Work Text:
Edith, Drusilla, Xander
calikocat
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Angel anything.
word count: 4528
A/N: Holy crud. I'm not gonna apologize for not having this posted at midnight like I wanted...because I lost internet around that time. Then I spent the next 5 hours worried a tornado would sweep me and my critters away. Other places got hit pretty hard, but luckily it skipped us. Still, my net didn't come back until 2pm...so...I'm just happy we made it through okay. One of my most stressful nights ever.
A/N 2: Warning for Scooby discord, I guess? Takes place several years after the fall of Sunnydale. Not comic book compliant. And Xander is paired with a guy. Don't like it, go read something else. ALSO Warning for mentions of past rape. Oh...and character death.
XXX
Xander was running late and he hoped he wouldn't be in the doghouse when he finally got home. It was supposed to be date night; but things had come up, one thing led to another and now he was late. He really hoped the take out, chocolate and movie he'd bought would make it up to Tor.
His phone chimed to let him know he had a text, and the only reason he chanced a glance at it was because the light had just turned red.
Unexpected company. Stop by the butcher.
The heck? That sounded like there was a somewhat friendly vampire at the house. He texted back. You okay?
Fine. We're talking.
Xander frowned. The only kinda friendly vampires he knew were Angel and Spike. Angel would never be welcome in their home, and Spike...if he was passing through, he might crash on the couch or something. But if their guest had been Angel or Spike, Tor would have mentioned their names.
As soon as the light was green, he made the turn for the butcher.
xxx
It was an odd sight that greeted him when he pulled into the driveway. Tor was still inside the house, sitting at the smallest of the front windows. It was open, the screen removed and he was playing checkers with the vampire lounging on the front porch.
Drusilla didn't look his way as she contemplated her next move on the checker board. They had managed to wedge one of the TV trays in the window frame for the board. It looked like they'd been playing a while.
Xander grabbed all the goodies he'd gotten and approached the house, taking the steps a bit cautiously. “Drusilla.”
“Hello Kitten.” She didn't look up. “Your boy is keeping me entertained, put your purchases away I can wait.”
He raised a brow but let himself in, closing and locking the door behind him out of habit. They continued playing while he warmed up the take out, then the blood, he even took a knife to add a few drops of his own into the cup. When he came back the checkerboard had been put away, but the tray was still there.
Xander offered her the cup of blood, and handed Tor his take out. “So, what's up Dru?”
“Tor led me on a merry chase,” She flashed a smile at them.
Tor glanced at him; green eyes worried. “It was fun, for checkers.”
Xander rested a hand on Tor's shoulder. “Drusilla, why are you here?”
She took a sip of her blood and smiled. “Delicious. I always wondered what you tasted like.” With a sad sigh she put down her cup and focused on him. “The stars have been speaking to me.”
“Is that good or bad?” Tor asked.
Xander smiled, but not happily. “It depends on what the stars have to say, right Dru?”
Drusilla nodded. “Indeed Kitten, and what they tell me now is troubling.”
Tor raised a brow and Xander shrugged. “Drusilla is a seer, always has been.”
“Ah.”
“What are the stars telling you?”
Drusilla looked up at him, eyes just as dark and brown as his own. “The Red Witch is meddling. She wants to fix me, but if she fixes me, she'll break me into so many tiny pieces.” She raised a brow. “And I won't be the only one she breaks.”
Xander sat down in the chair beside Tor. “She wouldn't.”
“The Red Witch is Willow right?” Tor asked.
“Yeah.” He took a steadying breath. “Do you know when she's going to try the spell?”
“You have a few days.” She shook her head. “We have a few days.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “I'm broken, Kitten. I know that, and someday someone will kill me. I'm fine with that, but you can't let her put back what was lost, because it’s already been found.”
“I know.”
“I don't want to be Edith again,” she whispered, her voice small and terrified like a little girl's. “Never again. Edith wouldn't survive even a single night.”
He smiled at her, but it wasn't a happy smile. “I know.”
“And neither would you.”
“Probably.”
“So, stop her Kitten. Don't let the bad witch destroy us. Not like that.”
Xander sighed as well. “I'll do my best Dru.”
xxx
“What the heck was all that about?” Tor asked two hours later, a mere fifteen minutes after Drusilla had wondered off into the night.
Xander pulled his husband into a firm hug. “Willow wants to curse Drusilla with her soul. The way Angel was.”
Tor clung to him for a second, before pulling back and meeting his eyes. “Why is that bad?”
“The soul can drive a vampire crazy. Sure, Angel moped around feeling guilty for a century before he actually started fighting the good fight. But Spike...it drove him mad for a while.”
“They should feel guilty, right?”
Xander shook his head. “No Tor. The souls were innocent. They weren't present when the vampires, demons, did all their killing. And before she was Drusilla, her name was Edith. Edith was very pure and innocent before Angelus got his hands on her. Edith, the girl, doesn't deserve the hell Willow is about to put her through.”
“What do you think Edith would do, if Willow gave her back her soul?”
“Probably kill herself.”
“And she came to you for help?” Tor frowned. “Is it because you're both seers? Does Willow even know you're a seer?”
“Probably not. I haven't talked to any of the gang for a few years now. Hard to put your life in someone's hands when you don't trust them. No one understood exactly why Caleb took my eye.”
“But you'll go back for this, for Drusilla.”
Xander nodded. “And for me.”
The frown turned to a glare. “What aren't you telling me?”
xxx
The Hyperion had been completely renovated and repaired after the final battle with Wolfram and Hart. Xander had never seen the damage, the last time he'd been there was just after the fall of Sunnydale. He sighed before paying the cabbie and then walked in the front doors. Once he opened a door, he could hear raised voices arguing. That didn't surprise him in the least.
A few steps inside and he found Angel pacing back and forth to his left. Center stage, so to speak, were Buffy and Spike. They were facing one another, eyes sharper in their anger than Buffy's scythe.
“Hope I'm not interrupting anything important.”
Buffy whirled to look at him. “Xander?”
“Yep.”
“The hell you doing here?” Spike asked.
Angel huffed. “Obviously he's here to throw in his two cents.”
“Huh.” Buffy narrowed her eyes at him. “It is quite the coincidence you're here now Xander.”
He shrugged and folded his arms. “Not really. Drusilla stopped by my house a couple of days ago for a visit.”
Spike tilted his head, curiosity replacing the anger he'd had. “Why did Dru come and see you?”
“She was concerned, about what Willow plans to do. Drusilla doesn't want her soul back.”
Buffy shook her head. “It’s not her decision...”
“The hell it isn't!” Spike snarled. “It’s her bloody soul, it should be her decision.”
Buffy ignored him. “How did she even know?”
Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing. “She's a seer. She's sees. How do you think she knew about Jenny translating the curse in the first place?” He sighed. “Buff, it’s a bad idea. Spike was nuts for a while after getting his soul. Angel moped around for a century. Drusilla will probably just kill herself if you put her soul back in her.”
“That's what we've been trying to tell them.” Angel grumped. “But they won't listen.”
Xander didn't disagree. “Yeah, the girls are good at not listening.”
“Don't you start Xander. You're the one who cut ties.” Buffy told him.
“Because Willow keeps trying to fix things that don't need fixing. Drusilla doesn't want or need her soul back.” He responded. “More importantly, Edith doesn't deserve to be cursed liked that.”
Angel froze and looked at him in shock. Spike was frowning and Buffy just looked confused. “Who is Edith?” She demanded.
“Dru's favorite doll.” Spike said. “She stopped carrying it around after Sunnydale...before that really. Said something about the real Edith had a new place.”
“That's because Edith was Drusilla. Edith was her human name.” Xander told them. “Just like you were William and Angel was Liam.”
Spike looked shocked, but Angel stepped closer to him. “How do you know that?”
Xander met his gaze. “I know more about Drusilla and Edith than probably anyone here.”
“Oh really,” Angel scoffed.
Xander focused on Angel. “Her name was Edith Monroe and she was Catholic. She had an older sister named Judith, and a younger sister Elisabet. Their mother was a widow named Marjory. To keep a roof over their heads she married her brother-in-law Desmond Monroe, a good man who was kind to her and his nieces. They were a happy family until Edith caught your eye.”
Angel was staring at him as if he'd never seen Xander before. “That's not in any Watcher journal.”
“No.” Xander confirmed. “It’s not.”
“Xander.” Buffy said. “How do you know all that?”
“Come on Buffy. Drusilla is a seer, and I'm the One Who Sees. It’s a different type of seeing, but I'm just as much a seer as she ever was.”
“I don't understand.” Buffy said. “What does that have to do...can you see her past in your head or something?”
“Not for the reason you think.” Xander took a few steps toward Angel, Angel backed away. “The first time I laid eyes on Angel at the Bronze my head was filled with a horrible memory. Angel with longer hair, on top of me, raping me, laughing as he tore me to pieces.”
“Bloody fucking hell,” Spike muttered.
“Every single time I saw him, a new memory surfaced. I remembered more and more...and I was sooo glad when eventually he left Sunnydale.”
“I don't-” Angel started.
“I remember being Edith...I remember it all. Her life, her torment, the way Angelus tortured, raped and murdered her family. No one was spared. He hurt her sisters first. Then her mother. Then her uncle. While he was still on top Uncle Desmond, thrusting and gnawing at him, my uncle he grabbed a fire poker and clobbered Angelus with the last of his strength and told Edith to run.”
He was circling Angel like shark that had scented fresh blood, the vampire's eyes were wide in shock. “Xander.”
“Edith ran. She ran all the way to a convent, begging for help and shelter. The sisters opened their doors and brought her into their order. Or they tried to, but Angelus followed her. He killed the nuns, dragged Edith to the altar of the church and raped her on it. Her mind broke.”
“Xander?” Buffy's voice was shaky now.
Xander was still circling Angel. “She broke and became Drusilla.” He sighed. “I remember all of Edith's life...and for an hour or so I remember being Drusilla. Then Angelus turned her and it all goes black.”
“Fuck.” Spike shuddered.
“And now I'm Xander.”
“I don't get it.” Buffy said. “You saw all that because you can see?”
“No.” Angel shook his head. “That's not what he's saying.”
“Then what?” Buffy had her hands on her hips now, looking mad. “What are you saying Xander?”
“Where do you think Angel's soul was when the Kalderash Clan restored it to him?”
“I don't know?”
“Heaven, Buffy. They ripped his soul out of heaven...best case scenario anyway. If Liam had been reincarnated, then the clan ripped the soul out of some poor innocent and stuffed it back in Angel's corpse. So, either that poor schmuck walked around without a soul the rest of their life, or the trauma killed them.”
“I-”
“We all know how well you dealt with being ripped out heaven. And how it affected Angel, and Spike...and you're just gonna let Willow do it again?”
“Won't be ripping Edith out heaven though, will she?” asked Spike, “because Edith isn't Edith anymore.”
“What does that mean?” Buffy asked. “You're all talking in riddles-”
“Reincarnation, Buffy.” Angel sighed and sat down on the nearest couch. “Xander is Edith...Drusilla's reincarnation.” He looked up at Xander. “You remember everything?”
“Everything Deadboy. Why do you think I hate you so much?”
Angel glanced at Buffy. “I thought the reasons were obvious.”
“I'm a better actor than you thought. I hate Angelus because I remember what he did to Edith, Drusilla, us.” He shook his head. “I hate YOU because you tried to feed me to Spike on Parent Teacher night to get back at me for the sexy dance Buffy did in the Bronze. Totally her fault but you tried to kill me over it. I hate YOU for almost killing me the night you were trying to fake Faith out. You clocked me and left me unconscious and fair game in the street for anything that might have come along to snack on me.” He sighed. “I was just a dumb kid and didn't deserve to have an ally try to kill me.”
“No one deserves that.” Spike muttered.
“You really remember being Edith and Drusilla?” Buffy asked, apparently ignoring the last part of his tirade, especially the part she'd played in it.
“Yeah Buff, and if Willow does the damn curse, she won't be ripping Edith out of heaven. She'll be ripping Edith out of me, and she better hope it kills me.” He warned her, hoping she'd listen.
“What? Why?” Buffy looked horrified.
“He wouldn't have a soul Buffy, if he survived. He'd probably kill anyone and everyone who ever hurt him with no soul holding him in check.” Spike told her gently.
“He's not wrong. Think about how bad Hyena Xander was...and think about what a soulless Xander might do.”
“Oh god.”
“Where is she?” Xander asked before he staggered and cried out, just like that he had his answer. “Oh shit...is she doing the curse now?”
“Yes...yes I'll stop her.”
“Too late.” Xander was sweating now, panting. “Oh god...Willow!” There was a flash of light, that brightened the room and almost blinded him. It hurt so bad, like he was walking through fire...like he was being pulled apart from the inside. Then it quit, and it was like everything snapped back into place. He survived, and seemed fine, everything was fine.
Except for the explosion a couple of floors up. Buffy was off like a shot, running up the stairs. Xander would have fallen if Spike hadn't caught him and carried him to another couch, far from Angel. “You still with us Xander?”
“Still here.” Xander groaned. “And really glad I'm covered with so many protection spells and charms that it would take about ten covens and Willow to pry my soul out of me.”
“You took precautions.” Angel said from the other couch. “Just in case you couldn't stop Willow.”
“Not for this specifically, I just know Willow, I've known Willow since we were five. I got tired of her using magic on me, so I got myself warded up.” At their confused looks he shrugged, and wondered how blind everyone was to the real Willow. “She wants to fix things, not because they're broken, but because she doesn't like it when things or people don't fit her view or version of the world.”
“She's unconscious but alive.” Buffy called down to them, she was carrying Willow over shoulder. “Can you help her Xander?”
He glared at her from the couch, his anger helping his strength return. “I could.”
She glared back. “But you won't?”
“Nope.”
“Xander!”
“No Buffy.” He stood, wobbled a bit, but managed to stay on his feet. “It’s time Willow learned a much-needed lesson. She can't make the world bend to her will without consequences. If I hadn't been ready for her, I'd be dead, or a monster.”
Buffy made it to Angel's couch and he helped her lay Willow down on it. “How long will she be out?”
“Don't know, don't care. She'll be in a coma for a while. When she wakes, she'll be weak as a newborn. After she wakes it may take a year for her to get on her feet.”
“Xander, we need her. I need her.”
Xander shook his head. “The lesson is for you too. Quit trying to fix what's not broken.” He headed for the doors.
“That's it then?” Angel asked.
“Actually Angel, I'd consider us even if I never have to see you or hear from you ever again.”
“Done.”
“Great. Bye now.”
“Xander! You can't just leave.” Buffy insisted.
“I'm tired, and I have a worried husband at home waiting for me. You try and stop me Buffy and I'll put you in a coma too. The world will have to do without the Red Witch for a while. Don't make it go without its greatest champion too.”
“Don't come back then,” she told him. “I don't ever want to see you again either.”
In that instant Xander wondered if Buffy realized she was a mirror of Joyce in her not so finest hour. “I didn't want to come back this time.” He didn't spare her a glance as he walked out the front door. He was done, a door was closed and it better not get opened again.
xxx
Drusilla and Tor were playing battleship this time. Xander walked up the steps, kissed the top of Drusilla's head and went inside. He came back with a carefully wrapped package and watched them finish their game. Drusilla won.
“That'll teach me to play boardgames with a seer.” Tor grumbled as he put the game away.
“Battleship is too stationary.” Xander told him pecking him on the lips as they passed one another.
“What?”
“With checkers your game plan changes as you go. With battleship you commit to your positions and can't move your fleet. Anyone with a bit of psychic talent could beat a null.”
“Your boy has a bit of talent, and good instincts.” Drusilla smiled from her chair just outside the window. “Sometimes his spotted dog growls at me.”
Tor met Xander's gaze and he shrugged. “You're not the only one with a bit of hyena left in them.”
Xander laughed a little and handed the package to Drusilla. “I thought you might want this.”
Carefully she took the package and unwrapped the cloth from it. Slowly, reverently she lifted up an old-fashioned doll. “Miss Edith.” Drusilla whispered, eyes watering. “When?”
“After Giles came to set Angel on fire. I tracked her down...when Sunnydale fell, she was out of town being cleaned and restored.”
Drusilla hugged the doll to her. “Mummy gave her to me. For a long time, Edith stayed, stayed in the doll and kept me company.” Her eyes met Xander's. “Until one day she said goodbye.”
He blinked. “Well...I don't remember that part.”
“Edith would, if the Red Witch had put her back in. Edith would have remembered you too.”
“It’s enough that I remember her, Dru.”
Drusilla nodded. “Will you stay with me until sunrise?”
“Are you sure?” Xander asked. “After all that?”
“It’s time, Edith was the Catholic, not me.”
“Dru!” Spike was there at the edge of the yard. “Are you really going to meet the sun?”
“Spike...William.” She smiled. “Come sit with us a while.”
Spike made his way across the yard, strides long and sure until he was on the porch and kneeling at her feet. “Drusilla. Don't.”
“I want to rest, William. I'm tired of being Drusilla and I can never be Edith again...not without hurting Kitten, and not without hurting me.”
Spike's blue eyes shot to Xander and they were grief filled. “Don't let her.”
“Spike, it’s her choice.”
“We have an hour before the sun rises.” Drusilla smiled at them both. “Tor, bring out the checkers please, and two cups of blood.”
“Way ahead of you, Dru.”
For the last hour of her existence Drusilla played checkers with Tor, Edith the doll in her lap, and Spike's head resting on her shoulder. Xander and Dru spoke quietly of the times when they had met up in Sunnydale.
Spike made a strangled noise. “Couldn't figure it out at the time. Why she'd meet you on that playground on the swings. Some nights I'd find you two swinging side by side. Other nights you'd be pushing her and she'd smile so bright.” He sighed. “It all makes sense now.”
Tor suddenly crowed in victory. “King me!”
Drusilla giggled and did so. “See, you did win.”
“You're a good opponent.” Tor told her. “I wouldn't mind playing against you again.”
She shook her head and looked eastward down the street. “Just a few minutes left. Mustn't be late.” She kissed the top of Spike's head, pulled away from him, and handed the doll to him. “This is goodbye William. Please take care.”
By the time she stood up Xander was out the front door and on the porch beside her. “Drusilla.”
Her thin arms wrapped around him. “Watch over him for me, at least for a while. Please Xander.”
“How could I refuse a last request like that Edie.”
She pulled back and smiled. “My sisters were the last to call me that. Thank you.” Drusilla kissed his cheek. “Time for us to part at last.” She sighed. “Don't live in the past, you aren't Edith anymore. You're not Drusilla either. You're Alexander.”
“I know. You won't be Dru much longer either.”
“I wonder where my demon will end up. Will I simply be no more? Or will I be returned to wherever it is demons come from?”
“I don't know.”
“Maybe I will sleep. Maybe I'll have a grand adventure.” She stepped off the last step onto the grass. The sun was rising. “It’s exciting.” She looked back at them, the sun was creeping across the yard, the edge of her dress was starting to smoke. “Be good my boys. Be well. Don't mourn.” She was on fire now but her face showed no pain.
Spike started to lunge toward her but Xander and Tor pulled him back. Tor whispered in his ear, “Come in Spike.” Then they dragged him just inside the door.
“Good boys. Keep William company while his heart heals.” She took in a breath as the fire completely engulfed her....and then she was ashes on the early morning breeze.
Spike collapsed in their arms; the doll still clutched in his. He said nothing, was practically catatonic as Xander scooped him up and carried him toward their bedroom. Tor went ahead to turn down the bed.
Together they got his boots and duster off and tucked him in. Xander closed the blackout curtains and they curled up on either side of him. He didn't cry, but he did eventually fall asleep.
xxx
Xander woke to the distant ringing of his cell phone. With a grumble he slipped out of bed, Tor was still curled around Spike protectively and Xander wondered if anything would come of it. There was history of all sorts between Xander and Spike. Maybe he'd stick around for a while.
The phone was still playing its ringtone and he tracked it down to the living room on top of the checkerboard. Luckily Tor had shut the window and locked up before they'd turned in. He saw it was Giles calling. Wonderful.
“Yeah?”
“What have you done to Willow? Buffy says you put her in a coma.”
Xander didn't answer, instead he had a demand of his own. “Why was Willow trying to re-soul Drusilla?”
“I don't know why that's important but if you must know we needed a more powerful seer on staff.” Typical Watcher's Council response.
“Well Drusilla is permanently unavailable. She met the sun this morning by choice.”
“Xander, you're not a Watcher anymore, you had no right-”
“I'm Drusilla's reincarnation, Rupert. I had more right than any of you to interfere. If Dru hadn't warned me about what you idiots were up to...I'd either be dead...or walking around without my soul. And if that had happened Giles, you all know you'd be on my kill list.”
“Would you really kill us?”
“Think about how homicidal Buffy was when Kathy was stealing her soul. I even told Buffy that soulless Xander would be way scarier than Hyena Xander.”
“Ah. Well.”
“If Willow had succeeded Drusilla...Edith would have killed herself...and I'd still be screwed. I don't think there's a spell for re-souling a human once the soul has moved on.”
“No, no there isn't.” Giles sighed. “I'll talk to Buffy.”
“Yeah, good luck with that G-Man.” He hung up and relaxed when he felt Tor's arms come around him. “Morning.”
“Morning. Is it done?”
“Oh, I hope so.”
“Cool, come back to bed for an hour.”
Xander nodded and let his husband lead him back to their room. Spike was still in the center of the bed cradling Miss Edith. “What do you think?”
“Of your crazy friends? Of Spike in our bed? Of you being a badass?”
Xander smiled. “All of it, any of it.”
“I hope we never hear from Rosenberg or Summers ever again. Giles is an idiot who still doesn't know you're a seer. Spike looks good in our bed.” Tor grinned. “I love you.”
“Would you two shut up, some of us are trying to sleep,” Spike grumbled.
Xander snickered and slid back into bed, Tor curled up behind Spike again and they all drifted back to sleep. He had no idea what would happen in the future, but at least the past had finally been put to rest and Xander was free.
XXX