Chapter Text
Greetings and Felicitations. I am Chulakman. I am new to this environment on this global correspondence platform. I believe I type in whatever discourse I choose, and you read. Or read not.
I would like to express my gratitude to my friends, who I shall refer to only as Digger1 and The Black Widow.
Digger1 and The Black Widow have welcomed me in as family, and have exposed me to many Earth customs and cultures. Some of these include pizza, Star Wars, and places where humans do battle in rings of jello.
Digger1 and The Black Widow have exposed me to the many celebrations of this world. This time of year it is the decor of pine trees, singing at stranger’s domiciles, the consumption of cookies and candy canes, and something called Egg Nog.
I have watched Digger1 and The Black Widow for years now. They have grown quite fond of each other, and I believe them to be deeply in love. These two warriors of Earth have earned the right to mate.
Shall I begin a campaign to get Digger1 and The Black Widow together? Or do I knock their heads together and throw them in a locked room until they admit they both should like to mate?