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The little boy stood all alone at the edge of the forest. His fingers clenched the bag of dog treats in his arms tighter. No crickets were chirping, no owls hooting. The howling wind was the only thing echoing through the night, shaking the tall deciduous trees, rustling their leaves, and carrying with it the scent of oncoming rain. The little boy trembled. When he had come here, dressed in nothing but a T-Shirt and a pair of shorts, the air was still hot, and the sun had just started to set. Now night had tinted the green leaves and bushes a muddled dark blue, the treetops seemed to blend into the black night sky, and the wind had blown away the heat, bringing with it dark gray clouds that swallowed up the moon and the stars. The only thing still shining in vibrant cold colors, was the little dog hut a couple of feet away from the little boy, its roof illuminated by the light coming from the house behind him.
His little fingers had already grown numb from the cold and his gaze had become blurry with unshed tears. He bit his lip, stifling a sob that threatened to rise from his chest. A while ago, he had been yelling out into the forest over and over again, but now his voice had become too hoarse and his throat too tight for him to call out any longer.
Suddenly, a pair of soft footsteps walked up from behind him, and a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder.
“A-Cheng,” His sister's voice called out to him. “It’s already late. It’s going to rain soon. Please come back inside.”
“No!” Jiang Cheng yelled, letting out the sob that had been stuck in his throat. He harshly swatted her hand off his shoulder but didn’t turn his gaze away from the forest. “He hasn’t come back yet! I’m not coming back inside until he’s back!”
“A-Cheng…”
Jiang Cheng shook the bag of dog treats as loudly as he could, only for the sound to be drowned out by the rumbling of thunder. A raindrop fell on his wrist at the same time as a tear dropped from his eye and rolled down his cold cheek.
“I’m not leaving!” He yelled, his voice cracking. “I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving! A-Ning!”
***
Jiang Cheng jolted awake and sat up in his bed. Why did he suddenly have that dream again? His gaze traveled through the pitch-black bedroom towards the window leading out onto the backyard. Big snowflakes were falling from the sky, contrasting against the darkness of the night, trickling down onto the windowsill and coloring the bare tree branches the same shade as the strands of hair dangling in front of Jiang Cheng’s face. A short distance from his window stood a small, rundown dog hut, its roof covered in a thick layer of snow, the name plate underneath barely visible. Jiang Cheng ran his fingers through his hair, brushing the white strands out of his face and turned his head away from the window.
It had already been so many years. What was the point of remembering it now?
It was the room’s fault. Even with the bookshelf decluttered and half the portraits and books packed away into boxes, the sight of the old, familiar walls still brought back long forgotten memories. The bed creaking with every movement he made, the desk with the small dog carvings on the side, that would never clear of dust, no matter how many times he wiped it, and the air so stuffy and suffocating it reminded of hot summer days - he should’ve known they would haunt him in his dreams. Jiang Cheng closed his eyes and gulped down the lump in his throat.
Only a couple more weeks. He just had to deal with this a couple more weeks and then he’d never be back here again.
He grabbed the corner of his blanket and pulled it over his shoulder, ready to lay down again when the sound of something being dragged up and down the hallway in front of his room made his eyes snap open again. Soundlessly, Jiang Cheng pushed the blanket away and reached for his sword that was leaning against the bedside table, but then paused.
The red light of the device on his bedside table, that he used to detect resentful energy with, hadn’t gone off. Turning to the door, he saw a stream of light seeping in from under it, ever so often being broken by the shadows of small feet pitter-pattering against the wooden floor followed by a long, slender object.
Pressing his lips into a thin line and furrowing his brow, Jiang Cheng pushed Sandu back in its scabbard and put it down again. He should’ve known it was him. He got up, stomped towards the door, and yanked it open.
“Jin Ling, do you know what time it is?! I sent you to bed hours ago! What are you doing still wearing your training robes, dragging your sword around the house?!” Jiang Cheng barked.
Jin Ling flinched and instinctively hugged his sword to his chest. Suihua was far too long and heavy for the six-year-old boy to carry, making it the most useless weapon for him in case of an emergency, yet Jin Ling still insisted on taking it everywhere he went. Holding it tightly in both hands, he’d drag its scabbard through gravel, puddles, snow, and mud, until it was covered in so much dirt that it became unrecognizable. Jiang Cheng had wanted to confiscate it more than once. Just thinking about it, was enough to make his head ache. He crossed his arms in front of his chest to stop himself from reaching out and snatching Suihua out of Jin Ling’s hands.
The little puppy, who had just been trailing behind Jin Ling, scooted closer to him and tucked her tail between her legs, whimpering as she hid behind her owner.
“Nothing…” He mumbled, looking past Jiang Cheng inside his bedroom.
“Jin Ling!”
Suddenly, Jin Ling’s eyes widened. He straightened his back and stretched his neck to glance over Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. A shudder ran through Jin Ling’s body. He paled and his knuckles turned white, as he grabbed Suihua tighter and pressed his lips into a thin line.
Jin Ling took a deep breath and finally looked up at Jiang Cheng.
“JiuJiu…” He asked, his voice growing quieter with every word that followed. “C-can I… sleep in your room again tonight?”
“...”
“C-can I?”
Behind the unexplainable fear in Jin Ling’s eyes was a glimmer of fierce determination, stubbornness and a hint of impatience that told Jiang Cheng all too clearly that he wouldn’t back down no matter what he said. He sighed and dropped his arms.
“Fine.” He said and stepped aside. “But this is the last time this week! From tomorrow onwards you’re sleeping in your room again!”
They were empty words Jiang Cheng had said so many times that even he himself didn’t believe them. Jin Ling didn’t pay them any attention. He puffed his chest out, lifted his head even higher, and rushed inside the room like a cultivator running into battle, heading straight for the window, but just as he reached it, he stopped abruptly. The fierce determination left his eyes and a deep crease appeared between his brows. With a dumbstruck expression he stared out onto the snow.
The sound of Suihua’s scabbard bumping against the threshold and scraping against the floor, as Jin Ling charged towards the window, would have already been enough to make Jiang Cheng’s eyes twitch, but the theatrics alongside it were enough to make him lose the little patience he had.
“Stop playing around!” He said. “Put your sword next to mine and get to bed or back to your room! Now!”
Jin Ling puffed his cheeks out and glared out of the window before he finally made his way to the bedside table and carefully placed Suihua next to Sandu. Not taking his training robes off, he climbed under the blanket. Little Fairy jumped on the bed as well and curled up by his feet.
As Jiang Cheng tucked him in and prepared to lay down as well, he noticed Jin Ling’s gaze darting towards the window every so often. He cursed silently. This was the fourth time this week he had caught Jin Ling patrolling in front of his room late at night, he refused to explain himself and insisted on sleeping in his room afterwards. Tomorrow morning, just as he had done the previous times, Jiang Cheng would make his rounds through and around the house, checking for any abnormalities and resentful energy. He sighed. Like every morning before, he probably wouldn’t find anything out of the ordinary again tomorrow. Maybe he was taking this too seriously. Jin Ling was at that age where children had a wild imagination and were prone to nightmares.
His train of thoughts was interrupted by Little Fairy suddenly jumping out of bed and playfully barking at the window. Her ears had perked up. Her tail started wagging. Before he could call her back or figure out what she was looking at, she had already dashed out of the room.
“The monster!” Jin Ling screamed, scrambling out of bed. He grabbed his sword and ran after her. Despite Jin Ling being dragged down by the weight of Suihua, Jiang Cheng didn’t catch up to him until they were outside.
When Jiang Cheng stepped out onto the snow and turned towards his bedroom window, there was nothing there apart from a tiny curled up hedgehog hiding in the snow. Little Fairy was barking at the little animal, walking circles around him, sometimes pausing to sniff it. Jin Ling didn’t seem to notice. With his eyes tightly shut in fear, he screamed and weakly waved his sword around, hitting nothing but snow as he tried to fend the “monster” off. A deep sigh escaped Jiang Cheng’s lips, creating a cloud of white mist and taking with it all the tension in his body. As his shoulders slouched, he felt nothing but exhaustion. After making his way over to Jin Ling, he wrapped his arm around his waist and picked him up. Jin Ling’s eyes snapped open when he felt Suihua being seized by Jiang Cheng.
“Stop fooling around and look at the monster you’re fighting!” Jiang Cheng said, pointing at the trembling hedgehog.
“But I saw him!” Jin Ling insisted, wiggling around in his arms. “I saw him! He’s evil! He looks like a human with gray skin but has big dog ears and a tail! He’s always following JiuJiu around! He even watches you through your window when you sleep!”
Jiang Cheng hesitated and took another glance at the spot below his bedroom window. Apart from the hedgehog’s and Little Fairy’s footprints there were no other marks in the freshly fallen snow. The device in his room hadn’t gone off when Little Fairy had jumped out of bed either. Even when he closed his eyes and concentrated, Jiang Cheng couldn’t detect any resentful energy or the presence of a malicious spirit. He pressed his lips into a thin line and hugged the still struggling Jin Ling tighter to his chest.
“A human with dog ears and a tail? I have never heard of a monster like that before!” He scoffed. “You’re under house arrest for the rest of the week. If I catch you playing outside your room at night again, or even worse outside the house, I’ll break your legs!”
“Fairy!” Jiang Cheng barked.
The puppy flinched, let go of the hedgehog and ran back to her owner with her tail between her legs. Before closing the door, Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes in the direction of his bedroom window one last time, but all he saw was the hedgehog unrolling itself and swiftly waddling away in the opposite direction. He slammed a talisman on the backdoor, before shutting it.
Tomorrow, after making his rounds through and around the house, he’d check all devices he had put up to track malicious spirits and resentful energy.
***
Hidden behind a corner out of Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling’s sight, stood a tall, dark figure. He was panting miserably as he stared in surprise and confusion at his pale hand, which was flickering between invisible, see-through, and solid.
***
Jiang Cheng stuffed the last book into the corner of the cardboard box, before he closed the flaps and sealed them shut with a long strip of packaging tape. Lifting his head, he looked at the now empty living room bookcase and let his gaze drift over to the other one next to it filled with countless dust covered books and knick-knacks. One down, one more to go. He sighed and got up, wiping the dust off his pants. At this pace, he wouldn’t be done decluttering this house until next summer, much less have it renovated by New Year’s, as he had originally planned. In the end, those couple of weeks he had taken off to clean the house and make it presentable for sale, had amounted to nothing, but there was no way he could stay here any longer with his disciples waiting for him at Lotus Pier. How had a mere summer house acquired more junk over the years than Jin Ling’s room at Lotus Pier?
On the top shelf of the other bookcase next to a small, framed photograph laid a roughly carved wooden sword. He picked up the sword, brushed his fingers over the familiar, uneven surface and traced the protruding harsh lines. Scratches and Marks of countless long forgotten memories of childhood adventures had carved themselves into the wooden sword’s blade. When he was younger, the sword had felt powerful in his hands, strong enough to part rivers, heavy enough to destroy mountains. The corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips lifted slightly, but when he turned towards the open boxes behind him and realized the toy sword was too long to fit inside any of them, they immediately dropped again. He took a deep breath, his hands tightening around the sword, before he threw it in the garbage bag next to him. He quickly turned his attention back on the bookshelf, so that he wouldn’t reconsider his decision. His gaze fell on the photograph the sword had laid next to a moment ago, and as he looked at the image of his sister, Yanli, another wave of deep, nostalgic melancholy rose in his heart.
Maybe he would’ve been faster at decluttering if it weren’t for all the photographs.
Maybe he’d be faster if Jin Ling helped him, instead of roaming around the house and searching for a monster that wasn’t there.
Jiang Cheng laid the portrait on its face, started pulling the books out of the bookcase, weighed them in his hands and put them in the boxes. He glanced at the device peacefully standing on the windowsill. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to believe Jin Ling, but none of the devices he used to detect resentful energy in and around their house were malfunctioning. He had checked all of them thoroughly after the night where Jin Ling had first told him about the monster. Neither had he ever seen any low-level corpses, spirits and much less a human with dog tail and ears in the area, but no matter how often Jiang Cheng told him to stop patrolling in front of his room at night, tried to persuade him to sleep in his own room or insisted that he had never heard of a monster with a human form but animal features before, Jin Ling remained stubborn, insisting such a thing really was lurking outside the house.
At first, he thought it was just the vivid imagination of a child, yet the longer it went on, the more Jiang Cheng feared there was more to it. Sometimes he wondered if this was Jin Ling’s weak attempt at telling him not to sell the house. Even if he had never been here before, it was a place his JieJie had held dear in her heart. Jiang Cheng had never told Jin Ling that they used to come here every summer or what this place meant to her. He didn’t have to. The photographs, the books, and drawings on the walls, filled with her memories, did it for him. Every notch, every corner was filled with memories of their youth, their childhood, their family, and the time they spent together.
It was precisely why Jiang Cheng wanted to get rid of the summer house.
It would’ve been better if Jin Guangyao had never brought Jin Ling here in the first place. What was the point of having him help Jiang Cheng at the summer house in the weeks leading up to New Year, when they all knew that in the end, Jin Ling was going to go back to Koi Tower for the celebration? To a child, how could spending his time in an old, long abandoned summer house ever compare to the bright fireworks, rich decorations, fun and delicious foods? Jin Guangyao could save himself that kind of pointless pity. Jiang Cheng didn’t need his charity. Since the beginning, he never liked New Year’s celebrations and once he had grown up, he had come to learn how to spend them on his own. He was neither a child, who craved the bright lights, loud noises and company of countless aunts and uncles dotting on him with presents, nor was he an old man desperate to see his family members one last time. For years now, he had passed on the celebration in favour of getting work done and he didn’t plan on changing that now. Jin Guangyao and he had agreed to have Jin Ling stay one half of the year at Lotus Pier and the other half at Koi Tower. If New Year’s always fell on the time Jin Ling was at Koi Tower, then so be it. There was no point in trying to change that. There was no celebration, no one besides Jiang Cheng waiting for him at Lotus Pier.
Jiang Cheng took the last book off the shelf. Just as he had turned towards the box on his left and was about to dust the book cover off, before putting it away, a photograph fell out of it and slowly sailed to the floor. Even though numerous white lines from old folds ran through the picture and a big coffee stain climbed up the right corner blurring the bottom part of the photograph, Jiang Cheng still recognized the little boy standing in the middle. It was himself. He was about the same age in the photograph as Jin Ling was now. Squinting his eyes from the sun, the young Jiang Cheng in the photograph was smiling, as a little black puppy, whom he held in his arms, licked his cheek.
Jiang Cheng lowered his head, his expression hardening. Pressing his lips together into a thin line, he tightened his grip on the photograph, until the edges crinkled. Cursing silently, he threw the photograph in the trash and stormed out of the living room.
There was no point in holding on to the past.
***
“Take this evil monster!” A squeaky voice yelled out from behind Wen Ning.
Before he had time to react, a long, heavy, stick-like object hit Wen Ning’s right calf, making his knees give in. If it weren’t for the birch tree, he had been hiding behind to watch Jiang Cheng prepare dinner through the kitchen window, he’d have fallen face first into the snow. He scrambled to his feet to face the culprit, but he kept swinging the heavy object, striking Wen Ning’s butt with it over and over again.
“Be gone!” The attacker yelled. “Stop stalking JiuJiu! Don’t you dare harass him ever again!”
It had been decades since Wen Ning had last felt something so painful. Clinging to the tree, he bit his bottom lip and was glad to have picked a hiding spot some distance away from the kitchen, where Jiang Cheng was unlikely to hear the commotion.
Suddenly, the heavy object hit the ground with a thud. Loud, desperate panting came from behind him. Wen Ning turned around to see a little boy with a brown ponytail, bright yellow training robes, and a heavily decorated white scabbard in his hands that he had used to rain hits down on him.
“I’m not-“ Wen Ning began quietly, but the little boy interrupted him.
“Little Fairy attack!” He commanded, wiping the sweat off his forehead and beet red cheeks, as he tried to catch his breath. A little puppy ran over to them and jumped on Wen Ning. She barked happily, her little tail wagging with excitement as she started licking his face. Wen Ning turned his head away from her and lifted his hands to shield his face.
“Not like that!” The little boy furrowed his brow, puffed his red cheeks out and started shooing the puppy away again. “Don’t lick him! Attack! You’re supposed to bite him!”
“Please stop attacking me!” Wen Ning begged, squeezing his eyes shut tighter. “I wasn’t stalking anyone! I’m not h-harassing anyone… I just… I was trying to… I-I’m your JiuJiu’s friend!”
Having regained control of his puppy, the little boy huffed. “JiuJiu doesn’t have friends!” He said and under great difficulties lifted his white scabbard again to swing it at Wen Ning. “He only has me and ShuShu! If he had friends, I’d know!”
Wen Ning stared up at him with wide eyes, too shocked to dodge the attack.
“H-he… doesn’t have friends?”
The sheathed sword struck his shoulder, making Wen Ning shrink, hiss in pain, and fall into the snow.
“B-but I am his friend! I’m his childhood friend!” We Ning insisted, seeing the little boy lifting the sword again. “I can prove it!”
***
They were sitting on the back porch of the summer house. Wen Ning had lowered his head and was watching Little Fairy lovingly rub her head against his snow-covered pants. Jin Ling glared at them with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Suddenly, he pulled a talisman from his pocket and slapped it on Wen Ning’s shoulder, making Wen Ning flinch and turn his head towards him. The snow still clinging to Wen Ning’s arm trickled down his dark robe, but nothing else happened. He forced the corners of his lips up into a stiff smile and peeled the talisman off his arm. On it was a drawing of a small stick figure, that Wen Ning guessed had to be Jin Ling, fiercely stabbing a monster in the chest with a big sword.
“You don’t believe me?” Wen Ning asked quietly, holding the talisman in his hands.
Jin Ling huffed and chewed on his lip in thought. “Little Fairy doesn’t think you’re a threat…” He mumbled. “The talisman didn’t make you explode either… and I guess what you said makes sense… But I don’t understand why JiuJiu’s friend would be creepy around him and watch him through the window at night, instead of talking to him!”
Embarrassment and shame rose to Wen Ning’s face, making him lower his head again. “I didn’t-” he said but was cut off by Jin Ling again.
“Friends always run up to each other with big, bright smiles and then they hug… and stuff… that’s what they always do in cartoons and manhuas.” Jin Ling nodded to himself. “You’ve hid from him the whole time we’ve been here. Even when we tried to ambush you a couple of days ago, you ran away!”
“That’s… I didn’t think he could see me…”
“Liar!” Jin Ling said, jumping off the porch and into snow so high it swallowed up his boots and grabbed the sword lying behind him on the porch. “If you thought we couldn’t see you, you wouldn’t have run away!”
He bit the inside of his cheek. Jin Ling was right, but at first, Wen Ning had really thought no one could see him, so much so that even when Jin Ling kept throwing glares at the window he was standing at, he didn’t understand they were directed at him. After all, he was so used to his entire body being see-through, he had long stopped paying attention to the way his limbs looked. When Little Fairy’s and his eyes met through the window that night and she came sprinting outside to catch him, he had panicked and instinctively ran away to hide behind the corner. He still regretted it now. After that night, he had come to the window many times only to become invisible again the moment he stood in front of it and went unnoticed. Even though he really wanted to talk to Jiang Cheng, he couldn’t. Soon bitter disappointment rose in his heart. Seeing Jiang Cheng’s eyes pass him by like he wasn’t there, had become too painful, and he had retrieved to the forest, deciding to only watch him from a distance. He had never managed to conjure a visible, corporal form again for that long – until now.
“If he’s really your friend, you must go up to him!” Jin Ling said, trying to point his sword’s white scabbard tip at Wen Ning. “You must talk to him right now! Only then, if JiuJiu says you’re his friend, will I believe you!”
Wen Ning tried to gulp down the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. His mouth felt too dry, his tongue too numb to form a reply. What if it didn’t work again? What if he disappeared the moment, he reached the door? What if he bared his heart out to Jiang Cheng only to be met with a blank stare?
What if Jiang Cheng thought he was hideous, ugly, disgusting, now that he had a human body with animal ears and tail. What if he didn’t want to see him?
What if Jiang Cheng didn’t even remember him?
The more he thought about it, the less he felt like he could face him.
“Jin Ling!”
The backdoor slammed open. Wen Ning turned around so quickly he almost fell off the porch. Even though his heart had long stopped beating, it still felt like at this moment, it was thumping hard enough to jump out of his chest. Part of him wanted to turn around and run back to the safety of the forest, but staring up those long legs, the fluttering purple cardigan and into those familiar, sharp almond eyes glaring down at Jin Ling, he forced down that thought. This was the first time since that night that he was fully visible. Who knew when, or if, he’d ever get a chance like this again? He couldn’t hide in the forest forever, pining after Jiang Cheng in secret. Even if he didn’t want to see Wen Ning, even if he rejected him and chased him away, wasn’t having him look him in the eyes one last time worth the pain?
He got off the porch and straightened his back.
Despite having dreamed of this moment, carefully prepared for it after realizing he could become visible, he was still so nervous his mind became blank and his tongue stiff and numb. The only word that came out of his mouth was a trembling, tiny “I…”
Yet Jiang Cheng didn’t even spare him a glance. His gaze remained on Jin Ling, his expression growing more and more dissatisfied, as he looked him up and down.
“Where is your jacket?” He scolded him. “And why are your pants soaking wet?! Did you wipe the porch with your ass?! Stop playing around, come inside, and get changed. We’re having dinner.”
Jin Ling didn’t listen. He seized the opportunity, puffed his chest out, and loudly told him that there was someone who couldn’t wait to talk to him. “It’s your childhood friend!” He said, pointing at Wen Ning.
Jiang Cheng furrowed his brow. His frown grew deeper and deeper. “What childhood friend?” He asked and turned towards the spot Jin Ling was pointing at. “I don’t have any childhood friends.”
Wen Ning’s chest became unbearably heavy. He lowered his head.
Jiang Cheng didn’t remember him.
Perhaps he should’ve expected it. After all, their time together had been extremely brief and it had already been four decades since then, but still, Wen Ning couldn’t help being overcome by so much grief, he bit his lip and turned around, ready to dash back to the forest.
“What is that nonsense?” Jiang Cheng said. “There’s no one here apart from us.”
Wen Ning lifted his head. Jiang Cheng was staring in his direction, but even though Wen Ning was standing next to him, he looked right through him at the birch tree in bewilderment. Jin Ling turned towards Wen Ning as well, only to blink and lower the arm that was pointing at him. Furrowing his brow, Jin Ling stood there for a moment, staring at the snow until suddenly his eyes lit up. Jin Ling turned around and started running towards the birch tree by the edge of the forest. Little Fairy followed him, dragging her tiny legs through the snow.
“Come back!” Jiang Cheng yelled after him, running out of the house and down the porch in his slippers to follow them. “I told you to never play in the forest!”
Jin Ling stopped running, lowered his head and returned to Jiang Cheng in defeat.
“Why isn’t she wearing a leash?!” Jiang Cheng scolded him, grabbing Jin Ling’s arm with one hand, and picking Little Fairy up with the other. “I told you to keep her on a leash when you’re roaming around outside, but clearly you know better than me and have no intention of listening to anything I say. Playing around without your jacket, with your dog unleashed when you’re still under house arrest… Running towards the forest right in front of my eyes when I told you not to go there… Why don’t you go play hide and seek at the cliff while you’re at it!”
“But Little Fairy doesn’t like the leash…” Jin Ling mumbled, his gaze still glued on the forest, as he searched the treeline for Wen Ning.
“Do you want her to run away and get lost in the woods instead?! If you don’t care about your ShuShu’s present and don’t want her anymore, I can give her to Jin Rusong. One more week of house arrest for you!”
Jin Ling puffed his cheeks out, clenched his hands, and stomped his little foot against the ground angrily before being dragged back inside the summer house.
Wen Ning closed his eyes. He counted to ten, before lifting one of his hands and opening his eyes again. His hand was see-through. His heart filled with bitter pain at the realization that he had once again become invisible.
***
Jin Ling was sitting at the kitchen table, puffing his cheeks out, as he huffed and glared at the plate of steaming vegetables in front of him. He had been like this ever since he had entered the summer house, stomping his feet hard enough to shake the snow and mud off his clothes and onto the hallway floor. Ignoring Jiang Cheng’s lecture, he had glanced over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes at the empty, white backyard.
Jiang Cheng sighed and lowered his chopsticks.
“She’ll get used to the leash.” Jiang Cheng said, but Jin Ling only poked the broccoli on his plate with his chopsticks, neither lifting his gaze nor nodding in understanding. “Once you’re back at Koi Tower, you can take her outside without...”
“JiuJiu,” Jin Ling suddenly interrupted him and, ignoring everything Jiang Cheng had said as if he had never been talking in the first place, asked: “Do you really not have any childhood friends?”
The veins on Jiang Cheng’s forehead throbbed hearing his question. He closed his eyes and clenched his wooden chopsticks so hard they snapped in half. Once again Jin Ling wasn’t listening. He took a deep breath and was ready to lecture him and send him off to bed when Jin Ling opened his mouth again and continued without waiting for a reply.
“Do you know someone named Wen Ning?”
Jiang Cheng’s eyes snapped open and the words he had been about to say died on his lips. The howling of the wind outside mingled with the loud ticking of the kitchen clock, as he silently stared at Jin Ling.
How did he know of that name? Had he heard Jiang Cheng mumble it in his sleep?
The photograph he had found earlier of his younger self holding a little puppy flashed before Jiang Cheng’s mind. He lowered his gaze.
He knew, or rather he had known, someone with that name.
“JiuJiu?”
Jiang Cheng put down his other chopstick and pushed his chair back. “Go to bed.” was the only answer Jiang Cheng gave him. “It’s late. Take a bath and go to bed.”
The bubbles from the dishwashing soap had settled in the sink and gently swayed in the lukewarm water as Jiang Cheng dried the last plate off with a rag. He put the plate on the drying rack to the other ones and pulled the plug out of the sink, letting the soap water slowly whirl down the gurgling drain.
Wen Ning.
It was the name JieJie and Jiang Cheng had given him on that hot and humid summer day all those years ago, the name carved into the plate of the dog hut standing in the backyard.
The bathroom door across the hallway squeaked opened and the pitter-patter of Jin Ling rushing back to his room echoed through the silent summer house. Jiang Cheng opened the cabinet above the sink, took out the liquor bottle hidden behind bags of grains and rice. After filling himself a cup, he sat back down at the kitchen table.
Jiang Cheng had been about five when he had found Wen Ning curled up in a bin in front of the summer house. He had been the size of a honeydew with fur as soft as cotton and deep, black eyes. At first, Wen Ning had been skittish, running from loud noises, trembling with fear at the sight of even a bunny, but the more time they spent together, the braver and more confident he became. He had been his best friend, his companion. Jiang Cheng had wanted to take him back to Lotus Pier and have him by his side for the rest of his life. Yet, just as quickly as the leaves turned red and summer ended, so did their time together.
One morning Jiang Cheng had woken up to find the pillow he had placed on the porch for Wen Ning empty. Even though it had been still warm, he couldn’t find him no matter where he searched for him. He had waited the whole day and half the night in the backyard for his return. Even when they had set out on their way back to Lotus Pier, the summer house growing smaller and smaller in the distance, Jiang Cheng had been looking over his shoulder, hoping for Wen Ning’s tiny silhouette to suddenly appear at the horizon and come sprinting after them. It never did.
Jiang Cheng downed his cup of liquor, before quickly filling himself another one. The liquor gently sloshed against the sides of the cup as he lifted it to his lips and smiled bitterly.
He used to be so naive, so stupid. Spending the next couple of summers searching for Wen Ning around the area, sneaking into the forest to find him, he had believed there was still a chance they could reunite, even after all this time had passed. If it hadn’t been for Wei Wuxian, who was afraid of dogs, coming to live with them when Jiang Cheng was eight, he’d have probably never stopped looking for him. The years had come and gone. In the blink of an eye over a decade had passed, his parents had died, and Wei Wuxian had left.
The last time he had come to the summer house was the year his JieJie got married. After she died, he had never stepped foot into the summer house again, until now.
Jiang Cheng emptied a second and a third cup, letting the liquor burn his throat, ignoring the tears stinging the corners of his eyes. Bitter anger welled up in his chest. What was the point of thinking about this now? Why had he grown so incredibly sentimental, so nostalgic ever since coming here? He was a Sect Leader and had been one for years. He had to take care of and raise Jin Ling. He couldn’t afford to be so pathetic, so weak, to get emotional over the past.
But much like he couldn’t manage to sort through the items in the house, left behind by him and his family, without getting overwhelmed by his emotions, Jiang Cheng couldn’t let go off Wen Ning’s dog hut either. Despite its colour having faded, the wood underneath having turned black and brittle from rain, wind, and snow, the mouldy, withered red hut was still standing in the backyard like it was waiting for Wen Ning’s return.
He was truly becoming weak, or maybe he had never been strong to begin with.
Jiang Cheng grinded his teeth at the thought of it. Abandoning the cup, he picked up the liquor bottle and emptied the rest in one gulp. Wiping his lips with the back of his hand, he got up, staggered a little and narrowed his eyes at his sword.
Bullshit.
He wasn’t weak. He had promised himself to never be as weak as he was back then again.Hadn’t he come here to fix the summer house, so he could sell it and finally be free of the last thing connecting him to those childhood memories? Grabbing Sandu, he forced his feet to the backdoor and fighting against his blurry vision and dizziness, he wobbled through the snow towards the hut.
He would put an end to this. Even if he didn’t succeed in decluttering and renovating this cursed summer house until New Year’s, he’d at least tear down the useless, disgusting dog hut and be rid of all the pointless memories surrounding it once and for all.
He lifted Sandu, but just as he was about to strike one of the flimsy dog hut’s walls, he stopped. Dim light was coming from the backdoor Jiang Cheng had forgotten to close. It illuminated the snow-covered hut in a warm soft, golden colour, making it appear even smaller, lonelier, and even more fragile than in his memory. He slowly lowered his sword and stood there for a moment, letting the wind ruffle his loose hair strands and the corners of his cardigan.
He lifted his hand and wiped the snow off the nameplate above the dog hut’s entrance. The colour had faded to the point that the characters written on it had become unrecognizable. Only a tiny trail of paw print running over the right side of the name plate was still clearly visible.
The corners of his lips lifted into a sad smile. They had built the dog hut together. He remembered how Wen Ning had sat by his side, while he stuck the wooden pieces together to form the walls. His sister had been leaning over the nameplate, carefully painting each character stroke. At some point Jiang Cheng had knocked over the paint and Wen Ning had stepped into it. When his father called out to them, Wen Ning had dashed over, running over the nameplate, and leaving behind a trail of paw prints.
Jiang Cheng’s nose, red from the cold and the alcohol, tingled. His already glassy eyes, glistening with drunkenness, filled up with tears blurring his vision further.
He had made so many plans. There had been so many things he had wanted to show Wen Ning, so many adventures he had wanted to take him on.
It wasn’t fair. It was always the same.
Why did it seem like Jiang Cheng was destined to only have so little time with the ones he loved?
“Jiang... Cheng?” An unfamiliar voice called out from behind him.
Jiang Cheng wiped the tears off his cheeks and turned around to see a ghostly pale stranger standing in front of him. A pair of pitch black, triangular ears were sticking out of his lowered head. His fingers nervously brushed his long, fluffy tail, as he stammered out something Jiang Cheng couldn’t understand.
Jin Ling had been right. There really was a monster with a human figure, a dog tail, and ears, roaming around outside and stalking him.
How had he not heard him coming or felt his presence?
Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes and lifted Sandu, immediately trying to strike at him, only for his sword to hit the ground and cut through nothing but snow. The monster stopped talking and jumped two steps back, lifting his head to stare at him in shock. The alcohol had made Jiang Cheng’s stance too unsteady and his vision too blurry to aim properly. Anger rose to his face, adding to the flush caused by the liquor. He clenched his fists and cursed silently. Purple sparks shot from the silver ring on his right hand as he conjured Zidian.
“Wait!” The monster yelled seeing the sizzling whip shoot out of the ring. “It’s me! Jiang Cheng, I said it’s me! Wen Ning! I’m Wen Ning!”
“Bullshit.”
Ignoring his rambling, Jiang Cheng tried to strike him with Zidian, yet the monster easily managed to dodge his attack, taking another couple of steps back. Jiang Cheng staggered, as he tried to stop his own body from swaying.
“I-I swear it’s me!” The ghost reached inside his robes and pulled out a slim, black collar. “L-look! It has my name on it!” In the darkness, it was impossible to make out the characters written on the collar, but even if it had been possible and Wen Ning’s name had been written on it, Jiang Cheng still wouldn’t believe it.
The monster threw himself on the ground, dodging another one of Jiang Cheng’s fierce, but hopelessly misdirected attacks. “You found me in a bin in front of your house.” The monster said. “W-we used to sneak out into the woods all the time…” He rolled away from Sandu’s blade. “You used to call me your puppy general. Later you gave me a first and a last name, not only because you thought a general needed a full name, but also because you liked the way it sounded and made other people think you had befriended another boy your age. You came up with the name Ning and your sister added the character for Wen. She said it fit because you had found me on a warm and peaceful summer day.”
Jiang Cheng had just raised Zidian to strike again when these words made him stop the whip mid-air. For the first time since the beginning of their fight, Jiang Cheng clearly looked at the stranger. A sad loneliness was floating in the depth of his dark eyes, so familiar it made Jiang Cheng’s own bloodshot, teary eyes soften ever so slightly.
“You said you were going to become the greatest cultivator alive and would always let me ride on your sword in the future.” The other continued. “You said… if young master Jin would be mean to your JieJie again, we’d beat him up together, that you were way stronger than him and even demonstrated your skills with the wooden toy sword you always carried with you… We even practiced our attack together.”
The purple light went out, as Zidian retracted and curled around Jiang Cheng’s index finger.
Snow trinkled off his robes, his tail and ears, as the other sat up and got off the ground.
“We promised each other that we’d always be together, that we’d always be best friends… When I died and even after that… the only one I ever thought about was you.”
“Wen Ning was a dog.” Jiang Cheng said quietly.
“I was.” He said and lowered his head. “I used to be.”
***
When the little puppy opened his eyes, he found himself lying on the ground in the middle of a dark blue sea of pine trees. Rain was pouring down from the night sky and onto the muddy puddles around him. He sniffed the air, but he could neither smell the sweetness of the pines, nor the rain or the moist earth beneath his feet. It was neither hot nor cold. Countless thoughts were spinning through his mind, buzzing in his ears, and drowning out the rumbling thunder. Where was he? How had he ended up here? And where had he been heading? No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember. All he knew was that he wanted to go home.
As he forced his trembling body up and off the ground, a strong gust of wind made his knees buckle, forcing him back into the mud.
Suddenly, small sobs rang through the forest. Even though it was drowned up by the pouring rain, the rumbling thunder and lightning, the little puppy’s ears still perked up and he shot off the ground. Before his mind could catch up with his body, his legs had already started carrying him in the direction of the sounds. He would always recognize that voice. Over the past few weeks, he had heard that voice laugh and cry, scream, huff, and sigh, and most importantly, he had heard it call out his name again and again. It was the voice of the one he cared about the most, the one he loved with all his heart, his owner, Jiang Cheng!
No matter who it was, if someone had hurt him, he’d fight them. He’d sit beside Jiang Cheng until his tears dried and he smiled again. Just as Jiang Cheng always comforted him by stroking his back and scratching his fur, he too would do everything he could to make the sadness and pain go away!
“A-…Ning.” Jiang Cheng called out weakly.
Wen Ning’s feet stopped at the edge of the forest. Jiang Cheng sat on the ground, hugging his legs with his face buried in his knees. The pouring rain had soaked through Jiang Cheng’s clothes. His shoulders trembled, abruptly rising, and falling with every loud sob that broke from his chest. Wen Ning’s little chest tightened.
“A-Ning.”
It was his fault.
For how long had he been gone?
He barked loudly, calling out to him over the howling of the wind. It was okay! He was back! Jiang Cheng didn’t need to cry anymore! After rushing over to him, he jumped around, barking, and wagging his tail. Wen Ning would make it up to him! They could play the whole night in secret like they had done before! Tomorrow, Jiang Cheng could pretend he was a powerful cultivator, fighting dangerous monsters with his loyal companion, Wen Ning, by the lake. And afterwards they could go for a swim, just as they had planned!
Wen Ning barked again, but Jiang Cheng still didn’t lift his head, leaving him with no other choice but to nudge his arm. Instead of touching Jiang Cheng’s arm, his nose went right through it and Wen Ning stumbled forward.
Jiang Cheng’s sobs were stifled. He shivered, brushed the hair sticking to his forehead out of his face and lifted his head, revealing a bag of dog treats tugged between his knees and chest.
“A-…”
Puffy, red eyes scanned the edge of the forest. Jiang Cheng wiped his face with the back of his hand, but tears continued to mix with the raindrops falling on his cheeks, as he turned and looked around. His gaze swept past Wen Ning again and again, never quite landing on him, always seemingly looking through him.
Wen Ning’s tail drooped.
The realization pierced through his heart like a dagger, leaving behind nothing but unbearable pain. Despite having run through the forest for so long, he wasn’t tired, and his fur was neither wet, nor cold.
Wen Ning lowered his head. Only now, looking at his four tiny paws, did he realize that he could barely make out their outlines. His entire body, from head to toe, was see-through. He whined and whimpered, but Jiang Cheng didn’t hear him. Big tears blurred his vision and rolled down his cheeks, but they never hit the ground.
Jiang Cheng’s sister came outside, holding a big umbrella. She stopped next to Jiang Cheng and held it over him.
“A-Cheng,” she said quietly. “Please come back inside.”
Jiang Cheng wiped his face one last time, lowered his head, got up, and left, leaving Wen Ning behind in the pouring rain.
***
“I followed you around the entire rest of the summer.” Wen Ning said. “I laid by the foot of your bed when you slept and sat next to you on the porch when you were drawing… I even followed you whenever you went out searching for me…”
Wen Ning took his tail back in his hands, squeezing it gently, as he struggled to find the right words to continue. Jiang Cheng sheathed his sword. Crunching the snow beneath his slippers, he stepped towards him, but Wen Ning didn’t notice.
“You called out my name.” He continued, his voice growing hoarser with every word he said. “I barked as loudly as I could, hoping you’d somehow hear me, but you never did... When you left that summer, I chased after you, until I couldn’t keep up anymore… After that, I dragged myself back to the house and laid down in my hut, fearing it’d be the last time I’d ever get to see you.”
He smiled and shyly lifted his head. “I was so happy when you suddenly came back the next year. From then onwards, I looked forward to every summer. Even if you couldn’t see me, it was fine. Simply being by your side was enough… until it wasn’t.”
Jiang Cheng lifted his hand, but when he reached out to take Wen Ning’s, he realized the fingers holding his tail were invisible. Jiang Cheng pulled his hand away.
“I really wanted you to see me, to look at me the way you used to back then. I tried so hard to cultivate a human form. It didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. Instead of looking like a general, I ended up a scary monster.”
“Your hand.” Jiang Cheng said quietly, interrupting him.
A sad look flashed in Wen Ning’s eyes and he lowered his head again. He smiled bitterly. “I’m sorry, I never managed to properly cultivate a human form. I can’t seem to make it work. After some time, I inevitably become invisible, no matter what I do. But still, even if I don’t know how much time I have left in this form and even if I don’t know when I’ll be able to conjure it up again, I just really, really wanted to see you and tell you that… I missed you… and you mean a lot to me.”
For a moment Jiang Cheng’s features had softened, but when he heard what Wen Ning said, his expression hardened again. A strong gust of wind blew through the backyard, extinguishing the warm fuzziness that had started to spread in Jiang Cheng’s chest, and his heart grew cold.
Slowly sobering up, he could finally feel the freezing snow through his pants and soaking wet slippers. A shiver ran down his back that he could only suppress by grinding his teeth.
How naïve he was. Even after all these years he hadn’t leant. Had he really believed that things could go back to how they were, that the heavens had given him a second chance, he could turn back the time and they could catch up on all the adventures they had missed out on?
Jiang Cheng turned away from Wen Ning and forced a cold laugh out of his tightening throat. He truly had never been strong to begin with. No matter how hard he worked, how much he grew or trained, he remained weak.
In the end, he was still as weak as a child, desperate for someone to keep him company. Even during New Year’s, the holiday he hated the most and never celebrated, he craved to have someone by his side. Despite telling himself, despite knowing it shouldn’t bother him, didn’t he always feel a sting in his heart at the sight of the fireworks going off in the distance? It was truly pathetic.
He clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms and closed his eyes.
Hadn’t he just decided he was done with wallowing in nostalgia? Why was he getting emotional chasing after childhood dreams that had long slipped through his fingers? He still remembered the empty pillow lying on the porch, the empty backyard and the hours spent desperately hoping for his puppy’s return. His childhood was a time too painful to remember, but impossible to forget. There was no need to repeat it. There wouldn’t be a different outcome.
He had come out here to destroy the hut and to finally let go of his past. Opening his eyes, he narrowed his gaze at Wen Ning.
“You’re lucky to have cultivated a human form.” He scoffed. “Now you can go everywhere you want and won’t need this mouldy, old dog hut any longer.” Purple lightning flashed out of his ring as Jiang Cheng conjured Zidian again. Wen Ning’s eyes widened. “Might as well tear it down.”
“Wait!” Wen Ning yelled and stepped in front of the dog hut, stretching his arms out to shield it. “Don’t! Y-you don’t have to tear it down. You worked so hard to build it… Even if I can’t use it anymore… Little Fairy could have it.”
“What would she need such a disgusting, ugly hut for? Especially on a property that soon won’t belong to us anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Wen Ning asked, slightly lowering his arms.
Jiang Cheng huffed and smiled coldly. “I’m selling this place.”
“You’re… you’re selling the summer house?” Wen Ning took a step back, stumbled and fell against the dog hut. Eyes full of disbelief and desperation searched Jiang Cheng’s, but his remained harsh and indifferent.
“You didn’t seriously think I came back after so many years for a winter break or to celebrate New Year’s here?”
Wen Ning bit his lip and lowered his arms and head.
“Ha! How stupid can you be?!” Jiang Cheng asked. “Who would willingly spend New Year’s here? I only came to tidy up the place, so I could sell it before next summer.”
He raised Zidian, ready to strike the little hut. “How lucky that you have cultivated a human form. I won’t need to hold back, and you won’t struggle to understand when I tell you to pack your stuff and leave before I make you.”
When he was five years old, Jiang Cheng had been standing at this exact spot, begging Wen Ning to come back. Now he was barking at him to leave.
The pitiful, sad look in Wen Ning’s eyes scratched at his heart. Jiang Cheng had to advert his gaze to hide the pained and conflicted expression rising to his face. It took him only a moment to collect himself again, but when he looked back at Wen Ning, he was gone. Without the crunching of footsteps or the rustling of clothes, he had disappeared from the spot he had stood at, just as Jiang Cheng had told him to.
So this was how long they had together this time.
His heart grew heavy. Jiang Cheng clenched the whip in his hand tighter and turned towards the hut. Venting his hurt and anger, he swung it at full force, but the whip only hit the snow, burning a long line into it. Despite everything he had said, the act he had put on, despite knowing it was what he should do, he couldn’t destroy the hut.
Biting the inside of his cheek, he retracted Zidian and left.
***
Jiang Cheng’s mood soured. From that evening onwards, every single piece of furniture, old childhood toy and photograph in the summer house made his veins throb and his blood boil. The garbage bags were soon overflowing with torn drawings, shattered pots, vases, and broken picture frames. The closer New Year’s approached, the less he left his room. Finally, he gave up on trying to clean the summer house, called a service to finish the job for him after New Year’s, locked himself in his room and only came out to take care of Jin Ling.
Whenever Jin Ling would bring up the monster or ask him about his childhood friend, Wen Ning, Jiang Cheng would scold him harshly, telling him the monster was gone and he had dealt with everything, and send him to his room. Given the dark curtains now covering Jiang Cheng’s bedroom window, Jin Ling had a hard time believing him. A couple of times, Jin Ling snuck out of the house with Suihua and sat by the porch, waiting for the monster, but he never showed up again. Eventually he gave up and shifted his focus towards the New Year’s celebration.
It would be the first time he got to spend it with his JiuJiu. Even if it wouldn’t be at Lotus Pier, he still couldn’t help feeling excited. With the help of his ShuShu, Jin Ling prepared decorations, found out where they could go to see beautiful fireworks and made drawings of all the delicious dishes they’d eat. He’d lie awake at night imagining how proud his JiuJiu would be of him, once he saw how well he had planned everything.
But when New Year’s came, Jiang Cheng didn’t ask him to set up the decorations lying in the living room. Without taking note of the food drawings Jin Ling had laid out on the kitchen counter, Jiang Cheng warmed up yesterday’s leftovers and wordlessly went back to his room.
Jing Ling ran back to his room with teary eyes. Curled up in bed, he cried until his eyes hurt. By then the moon had risen high above the forest and countless little stars were sprinkled over the black night sky. He sniffed, wiped the tears off his cheeks and sat up. There were still the fireworks. Even if JiuJiu didn’t want to decorate or cook together, maybe at least he’d want to see the fireworks. With the last bit of hope glimmering in his heart, he walked down the hallway and knocked on Jiang Cheng’s bedroom door, but no one answered. He pushed the door handle down, only to find the lights still turned on, but his JiuJiu in bed, deep asleep with his back facing him.
His eyes stung as they filled with new tears. Puffing his cheeks out, he tried to stop himself from crying, but it was no use. It felt like his heart had broken in half.
Despite Jin Ling having been so excited to spend New Year’s with his JiuJiu, he didn’t seem to want to celebrate with him at all. He had even gone to bed without watching the fireworks with him or giving him a red envelope.
If he had known, he’d have stayed at Koi Tower. His aunt, uncle and cousin would’ve loved to have him there. They’d have served him all his favorite dishes, and Little Fairy steak. He’d get envelopes with so much money, it could buy candy for a whole year! If he were at Koi Tower now, he’d probably be playing catch and chasing A-Song around the hall with Little Fairy. Later, they’d get to watch the huge firework show together and afterwards, they’d get tucked into bed by his aunt.
He sniffed, closed the door, and ran back to his room. Even though the sun had already set, the celebrations hadn’t ended yet. If JiuJiu didn’t want to celebrate New Year’s with him here, he'd have spent it with his uncle, aunt, and cousin at Koi Tower! If he ran really fast, he’d probably still be able to make it to the firework show.
After taking Suihua and Little Fairy, he left the summer house through the backdoor.
***
“Little Fairy!”
Jiang Cheng’s eyes snapped open, startled awake by the scream. He sat up, looked around the room, only to realize he had fallen asleep while lying down. Squeezing his eyes shut, he pushed up his glasses, and rubbed the spot between his brows, trying to come back to his senses and alleviate the throbbing in his head. Somewhere in the distance fireworks were going off, one after another.
“Little Fairy!” Jin Ling screamed again. It was coming from the backyard.
Jiang Cheng grabbed Sandu and rushed outside. The back of Jin Ling’s yellow training robes peeked out from within the forest, growing smaller as he ran deeper into it, dragging his sword with him. It took Jiang Cheng no time to catch up, grab his shoulder and turn him around. Lifting his tear-stained face, Jin Ling looked up at him.
“Little Fairy ran away!” He said. “She heard fireworks go off in the distance, got scared and ran into the forest! She didn’t listen when I told her to come back!”
Jiang Cheng’s expression darkened. “I told you to keep her on a leash when walking around outside! What are you doing out here at this hour anyway?! Why hasn’t Jin Guangyao come to pick you up and take you to Lanling for the New Year’s celebration?!”
Why was he still here? Hadn’t Jin Ling been discussing the food and decoration for the celebration over the phone with Jin Guangyao the past week? Why hadn’t they made plans for him to come pick Jin Ling up sooner?
Yet, regardless of how many questions he asked, Jin Ling didn’t answer any of them. Sniffing and sobbing, he turned away from him and dropped the heavy sword that was dragging him down. He tried to shake Jiang Cheng off, ready to run deeper into the forest to chase after Little Fairy, but Jiang Cheng wrapped his arms around him, stopping him from taking another step forward.
“Take your sword and go back inside!” Jiang Cheng said. “When your uncle comes, tell him where I went. Don’t do anything stupid and wait for me! I’ll go get her. She’ll be fine!”
Crunching the snow beneath his feet, Jiang Cheng ran past tall deciduous trees and dark blue pines. He parted scrubs and bushes looking for the little puppy, all the while calling out her name. He didn’t feel the cold seeping in through his cardigan or notice his glasses fog up, as he ran deeper into the forest.
The closer he came to the cliff, the faster his heart beat. He stopped, turned around and scanned the ground for anything resembling a little husky. He listened for any yelp, any whimper, any movement, but the only sounds echoing through the forest were the explosions going off in the distance and the wind. The more time passed, the more certain he felt that the worst possible thing had happened.
It was just like back then.
After Wen Ning had left, the day before they were going home, he too had snuck out of the house at night and ran through the forest to search for him. Just like back then, he was panting, screaming out of the top of his lungs for a little puppy, who wouldn’t answer. After a while, his father had come rushing after him and brought him back to the summer house empty handed. Wen Ning had never come back.
He had cried in secret for days after coming back to Lotus Pier. When no one was watching he’d fill one bowl up with water and one with the dog treats he had left. He had put the bowls up in a small corner of Lotus Pier and checked every day if someone had come to drink or eat from them. Every night, he’d lay awake, listen to the chirping of crickets, and try to hear Wen Ning’s barking amidst them.
He had blamed his father for not allowing him to search the forest longer, his mother for having thought the puppy a waste of time to begin with, and Wen Ning himself for his disappearance until he was boiling with anger and resentment, he couldn’t let out on anyone but himself.
He never wanted Jin Ling to feel that kind of pain. Where had he gone wrong?
“Little Fairy!” He yelled out over the sound of the fireworks one last time, before his throat became too tight and his mouth too dry.
His breath became shallow. His head started throbbing harder and he quickly grew dizzy. He turned around, but suddenly found himself lost in the forest. Everything had turned the same shade of dark blue, black, and white. The fireworks seemed to come from every direction and none. He wanted to lean against a pine for a moment, but when he tried to put his arm against it, there was nothing there. He stumbled a couple of steps, before falling into the snow.
Wen Ning was his best friend, his companion. He had loved him so much. Back then, Jiang Cheng would have given anything to have him back.
Why had he told him to leave that night in the backyard?
Out of everyone, he had lost, he was the only one who could come back to him and wanted to stay by his side. He had loved him so much, he had cultivated a human form just to spend a little more time with him.
So why had Wen Ning listened to him and left?
He wanted him back. He wanted his friend back, even if just for an hour. After years of walking this road alone, he had grown tired of it. He missed the summer heat, fooling around by the lake, catching fireflies in the backyard, and dreaming of the future.
Right now, he didn’t care if it made him weak, he was lonely. He didn’t like New Year’s because it reminded him of the fact that he had no one in his life apart from Jin Ling, and even he was never there to celebrate with him. Every time he sent him off to Koi Tower before New Year’s, a part of him tried to come up with a reason to make him stay, and after he had left, he was always overcome by so much loneliness, he locked himself in his office until the flowers started to bloom.
He had missed Wen Ning. He had missed having someone around he cared for and who cared for him, apart from Jin Ling.
Kneeling in the snow, he felt like an adult and a five-year-old child at the same time. He neither realized that the fireworks and wind had stopped, nor that he had long started calling out Wen Ning’s name instead of Little Fairy’s.
“Wen Ning, come back…”
Suddenly, a pair of footsteps crunched through the snow. Jiang Cheng turned around to see a tall, dark silhouette, big dark eyes amidst a pale face, and a pair of big, black ears. It was Wen Ning. In his arms, he carried a little puppy. She kept yawning and blinking her tired eyes.
“I am back.” Wen Ning said quietly, coming to a halt a short distance away from him.
Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened as he realized what he had just said, and he lowered his gaze. Pressing his lips together, he scrambled to his feet and after wiping the snow off his clothes, rushed over to take Little Fairy from him.
“She’s fine.” Wen Ning said. “Just a little tired from all the stress. I found her hiding under a pine tree not too far from here. Luckily the fireworks have stopped.”
Jiang Cheng remained silent, trying to mask the trembling of his fingers, as he brushed them through Little Fairy’s fur. She weakly wagged her tail and closed her eyes, finally falling asleep.
He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to answer when his heart was thumping so loudly in his chest and he craved to pull Wen Ning closer, hug him and never let go again. Wen Ning had cultivated a human form, so Jiang Cheng would look at him again and they could be together for a little while longer. And now he had come back after everything Jiang Cheng had said and done, just because he called out his name. It was absurd how much Wen Ning seemed to love him and how little it had weighed in Jiang Cheng’s decision to chase him away that night.
For a moment, Wen Ning standing in front of him seemed too good to be true and Jiang Cheng forced himself to lift his head, only to see dark eyes full of happiness and affection looking back at him. A blush rose to Jiang Cheng’s cheeks. He quickly turned his attention back to Little Fairy.
“I’m sorry.” Wen Ning said. “I… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just heard you calling out to me. Then suddenly, I was visible again and… I haven’t felt this happy in so long, I couldn’t wait. I had to come over immediately and didn’t think this through. After you said all those things in the backyard that night…”
“Don’t mention it.” Jiang Cheng interrupted him and stopped running his fingers through Little Fairy’s fur. “I didn’t mean any of it. I’m sorry.”
Wen Ning’s tail started wagging. It brushed against the snow, as he stepped from one foot to the other in excitement. It seemed like any moment now, he’d start running circles in the forest out of happiness and only return to rub his head against Jiang Cheng lovingly. If one of his hands had been free, Jiang Cheng would’ve patted his head just like he used to do in the past.
“Does that…”, Wen Ning began. “Does that mean I can stay? Does that mean… you’ll keep the summer house?”
A gust of wind blew the snow off a birch tree branch close to them. It slowly trickled to the ground. Jiang Cheng closed his eyes and took a deep breath to answer when a loud scream cut him off. His eyes widened. The color drained from his face. He pushed Little Fairy back into Wen Ning’s arms, turned around and wordlessly dashed in the opposite direction.
The scream came from the cliff. It was Jin Ling.
***
Jiang Cheng fought his way through the scrubs, using his bare hands to break the thorny twigs, as he ran towards the cliff. “Jin Ling!” He yelled out at the top of his lungs, and Jin Ling’s small, tearful voice answered.
“JiuJiu!”
A crooked, brittle tree stood by the edge of the cliff, leaning over it. Jin Ling’s hand was clinging on to one of its thin branches, as he hung over the cliff.
“JiuJiu!” He cried, seeing his uncle emerge from the scrub. Grabbing the branch tighter, he wiggled his legs, clenched his jaw, and tried to pull himself back up to no avail.
“Give me your sword, I’ll pull you up!” Jiang Cheng said, rushing over to him. Holding on to the tree trunk, he leaned over the cliff and stretched his arm out to him.
Jin Ling shook his head and tried to blink the tears away, only for more to rise to his eyes, roll down his cheeks and fall into the darkness. His red rimmed eyes looked up at Jiang Cheng.
“I lost it!” He sobbed. “I tripped and now it’s gone just like Little Fairy!”
Jiang Cheng cursed, grabbed the trunk tighter and leaned forward, until most of his body was hanging off the cliff.
“Take my hand!” He yelled. “She’s fine. I found her. Stop crying and take my hand!”
Jin Ling’s eyes lit up. He sniffed, collected himself and after giving a brief nod, stretched his arm out to him, but only their fingers brushed against each other. The distance between them was still too great. Jiang Cheng clenched his jaw and leaned over the cliff as far as possible. Jin Ling stretched himself until his face turned red from exertion, as he desperately tried to reach for him. Finally, Jiang Cheng could grab hold of Jin Ling’s hand, but just as he was about to pull him up, the ground under his feet gave out. He lost his footing. Gravity pulled his body forward to follow the snow and gravel sliding down the cliff. Jin Ling screamed. Jiang Cheng immediately let go of his hand, so he wouldn’t drag him down along with him, closed his eyes and prepared for the worst.
Yet the fall never came. A strong arm wrapped itself around his waist, firmly holding him back.
“Little Fairy!” Jin Ling screamed.
Jiang Cheng opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder to see Wen Ning standing there, holding Little Fairy in one arm, while his other was wrapped around his waist. Wen Ning had followed him here. The corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips turned up in a small smile at the realization. He quickly turned back to Jin Ling and grabbed his hand again. Using all their strengths, until both their arms and legs were trembling, Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning pulled Jin Ling back up. They fell backwards onto the snow. Jiang Cheng scrambled to Jin Ling and immediately started checking his arms, legs, and face for injuries, while Jin Ling grabbed Little Fairy, who had woken up from the commotion and hugged her against his chest.
“I told you to wait in the house for me or for your ShuShu!” Jiang Cheng scolded him. “Why didn’t you listen to me?! Why did you run straight to the most dangerous place in the forest?!”
“Because…” Jin Ling sniffed, tearing up again. “Because ShuShu wasn't going to come here anyway! I told him I was spending New Year's here! I only called him, so he'd help me make decorations, tell me the names of the foods JiuJiu likes and find a place with a big firework show like at Koi Tower, so we could celebrate New Year's together! Stupid JiuJiu! How could I sit in my room and wait for him! What if Little Fairy had fallen down the scary cliff? I wanted to help her. I even took Suihua with me, but I lost it. In the end, the cliff was so dark when I looked down. I couldn’t see anything. I tried climbing up that tree to get a better look. I held onto it very tightly… I didn’t think I’d fall off the trunk!”
He started bawling his eyes out. “It’s all JiuJiu’s fault! I wouldn’t have lost Little Fairy if you had celebrated New Year’s with me! I wouldn’t have left to go back to ShuShu and Fairy wouldn’t have gotten scared from the fireworks and run away! But you didn’t ask to put up the decorations I made. Or cook anything from the drawings I left on the kitchen counter. You didn’t even go to see the fireworks with me! You just went to bed! You didn’t even give me any presents!”
Jiang Cheng had formed a retort, but it died on his lips. He lowered his head. Dealing with his emotions, he had forgotten to consider Jin Ling’s. Being sure he wouldn’t want to celebrate New Year’s with him, he had dismissed all the signs Jin Ling left for him, returned to his room, thinking Jin Guangyao coming to pick him up was only a matter of time and had fallen asleep. He hadn’t considered the possibility that he had prepared all those things to celebrate New Year’s with him.
Jiang Cheng pulled him against his chest, hugging him and Little Fairy, who had started licking the tears off Jin Ling’s face.
“We’ll do it tomorrow.” He said, pressing a small kiss on the top of Jin Ling’s head. “We’ll properly catch up on all the New Year’s celebrations tomorrow.”
Jin Ling nodded, but he didn’t stop crying no matter how much Jiang Cheng tried to calm him down. Only when he was so tired that his eyelids became heavy and he couldn’t sit up straight anymore, did the tears stop flowing down his cheeks. Jiang Cheng picked him up and carried him back to the summer house, while Wen Ning took Little Fairy. They found Suihua in the snow lying near a couple of bushes a short distance away from the cliff. It seemed it wasn’t lost after all.
When they reached the summer house, Wen Ning put Little Fairy back on the ground and gently pushed her to follow Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling inside. He himself didn’t step through the backdoor. He only lowered his head, turned around and sat down on the porch.
***
When Jiang Cheng came back outside, Wen Ning was still sitting on the porch with his hands folded in his lap. His silhouette cut sharply against the white porch and backyard, as he watched the snowflakes slowly sail to the ground. Jiang Cheng walked up next to him and took a deep breath, but Wen Ning didn’t notice. Only when he took the blanket tucked in his arms and gently draped it over Wen Ning’s shoulders, did he blink out of his trance and turn his head towards him, before quickly lowering his lashes.
“How is Jin Ling?” He asked quietly.
Snow had fallen on Wen Ning’s hair and ears, covering them in soft white flakes. For a moment, Jiang Cheng wanted to brush them off, but then he turned to the spot next to Wen Ning and using his sleeve wiped the snow off the porch instead. He sat down next to him and turned his head towards the forest.
“Better.” He said. “He just fell asleep. Fairy is keeping him company. Luckily, he didn’t get hurt.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Wen Ning smile gently. “It’s nothing.”
For a while they sat next to each other in silence, staring out into the tall, dark forest. A cold breeze blew through the trees, brushing a little snow off the high branches and sending a small shiver through Jiang Cheng. Wen Ning took the blanket off his shoulder and draped it over Jiang Cheng’s.
“It was the cliff, wasn’t it?” Jiang Cheng asked suddenly, turning his head towards him.
Wen Ning flinched and pulled his hands back to his lap. A small nod and the deep sadness that settled in his eyes were the only reply he gave.
Jiang Cheng clenched his jaw and dug his fingers in his own thighs. His father had always warned him against taking Wen Ning to the forest to play, but he had never listened. It was no wonder he had ended up carelessly running into the forest that day.
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly.
Deep down he had always known it was his fault but had been unwilling to accept it.
Wen Ning shook his head, sending a couple of snowflakes trickling down his hair and ears. “It’s fine.”
He quickly tried to change the topic. “Jiang Cheng, I think I figured out why my form is unstable.” He said. “I think it has to do with you.”
“What do you mean?” Jiang Cheng asked, snapping out of his thoughts.
Wen Ning lowered his head and fumbled with the hems of his sleeves. “After the fight we had in front of the dog hut, I became invisible. I only got my physical form back, when you called out to me in the forest earlier… I think I can only be visible when deep down you want me here.”
Jiang Cheng wasn’t convinced by that explanation but didn’t argue with him. He took a deep breath.
“Wen Ning,” he said instead. “Jin Ling and I are leaving after the holidays. Work is piling up at Lotus Pier and my disciples are waiting for me. Jin Ling’s uncle is waiting for him at Lanling as well. I already called someone else over to finish renovating the summer house in my place.”
“Oh…”
A snowflake fell on the back of Wen Ning’s hand. The contours of his finger slowly started to fade, the tips becoming see-through. Jiang Cheng quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
“Before I leave, I’ll build a fence in front of the cliff and put up a sigh,” he continued. “To prevent anyone else from falling down. I will also… change the characters on the nameplate above the dog hut. I can’t give Fairy a place with someone else’s name on it. And there’s also still the celebrations.”
Wen Ning lifted his head, but Jiang Cheng had already turned his gaze away from him to hide the blush rising to his cheeks.
“Does this mean…”
“You better use the next couple of days to get your things in order.” Jiang Cheng tried to cut him off, only for Wen Ning to continue, as if he had never been interrupted.
“Does this mean I can celebrate with you and come to Lotus Pier… with you afterwards?”
“...” Jiang Cheng squeezed Wen Ning’s hand tighter, hoping to mask the trembling of his own. “Don’t make me say it.”
Slowly the colour returned to Wen Ning’s fingers, and their contours sharpened again. The corners of his lips turned up in a shy smile.
“Is it really okay for me to come to Lotus Pier?” He asked.
“It will be.” Jiang Cheng reassured him. “It will be.”
Wen Ning’s eyes lit up, becoming more vibrant than they had been in a long time. His tail started wagging, thumping against the porch, and whirling up the snow. Jiang Cheng bit the inside of his cheek and lowered his head even further as the blush on his face darkened. He cursed quietly.
Before Jiang Cheng could tell Wen Ning to calm down, he had already leaned closer and licked his cheek. “I like you.” Wen Ning said quietly. “I really, really like you.”
All Jiang Cheng could do was let Wen Ning lick his cheek, as he raised his other hand to gently pat his head like he used to do in the past.
***
The air was filled with the chirping of cicadas, accompanied by the singing of starlings hidden in the tall birch trees and the lazy rustling of leaves, tickled by the warm summer breeze. The pavement in front of the house was radiating heat that seeped through the soles of the little boy’s shoes, as he squatted in front of the bin. It was lying on its side, revealing a tiny black puppy curled up at the bottom, his head nestled between his legs, his chest rising and falling peacefully as he slept.
Jiang Fengmian peered over his five-year-old son’s shoulder. “How did he get in here?” He asked.
Startled by the voice, the puppy’s eyelids fluttered open. A pair of big, round eyes filled with fear and a hint of curiosity stared straight at the little boy. Jiang Cheng blinked but didn’t move away. A sad loneliness was floating in the depths of the puppy’s black eyes that Jiang Cheng could neither put into words nor fully understand but had already touched the depths of his heart. He turned to his father.
"Baba, can we keep him?"
