Chapter Text
Three days had passed since the arrival of the strange necklace of knotted lines of metal strung with leather. It had joined the growing number of artefacts they had placed in UN hands since the bomb; a numerical value to their cluelessness.
It was the third time in as many nights England woke up in the early hours in a cold sweat, gasping and trembling. And it was the third time in as many nights India was jerked awake by the sound, ridiculously light sleepers as they both were, and turned to see England next to her, fingers splayed over his eyes, half-coiled in his half of the duvet. And for the third time, India smoothed his hot hair and watched his breathing calm and listened to her questions being dodged and waved away.
But tonight, she broke the cycle. She propped her pillow against the headboard, leaned on it and took one of England’s hands in hers.
“England, you’re going to have to give me an explanation for this sooner or later.”
He smiled up at her slightly, “I’ve done quite a good job of avoiding it so far, haven’t I?”
She pushed a few strands of gold hair away from his still-pale face and raised an eyebrow.
“Really, I’m fine, India. I think I just need to get some air.” It had been his parting comment for the last two nights.
He made to get up but India pulled him back with the hand she was still holding.
“’Getting some air’ hasn’t seemed to help for the last two nights.”
“It helped me get back to sleep again.”
“Maybe talking to me might help too,” she suggested lightly.
England examined the stripes on his pillowcase silently.
India sighed. “Shall I…shall I call Wales or Scotland?”
England looked up in alarm. “Why on earth would you do that?”
India shrugged, “Perhaps you’d rather talk to them?”
England looked at her incredulously until she said, “Your brothers might be able to help more than I can. I know how much you enjoy suffering in silence but I’d like to spend a night without waking up thinking someone’s strangling you.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you up.” He didn’t say anything else.
They were quiet for a while. India drew him in so his cheek lay against her shoulder. They looked down at their legs, side by side, his stretching out past hers.
At last she said, “I know – I know there’s a lot we still don’t know about each other, but I’d like to think that there’s quite a lot we understand – or could understand – as well…”
She heard England smile, “I’m sure you understand the things I do better than I do myself. But this…it’s not…this isn’t…”
She stroked the hair at the nape of his neck.“What is ‘this’ we’re talking about?”
“Nothing really. Just a memory.”
“And this memory gives you such bad dreams?”
England traced the shape of her slender collarbone with a fingertip. “Look, India, it’s not that I don’t trust you or don’t want to tell you. It’s just that you know how awful I am at talking about these things.”
“Practise makes perfect.” They both laughed quietly.
“England, you’re not alright. I’d like to know why.”
“You don’t need to worry. It’s just a silly dream.” She could sense his embarrassment.
“Try and tell me. I don’t need a War and Peace sized tale. I just want to know about this silly dream.”
England was quiet again for a while. She waited for the thoughts in his head to form something coherent.
“Did you know Rome very well?” he asked at last. He could feel her surprise at this beginning.
“We weren’t close.” Her voice was measured, “We traded a lot and we talked a little. We were diplomatic enough, I suppose.”
“That makes sense.” England curved a hand lightly around her hip and moved his forehead closer to her jaw.
“I suppose you knew him far better than I did.” India continued, laying a hand on his back.
“You could say that,” he answered. India waited for him to rearrange his thoughts again. “You know, around the time of my empire, some of my people liked to compare me to Rome.”
“I remember that.”
“Well, I suppose we had our similarities. But – but I never…never quite did what he did. Not – not to colonies. Not to children.” His voice fell into a harsh whisper at the end.
India frowned. “What do you mean?”
England chewed on his words like they were cold meat. “He – he liked to have his way with his colonies. The younger they were the better. I suppose they were more scared when they were younger. “ He swallowed and spoke in a garbled rush. “I know my empire was cruel. I know I treated people badly when they were my colonies. I know I’ve done things I’m not proud of. But – But I never…never went that far with my colonies. Any of them.
India felt something cold twist in her stomach.
England continued, “He’d let you stay in his villa when he visited you. And he’d come in at night. He knew where all the rooms were, where all the guards were, so there was no chance of anyone ever…ever, you know.”
England swallowed.
India was silent.
Suddenly she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his head, holding him tighter than he could remember anyone else holding him. “I’m sorry.” she said softly, something new in her voice. “I’m sorry. No-one should ever…no-one should have to be treated like that.”