Work Text:
Alex tapped his fingers impatiently on the table. The steady thump of the wood on the tips of his fingers barely carrying the sensation past his knuckles despite how hard and loudly he tapped. He was probably annoying other customers, but he couldn’t give less of a shit considering he could smash the flimsy thing into pieces with a single thought.
Morgan was running late .
Every week, the two of them would schedule some time to hang out for an hour at a random Cafe. One usually chosen by Morgan themself, since Alex could go anywhere he wanted and his measure of ‘ reasonable distance ’ was ‘ unreasonable for normal people ’ and ‘ took too much gas ’. Which, although accurate, never made a lot of sense to him. If travel was the issue, he could’ve just taken Morgan with him but they’d waved his easy solution away.
“It’s more fun if we just play it by ear. Don’t you want to see what the city looks like when it’s not under threat of destruction? ”
As much as he hated to admit, Morgan was a pretty convincing person. Unlike himself, where his powers did the work for him, Morgan was trained in the art of conversation. As a D-Tier Villain, they’d had to learn when and where to use a silver tongue- with a corrupt hero to buy themself some time or to earn enough favor with a distributor to strike a well-favoured deal. They even used it a month ago to get free garlic knots for their movie marathon when ordering pizza over the phone .
Alex would consider their skill a power of it’s own.
Maybe that’s why they both got along so well?
“Would you like a refill, hun?” The waitress interrupted his thoughts.
He nodded silently, retracting his tapping fingers and pushing forward the empty coffee mug with a sigh.
Where were they..?
The waitress looked at him sympathetically.
“I’m sure your friend will be here soon.” She said, refilling his cup.
Alex took the mug back and politely thanked her as she walked away.
He could just find out where Morgan was and stop whatever was keeping them away…
He propped his head against his arm on the table and groaned. Skewing the sunglasses he was wearing but he just pushed them back into place.
… But that literally defeated the purpose of these weekly outings. They had an agreement. Well- No- They had a lot of agreements, not just one. If one of them was away for a while the other had to feed their pets/take care of minions. Don’t track mud and blood into Morgan’s apartment. Don’t go near the acid pools unless you’re impervious. Stuff like that.
But this agreement was important!
No work-related talk on Coffee Tuesday. [Amendment: Even if it’s not on a Tuesday]
That part was Morgan’s idea. Their lives couldn’t always revolve around death and destruction, or so Alex had been told, and it was actually kind of nice to just hang out and talk about the latest TV shows or what one of Morgan’s Henchmen’s Daughter’s were up to.
“Them being my Henchman doesn’t count! It’s part of a social relationship, completely separate from work!”
It was interesting to see how easily Morgan was able to shed their villainous layer and walk amongst the other mundane people that Alex so easily ignored.
For him… It was arguably more challenging.
Being a villain was all he was . He was a great one, obviously, but trying to piece together the person underneath without his power and influence was difficult. Part of him wondered if there was anything even there .
So, to make it a bit more fair on his lesser superpower-inclined friend, Alex had taken it upon himself to not only cut out work talk, but to drop his abilities altogether.
They couldn’t actually leave though, and they were always brimming under the surface, so he found something that would only dampen his power.
A pair of sunglasses.
The very same pair he wore in that moment. They were made of a special material that the heroes had formulated to create his own special little prison cell out of. Unfortunately for them, it wasn’t quite as strong as it needed to be and he tore the pitiful cage apart. He’d kept a large chunk of it, as a souvenir, but he never thought he’d actually find a use for the stuff.
They were a dark color, almost black, with little strains of a deep purple littered in the specially crafted cracks. Heavy and solid. He rarely used it and they were easy to take off… but not having to wade through the thoughts of a hundred people and only scanning the menu for funny typos instead of grimacing at the microscopic bacteria was a wonderful change of pace. It was different and the glasses themselves easily disguised his unusual eyes from customers; Instead of forcing everyone to accept it as normal through mental influence.
Morgan called him stupid for willfully muting his powers for the sake of an enjoyable coffee experience, but Alex took that as a challenge too.
That being said, he didn’t want to lose said challenge just because Morgan was a few minutes behind.
He glanced into his mug, bitter liquid staring back with a swirling gaze.
It was probably something stupid , he thought to himself.
Like laundry pick up. Or running into someone and dropping their bags, Morgan wouldn’t leave them to pick them up alone like he would. Or they slept in late.
Maybe they got shot in the ankle.
The infinite possibilities that rolled through his quiet - quieter but never quiet - mind could be solved with just one snatch of his glasses. It could be so easy, if he just pushed them up a teeny bit then-
The shop's doors slammed open, the bell rigged at the top with a soft chime catapulted off the wall with a sharp clang and into some poor souls drink. Morgan stood in the doorway, breathing hard and sweating despite the gentle breeze Alex remembered feeling before coming in. Their hair was a mess of tangles and their clothes were either part of some trend Alex was unfamiliar with or near ripped to pieces.
From the other occupants wide eyes, he was betting on the latter.
They were holding a metal briefcase.
Morgan saw him and smiled .
“Hey buddy!” They called happily as they walked, briefcase in tow, and plopped themselves down on the other side of the booth. “Sorry about being late, got caught up in something- How was the movie yesterday? Pretty awesome, right? ”
Alex blinked. He licked his thumb and pinched the end of Morgan’s hair to put a stray ember out.
“It was fine.” He said.
It was atrocious, but poor choices in one’s preferred media had suddenly avalanched down to the bottom of Alex’s list of ‘Things to talk about for Coffee Tuesday’ and ‘Mental and Physical Welfare Check-ups’ had started to climb the ranks.
Morgan’s face twisted up as they shook their head, ash and dust showering the table and their shoulders. “That means you didn’t like it. Was it the puppets? Because that part does turn a lot of people away, but if you get over that scene it’s got a really cool plot!”
“Uh huh…” Alex agreed, still debating whether taking off the sunglasses now would be considered a complete forfeit.
“Um, Hun, are you okay? I can call an ambulance?”
Morgan looked up to see the same waitress from earlier, but Alex was still looking at Morgan.
If he had to guess, her face was probably pretty hilarious from how Morgan quickly glanced away.
“I-I’m fine! Just- ah, it’s nothing. Can I have an un-sweet iced tea?”
“Do you…” She sighed, “Do you want a lemon with that?”
Morgan smiled brightly, “Yes, please!”
The waitress walked away.
Morgan sure was sweating a lot…
Alex picked up his mug, taking a small sip to consider his approach to their single forbidden topic of the next hour or two.
He started small. “It’s a bit weird to order an iced tea today.” He said over his mug. “Since the weather isn’t too hot yet...”
Morgan shrugged, “What can I say? I like cold things year-round.” They leaned forward in their seat and pulled the mug from Alex’s face to look inside.
Alex let them. Curious of what they were trying to do. Read the non-exsistent foam to tell his future?
Morgan rolled their eyes and released him.
“You’re one to talk, Mr.Black Coffee. Dark and Bitter like my Tortured Soul.” They sigh dramatically against their seat.
“Hilarious.”
Morgan chuckled, “I know I am.”
They looked relaxed. There were very few times Alex had ever seen Morgan in distress. Mentally, that is; They were physically assaulted on the daily for the nature of their careers. But nothing ever seemed to get under their skin. Mean spirited jibes from particularly nasty heroes and the occasional date-gone-horribly-wrong scenarios would roll off of them smoother than a marble on a satin tablecloth.
Even in their disheveled state, their smile was genuine.
“Want to tell me what happened ?” He asked, but it wasn’t a question.
Their smile appeared less genuine.
“Just work stuff- Which we’re not supposed to talk about, remember?” They laughed nervously, running a hand through their hair. “Come on, let’s change the subject; Did you ever give the crochet set a try? I know how much you like tactile hobbies.”
Morgan was fighting a losing battle and they both knew it. Their eyes would shift to the briefcase seated next to them and then back to Alex. They looked more nervous the longer they stayed seated, like they were uncomfortable next to the thing. Like it was fragile.
Or dangerous .
It’d only take one adjustment of his special shades and he would know the answer, but Alex thought it was more fun to watch his friend squirm.
The waitress walked up to their table. She set Morgan’s tea down with a small plate of lemons and Morgan frowned at it but it quickly vanished.
“Alright,” She flipped open her notepad and grabbed the pencil tucked behind her ear. “Anything else for you two today? We have a special going on for the blueberry scones. Buy three, get two more for free.”
Alex didn’t really care for sweets, he barely cared for food in general. Only eating things for flavor or pleasure since he gained no nutritional value from it. He’d only started learning he actually liked certain foods when Morgan had forced him to try pizza for the first time all those years ago. His palate was a bit more refined, ‘ picky ’ was what Morgan called it, so he only tried things either he’d never had or things he knew he would enjoy. Cakes, candies, and other sugary monstrosities never seemed to make the cut.
Morgan had a sweet tooth though and never skipped an opportunity to remind Alex of that fact. Acting as if Alex had chosen the kind of life that was worth their sympathy for never truly understanding the wonder of an indulgent treat.
He wasn’t bitter about it.
Still, he braced himself. Even if he wasn’t going to order anything, it was his turn to pay. He could only hope his friend would have mercy on his wallet and only order half the menu instead of the entire stock.
“Just the tea for me today, thanks.” Morgan said. They took an appreciative sip of their drink, nearly draining a third of it in one go.
So that’s how it was going to be?
Fine. He was used to fighting fire with fire.
“Really?” Alex asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose and raising a brow. “You don’t want to eat anything ?”
This is your last chance to back out.
Morgan strained an odd smile, “I had a big lunch…”
Liar.
But that just made it more fun. Because if Morgan had a silver tongue with a sweet tooth, then Alex had golden eyes behind obsidian shades.
“Well I am starving .” He proclaimed loudly, startling Morgan and stopping the waitress from closing her notepad. “I’ll get the blueberry scone special, a toasted egg sandwich- no tomato, a chocolate muffin, a croissant, and a strawberry cakepop.” He read off what he remembered reading on the menu when he first arrived. “Oh, and a refill when you get the chance.”
The waitress smiled, “Of course hun, we’ll have it out in a moment.” and she walked away.
Morgan looked more fitting in a cartoon from their overly expressive, but weirdly natural-looking, face of utter shock.
Alex hid his smug smile behind another sip of coffee.
“Wha- Dude?!” They floundered, vaguely annoyed. “ Why ?”
He feigned innocence, “What’s wrong?”
“Are you serious? You’re not going to eat all of that!”
“And why not?”
“Because!” They sputtered, metaphorically grasping at straws to explain Alex’s odd behavior.
“Maybe I’m feeling adventurous today?”
“Adventur- Do you even hear yourself right now?! You sound crazy! Where’s the real Alex?”
“Talking to a wall, apparently.” Alex sighed, “Is it really that unusual?”
“Yes!” They shrieked.
“I take offense to how quickly you answered that.”
They looked like they were about to respond again but bit their lip, eyes darting back down to that damn briefcase and then back to Alex again.
Alex brought the mug to his lips and sipped his drink at a leisurely pace, slow and unhurried.
Morgan's eye twitched.
The waitress was still working on Alex’s order and he was almost out of coffee…
“I know what you’re doing.” Morgan said, crossing their arms and leaning back into their seat.
“Good. Maybe after I order seconds you’ll tell me why it looks like you were hit with a building. Believe me, I’d know what that looks like.”
Morgan groaned, “It’s work stuff! It’s against the rules-!”
“And what about the case?” Alex interrupted.
Something died in Morgan's eyes, or in their tea, since they basically shriveled up and hunched in on themselves.
“That’s… Erm…” They struggled to explain.
Not that they needed to. Even without the glasses, Alex could figure out what was going on. The case was, despite its holder's appearance, in pristine condition. Only the smallest dent in the corner, understandably shaped like a rock, stood out against the clean metallic shimmer. It had a lock at the top, one of those fancy ones where you had to roll it to the correct letter, and it looked like a very solid object…
“Is it a bomb?” He asked.
Most of the occupants' focus had returned to their own tables after Morgan’s spectacle of an entrance, but Alex knew some people had definitely heard him and he was 80% sure the lady choking on a bite of her bagel had been about to scream.
“Shhhh!” Morgan shushed him loudly, “You can’t just say shit like that, man! People don’t like the B-word!”
“Bitch?”
“You know what I’m talking about!” Morgan hissed.
Alex made a frustrated sound and put the mug back on the table. “Well is it a bomb or not?! I think it’s a little rude not to not let your friend know if they're in danger .”
“You’ve survived a missle strike! Your skin is impervious to most man-made catastrophe!”
“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt!”
“You said it was comparable to a fucking papercut .” Morgan huffed, “This is supposed to be relaxing- Can we just ignore the briefcase?”
“I can literally hear it ticking.”
“Wh-! I-!” They stuttered, any explanation or excuse failing to make it past their lips.
Alex just raised his brow. The brow said it all.
“It’s work , Alex!” They insisted.
“Yes, work that you brought to our weekly coffee outing.” He said and Morgan looked guilty. He continued, “Just tell me what’s going on. If you don't, I'm taking the glasses off and finding out for myself.”
Morgan groaned and dropped their head to the table.
Alex pushed Morgan’s iced tea out of the way so they wouldn’t accidentally spill it on the way back up. He pat their dusted hair. “Hey, I’m not mad… I just want to help. You looked a little nervous when you came in and I never see you like that. What- Is the case a superweapon? The end all be all of worlds or whatever? Because I know you know I can take care of that.”
Morgan raised their head slightly, still on the table but able to maintain eye contact, but didn’t move enough to dislodge Alex’s hand.
Morgan sighed. “I wasn’t nervous because of what was in the case… I was scared because I broke our agreement. We promised eachother these outings were for fun and- and I just- there was a time constraint on one of my schemes and I made this dumb mistake too-”
They sighed again. They raised themselves up from the table and they looked down into their lap, like they were about to be scolded. Maybe that’s what they thought was going to happen.
“-but you’re trying so hard to make these special for us and I totally blew it with my terrible time management skills. I should have known by now that dealing with Dr.Dispatch always ends with a billion other heroes coming to help him- It’s literally in his name -”
Alex startled, “Wait- The guy who crashed the villain banquet last year?”
Morgan paused their rambling. “…Yeah?”
“He stole my toaster last week!” He shouted, their dishes, the dishes of fellow patrons, musically clinking with his annoyance. He took in a measured breath and sighed. “He’s such a dick . Who steals another man's toaster? It’s unlawful.”
“Wait.” Morgan said, “You’re not mad?”
“Oh, I’m pissed but not at you.”
Heroes had always been an annoyance to Alex. Some were fun: immortal life-defying impossible time-sequenced battles that made other’s question their very existence and gave him the satisfaction to keep searching for a new nemesis. Others were less fun… More boring. And sad. Like the thing with that cloned-successor- whatever from last week, that was a trip and a half to deal with.
But none of them compared to the evil of Dr.Dispatch, because he was annoying in a completely new way. Like most heroes that gave Alex trouble, he was effectively, and unfortunately, immortal. Not fully immortal like him, but close. Alex never bothered finding out the limits when they first met but now he was regretting that decision. The fucker wouldn’t just fight him like a normal hero, though. He didn’t have that kind of power, anyway, but he had figured out how to slow Alex down .
The hero managed to find his apartment, break into it like he had any right of doing so, hid pieces of his villain costume, and, most recently, had taken it upon himself to remove kitchen appliances from his living space.
He was like a fucking cockroach, Alex just couldn’t get rid of him!
And now he was messing with Morgan too?
What a menace.
Alex stood up and exited the booth. He’d be doing everyone a favor by getting rid of that jerk once and for all. He took off his sunglasses, the familiar weight of a thousand minds and a billion emotions crashing and settling into him. Power that the glasses swallowed returned to his veins and seeped into his skin. He sighed and held his hand out to Morgan. “Come on. Let’s give that bastard a taste of his own medicine.”
Morgan took his hand.
“What about Coffee Tuesday?” They asked sadly.
Alex shrugged, “We’ll try again next week. In the meantime…” He snapped his fingers, a paper bag filled with hot pastries and breakfast sandwiches appearing in his palm. “We can just settle for a Coffee Walk or something on the way to my lair.”
Alex could just deal with it himself, but, if the misty eyes from Morgan were any indication, they’d want to get their own licks in too.
Morgan sniffled and covered it with a cough, wiping their face. “You’re a good friend, Alex.”
“Whatever.” Alex let go of their hand to point behind them, “Don’t forget the bomb.”
“Oh, shit, you’re right!”
They both walked through the shop casually, dodging the screaming and running patrons.
“How long until that thing goes off, anyway?”
“I don’t know… Five minutes, I think?”
“ ‘I think’ they say, talking about a fucking bomb .”
“Don’t be an ass- You can stop it, can’t you?”
Alex scoffed, “What can’t I do?”
He opened the door for them without touching it and they left the completely ordinary coffee shop with their overly-indulgent sweets and a ticking briefcase.