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Something woke him, his eyes snapping open to take in the dark room of the skeevy motel they had chosen for the night. Dean’s fingers wrapped tightly around the ivory grip of his Colt, pulling it free of his pillow and rushing to sit up in a seamless, synchronized motion. In a matter of seconds the pistol was cocked and aimed at the figure standing over the full bed in which he’d been sleeping.
“Dean…” the gravel hush of his name in that voice sliced through the remnants of sleep, clearing his head enough for him to fully recognize the silhouette of his best friend, Castiel.
“Dammit, Cas!” Dean growled, carefully releasing the hammer and setting the pistol back beneath his pillow. Glaring up at the angel, Dean breathed deep to settle his nerves. Shifting on the bed so that he was sitting solidly with his feet on the thin carpet, he glanced back up to the other man. “Why are you standing there?” he asked, rubbing at his face with both hands before resting his elbows on his knees, hands clasped between them. A glance at the clock proved it to be two in the morning.
“I…” Castiel glanced away, his brows furrowed and face once again set in that perpetually perturbed expression. “I didn’t mean to wake you…” he deflected, turning back to gaze down at Dean. His expression softened and for a moment his eyes seemed to search the man’s face.
Dean watched him, confusion parting his lips and he shifted, again, sitting up a little straighter with one hand on his thigh and the other sliding to the bed beside him. It was that look. The one he wasn’t sure how to interpret; the one that gave him questions to which the answers made him...uncomfortable.
‘And why is that, I wonder…’ Dean thought to himself, not for the first time. His green eyes searched Cas’ face, landing on his lips, his neck, back up to those intense, dark blue sapphires gleaming down at him.
Castiel moved forward so there were only inches between them and Dean’s gaze dropped, unintentionally, so that he was staring at Castiel’s belt. Instantly he felt tight all over, heat suffusing his body and butterflies creating a cacophony in his stomach. His right hand tightened in the sheets beside him, his left forming a fist on his thigh. Jaw clenching, Dean’s vision traveled up the man’s torso, taking in the lack of a tie and the fact that Cas had left the top three buttons undone on his shirt. In the dim light coming from the window, he could see a pale triangle of skin and the shadowed cleft of his collarbone and throat. For a moment he flashed to the memory in his car, when he’d first told Cas to be more casual in his clothes, and the strange flutter he’d felt seeing that patch of skin even then.
“Cas…” voice rough, Dean swallowed and forced himself to look back into the angel’s face. His mouth parted, tongue darting to moisten his lips. It was there on the tip of his tongue to remind his friend of boundaries as he’d done so many times before. Any time Castiel had gotten this close, this...intimate...he’d forced himself to deflect. He’d push Cas away and break the tension with a witty remark, or some inane question not pertinent to the moment. Anything that would hide the true reason for his discomfort.
Except, lately, he couldn’t help questioning his motives in that action. If he were honest with himself, he’d been wondering about his reactions to Cas for the last few years. He could admit they had a deep friendship, forged in trauma, blood, and death. When you faced the literal end of the world with someone, fought beside them, died for them--watched them die for you--it changed the nature of your relationship. They had been family for nearly a decade, and for a long time Dean had told himself it was a brotherly affection; and yet...
Castiel inhaled sharply, as if preparing to dive into the deep end of a pool, and finally broke eye contact to stare down at Dean’s lap. Dean sighed heavily, both hating and welcoming the relief that came with being released from Cas' stare.
Uncertain piercing blues closed for a moment while Castiel tried to find the words he’d been keeping locked away. “I need to tell you something…” he released in a sigh.
“Cas...whatever it is…” Dean started, shifting on the bed, trying to make himself relax and failing miserably. With Cas no longer staring at him, it was easier to ignore the thoughts that had been floating to the surface; the feelings he hadn’t yet had the courage to face.
“It’s important, Dean.” Castiel quickly interrupted, knowing if he let Dean speak he’d stop himself, again. How many times had he been in a moment like this, wanting to confess his deepest thoughts, only to put it off? Too many times he’d let necessity, or duty, or even fear get in the way. Dean hadn’t told him to back off, this time. Indeed, he seemed to be waiting for him to continue. It felt as if they were on the edge of a precipice, preparing to jump.
“I need you to listen…” Castiel said, once again staring into the depthless green of Dean's gaze, willing him to stay silent. Dean swallowed, jaw clenching, again, but he managed to nod his head in a way Castiel had come to interpret as ‘go ahead, then.’
“Dean...you know I don’t sleep.” he started, watching the confusion furrow the other man’s brow. The expression, clearly wondering what that statement had to do with whatever was going on, brought a quick grin to Castiel’s lips so that he flashed even teeth. Glancing down and shaking his head, he continued.
“I try to find things to do to pass the time.” his eyes flashed to Dean’s face, then up over his head toward the window. “I listen to the music you’ve shared with me.” the grin became a soft, happy smile before he seemed to shrug it off and continue. “Watch television. Sometimes, when Sam is here, I’ll leave for a while…but…when it’s just us, as it has been, lately...” His voice faltered, the fear once again trying to stifle him so that the smile died on his lips.
Years of watching and learning from the humans around him let him know the terror and uncertainty was normal. Rejection could be a painful thing--he knew that first hand. This friendship was everything to him; and though he didn’t want to risk that loss, he knew he couldn’t hold back any longer. Earlier in the day they had battled another creature, saved another innocent. Watching Dean throw himself into danger, yet again, had nearly broken him.
It was what drew him inexorably toward the man--his willingness to put others before himself. The spirit with which he fought, the fury of his righteous anger at the monsters that threatened innocent lives. Even when that person was a complete stranger to him.
Yes, Dean was an amazing man. The Righteous Man. His soul made luminous with his selflessness. Didn’t matter if that selflessness was often a result of his own, deep-seeded self loathing. Yet, those same qualities that Cas had come to cherish were also those that left him in agony. What if, this time, they didn’t make it? What if, this time, there wasn’t anything to bring them back? So many times they’d died and returned, and each time Castiel had been drawn closer and closer to an undeniable truth.
“I don’t know why this is so difficult…” Castiel muttered, vision lifting to the ceiling, as if the answer might be there.
“What...what’s so difficult, Cas?” Dean whispered, head tilted upward as he regarded the angel. He knew, somehow, whatever came next, it would change everything. He could see that, clearly, even as he tried to hide from it. Like a child hiding behind their spread fingers so they can still see the frightening but exciting scene set before them.
Castiel dropped his eyes to Dean, again, his hand rising and reaching for the man’s bicep. It was a touch he’d given a hundred times over their years as friends, meant to express so many things. Always that same spot where Dean once held a brand in the shape of that same hand on his skin. Today it seemed a desperate attempt at a lifeline.
“To tell you the truth…” Castiel leaned forward, his other hand moving to rest on the bed beside Dean's, their fingers brushing. The touch was a jolt of electricity against the angel’s skin, racing through his body with exhilaration. It was not the first time he’d felt arousal, but never had it been so intense as it was with this man. Castiel crouched, his face inches from Dean’s so that he could feel the man’s breath on his lips.
The jade of Dean’s eyes seemed deeper, more brilliant despite the darkness of the room, as they widened. His fingers twitched beside Castiel’s, so that they brushed, again, and a shiver went through the hunter.
“When it’s just us…” Castiel continued, his hand sliding up Dean’s shoulder to his neck, fingertips brushing the base of his skull, thumb resting on the curve of his jaw. “I find myself watching you sleep, even though I know you find it unsettling. I can’t help myself. The way your face relaxes, the peace that settles over you...it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful, Dean.”
Dean swallowed, finding himself lost in the cerulean depths of Cas' eyes. The angel’s expression had shifted, the confusion and uncertainty clearing as he smiled softly. Dean’s heart pounded, his mouth parting and the surprise morphing into disbelief. He’d been called many things by many people--handsome, cute, sexy, pretty, even--yet, he couldn’t recall anyone ever looking at him the way Cas was looking at him now and calling him beautiful. Hearing the words fall from the angel's lips, seeing the shocking truth of it, the longing, left Dean trembling.
“Cas, I…” he choked, voice husky, but further words escaped him. What did he say to this person, this angel, who was staring at him like he hung the moon? What did he say when his best friend, one of the few people in the universe he trusted implicitly, whispered something he knew had a deeper meaning than the simple words chosen?
“It’s not just when you sleep, either…” Castiel dipped his chin, the smile widening, before he captured Dean’s gaze, again. “I have watched you for years, lived and worked beside you, and each day I find something….extraordinary. Your heart, your soul, your strength of purpose...you’re amazing. I feel lucky, every day, just to have known you. Even at your darkest moments, I still see you, Dean, and I love what I see.”
Silence met the statement, Dean’s expression seemingly frozen in stark surprise, cheeks flushed. He knew in his heart how he should respond, how he wanted to respond, but he couldn’t seem to move. To take that last step, to finally admit what he’d been fighting for so long; it seemed a chasm too wide to cross. Seconds passed, their breaths mingling while Cas seemed to scrutinize his very soul. Then the angel’s brow creased, a look of regret and grief flashing across his features as he turned away.
“I realize this must be...difficult. I know you can’t reciprocate. Perhaps if I had a female vessel things could be different…” his eyes wandered, to the bed, the window, up to the ceiling, before glancing back at Dean’s stricken expression. With a final soft caress of his thumb across Dean’s cheek, Castiel moved to stand.
“Cas, don’t…” Dean gasped, reaching out to grip Cas' hand before it could leave the bed. The angel stopped, eyes wide at the sight of Dean’s hand holding his, the other man’s fingers slipping so that they twined together. Castiel followed the sight of their clasped hands up the other man’s arm, slowly settling on Dean’s handsome face.
“You can’t…” Dean started, then glanced away to shake his head, licking his lips. “You can’t just say something like that and...and walk away…” Dean finally managed to choke out past the lump in his throat. “Not without at least giving me a chance to respond.” Dean stared at their woven fingers, thinking back over the years that he and Cas had been together. Memories surfaced that, when stood next to this new truth he’d been given, seemed to hold a different meaning. Though, really, was he surprised? It wasn’t that long ago he’d confessed to a priest that he’d been having...feelings. New feelings that he hadn’t been honest about, especially to himself.
Taking a breath, eyes fluttering closed, Dean gathered his courage and turned back to Castiel. When he opened them, it was to find the angel’s face once again set in a look of confusion and uncertainty. His stare had turned stormy with wariness, as if he was waiting for an axe to fall. Dean gave a soft huff of a laugh, shifting his head sideways in a subtle shake.
“Damnit, Cas…” he sighed, gathering his thoughts for several seconds. “Do you know why I pray to you?” Dean finally asked, eyebrows raised when he turned back to the angel. The confusion didn’t leave Cas' features as he shook his head.
“I assume because you need my assistance…” he muttered, causing Dean to nod sideways, his soft grin flashing across his lips.
“Well, sure...there’s some of that. The truth though…” The smile faded, Dean’s expression turning serious as he pulled Cas’ hand into both of his and stared at it. “I’ve told you before, Cas...I need you.” Dean pressed his lips into a thin line, finally forcing his green eyes up to stare pointedly at Cas, gaze penetrating.
“And it’s not because you’re good in a fight, or can heal me with that angel mojo of yours, though those are useful skills.” Dean swallowed, suddenly nervous beyond reason. Breaking eye contact, he tried to push away the doubt and the fear, work past the way his heart was trying to crash through his chest. “I need you because, besides Sammy, there is no one out there I can trust…” he faltered, trying to work through the wall inside himself. “Not with my life and…and not...not with my heart.”
The last was said in a rush as he jumped the chasm, voice escaping more as a soft breath than true sound. Castiel heard the confession just the same. A sudden sense of affirmation rushed through him and the angel quickly dropped to his knees before Dean, his free hand reaching up to cup the man’s cheek.
“Dean…look at me...please.” Cas' rough baritone dragged Dean’s face upward, his cheek shifting into the man's palm for a moment. Eyes still closed, Dean leaned into that touch, relishing the callused fingers against his skin. When he finally allowed his gaze to flutter open he was met with the brightest smile he’d ever seen from Cas. The other man’s gaze was a shimmering sea of unshed tears, but he blinked them away. Seeing that smile gave Dean the courage to keep talking; to finally let the wall crumble.
“Cas...your vessel...it doesn’t really matter.” Dean continued. “You, on the other hand...you matter a great deal. I just...didn’t realize how much or...or in what way…” he trailed off, still unable to find the words. He’d never been good with expressing his feelings, even with his brother, or their surrogate father, Bobby. Hell, even with the few women for whom he'd actually cared. Someone could probably write a whole book on his lack of communication skills and inability to properly express himself. Of course, for Castiel, the words weren’t necessary. The look in Dean’s eyes; the bewildered acceptance of where their friendship had led them. These were enough.
“Dean….” Castiel slipped his other hand free from Dean’s grasp, raising it so that he was soon holding Dean’s face. The touch was gentle, tender, and Castiel leaned in. “I’m going to kiss you, now.” he followed the announcement with action, pulling Dean toward him so he could press their lips together.
At first Dean stiffened, hands reaching out to grasp Cas' shirt; he wasn’t sure if he intended to pull the angel closer, or push him away. His body made the decision for him, heat blossoming anew in his very core and a soft groan escaping through the kiss as his eyes fluttered closed. Castiel breathed him in, letting his lips linger before finally pulling away to look at the man for whom he'd so desperately fallen. Lashes fluttered on Dean's cheeks before they parted to take in the angel across from him. They searched each other’s faces for a moment, Castiel wondering if he’d gone too far, Dean wondering why he’d stopped.
When they kissed a second time, Dean was the one to initiate. Hands sliding across Cas' sides, rising up his back, the hunter pulled the angel into him with renewed hunger so that he was bracketed by Dean’s thighs. Castiel's fingers slipped into Dean’s hair, holding on just as tightly. Doubt and reservations thrown aside, Dean tried to show Cas what he couldn’t form into words. He fed at the man’s mouth, nipping and sucking at his lips until the man moaned low in his throat; almost a growl. It sent shivers up Dean’s spine and soon he was lifting the angel and twisting them sideways so he could press Cas into the mattress with his whole body.
Castiel gasped with surprise at the sudden shift in position, noting Dean’s legs had spread further so that he was straddling the angel. Their bodies seemed to mold together and Castiel’s hips rolled against Dean's, their hardened cocks rubbing against each other through their clothing and sending a delicious tingling throughout Castiel’s body. Dean groaned, breaking the kiss to stare down at Cas with surprise and pleasure.
Castiel smiled, eyes radiating desire while he stared into Dean; he rolled his hips, again, this time with purpose, and was rewarded with a full body shiver from the man above him.
“Fuck, Cas...if you keep doing that, I won’t last…” Dean blinked back the stars that seemed to dazzle his eyes, wondering at the sheer intensity of the moment. Dean was by no means a virgin, even if it had been years since he’d been with a man. Still, he liked to think of himself as highly experienced, with fantastic endurance and stamina. As far as he knew, he’d never disappointed a partner, no matter how brief the encounter, but tonight he feared he wouldn’t live up to his own hype.
“I can’t help it…” Castiel muttered, pulling Dean down, again. “And I don’t want to…” Utilizing a move he’d only previously used in combat--though he’d seen it used in various pornographic movies he’d watched as 'tutorials'--Castiel planted his foot, then lifted and twisted his hips while simultaneously shoving up with his torso. The quick movement sent them tumbling sideways, reversing their positions. Dean gave Cas a startled look, causing the angel to grin suggestively before he leaned down to capture Dean’s mouth in another searing kiss.
Dean’s eyes closed with the press of Cas' lips to his, enjoying the feel of the man straddling him; taking control. He’d always loved a more dominant partner, someone who knew what they wanted and wasn’t afraid to take it. Never in his life had he thought that someone would be his best friend; his angel. Castiel deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping out to swipe against Dean’s full lips, begging entrance. Dean was quick to comply, mouth parting to let Cas plunge into him, the warm length of his tongue dancing across Dean’s.
He’d seen Cas kiss before, and had to admit to being impressed with his technique. Now, to be on the receiving end, the heat and sensuality were enough to drive him mad. Dean’s hips bucked beneath Cas and he felt the sudden urge to do more than make out. Another moan escaped him and his hands drifted downward, gripping Castiel’s ass to pull him tight against his hardened shaft. The action brought Cas up with a shout of surprised desire, the kiss breaking.
“Clothes...to many…” Dean managed to gasp before he sat up, his arms holding Castiel upright with the motion. Pulling back, Dean reached for the buttons on Cas’ shirt, swiftly pulling them apart to reveal more of the tanned flesh beneath. Though by no means ripped, Castiel’s body was leanly muscular, his dark nipples pebbled with desire. Somewhere deep down he’d wondered what it might be like to have his hands on the angel’s naked skin, but he’d always pushed the interest away, not wanting to ruin their friendship with idle fantasy.
Dean ran his hands across the angel’s chest, pushing the shirt apart and off his strong shoulders, suddenly hungry to finally live that fantasy. While Castiel finished shaking the sleeves free, Dean’s fingertips brushed over his skin, caressing his nipples so that the man gasped, head falling backward.
“Like that, do you…” Dean grinned, using the pads of his thumbs to trace small circles around the nubs. Castiel moaned deep, hips rolling and ass grinding down on Dean’s hard length still trapped in his black boxers. The sensation sent a pulse of pleasure straight through Dean, rushing from his dick across every inch of his body and back again. He was throbbing, almost painful with need.
“Fuck.” Dean gasped, hands going still against Castiel’s skin while he tried to regain control of his body. He felt like a teenager, ready to blow his wad before they even got started. Eyes fluttering open, he found Cas watching him, panting with his own desire.
“Dean...I’m not…” he laughed, shifting to rest his brow against Dean's. “My experience is...limited.” he said, arduous eyes closing while he gathered his thoughts.
“I know, Cas…” Dean whispered in return, chuckling softly. “That's okay.” breathing heavily, he pulled back, hands rising to cup Cas' face so he could look more deeply into those pools of blue. They were so bright and gleaming with passion, Dean found himself kissing the angel, again. This kiss was more chaste, a soft touch of lips. When he pulled back, Cas was smiling softly.
Tiny quakes coursed through Dean’s body when Castiel’s hands slipped beneath his t-shirt, lifting the hem up to reveal his muscular abs and chest. In seconds they were discarding the shirt off the end of the bed. Castiel followed the planes of Dean’s body with hungry scrutiny, something akin to wonder crossing his features as he followed the contours of Dean’s bare torso downward. The dark irises traveled across his shoulders, down his muscular chest and lean abs, hovering for half a second at the waistband of his boxers. While his vision wandered, Castiel's fingertips traced the lines of muscle with a feather touch, rapidly increasing Dean’s heart rate. The angel gently circled the tattoo on his left pectoral for a moment before trailing those fingers down the line of Dean’s stomach, stopping when he met fabric. When Castiel’s gaze came back up, it seemed predatory.
“Lay down…” Castiel gently pushed Dean back until he collapsed on the bed. For a moment he followed him down, pressing his mouth to Dean’s neck, shivering at the rasp of stubble against his lips, and trailing kisses down his collarbone, across his chest. His tongue darted out, licking gently at Dean’s nipple and eliciting a soft cry from the man. Dean’s hand came up, gripping Castiel’s head as if to hold him in place while the angel teased and nibbled on the sensitive nub. First left, then right, his tongue and teeth tormented until Dean was writhing beneath him.
When he was certain Dean couldn’t take any more, Castiel moved further south, nipping and wetly sucking on Dean’s skin. The hunter had his head tilted backward, mouth parted as he panted. When Cas stopped at the edge of his boxers, Dean managed to tilt his head up just enough to stare at the man in anticipation.
Castiel grinned, toying with the band of Dean’s underwear, slipping his fingers beneath the elastic. Dean’s already full lips were swollen with their kisses, his face flushed, pupils blown. Licking his lips, Castiel shifted down the bed until his mouth hovered over the tent in Dean’s remaining piece of clothing. Still watching Dean’s wide-eyed expression, he pressed a warm kiss to the hardness beneath the cloth, feeling it pulse against his mouth.
It lasted seconds before Castiel reluctantly backed away, shifting further downward until he was standing up. A groan of frustration escaped Dean and he fell back on the bed, hands rising to press into his face.
“Damnit, Cas...do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?” he growled, shifting so that one arm ended up pillowed beneath his head. Looking back to his friend, Dean couldn’t help but match the grin on Cas’ face.
“I mean to do this right.” Castiel offered, hands moving to unbuckle his belt. Dean watched Cas’ nimble fingers work the button and zipper on his pants as he finished undressing. The sight was intoxicating; slipping his free hand down his stomach, Dean cupped himself through the fabric of his boxers. He rolled into his own touch, but it was a paltry replacement for Cas'.
Castiel slipped his pants down, revealing tented, white boxers which he quickly gathered to shove down his legs along with his pants, the pile of which he kicked aside. In seconds he was gloriously nude, thick penis extended out from his slender body. The sight brought another groan from Dean, his hand moving against his own hardness.
The angel bent forward to rest his hands on Dean’s knees curled over the side of the bed and pressed into them in an impatient request for the man to part his legs. Dean’s thighs spread, knees lifting up while Castiel pressed between them so that his hands could slide up the soft skin. With a gentle grip, he pulled Dean’s hand away from his aching dick and leaned down to kiss the length, once more. Dean moaned, his hand rising to hover by Cas' head while he watched the man tease him and mouth at the fabric pressed tightly to his shaft.
Surprisingly deft fingers hooked into Dean’s boxers, pulling them down his hips until Dean’s long cock sprang free. Dean assisted in getting the offending cloth off of his body and Cas tossed it absently aside, though he never took his sight off the swollen, pulsing organ now revealed to him. Firm and sleek, it curved upward from a nest of blond curls to follow the line of his abs so that the darkened head rested just past Dean’s belly button. Wonderingly, Castiel let his fingers trace up the silken shaft, barely noting the heavy hiss that escaped the hunter when he wrapped his fingers around the tip.
“Cas...you don’t–you don’t have to…” It was the second most difficult thing Dean forced himself to say, tonight. Staring into Cas' hooded eyes, Dean’s face registered uncertainty and wonder.
“I want to, Dean.” Cas husked before he reached out to grip Dean’s hips and pull him further down the bed with a swift yank. A quiet yelp burst past Dean’s lips with the sudden action, but then Cas was on his knees on the ground, arms pressing into Dean’s thighs while his hand took a firm grip around his cock, and all thought vanished from the hunter’s mind. There was no warning, no build up. One moment Cas was looking at him, fingers pressed into him, the next the man had dropped his head and wrapped those sweet lips around Dean’s length, pulling him into his wet heat.
“Cas!” Dean arched his back, feet pressing into the bed as one hand gripped the pillow beneath his head and the other suddenly burrowed into the thick silk of Castiel’s hair. He tried not to push the angel onto him, tried not to buck his hips too roughly, but it was difficult to hold onto his courtesy when Cas’ hot tongue was sliding up his shaft, swirling around the swollen head of his cock. Cas repeated the motion, fast down and slowly back up, constant pressure of tongue and lips. With each upward motion he would flick and swirl the rounded head, pushing into the divet just beneath before sliding across the slit.
Soft groans and husky pulls for air filled the room, encouraging the angel in his ministrations. Dean managed to twist his neck so that he was watching Cas' work him in and out of his mouth, lips spread wide and glistening around Dean's cock as he pulled him deeper and deeper with each suck.
"F-Fuck. Ca-Cas, I--" Dean keened roughly, head falling backward against the pillow, again. If Cas heard or understood his attempted warning, he didn’t care. The angel sucked him, a hard pull that lodged Dean into the back of Cas' throat. When he swallowed, Dean came undone.
The orgasm crashed into the hunter, sending white sparks coursing through him and pulling a guttural cry from the man’s lips. Dean’s hips bucked uncontrollably, wave after wave of sizzling shocks rolling across his body. Castiel rode the movement, mouth wrapped tight around Dean’s cock, eyes closed while he swallowed the liquid heat that escaped him.
When at last Dean’s moans turned to whimpers and his dick began to soften, Castiel let him slip from his mouth. He licked his lips, wiping at the spit that had collected on his chin, and crawled back up the bed. Dean was panting, eyes closed tightly shut while he rode the aftershocks. Sensing Cas now lying beside him, Dean’s eye's flashed open and he turned to look at the angel.
“Where the hell did you learn that?” Dean managed the breathless question, realizing that he’d probably just had the best blow job of his life. He certainly couldn’t remember a better one. Cas shrugged, a flush across his cheeks.
“Pornography. Judging by your reaction, it proved an effective teaching method.” Castiel offered a lopsided grin and Dean laughed softly.
“I’d say…” for a moment he laid there, riding the high, before he realized Cas had done all the work with little reward. ‘Can’t let that stand.’ he thought, suddenly sitting up to rest his weight on one arm. Green eyes traveled the length of Cas' nude form, noting the man was still hard up. He had thoughts on how to fix the problem, but wasn’t sure he was ready to take that step. Of course, if he hadn’t been ready, why was he lying naked with the angel?
“What about you, Cas?” Dean finally tore his gaze from the man’s pulsing cock, lifting his eyes to capture Cas'. “What do you want...from me?” It was a fair question. After all, Cas had just given him a mind-blowing orgasm. He needed to return the favor, no matter his uncertainty.
“I don’t know...I wanted to make you feel good. I….” Cas licked his lips, glancing away and blushing a pretty pink. “I have...fantasies…” the blush deepened and he lifted his eyes back to Dean’s face. The other man seemed uncertain, but willing.
“What fantasies?” he’d already come this far, in every sense, he might as well continue down the path he’d chosen. There really was no turning back, now.
“I want…you…I want to feel you...” Cas stuttered, clearly struggling to find the right words to express himself, though the heat darkening his gaze made it clear he knew exactly what he was requesting. Dean licked his lips, a thrill coursing through him so that his dick twitched with renewed desire. The angel shifted as if uncomfortable despite the certainty in his blazing eyes; considering how aroused Cas appeared, Dean supposed any potential discomfort was actually physical..
Heart pounding, the hunter leaned in close, so their lips were practically brushing when he growled. “You want me to fuck you, Cas?” He grinned at the way Cas’ breath hitched with the question, the blue of his eyes so dark around the pupil there was no discerning one from the other.
Cas gave a decisive nod in response, lifting his hand to grip Dean’s hip and pull him closer. Dean bit his bottom lip, then closed the distance between them. Despite the hunger, the kiss was tender. An eager press with a brief darting of tongues that left a salt-sweet musk in Dean’s mouth as he tasted his own spend.
“That requires some assistance.” Dean whispered when he pulled away, his hand rising to brush across Cas' cheek. “Just, stay here…” with that Dean pushed himself off the bed, crossing the dark room to find his bag. He rummaged around the side pocket and Castiel watched him, brows furrowed.
“What do you mean, assistance?” Castiel asked, sitting up a bit more in the bed to try and see what Dean was doing. When Dean returned, he carried a square packet and a small bottle of something.
“It’s been a while, but this is not my first rodeo.” Dean gave a wicked grin and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Anal requires proper preparation if it's going to feel good. And I intend to make this good for you, Cas.” Moving back onto the bed, Dean set the condom and lube aside momentarily so he could pull Castiel into another heated embrace. When they pulled apart, gasping and shivering with renewed passion, Dean whispered in Cas’ ear.
“Lie on your side. I’ll take care of you.” He smiled softly and Castiel nodded his head, eyes wide. The angel complied, shifting on the bed so that he was soon curled on his right side. Dean was already rising to the second occasion and it didn’t take much to stroke himself back to full readiness. He tore the packet open, quickly sliding and rolling the latex down his length. Then he took the bottle of lube and popped the cap, squeezing a generous amount onto his fingers.
Cas watched him over his shoulder, fascinated by the man’s actions. When Dean shifted to lay behind him, his dry hand caressing down his back and over his ass, Cas groaned. He knew what was coming, even if he’d never done the act himself. He’d wanted to be prepared, just in case Dean had been willing, and so had watched many ‘tutorials.’ He had no idea Dean was actually experienced in this area, and that new knowledge made him regret all past hesitation in his desire for the hunter.
Dean used his dry hand to knead into Cas' flesh, pulling the cheeks apart to reveal the puckered hole within. He had to admit, Cas had a nice, supple ass, and when he spread it wide it seemed the man was already relaxed, hole fluttering and ready to take him. Dean grinned, then pressed his lubed finger against that waiting hole, gently circling the tight rim and eliciting a sharp gasp and gentle hum from his lover. He spread the slick generously before finally pushing his finger past the ring of muscle and Cas’ soft hum transformed into a filthy, dark moan. The lube made for an easy slide and Dean worked in and out, slowly.
“D-Dean…” Castiel breathed, more gasps and guttural whimpers escaping his lips. When Dean added a second finger, the angel pushed down against him.
“You okay?” Dean leaned in, resting his chin against Cas' shoulder to whisper in his ear and press a wet kiss to his neck. Cas nodded swiftly, biting at his lip
“More…please.” Castiel growled and Dean was happy to oblige. He worked a third finger into the man’s heat, resting momentarily to give Cas a chance to adjust before slowly pumping in and out. With each push in he spread his fingers, working gently to open Cas a little further. It didn’t take long to find that tiny bundle of nerves tucked away inside the angel, though he was careful to brush against it lightly; teasingly. Even so, Cas’ whimpers and strangled whines each time he played with that button made Dean grin wickedly. When he was certain Cas was ready, he pulled his hand free and used more lube to coat the condom.
Castiel keened softly, unhappy with the sudden loss of sensation and warmth inside him. Then Dean shifted and Castiel could feel him settle into the cleft of his ass, sliding to his entrance before pushing slowly into him. There was a sharp burn as Dean’s large cock moved deeper and deeper inside, but it quickly subsided into a pleasant warmth.
“Fuck.” Dean groaned as he seated fully into Cas' tight tunnel, his balls pressing into the curve of the man’s ass and thighs. Hand gripping Cas' hip, Dean leaned in and pressed a more gentle kiss to his exposed neck. “You feel amazing…” he whispered, and Cas moaned. “I’m going to start moving, now…” Pressing his forehead to the angel's back, Dean pulled slowly back out, then plunged himself in, again. A cry escaped the angel and his back arched, his rear pushing into the thrusts with eagerness. Dean repeated the motion, picking up speed, until he found an easy rhythm.
With each thrust Castiel sobbed in ecstasy. “Dean! Dean! Dean!” Something was building deep inside him. That hidden place Dean had found with his fingers was now being pounded relentlessly with each powerful thrust of the hunter’s hips; it unlocked every bit of pleasure he could have ever imagined. Dean held him close, arms wrapped around his chest while they’re hips rolled together, panting and moaning in sync.
“Cas...come for me…”Dean whispered, his hand trailing down to wrap tightly around the other man’s cock. He squeezed gently, then worked his hand up and down, matching the rhythm of their hips. Bliss steadily rising, Dean marveled at how easy it was to please this man, his angel...to love him.
“Dean. I–ah, fuck!” the curse tumbled from the angel’s lips, hot and dirty, thick spurts of semen spilling across Dean’s fist while his body locked up. The combination of Cas’ cries and the sudden tightening of the muscles around Dean’s cock sent him spiraling over the edge a second time.
Gasps filled the darkened room while the two men relaxed against each other, Dean pressing soft kisses to the back of Cas’ neck and shoulders. His large hand, absently wiped clean on the top blanket, ran up and down the angel’s thigh, hip, and side for a moment, trying to calm his racing heart even while soothing Cas. The angel was still shivering with aftershocks, but soon they subsided and he relaxed into Dean’s arms.
With the new calm, Dean had to take a moment to pull away, carefully slipping free of Cas’ body with a disappointed grunt. The loss of heat and sensation brought a whimper from the angel.
“Shh.” Dean soothed. “Not going anywhere.” he smiled reassuringly when Cas glanced over his shoulder at him, then shifted his attention to cleaning up. He made quick work of the used condom, pulling it free with a hiss and tying it off before sitting up enough to find the trash can to toss it inside. Nestling back down against his angel, Dean’s arms slipped around the other man, pulling him tight against his body.
Castiel’s arms came up, wrapping tightly around Dean’s in turn. Finding the hunter’s strong hands, he pulled them upward, tilting his head to press a kiss to Dean’s knuckles. Silence stretched between them, but it was surprisingly comfortable; then another shudder swept through Cas and Dean blinked.
Lifting up to find the angel’s face, he was surprised to see tears glistening on his cheeks. Cas smiled through his quiet weeping, causing Dean’s expression to switch from concern to bewilderment. Laughing and sobbing simultaneously, Castiel shifted in place and reached for Dean, pulling the other man into another tender kiss. When they broke apart, Dean sighed.
“Cas. Talk to me, babe.” Dean’s husky voice filled the space between them, his breath soft on Cas' mouth. The endearment he’d always used changed so easily on his tongue. With gentle thumbs he wiped the tears from Cas’ cheeks.
“I don’t know why I’m crying...” Castiel faltered, searching the jade irises that he’d come to love so much. “That was...beyond words...beyond meaning.” Castiel licked his lips and gave a shuddering breath. “Can happiness make you weep?” he finally asked and was rewarded with a surprised laugh from Dean.
“I’ve heard that happens, sometimes…” he pressed his brow to his angel's and smiled. He hadn’t felt this good in a long time. “We should probably get some sleep.”
“Dean…” Castiel grinned, remembering how they’d gotten to this moment. Dean shook his head, pulling backward to glare mockingly at the man in his arms.
“Okay, I should get some sleep...you…” he wasn’t sure what Cas would do. It seemed wrong to just leave him to his thoughts, again. After the night of epiphanies and confessions they’d had, the sex. Cas deserved better.
“It’s okay.” Castiel pressed his palm against Dean’s cheek, smiling. “I’ll watch over you, keep you safe...I...enjoy doing that.” he moved, as if intending to get off the bed, but Dean pressed his hand into the one on his face to hold him there.
“Don’t, Cas...you may not have to sleep, but you can stay here, with me…just...let me hold you.” Dean waited, breath held for a moment while Cas stared at him in surprise. Then the angel smiled even brighter. Dean didn’t even know why he’d doubted the answer.
“I’d like that.” he whispered in return. They spent a moment rearranging and pulling the bedding away from the mattress, then Castiel settled back against Dean while the man pulled the blankets over both of them. Pressing his face into Dean’s neck, he breathed deeply of his unique scent. “Thank you, Dean…”
Dean pressed a kiss to the top of Cas’ head, a calm he hadn’t felt in ages washing over him. He had no idea what tomorrow might bring; what dangers or trials they may face. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what to tell his brother, but that didn’t matter. For the first time since the hunter had met Cas, his angel, he felt right in his skin. Tomorrow would come, and they’d kick it’s ass. Together.