK TORSON - "Oh yeah. He's *done*, alright."

They are climbing out of the car now, chuckling to each other.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Watching you carefully for any possibility of a reaction.

MACK TORSON - "Done-er than disco."

HALF LIGHT [Trivial: Success] - Oh no. They did not just bring disco into this. Take them the fuck down. 

1. [Authority: Formidable] Shut down the jokes, once and for all.
2. [Composure: Legendary] Let the teasing wash over you, unmoved. 
3. "Why are you guys always so *mean* to me? I never did anything to you, did I?"

AUTHORITY [Formidable: Failure] - You suck a breath into your chest, and bunch up your fists. You are a Lieutenant of the RCM and you *will* be respected!

YOU - "Shut up, guys!" You say that, and you hear your voice waver. "I'm not done! I've got a dick that won't quit!"

MACK TORSON - "..."

CHESTER MCLAINE - "..."

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - Oh no. We know this silence. 

HALF LIGHT - A DICK THAT WON'T QUIT?! DO YOU EVEN HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING?!

YOU - "Wait, hang on! I didn't mean it like…"

REACTION SPEED [Impossible: Success] - Too late. *Years* Too late. 

MACK TORSON - Simultaneously, they both burst into a fit of unbridled laughter. Mack begins smacking Chester very hard on the back, like he’s attempting to dislodge something from his partner’s throat. 

“He said…! He said his--”

CHESTER MCLAINE - “It doesn’t *quit*, Mack! Dick Mullen’s fuckin’ dick!!”

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - This isn’t going to stop any time soon, so feel free to interject at any point.

1. Clear your throat, politely.
2. “My fellow officers, surely we can resolve this funny mishap in a professional manner?”
3. “That’s right, my dick! Now shut the fuck up about it!”
4. Just head inside. No coming back from this one now.

CHESTER MCLAINE - He’s not really laughing any more, so much as he’s screeching. 

“Mullen! Come- come on! We all know the truth! You- he, he…” He starts wheezing from overexertion, and from Mack pulverising his spine with the flat of his palm.

MACK TORSON - “Drank so much...that dick’s probably...probably fuckin…*pickled*! Fuck!”

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - I don’t think they’re really going to listen to you...

1. Clear your throat, politely.
2. “My fellow officers, surely we can resolve this funny mishap in a professional manner?”
3. Just head inside. No coming back from this one now.

CHESTER MCLAINE - “Perfectly preserved...displayed in a jar in a fuckin’...*dick museum*!”

MACK TORSON - “Yeah yeah, and...and--!”

JEAN VICQUEMARE - “What the fuck is going on here?”

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] You feel yourself go cold.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Challenging: Failure] - Oh. You just really didn’t notice Jean heading over this way at all, did you?

JEAN VICQUEMARE - He’s just arrived at the precinct himself, RCM cloak neat and tight over his shoulders.

AUTHORITY - And with all the air of a headmaster who has caught his pupils in the hallway during class.

CHESTER MCLAINE - He and Mack are still laughing, but it's a noise that is closer to snickering, now that their superior is here. 

MACK TORSON - “You didn’t hear, Vic? Mullen drank so much his dick fell off!” 

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Not a single muscle stirs on Jean’s face. You have seen dead men displaying more emotion than this man is now, having to think about your dick falling off. 

JEAN VICQUEMARE - After a moment, he closes his eyes. 

"You know what? That’s my fault. I asked.”

MACK TORSON - He and Chester exchange a knowing look, and begin to head inside.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - Lieutenant Yefreitor Vicquemare's arrival to the precinct always signals the beginning of the work day. Time for them to get *mildly* serious. 

CHESTER MCLAINE - “Ha ha, alright Dickless Mullen,”

CONCEPTUALISATION - Oh no. *Dickless Mullen* is good. And it's absolutely going to stick.

CHESTER MCLAINE - Chester gives you a friendly pat on the shoulder, as he and his partner pass by you.

“See ya later, yeah?”

MACK TORSON - “Yeah!” Mack smacks your other shoulder, in quite the same way, but much harder.

ENDURANCE [Challenging: Failure] - The force makes you topple to one side a little bit.

MACK TORSON - “See ya around! And hey,” he pauses to add,  “Congrats on today!”

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - Oh! Does that mean that they remembered?

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - Of course they did. Everyone in the C-Wing knows how big this day is for you.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - And how hard you’ve worked…

YOU - What about Jean? Does he know?

ESPRIT DE CORPS -  Of course he knows. He knows it better than anyone else here.

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - That’s probably why he’s still out here, even now the others are gone. He’s waiting for you to say something about it. 

1. “Just so you know, Jean, I didn’t drink my dick off.”
2. “So, Jean, y’know, it’s kind of a special day for me today…khm...” (Wait patiently for the praise.)

JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Could’ve fooled me.” He starts lighting a cigarette. 

SUGGESTION [Challenging: Success] - Wow, a joke? For him, that was practically sentimental.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - You can’t have Jean thinking you’re going around dickless! Drop trou and show him what you’re packing! 

VOLITION [Trivial: Success] - I’m sure if you think about it for more than two seconds, you will realise that is a horrible idea.

1. Think about it for more than two seconds.
2. Show Jean your dick.

YOU - So, uh, what part of this exactly am I supposed to be contemplating?

VOLITION - The part where you expose yourself to a fellow officer, obviously.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Challenging: Success] - Isn’t that...kind of…

VOLITION - You know what? Never mind. Thinking about it was a horrible idea as well.

JEAN VICQUEMARE - Fortunately for you, your *fellow officer* does not possess your supra natural, telepathic abilities. He is blissfully unaware of the thoughts you're battling with.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - In fact, he's convinced you're just waiting for him to say something nice.

JEAN VICQUEMARE - “What, what is it? You want me to say you’ve done a *good job*? You want me to throw you a fucking party, shitkid? For being a functional fucking member of society for *six fucking months*?” 

1. “...Yes.”
2. “Six is a lot of months, Jean!”
3. “I guess it’s not *that* good, now that you mention it…”

JEAN VICQUEMARE - He scoffs and shakes his head. “Idiot.”

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - I don’t think a party was ever on the table, unfortunately. I think he was being *sarcastic*.

JEAN VICQUEMARE - “If you *really* need my approval that badly,” he goes on, not meeting your gaze while he smokes, “ Then fine. I’m *glad* you’re not destroying this precinct any more, and that you’re doing your fucking job at a semi-consistent rate…”

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - You watch as some particular memory takes him for a moment. Happens a lot when talking to you.

JEAN VICQUEMARE - “I sure don’t miss holding your fucking hair back while you puke in the C-Wing bathroom, that’s for fucking sure. God…”

1. “Wait…a *semi*-consistent rate?”
2. “Well, I’m sorry...I’m sorry past me was such an asshole.”
3. “So what you’re saying is...you’re proud of me?” (Move on).
4. “Okay I get it. I guess I shouldn’t be celebrating anything.” (Move on).

JEAN VICQUEMARE - “That’s right. Because in this precinct, we don’t count fucking *side quests* as police work, as much as you act like we do.”

RHETORIC - *Side quest* is your terminology. He says it with such contempt that it almost sounds like a slur.

1. “Well, I’m sorry...I’m sorry past me was such an asshole.”
2. “So what you’re saying is...you’re proud of me?” (Move on).
3. “Okay I get it. I guess I shouldn’t be celebrating anything.” (Move on).

JEAN VICQUEMARE - He shakes his head at that, for a long time. He’s still not looking at you, but rather at the street in front of the precinct.

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - He sees you there, belly-down and half-naked in the road, drinking rainwater from the gutter because the speed has made your mouth dry. 

Then he exhales a cloud of smoke and there you are, back in the present and blissfully ignorant to it all.

JEAN VICQUEMARE - “You keep saying past you, like it’s a different person. Harry,” he taps ash out in front of him, then gestures towards your head with the cigarette, “Past you is still very much in there.”

CONCEPTUALISATION [Medium: Success] - Like a phantom. 

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - Like a spider trapped in a shoe box.

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - Like a puddle after a summer storm...

1. “I really don’t know how to feel about that.”
2. “That’s...sad.”
3. “But past me did good things too, right?”

JEAN VICQUEMARE - He says nothing to that.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - It’s not the good things that stick in his mind. That’s not how that works.

1. “But basically what you’re saying is...you’re proud of me?” (Move on).
2. “Okay I get it. I guess I shouldn’t be celebrating anything.” (Move on).

JEAN VICQUEMARE - “Did you listen to a fucking *word* of what I just said, asshole?!” You see him tense up.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - You were definitely *mostly* listening, but there was also still a little part of you that was busy thinking about getting your dick out. 

YOU - You just shrug at him vaguely.

JEAN VICQUEMARE: And then he expels the tension with an enormous sigh. "Alright. Fine. I'm *proud* of you. Fucking imbécile."

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Unbelievable, he's thinking. He's utterly unbelievable.

EMPATHY - It is a sentiment that is more affectionate than he'd like to admit.

1. "See? Now was that so hard?"
2. "I knew it! Now about that party…"
3. “Wait, hold on. You’re being sarcastic with me right now, aren’t you?

JEAN VICQUEMARE: He shakes his head at you, while you grin like the idiot you are. "Don't push your damn luck with me, shitkid. Get inside."

He shoves you firmly, between the shoulders, towards the entrance of the precinct.

1. "No...no...I don't want to…" (Go limp and collapse into Jean's arms.)
2. "Can't we just talk out here some more? I want to learn more about past me."
3. March into the precinct with all the pride of someone that's six-months functional.

YOU - You don't need Jean to persuade you. Today the walk to your desk will not be a walk of shame.

CONCEPTUALISATION [Easy: Success] - It's a walk of *fame*, baby!

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - You bust open the doors Precinct 41 with both hands. Bam! Superstar detective on the scene!

PRECINCT 41 - Inside, the mill is already bustling. Men and women in uniform rush and bustle in every direction, like a colony of tired blue ants.

DRAMA - Alas, most of them didn't notice your explosive entrance. Perhaps next time.

YOU - You brush past them, making the familiar route to the C-Wing with Jean following behind you.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Trivial: Success] - Through the lobby, then taking the corridor on the right. Further down, another right turn, and then there, beyond that door…

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - This, *this* is your home. Welcome back.

JEAN VICQUEMARE - "Now you behave yourself today, shitkid."

He shrugs out of his cloak, folding it up neatly in his arms.

1. "No!" (Turn and run into the C-Wing as fast as you can.)
2. "You say that every morning."
3. Don't say anything, just head inside.

JEAN VICQUEMARE - "That's right, I do." He moves past you, pushing open the door. 

"Maybe one day you'll actually listen to me, huh?" 

PERCEPTION (SOUND) [Medium: Success] - As the door swings open you hear a snippet of a woman's voice, talking to someone.

"--just waiting for the budget approval, but it shouldn't be a problem. Oh, one second…"

JUDIT MINOT - As you move into the C-Wing lobby, Satellite-officer Minot leans out of the door to her and Jean's office. There is a telephone receiver pressed to her chest.

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - To limit what the person on the other end can hear.

JUDIT MINOT - "It's today, isn't it?"

She looks between the two of you, then extends a tiny little thumb, pointing it towards the ceiling. "Congratulations, Harry! We should throw you a party!"

JEAN VICQUEMARE - "No!" Jean snaps immediately, "He doesn't get a fucking party!" 

JUDIT MINOT - "*Jean*--" She stops herself, and glances down at the receiver in her hands.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - She wants to fight for the party, but she can't justify keeping the person on the phone waiting any longer.

JUDIT MINOT - So she just shakes her head at the both of you, and retreats back into the office.

"Sorry about that. As I was saying…"

1. "I think you pissed her off, Jean."
2. "You killed my party,  Jean. The Gods will remember what you've done here today."
3. "Me and Judit are gonna have a party, and you're not invited!"

JEAN VICQUEMARE - He actually smiles at you. 

HALF LIGHT - *Terrifying.*

JEAN VICQUEMARE - "Good. Now get to fucking work." 

YOU - You watch him stride into his office, and slam shut the door that Judit left open before.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - Finally alone! Freedom! Do something crazy! Do a kegstand! Inject heroin directly into your eyeballs! You earned it buddy! 

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - What better day to reclaim your place as the head of this taskforce? Make them regret stealing your yefreitors from you! Assert your dominance!

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - Yes! See that chair? You should pick it up! Lift it up above your head!

VOLITION - What? Why?

SAVOIR FAIRE [Challenging: Failure] - BECAUSE IT'S COOL!!!

1. [Electrochemistry: Medium] Do something truly fucking crazy! 
2. [Physical Instrument] Lift the chair above your head.
3. Uh. Maybe I should just do my job.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Wow guys, check out the *boring cop* over here .

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENTS - Your muscles will erode! *Erode*!

VOLITION - Don't listen to them. Your office awaits. 

YOU - My office?

LOGIC - Right, your office. You remember where your office is, don’t you?

YOU - Khm, yes. Of course. Now lets see...

1. Look at the ground floor of the C-Wing.
2. Look at the second floor of the C-Wing.
3. Look underneath the stairs of the C-Wing.

PRECINCT 41 C-WING - The C-Wing takes up the smallest part of the building. The walls are made of old brick, and the wooden floorboards still have gaps from where, long ago, machinery was torn out of the floor and salvaged for scrap. Wooden beams line the length of the building in order to support the slanted ceiling above, between which small offices have more recently been constructed out of far cheaper grey plaster walls. 

CONCEPTUALISATION [Challenging: Success] - From an interior design perspective, it is a fairly unusual combination of post-modern and corporate aesthetics.

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - From a regular perspective, it looks like shit.

PRECINCT 41 C-WING - The offices are all packed together in one half of the room, but then the space opens out to a larger area which contains the front desk, a couple rows of chairs and a wooden staircase that was retained from before the building was refitted for the RCM. Beyond that are doors leading out of the C-Wing l to other parts of the building; holding cells, radio rooms,  evidence lockers…

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Challenging: Success] - Ah, the evidence locker: better known as The Discount Party Store to those cops that are cooler than you. 

PRECINCT 41 C-WING - But none of those doors lead to your office.

1. Look at the second floor of the C-Wing.
2. Look underneath the stairs of the C-Wing.

PRECINCT 41 C-WING - The second floor is an elevated wooden platform that is accessible from the old staircase on the ground floor. Back when this place was still a mill, the single room on the second floor would have been designated as the foreman’s office, offering them the leverage required to supervise all that was happening on the floor below. Now that it belongs to Captain Pryce, whose responsibility includes keeping you in line, the overlooking view is just as, if not more essential. 

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - You have made many a difficult journey up those stairs. The dread has a way of making your feet feel heavier with each step, as if you’re climbing your way up to the gallows, not Pryce’s office.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Heroic: Failure] - Perhaps in another lifetime, it could have been your office. But in this one, that possibility is long dead.

1. Look underneath the stairs of the C-Wing.

PRECINCT 41 C-WING - There is a little more space to C-Wing, tucked away below the staircase and the second floor constructed overhead. Most of it is taken up by the storage room, where all manner of items are kept including archived case-files, cleaning products, mishandled evidence and broken equipment. Next to that room, though, separated by one of the many wooden beams upholding the stairs, is one last little office.

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - *That* one is your office. Not that you didn’t already know that.

YOU - With that resolved, you finally begin to make your way over, weaving through the early morning bustle of the precinct.

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - Tucked away next to a cupboard, quarantined from the rest of C-Wing...

ESPRIT DE CORPS - But a place that is *yours*, nonetheless. 

YOU - Once you reach the door to your office, bathed in the shadow of the staircase, you reach out and turn the handle.

But it doesn't budge.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - What? Why? Turn it harder!

YOU - You rattle the handle frantically but yeah, it definitely isn't budging.

INTERFACING [Easy: Success] - That's because the door is locked, friend.

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - Right. Right! You need your keys to get into your office.

YOU - Oh yeah, my keys! I have my keys!

HALF LIGHT [Trivial: Success] - Or do you?

YOU - Oh shit. Oh fuck.

1. [Volition: Challenging] Produce your keys because you are a functional adult.
2. I already know I don't have them. I'm a barely-human disaster...

YOU - You pat yourself down, shove your hands in your pockets, check all the usual places…

VOLITION [Challenging: Failure] - You do not have your keys.

HALF LIGHT - OH SHIT!

PAIN THRESHOLD - OH FUCK!

HALF LIGHT - Jean is going to swallow you whole like a fucking snake.

COMPOSURE [Challenging: Success] - Okay, maybe you just put them in a different pocket? Search some more before you start to panic.

1. [Hand Eye Coordination: Easy] Pat yourself down again.
2. START TO PANIC!

HAND EYE COORDINATION [Easy: Success] - You begin to furiously clap your hands over various locations on your body, as if performing some primal, intricate ritual that will summon your keys from a state of non existence.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - These movements, this rhythm; an expression of your absolute failure to function in a civil society...Harry, you're a dancer! An interpretive dancer!

PAIN THRESHOLD [Formidable: Success] - Good to have a back up career, since you’re definitely going to get fired for losing your keys yet again.

HAND EYE COORDINATION - You're still clapping, by the way.

PERCEPTION (TOUCH) - You start to feel sweat beading on your brow. 

ENDURANCE [Medium: Failure] - Your arms are starting to get tired. 

YOU - I'm not sure I can even stop. I think this is an onset panic attack I'm experiencing here.

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] - Breathing! Remember your breathing!

COMPOSURE [Formidable: Failure] - WE DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER OUR BREATHING!! 

KIM KITSURAGI - "Good morning, detective." 

COMPOSURE [Heroic: Failure] - The good news is that the shock of suddenly hearing Kim's voice makes you stop patting yourself.

The bad news is that it also makes you shriek like a girl.

YOU - You spin around, and press your back against the door like you've got something to hide.

KIM KITSURAGI - He's standing there, with his folder tucked under an arm and a mug in each hand.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - Each one steaming with fresh coffee.

KIM KITSURAGI - He stares at you, eyebrows peeking above the rim of his glasses.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Right now he is *absolutely* convinced you are up to something.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Are you alright?"

1. "Never better, pants and sweater!"
2. "Why is everyone sneaking up on me today…" 
3. "I lost my keys again, Kim! I'm gonna get fired for real this time!"

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - Lieutenant Kitsuragi has been studying you carefully up until now. He doesn't see anything in you that should cause him alarm.

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - He believes that he’s gotten fairly good at being able to tell when something is truly wrong with you. Now he can let himself relax, he just seems amused by your jumpiness, rather than concerned.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Right."

He gestures towards the door with one of the mugs.

"Shall we?"

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - *We can't stay out here all day, after all…*

1. "Sure, sure, there's just uh...a small problem."
2. "Actually, I was thinking... why don't we take our work outside today?"
3. Just immediately start to cry.

KIM KITSURAGI - "There will be time to enjoy the weather later. Let's go inside."

1. "Sure, sure, there's just uh...a small problem."
2. Just immediately start to cry.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Okay…" He says it with a sigh, but just a little one.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success]- There's *always* a small problem with you. He's still not particularly concerned. If anything, he's glad there's just *one* small problem today.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Let's hear it then."

1. "I lost my memory again."
2. "I've trapped a dangerous cryptid inside our office! No one can go in ever again!"
3. "The door is locked."
4. "Alright. I lost my keys, Kim…" (Tell the truth.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "That's not funny."

YOU - "No, really, Kim! We're gonna have to start all over again! *Again* again!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Well, since I just heard you use my name, I'm thinking you're alright, actually."

DRAMA [Impossible: Failure] - Curses!Were it not for that small hiccup you would have had him! 

1. "I've trapped a dangerous cryptid inside our office! No one can go in ever again!"
2. "The door is locked."
3. "Alright. I lost my keys, Kim…" (Tell the truth.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Oh?" He sounds very interested, suddenly.

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - *Too* interested. He's clearly teasing you. 

KIM KITSURAGI - "And which cryptid are we talking about, here? Does it have a name?"

1. [Conceptualization: Formidable] Invent a *very* intimidating name for your cryptid.
2. "It doesn't have a name. That's how scary it is."

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Formidable: Success] - We must take inspiration from nature! What intimidates us ?

YOU - "It's name is...uuuuhhh....."

HALF LIGHT - The Lieutenant has raised an eyebrow at you, in the time you've spent trying to *remember* this cryptid's name.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Sure, that'll do!

YOU -  “Pim...Pitsuragi?"

INLAND EMPIRE - Terrifying!

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Nailed it!

KIM KITSURAGI - He closes his eyes. "...Alright. There's no cryptid. Let's move on."

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Just so you know, part of him will never recover from Pim Pitsuragi. Not ever.

1. "The door is locked."
2. "Alright. I lost my keys, Kim…" (Tell the truth.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "That's right, it's so that the office can only be accessed by a responsible officer of the RCM."

KIM KITSURAGI - It looks like he wants to smile.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He's worked out what's going on by now, he just wants a confession out of you.

1. "Alright here it is: I lost my keys, Kim…" (Tell the truth.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Well, thank you for your *eventual* honesty…"

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - You spot him briefly tilt his head to one side, to glance at his watch.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Fortunately I haven't lost *my* keys..." He motions to get them from his person, before remembering that he is laden with mugs of coffee.

"Ah, they're just here, in my back pocket," he nods to indicate which one, "Would you mind getting them for me?"

1. "Wait, you're not mad that I lost mine?"
2. "That's my partner! Always pulling through for us!"
3. Retrieve Kim's keys from his pocket.

KIM KITSURAGI - "No, I'm not mad."

YOU - "Just disappointed?"

KIM KITSURAGI - He gives you a little smile. " I'm not disappointed either ."

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - It's true, he's really not!

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - If anything, he's more disappointed in all the stalling you did, with the cryptids and whatnot. 

YOU - "Huh? Why not?"

KIM KITSURAGI - Kim takes a small sip of his coffee before he answers you.

"Mm. Because you lock your keys in the office on a near weekly basis, and I suspect that today is no different."

YOU - Now that you think about it, you do kind of have this *I've lost my keys and now I'm going to be fired* crisis quite often and this is usually the eventual resolution.

LOGIC - God, Kim is so *smart*.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - And cool. Don't forget cool.

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Oh! I know this one now! Cool means *sexy*, doesn't it!

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Goddamn right it does!

VOLITION [Heroic: Success] - Now, now, what’s our rule on thinking unprofessional thoughts about Kim during work hours?

1. Do it immediately, all the time, and at every available opportunity?
2. Don’t think it, say it? Out loud? To him?
3. No objectification of my partner? Because he’s not only a scrumptious slab of man-meat but also a person?

VOLITION - No.

1. Don’t think it, say it? Out loud? To him?
2. No objectification of my partner? Because he’s not only a scrumptious slab of man-meat but also a person?

VOLITION - No!

1. No objectification of my partner? Because he’s not only a scrumptious slab of man-meat but also a person?

VOLITION - No-- I mean, *yes*, but that isn’t the rule. 

YOU - Okay, well, that’s me out of ideas then. What *is* our rule on thinking unprofessional thoughts about Kim during work hours?

VOLITION - The rule is *don’t*.

YOU -  Not ever? But that’s terrible! Why did I ever agree to this damn rule? 

VOLITION - Mostly? So you could do things as simple as taking your partner’s keys from his back pocket without completely losing your mind. 

AUTHORITY - Now why would he possibly get flustered by something like that?

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - Because if you put your hand in the Lieutenant’s back pocket, there will only be approximately 4mm worth of fabric separating it - *your hand* - from his bare backside.

COMPOSURE [Impossible: Failure] - His-- oh *no*.

VOLITION - See what I mean?

KIM KITSURAGI - “Detective,” he says it gently, to coax you from your thoughts.

ESPRIT DE CORPS {Medium: Success] - Lieutenant Kitsuragi is well accustomed to how lost you can get in here, sometimes. He sees it as part of his duty to not only help keep you level, but also to do so with the utmost patience. 

KIM KITSURAGI - “The morning is slipping away here.”

YOU - “Er, right. Right.”

1. Offer to take the coffee from Kim, so he can unlock the door instead.
2. [Composure: Medium] Take Kim’s keys from his back pocket without losing your goddamn mind.   

         -2 Only 4mm of fabric...

     3. [Savoir Faire: Godly] Take Kim’s keys, but secretly grab a feel of that ass while you do it.

VOLITION - Alright, easy now, big guy. You’ve got this. 

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] - It’s obvious which pocket Kim’s talking about. You can clearly see a keys-shaped bulge misshaping the fabric on the back of his cargo pants.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Failure] - Or maybe he’s just happy to see you?

HAND EYE COORDINATION [Easy: Success] - Just reach out and take them. It’s a simple enough procedure.

YOU - You reach out. Your fingers are absolutely too big and clumsy to do this without…*touching*.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Mere inches from the pocket in question, your entire body freezes up. There is literally nothing you can do that will get it moving again. Yes, you are losing your goddamn mind, as we feared you might. 

VISUAL CALCULUS [Formidable: Success] - You should know that my calculations may have been slightly off earlier; it would be more like 3mm of fabric if the Lieutenant doesn’t wear underwear.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Failure] - The Lieutenant is utterly sensible, and a professional in every regard. Of *course* he doesn’t wear underwear. It would merely hold him back if he did.

CONCEPTUALISATION [Medium: Success] - Imagine how much *your* underwear is holding you back. The elastic must be trapping all your thoughts below the belt. That’s why you keep thinking about Kim’s underwear instead of, like, literally anything else.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - You heard ‘em! Get those pants off! And then bang in the office, while you're at it! 

INLAND EMPIRE [Formidable: Success] - Yes! That idea feels good. Feels right. Do it on the desk.

KIM KITSURAGI - Suddenly, Kim clears his throat. When you look, you see him frowning at you.

LOGIC - You’ve been staring at his butt, and doing nothing else, for a good while now.

1. “Ah shit.”
2. “Do you think it could be my underwear that’s holding me back, Kim?”
3. “I think my fingers are too big to fit in your ass pocket.” 

REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Success] - You almost miss how Kim’s entire face seems to twitch, for a moment, in a split-second grimace.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Please don’t call it that. It’s a normal pocket.”

He then passes you both mugs of coffee, freeing up his hands to unlock the office door himself.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Challenging: Failure] - See how casually and thoughtlessly he took his keys from his back pocket? That’s how *normal* people do it. You’ll get there one day.

YOU - In the meantime, you simply stand there with the two mugs that were thrust into your hands, like the sentient cup holder that you are.  

KIM KITSURAGI - With the office finally open, your partner stands out of the way, gently taking back the mug that he sipped from earlier and warming it in his hands.

“After you, detective.”

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - His expression is softer than usual. Maybe, just *maybe*, he found that whole ordeal a little more humorous than he’s letting on.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Fuck yeah. All according to plan.

YOU - Yep, that was basically a huge win for you. Control of your limbs restored, you *finally* head into your office.

KIM KITSURAGI - He follows, once you do, and shuts the door behind him. 

THE OFFICE - The room is musky, but pleasantly so. A testament to how old the building is; the brick of the walls is chipped and cracked in too many places to count, the wooden floorboards warped.

PERCEPTION (SOUND) [Easy: Success] - They creak as you step further into the room.

THE OFFICE - Inside, two desks are placed opposite each other, chairs neatly tucked beneath each one. Both desks are perfectly neat, though yours is far more busy than Kim’s, with all the *things* you like to collect. There are rows of bottles, mismatched buttons, postcards and a collection of those little toys you get from those 2 reál capsule machines that you can never resist…

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] - And there, amongst it all, right in the center of your desk, lay your keys.

KIM KITSURAGI - “There, see? I told you.” He must have noticed them there, at the same time as you. “You really should get into the habit of putting them somewhere that you won’t lose them.”

1. “Like where?”
2. “No way! Genuinely thinking that I’ve lost my keys is the most important part of my morning! The adrenaline propels me through the rest of the day!”
3. “Hm...perhaps I could begin utilising *my* ass pocket…” (Stroke your chin pensively.)

KIM KITSURAGI - “It might be a good idea, yes.”

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Apparently he is willing to bend on calling it the *ass pocket*, if it means he no longer has to do this with you every other morning.

KIM KITSURAGI - Without another word, he sets down his coffee and folder at his desk, and then sets himself down as well.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - Time to get down to work.

LOGIC - We keep saying *work*, but we don’t even know what it is that we’re meant to be doing today. We should ask Kim what the plan of attack is.

SUGGESTION - Wait wait wait. Hang on! Where is our validation? We were *promised* validation! Kim didn’t forget about today, did he?

YOU - You sit down at your desk, opposite your partner. 

KIM KITSURAGI - He is setting himself up, shuffling through paperwork, finding a pen that hasn’t run out…

1. Ask Kim what he thinks you should be working on today.
2. Ask Kim for advice on remembering your keys.
3. Ask Kim about his underwear, or lack thereof.
4. Just shamelessly fish for compliments.

YOU - You drum your fingers on your desk with flawless nonchalance, before saying anything.

“So, Kim, uhm…” you suck air through your teeth at a steady little rhythm. “You didn’t happen to remember what today is, did you?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Hm.” He shuffles around in one of his desk drawers for a little longer, then slams it shut to look at you. He pushes his glasses back up his face. “Wednesday, I believe.”

You watch the corners of his eyes crease up.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - Of course he knows. He’s playing with you. 

1. “Aw man. I was really hoping it would be Friday.”
2. “C’mon, Kim! Be serious for once!” 

KIM KITSURAGI - “But I am being serious, detective.” He sips his coffee. “It really is Wednesday.”

YOU - “You’re the worst partner ever. I want a refund.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He flashes you a smile before going on to say, “Alright, fine. As of today, it has been six months since you lost your memory. Which means you are now also six months sober. Congratulations.”

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - The approval of the person you love most in this world is a drug of its own. Nothing you can pick up off the street could ever compare. 

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - You didn’t do it *for* him, but...you also might not have done it without him.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - It wasn’t easy, at first. After the thrill of the phasmid discovery wore off and they stripped you down two ranks, when you finally found out where you live (and wished you hadn’t), when you nearly fucked it all up the wall for a shitty bottle of Commodore Red…

Lieutenant Kitsuragi stayed through all of it. 

CONCEPTUALISATION [Challenging: Success] - They never made words to accurately describe how it feels when you think about that. When you think about him. 

1. [Conceptualisation: Impossible] Accurately describe your feelings, out loud.
2. “Thanks, Kim.”
3. “Okay I take back the worst partner, stuff. You’re actually the best partner.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Oh?”

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - He tries to hide it, but you definitely see him preen from the compliment.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Well I’m glad you’re finally seeing sense. Now,” He sets down his coffee again and slides his RCM folder in front of him on the desk.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - Impeccable and woefully absent of stickers.

INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Success] - Do not be fooled by its sensible exterior. That folder contains dark knowledge. *Secrets.*

VOLITION [Medium: SUccess] - If we’re considering his- and *your*- case notes *secrets* now, then you have not been paying enough attention.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Since I’m a man of my word, I’ve made the necessary arrangements for today. We’ll be slipping out a little early though, because I want to do this before it gets dark.”

RHETORIC [Impossible: Failure] You, uh...huh? Do what, now?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Challenging: Success] - Fuck! He wants to fuck!

VOLITION [Trivial: Success] - Alright, do we have any other suggestions, before we go with Kim wants to fuck?

1. [Logic: Challenging] Work out what is actually going on here.

         -2 Only 3mm of fabric…

     2. Nope. I’m afraid Kim wants to fuck.

LOGIC [Challenging: Failure]- You don’t really know what else he could be referring to. The only explanation here is that you are being *propositioned*.

COMPOSURE [Heroic: Failure] - Just like that? Dear God. You can feel your face heating up already.

1. “W-why don’t you wanna do it in the dark?”
2. “Wait, are you doing this because you actually like me? Or because you wanna do me a favour?”
3. “Oh jeez, Kim, this is all happening so fast. At least buy a guy a drink first…”

KIM KITSURAGI - He half-tilts an eyebrow.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Challenging: Success] - It sends electricity shooting up your spine.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Well, because if we did then we wouldn’t be able to see anything, for one.”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Kinky bastard!

KIM KITSURAGI - “And frankly, where we’re going, it will probably be safer as well.” He nonchalantly adjusts the few objects on his desk as he says this.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Not looking your way, because he’s expecting a big reaction from you.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Public sex? *Dangerous* public sex?! It’s too good to be true!

VOLITION - Isn't it just.

2. “Wait, are you doing this because you actually like me? Or just because you wanna do me a favour?”
3. “Oh jeez, Kim, this is all happening so fast. At least buy a guy a drink first…”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Um.” He blinks at you. “Both, I suppose? Why are you…”

Kim trails off, and then he just looks at you, his brow gradually knitting into something resembling confusion. “What exactly do you think it is we’re discussing here, detective?”

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Oh, this must be a *test*. He wants to know what this kinky public sex is going to mean to you. This is your chance to tell him about your *feelings*!

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Or we can just be in it for the kinky stuff, y’know, with none of the emotional dependency. Kim hates emotions anyway, he probably just wants to be fuck buddies with you!

1. “Fucking?”
2. “...Love making?”
3. “I’m starting to think that maybe I have absolutely no idea…”

KIM KITSURAGI -  He couldn’t have known it, but Kim chose a very bad time to take a sip of coffee. The moment the words are out of your mouth he chokes, and has to cover his hand with his mouth to stop him from spraying you with the boiling hot liquid. You watch him close his eyes.

In complete silence, he takes a handkerchief from his jacket, and replaces his hand with it, dabbing at his mouth. It’s only once he’s cleaned up that he even attempts to speak again. And when he does, he is very quiet.

“I was talking about me taking you to visit your old high school, detective.”

SUGGESTION [Trivial: Success] - I’m sure you already know this, and that you don’t need me to point this out, but this is not a *good* situation you’ve gotten yourself in here.

1. [Rhetoric: Legendary] Talk your way out of this nightmare scenario.
2. [Reaction Speed: Legendary] Jump out of the window.
3. Don’t try to save yourself, just babble and apologise until someone or something rescues you.

RHETORIC [Legendary: Success] - The words leap out of your mouth without you thinking. Which, really, is more or less the deal most of the time, but in this case it is a quality that will prove *useful* to you.

YOU - “Right, right!” You snap your fingers at Kim, “That’s what I meant! What I was saying is, uh, I *love making* my way to my old high school! Um.”

COMPOSURE [Heroic: Failure] - What’s that lump in your chest? Are you puking? Are you dying? Is Kim exerting his psionic control over you in order to murder you?

YOU - Whatever it is, you swallow it down and grimace.

KIM KITSURAGI - “I see. Thank you for the clarification.” He’s still recovering from the coffee he almost spat up, seemingly, the handkerchief still covering his mouth and his eyes still closed. “I am *relieved* to have cleared that up, actually.”

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He is perfectly happy to buy into your frankly terrible cover-up, if it means that neither of you have to talk about how you genuinely thought that Kim was suddenly propositioning you for sex. 

SUGGESTION - Is it really that hard to believe, though?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - It happened before and we can make it happen again! Once you pop, you just can’t stop, right?

VOLITION - For the sake of your sanity, I recommend that we do not think about *that* particular incident, and proceed as if, yes, it *is* that hard to believe.

KIM KITSURAGI - Eventually, Kim folds his handkerchief away and sits up straight again. He still can’t quite look at you, though. “I know you didn’t forget about the deal we made over this. Not after you kicked up so much of a fuss about it at the time.

YOU - “Uh…”

1. [Logic: Challenging] Recall what kind of deal you might have made with Kim.

         +1 You really did kick up a bit of a fuss.

         +1 Narrowed it down to *not sex*.

         +2 Something to do with a high school

     2. [Rhetoric: Legendary] Make up a new deal on the spot, and get Kim to agree to that one instead.

     3. “Actually, you don’t know that Kim. Cuz’ I *totally* forgot.” 

LOGIC [Challenging: Success] - Kim has more or less told you already. You both agreed that he would take you to visit the high school where you both first met, but only once you were able to stay sober for six months.

YOU - Wait, how did I forget all of this?

LOGIC - Because you didn’t want to wait for the milestone, and instead you tried to find the school yourself. You called up every high school in Grand Couron, but none of them ever had a gym teacher named Harrier Du Bois. So then you got frustrated and…

HALF LIGHT [Trivial: Success] - FUCK THAT SCHOOL! WE DON’T NEED NO EDUCATION!

LOGIC - That was more or less your line of thinking, yes.

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] - It seems you have made a habit of completely forgetting the outcome of events that don’t align with this new, *superstar* lifestyle you’re attempting to forge.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Success] - Yep, and that whole love making thing just now will be gone by the end of the morning too. You can count on me. 

1. “Oh yeah, I *totally* didn’t forget.” (Wink at him.)
2. “I did forget a little bit, yeah, but then I remembered again so it’s alright.”
3. “I dunno if I can honour this deal any more, Kim. On account of me not needing no education.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “That’s great.”

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - He might have preferred that you didn’t remember. He actually seems a little uneasy about this whole plan. About what it might unearth.

KIM KITSURAGI - “So then, we’ll be leaving at 5pm, and I will drive us over to Grand Couron. Any questions?”

RHETORIC [Trivial: Success] - Oh, *always*.

1. “Which school are we going to, exactly? I couldn’t find it when I looked myself.”
2. “What are we gonna do at some high school anyway?”
3. “Are you wearing underwear, by any chance?”
4. “Have you got any questions for *me*?”

KIM KITSURAGI - He blinks at you, and then you watch as his expression twists into something resembling disdain.

“So *that’s* what you were doing, making all those calls that day. You told me you were conducting interviews pertinent to our case.”

YOU - “Uh, yeah, Kim. The Case of the Missing High School, duh. Which is still very much under investigation, by the way.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Yes, well, if I told you which school it is now, it would be all you spoke about for the rest of the day. So I’m going to leave it as a surprise.”

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - Oh, that sounds mysterious as *shit*.

1. “What are we gonna do at some high school anyway?”
2. “Are you wearing underwear, by any chance?”
3. “Have you got any questions for *me*?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “I really feel like you’re trying to make it seem like this was *my* idea, and I don’t know why. I have no idea what you’re expecting to do once we’re there.”

COMPOSURE [Challenging: Success] - He isn’t meeting your gaze, instead unusually fixated on neatening the already neat things on his desk. 

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - The same pen has been moved from one side of his folder to the other five times now.

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - He has his own ideas of what he thinks- or hopes- will happen. Something is stopping him from just saying outright. 

1. “Yeah but, what do you *think* might happen?”
2. “I think that we’ll solve a mystery, obviously.”
3. “I think that we’ll probably both just die.”

KIM KITSURAGI - You see him shake his head almost imperceptibly. “I like to think that absolutely nothing will happen.”

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - *But knowing you…*

1. “I think that we’ll solve a mystery, obviously.”
2. "I think that we're finally gonna unearth my dark and troubled past."
3. “I think that we’ll probably both just die.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Yes, probably.” He replies, simply,

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - It would be somewhat fitting, he thinks, to go through all that you’ve both been through together, only to perish within the walls of a high school. He won't even argue against it being a possibility.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Anything else?”

1. “Are you wearing underwear, by any chance?”
2. “Have you got any questions for *me*?”

KIM KITSURAGI - Kim very carefully lifts his mug to his lips again.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Medium: Success] - Cautious after last time.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - Your usual pattern of conversation works perfectly well for him; you ask your seemingly endless series of disconnected questions and he answers each one with a surgical precision that only gives away precisely as much as he means to. When it’s him doing the asking, he can’t help but feel like he’s revealing too much of himself with the questions he chooses.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Hm. Yes, actually.” He takes a pensive sip of coffee.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - “Hoo boy! I got a good feeling about this! This is gonna be a *spicy* one!”

KIM KITSURAGI - Kim seems to take a painful amount of time to finally ask his question. Once he’s done drinking he adjusts his glasses, and then sets his mug back down on the desk. 

“Do you think you would like to actually get some work done now?”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - ...No one has let us down more than this guy right here.

YOU - You feel your shoulders slump a little.

1. “Is that it? Nothing…*spicy*?
2. “No, Kim, I would *not* like to actually get some work done now.”
3. “I don’t want to, but I *have* to. Because it’s my job, and I need it to live.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Well done detective,” he replies with a smile, “You’re learning.” He finally opens his folder.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Challenging: Success] - There, tucked into the pocket of the cover, is one of the notebooks into which he jots down all of his thoughts. 

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - There! That’s it! That’s where the secrets are! We have to get into that notebook!

New task: Read Kim’s super secret notebook.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Well then." He shifts a little in his chair, and then looks to you. "Let’s get started, shall we?”