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Castiel isn’t sure when he discovered or rather acknowledged what he could do with his almost infinite powers that he possessed as an angel, but it was most likely that time when Dean got a very unfortunate kick to the crotch and refused to let Castiel heal him.
Thinking about this now, Cas might see why this would be a problem, but back then it didn’t make any sense to him.
It happened when they were out on a hunt (like it always does, just another day in paradise) and a demon came at them with a crowbar.
A crowbar.
Now, demon’s are known for fighting dirty but even Cas knew this was a low blow (there should be a pun in here somewhere).
The moment the metal connected with Dean’s, well, crotch, Castiel could pinpoint the moment he realized that yes, this happened while Sam was in near vicinity which mean he’ll never live it down and no, he didn’t care about it because it fucking hurt as balls (another pun in here somewhere?).
Castiel had gotten quite a good grasp at human emotion by that time; in fact, he could say proudly, he’d mastered some of them himself.
But this emotion, displayed on Dean’s face, was something he’d never seen before.
And being the caretaker/healer/angelic force to be reckoned with in the group, he obviously wanted to do all in his power to make that emotion go away from Dean’s face.
When Castiel rushed to his side and slid down to where he was crouching, holding his hands between his legs and tears threatening to spill, Cas’ hand automatically went to his crotch.
Castiel was aware, of course, other purposes that this part of humans served, since being in one’s body had been a rollercoaster of discovering said purposes (it hasn’t been all smooth sailing but ever since he’d asked Sam about it and he’d gone all red and shoved him a magazine, Castiel thinks he gets it).
Dean’s eyes widened comically when his hands went to his nether region and he made a sort of choking sound before saying “Cas, what the hell are you doing?” in a squeaky voice (induced by the pain, Cas figured).
Sam had gotten rid of the demon (his face was covered in black goo) and had come towards them with a quizzical look on his face that threatened to fall in favor of an all-teeth smile.
Brothers are weird, always finding amusement in the other’s suffering, Cas thinks.
“I’m healing you. You look like you're experiencing severe discomfort.” Castiel supplied helpfully, hand still moving towards Dean.
The hunter, still holding his valuables shielded from the angel’s hand, swatted him away with the other, clearly flustered.
“Cas- No- I’m- I’m fine!” he stuttered, trying to get up.
Sam was now laughing, tears forming in his own eyes in comparison to Dean’s pain induced ones.
“But- You’re in pain.” Castiel said. “I can heal it, Dean. I just need you to let me touch it.” He had said this with such insistence and determination, Sam had doubled over in laughter, holding onto his stomach.
It resulted in Dean getting up, stepping away from Castiel with his hands shielding his crotch and with an honest-to-god scared look on his face.
“Dean, it’s just standard procedure, we do this all the time.”
“Standard- we do this- Cas, what the hell, man?”
“You’re in pain. I can help. What’s the big deal?”
“I’m- You’re- get your hands away from me!”
“I'm just going to heal you!”
“Not by touching me there you’re not!”
Sam must’ve found this to look like a cartoon, with Castiel chasing Dean over the parking lot to heal his dick.
After some time, Sam seemed to have enough and after drying his eyes he said: “This is crazy. Cas, let’s just go. You can see he’s very shy about you healing him.”
“He literally wants to touch my junk!”
Sam pulls a face that says ‘Yeah and I’m sure you don’t want that.’, and nods them towards the Impala.
After this incident, Dean didn’t look Cas in the eye for like a week.
When Castiel inquired Sam about his brother’s weird behavior, Sam went red but patiently explained this to Castiel.
You don’t just randomly touch another person’s penis. It’s not okay. Consent is important. Also, Dean’s repressed.
“But it wasn’t supposed to be sexual.” Castiel says with a blank face to Sam.
Sam chokes on his tea. “You should tell him that.” he then says, nodding solemnly.
Castiel misses the small smile on Sam’s face when he walks off to do just that.
He raises his hand to knock on Dean’s door but he hears Dean in his room.
Well, he hears him even without his super-hearing as an angel, because Dean isn’t exactly quiet.
Castiel realizes these as sounds one makes when pleasuring themselves. He’s pretty sure, since he’s seen enough movies. But there could be a chance that Dean’s just in pain.
But then Castiel hears Dean say things of affirmation, like ‘Yes, like that’, and he’s pretty sure he’s not in any pain.
Reminding himself of Sam’s words, Castiel leaves, not wanting to bother Dean and make him think he’s a creep who creeps. That’s also what Sam said about him, pointing to the fact that he rarely can keep personal space with people.
He’s gotten better, though.
A week later is the time Castiel realizes the extent of his powers. He’s never thought of it like this because, honestly, he’s only ever needed to use his healing powers on the Winchesters.
It also happens accidentally, but Castiel is fascinated right after.
One morning they’re in the kitchen, just him and Dean. Castiel comes in (not sleeping, he usually sits at the library and reads when he’s got nothing else to do) and notices Dean making coffee behind the counter.
Castiel’s hair is a bit ruffled from dragging his hand through them too many times, his trench coat loose and floating around him as he loosens his tie. He doesn’t even know why he still wears it.
So he bids Dean good morning and then moves to take off his coat.
“What are you doing?” Dean’s voice is almost accusatory so Castiel looks over.
“I’m removing my coat. Isn’t that what people do indoors?” He’s not sure where his sass comes from but Dean’s look is worth it.
He wasn’t expecting it, waving a hand towards Cas and saying incoherent sentences. “I- Yes but you never- I mean, yes, but you always wear it.”
He manages a sentence and Castiel raises a brow.
Then, he hears something. It’s Dean’s heart. It’s speeding up and his blood is rushing in his veins.
His lips are slightly parted and his eyes are fixed on Castiel’s now exposed forearms as he rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt.
A side note here should say that Castiel has always found Dean to be beautiful. His soul as well as his appearance.
Before Castiel knew what physical or sexual attraction was, he wasn’t entirely sure what he thought of Dean.
Now that he knows, he’s almost 100% sure he’s feeling something very mundane towards Dean. He’s accepted it as a part of his life. It didn’t matter that Dean didn’t think of him as such.
But he’s aware now how Dean is watching him. He’s seen this face before, he thinks. When Dean’s at a bar, eyeing a woman that he plans to take home.
It’s interesting and makes Castiel want to know what it means.
He puts his hands to his collar, pulling it up and sliding his fingers to the tie, unknotting it slowly.
He can hear Dean’s breathing stop for a moment as he inhales and holds it. He can see the green eyes widen a little and can see the pupils dilate.
Cas feels very excited, for some reason. It seems his body has gotten the memo as well, but he ignores it wilfully, focusing on Dean.
Dean’s hands are on the countertop, his hands grabbing the edge and the coffee forgotten on the counter.
Castiel takes the tie off with a yank and puts it over the chair along with his coat.
Dean’s standing stock still, but Castiel can hear his blood rushing, his eyes zeroing in on Castiel’s lips as the angel steps forward.
With the countertop between them, Cas can’t see Dean’s lower region. But he bets he knows what he’d see, if he could.
Dean doesn’t even protest when Castiel comes towards him, slowly around the counter, his hand sliding along the surface.
Dean’s eyes are now pointed forward, like he’s pushing himself not to look at the angel, but Castiel doesn’t mind.
He’s trying something. An experiment, if you will.
If he can cure diseases with a touch, explode people with a snap of his fingers, surely there are other more pleasurable things he should be able to do, right?
And Castiel realizes he wants that. He wants to make Dean feel good. He just wants to know how much or how little it would take to make a human experience that sort of feeling.
Castiel is at Dean’s side now and he leans onto the counter with one side, looking at Dean’s side-profile.
Dean seems to be wanting to speak, his lips parted in lieu of saying something, but he’s like a fish out on dry land, gaping with nothing to say.
Castiel smiles to himself as he raises a hand to his shoulder.
When he touches Dean’s shoulder the hunter shudders. Cas lets his grace flow through his vessel to Dean’s body and the hunter gives the smallest of gasps.
But it’s not enough - he needs skin on skin contact.
As Castiel’s hand slides from Dean’s shoulder to his forearm, he lets his grace do the work and suddenly, he can hear Dean say ‘Oh, God’ in a very low and small voice and he crouches over the countertop, his body shuddering.
Castiel feels accomplished and not at all embarrassed, like he probably should.
I mean, he did just make this human orgasm randomly in the kitchen, without his permission.
But, Dean’s eyes never conveyed any kind of reluctance, just hot and deep desire.
At that moment, the bunker door opens and Sam is strolling in with a pizza box in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other.
Dean’s look of panic sparks the same in Castiel, but before he can open his mouth, Dean’s gone faster than the wind.
“Hey,” Sam says in greeting and looks after his brother, bewildered. “What got into him?”
Not me, Castiel wants to say, but that’s not entirely true. Physically it isn’t, but if you count angelic grace-
“I think he forgot to turn off the rerun of Dr. Sexy. Doesn’t want to miss anything.” Castiel says in a calm manner, as if he’s not sporting a boner behind the counter.
“Huh,” Sam says, not entirely convinced and Castiel discreetly moves to the other side of the counter as Sam goes to deposit the beers in the fridge.
And that’s that, up until that very night.
Cas is going towards Dean’s room, to apologize or to see if Dean feels offended by what he did.
When he reaches and knocks, he’s almost instantly pulled inside and slammed against the wall with a very furious looking Dean up in his face.
“What the fuck?” he growls and Castiel doesn’t even pretend he doesn’t understand.
Well, he knows what’s being referred to but doesn’t understand the anger.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” Castiel says, sincerely.
A look of disbelief passes over Dean’s face and his hand is still pressing against Cas’ shirt, holding him in place (Cas could easily throw him aside but he quite likes this position).
“Uncomfortable.” Dean repeats and there’s some red in his cheeks.
Cas promises himself he won’t listen to Dean’s body right now, concentrating on what emotions are passing over his face and words he’s throwing his way.
“How did you even- You can’t just-” Dean stammers and then pushes against Cas even more, other hand going against the wall to hold himself steady. “You can’t just do that!”
“I thought I saw signs that you would have wanted me to. I apologize if I was mistaken.” the angel says, painfully formal.
Dean blinks. “Signs? What the hell are you talking about, man?”
“Well, your pupils dilated and your mouth hung open, your blood rushed to your nether region and you had that look that you sometimes get when you’re trying to pick a lady from the bar to accompany home.” Castiel ticks off the things mentally, making sure he doesn’t forget anything, like he’s being quizzed.
“My-My blood-” Dean seems at a loss for words and Castiel is beginning to get distracted by Dean’s closeness.
The hunter stares at him like it’s a contest and Cas stares back, waiting.
“You can’t just make me come with your angel grace!” Dean finally blurts out, his cheeks reddening some more.
Castiel tilts his head. “I can, too. I just proved it.”
“No, I mean- Consent is important, Cas!” Dean says, like that’s the normal thing to say.
Castiel doesn’t relent. “So you don’t want me to make you orgasm?”
“How the fuck did we even get here?” Dean asks, finally giving up and letting him go.
Castiel mourns the closeness when Dean steps back.
“So, you don’t?” Castiel double-checks. Consent is important, he repeats in his mind.
“I-What-” Dean stares at him in disbelief.
There are so many emotions going on, Castiel can’t keep track, but there’s something like anger, frustration, disbelief and finally, it would seem, Dean gives up on all of them altogether.
“What I want,” Dean says and steps closer again and he’s so close Cas can feel his breath against his lips “Is for you to do that with actually touching me properly, not some angel freaking grace doing it for you.”
Castiel is stunned into silence when Dean stares at him with defiance. It seems not even the hunter anticipated he’d be saying this but it doesn’t seem he’s backing down now.
“I can do that.” Castiel nods dutifully and Dean rolls his eyes.
“I’m still mad at you, idiot.” Dean tells him and then he’s on the angel, hands going to his stupid dress-shirt to get it out of the way, hungry lips devouring Castiel’s like this is what he’s been thinking about all day.
If Cas wouldn’t be so humble and reluctant to read Dean’s mind, he’d know for sure.
But Dean’s actions say it all, when he kisses Castiel’s neck and bites it with a fury that might just still be some leftover anger at Cas’ actions.
The angel pushes off from the wall and grabs Dean’s wrists, holding them to his sides and pushing him towards his bed as Dean watches him with wide eyes, lips still shining from their kiss.
“Come,” Castiel tells him. “Let me take you apart properly.”
And Dean lets him and Castiel never uses his grace for spontaneous orgasms ever again.
Except on Holidays.