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It’s a quiet evening in the Cloud Recesses.
Or at least it was until Wei Wuxian’s joyful screams interrupted the peace and quiet.
“Nie-xiong! Nie-xiong!”
Wei Wuxian bounds up to the Jiang sleeping quarters with a pair of Emperor’s Smile jars in hand. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang shush him urgently before pulling him inside and shutting the door. It wouldn’t do for them to get caught by Lan patrols and for their festivities to end before they started.
“I just had an idea! A great idea! And I’m going to need your help with it!” Wei Wuxian continues at a lower volume but with just as much enthusiasm.
Nie Huaisang fans himself idly, curiosity shining in his eyes. “How likely are we to get expelled for this?”
“Very likely. Are you in?”
“I don’t know… I don’t know…” Nie Huaisang makes a show of hesitating, fanning himself erratically.
Wei Wuxian grins at him and nods with a wink before turning to Jiang Cheng. “Ok, so Nie-xiong is in. What about you, Jiang Cheng?”
“Wei Wuxian! Do you have nothing better to do than cause trouble? You’re going to bring shame to our sect!”
Wei Wuxian nods again as if he was expecting this response. “Great! You’re in charge of the wine then. Nie-xiong, we will need to go down to Caiyi town tomorrow. I will need your help picking out the clothes for my amazing plan.”
“What do we need the clothes for, Wei-xiong?” asks Nie Huaisang curiously.
That is all it takes for Wei Wuxian to launch into an explanation of his idea. A crazy idea at that, and one guaranteed to cause trouble.
“It’s never going to work.” Jiang Cheng shakes his head but he obeys anyway. If nothing else, Wei Wuxian’s antics are bound to be interesting.
“I can’t believe it worked,” Wei Wuxian laughs breathlessly as he runs away. Running turns out to be harder than he expected considering he’s holding Nie Huaisang in a bridal carry. The flowy red robes they’re both wearing, while stunningly elaborate, only serve to slow them down in their escape.
Wei Wuxian takes the time to glance behind him to admire the chaos left in his wake. He gets to admire the glorious sight of Jiang Cheng’s pretending-to-be-angry-but-actually-laughing-on-the-inside face, Lan Zhan’s even stonier than usual expression (the fuddy-duddy! He looked like Wei Wuxian had poked him between the eyes when the ceremony started!) and the various degrees of shock and surprise on everyone else’s faces.
The best part, of course, is Lan Qiren chasing them with a scroll raised threateningly in the air as if he was trying to hit him over the head with it. His shouting makes Wei Wuxian break into another bout of laughter and only Nie Huaisang’s insistent tug on his sleeve ensures that he stays upright long enough to step on Suibian and fly away from the Cloud Recesses.
“Did you see Lan-xiansheng’s face?” Wei Wuxian guffaws. “He turned into so many shades of purple I’m surprised he didn’t spit blood!”
Nie Huaisang laughs too, even managing to fan himself despite the speeds they are flying at. “Da-ge is so going to kill me, but you’ll save me right, Wei-xiong?” He even bats his lashes.
“Against Chifeng-jun?” Wei Wuxian scoffs incredulously. “You’re on your own, Nie-xiong.”
“So cruel to your husband!” Nie Huaisang wails loudly. “What use was it to marry you? You would really abandon me in my time of need?”
“Absolutely,” is Wei Wuxian’s instant and unrepentant response. “It’s every man for himself.”
Nie Huaisang swoons dramatically and wipes a tear before suddenly straightening up as much as he can while still being carried by Wei Wuxian. He stops crying instantly and his grin makes a Wei Wuxian shiver in apprehension. “Well then, I guess I won’t help you with our Lan Wangji situation either then, husband.”
A backward glance gives Wei Wuxian the perfect view of Lan Zhan flying in hot pursuit. He’s still far away from them but he’s gaining ground rapidly seeing as he’s unencumbered with extra weight unlike Wei Wuxian. The fierce expression on Lan Zhan’s normally stoic face makes Wei Wuxian sweat nervously through his brand new wedding robes.
“Ahh! Nie-xiong! Nie-xiong! Husband mine! You have to save me! Lan Zhan looks so angry! What did I even do to him?”
Nie Huaisang smiles behind his fan and shakes his head. “Nuh-huh, you’re on your own, Wei-xiong. You said it yourself: it’s every man for himself, husband.”
This time it’s Wei Wuxian’s turn to cry dramatically while Nie Huaisang laughs at his plight.
Maybe this wasn't such a good plan after all.