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Excalibur (A.k.a. Little Kingsman)

Summary:

Through a series of tragic events, one Eggsy Unwin comes to the attention of Harry Hart 12 years early. Too bad it doesn't stop him from becoming the top spy his age. Crossover with Robert Muchamore's CHERUB series, where a secret organisation takes in orphans in order to train them to be secret agents.

Even as life knocks him around as a kid Eggsy bounces back with spectacular results.

Also known as "This is how Merlin loses his hair"

Notes:

Hello, this is my first fic in Kingsman fandom, I hope you like it. :)

This is a what-if Eggsy came to the attention of the Kingsmen 12 years too early?
I intended for this to be an action-adventure fic that starts out rather angsty, but my natural inclination to comedy intervened - so expect this to turn much more light-hearted later on. I’m having far too much fun with fights scenes, it appears.

Based closely on Robert Muchamore's Cherub series - a wonderful concept about a secret organisation (sounds familiar?) that trains orphan children to be top-notch secret agents, who are engaged world-wide by different agencies for difficult operations when the adults can't make headway. Children are far more capable than adults think they are. All references belong to Robert Muchamore, this work is completely not for profit. In fact, please go read his series, you won't regret it.

Completely, unabashedly wish-fulfillment from a childhood weaned on a steady literary diet of Secret Seven and Famous Five books. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Harry Hart is not prepared to raise a son. Eggsy is not ready to accept a father. They both love the spy business, so perhaps they can be friends. Eggsy is 10 years old here, and Harry is still a dashing 30.

Un-betaed, drop me a line in the comments or a kudo if you enjoy this chapter, it would be much appreciated. I will try to update this fic once a week on Mondays, as I write on weekends.

Chapter 1: The Tragedy

Chapter Text

Chapter 1 - The Tragedy

 

The sun was beginning to set as Eggsy made his way home from school, his bag heavy on his arm when he heard the shouting from his house. His Mum, Dean and him lived in a run-down apartment complex, and he could see his step-father's goons loitering outside their front door under the flickering fluorescent lights.

"Looks like yer Mumsy's havin' a row with Dean, boy" sneered one of his goons, leaning against the parapet outside his door, smoking a ciggy. The one always hanging about and kissing his step dad's arse. "You gonna get beat."

Eggsy was smart - knew that there wasn't much a 10 year boy could do against a fully-grown man, but heaven help him if Dean laid a finger on his Mum. Feeling a hot rage bubbling up from inside him, jammed his key into the lock and launched himself in as fast as he could. Dean would fight with his Mum often, mainly over the business that he conducted in the house, and her need to not have drugs around her young son. He would hit her, Eggsy would jump to her defense, only to be battered about helplessly by the much larger man.

Not that it stopped him every time. It happened so often that the overworked teachers at the primary school stopped asking questions on where he got his bruises from, hearing the same excuses each time - oh he missed a landing at gymnastics, oh he fell down the stairs. It was not uncommon to see battered children in the more dodgy suburbs of London. But Eggsy would never stop mouthing off, anything to take Dean's attention off his Mum.

Bags of weed lay scattered messily over the coffee table, the TV blaring loudly in the background. Michelle Unwin was shouting, nursing a black eye while arguing with Dean like so many fights before - the only difference this time - Eggsy noted with fury - was that his Mum was bleeding from a cut along her forearm. Courtesy of the kitchen knife Dean was holding.

Wide-eyed, his Mum finally noticed his presence, turning to warn him – which proved to be her final mistake. His stepfather grew even more incensed when he realized he was being ignored, rammed the kitchen knife into her back. Stunned by this turn of events, Dean released the knife, still jammed in her back. Blood bubbled up to her lips. She tottered, looking stunned at the tip of the knife protruded from her breastbone. "Eggsy?"

Shocked, Eggsy could do nothing but to stand there and stare.

"Eggsy, run!" She turned to grapple with his step-father, a final burst of strength from a protective mother.

The unexpectedly forceful shout jolted him out of his daze, and he bolted out the open front door, dodging his step-father's goons as he ran out into the night.

 


 

 

Harry's earwig warbled, indicating an incoming call. "Sir, we have a situation at the Unwin house."

"What is it?"

"Our scanners have caught the address on police frequencies. Police alert indicates that there has been a domestic and possible homicide, one dead female. Neighbors called it in when the situation escalated. "

Harry cursed under his breath. He had just completed a two-week long mission and was en-route back to headquarters from Heathrow Airport after a red-eye flight.

"Has the pass phrase been used at all?"

"No sir, not yet."

"Any suspects?"

"One Dean Bell, whereabouts unknown, currently wanted by the police for questioning. Quick check of his criminal background indicates he has several priors for drug possession, never convicted. Possibly a supplier."

"What happened to the son?"

"Son, sir?"

"Yes, she had a son."

"No news, sir. His whereabouts are also unknown."

"Focus on the son and get me his location. Driver, turn this car around. We have a new destination." The jet-black black Bentley swung around, tire squealing against the asphalt.

"But sir, we can't intervene unless we have the passphrase!"

"Bugger the pass phrase, get me his location. And get Merlin on the line."

 


 

 

Eggsy's breath burned in his lungs, the cold autumn air making every breath a painful stab. He sprinted along the empty park, the streetlights slowing coming on in the falling gloom.

Shouts and footsteps rattled after him. "Get that brat! He saw the whole damn thing!"

His vision blurred as sobs caught in his throat, thinking of his Mum. He forced himself to shove the thought away - to focus on not being caught. He leapt over a divider, into a tunnel lit with florescent light and advertisements, his legs burning with the strain. Knowing he couldn't keep running forever, he ducked away into a couple of bushes in the dark, hand cupped over his mouth to keep himself quiet.

Several men dashed past his position, boots clomping heavily as they passed further and further away.

As he willed his heart to stop pounding out of his chest, Eggsy froze in the same position for a few minutes, praying that no one found his hiding place. After a moment, just as he was sure he had gotten away, he yelped - a huge fist had closed around the back of his collar, dangling him like a small puppy in front of the last person he wanted to see, foul, rank breath gusted in his face.

"Miss me, Eggsy?" grinned Dean. Eggsy yelled and kicked ineffectually at the huge swarthy man, small fists swinging wildly. A hard slap to his face made stars appear behind his eyes.

"Nuh uh uh, can't have ye spilling what ye saw back there"

"You killed her! You fucking bastard you killed her!"

A fist slammed into his mouth, splitting his lip and spilling coppery blood across his tongue. "Say it any louder, can you?"

As he dragged the smaller blond boy behind him, Dean whistled for his goons to return. The suburban park was deserted, empty concrete playgrounds without children. He slammed Eggsy against the side of a concrete tunnel. "Now listen up, I don't want no trouble with the authorities, and I don't want to have to , er hem, eliminate another witness. So what say you to shutting the fuck up, and not go about spillin' them beans to 'e coppers."

"Fucking fuck you!"

"I thought you might say that." A meaty fist adorned with rings filled his vision.

 

 


 

 

A perfunctionary tap on his radio prefaced Merlin's deep voice. "I heard someone has been rattling the switchboard operators tonight," the head Tech commented dryly. "Thought you might appreciate a bit more backup o' this end. Now what has gotten your knickers all up in a twist?"

"Lee Unwin's family is in danger. His wife has just been killed and his son is missing. I'm presuming he is in danger, his stepfather is a real piece of work. I need the boy's location."

"...And I'm getting you his location. Bringing up his ID now, one young mister Gary Lee Unwin, and cross-referencing with any CCTV cameras in the area. Give it a mo."

"Thanks Merlin."

"Don't thank me yet till we find him - yes we have a hit. Our young man was last seen ten minutes ago, at the intersection of Cross Street and St. Maines, headed towards the park. He is being pursued by 6 men." There was a pause. "It doesn't look good, Harry."

"Get me there now."

"Acknowledged. Get the bastard."

 


 

 

Eggsy lost track of the time Dean has spent beating his head in. His head lolled. Shit, this really might be the end of it for him. His vision blurred as his head pounded heavily. Tears dripped from his face as he realised that he might be joining his mum in the afterlife soon.

"Just say you won't be selling me out to the cops, I don't want to have to kill a kid, but I will if I need to."

Jesus, was this how he was going to die? Thought Eggsy, I really really don't want to die. Please. No. Please. He gritted his teeth and yelled "Fuck you! I hope the police find my body and pin it all on you!"

He flinched as Dean drew his bloodied knuckles for one last blow "Why you little -" Eggsy clenched his eyes shut and waited for the end.

In that moment, a truly massive black car burst through the poorly-trimmed hedges of the park, its brakes squealing to a halt in front of the group of men.

Huh, thought Eggsy, must be a hallucination.

There was a pause as all of the men in the clearing stared in surprise.

Maybe not, he decided.

The gang froze as a slim, elegant silhouette exited the rear of the vehicle, calmly walking till the spotlight of the streetlamp revealed a sharply-dressed gentleman with thick tortoiseshell frames, wielding an umbrella.

"Good evening, gentlemen."

"Wha-What the fuck, Get out of here old man, you don't want to get yerself involved in this shite.", shouted Dean. "Get rid of this tosser boys."

The unknown man raised a hand, "Excuse me for interrupting your... entertainment, but I have business with that young man." He gestured at Eggsy, who was still dangling from Dean’s grip.

"What, Eggsy?" The goons look puzzled. Beats me, Eggsy shrugged as much as he could, I don't know him either.

"Ah yes, hello Eggsy. It’s been a while. What's the pass phrase?"

"Whuh?" His tongue was swollen in his mouth, slurring his words. The man strolled closer, but there was something familiar about his calm genial face. He stopped right in front of Dean, who was puzzled enough to let him close, leaning in to hear Eggsy’s response.

Was this guy suicidal or what? Couldn’t he see he was in trouble? Eggsy grated out as well as he could. “Get out of here please, they will really hurt you Mister.”

It might have been a trick of the light, but Eggsy though he saw the man’s expression soften. "The pass phrase, Eggsy, the one that I told your mother when I gave you that medal?" The medal? Eggsy thought immediately to the medal dangling on the necklace under his bloodstained school shirt.

"The one that you need to say when you need help. The first word is Oxfords - "

"’ow am I supposed to remember stuff like that!"

"Focus! Oxfords - "

"Oxfords? Oh oh I know ! Oxfords, not brogues! Oxfords, not brogues!"

"Good boy." Harry turns to the men watching, smile becoming predatory, and cracks his knuckles. "Now watch and learn."

Without missing a beat, he smashed the heavy hand of his umbrella into Dean’s meaty face, stunning him and causing him to drop the 10 year old boy to the ground.

“Now for a lesson in Manners.” He grabbed Dean by the hair, and hauled the larger man up easily to eye level.

“A gentleman responds in kind when wished a good evening.” He smashes the man’s face against the concrete pipe.

“A gentleman does not lay a hand on women,” Another smash, this time leaving red smears on the surface.

“- nor on children.” There was a sickly crunch as red pulped and blood splattered up on his glasses. Dean slid to the ground, possibly unconscious or dead.

Eggsy really hoped for the latter.

The man turned to face the shocked goons. “Are we going to stand around all evening, or are we going to fight?” They shook off their stupor and launched themselves at him with a battle cry.

It was so fucking awesome, thought Eggsy, as he watched his unnamed hero wading though the group of men, elegantly and gracefully smashing faces to a pulp. He caught an attacker in a complex hold and did a 360 suplex on the man, turning him a full rotation before slamming him back on the concrete ground. Ducking knife thrusts left and right, he sent another man reeling with a upward palm thrust to the jaw, clicking his teeth shut.

Another goon pulled a gun out where it was tucked in the back of his trousers and took aim – but the man merely opened up an umbrella, blocking the gunshots. A simple twist of the handle and something shot out from the end of the cane, stunning the goon.

All too soon the playground was quiet. The man straightened up from his defensive crouch, and turned towards Eggsy.

Eggsy struggled to stand up from where he was dropped but the floor started to spin on him, darkness clouded in from the edge of his vision, head throbbing heavily.

“Eggsy?” His rescuer sounded concerned as he took a step towards the swaying boy. “Are you alright?”

 

Eyes rolling up into his head, Eggsy passed out.