Work Text:
Dear Taehyung,
I never imagined myself actually writing about my feelings but here I am..
I remember when we first met,you was sat quietly in class and I sat next to you.I tried to talk myself out of it,to just sit with my friends but how could I when you looked so elegant.
So pretty..
I know you weren’t particularly fond of me at the start,I mean,I was always asking you for the answers to the equations.It wasn’t because I didn’t know,it was because I wanted you to pay attention to me.
Luckily though,as weeks went by,you started to speak to me.Gosh,my heart went crazy when you would ask me how I was..Yes,it sounds stupid but I’m telling the truth.
Soon enough,we would talk out of class.
The way you would walk next to me so prettily without even trying..
Almost in that same month,we became friends.
I bet you don’t think about the time we met but I do..all the time.
And I’m so grateful for you to be in my life Tae.
The time I was so low in myself I thought about suicide,you stayed the whole night,calming me with your scent and body.
Why?
Why couldn’t you be with me?
Be my mate..
You’ve never shown any actions of ‘want’ towards me.I mean,I can remember the time our mutual friend asked you out.You acted so awkward around him for months and I’m so scared that’ll be me.
Yes,I like you but not enough to let you go.
Not enough for you to slip out of my little life..
Gosh,I don’t know if you can see but my god damn tears are messing up this page!Ugh,please ignore them Tae haha..
I’m such a mess
I’m laughing and crying
Honestly,I’m a little drunk.
I mean,no way could I write this completely sober.Well..I have written some other letters before but this is the one I’ll put through your letter box.
But,I am so sorry for falling for you.
You know how earlier I said that I ‘liked’ you,I think it’s love.
Love
I’m so stupid for falling in love
It hurts
It hurts so bad!
Where’s the fun in love like you told me weeks ago.Because from what I’m feeling,it’s just pain.
My heart has been hurting ever since you accepted that kid,Jungkook.
You know Yoongi,he’s never one to care much about people in love but he told me that he would try his best for us to get closer.For us to date.
I got so excited when he said something along the lines of ‘I feel like you have a chance with him..You two are so close that you two may as well date’
But that fucking Jungkook asked you out.
I cant be mad though,you were never mine to begin with.
When he approached us in the canteen,I was so confident you would reject him like you did with the others.
You said yes though.
My body felt numb.
So did my thoughts.
Yoongi hyung made a saddened look over me,pitying the fact that you was dating someone that wasn’t me.
What’s so different between me and him?
He likes sports,so do I.We both play video games.
Wait!
Is it because I’m not alpha enough,huh?
Is it because I’m smaller than him?
Fuck
He’s perfect
Strong muscles,tall,handsome and he can make you happy.
Why couldn’t I look like him?
Would you want me then?
I cant be mad at him though.
I’m happy he gave it a chance,something a pathetic alpha like me couldn’t do.
I just wish that everytime I was around you,I couldn’t smell his scent mixed into yours.Not only does it remind me of your relationship,it makes me feel unease not being able to smell you fully.
I just feel so down
You asked me the other day what was going on..Well now you know.
I’m in love with Kim fucking Taehyung.
My best friend.
Why couldn’t it be the other way round?Jungkook is your best friend and I’m the handsome stranger that swoops in out of nowhere to ask you out.
If I’m honest,I’ve spent days putting things together but I just can’t get over,how did he know you?
You’ve never mentioned him and I know for a fact you wouldn’t accept a stranger on a date.
Why do I care?
I’m so upset
Please Tae
This is too much for me,I can’t do it.
I cant be around you anymore and I know for a fact that you won’t want me around either after you’ve read this letter.
So,I did some thinking and I’m going to break our friendship.
I guess we’ll just have to ignore each other at school.
It’ll be for the best
Especially for me since my whole body is aching with melancholy.With torture.
I just re-read this whole letter and realised how selfish I sound.
Sorry
Again
Let me rap this up in the least-selfish way..
I wish you and Jungkook luck,I have a feeling you two are going to have a beautiful future together.Also,I wish you luck on your art test!I know you’ll do amazing (like always)but I just want you to know that I know you can do this.
Also,I’ve dyed my hair back to black,I know that you’ve always loved my ‘natural hair’ the most.
Anyways,once again,I’m sorry.
Stay safe♡
Love,
Jimin
—————————-
Taehyung sobbed quietly,holding the letter close to his chest.
His poor Jimin..