Work Text:
Philip dared a glance beneath him and jerked his head up, regretting it instantly. How far would he fall, conscious and terrified, before slamming into a rock or the frozen ground?
The optimist in him tried to guess how deep the snow might be and whether it would be enough to leave him with bruises and broken bones instead of dashing him into pieces on impact.
Alan lay on his stomach, his upper body hanging over the edge of the cliff, both hands wrapped tightly around Philip's. At least when Philip fell, he could close his eyes and keep Alan's handsome face as the last thing he'd ever see.
Alan slipped forward, small rocks and snow pouring over the side as he slid closer to falling himself. He suddenly looked less afraid, which amazed Philip, and instead squared his jaw. Determination was winning out over fear.
Stubborn to the end.
Philip shook his head and tried to smile reassuringly up at him. "Let go, Alan," Philip said, struggling to sound calm and sure. "Let me go."
"If you fall, I fall," Alan shouted back, less calm. "Use your feet if you can."
Philip carefully tried to touch his feet to the rock, but he couldn't reach. Alan shifted, just as he'd feared. He closed his eyes to picture Alan's face the day they met, in his room, fielding Philip's questions like someone uncertain about the angle of the questioner.
Frozen rock sliced through his trousers and scored his thigh as Alan grunted and dragged him up and over the cliff. The pain grounded him as Alan hauled him away from the edge, until they sat with their backs against the mountain. Alan's arm around his waist held him in place.
They both sucked in air as if they'd run miles.
Philip didn't know where Alan had found the strength to pull him up on his own, but as impossible as it seemed, he felt like he shouldn't be surprised. Alan was an uncommon man, so he should have known everything would be alright.
"Your leg." Alan pressed above the tear in his trousers to pull the hole open. The red lines didn't bleed much, probably because of the cold, but a few dark dots stained the fabric.
Philip covered Alan's hand with his own. "It's nothing. Just a scratch."
They stared at each other, then Alan's hand turned beneath his and held tight. He leaned closer. "So you'll be able to walk?"
A laugh bubbled out of Philip. He could walk, but the thought of Alan carrying him held a certain appeal.
Alan smiled and leaned in even more as if he were privy to Philip's thoughts. He dragged his lips across Philip's, pulling a gasp from them both, before he rested their foreheads together.
As Philip had dangled off the edge of the cliff, anticipating his looming death, he'd been furious at himself. They'd found poor Dewhurst, headless and frozen, and he and Alan had left the others to investigate the sounds Philip heard that he thought might be someone running away.
They'd been too distant when the edge crumbled for anyone to come running and help Alan. Philip had cursed himself, especially when Alan grabbed him and wouldn't let go, putting himself at risk.
Sitting there with his hand in Alan's, their shared breath warming the scant inch between their mouths, Philip was grateful for what felt like a stolen moment. One that, no matter what happened for the rest of the trip, would always be the most important, memorable event of his time spent near the Trollenberg.
Philip whispered. "Yes, Alan, I can walk. And if you do that again, I'm quite sure I can do cartwheels all the way back."
Alan's breath warmed his face as he laughed. "That might raise a few eyebrows."
"Probably."
Alan touched Philip's jaw, his thumb brushing over his cheek. "I'll risk it."
He kissed Philip, this time more than a brush of lips but a deep kiss that made Philip feel as if he'd started to float above the cold rock he sat on. The image of Alan carrying him popped into his head again.
Alan stood and held his hands out to grasp Philip's. "Ready to do cartwheels?" He pulled Philip up.
"I'm suddenly so weak in the knees, I'll do well to manage walking."
"We'll make it, but I don't mind the flattery." Alan beamed and pulled Philip tight against him with an arm around his waist. "I've got you."
Philip let himself gaze at Alan the way he didn't dare risk around other people. He examined the details of his face, better now without the fear for Philip that showed before. "I know."
They walked slower than Philip's leg required, reluctant for their moment alone to end.