Work Text:
“Kiss me once, then kiss me twice. Kiss me once again.
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Peter Parker was tired. So incredibly tired. He thought he knew loneliness before. He knew it when Uncle Ben died. He knew it when Mr. Stark died. He knew it when the entire world turned its back on him. He knew it when May died, but he hadn’t known true loneliness until now. When everything had happened in the past, when he had lost so much, he still had Ned and MJ. He had May. And even in those very last moments, he had Peter 2 and Peter 3, who he had begun to see as his brothers in such a short time.
Now he had no one.
Ned and MJ didn’t know who he was. Their faces showed no recognition whenever he stopped by the place where MJ worked just to catch a glimpse of them. Happy didn’t recognize him when they would occasionally bump into each other at May’s grave. Hell, even Karen and E.D.I.T.H. didn’t recognize him, locking him out of all his suits. That one hurt a lot for some reason, he had hoped that at least AIs would remember him. Not even Stephen, who was Peter's last connection to Tony, who changed the spell six times because he wanted to remember Peter too, who indirectly told Peter he loved and cared about him in those very last moments. He was completely, truly alone.
The hurt and loneliness took him over like a plague. It became hard for Peter to do even the simplest things. Never before had he felt such deep pain and heartache that he could physically feel it tearing away into his chest. He reckons if it weren’t for Spider-Man, he would have swan-dived off the empire state building a while ago. Peter 2 did say it had a great view.
However, it all became too much. Peter was drowning quickly, and not even spider-man, he was afraid, could save him. As he opened the door into his shitty apartment, somehow he knew he wouldn’t be walking back out of it. God, I’m so tired. Peter thought. No one even knows me anymore. They wouldn’t miss me. I’m just causing myself more pain at this point. He had thought about suicide before, but never to this level. Never to a level where he had gone and bought an extra-strength rope from the store. Never before where he had written letters to people who didn’t even remember him or know he existed. But never before had he been drowning so fast. “It’s kind of pathetic,” Peter said out loud with a self-deprecating chuckle. “The amazing spider-man goes out by killing himself, couldn’t even stay around long enough to have some big baddie do it for him.” But hey, he thought, it is kind of badass that the only person who could take you out is yourself. Peter shook his head and grabbed the only chair he had in his little apartment. He hung the rope from his ceiling and set four letters down next to him in visible sight. Inhaling, Peter stepped on the chair, an almost giddy feeling flooding him. I’m coming May, Tony. I’ll see you both soon.
Peter Parker took his last breath five minutes later.
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Stephen Strange was reading in his study when he was suddenly impacted with a throbbing headache. Doubling over in pain, Stephen groaned as his memories came flooding back to him. Peter. He thought. But why am I remembering him? Did the spell not work? Where is he? Oh god is he ok? Frantically Stephen searched for his phone and called Peter. No response. He tried again. Straight to voicemail. Something was wrong. An idea suddenly popped into his head. If I remember who Peter is, then maybe his friends do too.
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“Jesus Christ!” MJ screamed as Strange portals straight into her work. “What are you doing here?”
Strange fixed her and Ned with a frantic look. “Do you two remember? Peter Parker, do you remember him?”
“We were just talking about that sir,” Ned jumped in, “We were just sitting here scrolling through tik tok when we both got like crazy bad headaches, and then boom! We remember Peter!”
MJ nodded along with Ned as he continued to wave his arms around in an attempt to explain what he was feeling to Strange. “We’ve both already tried to call him, it’s gone straight to voicemail every time. I’m worried that something is wrong.” MJ said, biting her fingernails.
Strange deeply sighed, “That’s why I’m here, he wouldn’t respond to me either. I was hoping he had answered you two.”
Ned and MJ looked at each other frightened as they began to fear the worst.
“It’s ok, we can keep calling him until he picks up. I know where May is buried too, we could send someone to camp out there until he visits her.” Ned nodded along with MJ, quickly typing into his computer. “I can find out where he’s staying pretty fast, all I have to do is track his phone’s last location and then we can”
He was cut off as their phones began lighting up with notifications. Hurriedly, all three of them rushed to open them in hopes that it was Peter returning their calls. It wasn’t.
On each individual phone, the trio had all gotten the same heart-dropping news headline notification from The Daily Bugle. MJ let out a choked scream as she opened the article to find a picture of Peter.
Teenager found dead in his apartment, authorities report death by suicide.
Ned’s mouth gaped open, “N-no, that’s not true, Peter wouldn’t do that, would he?” he stuttered out as tears began to roll down his face. MJ had collapsed to the floor in a fit of chest-wracking screams and sobs, and Stephen had been frozen in place.
“The spell,” he muttered, “it only applies to people who are alive,” he forced out. He didn’t even notice that he, too, was crying.
“It’s not true, it can’t be! Strange please, tell me it’s not true! Tell me he’s ok!” Ned cried frantically as he pleaded with Stephen.
Stephen fixed the teenager with a grim look and slowly shook his head, tears streaming down his face. Ned began sobbing even harder, collapsing onto the ground next to where MJ was. He was gone. Peter was gone, and they had forgotten him until it was too late
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A week had passed since they had received the news. A letter written by Peter had been delivered to each of them, including Happy, apologizing for leaving and saying how he couldn’t go on, he had addressed it in a way that he figured they wouldn’t know who he was. Apologized for sending out random letters from a person they didn’t even know with their last words scratched on the papers. But they knew him. They knew him and they remembered each moment with Peter as they sobbed over the letter. They remembered him when they attended Peter’s funeral a week later. They remembered him for years to come as they each individually visited his grave sight whenever they could. They never really healed from it either, a gaping hole in their heart forever there. Forever feeling overwhelming grief and pain when they thought about their closest friend, no, their family.
The city of New York had addressed Spider-Man's appearance and had chalked it up to something with the Avengers. MJ knew better, and it hurt her so much every time she looked into the sky in hopes of seeing her spider swinging around. She doesn’t know why the magic was so cruel as to only make Peter’s closest friends remember him after he was gone, but it hurt, even more, to know that barely anyone had any recollection of her Peter. Her wonderful, wonderful, Peter.
“Hey Pete,” MJ said as she brushed her fingers over his headstone. “I miss you, a lot.” Fighting back tears, she placed a white rose by his grave, and an identical one to May’s grave, who sat just to the left of Peter’s.
The only thing that brought her peace was the thought of Peter reuniting with everyone he had lost. With May and Ben, with his parents, with Stark. MJ pressed a kiss to Peter's headstone, “I’ll see you soon ok Parker?” she choked out, “I’ll be back soon.” She placed her headphones into her ears as she walked away. Her music played in her head as she wiped stray tears from her face, the trumpets of the song flooding her brain. Kiss me once then kiss me twice, kiss me once again. It’s been a long, long time. No matter how much time passed, MJ knew she would never be whole again. She discovered the world without Peter Parker was an incredibly dark one.
“You’ll never know how many dreams I dreamed without you, or just how empty they seem without you, so kiss me once, then kiss me twice, kiss me once again. It’s been a long, long time.”