Chapter Text
The Gusu Lan Sect is known for their strict adherence for their many rules. It was a known fact that their rules were established to help them with their cultivation. That their rules were made to strengthen their golden cores by following the path set for them by their sect’s rules. To uphold righteousness and to always stand with justice. However, other than their rules, the Gusu Lan Sect was also known for something else, their forehead ribbon. Wearing a forehead ribbon is a custom, and must always be worn to represent their disciples’ restraint. A Lan’s forehead ribbon is a sacred item and only the wearer’s family members and one’s own-fated person are allowed to touch it.
That is why a lot of people had wondered, what happened to Hanguang-jun?
Hanguang-jun, The Second Jade of Lan, Lan Wangji, is a prominent cultivator who became famous for always arriving where the chaos is. He had traveled far to help villages that were too poor to pay sect cultivators, he always helped those in need, no matter how big or small the problem is. He is the best example of a virtuous cultivator, the perfect Lan disciple. The common people held a big respect for their illustrious Hanguang-jun. However, it will always be a question to many, why does Hangung-jun never wore his forehead ribbon? No matter how well respected a person is, gossip will always find faults in everybody.
It had been a mess when a young Lan Wangji lost his forehead ribbon, well, that’s the only explanation Grandmaster Lan gave to their sect’s elders. The lost forehead ribbon incident only spread outside the walls of Cloud Recesses when a fifteen-year-old Lan Wangji was introduced to the public, and Grandmaster Lan gave the crowd, the other sects of the same explanation he gave to the Lan Elders. It became a scandal. The Gusu Lan Sect became the topic of gossips for weeks. Many stories and theories spread from person to person about the truth behind the lost forehead ribbon.
Some people said that the Second Jade of Lan did it to honor the name of his mother who was kept secret and was never shown to the public. Some said that Lan Wangji did an unforgivable crime that took his right as a Lan disciple to wear his forehead ribbon. There are also people that said Hangung-jun did not feel deserving to wear something as significant and was determined to prove himself to his sect before finally earning his forehead ribbon as a token of his achievements.
So many speculations but in reality, a young Lan Zhan just fell in love.
Rules, forehead ribbon, and love. The Gusu Lan Sect was known for these three things. When Lan An, founder of Gusu Lan, met his fated person in Gusu, they built the Cloud Recesses together. A Lan only ever loved once, and when little Lan Zhan fell in love with a kid he met in Yiling, he did not want to let go.
Lan Qiren, Lan Huan and little Lan Zhan went in Yiling to search for their uncle’s friends who, Sect Leader Jiang reported, had been missing for over a year. Little Lan Zhan knew his uncle did not have those he considered his friends, but for him to search for these missing people personally, he immediately knew that they are important to his uncle. That is why he insisted with coming even though he was aware he would not be much of help.
They were meant to stay in Yiling for two weeks, and Lan Zhan thought that his uncle and older brother would bring him in their search for uncle’s friends, but they just left without him, leaving him in an inn after saying words such as, be good, we’ll be back immediately, even though they were gone even after the sun set, stay here, outside might be dangerous, and, I will give you something once we come back, from his brother. Lan Zhan had always been a filial child, that is why he stayed put even when boredom consumed him. He stayed still for three days until the fourth day, he decided to follow his uncle and brother.
Only that it led him to his current predicament, lost. Yiling was bustling in energy. The busy streets were filled with vendors shouting the quality of their products and many people busy with their own lives. Lan Zhan had no one to ask for help, he turned left and right, stepped forward and backward just to see a glimpse of his brother and uncle. His heart was thrumming fast in his chest. His eyes moist with unshed tears. His body cold from the snow covering the grounds in Yiling due to winter. The only thing keeping him calm was the rattle drum his brother gave him last night.
Little Lan Zhan sniffed, trying to recite the excessive emotion is prohibited even when he had broken several rules by defying his elder’s words. He started walking again while playing using his rattle drum, trying to stop the hiccups from escaping his mouth. Just then, he heard a small voice.
“A-Die, A-Niang, and, A-Ying!” He turned to look at the alley where the voice came from, it was a boy, probably the same age as him, playing with the three little figures on the ground. The kid was only wearing a thin cloth that would not be enough to stop the cold. He had bruises on his legs and arms but still smiling despite his unfortunate situation.
He had stopped playing with his rattle drum, watching the boy with wonder, but it was at that moment that the kid turned his bright silver eyes on him, giving him an even brighter smile that made his heart thrum, not from fear or nervousness from thinking of being scolded for what he did, but a thrum of his heart that happens to people when they see something, or someone they like.
Little Lan Zhan stepped forward, towards the boy with a smile that could rival the sun. He walked forward until he was near the boy, the boy was only looking at him with those curious eyes of his. Lan Zhan stretched the hand holding the rattle drum towards the boy. The boy, in return, only responded with a question in his eyes.
“Yours.”
Still confused, the boy answered, “You’re so kind! But the rattle drum is not mind.” He shook his head a little.
“No.”
“No?”
What is he supposed to say? His brother will immediately know what he wants by just looking at his face, even though he does not show much emotion. To Lan Huan, Lan Zhan is like an open book. But this boy is not his elder brother, and for them to understand each other, they have to communicate, using words!
“No. I give you.” Was all he could say. Instead of the boy’s smile, he plastered a shock face instead, like receiving something from someone shook him to the core. Lan Zhan tilts his head, bringing the rattle drum closer to the boy.
“Oh, thank you! It’s not every day people are kind to me!”
Why? Lan Zhan is confused. The boy obviously lived in this alley, are you alone? He wanted to ask, but uncle said it’s rude to ask someone about a sensitive topic especially if you have just met each other. Are people being rude to you? Are you lonely? Do you want to come back to Gusu with me?
“My name is A-Ying, by the way! What’s yours?”
“Mn, A-Ying. Lan Zhan.”
“Oh! Your name is Lan Zhan? What a pretty name!” Lan Zhan does not blush! Even when his brother teased him for keeping a rabbit in his room and no one knew until his brother found a lump on his bed, not when said rabbit died because he did not take care of it because he did not know how and he cried all night in his brother’s robes, not when he lied about losing his homework even though lying is forbidden even when he just hid it because he could not finish it within the given time and his brother found it a week later in the wooden box he keeps his toys in and teased him for it. But right now, he can feel the tip of his ears burning, turning his eyes away from embarrassment.
“Mn. A-Ying is pretty, too.” Both the name and the person.
A-Ying finally took the rattle drum, though, not before looking at Lan Zhan just to make sure it would not be taken back and Lan Zhan nodded. Lan Zhan sat beside little A-Ying, just looking at the boy who was looking back and forth toward the three little straw figures and at Lan Zhan.
In the end, A-Ying picked up the smallest one and reached out for Lan Zhan’s hand. “I give this to you, Lan Zhan!” Lan Zhan is sure that by now, it’s not just his ears blushing. The straw figures were obviously A-Ying’s parents and the boy himself, and now, A-Ying is giving Lan Zhan the smallest one!
Lan Zhan gasps, only in his mind though, his face is still emotionless He gave his rattle drum to A-Ying and now A-Ying is giving something in return! Are these courting gifts?! But they just met not even five minutes ago! Uncle would be so mad! But his brother would be supportive! But uncle would scold him! But his brother would try to rationalize his uncle! And if his brother managed to convince his uncle he will have to bring A-Ying to Gusu! Which he does not mind. Living with A-Ying in his home sounds pleasing to little Lan Zhan.
“Lan Zhan! Let’s play!”
“Hm.”
Ever since that day, Lan Zhan kept coming back in Yiling. He never told anyone the reason why, however, he knew his brother knows something, he just never directly questioned Lan Zhan about it. Lan Zhan and A-Ying--Wei Ying’s, relationship blossomed. They grew closer the more they spent their days with each other. He once asked Wei Ying to come back to Gusu with him, and not because of his foolish thought about Wei Ying’s gift as a courting gift, but because he did not want his only friend suffering and living alone. But Wei Ying said no, and Lan Zhan respected that.
Wei Ying tried finding as much jobs as he can at a young age to provide for himself, and Lan Zhan did his best to help his friend. Wei Ying had always showed interest with cultivating whenever Lan Zhan made some small talks about his lessons, that is why Lan Zhan decided to help him form a golden core .
As years passed, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying became cultivators with strong golden cores. Wei Ying never stayed in one place, always traveling to help anyone he can, and Lan Zhan always followed. They traveled together, went on nighthunts together, faced dangerous situations together. They did almost everything with each other. People in Gusu and in Yiling were already used to the two. If they will see the other, the other one will also appear. They were inseparable.
Until Wei Ying left.
Lan Wangji sat along in the Xuanwu Cave. His back leaned on a large rock. Only the fire lit by the few branches he could find inside the cave gave him light and provided his body with heat. The Cloud Recesses, his home, was burned with the lead of Qishan Wen’s heir, his brother missing, his own leg broke, and whether they will manage to rebuild their sect after this remains unknown. With his father being severely injured with a heart that is barely beating, Lan Wangji lost so much in a short amount of time.
He thought back to the days he used to go to Yiling to spend his days there with his friend. He could remember the times he begged his brother to go there with him so he could see the boy again. He could remember the bright smile, the silver eyes, the small efforts of the boy made when he found out what was Lan Zhan’s meaning of ‘fun’.
His uncle said it was a mistake. A decision hastily made with the fear of not being able to see the boy again, giving him his forehead ribbon because he was scared to lose a friend. Even his brother had been disappointed. At some point in his life, Lan Zhan had thought the same. Maybe because of the sadness and void in his heart that remained after losing his mother, maybe because the boy was the first friend he made, maybe because the boy showed him the world outside of his home, a place without rules, or maybe because he just made Lan Zhan genuinely happy. Whatever it was, Lan Wangji thought no reason will be enough to justify his mistakes.
But maybe the song he’s playing on his guqin would justify the impulse decisions he made. Maybe it’s enough that he thinks about him every day, wondering if they would be able to see each other again. Maybe it’s an enough reason that his heart clenches in pain every time he thinks about the day he last saw him. Maybe it’s enough that he’s part of the reason Lan Zhan’s heart continues beating despite the pain.
There, as he sat alone with the few strings left after killing the Xuanwu, Lan Zhan played a familiar song of love.
From ages six up to when he was fifteen, that boy made sure to tie his heart with his. He made sure that no matter how far the distance, his heart was connected to Lan Zhan’s. He made sure that no matter how long they were apart from each other, Lan Zhan's heart would always scream for his name, and only his. And now two years of not seeing him were two years of feeling his heart suffer in sorrow, knowing that the other half of him were too far to reach.