Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Chapter One: Only Fools Do What I Do

Beep beep. Beep beep. The shrill tone of his alarm sounds loudly in the quiet of his bedroom. With a low groan of protest, he peels his eyes open and feels around for his buzzing cell phone. Normally he doesn’t dread waking up, and most people likely would be excited to wake up and fly to Hawaii, but Hoseok isn’t most people, and he’s dreading having to face all of the conflicting emotions he ordinarily ignores in favour of being productive. He knows this “vacation” is going to be taxing, even though he shouldn’t think about his best friend’s wedding like that. 

For just a few quiet moments, he’ll let himself be mopey and tired. When his plane touches down, he’ll put a mask on and be his typical happy, cheerful self that all of Jimin and Taehyung’s family and friends know him to be. He won’t show them just how torn up he is on the inside. He knows that he’s going to have to face the numerous prying questions, the whispers behind his back, the glances between him and Yoongi, and he doesn’t have it in him yet, or maybe ever. 

He lets out a heavy sigh and presses his pillow to his face. His nose wrinkles at the smell-- when was the last time he washed his pillowcase? He’s been so busy with work lately that he’s hardly been home and he detests that his apartment cleanliness is suffering from it. 

That ends up being the push he needs to get out of bed. Getting up to face a wedding crowd is daunting and a little bit terrifying, but getting up to clean his home certainly isn’t. Tidying up and organizing is always calming to him, so maybe it’s just what he needs to get through the morning. He stands from his bed, collecting the pillowcases, sheets, and bedding into his arms before trudging down the hallway to his washer. He loads it and starts it before carrying on with his typical morning routine: brushing his teeth, showering, shaving, skincare. He does all of this very attentively, trying to block out any thoughts of what the day will bring. 

Once he’s done with the usual things, he methodically begins to clean: he dusts all of the shelves, cleans all of the surfaces, scrubs the bathroom from floor to ceiling, sweeps, mops, vacuums, rounds up household laundry, and then neatly folds everything as it comes out of the dryer. It’s a successful time killer, and looking around seeing his spotless apartment, he feels better on the inside. It’ll be nice returning home to a clean apartment. 

A glance at the clock tells him that he still has about fifteen minutes before he has to leave. If he still lived in Doksan with Yoongi, he would have already had to have left to get to the airport on time. It’s been almost a year since they’ve broken up and he moved out, and yet he still hasn’t adjusted to his shorter commute from Songdo. He used to give himself about fifty minutes to an hour to get to the airport, and the habit is so deeply ingrained in him that he always feels like he’s running just slightly late whenever he leaves later than he used to. 

It’s at this moment that he really wishes things had gone a different direction with Minji. Of course, he wishes that often since their breakup last month, but right now… he wouldn’t be attending this event alone if they’d lasted. He stares at his suitcase, checking to make sure he’s got everything he needs, but gets lost in the reminders of his last relationship, if you could even call it that. They ended before they even had a chance to begin. 

“Minji-yah, have you ever wanted to go to Hawaii?” he asks, trailing a hand down her naked backside, brushing her long, wavy locks away from the base of her spine. She shivers against his chest, giving him an excited smile. 

“Of course I have. Is this you asking me on a trip? I thought you’d never ask!” she exclaims, playfully poking his collar bone with her manicured nail. “I can’t wait to have mind blowing sex on the beach.” 

Hoseok hums in affirmation, nudging his thigh between hers. The soft skin of her thighs is silky smooth as his slides through them. He can feel the wetness there, and the temptation to taste is a hard one to resist, but he needs to muster up his courage to ask her things before proceeding with round two. 

“Consider that a standing offer,” he murmurs, flashing her a genuine smile. “The trip to Hawaii would be a little more than a vacation, though,” he elaborates, bringing his other hand up to her cheek. Her brown eyes gleam with intrigue. “Do you know my friends that I’ve talked about, Jimin and Taehyung?” A nod from her is enough for him to continue on. “They’re about to get married, and since same sex marriage still isn’t acknowledged here, they’re doing it on foreign soil. I was hoping you’d like to come with me… as my girlfriend,” he asks, the slightest hesitation in his words exposing his nerves. 

They only get more intense as she blinks, shocked, and purses her lips before flicking her gaze away from his. That’s honestly all of the answer he needed. They’ve only seen each other five times over the past two weeks, but she’s the only one since Yoongi who’s ever made him want something more than just sex. It’s too soon, and he knows it all too well watching her pull away from him. He can feel his already tired heart race, not in a good way. 

“Oppa, I… I really like you, but I don’t think I can do that,” she says, offering him a sympathetic smile. She pulls the bed sheets against chest her, adjusting to sit off to Hoseok’s side. He naturally moves with her to accommodate the movement, but he hates that he feels her less and less as she speaks. 

“We don’t have to rush it,” he says, hoping this won’t be another end for him. He loves hearing her talk about her dance studio, and the hobbies she does to fill her time. If she leaves now, he’s already invested enough that he’s going to miss her. They have all the same interests, the same political views, the same relative outlook on life. He’s not sure exactly how their long term life goals line up, but he wants to have those conversations with her someday. On paper, they seem perfect together. “I really like you, too.” 

She sighs softly and doesn’t meet his eyes, and she doesn’t accept his hand when he tries to grab hers. He feels his hopes plummet entirely to rock bottom at her body language and almost wishes he could just run away before she has the ability to say anything more. He doesn’t want to hear it. “Oppa, I just… I don’t think we’d make a good permanent match. We’re great in bed, but you’re just not… someone to commit to?” 

The words cut like a knife, sharp and cold as steel. It jabs right into one of his weakest spots, one of his biggest insecurities after him. He can feel the wetness welling in his eyes despite his attempt to blink it away. “Oh no, that came out so harsh, I’m sorry!” she exclaims, bringing a hand to her lips. “I just mean… like, what we have right now is good. It’s casual, and you’re really nice, but… if we go to a wedding together, I’m not going to know anybody besides you and I’m sure people will ask us those typical questions like when are we getting married, have we talked about it, all of that stuff, and I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now. I don’t think I could ever see us being serious in the future.” The more she talks, the more upset he feels and he’s reminded just how painful relationships ending can be. He remembers when it was Yoongi, saying the words that burned up his entire dream of the future like a picture wilting and turning to ash in a fire. This is nowhere near the same scale, and he'd probably be able to walk away from this unscathed, but her words only add fuel to the fire Yoongi started in his heart. "I think you're really sweet and genuine, but I get really clingy in relationships. I think I would need someone... else..." 

With a shaky exhale, he sits up and turns his back to her. He can tell his reaction makes it worse, and she nervously keeps talking, only making it worse. Hoseok knows her well enough to know she doesn’t mean to be hurtful and that this moment, she’s putting her foot in her mouth trying to make it better, but it’s hitting him where he’s weakest. She doesn’t even know that some of her words are an echo of what was said to him before, but that doesn’t make it easier for him to deal with. If anything, it proves them right. “It’s just… you’re barely home, y’know? You’re away with work more often than home, and… I’m not… confident enough to be alone that much in a serious relationship,” she says, trying to touch his shoulder, but he shrugs her off. “You could literally have anyone you wanted, any girl, any guy… in any country. I don't think you're the type who would ever act on that, but I think I would always worry because of my own insecurities. I can’t compete with that, it would eat me alive, oppa. I’m sorry,” she whispers, awkwardly patting the shoulder he tried to shrug her off of. 

“I get it,” he snaps, getting up from the bed. He runs a hand through his hair in attempt to soothe himself, but guilt already pools in his stomach at his behaviour. “I'm sorry, Minji-yah... maybe you should just go.” All he can think about is how twice over now, the life he wanted is falling apart. He didn’t even have high expectations here, yet it stirred everything up. This relationship didn’t even stand a chance. Really, what was Hoseok thinking? Why was he so ready to let himself be hurt again? What kind of an idiot asks what he asked of her? Of course it was too soon. The relationship was too new to attend a wedding, especially since she hadn’t even met his friends yet. It was doomed to fail, all because of him. She never even saw him as a potential boyfriend, let alone anything more. He's not the kind of person someone would want for more than just a good lay. 

Present day Hoseok hangs his head in his hand, really wishing the whole wedding thing wasn’t such a blatant reminder of everything he wanted and how he doesn’t have it. Not anymore. It hurts, it hurts too much to breathe. Yoongi, Minji… he just really isn’t cut out for relationships. He loves his job. Ever since he was little, his dream was always to fly a plane. He had other interests that were promising, like dance, but he always came back to the dream of flying. It wasn’t until he was older that he had more dreams… like getting married and having a family. While he achieved his first dream, none of the others seem possible anymore. He could even his schedule out, make it less crazy and adjust it to be home more, but... people will always be strangely threatened by the fact that he can be across the world in a day, and that his job isn't a typical 9-5. Maybe what he had with Yoongi was the best he’d ever have, and his greediness for more made him lose it. Maybe now, the best he’ll ever have are one night stands with strangers in strange places. 

He bites his lower lip and shakes his head. He can’t afford to dwell on his broken heart. Jimin and Taehyung magically managed to make a relationship work, despite all of their hardships and occasional bouts of long-distance. Their wedding is in a matter of days. They’re making it past the point Hoseok did, and he should be happy for them. Love may not be for him or for everyone, but at least his friends have it. Maybe he can live vicariously through them because he’s sure as hell that’s better than trying again only to walk away with more bitter memories and scars he pretends not to have. 

Besides, this isn't about him. He's not going to let his complicated feelings taint a beautiful week celebrating a beautiful couple. They aren't trying to drudge up painful memories or stir the pot. This event has been planned for well over a year, and it has been planned longer than Hoseok and Yoongi have been broken up. It's just one week where he will have to save face, and then he can move on without any imminent reminders in the future to hold him back. 

With a deep breath, he snaps his suitcase closed and pushes all thoughts away. He is confident that he has everything he needs. He packed last night after returning home from work and was sure to be thorough and thoughtful with his choices. Besides, he’s gotten used to traveling with minimal luggage. It actually feels rather strange having more than his usual pilot bag and compact carry on. He almost feels naked not having his pilot bag, if he’s 100% honest with himself. It’s been at least over a year since the last time he’s flown anywhere on a strictly vacation basis. Even for this trip, he’d been tempted to request working the Seoul-Honolulu flight path and just spend his days off in Hawaii, but it was Jimin who told him that he’s not allowed to work the flight to or from, that he needed a break, and he was too tired to argue the point (which only proved him right, anyway). 

As if summoned from his thoughts, his phone rings with Jimin’s specific ringtone-- some popular male idol group song-- and he taps the answer button. 

“Hey,” he answers, pressing the phone to his ear as he zips his suitcase and locks it. 

“Hello, hyung!” the other man’s voice greets. “You’re just about to leave for your flight, right?” he asks.

“What are you doing, stalking me?” he asks, an air of playfulness manifesting at the sound of his best friend’s voice. He might be miserable, but Jimin always manages to distract him without really even trying. 

“Pfft, you wish,” he quips back. 

“Oh, totally, we both were,” Taehyung chimes in on the other end of the line. 

A chuckle naturally falls past his lips as he leaves his bedroom. “Aigoo, you two are something else. What’s up?” 

“Well, there are two things,” Jimin says, his voice taking on a cautious tone. That's the same tone he always uses when he's about to say something he knows Hoseok won't like, ranging from accidentally dyeing his white button down pink by washing it with something red back when they shared an apartment together to the time Jimin went to the hospital because he broke his leg falling down the stairs of their old building. It has the same reaction every time: it makes nerves and dread pool in Hoseok’s stomach. 

“What are they?” he asks, voice copying his best friend’s tone. 

“The first thing is easy enough. We’re hoping you can rescue my idiot best man,” Taehyung opts to say, voice easily sounding the most relaxed, which helps Hoseok relax in turn. 

“Rescue… how?” he asks, intrigued. 

“Wait, hyung, do you even remember Taehyung’s cousin, Kim Namjoon?” Jimin asks, already sounding normal enough. Hoseok feels a little stupid for feeling so anxious, but he blames his best friend for working him up. 

It takes him a second, but so much time has passed since the last time he saw him, so he doesn’t feel too bad about it. Not only that, but Hoseok’s been pretty out of the loop with the wedding planning and best man duties both because of his crazy work schedule and because both of his friends felt the need to shelter him a bit. This isn’t the first time he’s heard about Namjoon, and he knows that he is Taehyung’s best man, but he hasn’t given it too much thought. If anything, he avoided it a lot because he suspects that Taehyung chose Namjoon to be his best man instead of Yoongi, because of their breakup, so the whole thing makes him feel slightly uncomfortable and guilty. “Yeah! The one with the glasses, right? He was always carrying a book,” he answers them, flicking off all of the lights in his apartment. Hoseok never really had a chance to get super close to Namjoon, since shortly after he met him, he was about to finish his degree abroad somewhere in the US. 

“That’s him alright,” Taehyung says with a laugh. 

In the background, he can hear Jimin say, “I told you he’d remember him.”

“Why do I need to rescue him?” Hoseok asks, adjusting his messenger bag over his shoulders. 

“The long story short is that he’s running late. He’s supposed to come in on the same flight as you, but he’s still in line waiting to check his bag. He’s not even to security yet, and the boarding is in like, an hour. Would you be able to find him and take him through flight crew security with you so he doesn’t miss the plane?” Jimin asks him, voice pleading slightly. 

Hoseok just laughs, completely caught off guard by the request. “I always knew it was a matter of time before you’d ask me for travel perks,” he says, keeping his tone lighthearted. “I just never thought it would be on behalf of someone else. That’s fine. Text me his number and I’ll find him and ‘rescue’ him for you.” 

“Thanks hyung, you’re the best!” they both exclaim, perfectly in sync as they always are. It brings a genuine smile to his lips. He missed them quite a lot, and it will be nice to see them again soon. 

“Don’t mention it,” he says, glad that it’s such an easy task to complete.

“Noted,” Jimin responds, pausing. “The second thing is… harder,” he admits. 

“How so?” Hoseok asks, placing his luggage in his car before getting in the car himself. 

“This time it’s about Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung answers for his fiancé. 

The nerves come back tenfold, but he finds the strength to answer, “What about him?” 

“Do you know how we gave you the option of bringing a plus one?” Jimin drags out the question, clearly beating around the bush and reluctant to actually say what he's getting at. 

“Mhm,” he says, not trusting his voice to not quiver or give away what he’s feeling. It’s obvious where this is going, and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. 

“Well we know you’re not bringing one, obviously,” Jimin says, and it sounds like Taehyung elbows him in the background, based on the grunt his ex-roommate lets out. 

“What my soon-to-be-husband is trying to get at is that Yoongi-hyung is bringing a plus one, and we wanted to warn you,” Taehyung says, ripping the metaphorical bandaid off. “Nobody’s met him yet and this is the first time hyung’s even said anything about him so there's not much to tell. All we know is that his name is Jeon Jungkook. We swear that if we knew sooner, we would have told you sooner. We're both really surprised by it, so we can only imagine how you're feeling. Are you going to be okay?”

It would be a lie to say it doesn’t hurt, even though he has dated and slept around since their breakup, too. Yoongi was always so different with relationships compared to Hoseok, though, so it shakes him to his core. He never bothered with anyone he didn't seriously like, and usually it takes him a long time to develop feelings. The idea that he's already found someone else is a painful shock. He can’t help the sharp inhale of breath he takes. He hates it, though. He hates how raw he still feels about the whole thing, and how much it shows. This isn’t about him, though. This wedding is about his two favourite people in the world, so he’s going to be okay. He has to be. “Yeah,” he says, managing to keep an even tone. It’s easier over the phone than it would be in person. “Anyway, I’m driving now so I should probably go. I’ll text you as soon as I find Namjoon, okay? See you soon.” 

“Bye, hyung! We owe you big time. I’ll have cocktails waiting for you when you get here.”

“Have a safe flight, keep watch over my idiot cousin for me,” Taehyung says, clearly trying to lighten the mood. 

"You got it, talk to you later!" he replies before the call is disconnected, and Hoseok feels like he can breathe easier. 

He’s an expert at driving one handed, so driving was just an excuse to hang up, and they both probably know it. He’s grateful they didn’t call him out on that fact, though. He appreciates them for everything they’ve done for him over the years, but especially after the breakup. 

The rest of the drive passes by frighteningly fast, considering he's stewing in all kinds of thoughts he'd rather not. Maybe it only feels like it goes by fast because he's dreading this, and he'd rather time slow down so he feels more prepared for this trip and all that it's going to take out of him. He parks in his usual section with ease and collects his luggage from the trunk. It feels odd having so much with him, especially for only a week, but it’s also a bit of a welcomed change. He hasn’t given himself that much down time in a long time; it’s well overdue by this point. He just hopes he won’t spend the entire week feeling like he does now, otherwise it would feel like he let his mood ruin his vacation. 

He shakes the thought off and snaps a quick selca to send to Namjoon, along with a cheerfully-coded text message greeting with a few emojis so he knows who to look for in the crowd. Almost immediately, a reply pops up on his screen with a picture, too. Hoseok has to do a double take at the man in the photograph, because wow, that’s not exactly the person he remembers from their university days. He’s pretty sure that Namjoon used to remind him of a beansprout, all long-limbed and gangly back then, and now he looks more like professional body builder, he’s so thick. He’s also got a great smile, and thankfully, he’s wearing a bright red beanie, which will make him easier to spot in the throngs of travelers. 

It takes him only a minute or two to find him, mostly because he knows this airport like the back of his hand and he’s used to ducking and weaving through the bustling crowd. “Hello, Kim Namjoon-ssi!” he greets politely and positively, trying to act like he’s not dreading this trip. 

“Hello! Please, you can just call me Namjoon,” the other man says, and his smile is even warmer in person. “We’re both born in ‘94, right? That makes us the same age. Why don't we address each other casually?” he adds. 

“Yeah! That’s fine by me, you can call me Hoseok,” the auburn haired man says, flashing him a smile of his own, though his shows more in his eyes than it does on his face, thanks to the mask he opted to wear. 

“Maybe I could call you my hero instead, considering I would definitely be missing the flight if not for you,” Namjoon says, and holy shit, Hoseok is completely caught off guard by the comment and he’s glad his mask covers up the stupid expression he’s probably wearing. 

An honest, genuine laugh bubbles past his lips and he responds, “I’m not opposed to that, considering Taehyung-ah and Jimin-ah both asked me to rescue you, like you were some kind of damsel in distress.” He decides there’s no harm in teasing him a little, and it was kind of started by him anyway. 

“I was really panicked. Look at that security line! I thought February was supposed to be off-season,” he says indignantly, pointing a finger to the left. 

“February is off-season, but the time of day is busy,” Hoseok answers honestly with a shrug. “Anyway, come on, we thankfully don’t need to bother with that line. Today, you’re with me. Did you finish checking in and took care of your luggage?” 

“Yes, I managed that much on my own,” he answers. “What about you, do you need to check that in?” The bulky man asks, pointing a gloved hand at the suitcase Hoseok drags behind him. 

“Mhm, but I can check it in at the back. It’s one of those perks of being a pilot,” he says, beckoning the other man to follow him. He leads them to the same Korean Air check-in booth Namjoon probably was at earlier, but he shows his credentials and they both are allowed behind a door marked for employees. He’s familiar with the modern architecture and lights, all windows and white walls, but clearly the person with him isn’t familiar with it at all. 

“Whoa, this is so cool,” Namjoon whispers, trailing behind him. “I had no idea what the staff areas were like here.”

A smile curls the edges of Hoseok’s lips at the sentiment. He kind of forgot how much of a novelty his job can be. Not many people do know what it’s like working for an airline, or what the staff lounges look like. It’s refreshing to have an outsider’s perspective. Especially lately, he’s been working lots of international flights and it’s been getting kind of exhausting. No matter how tired he gets, he still loves his job, but it’s definitely felt like more of a job lately than a passion. This moment reminds him a little bit about why he loves his job in the first place. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” he says, warmth in his tone. “So tell me, what have you been up to? The last I can remember, you were leaving to study abroad, I think,” Hoseok says, handing off his suitcase to the lady at the desk and receiving his own boarding pass. Quietly, he thanks her before returning his attention back to Namjoon. 

The other man looks a little sheepish as he nods. “Yeah, I went to finish my degree in New York,” he says, his tone sounding a little more reserved, like perhaps maybe the topic is a bit sensitive. Even so, Hoseok marvels in how comfortable he feels with Namjoon around, even though it’s been about six or seven years since they last saw one another. 

Hoseok decides to change the subject, not wanting to stir up anything the other man might not want to think about at this particular moment. “That’s cool, too! What do you do for work now?” he asks instead, handing his passport, Korean Air employee ID card, and boarding pass to the agent working at the employee security check. 

“I work as a professor at SU,” he answers, and the expression on his face makes Hoseok feel like he made the right choice changing topics. His dimpled smile is back full force now, unrestrained and natural. “I teach philosophy and English.” 

It’s Hoseok’s turn to be impressed and surprised. “Wow, you’re a university professor at 28? That’s amazing,” he says, complimenting the other man honestly. “I would have thought you taught some form of martial arts. Seriously, what work outs do you do?” he asks, poking his winter-jacket cladded arm. Even through the padding of the jacket, he can tell the muscle beneath is firm. It was obvious in his picture, too. 

"I'm not that impressive, really." Namjoon’s lips curl upwards into a borderline devious smirk that makes his face feel a little warm. “But I would be happy to show you my workouts when we land, if you want. Our hotel has a gym, right?” he asks, and god, Hoseok isn’t dumb. Namjoon is definitely flirting with him, and he’s… reciprocating. It’s not really a good idea, so he should probably stop. This trip is going to be hard enough as it is, he doesn’t need the added drama of whatever this is on top of it. 

“Maybe,” he says coolly, though the smile on his cheeks betrays him just slightly, considering he’s still masked. 

Their conversation naturally pauses when they go through the security, thankfully seamlessly. Neither of their bags set anything off, and they didn’t trip the body scanners, either. Seeing Namjoon without his coat is… well, a sight to see. Now that the big oversized jacket isn’t hiding his clothing beneath, Hoseok can absolutely see him as a professor, or maybe a model for fashion brand or something. He’s wearing a brown turtleneck, black slacks, and a stylish neutral patterned blazer. Subtle pops of red are sprinkled throughout his outfit, making the whole look very trendy and very hot. 

He’s caught checking the other man out, and his face feels uncomfortably warm yet again. As if that isn’t bad enough, Namjoon winks at him. To try to cover up his staring, he says, “I like your outfit.” Immediately, he feels incredibly dumb because that really doesn’t cover his ass at all. He’s weak for a man who knows how to dress well and clearly this particular man falls under that category. 

“I like yours, too. You have great legs,” Namjoon comments, draping his jacket over his arm, a brief look flickering down his lower body, short enough to be tasteful and not in the slightest creepy. It makes him feel a little bit warmer all over. 

Hoseok’s outfit is also relatively dressy-casual, even though he would have preferred a more comfy outfit like a tracksuit or at the very least baggy joggers. It felt too weird considering that as an option when he’s extremely used to wearing his pristine pilot uniform to the airport. At least wearing dressy casual clothes, he doesn’t feel quite as out of place. He’s wearing black trousers and an army green button down shirt. He opted to not wear a winter jacket despite the winter chill here in Korea. He knows that in Hawaii, it’s going to be around twenty something degrees celsius, even at night. Taking a heavy jacket with him would have felt like a waste. He does, however, wear a lightweight beige windbreaker, because that might be useful in Hawaii, too. 

“Thanks,” he responds, opting to take his mask off. It might reveal the heat in his cheeks, but it could help alleviate it, too. “C’mon, let’s get to our gate.” 

Within minutes, they arrive and get to board immediately, even before boarding officially starts. All it takes is another flash of his employee ID, and they enter the cabin that’s entirely empty save for the flight attendants (most of which he exchanges quick greetings with) and the pilots in the front. “What seat are you?” Hoseok asks, peering over at the other man’s pass. 

“Ah, I’m towards the back. By the time I booked, a lot of seats were full,” Namjoon says, clearly disappointed they aren’t seating next to each other, if his faltering smile is any indication. 

Hoseok really shouldn’t be so tempted to pull strings to get them seats together. He should wish the other man well and take his seat here in the first class section of the plane and let him continue on to the back. “Did you look at first class at all?” he finds himself asking against his better judgment. It makes sense if they stick together, they’re going to the exact same place anyway. Maybe Hoseok can even offer to drive Namjoon to the resort, unless the other man already has a rental car or ride scheduled. 

“Not really, no,” the other man says, maybe looking slightly sheepish. “I usually just fly economy.” 

“That's always a smart choice, but give me a second, I’ll be right back,” Hoseok says, not giving either of them a chance to second guess it before he goes to speak with the receptionist at boarding. It’s just his luck that the seat next to him happens to be free. He requests for Namjoon’s ticket to be upgraded, and he uses his friends and family perks without a second thought. He barely uses them for himself, and his family isn’t as keen on traveling as he is. His sister travels pretty often, but she prefers to use her own mileage plan. 

He returns to Namjoon with a first class ticket in hand, handing it to him with a smile. “Here, take this. Trust me, you’ll appreciate being able to lay down and sleep in the first class seats. The economy class might be practical, but it’s cramped,” he says. “You get to sit next to me, too.” He absolutely should not be encouraging this, and yet, it’s worth seeing the other man smile. 

“Hoseok, you shouldn’t have. How much do I owe you for this?” he asks, raising a brow. 

With a shake of his hand, he says, “I didn’t pay even a single won. You do, however, owe me for saving you from the infinite security line,” he says playfully, stowing his bag appropriately before settling down in his own seat. 

Namjoon chuckles and takes the seat next to him. “Alright, prince charming, how should I repay you for being my hero today?” 

He smiles at the other man, weirdly flustered by being called such silly nicknames. “I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’ll let you know when I do,” he answers, unable to stop smiling. “Please never call me prince charming or your hero again, by the way.” 

“You can’t tell me you’re not,” Namjoon banters animatedly. “First, you save me from the ridiculously long line. Second, you get me upgraded to a fancy seat with complimentary five-star meals and drinks. That’s basically wining and dining. Third, look at that smile! You can’t smile at me like that and blame me for finding you charming.” 

Damn. This is literally the last thing he expected, and it’s got his head spinning a little. He hasn't felt particularly attractive lately, so he doesn't know what to do with this kind of attention other than feel flustered. “I think if there’s a prince charming here, it’s you,” Hoseok finds himself saying against his better judgment, yet again. “All of this flattery is going to go straight to my head. I might just stay in the clouds.” 

“A fitting place for an angel,” Namjoon says and it’s so over the top that Hoseok laughs hard, so stupidly smitten with him. 

“That was so goddamn cheesy,” he voices his thought, pleased to hear the professor’s laugh joining his own. He doesn’t take any offense, which is good because offending him is the last thing he wants to do. 

“Yeah, you can say that again. It was worth it to hear you laugh, though,” the other man says, so fucking smooth that his cheeks hurt from how hard he smiles. 

“Oh my god, stop,” Hoseok says with a shake of his head so hard that some of his auburn hair falls in front of his face. “Are you always such a flirt?” 

“Only if the person I’m flirting with is as cute as you,” the man answers, and that’s it, Hoseok’s broken. 

“Okay, I totally regret bumping you to first class with me. Go back to economy,” he says jokingly, shooing him with his hand before bringing it to hide his smile. “How the hell am I supposed to get any sleep with you next to me?” he asks rhetorically.

“Maybe the point is that you won’t sleep,” Namjoon teases, smiling smugly at the way Hoseok gapes at the remark. “Oh, come on, you walked right into that one.” 

His face feels like it’s burning and he wishes he had water to cool down. He can flirt when he wants to and he wouldn’t say he’s bad at it but he forgot just how intense it is being the one flirted with. “You’re right, I did,” he finally manages to say, grateful that the other man gives him a moment to recover without another teasing remark. “So… are you seeing anyone?” he asks, feeling the need to have that particular question out of the way. He’s indulging something he really shouldn’t, but he’s annoyingly charmed by Namjoon’s relentless flirting. 

“I wouldn’t be like this with you if I were,” he answers, his words less flirty and more serious, more honest. It eases any of the doubts Hoseok might have had on the matter. Namjoon’s way with words is more clever than it should be. 

“And what if I’m seeing someone?” he asks, raising a brow. 

The other man looks pensive for a second, clearly taking a moment to think over his answer. “Well, I think they’d be sitting here instead of me, if that was the case,” he answers with a strangely gentle tone, as if he knows Hoseok’s relationship status is a sensitive topic. That doesn’t help the infatuation, if anything, it gives it more substance. Most people wouldn’t be bold enough to say something like that, and if they were, they probably wouldn’t say it the way he did. It’s so… refreshingly different. There's no pity, like what he gets from acquaintances who know about the broken engagement, and he doesn't sense any judgement, either. He blinks back at him, at a loss for words. That’s when Namjoon opts to continue. “But if by chance you are seeing someone and they couldn’t be here, then I would completely back off and give you space. Same goes if it simply makes you uncomfortable.” 

The thoughtful answer makes him happy. This should be his chance to tell him that it does make him uncomfortable (even though that's not exactly the right way to phrase it), that he’s about to go to a wedding where his ex of five years will be in attendance, that Hoseok has a million reasons that he shouldn’t indulge this. Even if he and Yoongi don’t talk anymore, the history they have should be respected. It would feel disrespectful to Namjoon and Yoongi both to let this flirtation carry on, even if Yoongi has an ambiguous plus one with him. 

The failed relationship with Minji proves that Hoseok isn’t ready to be back out in the dating world. He was ready to rush into a relationship with the first person he got along well enough with, simply because he didn’t want to feel alone or attend this particular event alone. He didn’t think it was like that in the moments he spent with her, but in hindsight, he sees it for what it was. Even though her turning him down like she did sucked, and her reasons hit a very sore spot, Hoseok knows that he’s still not over Yoongi and that's where the source of his problems lie. He is past the point of wanting him back, but he’s lost right now, and bringing anyone into the mix might result in more hurt, and not just for him. He’s not even sure that he wants a relationship at all anymore, and granted, this flirting could be only building up to a hook up or one night stand, but it feels… different, somehow, and he knows that he’s not looking for that on this vacation, either. 

It’s the thoughtful responses to these questions that drive it home; Namjoon’s a good guy. If he were just a shameless flirt, the idea of him getting hurt pursuing Hoseok wouldn’t feel like as much of a possibility. It’s clear that there’s more to him than cheesy pickup lines, and for that reason alone, Hoseok should stop this. He definitely will, but for this moment, it's nice to feel wanted again. Ending it won't be easy. 

“And what if it’s just… not a good time for me?” he asks instead, reluctant to tell him to stop entirely for reasons that only feel selfish. 

“I’d probably slow down and let you set the pace,” Namjoon answers with a kind smile. “Sometimes the timing actually is wrong, but sometimes… you have to make it the right time. I can’t say which it is for you, so I’d let you set the pace, unless you clearly tell me you want me to stop or not.” 

The answer renders him completely speechless. It’s not only thoughtful but also thought provoking. Hoseok isn’t sure what to say to it, but instead of sitting around and thinking over the hundreds of things he could, he says exactly what crosses his mind first. “I don’t know which it is for me yet, either, but… in the meantime, don’t feel the need to stop unless you want to,” he answers, voice quiet. 

It would be so easy to get caught up in this, if he wanted to allow himself that. Namjoon’s smile is cute, reminding him a little bit of his favourite dumplings from the restaurant down the street from his flat. His voice is rich and smooth, and he’s insanely attractive. With him being a professor, he must be incredibly smart, too. It’s already evident in the way he speaks and his way with words. As charming as he is, though, Hoseok’s just… burnt out on the whole dating/love thing. He doesn’t want to encounter another situation like the one he had with Yoongi, where he’s so high on love and sure of it that he doesn’t look down, or that he doesn’t see the signs of reservations until they’re almost at the finish line. 

“In that case, I won’t stop,” Namjoon replies with a playful wink. More seriously, he adds, "Let me know if anything changes. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." The two of them share a moment of silence where Hoseok nods, grateful that Namjoon's so considerate, before the other man switches topics entirely. “So tell me, what is it like working for KA?” 

And that’s how the two of them launch into a seamless conversation, less flirty and more serious about getting to know one another, entirely uninterrupted despite the random passengers crossing by them occasionally. After the takeoff safety demonstration, they cycle through various topics, like where they live, their lifestyles, their parents and siblings, what kinds of things they do in their free time. Namjoon is obsessed with museums and hops on his bike to go places at random, and Hoseok realizes while he listens that he hasn’t carved out time for recreation in his own life. His schedule suddenly feels stifling after hearing about Namjoon’s whimsical one. Normally Hoseok loves routine and planning and structure, but right now, he’s so relieved that he’s already breaking out of it. Jimin was right when he said that he needed a real, genuine break. 

Oddly enough, even though he’s feeling a little self-conscious about his boring lack of social life, Namjoon seems slightly in awe of his orderly existence. “I wish I was more like you,” he says, surprising him slightly. “I mean, I can be more organized and consistent, but I always lose steam partway through. The only real time commitment besides my job is my workout routine, but I think that’s easy to be consistent with because it’s accessible.” 

Hoseok’s cheeks feel warm again, but he responds genuinely, “I wish I could be more like you! My hours are all over the place, so it’s hard to find the time to be spontaneous. It’s easy to fall into a routine with the few things I do, and my schedule is entirely dictated by what flights I work."

“I take this as a sign that we should spend more time together,” Namjoon says, a smirk curling onto his lips. He looks at Hoseok with a look almost like he’s testing the waters already, implying… something more than this week. He doesn’t have the mental capacity to unpack that right now. 

For now, he’s going to live in the moment, while they are up in the clouds and away from all of the responsibilities that await them. “I know I’d like that,” he answers honestly, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his lips. 

“I would, too,” Namjoon responds, the smirk morphing to a smile so sweet, it’s dangerous. "I'm really happy we reconnected, Hoseok."

He sounds so genuine that it makes him feel soft on the inside, and he doesn't know how to handle that, either, but he responds with a simple "Me, too."

Eventually the conversation between them fizzles out, and they each occupy themselves with their own entertainments. The professor pulls out a book with a mostly dark cover and a title in English, not that Hoseok is paying attention… or so he tells himself, even as he wishes he could get a better look at the man across from him. He opts to lay his seat down to attempt a nap, but his thoughts grow loud despite the headphones in his ears playing a list of songs that usually puts him in a good mood. 

The attraction to Namjoon is there, but the longer he has to think about their conversation, the more restless he feels. How would that look to everyone attending the wedding? Hoseok doesn’t care about the majority of the attendee’s opinions about him, but there are some of his friends going to this, too. Those opinions are the ones he cares about. Seokjin would probably pull him aside and ask him just what the hell he's doing, and he wouldn't have a good answer to give. He also really doesn’t want to look like the desperate best man hooking up with some other single person in the wedding party because he couldn’t find a plus one. He most definitely doesn’t want to look like he’s throwing anything in Yoongi’s face. He knows that Yoongi won’t flaunt his new relationship in front of him, so Hoseok should just keep everything friendly and his head low. He should tell Namjoon exactly that, too. 

Finally he drifts off, decision made. His sleep doesn’t last long, though, primarily out of habit for him. Usually he and his co-pilot alternate nap breaks on long flights, and they tend to only last for forty five minutes to an hour at best. This nap is no exception. Once he’s up again, it doesn’t take long for the restless feelings to come back. He finds that he doesn’t really know what to occupy himself with, because normally he’s working on planes, not sitting around doing nothing. His last vacation was just to Tokyo, and that had been with Yoongi, so it was both a short flight and he had someone to keep him entertained. 

While it remains true that Hoseok could chat the entire flight away with Namjoon, he thinks it would turn flirty with just the two of them here. In front of other people, it won’t be hard to keep himself in check. 

He opts to pull out the notebook he carries with himself at all times, even in his pilot bag. It was a gift from Jimin, actually, back in their university days. The faux leather grey cover is starting to wear at the edges and the pages are a little fluffy when the journal itself is closed, but aside from that, its age isn’t obvious. Hoseok has always taken good care of his belongings. He spaces out while staring at it, reminiscing the day that it was gifted to him, just about seven years ago exactly. It was a birthday gift, after all. 

Jimin always knew that Hoseok wanted to work as a pilot, and he also knows that Hoseok is more sentimental than he lets on, so his gift was a travel journal, so he can document some of the cool places he’s been to and interesting things he’s seen. When he first got it, he was excited, but it took him forever to use it. It felt like he had to pick the right travel story to start off with. It wasn’t until he was on a trip with Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi to Jeju that he finally used it for the first time, documenting their shenanigans. Over the years, he has added quite a few entries into the journal. For the most part, he usually only documents the good times and keeps it positive, but right now, he feels like live journaling this particular trip. 

He starts out with how much he didn’t want to wake up, naturally, and just jots things here and there. It turns more into a recounting of his own conflicts about relationships and flirting with Namjoon. As much as he likes him, he sees the words on the page and feels… almost like he just doesn’t want any of it. Here he is, on a plane to see his best friends get married. Love is quite literally in the air, and he’s never felt so tired of it. 

He feels like his time with Yoongi was wasted-- all of those years, energy, and effort amounted to nothing but the worst heartbreak of his life. Even if they had managed to get married, they would have been a ticking time bomb. Either Yoongi would have had to settle for a life he didn’t actually want, or Hoseok would have had to do that for him. Misery was all that awaited them, no matter the outcome. So really, what was the point of loving him? Is it that he just wasn’t the one or is it that love just isn’t for him? Love is flawed, he knows that. He has seen plenty of people who can’t find it, or find it only in fleeting relationships… and he has only seen two couples be successfully happy with each other long term: his parents and his grandparents. Even his sister, who got married only five years ago divorced her husband last year. 

Maybe… the rule is that things are just temporary, and long-lasting relationships are the exception. Maybe that’s why Hoseok is so sentimental, because he knows that once the moments are over, they won’t come back. Love is temporary, travel is temporary, youth is temporary. Life is always changing, and maybe it’s better to not get too attached to anything like he did before. 

That being said, he still can’t shake the one thing he wants out of life without a doubt: a family. Every time he sees his little three year old niece, Kyungmi, he is filled with the purest kind of love to exist, one that he can actually put faith in. Someday he wants to raise a child of his own, even if he has to do it entirely by himself. There is a major catch on that, though: he would either have to find a partner who can handle raising a child with his demanding schedule or give up the job he loves so much for one that can accommodate him being a single parent, never mind the fact that he would face a ridiculous amount of hurdles even attempting to adopt. 

He doesn’t want to try for romance or a partner anymore, so more than likely, he’ll end up doing the latter option, but that’s a problem for another day. Right now, he only has to focus on getting through this trip, trying to have some fun, and watching his friends do the seemingly impossible. 

After another brief nap and a few more hours of flying, they eventually begin their descent into Honolulu International Airport. It’s Namjoon who breaks their silence with a simple question. “So what are your plans now that we’ve landed?” he asks, stretching his arms above his head and that charming smile on his lips. 

Hoseok tastefully avoids looking at his muscular arms and focuses on his face and slightly disheveled strawberry blonde hair. “I was planning to pick up my rental car and drive to the hotel. What about you?” he responds with a slight tilt of his head. 

Despite how he feels about the whole dating and romance thing, he can’t deny how attractive Namjoon is, both in personality and in appearance. He wishes that he was only attracted to his personality, because it would be so much easier to be simply friends with him that way. 

“I was planning to request an uber,” the other man answers, the slightest bit sheepish. 

Hoseok takes a brief second to deliberate. It would be a friendly gesture to offer to drive him. That’s less weird than him spontaneously upgrading him to first class and then barely talking with him after the first couple of hours of the flight. Not only that, but they both have to go to baggage claim anyway. This would simply be killing two birds with one stone, so to speak. “You’re welcomed to join me, there’s no need for you to pay all that money for a driver when you’ve got me,” he says, happy at the way Namjoon playfully rolls his eyes.

“There you are again, playing the role of prince charming,” he says, and it makes Hoseok shake his head, amused rather than annoyed. It’s going to be hard resisting the urge to flirt with him because it’s like this guy was born a natural flirt. Though, that can't possibly be true, because there is no way that's something Hoseok would have forgotten about him. 

“Shut up, we already had that conversation,” he teases back. “Is that a yes or a no?” He pretends like he’s leaving the plane, slowly inching backwards with his messenger bag over his shoulder. 

“Alright, I’ll accept the carriage ride, my prince,” Namjoon says, taking delight in the way Hoseok’s whole face scrunches up as he reacts to that dumb, way-overdone-by-this-point joke. 

“I already revoked the right to call me that,” he responds, his face feeling flushed again. 

“Actually you didn’t. You said to never call you ‘my hero’ or ‘prince charming’ ever again. I didn’t call you either of those,” he replies, a smug expression lighting up his features. “Would you prefer it if I said that I’d happily ride your steed instead?” 

Hoseok finds himself snorting and laughing hard at the awful but incredibly amusing innuendo. “Oh my god, stop!” he says, slightly embarrassed by the glares they’re getting from a middle-aged business man one aisle over. They've barely been talking again and already he feels like his face if burning up. “I’m suing you if I fall over and get injured because you made me laugh too hard from your terrible attempt at flirting.” 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’d catch you before you fell,” Namjoon replies, stepping closer to Hoseok, their faces only inches apart. It makes his heart race, and he hates that he likes how he feels right now. It’s not often that he gets caught up in the early stages of a crush, not anymore. Then again, he wouldn’t say he has a lot of experience with this. He’s not even used to the whole dating app thing that he used to find his flings after Yoongi. Minji was the closest, and yet it took a couple of dates before he got to this point of infatuation with her. It hasn’t even been ten hours since he saw Namjoon again, and the timing couldn’t possibly be worse. Another heartbreak is the last thing he wants, and this if it goes on too much longer, it could be just that. Funny how he decided to take a serious break from dating and romance (if not stopping that altogether) and here a seemingly golden opportunity comes out of nowhere. 

Hoseok realizes that he’s been staring at the other man’s face while his thoughts race, and he snaps out of it, stepping back a little bit and stumbling in the process. As promised and almost like they're in one of the dramas he's been watching lately, Namjoon's hand steadies him by catching him at the waist. His whole body shivers slightly with butterflies from the touch, and he can't keep the eye contact, shyly looking away and clearing his throat.

"See? I told you I'd catch you," the other man says softly, letting his hand drop back to his own bag. 

"Thanks," he murmurs, pursing his lips as he debates what to say next. He could turn the tables and carry on their silly joke by calling Namjoon the prince, saving him this time, but the thoughts he had earlier in the flight resurface, and he knows that he shouldn't flirt more, as tempting as it is. He straightens himself up and takes a solid step backwards. "Maybe we should… just keep this friendly,” he decides to speak up. “I like you, and the flirting is fun, but… the more I thought about it, the more sure I am that it’s not a good time for me.” He swallows nervously, words a little bit soft. He looks to Namjoon’s face, looking for an adverse reaction, and finds that what he sees isn’t anything to work himself up over. The taller man doesn’t look irritated or awkward, only maybe disappointed, just slightly. It baffles him how sweet he is because almost anyone else would feel led on by him (even if that wasn't his intention at all). 

“I can understand that,” the other man says, voice gentle. “I always did want to be your friend, at least.” The last two words are barely there, but Hoseok does catch them and wonders what they mean. 

He doesn’t let himself think too hard about it, though, because now they are back on the ground with jobs to do. “Thank you for understanding. I’m happy to be your friend,” he says, bringing a hand to Namjoon’s shoulder, feeling a little more comfortable in his own skin in a way he realizes that he wasn’t before. “Now let’s get going. I miss my crazy best friends, and I’ll bet money that they’re staring at their phones like puppies waiting to hear from us.” 

“If I didn’t know you were completely right, I’d take you up on that bet,” Namjoon says with a laugh, and all the tension between them dispels like it wasn’t even there.