Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

As if Kyle's day couldn't get any worse. His friends have been brainwashed by Victor Chaos, he almost got attacked by a fucking Alexa, and now Eric Cartman is beating the shit out of him. Kyle's vision is a little fuzzy as Cartman's still pudgy fists connect with his face again and again, but he feels like he's seen the desperate look in Cartman's eyes before, this rage that isn't fuelled by greed, or pride, or what the fuck else you want to call it... its rage fuelled, no, concealing fear. Fear over losing something external, outside of himself, something that he can't count in his hands or shove down his gullet. Before Kyle can lift his hands to his face, to block another punch, he hears someone cry out Cartman's name.

"Eric! Eric, stop!"

Yentl.

Cartman rips his gaze away from Kyle and his body softens when he looks at her. Kyle is worried that he's going to collapse on top of him.

"Eric! Look what you're doing."

He and Kyle are both panting, and Kyle's face is throbbing. He's holding Kyle by the collar of his t-shirt with one hand, and Kyle grumbles under his breath when Cartman unceremoniously drops him to the floor. Kyle watches, still catching his breath as Cartman wipes his mouth and tries to collect his own breaths.

"Take the kids and get back to the attic."

Yentl shakes her head, brow creasing.

"No, Eric, I can't just hide away while you do all this to protect us." She sighs, and steps closer. "This isn't you, my love."

Cartman gets to his feet, stepping over Kyle and closing the gap between him and his wife.

"I can't let him change the past," he says around the lump in his throat. "I can't lose you."

Kyle gets to his feet, dusting himself off and joining Stan who is watching all of this with the same perplexity. He's probably wondering the same thing as Kyle... how did the fuck did they end up here? Going back in time is supposed to fix things, and Kyle knows just as well as Stan that this is just as much about a do-over for their less than stellar lives, as it is some noble deed to finish what Kenny started.

"Who knows what will happen, my love?" Yentl asks softly. "The Eric Cartman I've known for eighteen years is thoughtful and kind. But all that's changed ever since you came back to this town and hung out with... him." Yentl spares Kyle a glance, but it isn't one of contempt, just disappointment and... pity. "Don't you see? We have to leave it to chance or we're no better than he is."

"You guys are everything to me," Cartman replies, voice warbling and eyes glittering with tears. "And I'm supposed to be your protector."

"Daddy, I don't wanna be alive..." Cartman's daughter pipes up. "If it means I have to be like Uncle Kyle."

Cartman chokes on his tears then, and a few slide down his cheeks. Kyle doesn't know why that chokes Cartman up so much, or what the hell it's supposed to even mean.

"Oh my god, I love you so much."

"Well, Rabbi, are we doing this or not?" Scott asks, and Kyle has never wanted to tell him to shut up more.

Cartman rubs his mouth, steps away from Yentl and his gaze roams the carpet for answers. He sighs, head lowered, and nods.

"I have faith that God will see my family through this..." his eyes slip shut. "Okay, Kyle. You do whatever it is you need to do."

Kyle feels like all eyes have turned to him, and Cartman's family are looking at him like he's their executioner. He raises his hands.

"Okay, hold on, I'm not the bad guy here..."

Kyle truly believes that he isn't. Of course he isn't. What's that Wrath of Khan quote again? That the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few? Yeah, it sucks that Cartman's family may cease to exist if they go back in time, but the whole world will suffer if they don't. Jesus, he's never felt more sociopathic. Now he knows what it feels like to be Cartman. Well, the old Cartman. Their little group broke up, and Kyle felt fractured with it but Cartman... he didn't just emerge unscathed, but polished, and bright and just better.

In the wider picture, Kyle is a good guy. But to Cartman's family, he's the bad guy and he just has to deal with it... doesn't stop it from hurting any less. Doesn't mean that even though in the grand scheme of things it's not going to matter, Kyle is mourning the loss of this Cartman already. But maybe things will work out? Maybe this path for him isn't predicated one on fight, on their group growing apart, maybe-

"Eric!" Yentl cries. "The baby!"

Kyle looks to the altar to see Cartman's baby somehow dangling off the lever to Kenny's time machine.

"Hackelm, what are you doing?!"

Hackelm chuckles.

"Fuck you, Uncle Kahl!"

After shooting Clyde and blackmailing Heather Williams Kyle, Stan, and Cartman return to the park bench where they came up with their plan to reinstate precedented times. What else could they do? Except wait to disappear.

Stan was the first to go. They hadn't even made it to the bench before he disappeared into the ether, like dandelion fuzz. He had said, "you guys-" and before Kyle could turn around he was gone. Kyle had just stared for a while, and if he squinted he swore he could see Stan's outline in the air. He wishes he had said something. Goodbye, or thank you, or love you, or whatever the hell he was supposed to say. He just hopes Stan has a good life, that he got what he wanted, although honestly Kyle doesn't know what that is. Not to be a high-functioning alcoholic, to not have the most significant relationship in his life be with an Alexa... oh, and for his mom and sister to be alive too.

Right now though, Kyle is wishing he asked if it hurt. Stan's been gone for a good ten minutes and he and Cartman are still here. He doesn't know what it means. He wishes he could ask someone. But it's not as if there's a Time and Space Customer Service line he can call to ask why he hasn't disappeared into the void yet. The thought makes his lungs compress and his heart race, sending him into an existential spiral.

All he knows is that he doesn't want to be the last one to go. He doesn't want to be alone when he vanishes, and he can't handle watching Cartman disappear because his last thoughts will be fretting over whether he actually has ruined Cartman's life completely. He still doesn't believe he's the bad guy... but that belief is wearing thin the longer he's here alone with Cartman, pacing back and forth in front of the bench.

Kyle grumbles, throwing his head up.

"God, what is taking so long?"

"You're in a real hurry to not exist, huh?"

This is the first time Cartman has spoken since Stan disappeared. Honestly, Kyle wasn't expecting him to even answer his question. He's just been sitting on the bench, staring into space with his shoulders slouched.

Kyle huffs, rubs a hand over his face.

"I just want to know that it worked." He takes a seat next to Cartman but doesn't look at him. "Not everybody has a perfect life like you, Cartman," he mutters.

"No, I know that," Cartman snaps. "I was super fucking lucky, Kyle. So I'm glad that I haven't been wiped out by this Thanos-snap bullshit yet."

Kyle winces and eyes him up and down.

"But what do we do until then?"

Cartman sighs, places his hands on his knees.

"Well, I've just been thinking about my family. I've thought about when I first met Yentl... and my wedding day..." his fond smile wavers. "And when our kids were born after trying for so long."

Kyle blinks, shifts uncomfortably.

"Oh" he whispers. "I had no idea..."

"Yeah," Cartman replies with a rueful chuckle. He still doesn't look at Kyle. "We thought it was never going to happen, then Menorah came along. Then we thought 'oh this is it' and not even in a resigned sort of way. Never. It was more like 'oh this is it. This is what it was meant to be. God has blessed us with a beautiful little girl and she's all we'll ever need...' but then Moishe and Hackelm came along! We were so blessed..." he blinks before squeezing his eyes shut. "Are so blessed."

"I'm sure it'll work out, Cartman. Seems like you two were meant for each other in an odd way."

Cartman opens his eyes and chuckles.

"I know you don't believe in all that fate stuff."

Kyle frowns guiltily, gulping.

"But I want to believe in it for you..." he rolls his eyes when he figures he might as well come out and say it. It may not matter in a few minutes anyway. "And for myself. Since we're going to be Thanos-snapped any second now. Maybe I'm so anxious to get it over with because..." he sighs. "I haven't been blessed, and I just want my new life to start already."

Cartman nods.

"I hope it's a good one. I don't like the dark path you have gone down, Kyle, but I never believed you were a bad person." He's actually looking at Kyle now. "Everybody deserves a second chance."

Kyle knows it's true, but it feels like a dagger twisting in his heart. Everybody deserves a second chance. Even Cartman, and Kyle hopes he gets one. His nose stings and his vision becomes blurry.

"You're right." He shakes his head and closes his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Cartman."

"It's alright," he replies, and when Kyle opens his eyes he sees that he has this resigned, peaceful smile on his face which twists the dagger even more. "You did what you had to do." He turns his head and looks out over Main Street, over the mountains even, like his family are hidden away beyond this town and waiting for him. "I have faith, and I know I'll be seeing them again."

Kyle doesn't say anything, doesn't want to cheapen the moment. The least he can do is give Cartman all the time he needs with the memories of his family. He watches a pair of birds flutter out of a tree and circle each other.

"I think it's starting."

"Huh?" Kyle asks, looking over at Cartman. His eyes widen when he sees that Cartman is indeed vanishing. Dandelion fuzz in the wind.

"Am I disappearing?" he asks, strangely serene.

Kyle nods, a huge lump in his throat.

"Cartman, I beg of you, you're nearly fifty years old please don't say anything stupid."

"Mr Stark, I don't feel so good."

Kyle rolls his eyes.

"No!" he cries. "No, I knew you were going to say that, stop! You shouldn't be quoting Marvel when you're-"

"Dying?" Cartman asks.

Kyle squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head.

"Ceasing to exist!"

Over half of his body is wispy fragments that soon disappear altogether, and the rest of him is becoming more and more transparent.

"How is that better? Okay, how about... see you on the other side?"

Kyle snickers, rolling his eyes. He has to take some credit for his stupid remark, Cartman may not have been thinking about saying anything dumb until Kyle planted the idea in his head.

"Yeah, that's... acceptable, I guess." A tear slides down his cheek but he doesn't care. Cartman is almost completely gone now.

"Goodbye, Kyle," he says before vanishing altogether.

"Goodbye, Cartman," Kyle whispers, staring at the now empty spot where his friend once sat.

Kyle forgot to ask Cartman if it hurt, but Kyle doesn't think it did. Cartman looked peaceful and serene the whole time, not in pain at all.

Kyle soon finds out that it, in fact, does not hurt. Everything goes white, like a sheet of snow on a car windscreen. Then there are no more thoughts, no more feelings, no more regrets, or pain, just... nothing.

December 22nd 2059

Having an argument with your brother over the phone may be the lowlight of someone's Christmas Party, but for Kyle's it's... if not a highlight, then a good excuse  to not mingle at South Park Elementary Plus's annual Christmas Party. His classmates can just chat amongst themselves about their fulfilling careers, and their kids, and the vacations they went on this year, and Kyle can deflect that conversation by pressing his phone to his ear. Anybody who approaches him raises an apologetic hand when they see he's on his phone, walking away with the understanding that Kyle is in the middle of something.

" Kyle, I'm really sorry, buddy, but I don't know what you want me to say, guy!"

"I want you to make more of an effort to come visit our aging parents before they die, Ike!"

Kyle isn't expecting Ike to visit every year, because the air fare would add up, but he really can do better than these sparse visits, considering how much money he makes from his software company.

" That's so unfair! Don't you think I'm trying, fwend? But I have a life here, and a business, and sometimes things come up that are beyond my control!"

Kyle sighs, wrapping one arm around himself and tucking his hand into his armpit.

"It's just that I'm the middle man for mom and dad's guilt tripping of you and believe me, I got enough of that when I lived in Denver. Fucking Denver, Ike! Same state!"

" Eh, relax, guy!"

Kyle's jaw pulls tight. He hates it whenever Ike says that.

"Don't 'relax, guy' me, Ike!"

Ike sighs.

" I'm sorry you have to deal with all that, okay? You're right, it isn't fair. I promise I'll call the folks and give them a solid hour of guilt tripping. That's my penance, alright?"

Kyle sighs too, through his nose. His eyes slip shut and he nods before he remembers Ike can't see him.

"Alright... alright, whatever." His voice is softer now, subdued by guilt. "I don't mean to make you feel bad either-"

" I know. It's not a good look."

Kyle snickers, before rubbing his mouth and taking a furtive glance at the other party-goers, people he grew up with who just seem so much happier than he is, who have the things he wants, but that he can't reach from the rut he's stuck in. Sometimes he wonders if he was happier in Denver, when he had an apartment, and an office, and he was actually dating. It's been so long since he's dated that he's forgotten how to do it, the Kyle who used to do it seems so alien to him now. He supposes that saying is right, about the past being a foreign country. He did things so differently there.

"I'm just frustrated... like another year has gone by and I'm alone at this fucking Christmas party again and I just..." his voice strains so much with frustration that his throat starts to hurt. He sighs to relieve the ache. "I miss you."

That's true. Besides from the fact Kyle is out of excuses to give to his parents about why Ike isn't showing up again, he actually just misses his little brother a lot.

" I miss you too, guy, and I could make more of an effort and I will. It's my new year's resolution."

Kyle hums, a small, rueful chuckle.

"I appreciate it, and I appreciate you have a lot on your plate." Kyle smiles. "I'm so proud of you."

" Have you been drinking?"

Kyle huffs, the moment ruined completely.

"No!" Kyle glances guiltily at the empty wine glass next to him. "Yes, but I'm not drunk... I'm nowhere near drunk enough yet." Out of the corner of his eye he can see one of the few people he actually wants to talk to, arrive. "Shit, Stan just walked in, I have to go. I'll speak to you soon."

" Yeah, I'll call you on Canadian Boxing Day."

Kyle nods.

"Speak to you then. Bye..."

Kyle hangs up, tucking his phone in his pocket and catching Stan's eye. Stan grins when he spots him, waving.

"Kyle!"

Stan's grin is infectious, and Kyle's shoulders fall before he crosses the room to meet him.

"Hey..." Kyle says, before they fall into an easy hug. "How you doing, man?"

Stan nods. He's a little dark under his eyes, but that would be the jet-lag, or, uh, rocket-lag.

"Good, good..."

"When did you get in?"

"Two days ago. This is my first time out of the house since then. It still takes me a while to get acclimated to the atmosphere," he replies with a small chuckle.

Kyle chuckles too before giving Stan a playful nudge.

"Well, when you find your Earth legs again we'll have to go out for a drink."

Stan's eyes brighten.

"Definitely, I mean, I'll have to check with Wendy..."

Kyle nods preemptively, to ward off the discomfort.

"Oh yeah, it's cool. Your plans don't revolve around me," Kyle replies, hoping he doesn't sound bitter that Stan's plans revolve around getting laid instead, but he and Wendy have a really good thing going, and they care about each other a lot. At least someone is getting laid, after all...

"Anyway, how have you been?" Stan asks. "Still doing the counseling?"

Kyle nods, averting his gaze from Stan's face.

"Yeah, it's good."

That's partially true. Kyle loves being able to help people and work through their problems, it's just that when he moved back to South Park to take care of his parents, he took a job with a remote counseling service because working from home meant more flexibility with his caring responsibilities. But now his parents are at Shady Acres , and Kyle is alone in his childhood home without a reprieve from that.

"Still looking for a new place?"

Kyle sighs.

"Trying to. Just with the care home fees, and how insane house prices are, saving up for a deposit is tough."

Stan nods, before raising his eyebrows.

"You wouldn't wanna rent? I mean, at your age..." his eyes widen and he shakes his head, clearing his throat. "Shit, that sounded awful. I didn't mean-"

"No, it's okay," Kyle cuts in, flat.

Stan does have a point. At Kyle's age, he would be paying off a thirty year mortgage into his 80s. But the average life expectancy for a man in the US has just risen to 105, so he would have a good twenty years of living mortgage free.

"What the hell do I know about mortgages and houses, right?" Stan asks with a shaky chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "My employer subsidises my housing situation."

Right on cue, Kenny arrives, arms outstretched and singing what has now become Stan's theme song.

" Saiiiilors fighting in the dance hall! Oh maaaan, look at those cavemen go!"

Stan arches an eyebrow at Kyle, smiling good-naturedly.

"Any idea when this is gonna get old?"

Kyle shakes his head.

"Best to just let him have it."

"It's the freakiest shoh-oh-ow!" Kenny sings, eyes closed, and the extra weight he's carrying has done nothing to diminish the power of his pretty impressive pipes. " Take a look at the laaaawman beating up the wrong guy! Oh maaaan, wonder if he'll ever know? He's in the best selling shoh-oh-ow! Is there life on Maaaaaars?" he takes a deep breath when he's finished, opening his eyes and grinning. " Stan. How have you been, man?" he asks, pulling him in for a hug.

Stan snickers, returning the hug.

"Really good. You?"

"Oh yeah, never been better." Kenny then turns to Kyle, pulling him in for a one-armed hug. "How about you, Kyle?"

"Oh yeah, fine, I guess."

Kenny beams at him in response, hand splayed on the crown of his head and giving him a shake. But his smile soon fades and he gulps softly, rubbing his palms on his cargo shorts.

"By the way, I ran into Cartman in the parking lot."

Kyle lowers his gaze and tries to take the subtlest bracing breath he can. He almost forgot they were coming... well, he successfully worked himself up into a pleasant denial that they wouldn't show up. They haven't long moved to Denver from New York, they have kids, it's the holidays... although Hanukkah finished over a week ago.

Stan blinks.

"You did?"

"Yeah, he and Yentl were collapsing Hackelm's stroller."

Kyle looks back up then, frowning at the unfamiliar name.

"Shit, they had another kid?"

And called him Hackelm?

Kenny furrows his eyebrows, eyes ping-ponging between Kyle and Stan.

"Yeah?"

"Dude, aren't you friends with him on Facebook Meta Super Plus?"

Kyle folds his arms and lifts his chin, trying to be casual and acting like unfriending Cartman was not a spiteful move. Which it wasn't!

"No, I unfriended him when their second kid started kindergarten."

Kenny snickers, arching an eyebrow at Kyle.

"Damn, Moishe's like eight now, dude."

Stan shakes his head.

"I can't believe you're the only one who's met his family, Kenny."

Kenny scoffs.

"Really? I can believe it. You've gone all Rocketman..." his face falls and he strokes his beard contemplatively. "Shit, maybe it is time to retire Life on Mars ... and Kyle is clearly refusing to acknowledge their existence." Kenny smiles at Kyle like it's meant to be a joke, but Kyle doesn't find it funny.

"I'm not refusing to acknowledge their existence!" Kyle snaps. "It's just that... I still think this Judaism thing is all an act, and then he doesn't invite us to the wedding?" he scoffs. "Seems a bit suspicious to me."

Stan winces.

"That was fifteen years ago, dude."

"And he's been a Jew for a lot longer. You really think he would go through all this just to mess with you?"

Kyle's eyebrows shoot up and he scoffs indignantly again. Have they all forgotten what Cartman is like?

"Yes, I do! And even if it is all for real, aren't you guys a little pissed that you weren't invited to the wedding?"

Kenny looks at Stan sheepishly and Kyle's stomach plummets. Stan and Kenny are the only people he doesn't feel massively insecure around at this party and if he loses that then he may as well go home.

"What? Don't tell me you guys actually were invited?" he pleads.

Stan raises his hands.

"I swear, I wasn't!"

Kenny winces.

"I was?"

Kyle's eyes almost pop out of his head.

"What?!"

Kenny frowns, like Kyle doesn't have a right to be mad at him for keeping this secret for fifteen years.

"Yeah, he invited me!"

Kyle huffs, his face growing hot when he looks at Stan, expecting them to be jointly furious but instead Stan just looks helpless and uncomfortable.

"What the hell, why did he invite you and not us?"

"Maybe because of this!" Kenny replies, pulling out that dumb BFF necklace from his shirt. "Plus..." he sighs like he's about to break bad news. "I don't know, dude, he's really trying to be a better person-"

"So what?" Kyle snaps, folding his arms tightly again. "That just means cutting himself off from all his friends? Pretending like we don't exist? That's fucking easy! Being a changed person and having to face the people you fucked over, that's hard."

Stan and Kenny look between each other, before Stan leans in close to Kyle.

"Dude, have you been drinking?"

"Why do people keep asking me... no! I haven't!"

Kenny raises his hands in an attempt to cool the situation.

"Listen, Kyle, I get why you're upset but... he's moved back here, hasn't he? Maybe he's seeing this as an opportunity to rebuild some bridges?"

Kyle huffs.

"Yeah, right," he mutters.

"Guys, they just walked in," Stan hisses, before turning his head towards the door and waving. "Hey, Cartman!"

Kyle's throat has tightened uncomfortably and his heart is pounding in his ears when he drags his gaze to the door, to see Cartman and the family he has only ever seen on social media standing by the entrance. It's disorienting, like seeing movie stars in real life. But Kyle isn't starstruck, more like... reality struck, and it's a sinking feeling.

"Hey, guys!" Cartman waves back.

Kyle can take some comfort in the fact that Cartman doesn't exactly look like a movie star. He's overweight, and greying, and wearing glasses that don't suit his face shape at all. Then again, what did Kyle expect him to look like? Maybe he would look a lot better if he stayed on the same path he originally intended to carve out while in New York, that of the Wall Street bro. Maybe he would be buff, and glamorous, only slightly ravaged by the effects of cocaine and pills, but nothing that plastic surgery couldn't fix. Or maybe he wouldn't even be here. Maybe he would be spending Christmas in the tropics on a super yacht with some 20 year old blonde, like Jordan Belfort would... or like Leonardo DiCaprio in real life would. Or maybe he would be in prison for some dodgy dealings. But no, apparently he realised he was going down a dark path and instead of checking into rehab, or getting a therapist, or even turning to the church, he turned to the Torah instead. Conversion, and Yentl, and becoming a rabbi soon followed. But taking care of his soul apparently doesn't mean watching what he eats and exercising, but why should he care what he looks like when he has a wife who would love him no matter what he looked like? Kyle rolls his eyes to himself at the cloying though admittedly enviable notion.

"Uncle Kenny!" Moishe exclaims, and he and Cartman's oldest - Menorah - run over to Kenny, who is the very definition of a fun uncle.

"Hey, you two!" he laughs, as they wrap their arms around his middle and give him a squeeze. He gives Cartman's wife a gentlemanly nod. "Yentl. Looking as stunning as always."

Kyle tries to not stare too hard at Yentl. She hasn't changed a whole lot since Kyle unfriended Cartman, she just has a couple more wrinkles around the corners of her eyes, probably from the years spent laughing at Cartman's 'hilarious' jokes. She laughs at Kenny now, good-naturedly like this is a game they've been playing for years.

"So lovely to see you, Kenny..." she gasps, eyes brightening when she notices Cartman's other friends. She claps. "And you two must be Stan and Kyle! I've heard so much about you!"

Kyle blinks.

"Really?"

She laughs again, like she's also known Kyle for years.

"Of course!" She gives Cartman's shoulder a small nudge. "Eric, introductions!"

Everyone's attention turns to Cartman, and Kyle's eyebrows furrow at how preoccupied Cartman seems. He seems to notice Kyle scrutinising him, but quickly tears his gaze away.

"Right, right, sorry, honey..." he chuckles, before clearing his throat. "Stan and Kyle, this is my wife, Yentl. Yentl, these are my good friends, Stan and Kyle."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Stan smiles, shaking Yentl's hand.

"Likewise," Kyle says a little stiffly when it's his turn to shake Yentl's hand. She doesn't seem deterred, grinning at him.

Kyle can see why Cartman is attracted to her. She has a warmth to her that's hard to ignore, and Kyle gets why Cartman was drawn to her during a dark period in his life.

"Oh, it's lovely to meet you too! I can finally put faces to the names of all the stories Eric has told me!"

Kyle gives the friendliest smile he can muster when his jaw is pulled so tight. He feels a pair of eyes on him, thinking they might belong to Stan or Kenny, glaring at him for not being more genial, but then he sees they're in fact Cartman's eyes, boring into him. Preoccupied once more, but also expectant, waiting for Kyle to say something. But what is he supposed to say? He opens his mouth to ask, but then Cartman blinks and tears his gaze away.

"Oh, and let me properly introduce you to the children. Menorah, Moishe, this is your Uncle Stan and Uncle Kyle."

They eye Stan and Kyle warily, with that typical shyness that is instilled into children to have around strangers.

"Nice to meet you guys." Stan nods with a warm smile.

"Yeah, it's great to meet you..." Kyle adds, distracted.

A tiny part of him has wondered for years whether Cartman's family - along with his Judaism - is all a stunt. But while Menorah has the same hazel eyes and thick, curly hair as her mom, Moishe is all Cartman, from his amber eyes to his round, chubby face. They haven't said anything since Stan and Kyle made their introductions, and Kyle thinks his staring at them probably isn't helping. He blinks, shaking his head and averting his gaze.

"What do you say?" Cartman asks his kids, raising an eyebrow at them.

"Nice to meet you..." they murmur in well-mannered unison.

"And who's this little guy?" Stan asks, crouching down to peer at the rosy-cheeked baby in his stroller.

"Oh, this is Hackelm!" Cartman puffs out his chest. "He'll be one in March."

Yentl makes a small, simpering sound of protest, her hands on her chest.

"Don't they grow up so fast?"

Stan makes Hackelm giggle for a little bit, before he stands up straight and claps Cartman's shoulder.

"It's really good to see you, Cartman."

Cartman nods, beaming too.

"You too, Stan." He looks at Moishe and Menorah. "You know, kids, your uncle Stan lives on Mars!"

They both gasp, all shyness evaporating and instead replaced with curiosity.

"You do?" Moishe asks.

"What are the Bezosians like?" Menorah adds.

"Does Mars have sweet wi-fi?"

Yentl chuckles, and runs a hand through her dark, curly mane.

"Children, I'm sure Uncle Stan has only just come home, so don't overload him with questions."

Stan shakes his head and waves her off.

"Oh, it's no problem." He smiles at the kids. "Shall we grab some snacks and I can tell you all about Mars?"

"Yeah!" Moishe exclaims.

"Alright, come on..." Stan chuckles, and they follow him over to the snack table.

Kyle smiles behind them, thinking how great of a dad Stan would be and hoping he has the chance. If Mars is a good place to raise kids, that is... great, now he's going to have Rocketman stuck in his head.

"Kyle."

He's pulled out of his thoughts by Cartman's voice. He blinks, turns to look at his smiling face, only the tiniest bit uncomfortable.

"Nice to see you."

This is the first time they've talked since Cartman arrived. The first time they've talked in years. Kyle notices Cartman is holding out his hand for him to shake. He inhales through his nose.

"Yeah, nice to see you too, Cartman." He smiles, shaking his hand. Maybe he can do this.

Cartman smiles tighter, before he fidgets a little.

"Eric..."

Kyle blinks.

"Huh?"

"It's Eric now."

"Oh..." Kyle nods, before squeezing his eyes shut. "Oh, right, of course." He realises they're still shaking hands and lets Cartman go. Both their hands are sweaty, but Kyle resists the urge to wipe his hand on his pants. "It's just that you didn't correct Stan-"

"Yeah, I know it's something you guys will have to go get used to so I don't want to bust your balls too hard on this, but..." he glances at Yentl for support, like this is something they've discussed. He turns back to Kyle and nods, smiling. "I really would appreciate it if you could address me as Eric."

Kyle's jaw pulls tight. That's another thing he has to resist the urge to do. Roll his eyes.

"Sure thing..."

Cartman raises his eyebrows, and lowers his chin, smirking.

"Eric..."

Kyle nods again, and his expression doesn't waver.

"Right. I heard you."

Cartman... Eric... doesn't say anything, just eyes Kyle up and down and smiles at him like you would when you've just got into an elevator with a stranger and feel the need to acknowledge them. Pleasant, cordial, but Cartman - Eric! Doesn't stop looking at him. Kyle's eyebrows draw together. God damn, has he really missed something? Should he say something?

"So anyways, how are you guys adjusting to the move?" Kenny asks, and Kyle smothers a relieved sigh that he can now turn his attention to him instead.

"We're getting there," Yentl replies. "Still a lot of boxes to unpack!"

Eric nods, beaming at her like he wasn't just staring at Kyle for an uncomfortably long period of time.

"The temple has been so welcoming though, we had some really fun Hanukkah services. It's great for the kids."

"I imagine your temple was the same, Kyle..." Yentl chuckles.

Kyle chuckles too, but shakes his head.

"Oh, I haven't been to temple in years. Much to the disappointment of my mother."

"How is your mother, Kyle?" Eric asks, tilting his head with concern.

Kyle tries not to narrow his eyes too hard at him.

"She's good." He addresses everybody now. "She and my dad are at Shady Acres now. Their caring needs just got too complex."

Eric leans in close to Yentl.

"Kyle had to move back home to take care of his parents."

Yentl tilts her head at Kyle now, and her shoulders droop.

"Oh, that is very good of you, Kyle. I imagine that required a lot of sacrifice."

Kyle smiles tightly at her but shrugs.

"Not really. They're my parents, you know, I love them."

Eric nods, sighing.

"Still a hard decision. It breaks my heart that the kids never met my mom, but I would've hated to make that decision for her." He gives Yentl's arm a squeeze. "You would love Mrs Broflovski though, Yentl, she taught me all about Passover when we were..." he turns to Kyle, eyebrows furrowed. "How old would we have been, Kyle?"

"Ten."

"How adorable!" Yentl gasps. "So Eric had a curiosity for Judaism from a young age then?" she asks, slipping her arm between the crook of his elbow.

Kyle purses his lips together, trying so hard not to snort.

"Yeah, something like that..."

He can see Kenny glaring at him out of the corner of his eye, but before Kyle can shoot him his own pointed 'what's-that's-supposed-to-mean?' look, Hackelm starts crying.

Yentl crouches down next to the stroller, choking his flushed, chubby cheek.

"Oh, bubbe, what's wrong?"

"He's probably hungry," Eric replies. "It's about that time." He smiles at Kyle and Kenny. "We'd better go feed our child, so we'll see you guys later."

Kenny nods.

"Yeah, we'll catch up later for sure."

Kyle nods too, forcing a smile.

"Yeah... "

He watches them as they walk away. Eric is pushing the stroller as Yentl searches through a bag full of baby items.

"Well?" Kenny asks.

"What?" Kyle replies absent-mindedly.

"What do you think?"

Kyle furrows his eyebrows, turning his head to Kenny.

"I'm supposed to give feedback? Yeah, she seems nice." He shrugs. "His kids are pleasant."

Kenny smirks, arching an eyebrow.

"And Cartman? Do you still think he's full of shit?"

"Yes..." Kyle rolls his eyes. "No..." he sighs, and rubs a hand over his face. "I don't know." His gaze wanders to him again, to see him petting little Hackelm's head, smiling and chatting to him as Yentl gives him his bottle. "It's a hell of a long game if he is."

Eric looks up, scanning the room and his lips part when his eyes land on Kyle. Kyle can't take any more confusing, inappropriate staring so rips his gaze away, focusing it instead on Kenny.

"Can we get a drink?"

Kenny grins.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Kyle snickers, and Kenny pats him on the back before leading him to the bar.

May 22nd 2060

Eric loved his study back at the apartment in Brooklyn. He loved the smell of the books, the sounds of the street below, and the sound of the children running on the hardwood floors outside the door. But his study at their Denver home has now become a sanctuary. The streets are quieter, the books smell damper, but it's become a refuge from a life that is becoming more and more fragmented each day.

Ever since that Christmas party he can't stop thinking about Kyle. He wishes he talked to him more, but he's so used to blocking Kyle out that it was depressing second nature to just stare at him, steal glances of him, like he's a creature kept behind glass... but what was he going to say to him? Sorry I cut you out of my life? Sorry I didn't invite you to the wedding? Why did you unfriend me on Facebook Meta Super Plus, you fucking asshole? You look amazing? How are you? Every time I think about you it's like my universe is splitting open?

Weirdly, thoughts of Kyle he can handle. He's been dealing with those since he was a kid and it is inconvenient that all these thoughts he's kept on mute in the back of his mind for the past eighteen years are now screaming at him, but it's nothing new. It's the thoughts of Yentl he can't take. The bitter, resentful thoughts of his beautiful, kind, smart, funny, caring wife, the mother of his children, that taint every soft, unassuming smile she gives him, every supportive squeeze of the shoulder, or kiss on the cheek that breaks Eric's heart because he knows it's her way of reaching out to him. He feels the urge to roll his eyes or snap at her and it curdles immediately, leaving a hideous taste in his mouth. Thoughts of Kyle get shoved aside for the thoughts he absolutely cannot handle like You're going to break her and Why do I not want this anymore? and You don't deserve her. The only way he knows how to escape from these thoughts is to retreat into his study, and keep Yentl out of sight, out of mind. There he can bury himself in scripture, the words that resonated with him in his darkest moments, and find meaning and guidance there. If he can live his life by the words of the prophets then he doesn't have to take too much of the fall if he makes the wrong decisions. But he knows deep down that he isn't pious enough to live by such a rigid, moral code. Deep down he is impulsive, and selfish, and  so, so exhausted.

He's pulled out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Eric?" Yentl asks timidly. She always sounds so timid around him now, in a way that is honestly kind of annoying.

Eric rolls his eyes before dragging his hands over his face.

"Ugh..." he groans before shaking his head and giving his cheek a slap, literally slapping himself out of it because he will not be exasperated by her. He swivels in his chair. "Come in, honey!"

The door opens with a reluctant creak, and Yentl slips into the room, holding a bouquet of red roses wrapped in emerald green paper.

"Sorry to disturb you, sweetie, but you had another flower delivery..."

Eric fights the urge to roll his eyes again, this time for a different reason entirely.

"Oh, thank you..."

Eric takes the bouquet from her and notices a little envelope peeking out between the de-thorned stems. Yentl shuffles back, hands clasped in front of her dutifully. He rips the envelope off and reads the small card inside. It's the same message as always.

Can't we just try? Tee hee.

"Who are they from?" Yentl asks with a small wobble in her voice, peering over the roses.

"Oh, just the Goldenblatts again," Eric replies. His palm is sweaty as he crumples up the card and tosses it in the garbage can under his desk. "To say thank you for helping Jason practice his Torah portion."

Eric winces. Seriously, who is going to buy that? You don't buy your rabbi red roses just for helping their son prepare for his Bar Mitzvah.

"Oh... " Yentl nods, forcing a smile. She clears her throat and tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Oh, how kind of them. "

Eric deflates, hating that he's made her look like a fool.

"Could you put them in a vase for me, honey?" he asks, shoving the flowers into her chest and swivelling back around in his chair so she can leave the room and only one of them will get to stew in this discomfort.

"Of course," she replies, before stepping closer. "Are you almost finished with your work?"

Eric sighs.

"No, why?"

"Oh, it's just... I thought you could keep me company while I made dinner?" Eric can hear the smile in her voice, and she rubs his shoulder as she talks in that persuasive tone that once made him melt but now makes him cringe. "We could have some wine, listen to some music."

"Yentl, I have to write the derasha for Shabbat service, okay?" he snaps, shrugging her hands away. "I don't have time."

That's true. Just because he's in his study a lot doesn't mean he isn't procrastinating. He has a lot on his mind!

"Well, can't you finish it after dinner?"

Eric sighs again.

"No, I cannot, honey..." he murmurs, and starts typing again, hoping that can be a signal to her that he wants to be left alone.

But she's still there. Eric can feel her lost, confused gaze boring into the back of his head. She takes a deep breath.

"Eric, is everything alright? Is there something you want to talk about?"

Eric's eyes widen and it's like his paranoia has just jump-started his heart, pounding fast inside his chest.

"No! No need to talk, I'm super happy!"

"Okay..." Yentl replies, unconvinced. "I'll leave you to your work. Dinner will be ready soon."

She's not too burned to reach over and give Eric one of those imploring kisses on his cheek. She pats his shoulder and before she can pull away he reaches up to touch her hand.

The door creaks reluctantly as it's closed. Eric stares at the pitiful derash a he's nowhere near finished, before resting his elbows on his desk and burying his head in his hands.

"You can't keep doing this..." he murmurs when his hand slips away from his face.

"Tee-hee, oh come on!" Cupid Me replies, fluttering beside him. His coy shtick is creepier now that he has aged alongside Eric and remained cherubic, despite Eric's change in religion. "You're not even going to try? I can show you how to use Grindr Ultra Max?"

Eric huffs.

"I'm familiar with dating apps, Cupid Me. I met Yentl - who I am very happy with - on J-Date, remember?"

Cupid Me huffs too, rolling his eyes and dropping his bow and arrow to his side.

"That was years ago! Eric, Yentl is great. She was there for you when you needed her, and you've had your fun... but I've sat on the sidelines for long enough. You're attracted to men too and it's about time you acknowledged that and explored that side of yourself freely - out in the open! With no wife in the way!"

"I'm not going to break up my perfectly happy marriage just so I can explore my bisexuality!" Eric snaps, swivelling in his chair to address Cupid Me who has fluttered to the other side of his chair. "I already did that twenty years ago! I can be bisexual and in a monogamous relationship, you know! The two are not exclusive!"

Cupid Me rolls his eyes, fist pressed to his pudgy hip.

"I know that!" he pouts. "But I miss having sex with men... you miss it too."

The nape of Eric's neck flushes and he shifts in his seat, gulping.

"Yeah, I miss it..." he shakes his head, shuffling his chair closer to his desk. "But that's what you sacrifice when you get married, being able to have sex with just anyone. Besides, you know as well as I do that Yentl and I have a pretty good sex life."

Cupid Me arches a sceptical eyebrow.

"Don't you mean 'had?' You haven't had sex since the Christmas party. That was five months ago, Eric."

Eric's eyes slip shut and he exhales through his nose. He really didn't need to be reminded.

"I know, Cupid Me."

Cupid Me flutters closer, until he's speaking right in Eric's ear.

"Kyle looked so good at that party, didn't he? He's more handsome now than he was in high school. Who would've thought that was possible?"

He makes a little huff when Eric bats him away like he's a mosquito.

"I don't want to talk about him..."

"Why not? You think about him plenty. I know that in the shower this morning you were thinking of that redhead you used to fuck in the showers at the gym, and you imagined it was Kyle instead."

Eric's eyebrows draw together and he shakes his head.

"So what? I did that with every guy I used to fuck back then. Pretend they were Kyle. I was insanely in love with him."

Cupid Me flutters closer again.

"Don't you mean 'are?'"

Eric bats him away again, harder this time and growling under his breath. He swivels in his chair so he's facing the annoying little prick directly, taking advantage of his disoriented state to make his case.

"No, I meant was ! I was in love with him before I fell in love with a woman who has made me happier than I ever thought possible! I was in love with him before I realised he would never go for me in a million years!"

Cupid Me blinks, shakes his head before fluttering towards Eric again.

"No, you are in love with him but you pretend like you're not because that's easier to take! You are in love with him because you avoided him for years and moving back here is the hardest thing you've ever had to do!" With every rebuttal Cupid Me flutters closer and closer until he's right in Eric's face and Eric goes cross-eyed just looking at him. "And now all your worst fears are being realised..."

Eric grumbles under his breath, shaking his head and rolling his chair away from him.

"How is this supposed to make me feel better, Cupid Me? You're basically proving me right that I should have never come back here."

If he had one fucking thing he could blame Yentl for, it was convincing him that this move would be okay. He had filled her in on some of his baggage about moving back home, but tried to keep it as vague as possible. Then this great opportunity to lead a temple in the suburbs of Denver came up, and Yentl told Eric he would be a fool not to take it. It would be good for him to reconnect with where he came from. Besides, he's middle-aged, Eric had reasoned, he's comfortable and secure, but then Kyle had to dismantle all that. Although, shouldn't he really stop blaming people for his problems? His mom, and the school, and Heidi, and Kyle, and Yentl.

"I'm just saying maybe you should reframe the narrative," Cupid Me says, losing the goading tone. "Losing Yentl will be hard, but there is a lot of love and respect there for you to make this co-parenting thing work. What's the alternative? Your sex life dwindles even more into nothing? You become resentful? You've already discussed no more kids so what will be left by the time they've all grown up? Not a whole lot. That's not fair. Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things."

Eric sighs, flops back in his chair so it rocks and makes a small creaking sound.

"What's better than this?"

"Kyle," Cupid Me replies confidently, instantly, without a single thought.

Eric sighs, shooting him a deadpan, cynical look.

"No, he's not better. He's unattainable. There is a huge difference."

"Eric, honey! Dinner's ready!"

Cupid Me eyes him up and down, hand on his pudgy hip once more.

"So you're not even going to try?"

Eric shrugs, defeated.

"There's no point."

"Eric?"

"God damn it, I'll be down in a sec!" Eric shouts and instantly regrets it. He buries his head in his hands, but when he looks up, Cupid Me is still fluttering in the air, looking as smug as ever. He scowls at him. "This discussion is over, Cupid Me..."

No matter how much Cupid Me protests, Eric always gets the last word. He vanishes in a puff of popping love hearts when Eric gets out of his chair and makes his way downstairs, already preparing his apology for how abrasive he was just then.

Later, Eric is in bed scrolling through his phone, debating whether to add Kyle again on Facebook Meta Super Plus, while Yentl performs her nightly cream-applying ritual in their en-suite bathroom. She flicks off the bathroom light when she's done, padding into the bedroom. Eric shoots her a small smile as she enters.

He puts his phone down on the nightstand when she gets under the covers, and he takes his glasses off too.

"Good night, sweetie," he says, about to turn off the lamp when she chuckles and tugs at his arm, pulling him towards her.

"Hey, hold your horses there, mister!"

"What?" Eric chuckles thinly, eyeing her up and down.

She shrugs, stroking Eric's chest and fiddling with the buttons on his nightshirt.

"I just thought that... maybe we could be intimate tonight?"

When she looks up at him it's meant to be coy, but it just looks desperate. Maybe that's because Eric knows he's going to turn her down.

"Oh..." he sighs, shaking his head. "Oh, Yentl, I'm not really in the mood."

"You haven't been in the mood for a while now, honey, is everything okay?" she asks, raking her gaze over him with concern and tugging at his shirt a little harder.

Eric closes his eyes and sighs through his nose again because he's sick of saying it. He's very aware that he could put an end to the repetition by actually telling the truth, but that's so much harder.

"Yes, everything is fine."

Yentl winces.

"Have you been struggling to get an erection?"

Eric's mouth drops open.

"What?"

Yentl shuffles closer, rubbing his chest again.

"Because it's nothing to be embarrassed about, there are drugs that can help with that..."

"No!" Eric snaps, batting her hand away and flopping down, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling belligerently. "No problems there..." he murmurs, thinking of how he jerks off in the shower everyday with Kyle's name on his lips, not Yentl's.

Yentl deflates next to him.

"So it's me?" she whispers.

Shit.

He whips his head around to look at Yentl to see her sucking in her bottom lip and playing with a loose thread on the quilt cover.

"No, of course it's not you!"

"I should've known this would happen," Yentl says regardless. She's trying to remain composed but her eyes are glittering with tears, her voice wobbly. She demurely swipes at a stray tear. "We've had three kids and I'm not as..." she rolls her eyes. " Taut down there as I used to be, and it's been so hard with the baby to have any privacy. I just thought that..." she purses her lips tightly again, more tears forming in her eyes. "When Hackelm went into the nursery things would get better-"

"Yentl, I think you are beautiful," Eric cuts in, placing a hand to her cheek so she'll look at him. "I want you just as much now as the day we met, and I'm sorry if my behaviour recently has suggested otherwise." He swipes away another stray tear with his thumb, but at least she's smiling now. He shrugs. "Maybe we can find ways to spice things up a little bit?"

Yentl nods slowly.

"Okay." She sniffles, before looking into Eric's eyes. "Do you have anything in mind?"

Eric's eyes roam the sheets as he thinks of something. and of course only one person comes to mind. Well, if he can't have him in real life, he can pretend that he gets to fuck him.

"How about... roleplay?"

Yentl raises her eyebrows.

"Roleplay?"

Eric nods brightly, in an attempt to convince her, but he thinks he knows what will.

"Yeah, how about..." his voice drops to a soft, low tone as his hand runs down Yentl's chest, her stomach, before sliding in between her legs. She gasps when he starts stroking her clit through her satin slip. "You pretend to be asleep, and I'm rooting through the drawers in your bedroom, looking for something..."

She shudders, eyes slipping shut and mouth dropping open. She flared under Eric's fingers immediately, as soon as he started stroking her. He wonders if she's been masturbating too, during this period of abstinence. Still, nothing compares to another person's hands on you.

"Like a home invasion?" she whispers, eyes still closed and eyebrows drawing together then coming apart.

"No, no, not like a home invasion. I'm just looking for something you stole from me. I don't want to hurt you. You confess that you did steal something from me, but that to get it back, I'm going to have to fuck you. How does that sound?"

Yentl giggles mischievously, and it's wobbly.

"A little out there, but good..." her mouth falls open and her body arches as Eric shifts his index finger. He slips his finger inside her but it's still sheathed by the material of her nightie. " Oh... oh, Eric..."

"Cartman..." he murmurs.

"Huh?" she groans, blinking her eyes open.

"Call me Cartman."

She squints at him.

"But I thought you didn't want-"

"It's just for the fucking roleplay, Yentl, will you please just call me Cartman?" he snaps.

Yentl flinches but nods, closing her eyes and getting comfortable again. Eric rewards her by stroking her faster, prodding at her clit with his finger.

"Cartman..." she writhes. " Cartman... oh yes, Cartman..."

Eric snickers, biting his lip at the thought of stroking Kyle through his pyjamas. He wonders if he still sleeps in his childhood room... regardless, that's where they are right now. That's where he is. Kyle's body is writhing beneath him and Eric is palming at him through his underwear.

"Yeah, that's it. Do you like that?"

Yentl takes a shaky, glinting breath.

"Yes... " she frowns, eyebrows knitted together. "I missed you so much, Eric... " she shakes her head. "Sorry, Cartman..."

"Yeah, you're so fucking horny, aren't you?" he asks, ragged and when he shoves two fingers inside her, Yentl yelps in agreement. "Bet the only reason you stole my headphones in the first place is because you wanted me to fuck you. Such a sneaky little slut." Eric's face is on fire at this conniving, horny Kyle in his head, luring Eric to his bedroom with stolen headphones. "Well, it worked." he licks his lips, rock hard in his pants. "Gonna fuck your tight little ass until you scream."

"Wh-what?" Yentl asks, blinking her eyes open again.

Eric gulps audibly, blinking too and trying to come back to reality.

"Oh, honey, I was just thinking that maybe we could try anal again?"

Yentl shifts on the bed warily.

"We haven't done that in a while."

"I-I-I know but since we're spicing things up..." he sighs, looks at Yentl in that puppy-dog, pleading way he'll never forget how to do. "I really want this, Yentl."

"Okay..." Yentl nods slowly. She shifts on the bed again and takes a deep breath. "Okay sure..."

Eric gulps again, and tries to subdue the delighted grin dying to spread across his face.

"Alright. Turn around."

Eric removes his hand from between her legs, getting to his knees as Yentl turns around. She gets on all fours and lifts her ass up in the air, and Eric shuffles behind her. He reaches for the lube in the nightstand, lifting up her slip before he can coat his fingers with lubricant. He runs his hands over her soft skin and imagines it's Kyle's ass he's touching. Would he feel firmer? How pert would his cheeks be? Eric's cock twitches as he imagines spreading him wide, kneading his cheeks and leaving indentions of his fingers in his flesh as he fucks him hard. His mouth feels heavy with the thought of it, but he soon snaps out of it and returns to business. He coats two fingers in a generous amount of lube and pushes one inside Yentl.

" Aaah... " she moans into the pillow, tightening around Eric's finger. " Ow..."

"Are you okay?"

Yentl nods.

"Tell me when you're ready..." Eric murmurs, before he adds a second.

She clutches the pillow but nods again and Eric takes that as his cue to finger her slowly, but it's when he picks up his pace does she start to moan and whimper, and Eric fingers her vigorously so he can transfer those noises to Kyle in his head.

" R-r-ready..." she eventually moans.

Eric pulls his fingers out of her, biting his lip to smother his grin.

"Alright, here we go..." he murmurs, trying to contain his excitement but he can't pull down his bottoms fast enough.

He squirts some lube onto his hand and strokes his cock, bucking into his hand at the cool, slick sensation. But he soon stops, wipes his hand on the quilt and shuffles forward. He grips her hips and guides her back onto his cock. Vaginal sex is great and all, but whenever Eric gets to do anal, his vision becomes spotty with stars and he feels like he's going to pass out... it feels that good. Yentl's tight hole twitching around his cock, how big it makes him feel, and how she gasps and moans so dirtily... he really could just cum right there, and when he imagines it's Kyle's hole he's stretching, how he would goad him, and how after all these years of fighting, Kyle would just submit, impaled on his cock... his mind melts at the notion.

" Aaah!" she cries as Eric starts fucking her hard and fast. She reaches out for the headboard. " Aaah, Eri- Cartman!"

Eric tips his head back and groans.

"Y-y-yeah that's it..." he pants, raking his gaze over her as he fucks her. "Don't stop saying that..."

" Cartman... Cartman... Aaah, Cartman!"

Eric closes his eyes. It's like his name - Cartman - is a spell that gets uttered three times and transports him to a different place, and right now he's in Kyle's childhood bedroom, with that snarky, handsome Kyle he saw at the Christmas party on all fours, getting pounded by Eric's big, fat cock. The iPod headphones Kyle stole, the ploy to come get Eric to fuck him, are strewn on the floor, hanging out of Kyle's discarded pants pocket.

"Fuck yeah you feel so good..." he murmurs, as the mattress squeaks below him . "I've always wanted to do this to you, no good fucking thief..."

They fuck for a few more minutes, until Eric's balls grow tighter and he remembers, sadly, that he's not fucking Kyle but his beautiful, sexy wife, and the routine they have for when they have this kind of sex. He grumbles as he pulls out of Yentl, turning her around and revealing her heaving chest, flushed, hazy face, and startled eyes. He swoops down to place a hard kiss on her lips, swiping her mouth open with his tongue as he rolls up her slip to kiss her collarbone. Her hard nipples brush against his nightshirt and as they frantically kiss he gropes her breasts. She arches up into him, whimpering, and when they come up for air from their kissing, Eric shifts a little to kiss and nip at one breast and play with her opposite nipple with his fingers.

" Oh..." Yentl moans, panting. " Oh god..."

He pulls back with a grunt, wiping his mouth and sitting in between her legs. She stares at his cock expectantly, lips parted as she spreads her legs wider. Eric jerks off vigorously, and Yentl plays with her clit. Eric moans, eyes slipping shut and he bucks into his hand before he cums with a groan, the white arc landing on Yentl's belly.

She still hasn't cum though, so Eric shuffles towards the end of their bed, practically lying down so he can eat her out. He figures that if he can make her cum hard enough, it will placate her for a while, stop her from asking questions, buy him time... but time to do what? Stall, and shut down and remain indecisive? Whatever way Eric looks at it, his time has run out. He's just running on fumes at this point.

" Unnh... yes... Eric!" she cries when she cums, shuddering wetly beneath him. " Eric!"

She sobs in the aftermath, her body shaking and Eric feels as pleased as he always does when he makes her cum. But when he looks up to say something flirtatious, he sees that she's not crying with ecstasy. She's blubbering, dabbing at her eyes with her wrist, and wiping Eric's cum off her belly with a tissue.

"Yentl?" Eric asks, crawling up the bed so his hands are either side of her head. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" his heart prickles with guilt. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," she replies, shaking her head and face still creased with tears. "No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?" Eric asks, climbing off her and stroking her cheek.

She cries for a couple more seconds before her expression hardens and she turns to Eric.

"Eric, are you having an affair?"

Eric freezes.

Shit.

SHIT.

Eric isn't, but judging by how his heart is racing and his skin is prickling you'd think that he is. In a way he's relieved that he hasn't been making a total fool out of Yentl. But she's smart, of course she knows something is up. She's smart, and she's beautiful, and kind and she doesn't deserve to live like this, in a half-hearted marriage where the idiot who's married to her can't even appreciate her properly.

"What? No! No, of course not! I..." Eric sighs, realising that what Yentl deserves from him, above all else, is the truth. "Yentl, we need to talk. Let's go downstairs."

Yentl nods, still sniffling. They compose themselves and go downstairs, drinking wine and talking and crying until the sky isn't even black anymore. It's grey, and the wine bottle is empty and Eric's eyes are burning from the tears and lack of sleep. Yentl looks just as grey, her bloodshot gaze preoccupied as she chews her fingernails.

"So you're... bisexual?"

Eric's eyes slip shut and his body deflates with a sigh through his nose.

"Yes, and the reason I never told you was because I could barely admit it to myself..."

Yentl shakes her head, chuckling ruefully before she meets his gaze.

"Oh Eric, it's 2060. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of."

Eric's eyes sting with new tears, and he swallows the lump in his throat.

"I know that. I know that I just... before I converted, before I met you, I was in such a dark place. I had so much baggage from the past, and my sexuality... it felt like it was woven into that, and so for my life to be better I had to shelve it. Like I shelved everything else. I love my life, but it also feels disingenuous somehow, and I'm trying to reconcile that. The love I have for you and the children is so real, but I feel like I don't deserve it." His voice cracks, and he buries his head in his hands to hide his tears.

"That is nonsense, of course you deserve it! I couldn't ask for a better husband and the children couldn't ask for a better father."

Eric sits back in his chair, sniffling and wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

"I've been trying to outrun how I feel for so long, and now it's caught up to me and I'm at this cliff's edge, and..."

"What?" Yentl whispers.

"I feel like I just need to jump." He shakes his head and his lip wobbles again, more tears form in his eyes. "But I don't want you to hate me," he whispers. "I don't want to lose the kids."

Yentl reaches across the table, although she knows she can't reach him. But they look into each other's eyes and that's enough.

"I will never hate you, and I will never deprive you of your children..." she sighs, rubs her lips together. "And I will never deprive you of an opportunity for you to be happy."

Eric blinks.

"You mean it?" he whispers.

Yentl nods, tears brimming in her eyes. She slides out of her chair to make her way over to Eric, but Eric leaps out of his chair first, pulls her into her arms and holds her tightly. She slowly wraps her arms around him, fingers splayed at his back.

"If I'm a great husband then it's only because you made me one," he says directly into her ear. "Anybody would be lucky to have you, Yentl. I know I am."

He can feel her smiling, feel her cheek press against his one last time.

"So what are you gonna do?" she asks when they part. Her hands slide down his arms.

"Maybe stay at Kenny's? He's on a trip at the moment, so I could crash at his place," Eric replies, voice still thick. It's hard to be matter-of-fact right now. "We'll tell the children tomorrow." His heart sinks like someone has tied a dumbbell around it. He rubs his face. "God, that is going to be so hard..."

Yentl grasps his wrists and pulls his hand away from his face.

"We can do it," she says, looking into his eyes. "Just like everything, we can get through this together."

They fall into a gentler hug this time, and Eric remembers to smell her hair and inhale the scent of the moisturisers on her skin, before a feeble cry crackles through the baby monitor.

"Shoot," Yentl mutters when they part, wiping her eyes. "I'd better go check on Hackelm."

Eric nods, and watches her walk away, but he reaches for her hand and tugs her back before she can leave.

"Hey..." he whispers.

She blinks, prompting him to say something.

Eric takes a deep, shaky breath.

"I do love you. I'll always love you."

Yentl's eyes glimmer, and she purses her lips.

"I love you too," she whispers, before she lets him go.

Kyle has visited Shady Acres too many times to count, yet whenever he visits he always balks at the doors that, you'd think, would slide open automatically but instead remain stubbornly shut. He looks up at the scrolling message written in neon yellow at the top of the doors, asking him to ' please state who you are and your reason for visiting.' He clears his throat to speak into the small intercom.

"Kyle Broflovski to see Gerald and Sheila Broflovski."

Kyle isn't sure whether the intercom and facial recognition scanner that is clasped together by the seal of the door is supposed to resemble a face but it does, and it always puts him on edge. The doors 'eyes' glow red and scan his face.

" Patients 154 and 155 are waiting in cafeteria to see son." A clipped, robotic voice announces. Its face breaks apart as the doors open.

Kyle goes to say thank you but then remembers himself, scurrying inside and heading to the cafeteria.

There are comfortable chairs around the perimeter of the cafeteria for residents to sit with their visitors. They could sit at one of the tables too, but Kyle's mom says they're too hard and uncomfortable, so the centre of the cafeteria is often the loneliest place. Those without visitors eat soup and cereal that mostly fall from their spoons before they enter their mouths, but the small care assistant robots who are less eerie than the door robot and far more cute, rush to dab residents' faces with napkins and take their empty plates away.

Kyle's parents are sitting in the comfortable chairs, and Kyle waves when he spots them. His dad is snoozing, his dentures sliding out of his mouth, but his mom spots him and her face lights up when she waves back. She gives his dad a sharp shove with her elbow and he soon wakes up, sitting up in his chair and fixing his teeth. Kyle chuckles softly to himself, but holds his hands up when he sees his mom reaching for her walking stick and trying to get out of her chair.

"No, ma, it's okay, sit down!"

She nods, not complaining and shaking a little as she returns to her seat with a creaky sigh. He gives her a small hug, and places a kiss on her cheek.

She beams up at him as he pulls away, patting his cheek before he shares a brief hug with his dad.

"How are you guys?" he asks.

"Oh, we're fine, bubbe," she replies, patting at the knitted blanket that's draped over her lap.

"Have you been doing anything exciting?" Kyle asks, pulling up a chair. There is genuine intrigue behind his questions, but also assessment of how active they're keeping. If they languish in the comfortable chairs all day then it starts a nasty spiral.

"Well, we've been playing bridge and... oh, we've been to a couple of start-up meetings!"

Dread lurches in Kyle's stomach and he arches an eyebrow.

"Start-up meetings? What are you talking about?"

"Some guys come in talking about NFTs, or investing in new technologies on Mars, and they want us to pitch in," his dad replies.

Kyle raises both eyebrows pointedly at his parents.

"I hope you walk away from these meetings? Because they're con-artists."

His father nods emphatically, shifting in his seat.

"Oh yes, I say to your mother, 'Sheila, we are not throwing our pensions into these schemes.'"

"Yes, but it doesn't hurt to talk to them?" his mom smiles naively. "They're nice, young people-"

"No, ma. They're slimy opportunists who want to take advantage of older people like you."

They should trust Kyle on this. He was best friends with the biggest opportunist in the world until he left for college... and until said opportunist reformed and settled down with a wife and kids.

"Charlatans!"

Kyle nods.

"Dad's exactly right." He raises his eyebrows pointedly at just his mom this time. "Charlatans."

She frowns at Kyle and his dad like they just don't get it, like if Kyle got to know these slimy opportunists he'd see they're not so bad.

"But they just remind me so much of you! They're so young-"

"I'm not young anymore, ma. I'll be fifty next year."

"That's young, bubbe!" she taps his knee encouragingly. "You know, the average life expectancy of an American man is now-"

"I know." Kyle rolls his eyes. "One hundred and five. So I am soon approaching the middle of my life, as in middle-aged. I'm not young and I certainly wouldn't take advantage of people like you."

She rolls her eyes too and shakes her head, dismissing the conversation with a wave of her hand.

"I know, I know, bubbe, let's talk about something else..." she opens her eyes and clasps her hands in her lap, smiling at Kyle with sparkly, intent eyes. "How have you been?"

"Fine." Kyle nods. "Work is fine..."

He knows the saying 'no news is good news', but no news also feels like stagnation. He kind of wishes they were still talking about the crooks who come in here to scam residents, and who the care home should surely weed out with their screening process.

"What did you do for your birthday?"

Kyle doesn't reply that his birthday was a few weeks ago and his mom has asked him this question during every subsequent visit. It's concerning, but for now Kyle believes that this repetitive question-asking is mainly due to how suspended time feels when you're in this place, and his mom searching for conversation.

"After I left here I had dinner with Bebe."

His mom blinks.

"Are you and her dating now?"

Kyle's eyebrows furrow.

"Wh- no! She's my best friend, mom. Besides, I'm gay, remember?"

She shakes her head and chuckles.

"I remember, bubbe, I'm not that senile! I just thought that everything was so fluid these days..." she says with another wave of her hand.

Kyle sighs.

"Well, yeah, things are more fluid but I am very much only attracted to men."

His mom shrugs matter-of-factly, before quickly perking up again.

"Probably just as well because I have a date for you!"

Kyle's eyebrows knit together again and he stares at her hard. He's quickly losing his grip on this conversation.

"You..." his mouth opens and closes, before he figures he should start again. "You what?"

"I have a date for you!" his mom replies. Her voice is bubbling with excitement but she's also acting like this is the most normal turn of events in the world. "I was video chatting with my friend Maureen in Denver and she happened to mention that the rabbi at her temple is newly single and looking to date!"

Kyle's hopes weren't high - honestly, he's still trying to wrap his head around the fact that his mom and her friend Maureen want to set him up at all - but whatever hopes he did have plummet immediately when his mom reveals she wants to set him up with a rabbi.

"Seriously?"

"Yes!" She taps Kyle's knee again and gives him a mirthful look, eyes twinkling. "Maureen showed him a picture of you and he was so excited, he really wants to make this happen!"

Kyle arches an eyebrow, still deflated.

"A rabbi though?"

His mom sits back, affronted.

"What's wrong with a rabbi?"

"Nothing! I just never pictured myself dating a rabbi..." All the rabbis Kyle has ever met are, well, old and straight. Not exactly dating material. He sighs. "Do you at least have a picture of him?"

His mom shuffles stiffly in her seat, and avoids Kyle's eyes like he's questioning her about some NFT she's purchased.

"Well, no, he said that if you were willing to go on a date he wanted it to be a surprise." She finally looks at him to smile, like this is promising. "Very old-school and very romantic!"

Kyle huffs, and flops back in his chair.

"So what, he gets to see a picture of me but I don't get to see what he looks like? That doesn't seem fair..." he shakes his head and huffs, eyes squeezing shut because when did he start entertaining this? "Besides, I don't even know if I want to go on a date with this mysterious rabbi! What would we even talk about?"

"The Torah?" his dad pipes up.

"Fun." Kyle snickers, rolling his eyes.

"Kyle! Don't belittle your own faith!"

Kyle shrinks back into his seat again, shoulders drawing up.

"Sorry, ma..."

"Don't worry about what you'll talk about, you'll figure it out when you meet each other, like any other first date!" His mom is enthusiastic for a second before her shoulders slouch, and she looks exhausted and grey. "Bubbe, please consider it. I know you've been single for a while now, but it breaks my heart to think of you in our family home all alone. Please?" she begs, her already creased brow creasing even more. "He's looking forward to meeting you."

Kyle takes a deep, conflicted breath. He looks between his pleading mom and his uninterested dad, and figures that going out on a date with a newly single rabbi isn't the worst thing in the world. The best case scenario that Kyle isn't going to entertain for too long because he knows it's unlikely, is that this guy is handsome, and charming, they have a great time, more dates, amazing sex and fall madly in love... worst case scenario he's a total dud, and the middle-of-the-road, most likely scenario, is that he's a nice enough man who Kyle isn't attracted to, but Kyle has a pleasant conversation with and a delicious meal to boot. He snickers ruefully and shrugs.

"Fine." He throws his hands up nonchalantly. "Fine, what the hell?"

His mom claps rapidly, her rings clacking together.

"Ooh, this is exciting! I can't wait to let Maureen know!"

Kyle chuckles, knowing that however this evening goes it'll be worth it to see his mom so excited.

"But I'm only doing this for you, okay?" he smiles, arching an eyebrow at her.

She clasps her hands under her chin and beams at him.

"Fine by me, bubbe."

So it looks like for the first time in five years Kyle has a date... a blind date that was set up by his mother and her friend Maureen, whoever she is. Oh god.

The following week Kyle finds himself heading to a kosher restaurant with a little spring in his step, because despite the rational voice in his head telling him otherwise... he's been fantasising a lot about the best case scenario of this blind date, that tonight he's going to meet the love of his life. Maybe it's because it's his first date in five years, or maybe because of the mystery surrounding this evening, but he's almost convinced himself that waiting for him is the perfect man who just gets Kyle. That's all Kyle really wants. More than looks or sense of humour is somebody he can be himself around.

He smiles at the host as he enters the restaurant but then his shoulders draw up when he scans the table for his mysterious date. He's only ever seen rabbis in temple, when they're 'on duty' so to speak, and he doesn't know if a date is an 'off-duty' kind of occasion. All the tables seem to be populated by couples, or families, or friends, no lone diners... until he spots one lone diner and his heart fucking drops to the floor. Eric Cartman, pouring himself a glass of water from the pitcher at the table, and then it hits Kyle like a fucking 18-wheeler. This is it. This is his date. No, not a date. A trap . Cartman fucking lured him here. This isn't the best case scenario, this is a horrific, nightmare scenario, because not only is he disappointed, but humiliated too. He has to leave before Cartman notices him. The only way to salvage any kind of dignity or victory from this situation is to leave right now and stand Cartman up. But he can't move. His feet are frozen to the spot, and Cartman soon notices him. He blinks, and raises his hand in a shy, stiff wave. Kyle grits his teeth, his upper lip curls.

"No..." he murmurs, shaking his head. "No, no, no!"

Kyle presses his lips tightly together, spins on his heels and storms out.

"Kyle!" Cartman calls after him, and Kyle hears the clatter of cutlery as he gets up and then his footsteps following him. "Kyle, wait!"

But Kyle is already outside, storming to the parking lot and not looking back. How could he have been so stupid? But how was he to know that Cartman would do this? Aren't his days of messing with Kyle supposed to be over now that he is settled and happy?

"Kyle, hold on a second!" Cartman exclaims behind him, slightly breathless. "Let me explain..."

"Explain what?!" Kyle replies, turning around to face him, seething. Cartman actually flinches, and looks around the parking lot. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, Cartman?!"

Cartman fidgets awkwardly, before rolling his eyes.

"Eric-"

"I don't fucking give a shit!" Kyle snaps, he can't even entertain that request at the moment, especially when nothing has changed. Same old malicious Cartman. "You're lucky I'm not calling you a sick bastard right now! Which you are! So what..." he gulps, swallowing down the hurt. "Was this some elaborate scheme? Have you and your perfect fucking wife been cooking up ways to humiliate me? I bet you made up so much fucking bullshit about me. I bet she's watching from your car fucking loving this-"

"Kyle, please slow down," Cartman begs, holding his hands up. "That's not the case at all..." he rubs the bridge of his nose, looking at the ground. He sighs. "Maybe I handled this wrong, but if you could just let me explain?"

"Fine," Kyle replies, crossing his arms tightly. "Make it quick."

"Yentl and I..." Cartman looks into his eyes. "It's over."

Kyle deflates. That shocking confession knocks all the wind out of his furious sails and he blinks.

"What?"

"Yeah, about six weeks ago," Cartman replies, sounding just as deflated. "Moving back here... " he sighs. "It brought up a lot of feelings I had buried, made me confront parts of myself that I had been repressing for years, and..." he frowns. "We love each other a lot, and we want to do right by the kids, but we're no longer together."

"Okay..." Kyle nods, eyebrows furrowing. "So what, you're gay now?"

Cartman raises his eyebrows.

"Bi, actually."

"Great." Kyle rolls his eyes, but he didn't mean for that to sound so bitter and sarcastic. He sighs and shakes his head. "I mean, that's great, Cartman. Good for you, I guess."

Cartman snickers softly, like he's not all that convinced.

"Thanks."

Kyle narrows his eyes at him.

"So how do I factor into all this?"

"Oh..." Cartman blinks, nodding and looking at the ground again, like he wasn't expecting to have to address this. "That... well, this lady at my temple said that she had a friend who had a son who was about my age who was single and looking to date, and then she showed me your picture and I..." he shakes his head, and his cheeks grow pinker. "I don't know. I was pretty taken aback, so I agreed to the date-"

"But you wouldn't let Maureen send a picture of you to my mom?"

"I thought if you knew it was me you wouldn't show up," Cartman replies, looking at him now.

Kyle shrugs, uncomfortable.

"Well, your instinct was right. So what..." his stomach clenches at what this may mean. "You want to go on a date with me?"

Cartman gulps, shaking his head.

"No..." his voice is threadbare and he clears his throat, averting Kyle's gaze. "No, I just thought that this would be a good chance for us to catch up." He shrugs uncomfortably too as he meets Kyle's gaze again. "I feel like things were awkward at the Christmas party, and we haven't really talked in years."

Kyle fidgets. His arms are still crossed and he feels too stiff and vulnerable to unfold them.

"You could've just messaged me," he murmurs.

Cartman arches an eyebrow at him.

"How? You unfriended me."

Kyle feels hot behind his ears and he shoves his hands deeper into his armpits. This is so not what he imagined happening tonight. He didn't expect to see Cartman, and he certainly didn't expect them to be addressing their estrangement from each other's lives.

"Well... you could've tried to add me again."

"Would you have accepted my friend request?" Cartman asks, and he has a rueful smile in his voice.

Kyle sighs, and rolls his eyes.

"Good point. Cartman..." he looks at the ground, gearing himself up for what he's about to say, but he has to say it because he's tired of not talking, of petty squabbles of who could've added who. He just wants to be honest. "I don't know if 'appreciate' is the right word, but I appreciate you trying to get back in touch with me and wanting to catch up..." his eyes slip shut and he shakes his head. "But this was such a fucked up way to go about it."

"I know-"

"No, you don't know," Kyle cuts him off, glaring at him. "This was supposed to be the first date I went on in five years, and I was sceptical because it was set up by my mom and her friend, but the closer it got to tonight I was actually starting to look forward to it, and..." his leg is jittering and he huffs, trying to get the words out without yelling at him. "No offence, but when I saw you it fucking crushed me."

Cartman nods, head bowed and he tucks his hands into his jacket pockets.

"I could tell." He looks up at Kyle and smiles shyly. "You don't exactly hide your emotions well."

Kyle chuckles softly because he doesn't know what else he can do.

Cartman studies his face and sighs.

"I'm really sorry."

Kyle nods, because what else can he do? What else can he ask from him?

"Okay," he whispers. "Thank you, but I would really like it if you left me alone now."

Cartman hangs his head and sighs, but nods too.

"Fair enough." He looks up at Kyle. "I'm sorry again."

Kyle shoots him a tight, weak smile and walks the short distance to his car. He doesn't look back to see if Cartman has walked off too.

"One more thing..." he hears Cartman say when he opens his door.

Kyle sighs and looks over his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"I fucked up, I know that... but we're here, and my intentions for tonight really were good," Cartman says with a weak, imploring smile that dissolves into a frown. He steps closer. "I've missed you, and I really regret cutting you out of my life, and I know I've given you little reason tonight to think otherwise but I really have changed, Kyle. For the better. I want to make a fresh start, and a big part of that for me is redeeming myself in your eyes even if it's forty years overdue. So... the table is booked, and we're here, and I want to get to know you again. I totally understand if you want to drive off, but the offer is still on the table if you want to catch up."

Kyle nods, and a little part of him wants to take Cartman up on the offer. He's glad Cartman has apologised, glad he's back in his life kind of... but he's still fucking bummed about tonight and he doesn't know if he's in the catching up mood.

"Thank you. I appreciate it... but I think I'll pass for tonight."

"Okay." Cartman nods, a little deflated. "Have a good night."

They share small, tight smiles before Kyle slides into the car and shuts the door. But he can't start the car. He knows Cartman is a few feet away and for some reason... call it not knowing when to leave things alone or whatever, but he just can't go. He can't have listened to Cartman tell him all that and leave it there. They can't not talk for twenty years and cut the night short. Even if it's not the night Kyle had hoped for and wanted, he can't just go home now.

"God damn it..." he mutters, before scrambling to get out of the car before it's too late. When he gets out, he sees Cartman is returning to the restaurant, head bowed and hands in his pockets. "Cartman!"

Cartman turns around, and stops and waits for Kyle. Kyle jogs over to him, and when he reaches him, he throws his hands up.

"I'm here. We might as well take this opportunity to catch up."

Cartman smiles, eyes twinkling. His smile broadens into a beam and he holds out his hand for Kyle to shake.

Kyle frowns, eyebrows knitted together.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm Eric. Pleased to meet you."

Kyle rolls his eyes, but smirks at how cheesy this is.

"I don't have to pretend I don't know you for the entire dinner, do I?"

"No."

"Okay," Kyle replies, before shaking his hand and deciding to give the barest minimum. "Kyle."

Nonetheless, Cartman... Eric ... grins appreciatively.

"Nice to meet you."

They return to the restaurant, and luckily they held onto their table... although Kyle wouldn't have objected to finding somewhere else to eat, as they made somewhat of a scene earlier and had to field curious looks from fellow diners as they returned to their table. They order some wine and peruse the menu, but Kyle can hardly take in what's written on the menu when all he wants to talk about is Eric's separation. Eric kind of gave him the gist, but he wants details. He just needs to find an angle to approach it that seems concerned and not nosy.

"Um, so how are your kids handling it? You and Yentl separating?"

Eric lowers his menu and takes a sip of his icy water.

"As well as you'd expect. They understand - or we hope they understand - that just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean we love them any less, or that Yentl and I hate each other. She's been amazing through this whole thing."

Kyle nods. He thinks about Yentl at that Christmas party and the first thing that comes to mind is this warmth that you just want to step into. Kyle wishes he had talked to her more.

"Yeah, she seems like a really nice person. She seemed good for you and... patient."

Eric smirks and arches an eyebrow.

"Patient?"

"Yeah, I mean..." Kyle shrugs, smirking too. "You know you. She must have the patience of a saint to have put up with you."

Eric sighs, grinning now.

"I don't know, you put up with me for years and you're almost as impatient as me."

Kyle fiddles with the cutlery and shifts in his seat.

"Yeah, well, you have a funny way of getting under people's skin, Cartman." He shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut. "I mean, Eric. " He opens his eyes. "Sorry, I'm still getting used to that."

Eric shrugs.

"It's fine. I get it."

"What I was saying was you have a funny way of getting under people's skin..." Kyle rolls his eyes. "Whether they want you to or not." Kyle leans forward, still with so many questions. "So..."

"Your wine, gentlemen?" their waiter asks.

"Oh, thank you." Eric smiles, reclining in his seat as the waiter pours the sauvignon blanc they ordered.

Kyle smiles tightly when the waiter pours his glass.

"Thank you." he leans forward again when the waiter has left. "So... your bisexuality..."

Eric snickers and shakes his head.

"Shit, we're really getting into it now. Good thing we have wine, huh?"

Kyle chuckles thinly. Although his palms are sweaty for some reason and just looking at the wine sends his stomach leaping into his throat... or maybe that's just the question dying to leap from his lips.

"Yeah, um... " he rubs his lips together before figuring he should come right out and ask it. "Did you cheat on your wife?"

Eric doesn't do anything except take a long sip of his wine.

"I-I-I don't care if you did," Kyle rushes to add. "It wouldn't be my place to judge-"

"No, I didn't cheat on my wife," Eric cuts in, voice hard. But he soon arches an eyebrow at Kyle and smirks. "Seriously, Kyle, bisexuality isn't a synonym for promiscuity-"

Kyle cuts him off with an exasperated sigh.

"Please fucking spare me, okay? I know that, and I can't handle you lecturing me, I was just curious."

"Okay, well, I didn't cheat on my wife, but that was a part of my life I was hiding from her, so ultimately it felt like a betrayal."

Kyle frowns at Eric's contemplative, sombre face. Maybe he thinks he's made a mistake? They seemed so happy together, and it's never too late. Maybe it doesn't have to be like this.

"You could've come out and stayed together," Kyle says, by way of consolation.

Eric sighs.

"I know that." He takes another sip of his wine. "It's complicated..."

Kyle nods, lips pursed and he sits back in his seat. Well, that's that then. He squirms though, replaying Eric's parking lot confession in his head, combing through it for more questions.

"You said you had buried feelings-"

Eric chuckles and holds his hands up.

"Okay, I've had enough of a grilling for the time being so it's your turn." He leans forward, arms folded on the table. "Is this really your first date in five years?"

Kyle sighs through his nose and takes the first sip of his wine, because he's going to need it if they're getting into the territory of his love life.

"Okay, this is no longer a date and yes, it would've been."

Eric makes a soft humming sound and blinks, sitting back.

"Wow..." he whispers, before smiling at Kyle. "Well, this would've been my first date in, like twenty years, so I have you beat."

Kyle chuckles, appreciating Eric's attempt at solidarity but not believing it. He arches a wry eyebrow at him.

"I bet you and Yentl used to go on date nights."

Eric nods, conceding that point.

"Yeah, not so much since we had the kids."

Kyle snickers softly, before shaking his head and sighing.

"I can't believe you're a dad..."

Eric snickers too.

"Yeah, me neither."

"I think it's great, Eric. I would kill to have what you have."

Eric blinks, before shrugging.

"Well, there's still time."

"No, I think that ship has sailed," Kyle mutters, before taking a sip of his wine.

Kyle always saw himself with kids, but he also thought he had all the time in the world to have them. He's had good relationships, but none of them had any mileage, petering out before it could become anything too serious. Kyle looks back and thinks he should have proposed, should have discussed kids with at least one of his boyfriends, but he didn't, and that's that. But even if these relationships were doomed to fail, at least he would have the divorce papers, or a couple of kids to feel like he'd achieved something he assumed as a teenager would be a given for him. Good job, good partner, and children he adored.

"Says who?" Eric shrugs. "Fifty is the new thirty. I'm starting over, and so can you."

Kyle snorts.

"Starting over? I've barely got started."

Eric chuckles, before shrugging again.

"Well, then maybe you can give me some tips on living a bachelor lifestyle?"

Kyle snickers, reaching for his wine.

"I think you're better off asking Kenny for advice on that kind of stuff."

Eric sighs and nods.

"Yeah, you're probably right. I'm actually staying at his place in CtPaTown. Have you been there?"

Kyle shakes his head, gulping down the wine in his mouth.

"You should. It would be a great place to bring a date. It has blackout curtains, and a mirror on the ceiling, and a revolving bed-"

Kyle cuts Eric off with a scoff.

"Shut up, it does not!"

Eric's eyes widen and he laughs.

"It does, I swear!"

"That is so lame and cringy and... ugh, I'm disappointed in Kenny." Kyle shakes his head and rubs a hand over his face. "I refuse to believe it."

Eric takes another long sip of his wine, and shrugs and wipes the back of his mouth when he's finished.

"We can head over there after we're finished up here, if you want? If you don't believe me..."

The invitation catches Kyle off guard. His mouth opens and closes as he assesses whether Eric is serious and whether he should go, but then he figures, why not? It's better than going home alone, and he feels like he and Eric have a lot of missed time to catch up on... plus, he is extremely curious about Kenny's sleazy bachelor pad.

"Okay..." Kyle nods, chuckling. "Okay, I have to see this for myself so I can rip on him sufficiently."

After dinner they drive the short distance to Kenny's CtPaTown apartment. Kyle often wonders what the ten-year-old Eric Cartman would say if you told him that Kenny McCormick would become undoubtedly the wealthiest and most successful member of their friendship group... honestly, he wonders what the ten-year-old Eric Cartman would say if you told him that he would convert to Judaism, marry a Jewish woman and become a rabbi but the truth is he probably wouldn't be able to speak because his head would have exploded.

Kenny has a couple of houses around the country, although his work takes him all over the world. Right now, he's in Borneo, and Eric said he was telling Kenny all about his separation from Yentl while Kenny was perched in some treetop hut in the rainforest, watching the verdant jungle canopy sag under the weight of relentless, humid rain.

Kyle and Eric don't talk much in the car, although Kyle is sure there is still a lot to catch up on. But sometimes when you catch up with people you haven't seen in a while you have to keep plugging the gaps with conversation because the person seems unrecognizable to you now, and any lulls in conversation reveal how much you've drifted apart. But then sometimes you so easily slide back into your dynamic that you can't shut up, even if you wanted to, and those lulls in conversation are less noticeable, less uncomfortable. Eric should be completely unrecognisable to Kyle, and he is on the surface, but deep down he's still the same Cartman. On the whole that comforts Kyle, but still unnerves him the tiniest bit. It's like his toes are sunk into a plush, warm rug that can be pulled out from under him any second.

"Are you ready to see the sexist apartment in Colorado?" Eric asks him with a grin when they reach Kenny's front door.

"You mean the sleaziest?"

Eric chuckles, not looking at Kyle as he enters the passcode to be let in.

"Yeah, true. Just try not to be too turned on, okay?"

Kyle rolls his eyes and chuckles.

"Alright, I'll try."

The doors slide open with a beep and a whoosh, revealing tall windows and the twinkling lights of CtPaTown, but also sleek, black leather couches, a double king bed raised on a platform, a well-stocked bar, animal skin rugs and throws... and of course, the mirrored ceiling, which from where Kyle is standing provides an uneasy, shimmering reflection of the room below. It should make the space feel larger, but it has the opposite effect. Kyle wrinkles his nose as he steps in and walks around.

"Oh, ew. I thought we all decided that animal fur wasn't cool anymore."

He thought a lot of these features weren't cool anymore. He honestly can't wait for Kenny to get back from Borneo so he can rip on his interior design choices.

"Well, I don't think they're made from real fur. Most of these animals are extinct now, you know."

Kyle spots the small, tiger-skin rug by the bed and frowns.

"And the mirrored ceiling?" Kyle turns to Eric and chuckles. "Seriously?"

"That's not all," Eric says, picking up a small remote from a glass console table. "Black out curtains..." he presses a button and oppressive, black curtains slowly come together, covering the windows. "Ta-da!"

Kyle wrinkles his nose again but laughs.

"Ew!"

"Mood lighting..." Eric presses another button, and the lights flicker like they were called to sleepy attention before dimming and shrouding the corners of the room in shadow. "And speakers..."

Eric presses another button and a slow, sexy song with a deep, indulgent bass and generous reverb pour out of invisible speakers. Kyle snorts and shakes his head, before something hits him and he smirks.

"Hey, you seem to be pretty familiar with this place," he teases, stepping closer to Eric.

Eric rubs the back of his neck shyly as he searches for a retort.

"Well, yeah! I had to know the ins and outs of the joint if I was gonna bring a hot date back here."

Kyle snickers and rolls his eyes.

"You've never sounded more like an old man," he comments, before spinning on his heels, facing away from Eric as he further studies the sleaziest apartment in Colorado.

" I'm flyin'... I'm flyin' high like a bird..." The vocalist already has a deep voice, but his vocals have been slowed down so the lyrics melt out of his mouth. " And my fluttering wings can't keep you from pullin' me down..."

Kyle shakes his head at the excess of it all. Kenny is a pretty charming guy, he's successful, why does he think he needs all this to get laid?

"Okay, I know it's been a while but... do people really think it takes all this to get someone into bed?"

"Well..." Eric clears his throat. "What does it take?"

Kyle frowns, eyebrows drawing together. He turns around to ask Eric what he means by that, but Eric's nervous gaze, trained on him, snatches the words right out of his mouth.

"What?" Kyle whispers, threadbare, palms prickling with sweat.

Eric gulps audibly, gaze dropping to his shoes before he closes the gap between him and Kyle. Just like before, Kyle's feet are rooted to the spot as he finds himself in another situation with Eric Cartman he never thought he'd be in... no! No, that can't be what's happening, right? Eric can't actually be coming on to him?

"Kyle..."

Kyle blinks, prompting Eric to continue. Instead, Eric shivers as he rakes his gaze over him. Their eyes meet, and Kyle jolts like it gave him static shock.

"I think you are the most gorgeous man I have ever met."

"What?!" Kyle yelps. His heart is pounding out of time to the slow, sensual beat and it's very disconcerting. This whole thing is disconcerting. He sighs, flustered. "Eric, what are you talking about?"

"Ever since that Christmas party, I..." Eric grips the side of his head, lips pressed tightly together like he's about to explode. He releases his hair with a frustrated cry. "I-I-I can't stop thinking about you! I think about you constantly-"

"What the fuck! So was tonight just so you could bring me back up here and try to hook up with me?!" Kyle snaps, and his heart clenches when he feels that comforting rug start to shift a little under his feet. He really should have fucking known better.

Eric's eyes widen and he shakes his head.

"No!" he grips his hair again. "No, god, no, why would someone like you..." he sighs, releasing his hair again and rubbing his palms on his thighs. When he looks up at Kyle, his brow is creased. "Why would someone like you go for someone like me? I just..." he shakes his head, rubs his lips together. "It was eating me up, so I just had to tell you." He steps closer and Kyle stumbles back. "I'm crazy about you."

Kyle blinks, his shoulders drop and his knees feel like mush. It's been so long since someone has talked to him like that... correction, no one has ever talked to him like that. His heart is racing, his mouth is dry and he doesn't know whether it's flattery, or the loud music, or the fact the curtains have sealed them off from the rest of the world, but he's never felt so... feverish. So hot and bothered. His breaths are coming thick and fast, humid and clinging to his throat. The apartment is starting to feel as humid as a rainforest, and the opaque curtains and the mirrored ceiling are shrinking the room.

"Jesus, it's hot in here." Kyle gasps, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "Can you open a window? Or at least turn the music down?"

"And another thing," Eric continues, oblivious and becoming increasingly arch and incredulous. "I can't believe you've been single for five years! It's a fucking travesty!"

Kyle huffs, a little deflated and brought back down to Earth.

"Yeah, Eric, you don't need to remind me," he mutters, folding his arms and staring at his shoes. "It's pathetic."

"No, what's pathetic are the fucking dumb shits who didn't realise what they had when they had you!" Eric snaps. His shoulders droop. "I swear to Abraham, if I had you in my bed I couldn't keep my hands off you..."

Kyle's eyes widen, his cheeks burn and his throat constricts. He knows he should end this, that it's getting out of hand. But he can't move, even if he wanted to.

"Eric..." he whispers, and he doesn't know if it's in protest, or gratitude, or just... disbelief. It's all he can think to say right now.

Eric steps closer, stare hard. There is only a couple of inches separating them now, and their eyes are glued to each other.

"No way would I ever let you go and I..." Eric lowers his gaze and purses his lips, but when he looks at Kyle, he has the tiniest crease in his brow. "I feel like the biggest fucking putz in the world for cutting you out of my life. I've missed you so much."

Kyle opens his mouth to say something, to say he missed him too, to make up an excuse to leave, but he can't say either of those things.

He blinks, frowning when he's distracted by the song that's playing.

"I promised myself not to slip back into old habits, 'cause heartbreak is savvy and love is a bitch."

Kyle huffs, and grabs him by his shirt, pulling him to his lips without thinking about it. The less thinking he can do right now, the better. Eric's lips brush against his slowly, processing what is happening, before he grabs Kyle's shirt with both hands and pulls him roughly to him, deepening the kiss so their faces are squished together and they're breathing harshly through their noses like those flat-faced dogs but it's weirdly kind of hot. This whole thing... Kyle can rationalise it later, but it's so strangely, inexplicably hot. His body hasn't burned like this in a very long time.

They stumble over to the bed, and Eric huffs as he stumbles over the platform but they crash onto the mattress. Eric's suit jacket is splayed open and his chest is heaving as he looks up at Kyle. He adjusts his glasses, blinking and staring at Kyle with wide eyes as he climbs on top of him.

"Kyle..." he whimpers when Kyle's hands are either side of his head, when Kyle's thighs are either side of his broad hips.

"Shut up," Kyle murmurs, swooping down and placing a kiss to Eric's lips that it takes them a while to pull back from. "Shut up, no talking." Another kiss, another smack of lips. "Just kissing, alright?"

Eric nods, pulling Kyle on top of him so Kyle's hands give way and now his elbows are either side of Eric's head and they are chest to heaving chest. They kiss like that for a while, tongues grappling and bodies rubbing and writhing together. Eric was right, with Kyle in his bed he can't keep his hands off him, they roam Kyle's back, his shoulders, his neck, and hair, and Kyle's stomach lurches every time his hands wander above the waistband of his pants.

Kyle soon rolls off of Eric, tugging Eric by his shirt so they can kiss on their sides, legs tangled together. Kyle takes off Eric's glasses when he notices they've fogged up comically, and they giggle with their noses brushing together for a couple of seconds before they resume their kissing.

"I can make the bed spin, if you want?" Eric asks, ragged, in between kisses.

Kyle shakes his head, hazy.

"No..." kiss. "No, if you do that I'm gonna throw up the dinner we just had."

They chuckle again, low and humid, and Eric kisses the corner of Kyle's mouth before he nudges Kyle with his nose to bury his face in his neck. Kyle smothers a gasp and his eyes roll back as Eric pecks and nips at his neck.

" Kyle..." he murmurs, Kyle's beard brushes against his cheek as he rubs his body against his hip. " Kyle... fuck yes..."

Kyle lets himself moan, eyes drifting shut and he tilts his head slightly to give in to the feeling of Eric's lips on him... but as always, trepidation sets in the minute he starts to relax.

"I swear to god, if this is a joke..." he mutters.

"Huh?" Eric asks, pulling back from Kyle's neck.

His mouth is flushed from the scrape of Kyle's beard, and his eyes are gleaming with... hurt. Kyle wishes that Eric never heard him now, but he feels like it had to be said.

"This isn't a joke, right?" Kyle asks, wincing. "How do I know this isn't all an act?"

Eric rubs his lips together, exhales deeply through his nose.

"Does this..." he wraps his fingers around Kyle's wrist, guiding his hand between his legs and inviting him to grope at the erection in his pants. "Does this feel like I'm faking?"

Kyle shakes his head, completely speechless, and even the voice in his head that is screaming at him for touching Eric Cartman's dick is silenced when Eric kisses him again. Kyle continues to stroke him through his pants, and the muffled moans and whimpers send shivers down his spine.

"If I tell you something that you could totally use against me will that convince you this isn't a joke?" Eric asks in between kisses.

"Yeah..." Kyle murmurs, although he feels like they're past that now. "Okay..." he keeps kissing him.

Eric tilts his head so he can speak in Kyle's ear.

"I've had a crush on you since high school... I used to jerk off to your yearbook picture... you remember you lost your hat in sixth grade? I stole it so I could take it home and smell it when I was alone... and I've spent pretty much all of my adult life jerking off to thoughts of you. I used to imagine that all the guys I fucked in my twenties were actually you..."

"Wait, you've been with other guys before?" Kyle asks.

He really could have interrupted at any time, but that's the first question he went with. He feels like Eric's other confessions will hit him later, when he's alone and reeling from tonight's events.

Eric pulls back and snickers.

"Yeah." He arches an eyebrow. "What did you think I used to do before I met Yentl?"

"Oh..." Kyle whispers.

Eric raises his eyebrows, studying Kyle's face.

"Do you feel better now?"

Kyle nods, tugging at Eric's jacket to remove it. Eric sits up to help him, and once it's discarded on the floor, their lips connect again and they're soon kissing on their side.

"So what do you want to do now?" Eric whispers.

Kyle grumbles, shaking his head. His cock is rock hard.

"Anything... I don't care."

Eric swallows, and his nose brushes against Kyle's before their eyes meet.

"Want me to suck you off?"

Kyle's lips part, his cock twitches and if he knew Morse code he's sure his heart would be pounding 'yes! yes! yes!' He nods, and Eric grins, giddy and delighted, as he climbs off the bed. Kyle sits up, panting, and he notices his shirt is stuck to his sweaty back. He parts his legs and Eric shuffles forward on his knees. Kyle looks up at the ceiling, and quickly averts his gaze, stomach doing a loop-de-loop as he does. He doesn't get the appeal of looking at yourself while having sex, and he wants to be as far removed from reality as possible at the moment. He's not even going to try to wrap his head around the fact that Eric Cartman is about to suck him off.

He returns his gaze to Eric. His yarmulke is a little lopsided on his head and they snicker, bloated with nerves, as he fixes it. He then undoes Kyle's fly and pulls out his cock from his underwear. Eric's eyes widen and so does Kyle's. When he masturbates, his erections never look that big. Eric gulps, dabs his lips with his tongue, and that's all Kyle gets because as soon as Eric's lips close over his cock, he squeezes his eyes shut and gasps sharply. His head tips back, and he buries his fingers into the sheets as Eric sucks him off slowly. He gradually takes more of him, but keeps his hot hand at the base, brushing Kyle with his thumb in time with his indulgent sucks. Eric may be calm and collected, but Kyle is a quivering wreck. His mouth is stretched wide as he approaches his orgasm. His release is swelling inside him and he's afraid he's going to cry when he cums. Not just cry out but have actual tears running down his face.

" F-f-fuck!" Kyle cries, a lump in his throat as he cums down Eric's in three hard, heavy ropes. He can't open his eyes, can't shut his mouth, and his orgasm is drawn out for longer when Eric moans, muffled around his cock. " Unnh fuck..." he groans, body slouching a little but still trembling.

Eric swallows, and Kyle cracks an eye open when he can feel Eric's gaze on him. His eyes are dark, and twinkling, and he smirks as he wipes his mouth.

"Liked that, huh?"

Kyle shoots him a hazy, deadpan look, not in the mood for coyness.

"I just came down your throat of course I fucking liked it."

They snicker before Eric pushes Kyle back on the bed and climbs on top of him, kissing him again. But Kyle pushes Eric onto his side, and reaches for his zipper.

" Sh-shit..." he whispers, arching into Kyle's hand when Kyle pulls out his swollen cock. " Kyle..."

"Have you thought about this before?" Kyle asks as he begins to vigorously stroke him.

Eric nods desperately, eyes squeezed shut and head tipped back. Kyle can see his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

" All the time..." Eric whispers. "Don't stop, please don't stop..."

Kyle bites his lip, eyes trained on Eric's cock as he pumps at it faster and harder.

"Kyle..." Eric whimpers, hips twitching into his hand. "Kyle... Aaah!" he cries, broken as he cums in Kyle's hand. "Aaah, Kyle!"

His body deflates, almost curls into Kyle's side as he whimpers and nuzzles his neck. Kyle just stares at him, panting and still with Eric's cum coating his fingers. Not knowing what else to do, he sucks his fingers clean and Eric slowly lifts his head to stare in amazement. He shudders when Kyle is finished, swooping in to kiss him again.

Now that they've got each other off, reality is starting to return to Kyle. He brushes his nose against Eric's when they come up for air to signal that he wants to stop kissing.

"I should probably get going..." he whispers, trying to fight off that deflating feeling.

"Oh..." Eric whispers, nodding. "Oh, okay. Sure."

They sit up, both rumpled, sweaty, sticky, and hot. Eric climbs off the bed and doesn't look at Kyle as he reaches for the remote he abandoned on the floor. He presses a button and the music stops - Kyle had no idea music was still playing until silence returns to the room - and the lights return to full brightness. Kyle squints as he fixes his pants. He almost forgot that his dick was still out.

"You sure you're gonna be okay getting home?" Eric asks as he fixes his own pants.

"Yeah, totally," Kyle replies, getting to his feet. "I'll bring the car around, put it on self-drive, I'll be fine."

Eric nods, mouth clamped shut.

"This... " he sighs and steps closer to Kyle. "This wasn't just a one time thing, was it?"

Kyle blinks, lowering his head. Eric can't ask him questions like that right now, it isn't fair. Can't they just enjoy the moment and Kyle can think about it with some distance from the event? Still, he can't just leave Eric hanging.

"Um... no," Kyle whispers, not sure if that sounded right, although he doesn't know what the hell he wants, or what right even is. But he knows one thing for sure. "No, I'll call you." He smiles.

Eric smiles too, shoulders drooping.

"Alright."

Eric looks around the room and rubs his hands on his pants before he closes the gap between him and Kyle and kisses him again. It's a gentle, tentative kiss, but because Kyle doesn't know if he'll ever have Eric's lips on him again, he cradles his jaw and tilts his head to deepen it. Even now, it makes Kyle's knees a little wobbly.

"Thank you for an amazing night," Eric whispers when they part, earnest enough to make Kyle's heart clench.

He snickers shyly.

"Thank you. " He grins. "I had a lot of fun. The most fun I've had in a while, actually..."

Eric snickers and rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, no kidding."

Kyle snickers too, although he didn't just mean the sex, just hanging out with Eric again was so easy and fun. Whatever he decides to do, he doesn't want to lose that. He lost twenty years, and he's not losing another.

"Well... good night."

Eric nods.

"Good night, Kyle."

Kyle leaves, and the carpet of the CtPaTown complex might as well be made of clouds, as he's still reeling and satisfied when he steps outside. He's glad he can end the evening with a spring in his step too. He reaches for his phone, types the name of the apartment complex into his car's 'Find My Driver' app and waits for his car to make the slow, self-driven journey to the apartment. He stands with his arms folded, shivering occasionally but then he thinks of what just happened and it warms him up somewhat, has him grinning goofily at the sidewalk.

His car eventually arrives, and now that there is a driver in the car, the self-drive feature lets the car speed up a little bit as it takes Kyle home. His head thuds against the headrest and he admires the starry sky rolling past his window. The bad thoughts are already hammering at the barricade in the back of his head, but he wants to stew in the good thoughts for as long as he can.

Kyle doesn't sleep the night he and Eric hook up. Too soon those bad thoughts broke through the barricade, ransacked his brain, and took his ability to sleep hostage. What he did with Eric feels like it happened when Kyle was having an out-of-body experience, and in his head he views it from that split-second moment he glanced up at that mirrored ceiling. He feels an almost voyeuristic arousal when he remembers it, in disbelief that's him, and that's Eric, and they're doing that. Shame battles with arousal and leads Kyle to have a miserable, feverish half-sleep. He grumbles when recollections of Eric's hands and lips on him resurface in his mind, but languidly humps his mattress too because yeah, that might have been the most action he's had in a while but it was fucking good action.

He's not surprised when he wakes up with another huge hard-on and masturbates with Eric's goading words in his ear, wishing he was with him so he could put his mouth to better use. He's zombified during his sessions with his first two clients, hoping to look like he's listening intently rather than exhausted to explain his lack of talking. Still, when Bebe texts him asking if he wants to go for a walk in the park and fill her in on his date, he leaps at the chance, thinking some fresh air and Bebe's company will do him good.

Summers actually last longer than a month in South Park now, in fact, it's the winter that's getting shorter, and Kyle tucks his hands in his pockets as he enters the park. He soon sees Bebe, however, sitting on a bench and petting her King Schnauzer, Barney. She beams when she sees Kyle though, standing up and giving him a wave.

"Hi!"

Kyle grins, waving back.

His and Bebe's friendship is an unlikely one. They got paired up for a project Kyle can't even remember back in high school, and Bebe wanted to spend a lot more time with her partner and took the project way more seriously than their other classmates. Kyle didn't mind, he enjoyed Bebe's company and she enjoyed his. But one day she tried to kiss him and Kyle had apologised and said he wasn't into her... or girls, in general. She was the first person Kyle had come out to, and she swore to keep his secret safe with her, soon becoming one of Kyle's most treasured friends.

"Hey..." Kyle smiles when he's reached the bench. They try to hug but are blocked by Barney, jumping in between them and yapping.

"Easy, Barney!" Kyle chuckles, raising his hands. It doesn't placate Barney, who continues to yap and glare at him.

Bebe chuckles too, tucking some hair behind her ear and tugging at his leash.

"It's just Kyle, Barney! You know Kyle!" She huffs, and shakes her head. "Sorry. He's so jealous."

Kyle snickers.

"Anyway, how have you been?"

Although most flights around the world take about three hours at the most now, since Bebe became a pilot her and Kyle's schedules have been a little off-sync and they don't get to catch up as much as they would want to.

"Oh, I'm great, but I wanna hear all about your date with the hot rabbi!" Bebe grins, slipping her arm between the crook of Kyle's elbow as they walk. Barney trots along happily in front of them.

"God, you really thought he was going to be hot?" Kyle snickers. "You're more delusional than I am."

"Yeah, I thought he'd be like the hot priest in that show, Fleabag . Except, you know, not Catholic."

"I think there's a bed in Shady Acres with your name on it," Kyle teases. "Can you reference one TV show that has aired in the last two years?"

"No, because future TV is crap and I'm a jet-setting pilot! I don't have time for future TV. Anyway, enough deflecting, I wanna hear about your date!" She gives Kyle's arm an encouraging squeeze. "If I can't get entertainment from TV I can at least get it from my friends' love lives, so spill."

Kyle sighs. While walking to the park he rehearsed telling Bebe about what happened last night, but now she's in front of him, so excited, and oblivious, with her body pressed next to him, he's losing the nerve. He looks at Barney instead of her.

"Well, you're not gonna believe it..."

"Oh shit," Bebe says, detecting the flatness in Kyle's voice.

"So I turn up and I'm scanning the room for the mysterious rabbi..." He glances at Bebe's curious face, and sighs again. "And it's Cartman."

Bebe's face falls, but her eyebrows shoot up, almost disappearing under her mop of frizzy blond hair.

"Wh- you're serious?"

Kyle nods solemnly, exhaling through his nose.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Oh my god..." Bebe gasps, averting her gaze from Kyle and shaking her head as she tries to make sense of this. "I mean, I knew he and his wife were separating, I saw it on Facebook Meta Super Plus but I didn't know he was dating. .. men!" She turns her head towards Kyle, curious. " So what did you do? Did you leave?"

The nape of his neck flushes like a million suns are beating down on him. They're getting closer and closer to the part of the story he doesn't know he can even say out loud.

"Yeah, I wanted to slip out without him noticing but he saw me and I stormed out anyway and he followed me to the parking lot."

"Shit."

"And then he told me about him and Yentl... my mom's friend Maureen goes to his temple, that's how this all got started. She showed him my picture, and he wanted to reconnect with me so... he went through with the blind date."

Bebe shakes her head again slowly as the pieces come together, before she snorts and brushes her hair out of her face.

"He does know that there are a million ways to get in touch with people you haven't talked to in years, right? Ways that are not so convoluted and insane?"

Kyle snorts, rolling his eyes.

"Please, it's Cartman. He doesn't know any other way. I was pissed but..." a smile spreads across his face before he can stop it. "Well, you know how much this sudden change in him has rubbed me up the wrong way, so it was kind of... nice? To know he's still pulling that kind of shit, you know?"

Bebe sighs, shooting Kyle a wry smile.

"Hon, I don't pretend to know. So what happened then?"

Kyle rubs the nape of his neck.

"Well, he kept apologising and said that he would understand if I wanted to leave, but the table was booked and we were both there, so we might as well catch up, so we did..."

"Oh..." Bebe nods, blinking. "Oh, well, definitely not how I expected your first date in five years to go, but it sounds like it wasn't a total bust." She shoots Kyle another smile, this time optimistic. "You've been wanting to reconnect with him for a while so at least you got that chance?" she shrugs.

"Yeah." Kyle nods weakly, trying to convince himself, but mostly trying to convince Bebe that there is nothing more to the story. It's too much for one walk in the park. He clears his throat and nods more resolutely. "Yeah, exactly, I'm looking on the bright side."

"And there are always other dates." She gives Kyle a playful nudge. "I'm sure there are plenty of hot rabbis out there."

Kyle's stomach lurches into his throat at the thought that there may be other dates, and maybe even some hot rabbis, but it's Eric he can't stop thinking about.

"Uh-huh."

They thankfully don't talk anymore about the date or Eric for the rest of the walk. Instead, they talk about Bebe's upcoming flights, and Kyle's parents, and town gossip, and Kyle plays fetch with Barney, before he heads back home.

He has half an hour until his next appointment so decides to make a quick lunch. He hasn't got much of an appetite, but he thinks that the best way to get Eric out of his mind is to ignore his body's signals... or see him again, and heed to one very particular, powerful signal. But it's too soon to see Eric again, when he has no idea what he wants and he feels so awkward, and... weak.

He cuts the sandwich he's made for himself and sighs. He has to tell Bebe, because clearly negotiating with his neuroses isn't productive. He picks up his phone, stomach once again lodged in his throat and his hands are suddenly sweaty, palms prickling.

He finds Bebe's name and presses the 'hologram call' option. It's a new update that came in on his phone recently and that he's still getting the hang of, but he wants to keep trying it. Kyle places the phone on the counter, and it rings for a few seconds. It seems like she's not there and, dismayed, Kyle almost hangs up before a wiggly blue hologram appears.

Kyle blinks, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Hello? Bebe?"

The hologram wiggles some more, and seems to dissolve a little. Kyle tries to hang up, but the screen is frozen.

"God damn it..." he mutters, jabbing impotently at the screen. "It's the fucking future you'd think they would have perfected this technology by now."

"Hello?" Bebe's voice crackles through and the hologram wiggles a little before Bebe's picture becomes clear and still. "Kyle?"

"Oh, hey, sorry I was just... commentating."

Bebe chuckles.

"Do you normally commentate when you're home alone?"

Kyle chuckles softly too, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"What's up?" Bebe asks.

Kyle takes a shaky breath and his eyes roam the counter.

"Um..." he rubs his lips before returning his gaze to Bebe's patient face. "About last night. I skipped some parts."

Bebe blinks.

"Oh, like what?"

Kyle takes another deep breath, steadier now.

"So... when we were having dinner, Cartman told me that he was staying at Kenny's apartment in CtPaTown." He rolls his eyes. "He was telling me it had all these sleazy features like mirrored ceilings, and a revolving bed-"

"You don't think the revolving bed is kind of cool?"

Kyle blinks, lips parting.

"Wh- you've been there?"

Bebe huffs, folds her arms.

"Kyle, of course I've been there. But that's not the point. Continue."

That's true. Kyle nods appreciatively.

"Anyway, I had to see it for myself, so we went back there and Cartman is showing me all this stuff and then... the lights go down, and he draws these black-out curtains and music starts playing, and out of nowhere, he..." he takes another deep breath because his mouth is dry and his heart is racing, and he needs to chill out. It's like he's back there again, with Eric's intense eyes on him. "He told me that he's crazy about me, and he can't stop thinking about me, and that..." he gulps, trying to ward off his discomfort. "Th-that I'm the most gorgeous man he's ever met." His cheeks burn as soon as he says it and he slumps, rolling his eyes. "Ugh, it's so embarrassing-"

Kyle cuts himself off by burying his hot face in his hands.

"Kyle, tell me you didn't."

Kyle peeks through his fingers and sees Bebe's wary expression. He nods, sliding his hands away from his face.

"I did," he replies gravely. "We did. We... fooled around."

"Oh my god..." Bebe whispers. She shakes her head, grips her hair with both hands. "S-s-sorry, I just... oh my god , Kyle!"

"I know!" Kyle cries, rolling his eyes to the ceiling before burying his face in his hands again. The reality of the situation is bearing down on him and he wants to hide from it. "I know, what the fuck is wrong with me?" He moves his hands up into his hair. "He's not my type at all! He speaks with his mouth full, and he has this turned up nose, and his glasses don't flatter him at all, and..." he grimaces. "It's Cartman! I fucking fooled around with Cartman! I..." he braces himself on the counter. "This is rock bottom, right?" he asks, voice cracking a little. "There's no coming back from this."

"Okay, okay, slow down! It's not rock bottom and it's not the end of the world. That's dating, you know, you have a lapse in judgement, and you hook up with someone who you would never go for, and it's embarrassing but... you move on." She nods, forcing optimism. "Trust me, Kyle, you can come back from bad sex."

Kyle chews his lip, his eyes slipping shut and sighing through his nose again as another sobering realisation sets in. Yes, Eric may not be the guy Kyle would usually go for, and he has mannerisms that are off-putting to say the least... but all that melted away when they were fooling around, when Eric was touching him, and had his hands on him. When everything else was stripped away, he was just goading, overpowering, intense Cartman again. So not only does Kyle have to contend with the embarrassing, confusing feelings of hooking up with Eric, but he now has to contend with the even more disconcerting notion that being with Eric felt  so inexplicably right, and how long has that feeling lay dormant in his system?

"But that's the thing..." he opens his eyes. "It was amazing. It was so exciting and passionate, and when he had his hands on me, and was kissing me, and..." he rolls his eyes to the ceiling, heart fluttering in his chest. "God, when his mouth was on my..." he clamps his mouth shut when he realises Bebe is smirking at him. He clears his throat. "Fuck, sorry, I got carried away."

Bebe snickers and shakes her head.

"Not at all. I was enthralled, for what it's worth."

Kyle snickers too, shyly.

"Anyway, it was incredible... and fun!" his shoulders droop. "We had so much fun."

"So what's the problem?"

"I don't really know how to move forward now. I don't wanna date him. He's going through a divorce, and with his kids... it would get too complicated. Plus, he's definitely not my type..." he runs a flustered hand over his face. "But I don't want to lose his friendship again, and now I don't want to lose this either. The fooling around. Cartman asked if it was a one time thing and because I didn't know what to say and I wanna do it again I said that it wasn't a one time thing, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea-"

"That's easy, when you see him, make it all about sex," Bebe interjects firmly. "Don't be romantic, don't go out to dinner. Just go to each other's places and go straight to the bedroom when you get there, and no sleepovers! You just have to say to him 'fuck me and get out.'"

Kyle wrinkles his nose. He's never spoken like that to anyone.

"That's pretty harsh."

"No, it's hot. Besides, when did you care so much about Cartman's feelings?"

Kyle huffs.

"Well, he is my friend! And he's different now. Plus, he clearly has feelings for me so I don't want to lead him on."

"I know, honey," Bebe replies softly. "But if you're clear about what you want then you both know where you stand. If he's that crazy about you I'm sure he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to have no-strings-attached sex with you... and you get yourself back out there! You are handsome, and smart, and funny, and an amazing person and any guy would be lucky to have you. Go get some with Cartman and continue your search for someone you actually want to be seen in public with."

Kyle flushes, lowering his head as he chuckles softly. Bebe's right. They're both adults, they can be clear about what they want. So why should Kyle even deny himself what he wants?

"Alright..." he nods slowly. "Alright, I will." He smiles. "Thanks, Bebe."

Bebe beams back.

"No problem. I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure." Kyle nods. "Bye."

Now that he's told Bebe about his and Eric's hook up he feels like a huge weight has been lifted. His stomach is now back where it should be. He finishes his sandwich quickly so he's not late for his appointment, and that evening he texts Eric to check when he's free to hang out again.

Two weeks later, Kyle thinks he may have this friends-with-benefits thing down. He and Eric hook up whenever they can, always at Kenny's place and never at Kyle's. Bebe didn't specify sticking to Kenny's place only in her advice, but Kyle is drawing up as many boundaries as he can. The second time they hooked up, Kyle made it clear that he isn't looking for a relationship, there is no exclusivity, and that he just wants to hang out with Eric and fool around with him occasionally.

As Bebe predicted, Eric was all over the suggestion, although Kyle couldn't help but worry that Eric was just agreeing so readily because doing this with Kyle was better than nothing, and maybe he was holding out hope that this relationship would evolve into more. Kyle can't say for sure, but right now and into the foreseeable future he's having a lot of fun with Eric, and that's all he wants. He's actually installed a couple of dating apps too. Admittedly, hanging out with Eric, ordering take-out from kosher restaurants that Kyle never even knew existed, laughing and joking and knowing the evening is going to end with him getting a blowjob or a handjob is a lot more fun than swiping left or right on Tinder Premium Deluxe and making pleasant, slightly anxious conversation with strangers. But Kyle thinks that maybe this part of the dating process isn't meant to be the fun part. It's, you know, the dates themselves that are the most enjoyable, theoretically.

Well, that he's going to find out tonight, as he has a date with a guy he's been chatting to on Tinder Premium Deluxe named Derek. He's an intern at a PR firm, conventionally attractive with sandy blond hair and sun-kissed skin, and he takes care of himself. Kyle honestly thought he might have been reaching, but Derek seems enthusiastic. Conversation so far hasn't been scintillating, but Kyle is hoping that will change once they actually meet face-to-face. Right now though, he's sat on one of those shiny leather couches at Kenny's place, head tipped back, eyebrows knitted and hips twitching into Eric's mouth.

" Unnh... f-f-fuck..." Kyle groans as he sinks his fingers into a scatter cushion, body stiffening and hips lifting off the couch slightly as he cums. "Aaah fuck!"

Eric makes the usual surprised, satisfied noise he always does when Kyle cums down his throat. Kyle slumps into the couch cushions, gathering his breaths when Eric pulls back. When Kyle cracks an eye open, he sees Eric smiling at him, on his knees. He wipes his mouth, but it does nothing to erase his self-satisfied grin.

"That was awesome," Kyle says breathlessly, grinning too. "Thank you."

Eric snickers and shakes his head.

"You don't have to keep thanking me."

Kyle shuffles forward, grabbing two fistfuls of Eric's shirt and bringing their hot, flushed mouths together, kissing him deeply. The kiss comes to an end with a small smack of lips.

"I just never know what to say," Kyle murmurs truthfully.

Eric brushes his nose against Kyle's.

"You don't have to say anything," he murmurs, giving Kyle's lips a small peck. "Just keep doing that."

Kyle chuckles bashfully before they kiss again, tongues brushing together.

"So what do you want to do now?" Eric asks.

He asks that question a lot, and he asked it the first time he and Kyle hooked up. Kyle's answer hasn't changed from that first night, but he daren't say "anything, I don't care." He could afford to be reckless that first night, but now that lines have been drawn and boundaries set, he has to be careful.

Eric takes Kyle's silence as an invitation to kiss his jaw and neck. Kyle's lips part as he gasps, loosening his grip on Eric's shirt but still stroking his chest as he nips and sucks at his neck.

"I could fuck you so good you'd forget your own name," Eric murmurs, gravelly, in his ear.

Kyle blinks, and tries to disguise his eager gulp but that only makes it more noticeable. This isn't the first time Eric has told him that, or expressed a desire to fuck Kyle. Honestly, anal sex is low on Kyle's list of favourite bedroom activities, but Eric is so confident that he could give Kyle a transcendent experience that Kyle can't help but fantasise about what that might be like. But for now, it's just that. A fantasy. Kyle might change his mind one day, but what they have now is a delicate balance. He doesn't want anything to wreck that, so he has to divert Eric's attention away from such talk. Besides, he has a perfect excuse today.

"Well, we'll have to find that out another time because I have to go," Kyle replies, pushing Eric away from him gently and not looking at him as he gets to his feet and fixes his pants.

Eric follows him, rubbing his hands on his pants.

"Oh, do you have a hot date?" he teases.

Kyle coughs into his fist, still averting his gaze.

"Actually yeah, I do..."

Eric blinks, nodding slowly.

"Oh..." he whispers, before clearing his throat. "Oh cool. Who's the lucky guy?"

"His name is Derek."

Eric's eyes sparkle, and he arches an eyebrow.

"Derek?"

Kyle frowns, before he realises the similarity. Shit. That honestly never occurred to him. He tilts his chin and pulls his shoulders back, feigning the ignorance he once had.

"Yes. Derek."

Eric's mouth scrunches up and he nods slowly again.

"Sounds great... do you have a picture?"

"Yeah, sure," Kyle replies, reaching for his phone and opening Tinder Premium Deluxe.

He gets Derek's picture up and practically shoves his phone in Eric's face. Eric studies the picture, blinking.

"Wow, he looks... young."

The tips of Kyle's ears burn and he rolls his eyes.

"He's thirty five."

Eric snorts.

"Damn, never had you pegged as a cradle robber."

Kyle huffs and rolls his eyes again.

"I'm hardly a cradle robber!"

"We were freshmen in high school when he was born," Eric points out.

Kyle doesn't acknowledge that, just scowls and shoves his phone in his pocket.

"Anyway how about you?" he asks. "Have you been talking to anybody? Anybody you're interested in?"

Eric blinks, eyebrows twitching and he nods vigorously.

"Oh yeah..." he pulls his shoulders back too. "Yeah, a few actually."

Kyle doesn't know if he believes him, but he'll play along.

"Awesome." He nods. "Do you have any plans tonight?"

"Huh? Oh no, just preparing the derasha for Shabbat service."

Kyle purses his lips to stop himself smirking at the thought. He doesn't think that what Eric does is funny, but the thought of him doing all the things that rabbis do is surreal, and he doesn't really know how to respond.

"What?" Eric asks.

Kyle shakes his head. Clearly, he didn't disguise his smirk that well. According to Eric, he doesn't disguise his feelings well at all.

"Nothing, I just..." a grin spreads helplessly across his face. "Can't wrap my head around you in temple. Standing at the Bimah and reading from the Torah."

Eric smiles shyly.

"Well, why don't you come one day?"

Kyle blinks, standing up straight to prevent another boundary from being crossed.

"Oh... oh, maybe." He shrugs uneasily. "I haven't been to temple in a while. Thank you though."

Eric sighs.

"No problem."

Thankfully, he doesn't sound too deflated.

"So hey, do you wanna do something tomorrow?"

Eric shakes his head, frowning apologetically.

"Sorry, I can't tomorrow. I'm seeing the kids."

"Oh, that's great. Do you have any plans with them?"

"No, probably just going to take them out to dinner."

Kyle nods, before he meets Eric's eyes and his eyebrows draw together.

"Do you miss them?"

Eric sighs.

"Like hell," he admits, before shrugging. "But I see them a couple of times a week and I speak to them every day."

"Oh well, that's good."

"Yeah..."

Kyle presses his lips tightly together and his gaze wanders the room, searching for something else to say when he really should leave.

"Well, listen, I really have to get going," he says, already backing away from Eric and heading to the door.

"Okay." Eric nods.

Kyle has already turned his back when he adds:

"Have fun with Derek."

The name is like a scorch mark on the nape of his neck. Kyle turns around to glare at Eric, who doesn't falter. No, in that typical Cartman way he faces Kyle's anger coolly, tilting his chin and smirking.

"Quit saying his name like that! And I intend to have a lot of fun with him, thank you very much!"

Kyle quickly turns back around and storms out of the apartment, and he swears that before he spun back around, Eric's smirk wobbled.

Kyle can't get that wobbly smirk out of his head all evening, fearing that maybe this perfect balance he and Eric have achieved is tipping already, that he's flying too close to the sun. Or at least, that's what he's telling himself has him so distracted on this date with the very dull Derek. They didn't talk at all as they ate, not even between mouthfuls. It meant that Kyle got to enjoy his lovely meal in peace, but that's not really what you want on a first date. Kyle was hoping the sparks would fly when they were face to face, when they could laugh at each other's jokes, and steal glances of each other across the table. But alas, no sparks.

Still, Kyle waits for his ride with him. He offered to drop him off, but Derek insisted Kyle not go out of his way.

"Thanks for waiting for my Uber with me." Derek smiles, as they stand at the street entrance to the restaurant.

Kyle smiles back, tucking his hands into his pockets.

"No problem."

"The food was great, wasn't it?"

Kyle keeps his smile fixed on his face, and nods.

"Yeah, it was really nice."

Derek gets a notification on his phone and a car pulls up.

"This is me..." he says, with a thin chuckle.

Kyle makes a soft, amused hum, as Derek opens the door.

"Good night. It was great to meet you."

Derek flashes him a grin.

"Good night," he replies, before tilting his head and smashing his lips against Kyle's.

Kyle's eyes widen and he makes a muffled, surprise whimper. He kisses back mechanically, eyes slipping shut. It's a good kiss. Derek's lips are soft, and his breath tastes fine, and he applies the right amount of pressure, but again, Kyle's responses are mechanic, automatic. They pale in comparison to Eric's eager kisses that set Kyle alight.

Derek's eyes roam Kyle's face contemplatively when he pulls back.

"Sure you don't wanna come back with me?"

Kyle smiles tightly, but shakes his head.

"No thanks, I'd better not. Especially if your roommate is there."

Derek blinks.

"Oh, it's cool he wouldn't mind." He grins. "He joins in sometimes."

Kyle hopes his eyes don't widen too much so he doesn't come off as a prude. He scrunches his face up like he's actually deliberating the offer. He shrugs, before shaking his head.

"Yeah, that's not really for me. Thank you though."

Derek smiles.

"No problem. Good night, Kyle."

"Good night..." Kyle says softly, as Derek slips into the car.

He watches the car drive off, before sighing and rubbing his hands over his face when it turns a corner.

"Jesus Christ..." he mutters as he heads to his own car feeling a little deflated.

But that deflated feeling only lasts for a second as thoughts of Derek are quickly pushed away for thoughts of Eric. Tonight was demoralising and deflating, and Kyle knows he'll probably go on more dud dates than exciting ones, but does he really want it that badly? That was fine when he was in his twenties and thirties, when he had the energy and optimism, but it just exhausts him now. Putting up these boundaries with Eric is exhausting too, because really maintaining these boundaries is just fighting what he really wants. Why should he run the clock out on dates with strangers when he could be spending time with somebody whose company he enjoys, and who makes him feel more alive than he has in years? Someone who actually really fucking adores him? He thinks of Eric and his heart flutters, his insides feel hot, and he smiles without thinking about it. He's doing this.

When he gets in his car, he brings up his contacts on the dashboard screen. He finds Eric's name and hits the holographic call option. He doesn't drive off as he waits for Eric to answer. The sound of Kyle's heartbeat fills the car, every breath is catching in his throat.

Kyle flinches when Eric answers, his confused hologram floating above the screen like a ghost.

"Kyle?"

Kyle takes a deep breath.

"Hey, sorry it's a little late."

"It's alright. What's up? How did your date go?"

Kyle sighs.

"It kinda blew. I was just..." he swallows hard and starts again. His mouth is way too dry. "I was just wondering, um... if I could come over?"

Eric blinks, nodding readily.

"Yeah," he replies, just above a whisper before he clears his throat. "Yeah, sure, that would be great."

Kyle bites his lip, a grin drying to spread across his face. He takes a small, relieved breath.

"Okay. I'll see you soon. Bye."

Kyle hangs up and grins for the whole short drive, his cheeks aching by the time he reaches the apartment. When he reaches Kenny's floor, he marches to the door purposefully, eager to put his plan in motion. His plan is to smash his lips against Eric's as soon as he opens the door, and shove him towards the bed. Kyle is vibrating with anticipation when he reaches the front door, giving it three hard knocks.

Eric soon answers the door, and before Kyle can crash their lips together his attention is drawn to the frog-covered pyjamas Eric is wearing. It throws Kyle off completely.

He raises his eyebrows and smiles.

"What's with the pyjamas?"

Eric looks down and chuckles shyly, before folding his arms tightly across his chest.

"The kids bought them for me. Hanukkah present. Anyway, come in," he says, standing aside.

Kyle brushes past him, staring out at the nocturnal lights of CtPaTown and stroking his beard as he regroups and thinks of a new plan.

"So your date didn't go so well, huh?"

Kyle turns around to see Eric closing the gap between them. When he stops they're still about a foot or two apart.

"No." Kyle sighs. "He was boring and I felt awkward the whole time."

"Oh, that sucks," Eric replies, but doesn't sound too displeased for him.

"He did ask me back to his place though."

Eric's eyebrows shoot up.

"Woah." He chuckles.

Kyle rolls his eyes, embarrassed.

"I guess I still got it..." he chuckles.

Eric rakes his gaze over him, smiling.

"Well, I could have told you that." He steps closer, before shrugging. "Still, I gotta hand it to the guy for trying..."

"And he implied that we would have a threesome with his roommate."

"Okay, I take it back. The guy's a prick."

Kyle wraps his arms around himself, shoulders drawing up.

"I wouldn't say that. It's just not my thing."

Eric's eyebrows twitch.

"No?"

"No." Kyle's eyes wander the floor, trying to be coy but also psyching himself up for what he's about to say. "I think my thing is..." he meets Eric's gaze. "Being fucked until I can't remember my own name."

Eric studies Kyle's face, like he actually has to figure out what he means. But his eyes widen and his jaw drops a little when it hits him.

"You're... y-y-you're seriously?" he asks, voice threadbare as he gets closer. "This is happening?"

Kyle nods, mouth heavy. His palms are prickling with sweat and he's trembling already.

Eric studies his face again, this time hazy and contemplative.

"Say it," he demands, low and ragged.

Kyle's eyebrows furrow and his shoulders draw up again.

"Fuck me?"

Eric nods, chewing his lip. He's right in front of Kyle now.

"Yeah, that's it," he whispers, hands finding Kyle's waist and pulling him closer to place soft kisses on his neck. His lips brush against Kyle's skin and his hot exhale makes him shiver. "Again."

Kyle's eyes slip shut and a shaky gasp leaves his lips. He unwraps his arms around himself and instead places them on Eric's shoulders, stroking his arms.

"Fuck me..." he whispers, as Eric places balmy, open-mouthed kisses on his neck, nudging Kyle with his nose so his head tips back and he has more access. "Fuck me, Eric..."

Eric shudders, smiling against Kyle's neck.

"I've imagined you saying that so many times but it's never sounded as good as this." Kiss. "More... keep going..."

Kyle groans, digging his fingers into Eric's arms.

"I want you to fuck me, Eric. I want to..." he shakes a little as he thinks of how to embellish his request. "Rip off your pyjamas, and be fucked into the mattress! I..." he moans. "I-I want you to fuck me until I scream!"

Eric finally pulls back, and his pupils are massive, casting his golden eyes in a caramel shadow. Kyle doesn't have time to look into his eyes for long, as Eric is the one to smash their lips together, faces squished together as they kiss deeply. Their tongues grapple, and the ridges of their teeth graze at each other's lips as they kiss frantically. Eric shoves Kyle onto the bed, still kissing him as he fumbles to undo his belt. Once his belt is undone he reaches for Kyle's pants, finally relinquishing Kyle's lips to unzip his fly. Kyle's eyebrows are knitted together and he prods at his lip with his tongue as he awkwardly kicks his shoes off his feet.

With shaky hands, Eric roughly pulls Kyle's pants and underwear down, and Kyle flails his legs again as he clumsily tries to kick them off. Eric resumes kissing Kyle, and Kyle's jaw aches as he tries to keep up with the relentless, deep kisses but he couldn't pull away even if he wanted to. Eric manages to tear his lips away from Kyle's again to unbutton his shirt, nuzzling Kyle as he does so. When each button is undone, Kyle sits up to help Eric pull his shirt from his shoulders, and when he leans back on his elbows he realises he's completely naked. Eric pulls back a little, eyes wide and shining, staring at Kyle like he's a work of Michelangelo's or something. His mouth is small and he gulps audibly. Kyle rakes his own gaze over Eric and pauses at the very obvious boner in Eric's pyjama bottoms. You can't hide anything in those.

Kyle grins, biting his lip and tugging Eric closer, wanting to make good of his promise of ripping his pyjamas off. Although, if they're from Eric's kids he doesn't want to damage them. Eric takes his slightly foggy glasses off before Kyle smashes their lips together, and Kyle tongues at Eric's mouth as he pulls his bottoms down to his knees, before moving onto his shirt. He pops open each button as fast as he can, but he soon gets impatient when Eric is not as disrobed as he would like him to be, so he growls and tugs at the last three buttons. His shirt rips open and he swears he saw a button flying through the air. Panic lurches inside him.

"Shit!" he exclaims. "Shit, I'm so sorry!"

Eric chuckles.

"It's okay..."

Kyle frowns, stroking his bare, soft chest.

"No, your kids got you those pyjamas." He hangs his head a little. "I'm so sorry-"

Eric cups his chin and tilts it up.

"It's fine, I'll look for it tomorrow and sew it back on."

Kyle's guilt dissolves, replaced by puzzled amusement. He smirks and arches an eyebrow.

"You sew?"

Eric sighs, smiling. Colour rushes to his cheeks.

"Is this really what you want to be talking about right now?"

Kyle glances at Eric's hard cock and shakes his head.

"No..."

They giggle, lips and bodies connecting, and Eric wriggles out of his pyjama bottoms as he climbs on the bed. Kyle gasps when Eric lifts his legs back as far as they can go, so his calves dangle over his shoulders. Eric shifts so their cocks are pressed flush together, and Kyle gasps, chased by a long moan, when Eric starts to rut against him. Kyle rakes his fingers down Eric's chest, leaving pink streaks that vanish as soon as they appear.

It's a sweaty blur of hands and lips that makes all of Kyle's nerves melt away when Eric reaches for lube to prep him, but not before coating Kyle's cock in a generous amount first, stroking him slowly.

Fifteen minutes later, Kyle is on his hands and knees - or rather, elbows and knees - hugging a pillow and being fucked into the mattress, fast, hard and deep. The mattress squeaks in one ear, while Eric's groans and pants rain into his other ear. His thick fingers are digging into Kyle's hips, and although Kyle's legs are seriously trembling he still tries his best to meet Eric's thrusts, fucking himself on his chubby cock. It's not huge and in fact, Kyle's is bigger, but he uses it fucking well, and it's more than enough to have Kyle muffling his cries and moans into the pillow.

" F-f-fuck... " Eric groans. "You feel fucking amazing, Kyle. Oh god . You love my fucking cock, huh?"

Kyle nods, and makes a muffled moan of agreement. The dirty talk helps too.

"What was that?" Eric asks, strained, picking up his pace a little.

Kyle yelps and cries out.

" Yes! Yes, I love it..." his eyes squeeze shut as his mouth drops open. " Unnh just don't stop please..." he moans, before burying his head in the pillow.

Eric snickers, low and gravelly.

" Fuck yeah..." After a couple more thrusts, Eric murmurs: "I'm so close..."

So is Kyle. His balls are heavy and pre-cum trickles out of the head of his cock. Eric brings his thrusts to a slow stop. He probably thinks Kyle won't notice, but he certainly does. He groans, frowning as he looks over his shoulder at Eric.

"Wh- why did you stop?"

Eric is flushed and panting, and a grin spreads across his face. He chuckles.

"Easy, eager, I just wanna try something..." he leans forward, so he can speak as close to Kyle's ear as possible. "So I can better hear you crying out when you cum."

Kyle gulps, before wincing and seething when Eric awkwardly stretches over him to reach for the pillow Kyle is clutching. Kyle's head hits the mattress with a huff when Eric pulls it out from under him, and instead places it under his hips.

Kyle has to admit that it's more comfortable to be elevated like this, with his cock pressed against the pillow. Eric drapes his body over Kyle, and Kyle gasps, mouth dropping open because it feels like so much more of Eric is inside him now, even though he was buried deep inside him already. He gasps louder, laced with a cry when Eric starts thrusting into him again. Kyle feels his thrusts everywhere and he melts, cheek squished against the mattress.

"How's that feel?" Eric asks, voice hot in his ear. His chest heaves against Kyle's back, but he doesn't feel heavy. No, his body just feels warm, and plush, and-

"Good..." Kyle pants, eyes slipping shut. He moans. "So good, Eric..."

Eric takes that as his cue to resume his hard, fast thrusts. Kyle's cock rubbing against the pillow and the extra friction makes them feel even better. Kyle's had good sex before, although those are distant memories now, but this is different. Sex has never affected his whole body like this, he's never felt so much at the mercy of anyone, and he doesn't care what sounds he makes, or what he looks like, or anything. He just feels so good.

Eric is panting and groaning in his ear with every thrust.

"I wanna hear you scream, baby," he murmurs. "Don't hold back."

Eric's thrusts are shorter, but harder than ever, driving loud, anguished cries from Kyle's throat. He can't fuck himself on Eric's cock, but has no problem being mercilessly pounded. He can feel Eric's heart hammering at his chest, and his humid breath behind Kyle's ear raises the hairs on the nape of his neck.

"Y-y-yeah, that's it... take it..." he kisses behind Kyle's ear. "It's just you and me, Kyle. Nobody else knows how this feels except you and me..."

" Unnh-huh..." Kyle groans, cheek squished and a puddle of drool forming underneath him. His body draws tighter, and he humps his pillow when he feels his orgasm approaching. " Aaah... aaah, Eric! " he cries. "Eric, I'm, I-I-I'm- aaah!"

Kyle is sobbing when he cums, head swimming and stars exploding in his eyes. He gasps when he spurts five, heavy ropes of cum onto the pillow. He feels totally drained when he's done, shaking his head into the mattress despite the now cold patch of drool under his cheek.

Eric gasps too, whining in Kyle's ear as he fucks him faster before he soon cums too.

" F-f-fuck!" he cries, cock twitching violently inside Kyle as his thrusts slow down. " Fuck yes..."

He moans in the aftermath, body deflating on top of Kyle as he stews in his orgasm. Kyle does the same, breathing a long, contented sigh and smiling goofily. He's even started drooling again but he doesn't care. Eric shifts just a little so he can nuzzle at Kyle's neck and kiss his shoulders, making soft, contented sounds like Kyle is a sumptuous meal he's very much enjoying sampling. But Eric soon starts to feel heavy on him, so Kyle grunts as he gives him a nudge.

"Okay, get off me now..."

"Shit, sorry..." Eric replies, before rolling off him.

Kyle's back feels warm and prickly with sweat. He grumbles when Eric quickly gets under the covers, even if it means tugging at the sheets hard enough to tip Kyle off the bed. Kyle reaches between his body to pull the soiled pillow out from under him, grimacing as he discards it on the floor. He flops back onto the mattress and sighs, still panting heavily. He stares at the ceiling, forgetting that it's mirrored and he's confronted by the reflection of his naked body. Flushed, glistening with sweat, and totally spent. Further inspection reveals that Eric is turned on his side, hand tucked under his head and staring at Kyle intently. Kyle frowns, gaze sliding to Eric who quickly lies on his back and fixes his gaze on the ceiling too. He clears his throat.

"S-s-sorry, I was staring."

Kyle snickers, head turned toward Eric.

"Yeah, you were."

Eric turns his head to look at him too, with a sheepish grin.

"Can you fucking blame me though?" He sighs and looks at the ceiling again. " Du bist azoy sheyn..." he mutters.

Kyle freezes, although his heart is fluttering so fast he feels like it could fly out of his mouth. He sits up on his elbows, smiling in disbelief and raking his gaze over Eric, wishing he would look at him now. His mind is whirring with what Eric just said, but all he can think to ask is:

"You speak Yiddish?"

Eric turns to look at him like he was in a daze, like he forgot Kyle was even there.

"A little." He smiles before his face falls and he shrinks under the covers. "Wait, you understood that?"

A grin stretches across Kyle's face and he chuckles warmly. He recognised one word. A word his grandmother used to say and his mom uses sometimes too.

"I caught 'beautiful.'"

Eric returns Kyle's grin, and it lights up his whole face. Kyle is sure Eric could say the same about his grin right now. His cheeks are aching, his nose is stinging, his eyes are burning. His insides feel warm again, but not with hunger, or excitement, or arousal, they just feel warmed by Eric's presence. His insides turn into soft mush when it finally sets in that Eric isn't just what he wants. He's what he needs. Types, and looks, and history are irrelevant next to the warmth Kyle feels whenever he's with him, and he wants to bask in it for as long as he can.

He slips under the covers, and it's warm and toasty under there already. He shuffles closer to Eric, and gently brushes their lips together. Eric returns the kiss, applying gentle pressure, and their lips don't separate as Kyle climbs on top of him. Eric's hand finds the nape of Kyle's neck, and he moves his hand up into his hair when Kyle tilts his head to deepen the kiss.

"Thank you..." Kyle whispers in between kisses.

Eric snickers, face warm and pinked.

"Believe me, it was my pleasure." He smiles, before they kiss again. "So..." he shifts beneath Kyle before grinning playfully. "What's your name?"

Kyle chuckles before tilting his head to the side and scrunching his face up, pretending to think.

"I don't remember," he whispers, eyes lidded as he kisses Eric again.

A lazy grin stretches across Eric's face.

"It's Kyle."

Kyle closes his eyes and sighs.

"Mmm. Tell me again."

"Kyle..." Eric whispers into his mouth.

Kyle kisses him just a little bit harder, taking Eric's lower lip between his teeth and tugging at it before they part.

"Again..." he murmurs, languidly thrusting against Eric.

Eric whimpers, shifting underneath him and tipping his head back.

" Kyle..." he moans as Kyle kisses his jaw. " Kyle..."

They continue like that for a while, tongues brushing together and sharing breath as they languidly dry hump. The gentle activity steadies Kyle as he gears himself up to obliterate all his boundaries, and make this an exclusive thing.

"So, um..." he whispers, trying to be as casual as possible. "I think I'm gonna give the dating apps a break for a while..."

"Yeah?" Eric asks, eyes lidded and trained on his lips before he kisses him again.

Kyle nods into the kiss.

"Yeah," he exhales shakily when they part. "I'm kinda over it. And those guys you're talking to could you maybe... not?" he winces. "Anymore?"

He cringes at how jumbled that sentence sounded, but he doesn't care when their bodies thrum with giggles together.

"Sure," Eric whispers, smiling in a way that confirms what Kyle was almost certain of, that there were no other guys.

They kiss and they kiss and they kiss, and Kyle forgets to go home.

Another two weeks go by, and Kyle can't believe that Eric has been back in his life -properly back in his life, intense, awkward encounters at Christmas parties don't count - for a month. Kyle is used to the feeling of time falling away beneath his feet, one of the perks of aging, but this month has felt like a whirlwind. Lows, unexpected twists, and glorious highs. Right now, he feels like he's floating, trying not to stare down at the earth below and trusting that his and Eric's fledgling relationship can handle some turbulence. It's early days yet, but Kyle is cautiously optimistic.

Professionally, however, Kyle is in a bit of a rough patch. One of his clients who he had been sensing some strain with for a while, announced that today would be their last session with Kyle. They thanked him for everything Kyle had done for them, but didn't think it was working anymore. Kyle had nodded, been supportive as he should be, but the sinking feeling since their call ended hasn't shifted all day.

He's glad he's just talked to his last client of the day. Their face disappears from his screen and he groans, flopping back in his chair and rubbing his hands over his face. He then hears his phone buzzing against the table. Peeking out from behind his hands he sees that Eric is calling him. Despite his despondency, he smiles.

"Hey..." Kyle says, when Eric's fuzzy blue hologram appears in front of him.

"Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to do something tonight?"

Kyle's shoulders fall.

"Oh... oh, I'm not really in the mood. Sorry..."

"That's fine," Eric replies, but peers at Kyle with furrowed eyebrows. "What's up though? Did something happen?"

Kyle sighs, strokes his beard. He's a little embarrassed to say it.

"Um, one of my clients told me they no longer wanted my services."

"Oh..." Eric nods. "Isn't that a good thing though?"

"No, no, it wasn't like 'thank you but I don't think I need to see you anymore,' it was more like, 'I'm sorry but I don't think you're a good fit.'"

"Damn."

Kyle sighs, eyes roaming his desk.

"Yeah, and I know I shouldn't take it personally, because I want my clients to be comfortable with their counselor even if it isn't me. But-"

"You're taking it personally?"

Kyle nods, shoulders drawing up.

"Yeah."

"Well, break-ups suck. I know that. Fuck them."

"No! Not fuck them!"

"I didn't mean literally."

Kyle huffs, and rolls his eyes.

"I know what you meant! I'm not angry at them, that's not the point. I just feel a little... deflated."

"For what it's worth, I think you're a great counselor."

Kyle eyebrows draw together and he smirks, amused and endeared.

"I've never counseled you."

"Oh, you haven't?" Eric arches an eyebrow. "What were all those gay little speeches and interventions trying to stop all my sweet ideas for then?"

"Nothing, evidently. It never stopped you from being a little bastard."

Eric sighs, conceding the point. He rolls his eyes and smiles with fond exasperation.

"But you kept trying, that's the point. You... you cared about me," he says that last part shyly. "Sometimes it felt like you were the only one who did."

Kyle purses his lips, and he gives Eric a soft, grateful look.

"Plus, I bet you have so many other clients who could vouch for you being a good counselor, so don't get too hung up on it."

Kyle nods, his chair squeaking a little as he sits back.

"You're right, I won't." He shoots him another grateful smile. "Thanks."

Eric grins, pleased.

"No problem. So what are you gonna do for the rest of the night?"

"I don't know." Kyle shrugs. "Probably watch TV and order take-out."

"Well, I can take care of that. I'm coming over."

Kyle shakes his head.

"Eric, you really don't have to-"

"No, I do because otherwise you're just gonna mope. I'll be over in about an hour with some pizza, okay?"

Kyle snickers, figuring that wallowing isn't productive and that he shouldn't dissuade his boyfriend from trying to cheer him up with pizza.

 "Okay. Thank you." He smiles. "See you later."

"Bye," Eric replies, before his hologram disappears.

Just under an hour later, Eric comes over with kosher-friendly pizza and a grin that asks 'did I do good?' Kyle beams, and places an appreciative kiss to his lips that answers his unspoken question. It also occurs to Kyle that in the two weeks they've been dating, this is the first time that Eric has hung out at his place. This isn't purposeful, Kyle is actively trying to not put up so many boundaries, but hanging out at Kenny's apartment and returning there after a date has just become a habit now. Eric stares around the Broflovski house like he's never been there before, but it's true that he hasn't been there in years. It must feel like stepping into a museum house, decorated with furniture from another time, and pictures of people who don't live there anymore.

But Eric soon makes himself at home, kicking off his shoes and sprawling on the couch with Kyle. He chews his pizza while Kyle scrolls lazily through the channels.

"Unbelievable." Eric scoffs, shaking his head. "There are literally a million channels now, thousands of streaming services, and nothing to watch."

"Bebe thinks all future TV is crap."

"I'm inclined to agree with her. It's just diarrhea. Our stuff was way cooler... oh my god!"

Kyle jumps at the outburst.

"What?"

" West Side Story! " Eric exclaims, pointing at the TV and the listing for the 2021 remake. "Hell yeah, now we're cooking! And it's just started!"

Kyle's eyebrows furrow, and his eyes flit back and forth between the TV and Eric.

"You really wanna watch that?"

Eric gives Kyle an incredulous look, mouth agape and revealing some pizza mush still stuck to his tongue.

"Kyle, it's a modern classic!"

Kyle chuckles, selecting the movie. He's pretty easy about what they watch, and if Eric is so into it, then why not?

"Fine." Kyle sinks more into the couch cushions as a surly gang of teens finger-snap their way down a New York City street. "I've never seen it, you know."

Eric gives Kyle another wide-eyed incredulous look, and Kyle wonders how many more declarations he can make before Eric's eyes pop out of his head.

"Seriously? It's one of the greatest musicals of all time! It's Stephen motherfucking Sondheim!"

"That name is familiar but I have never seen any of their musicals." He frowns. "Did he write Cats?"

Eric snickers, and rolls his eyes.

"No, that's Andrew Lloyd-Webber. How can you call yourself a gay man and be this clueless about musicals? You really need to learn more about your own culture, Kyle, seriously."

Kyle rolls his eyes, cheeks burning.

"Well, I don't think every gay man likes musi-"

"Sssh! It's The Jet Song!"

Kyle snickers, and shakes his head. He listens to the musical number because Eric is too enthralled to talk to him right now anyway.

"God, will you just listen to Mike Faist?" Eric says, shaking his head. " Look at Mike Faist!"

"Who's he?"

"He's Riff! The one with the amazing collarbones."

Kyle searches the screen for amazing collarbones and sees them peeking out of the t-shirt of the most charismatic member of the group.

"Oh. Oh yeah, he's cute."

"I remember my mom took me to the theatres to see this, and he was my first male crush..." Eric rolls his eyes as he remembers a technicality. He tears off a pizza crust with his teeth. "Celebrity crush, that is. I mean, I had a crush on you too but I just didn't realise it yet."

Kyle flushes from head to toe, turning away from the screen to stare at Eric. Even with his mouth full and half-concentrating on the TV, Eric's off-hand confession has stirred Kyle.

"When did you realise?" Kyle asks as coolly as possible.

Eric's eyes flit back and forth between the screen and Kyle, and he swallows hard. He really must have said that without thinking.

"When I was, like, fourteen?" he replies uncomfortably.

Kyle snickers disbelievingly, eyebrows twitching.

"It took you that long?"

"Don't know if you've noticed Kyle, but my endurance for denial is unparalleled."

Kyle chuckles, not saying that he thinks that's something they have in common. He just enjoys his own pizza slice.

After a while, he peers at Eric's face and notices a blob of marinara sauce in the corner of his mouth. He reaches for a napkin.

"You've got a little..." he finishes his sentence by reaching over and dabbing the corner of Eric's mouth with the napkin.

Eric slides his gaze to him, amused, and Kyle withers, wondering if he should have done that. He gulps.

"S-s-sorry, you just had a little sauce..."

Eric shakes his head, and chuckles.

"You don't need to apologise." He smiles. "Thanks for getting it for me."

Kyle smiles too, pressing his lips together.

"You're welcome."

"What about my hands though?" Eric grins, showing Kyle his hands that are stained red.

Kyle's eyes widen and his mouth drops open.

"What the fuck, how did your hands get so messy? Are you a fucking toddler?" He shakes his head and reaches for more napkins. "Here..."

He hands Eric some napkins and Eric scrubs at his hands before leaning in to kiss Kyle. Kyle is smiling, welcoming the kiss, before he realises Eric's hands are about to touch the couch cushions and he recoils.

"Wait, wait, wait, let me see your hands first! Don't come near these cushions until your hands are clean!"

Eric holds his hands up, and while they are clean there still seems to be some sauce embedded into the lines of his palms.

"There." He smiles. "Can I kiss you now?"

Kyle pokes his cheek with his tongue as he inspects Eric's hands, tilting his chin coyly.

Eric's tooth grazes his lip as he studies Kyle's face.

"Fuck it." He sighs. "I'll pay for the dry cleaning."

Eric presses his lips to Kyle's before he can protest. Kyle's body thrums with chuckles before he returns it, sinking deeper into the couch cushions as Eric half climbs on top of him to kiss him harder. Kyle's hand slides across the nape of Eric's neck, eyes slipping shut and tongues meeting. He has no idea what's going on in the movie, except there's a dance, and talk of a rumble, and Tony singing about how he just met a girl named Maria.

Then another song starts and Eric tears his lips away from Kyle's.

"Shit, Tonight! " He grins, eyes twinkling. He leans forward, rubbing his hands together before looking at Kyle with a very serious look on his face. "You have to listen to this, it's one of the most romantic songs in any musical ever!"

Kyle smiles and nods to placate him, sure he's right because Kyle knows nothing about musicals. The song is beautiful. It's innocent, and sweet, and well-sung, and Kyle is glad that Eric is so transfixed that he doesn't notice his misty eyes. He jumps a mile when Eric throws his arms out wide and starts belting.

" Todaaaay! The world was just an address, a place for me to live in! No better than all riiiight!"

Kyle snorts, chuckling. Eric turns to him dramatically, with a dreamy look in his eye. He reaches for Kyle's hands, and Kyle doesn't know where to look when Eric starts singing to him.

" But here you are, and what was just a world is a staaaar! Toniiiight!"

Kyle chuckles around the lump in his throat he wishes wasn't there.

"What do you think?" Eric grins when the song comes to an end, still holding Kyle's hands.

"Of your singing? Well, you certainly had passion."

Eric rolls his eyes and tuts.

"Of course, I always do! But the lyrics are amazing, aren't they?"

Kyle nods, pressing his lips tightly together again.

"Yeah, they were lovely. I can see why you like it so much."

"Lovely is an understatement, Kyle," Eric replies, letting Kyle go to take a sip of his soda. "Sondheim was a fucking genius. I would kill to be able to write like him."

"You really want to write a musical?"

"I wanted to. But what would I write about?"

Kyle raises his eyebrows.

"Are you serious? Eric, we've had more exciting lives than most, you have a wealth of experience to draw from that most creative types can only dream of."

Eric nods, wiping his mouth and his contemplative gaze wanders.

"I still have some of my Faith +1 songs written somewhere. I found them when we were clearing out my mom's stuff." He looks at Kyle and shrugs. "Maybe I could do something with those?"

Kyle's eyebrows draw together, not understanding why that is so appealing to him.

"What would the musical be about? A love affair with Jesus?"

Eric's face lights up.

"Yeah! Like, Mary Magdalene: The Musical! You know, I have some form with writing musicals about historical figures. Remember my Helen Keller musical?"

Kyle snickers.

"How could I forget? I suppose you could carve out that niche for yourself."

"Or maybe I could write about more figures from American history? Hamilton already did the founding fathers thing, and there is plenty of material with the Faith +1 unreleased tracks..." his face lights up once more. "Hey, what about Joseph Smith?"

Kyle frowns.

"The Mormon guy?"

"Yeah!"

"No offence, but I don't think anybody would pay to see a musical that's just ripping on a religion for two hours."

"I wouldn't rip on Mormonism! Just Joseph Smith..." Eric shrugs sheepishly. "A little..."

Kyle nods. He supposes that could work, but he feels like there is only so much mileage in a Joseph Smith musical.

"I would sit on it for a bit."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Eric replies, before taking another sip of his soda. As he places it back on the coffee table, he points a finger at Kyle and wags it. "There's something there though."

They watch the movie, with Eric gushing about how genius the song America is and fawning over the powerhouse talent that is Ariana DeBose, and Kyle enjoys it. He thinks it's a pretty good introduction to musicals for him. The only musical soundtrack he's ever listened to is Fiddler on The Roof and that's because his mom insisted on constantly playing it in the run-up to his Bar Mitzvah so he would feel more connected to his Jewish identity. Kyle is proud to be Jewish, and appreciates his mom's efforts, but they didn't really work.

Then the Jets start singing a song in the police station Kyle actually recognises.

"Oh, I know this song!"

Eric whips his head around, delighted.

"You do?"

"Yeah, kind of. It's in that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry is singing the song in the car with his windows down, and he drives past those kids and their parents and they think he's saying 'fuck you' not 'Krup you?'"

Eric shakes his head.

"I've never seen it."

Kyle smirks at Eric, arching his eyebrow.

"You've never seen Curb Your Enthusiasm? And you call yourself a Jew? Seriously, Eric, you need to learn more about your own culture."

He chuckles when Eric playfully swats at him with a cushion.

"We'll watch a few episodes after the movie," Kyle says. "To educate you. You can stick around, right?"

"Yeah, sure." Eric smiles. "I have a pretty free day tomorrow. I'm just seeing the kids in the evening."

Kyle smiles too.

"That's great."

"Hey, I was thinking..." Eric shifts in his seat. "Maybe you'd like to meet them?"

Kyle blinks, and his pizza is now sitting a little uncomfortably in his stomach.

"I've met your kids. At the Christmas party."

Eric rolls his eyes knowingly.

"You know what I mean, now that we're... dating."

"Oh..." Kyle whispers, anxiety lurching in his gut.

Eric raises his eyebrows at him.

"You don't want to?"

Kyle can tell he's trying hard not to sound hurt.

Kyle shakes his head to squash the idea that he doesn't want to meet Eric's kids at all.

"No..." his eyes widen when he realises how wrong that sounded. Why can't he ever get that right? "Shit, no! I-I-I didn't mean that I didn't want to, it's just..." he frowns, looks at his lap before meeting Eric's gaze again. "What if it's too soon?"

While they're in no doubt that they're dating and having a great time, Kyle hasn't told anybody except Bebe that they're dating, and Eric hasn't even told Kenny. With Eric's separation still so recent they want to gradually inform people, and since Eric is the one who is coming out of a marriage and has kids, Kyle wants to take his lead on this. But still, he can't help but worry that Eric is getting carried away by wanting to introduce Kyle to his kids like this. What if it's too fast and it hurts them? Kyle doesn't want that.

"Why would it be too soon?" Eric smiles, reaching for Kyle's hand. "I'm not going anywhere. Are you?"

Kyle sighs.

"No." He squeezes Eric's hand and strokes it with his thumb. "No, of course I'm not going anywhere. It's just... you and Yentl separating is probably a big adjustment for them already, I don't want to overwhelm them and... besides, they probably really look forward to spending time with just you. I wouldn't want to be a fifth wheel."

Eric looks at their joined hands and exhales through his nose, nodding.

"Okay... okay, I understand."

"I'm not saying no." Kyle is eager to clarify. He gives him a one-armed shrug. "Just maybe not right now."

"I totally get it." He gives Kyle a tight smile. "It's fine."

It's a little awkward for half an hour or so, but they finish the movie and Kyle puts his hand on Eric's back and rubs soothing circles when he's upset at the tragic ending. Kyle promises that Curb will cheer him up and it does. It takes a while for Eric to get into the swing of the humour, but he's soon laughing with Kyle. He also has a higher tolerance for cringe than Kyle, but that doesn't impact on his enjoyment of the show.

At some point Kyle feels his eyelids grow heavy, and he snuggles into Eric's side, with Eric's cheek squished against his head. His soft, warm body, his chest rising and falling next to him, and a show he's watched a hundred times playing on the TV soon sends Kyle off to sleep.

He wakes up a couple of hours later with a start, disoriented. The TV is still on, and when he fumbles for his phone he sees that it's 1am.

"Shit..." he mutters, before giving Eric a shove."Shit, Eric, wake up!"

Eric wakes with an unattractive snort.

"Huh?"

"It's one o'clock in the morning," Kyle replies with a slight rasp.

Eric frowns, scowling sleepily, confused.

"Crap, how long were we asleep?" He gets to his feet slowly, stretching. "I'd better get going."

Kyle blinks, suddenly awake at the prospect of Eric leaving.

"No, don't leave now," he says, getting to his feet too and wrapping his fingers around Eric's wrist. "It's too late. You can crash here."

Even though they've both just woken up, and it's dark in the living room, how significant that invitation is cuts through.

Eric blinks before a languid smile stretched across his face.

"Really?"

It warms Kyle's heart.

"I'd love for you to," he whispers, smiling too.

Eric beams, and Kyle reaches for the remote and switches off the TV. He takes Eric's warm hand and leads him to the stairs. He thinks about Eric's offer to spend time with his kids, and while this is still very new, and it's going to be an adjustment for the kids, Kyle is touched that Eric has deemed him important enough to introduce to his children, that he wants Kyle to be a part of their lives, and that he has faith they can do this.

"And hey..." he says, turning around to face Eric. He takes a bracing breath and smiles. "I'd love to spend time with your kids."

Eric blinks, before smiling wide.

"You would?"

Kyle nods enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I mean, there's no time like right now." He gives Eric's hand a squeeze. "So let's do it."

Eric's eyes roam Kyle's face, before he gives him a tug and pulls him to his lips. It's a perfect, soft, early-hours-of-the-morning kiss.

"Thank you," he whispers when they part, looking into Kyle's eyes. "They mean the world to me so the fact that you wanna meet them... I really appreciate it."

Kyle smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners and feeling emboldened.

"Come on," he whispers, giving Eric's hand a tug. "Let's go to bed."