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Sat atop the torii at the highest point of Amakane Island, Ayaka had the perfect view of the southern portion of Narukami Island. She felt her gaze repeatedly follow the crescendo of Inazuma City, tracing the city’s lights upwards until they reached their peak at Tenshukaku. The night sky was clear of dark clouds and thunder, allowing a blanket of stars and a bright full moon to shine uncontested. Between the mild spring breeze and the mug of green tea in her hands, Ayaka was warm and comfortable despite the firmness of the gate she was perched on top of.
No matter where her gaze wandered, it always returned to the girl sitting next to her. Lumine was sat upright, twiddling her thumbs and enjoying the comfortable silence the two of them were sharing. Her eyes were directed skyward, making Ayaka wonder if, even after all this time in Inazuma, she was viewing the night sky with her stellar sense of curiosity.
Her theory was confirmed when Lumine turned to look at her, perhaps sensing her gaze. Beneath their golden tint, Lumine’s eyes flashed with the colours of a thousand galaxies. Under the weight of that and Lumine’s bright smile, Ayaka felt herself melt; her heart racing, her posture breaking, her cheeks reddening.
This was the girl Ayaka had fallen for.
Yet, soon she would be leaving her life. The way to Sumeru hadn’t presented itself yet, but Ayaka only had so long before Lumine left to continue the search for her brother.
Ayaka was determined to tell Lumine how she felt, and she was going to do it tonight.
Her mother had once told her that a swing that was practiced a thousand times could never be deflected. For the past few weeks she had practiced her confession countless times, committing the passionate lines to memory like an actor preparing for a big performance. She wasn’t born a wordsmith, but she wasn’t born a swordsman either and with practice she knew she could say what needed to be said.
Ayaka also had support from all of her friends and acquaintances. Thoma had coached her in raising her voice and speaking her mind, praising her efforts whenever he overheard her practicing. Yoimiya had encouraged her wholeheartedly, even setting off a small firework that had scared her to death but still got the message across. Ms. Hina had even addressed her question in her magazine column, reminding her that she’d regret not taking the chance to air her feelings now later on in life. The Oni her brother associated with had, to roughly paraphrase, given her ‘The one and Oni stamp of approval to get the girl of her dreams!’. Finally, Ayato was with her every step of her way, encouraging her and pushing away her doubts.
The stars had aligned on that night. Both in the literal sense of her and Lumine meeting and in the metaphorical sense of her support and training coming together. To top it all off, her fortune slip for that day had given her ‘Great Fortune’.
Ayaka gripped her ceramic mug lightly, noticing that the heat within it was dwindling.
‘No time like the present,’ she thought. She slowly shuffled her body to the right as much as she could, allowing herself to better face Lumine.
“Lumine…” she started, “If it’s not too much trouble, could I… say something?”
The words didn’t come out as boldly as Ayaka had intended, but Lumine didn’t seem to mind. “You could never trouble or inconvenience me, Ayaka.” she reassured, flashing her usual smile. “What did you want to say?”
Ayaka’s gray eyes scanned Lumine up and down. Her words were as cheery and uplifting as ever, but Ayaka couldn’t ignore how tense Lumine seemed. She had been balling her hands and twiddling her thumbs all evening too.
‘Was this the best time?’ Ayaka wondered, before vigorously scolding herself a moment later. ‘What am I saying! Theres not much time left!’ She swallowed, both in anticipation and to bury her doubts.
“Theres… Theres something I need to tell you.”
Lumine nodded, giving Ayaka the space to air what she needed to say.
Ayaka immediately felt the pressure of the deafening silence. The whistling of the wind, the rustling of the leaves in the trees nearby, the faint noise of activity on the ground below them; all of it seemed to stop in anticipation of her confession.
“I…”
She started scolding herself internally. ‘Why isn’t my voice coming out like it should? Why can’t I say what I want to say?’ It was if the words she had practiced were stuck in her throat, blocking it and increasing the pressure both inside and outside her body. Ayaka placed both of her hands on her chest, trying to steady her rapidly beating heart.
“Are you ok, Ayaka? Is something wrong?”
“N-No! It’s just…. I…”
Lumine’s face was softened with concern for her friend. Or at least that was the glimpse Ayaka had gotten. She couldn’t bring herself to match Lumine’s golden gaze.
‘I love you.’
She knew the words off by heart. She was so close to Lumine she was so close-
Yet the words never came, and her eyes were looking everywhere else. Looking everywhere for something to steady her breathing. At the ground below them. At the trees adjacent to them. At the stars above them.
At the moon.
Ayaka’s entire body jolted when she felt Lumine’s hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry Ayaka. I’m here. Is everything alright?” she asked.
“N-No! I mean yes! I mean… everything’s alright! It’s just… I…” Her gaze flitted across the heavens before coming to rest upon the brightest object in the night sky. “The moon…”
“The moon?”
“…The moon… is beautiful, isn’t it?”
Ayaka’s gaze fell towards the ground, clouded by a haze of bubbling disappointment. Her breathing was quiet and unsteady, dwarfed by the sound of her heart thundering in her ears.
It wasn’t until Lumine hesitantly lifted her hand from her shoulder that she felt her world start to crumble around her.
A thousand practiced sword strokes had allowed her to master Kamisato Tachi Jutsu and earn the gods favor. If a thousand repetitions and countless hours of practice wasn’t enough for her to confess her feelings, perhaps Ayaka wasn’t destined for love.
No, it wasn’t that. She had practiced amply, but in the pressure of the moment had taken the cowards way out and confessed indirectly.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t destined for love. She didn’t deserve it in the first place.
From where she had buried her head in her hands (or at least tried to while still grasping her mug), she hesitantly sneaked a glance at Lumine. She had fully retracted her arm and was fiddling with her hands again. The faint red she saw on her cheeks must have been a trick on the eyes, perhaps the result of the tears clouding Ayaka’s vision.
She started having morbid thoughts about what Lumine must be thinking. Discomfort? Disgust? Anger? Shame? Embarrassment?
Or nothing at all? It was likely Lumine didn’t understand the meaning behind her words.
It was also likely that Lumine just saw her as a friend. Ayaka had to consider this possibility during her practice, but it wasn’t until the current moment that the implications truly hit her.
‘Lumine didn’t love her and she was going to leave Inazuma without her and she might never see her again and she’ll never be able to love kiss or touch her-‘
“I would die for you, Ayaka.” Lumine’s voice was meek and unsteady, but still audible.
Ayaka’s entire body froze, going from shaking like to a leaf to being entirely rigid. Her train of thought instantly came to a stop. The ceramic mug dropped out of her hands, shattering on the ground below.
‘The expected response…?’
Did Lumine know? Did she mean it in that way?
“U-Um… If you don’t mind me asking… In what… way do you mean that?” Ayaka asked meekly.
A few moments of silence passed before Lumine spoke again. “Hmmm… How do I put this? I would die for you in both a literal and a… metaphorical sense.”
It was only now that Ayaka dared to look at Lumine. Her usually bright eyes deemed dull and unsure, and they quickly darted away as Lumine swiveled her head to the right.
Ayaka had never seen the hero of Teyvat so vulnerable.
“I would die for you too!” Ayaka exclaimed. Lumine’s face (or at least what she could see of it) seemed to brighten up after that, but any continuation Ayaka had fell back down her throat.
‘A metaphorical sense…’
She wanted so desperately to believe that Lumine had replied to her, but a scary part of her warned not to get her hopes up.
“Can I… do something that might… make this easier? Only if you’re comfortable of course.” A moment after those words left her lips Lumine grabbed the sides of her head and groaned in frustration. “Archons why can’t I just say it! Of course you wouldn’t be comfortable when I’m speaking in riddles!”
“It’s ok, Lumine!” Ayaka interrupted, her voice ending up louder than she anticipated. “You’re my dearest friend, so… I trust you… no matter what.”
Lumine stared wide eyed with an unreadable expression for a few moments, before taking a deep breath and nodding to herself.
She slowly and deliberately started shuffling along the torii, closing the distance between herself and Ayaka until they were sat directly next to each other. Ayaka felt herself shy away from Lumine’s gaze as it studied her face for a few moments.
She then felt Lumine’s finger against her left cheek, which bloomed red under her touch. Her fingers were calloused after months of combat and adventuring but they still felt warm and soft against Ayaka’s skin.
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and drew in close to Ayaka’s face, her lips brushing against Ayaka’s right cheek.
As Lumine pulled away Ayaka froze, cupping her hands around her mouth to hide her hitching breath, her bright red cheeks, or both. Perhaps it was to hide her groan of dissatisfaction. Ayaka wanted Lumine to kiss her more, touch her more.
“Forgive me for being so forward. It’s just…” Lumine stopped, seemingly to gather her thoughts, before continuing. Her tone of voice was quiet and light but laced with a sense of relief. “Only the Archons know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”
“Lumine…” Ayaka breathed. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes once again, but this time for a different reason. “Do you… really mean that?”
“Yes. I mean it more than anything, Ayaka.”
“Oh Lumine! I’m so happy!” Ayaka exclaimed. Relief washed over her body, she hadn’t felt this light for a long time. It took every bone in her body to ground her, to prevent her from devolving into a fit of gleeful laughter. “I’m so sorry…” she continued, quieter.
“Oh Ayaka. What could you possibly have to apologize for?” Lumine beamed.
“I wasn’t able to confess to you directly, even after all my practice. I’m a coward.” Despite her joy, Ayaka felt like Lumine deserved an apology. “I wish I was as brave as you are.”
Lumine seemed taken aback by Ayaka’s words, but they didn’t scrub the twinkle from her eyes. “I think you’ve got the wrong idea, Ayaka.” Lumine declared after a few moments of thought. “If that is what makes a coward, then I’m just as cowardly as you are.”
She observed the confusion and awe in Ayaka’s eyes before continuing. “I think I struggle just as much as you do when it comes to being open with your feelings. Paimon tends to speak for me most of the time, and even without her I only speak when I absolutely need to.” Lumine hesitated for a moment before proceeding in a shakier tone of voice. “To be honest… I’ve been scared of news on Sumeru for a while now. I want to see my brother so desperately but… I also didn’t want to leave without admitting my feelings for you.”
Ayaka couldn’t bring herself to speak, instead repeating Lumine’s words over and over again in her head. The vulnerability she had seen earlier wasn’t a unique occurrence. “I’m really sorry for not noticing your feelings sooner Lumine.”
“Please don’t apologize Ayaka!” Lumine suddenly interjected. “It’s not your fault. You were dealing with your own feelings.” After getting her fears off her chest and reassuring Ayaka, Lumine’s face seemed to soften and relax again. “Continuing with what I was saying before, about a week ago Paimon gave me the best advice she’s ever given me. Even if there are common ways for people to express their feelings, everyone has their own different ways of communicating. Some people can speak directly, some people prefer actions, some prefer gifts and symbolism. And guess what, Ayaka?” Lumine paused for effect, her grin growing wider and wider. “All of these ways of communicating are just as valid as each other!”
“Is that… really true?” Ayaka still had doubts, but it was hard not to get swept up in the other girl’s enthusiasm.
“Yes! Those cryptic words we shared mean just as much as any regular confession! So you’re not a coward, Ayaka. You confessed first, and that makes you incredibly brave.”
Ayaka felt her entire body rise, swelling with an indescribable rush of indescribably happy feelings. She kept her hands clamped over her mouth, as if to protect Lumine from being overwhelmed by a tidal wave of unrestrained glee. “Lumine… could you… hold me…?” she eventually dared to ask.
“I would love to.” Lumine cooed, snaking her left arm around Ayaka’s back. Upon feeling the hand rest upon her shoulder and pull her in close, Ayaka practically melted into Lumine. “Woah Ayaka! Don’t lose your balance!” she laughed. “I presume this is comfortable for you?”
“Yes… This is wonderful.” Ayaka swooned, taking in the sensations of Lumine. Looking directly into Lumine’s shining eyes. Feeling the warmth of her touch. The safety and security of the way she was holding her. Staring at the light of her smile. Listening to her light breaths and observing the rise and fall of her chest. The Ayaka that had woken up that morning couldn’t have comprehended how addictive every part of Lumine was.
“I love you.”
Ayaka gasped as she realized that those words had subconsciously left her mouth.
Lumine let out a melodious laugh which made Ayaka’s heart swell. “You see what I mean? You really are brave!”
Ayaka could only giggle to herself, nuzzling into the other girl further and humming appreciably when Lumine drew her in closer.
“The moon really is beautiful, Ayaka.” Lumine expressed, her gaze pointed skyward. “If you’ll have me, I’d love to spend the rest of my nights watching it with you.”
“Oh, Lumine…” Ayaka breathed. “Nothing would make me happier.”