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When Erik stepped into the dining hall, Malin at his side, he took advantage of the brief moment before anyone noticed him to survey the room.
Sweden’s elite mingled and preened; matchmaking mamas pushing their wealthy heirs into the arms of even wealthier heiresses, and proud fathers beamed and boasted, guilting their sons into talking business.
A motherly looking woman with luminous brown eyes had followed Erik into the room, and he watched as she hurried towards the handsome choir boy he recognized from Wille’s welcome assembly, who was looking tense and disgruntled next to a girl whose brown eyes almost perfectly matched the woman’s. The boy’s sister, and the woman’s daughter, if Erik had to guess.
He tore his eyes away from where the woman was smiling adoringly and ruffling her son’s curly hair and scanned the room for Wille.
His little brother was across the room standing next to August and other, less important, sons of old money, his smile looking more like a grimace than anything else.
At that point, people had noticed him, whispers travelling through the room quickly before people surged forward all at once to greet him- no, not to greet him , to greet the Crown Prince . So, he pasted on a smile and turned up the charm, shaking hands and smiling for photos, tamping down his frustration as his brother’s lithe frame disappeared behind a wall of people who Erik didn’t care about and who only cared about the idea of him rather than who he actually was. He hadn’t come to Hilerska to mingle with the same people he dealt with all the time- he came here to visit his brother.
Finally, finally , he’d posed for enough pictures and shaken enough hands that he could extricate himself from the throng of people to go find Wille.
Honestly, if Erik didn’t know how much Wilhelm hated his princely status and how anxious he got in crowds he’d be a little hurt that Wilhelm hadn’t sought him out. As it was, Erik understood his brother's hesitance.
Wilhelm was quite content to be the spare, the less important of the two of them- at least in the eyes of the press and, if Erik was honest with himself, their mother. To Erik, who had practically raised Wilhelm, and loved him more than he loved anybody else, Wille was the most important person in the world. Erik only performed his role as the Crown Prince so flawlessly to keep the brunt of the royal pressures off of Wille.
He didn’t want to think about how quickly Wille’s sweet nature and kind soul would be crushed under the weight of being Crown Prince and the force of their mother’s near-constant disapproval.
When he broke away from the throng, he took a second to scan the room for his elusive little brother. Instead of finding him skulking over in the corner like he’d expected, Erik spotted the familiar mop of dirty blond hair talking excitedly with the family he’d noticed earlier. As he watched, the woman reached out to smooth Wilhelm’s hair affectionately, and the smile Wille gave her in return was nothing short of adoring. Erik couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen his brother look so happy, his cheeks flushed and eyes shining.
Erik felt his Crown Prince smile soften into something much more genuine as he began to cross the room toward his brother. He didn’t make it halfway there before Wille caught sight of him and practically ran across the room, decorum be damned.
“Erik!” Wille beamed as he barreled into him, nearly knocking Erik off his feet with the force of his hug. Erik laughed and returned the embrace, albeit with a little less force.
“Hey, Wille.”
Erik was sure he must have looked impossibly fond, one hand coming up to rest gently on the back of his brother’s head, the other wrapped around his shoulders.
“What are you doing here?” Wilhelm exclaimed, pulling back. He looked years younger like this, Erik noticed, more like thirteen rather than sixteen when his face was completely alight with joy, eyes bright with enthusiasm. “I thought you were going to the state dinner?”
“I begged off.” Erik grinned. It was an easy decision really, either he could spend the night listening to politicians squabble or he could spend it catching up with his baby brother. Now, looking at Wilhelm’s elated grin, he was doubly sure he made the right choice.
“Erik!” A familiar voice boomed from behind him, uncomfortably reminding Erik they were still in public and around the press. He turned to face August, his big brother smile melting away to be replaced with his crown prince one.
“August, lovely to see you as always.”
He made tiresome small talk with August for a few minutes, Wilhelm still glued to his side but looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Actually, from the way he kept sending desperate glances towards the family he was with earlier he’d rather be talking to them .
Thankfully, August got called away relatively quickly by the headmistress to attend to some prefect duties.
“Probably wants to know why I sat those fucking non-res’s and their mother with the Ehrencrona’s.”
He said non-res like it was a dirty word, like winning a scholarship to the most expensive boarding school in Sweden was something shameful, instead of a commendable achievement.
Wille’s face darkened.
“Those ‘fucking non-res’s’ have names you know.” He said coldly, “Sara and Simon don’t deserve your scorn just because they don’t hold a title, and their mother, Linda, is a lovely woman.”
“How would you know?”
Wille flushed. “I met her earlier. When I was greeting everyone.”
“Hmm.” August's eyes narrowed in suspicion and he looked ready to argue. Luckily, just then the headmistress called him again, more insistently, and he slunk away, a final sharp look thrown over his shoulder at Wilhelm.
As soon as he was out of earshot Wille let out a breath, the tension draining from his shoulders.
“God, I hate him.” He muttered.
“He’s not that bad.” Sure, August could be tiresome and snobbish, but he wasn’t evil . Besides, he was family. Family was important.
“He is so that bad.”
“Come on, what’d he do?”
“He’s so obnoxious!” Wille burst out- well, as much as he could without attracting anymore unwanted attention than he already had just from being a prince at a public event. “His rowing practices are downright torturous, nevermind the fact that we have to get up at the asscrack of dawn for them. He’s rude, he’s stuck up, he’s so hopelessly entitled , and he keeps embarrassing me in front of-“
He cut himself off suddenly, flushing red as his eyes darted quickly towards something- or rather, some one- on the other side of the room.
“Embarrassing you in front of who?” Erik asked teasingly, trying to follow his brother’s gaze, but there were too many people clustered together for him to be able to tell who exactly Wilhelm was looking at.
“Nobody,” Wilhelm assured him quickly, cheeks still bright pink.
“Could it be the very same crush you mentioned on our phone call earlier?” Erik mused, enjoying how Wille’s face was getting steadily redder.
“No, I- I mean- yes, ok, but-“
He was saved from his floundering by the headmistress asking everybody to take their seats since the lunch would be served soon. Automatically, Erik moved towards August’s table, where two extra places had been set out. He was stopped by a slight pressure on his wrist and Wilhelm’s almost imperceptible head shake.
“Not there.” He murmured, crossing the room deliberately but obviously trying to appear casual while doing so. Erik mirrored him, following close behind but stopping here and there to say hello to people- it was something his mother would expect him to do, as the crown prince.
To Erik’s surprise Wilhelm led him directly to where the non-res family was sitting, next to the Ehrencronas- new money, but incredibly wealthy and Smysan came from the old nobility. The Ehrencronas were an incredibly powerful and influential family- it was odd that a non-res family had been seated with them. Erik knew how the class system at Hilerska worked and normally a scholarship family would not have been seated with a family like the Ehrencronas.
Then again, normally neither family would have both princes sitting with them, and yet, here they were. Although they weren’t sitting quite yet, and Erik wasn’t sure why. To his intense shock it was apparently because Wilhelm was being shy and deciding to ask permission .
“May Erik and I sit here?” It was clear he meant to pose the question to the table, but his eyes locked on the choir boy (Simon, Wille had mentioned earlier) as he said it, making the question much more deliberate.
“Of course,” Simon acquiesced quietly, looking surprised and entirely pleased, though his excitement didn’t carry with it the usual fake stickiness that came from people who only wanted Wilhelm’s favor because of his status. No, this boy’s smile was much more genuine.
The rest of the table’s occupants chimed in in agreement, and Wilhelm quickly took a seat at Simon’s left. Erik lowered himself into the seat at his brother’s side a bit more hesitantly.
He greeted the Ehrencronas politely, shaking Smysan and Anders’ hands and smiling at their daughter Felice. She only offered him a perfunctory grin and a polite hello before going back to her conversation with the non-res girl (Sara, if Erik remembered correctly.)
Erik turned to Wilhelm as the food was being served, his eyebrows raised in a ‘well aren’t you going to introduce me ’ sort of way, but Wilhelm wasn’t paying attention. Instead, he was sharing delighted conspiratorial smiles with the boy, Simon, completely oblivious to everything else around him.
Erik watched the two of them for a moment, intrigued, the beginnings of an idea forming in his head. Eventually Simon broke eye contact, looking bashfully down at his plate, and Wilhelm blinked as if waking up.
“Right,” he said a little too loudly after seeing Erik’s bemused stare, “introductions. You know the Ehrencronas already, Erik, but this is Simon and Sara Vasquez and their mother, Linda.” He indicates each of them in turn. Simon smiled awkwardly, looking slightly anxious, Linda offered Erik a warm, gentle smile, and Sara just blinked at him with her luminous eyes.
“It’s nice to meet you all,” Erik said, offering a hand first to Linda and then to each of the siblings (twins?) in turn. All three of their handshakes were warm and firm, callused palms and bitten down cuticles. Working hands.
Erik got drawn into a conversation with Smysan then, but he had trouble focusing on what she was saying, distracted as he was by watching his little brother interact with the Vasquez family. Wilhelm seemed joyous and content, laughter flowing freely and his smile genuine as he chatted comfortably with Linda and argued teasingly with Simon.
There was something going on there, Erik thought, though he wasn’t 100% sure what it was until halfway through the meal when he dropped his fork and saw his brother holding hands with Simon under the table when he bent down to retrieve it.
Well…that was new.
After he got over the initial jolt of shock Erik could honestly say he wasn’t surprised. Wilhelm had always been the odd one out in their family. When the topics of love and dating had come up he’d seemed equally indifferent- or interested, depending on the day- to people of all genders, not just girls. He’d also mentioned his crush earlier, and had refrained from using gendered pronouns, though from the enamored way Wilhelm was acting Erik wasn’t sure whatever relationship his brother had with Simon could be strictly called a crush. Maybe they weren’t official, but they were definitely something .
Erik shook himself out of his thoughts, forcing himself to concentrate on the conversation going on around him.
He’d get a chance to talk to Wille alone later, and hopefully also would have a chance to speak to Simon one on one. He had to make sure the curly haired boy would be good to his little brother, giving the latino boy the shovel talk was his duty as Wille’s older brother. Honestly though, from what he’d seen so far he didn’t really think he had much to worry about on that front.
Honestly, the fact that Wilhelm had allowed himself to get close enough to the boy to initiate some sort of relationship told Erik that Simon must be pretty special. Wilhelm was notoriously closed off and guarded- it was a defense mechanism to protect his sensitive heart. If Wilhelm had trusted Simon to see who he really was, then the non-res latino boy must be pretty special.
“I think that’s so lovely.” Linda was saying, as Smysan finished bragging- er, talking- about her latest charity fundraiser. “That’s such a good cause.”
“Thank you,” Smysan responded imperiously, “and what was it you said you do?”
“I’m a personal support worker over at the nursing home in Bjärstad, but I help out at the women’s shelter for domestic abuse survivors whenever I get the day off.”
“All three of us do,” Simon piped up, seeing the thinly veiled distaste on Smysan’s face, “they could always use more help. It’s a very important resource for the community and they never have enough volunteers or funding.”
“How…nice.” Smysan managed, sipping from her water glass daintily.
“What made you choose to volunteer there, if you don’t mind me asking?” Erik directed his question at Linda, hoping his smile would convey his genuine interest and wouldn’t come off as condescending.
“Resources from the shelter helped me a lot when I split with my ex,” Linda explained, meeting each pair of curious eyes at the table squarely, clearly unashamed of what she had just indirectly admitted, “I wanted to help others the way the shelter helped me.”
An uneasy silence followed Linda’s admission, no one seeming to know quite how to follow it. Simon and Sara had both shrunk into themselves at Linda’s remark, quickly stuffing their mouths with food and studiously avoiding eye contact. Sara’s cheeks were flushed- with humiliation or anger Erik couldn’t tell- while Simon looked like he might cry.
The look Wilhelm shot the latino boy was unsurprised but forlorn. He looked like he desperately wanted to help but didn’t know how. Sitting beside Sara, Felice seemed a little more surprised but no less affected, gazing at her friend with concern.
Erik cleared his throat. “Well, that’s certainly an admirable ambition, Linda. I’m sure you’ve helped make a difference for many vulnerable women and their families.”
Linda smiled and thanked him before changing the subject.
The rest of the lunch passed without incident, the forced conversation a little more tense than before, though everyone pretended it wasn’t.
Dessert was served buffet style, with tables being called one by one to choose from the vast array of cupcakes, cookies, and various fancy pastries baked by Hilerska’s private chefs.
Predictably, Erik and Wilhelm’s table was called first.
Erik noticed Malin eyeing the cupcakes longingly from where she was situated along the back wall and made a mental note to steal her some before he left. His bodyguard had the biggest sweet tooth of anyone Erik has ever met. It was a shame she wasn’t allowed to eat on duty, as the dessert table was probably something out of her daydreams. Erik figured she must daydream a lot,since she ended up standing around most of the time. Unsurprisingly, crown princes of relatively unimportant Scandinavian countries were not often targets of assasination attempts.
Erik took a few profiteroles for himself, watching fondly as Wilhelm’s eyes went round at the decadent spread before him. At home they almost never got dessert except for when they attended special events, and even then their mother was very strict, often dictating them to only take desserts that were relatively tidy, so they wouldn’t make a mess of their clothes or themselves.
There was no mother here to scold Wilhelm now though, as he piled about four cupcakes with different coloured icing onto his plate. Simon laughed at him as he did so, a single brownie the only dessert on his own plate.
“What?” Wille demanded when the three of them returned to their table.
“Nothing.” Simon shook his head, trying and failing to press away his fond smile. “I just thought that brownies were your favourite dessert, that’s all.”
“ Linda’s brownies are my favourite. The school’s are crap compared to hers.”
“They taste fine to me.” Simon said, pointedly taking a bite of his own brownie.
Wilhelm's eyes widened and he chewed quickly forcing himself to swallow a large bite of cupcake.
“You only say that because you are a heathen .”
Simon laughed.
“ I’m not the one with icing all over my face.”
Wilhelm’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Shit.”
He stuck his tongue out, attempting to lick the icing off the corner of his mouth. Simon looked away abruptly, his cheeks flushing. Unfortunately for him, Wilhelm noticed and he waited for Simon to glance at him before very deliberately licking his lips.
Simon let out a strangled sort of whine. “ Wille .”
Erik groaned. “Look, I’m totally cool with whatever you’ve got going on between you two, but can y’all please not eye fuck each other at the table?”
The boy's faces both flushed bright red, and Wilhelm glared at him.
“Shut up, Erik!”
Then he blanched.
“Wait, you- how did you-“
As stressed and embarrassed as his brother looked Erik couldn’t resist teasing him just a little bit.
“Oh shit, was this supposed to be a secret?”
“ Yes !”
“Well, you two are not subtle, like, at all .”
Wilhelm’s face flushed, if possible, even redder. To Erik’s surprise Simon just snickered.
“I told you it would be too obvious if we sat together.”
Wilhelm scoffed, that same fond look taking over his face as soon as he locked eyes with the other boy, “And I told you I didn’t want to sit with anyone else. Especially since I’d probably have to sit with August if I couldn’t sit with you. Besides, you’re the one who couldn’t hold it together because I was eating a fucking cupcake.”
“It’s not my fault you’re unfairly attractive!”
Erik burst out laughing.
“You two,” he wheezed, “are perfect for each other.”
Wilhelm abruptly sobered.
“You- Erik you- you can’t tell anyone ok? Especially not mama.”
“Wille…”
“You can’t!” He repeated fiercely, “Mama will make me break up with him, and if people here find out, or god forbid the press she’ll go ballistic. You know she will.”
“I won’t tell Mama.” Erik promised. “Of course I won’t. Come on Wille, give me a bit more credit than that. But you know you can’t keep this a secret forever.”
Simon pushed his chair back abruptly.
“I’ll let you two talk.”
“Simon-“ Wille tried, but the curly haired boy was already gone.
“What was that about?”
“He…” Wilhelm swallowed, looking miserable, “he doesn’t want to be a secret. We’re out to his friends, and Sara and Linda, but I know he hates sneaking around whenever we’re here.”
“Wille-“
“It’s fine ok?” He sniffed. “Whatever. We’re fine.”
“Wille-“ Erik tried again.
“We’ll talk more later, ok? Everyone else is coming back.”
He was right, the Ehrencronas, Linda, and Sara were on their way back to the table, dessert in hand. Simon was still absent.
“Fine, I’m holding you to that.”
“Yeah yeah whatever.”
Sara plunked herself into Simon’s empty seat and fixed her gaze on Wilhelm. She didn’t so much as glance in Erik’s direction.
“You’re coming over tomorrow night.” It wasn’t a question. In fact, it sounded more like an order to Erik, something that he (and Wilhelm) were not used to receiving as members of the royal family- from anyone other than their mother that is. However, Wilhelm didn’t seem offended, instead an affectionate smile spread across his face.
“Of course I am.”
Sara nodded. “You should come early. I want to try to finish season two.”
Wilhelm laughed. “We still have, like, six episodes left!”
“Seven.” Sara corrected him, “but you always end up staying longer than you plan anyway.”
“True. Alright, we’ll finish season two then. I’m desperate to find out who the black hood is anyway!”
“It’s Hal Cooper.”
“How do you know that?” Wilhelm's expression turned indignant. “Wait- did you watch without me?”
“No. It’s just obvious.”
“You totally watched it without me!” Wille smacked her playfully on the arm. “You cheater!”
“I swear I didn’t!” Sara giggled, “I didn’t !” She reiterated, seeing Wilhelm’s disbelieving look. “I swear! I just know it’s Hal Cooper. I told you, I always figure it out first.”
“No way! I’m convinced Penelope Blossom has something to do with it.”
Sara wrinkled her nose. “You’re wrong.”
“I guess we’ll see.”
“I guess we will.” Sara glanced across the room at where Simon was doing a poor job of hiding his melancholy, and abruptly changed the subject. “What did you say to Simon?”
Wilhelm mirth evaporated, and he flushed in shame. “Nothing new.”
Sara’s lips pursed. “I wish you didn’t hurt him.” She met Wilhelm’s eyes squarely, “You make him happy more than you hurt him which is why I like you, but I wish you didn’t hurt him at all.”
It wasn't an accusation and it wasn’t scolding, it was simply a statement of fact, a sister expressing her concern for her brother- but Wilhelm flinched anyway.
“I-I don’t want to hurt him.”
“But you do anyway.” Sara pointed out before Felice appeared and dragged her away, offering a quick excuse to both princes.
“What was that about?” Erik asked as soon as both girls were gone and it was clear that Linda and the Ecrenroha’s were engaged in their own conversation.
“Sara and I watch tv together,” Wilhelm offered, acting as if the second half of their conversation didn’t happen, “I go to the Vasquez’s for dinner every Saturday.”
“Is that why you don’t make me watch all those soapy tv shows with you anymore?”
“ You don’t appreciate my impeccable taste in television,” Wille responded loftily, “Unlike you, Sara actually has class.”
“Mmhmm. And what is it you two are watching right now?”
Wilhelm mumbled something unintelligible, his face flushing.
“Sorry, what was that?” Erik asked, a teasing smirk on his face.
“Riverdale.” Wilhelm mumbled a bit louder, his glare daring Erik to say something. They were interrupted before he even had a chance.
“That show is vile .” Simon said as he rejoined them, sliding yet another cupcake onto Wilhelm’s plate- an unspoken apology. “I can’t believe you’re still watching it.”
Wilhelm sent him an apologetic look of his own, his hand twitching like he wanted to reach out for the other boy before he thought better of it and grabbed the cupcake instead.
“I’m not having this debate with you again.” He sniffed, his mouth full of cake.
“Because you know I’m right.”
“Because I don’t feel like arguing with you and my brother. Two against one isn’t fair.”
Simon snickered, sharing an amused look with Erik. Before either of them could tease the youngest prince any further, August stood up from his table and started yelling for the rowing team to follow him so they could get ready for their demonstration in a few minutes.
Wilhelm let out a long suffering sigh and regretfully pushed away his plate that was piled high with cupcake wrappers.
“Well,” he gave Simon a look, “are you coming or what?”
“No.” Simon’s tone was carefully controlled, but his eyes told a different story. They were dark with anger and humiliation.
Wilhelm seemed confused. “What?”
“August sought me out earlier,” Simon explained through gritted teeth, “he made it quite clear that this demonstration was meant to show the true scope of the rowing team's talent and that my… abilities were not something he wanted highlighted in front of guests.”
“ What ?”
Simon sighed. “August specifically told me I’m not wanted or needed for the rowing demonstration because I suck and because I’m ‘not the sort of person who should be the face of the team ’. He doesn’t want me there. So, no, I’m not going with you because I’m not invited.”
Wilhelm looked angrier than Erik had ever seen him. It was almost scary- he wasn’t used to seeing his usually mild mannered little brother absolutely seething with rage.
“What. The. Fuck .”
“It’s fine Wille,” Simon sighed, “It’s not worth getting angry over. I’ve got to pick my battles, and considering I don’t like rowing much to begin with I don’t really care.”
“Did August really uninvite you?” Erik asked incredulously. He knew August to be a snob, but he didn’t realise he could be needlessly cruel.
“Yes,” Simon nodded, blushing a little in embarrassment when he remembered Erik was still sitting with them. “But it’s fine really-“
“-no it isn’t.” Erik cut him off, “You’re a member of that team. Your background doesn’t matter, and neither does your rowing prowess- you should still be included.”
“Thanks.” Simon muttered as August shouted again from the head table, clearly displeased with the lackluster enthusiasm from the rowing team.
“Well?” Simon jerked his head at Wilhelm, “Go on then. I’ll cheer for you.”
He shook his obstinately and dropped back into the seat beside Simon.
“No. If you’re not welcome then I’m not going either.”
Simon scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed.
“Wille would you just-“
“-no.”
“Wille please?” Simon begged, “Look, it's really sweet that you want to stand up for me, but you’ll just make things worse in the long run. Who do you think August will blame if you refuse to show up just because I’m not there?”
“Oh,” Wille bit his lip, “I didn’t think of that.”
“You’ll go then?”
“I’ll go,” he agreed unhappily, throwing one last forlorn look over his shoulder as he walked away.
Simon watched him go fondly, looking for all the world like a lovesick teenager. Honestly, Erik was surprised no one else had clued into the fact they were dating. They were not subtle.
“Shall we go watch them then?” He suggested.
Simon snorted. “Sure. I’d love nothing more than to go watch August yell for half an hour.”
“It’s character building.” Erik agreed solemnly, “He’s whipping Wilhelm and the rest of the boys into shape.”
“Ah, but who will whip August into shape?”
“ He will, of course,” Erik responded with faux bravado, “who better than to hold August accountable than August?”
Despite himself, Simon snorted. “Yeah. Real accountable.”
They fell into a slightly awkward silence then, as they followed the Hilerska parents outside and onto the grounds in front of the lake.
Simon shifted uncomfortably next to Erik, under the weight of everyone’s inquisitive stares, but he jutted his chin up defiantly as if to say ‘yeah, I’m walking with the prince. What’s it to you?’
Erik liked that about him. Anyone in a relationship with one of the princes needed a thick skin to withstand whatever barbs the press decided to throw their way. That would likely count for double when Wille eventually came out and introduced him as his boyfriend. Erik was glad Simon seemed like the sort of kid who would be able to take the scrutiny and the insults.
“So…” Simon started, after a few more minutes of awkward silence, “you’re Wille’s brother.”
“I am.”
“He talks about you, you know?” Simon confessed, meeting Erik’s eyes squarely. “A lot . Way more than he talks about anything else in his life. He really loves you. You’re his hero.”
A warm feeling trickled through Erik’s chest at that. He knew Wille cared about him and looked up to him, but it was different hearing it from someone else, someone Wille cared about and who was making a point of mentioning it. It made it more meaningful somehow.
“Wille talks about you too,” Erik informed Simon. “He’s never mentioned your name , but he spends a lot of time talking about his crush- having seen the way he acts about you he couldn’t possibly be talking about anyone else. I know…well, Wille mentioned that you don’t feel great about having to sneak around, which is totally fair, I get it. It’s just…seeing him with you makes me realize how unhappy he’s been for the past couple years, because I can’t remember the last time I saw him smile the way he smiles when he’s with you. You make him happy Simon, I don’t think you realize what a gift that is- both for him, and for me as his older brother. It’s fair that you don’t want to feel like a secret- just…don’t give up on him ok? I know he’s trying, but the life we were born into puts a lot of pressure on him. It’s stifling, no matter how much love he holds for you. And our mother… our mother has never understood Wilhelm, and she’s never even wanted to. It means she ends up hurting him, sometimes without meaning to, but sometimes on purpose to try to mould Wille into something he’ll never be. Wilhelm…he’s trying to fight for you, as much as he can in his own way, even though it might not be exactly how you want him to fight. Either way, please take care of him. He’s doing all of it for you.”
“I know he cares about me.” Simon admitted shyly, “I do . He’s too fucking sweet to me all the time for me not to. It’s just…sometimes we’ll be in public and I’ll be talking to him, and without thinking I’ll lean into him or grab his hand or something, and if anyone could see us he’ll practically shove me away. I know he isn’t ready to come out, and I respect that, I do , but it’s impossible not to feel rejected sometimes. It’s impossible sometimes not to feel like he’s ashamed of me.”
“He isn’t ashamed of you.” Erik said with certainty, “trust me, from the way he talks about you you’d think you were the reason the sun shines in the morning. It’s probably just his fear of being in the public eye. Wille has never liked media attention, and his anxiety attacks worsen whenever the press decides to keep him in the spotlight. I think he’s just trying to keep that from happening.”
“I- I don’t want his anxiety to get worse, and I’m not asking him to come out to the entire country. I just wish he could hold my hand when we walk to class or that I could kiss him on the cheek between periods.”
“Have you told him this?”
“Well…not in the same words but pretty much. He knows where I stand if that’s what you’re asking. We’re good at talking things out, we're just at different levels of the relationship, I guess.”
He fiddled with the cuffs of his dress shirt, refusing to meet Erik’s eyes.
“Hey, Simon, look at me.” Hesitantly, the curly haired boy met his eyes, “Listen, don’t think for a second you’re more invested in this than Wille is. Trust me- I know my little brother and I know that he doesn’t do casual relationships. If he’s with you he’s all in, and you must be pretty special to him.”
Simon looked away in embarrassment, but he looked pleased. “Thanks Erik.”
“No problem.”
“Do you think…” Simon seemed hesitant, “do you think he’ll be ready to come out soon? I mean, has he mentioned anything to you?”
“No” Erik admitted, “but he can’t keep you a secret forever, that’s not fair to either of you. Sooner or later he’ll have to do it, otherwise you’ll have every right to walk away from the relationship.”
“I don’t want to lose him.” Simon mumbled, “I just don’t want to feel invisible.”
“That’s understandable.” Erik assured him kindly, the same way he would Wilhelm, “Don’t worry about it too much, ok? Something tells me you two will be alright.”
Having reached the edge of the lake, they were interrupted then by the Headmistress introducing the rowing team, giving a short speech about how they’d won their first race of the season, and about how it was all because of their ‘dedication, camaraderie, and teamwork’. At that, Simon couldn’t seem to hold back his derisive snort.
“Dedication? More like August’s tyranny and the threat of castration if anyone’s so much as a sneeze late for morning practice. And don’t even get me started on ‘teamwork and camaraderie’, unless ‘camaraderie’ means stuffing my uniform in the trash can unless I triple lock my locker.”
“They’re really that bad, huh?”
“The majority of them.” Simon scoffed, disgust in his tone. “Mostly August and his cronies. Some of the other first years are ok- nice even on a good day- but nobody's fool enough to cross August so I’m usually the one who ends up getting shit on.”
Erik was being forced to come to terms with a side of his cousin he’d refused to acknowledge for a long time today. As much as he hadn’t wanted to admit it, August was not the upstanding man he pretended to be. It was a hard pill for Erik to swallow, but one he was starting to realize he should’ve swallowed a long time ago. August’s family issues and past trauma didn’t give him an excuse to bully others- it seemed he needed to be reminded of that.
“Oh look,” Sara said by way of greeting as she and Felice joined Erik and Simon, arm in arm, “the rowing is starting.”
She was right. On the lake, August shouted an order and the small boats with teams of four pulled away from the docks, muscles in the boys arms flexing as they threw their weight against the oars.
“Go, Wille!” Erik cheered. Sara and Simon exchanged a glance and shrugged before joining in.
They hooted and hollered, but despite their best encouragement, Wilhelm’s team (that included August) came in second place out of three boats. Simon made sure to cheer extra hard to make Wille feel better. It seemed to work, if only for a moment, if the lovesick grin Wilhelm shot Simon was anything to go by. However, it disappeared a second later as August got Wille’s attention and (presumably) started regaling him with some sort of story or lecture.
The longer Erik watched the more annoyed Wille appeared, his fists clenching and jaw tightening every time August’s obnoxious guffaw echoed across the grounds.
Erik could see the moment August took it a step too far. As he watched, Wille’s hands curled into fists and his face darkened. Whatever August had said, clearly Wille wasn’t going to stand for it.
Erik just hoped Wille would withstand the urge to punch August in the face. That was a headache and a media storm they certainly didn’t need.
A second later Wille was storming over to Simon, his face red with anger, furious tears in his eyes threatening to spill over.
“Can I kiss you?”
Simon’s eyes widened in surprise but he didn’t hesitate.
“Yes.“
“Perfect.” Wille raised his voice, shaking his fist furiously at where the rest of the rowing team was sitting, August included. “Hey! Hey August! FUCK YOU! ”
Then, somehow both tenderly and aggressively at the same time, he grabbed Simon’s face in both hands and pulled him into a bruising kiss.
A chorus of gasps echoed across Hilerska’s grounds as every Swedish elite saw the prince of Sweden kissing a boy. Someone squealed, a camera flashed, and August looked more constipated than Erik had ever seen.
Wilhelm smiled into the kiss as chaos erupted, a million conversations starting at once at the same time every photographer and wannabe influencer at the event started taking photo after photo.
‘Well,’ Erik thought, watching his little brother and his boyfriend making out and the chaos that had ensued because of it, ‘that was certainly one way to come out to the nation.’