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It’s not like he’s some inherently violent person or anything, he’s just really strong. Hurting people is easy even for the physically weak, but imagine how easy it would be for someone who could hurl the weight of an elephant without ever breaking a sweat.
So yeah, Saiki could hurt her, could kill her with just his pinky finger. He wouldn’t even have to try. But as Aiura rests her head on Saiki’s lap, she’s not thinking about that. She feels comfortable, happy as she scrolls through her social media feeds on her phone.
If Saiki were to be honest with himself, committing to spend time with a single person over and over again was a big enough hurdle to overcome. Once he managed to agree to that, he thought the rest of dating would just be insignificant details, like remembering dates and buying presents. Inconveniences, but nothing scary or impossible.
But he was wrong. This, right here, is the hardest part and it is something he had never even considered. He never considered how badly he would want to reach out and touch her, how much he would want to show her, with his own hands, that the feeling is actually mutual.
Naturally, she is good with the little casual touches. She can brush his hair off his forehead, smooth any creases in his clothes, nudge him with an elbow to get his attention to look at anything she thinks he’ll find amusing. It’s just like breathing to her, but to Saiki, it’s everything. Every touch makes his skin feel like it’s on fire. He’s gone so long without touching people that every brush of her fingers feels like electricity tingling across his skin.
Her head on his leg feels delightfully heavy, but it just reminds him that this is a one way street as his hands sit stiffly on either side of him on the couch. His fingers twitch as he watches her bring a hand up to her face to flick her bangs out of her eyes. He could have done that with telekinesis, but there’s no tenderness in the touch of a ghost. How much better would it be if he could make those little adjustments for her with his own fingers?
But what if he made a mistake? What if he didn’t dial down his strength appropriately? He has never touched somebody with the intent of making them feel good, with the intent of pleasing them. He has no idea how to do it.
Aiura lowers her phone from her face. She must read something in his expression, because she asks, “Something wrong, babe?”
Saiki shakes his head, a lie. He doesn’t want her to know how much he wants her and how much he worries about it.
Her forehead wrinkles with concern. She knows he’s not being honest. She slips her phone into her bra and raises a hand to brush along his jawline. “Babe,” she says, her voice laced with concern, but a certain sternness.
“Can I touch you?” he asks, the words escaping him before he has the chance to second-guess himself.
“Of course,” she says, folding her hands over her stomach and closing her eyes with a smile lifting her cheeks. She’s looking forward to it. He’s never said this to me before, guess he was nervous. She’s correct, but not for the reason she thinks.
He lifts his hand from the couch and, as slowly as possible, brings it to brush against her cheek. Her skin feels like velvet against his knuckles. He feels a slight tremble in his wrist, but he takes a deep breath to steady himself as he caresses her face.
That feels nice.
Saiki feels a thrill. She likes it. He’s not hurting her. He’s capable of being gentle. That electric thrill races through him and he decides to stop before he gets carried away.
“That was nice,” Aiura says. “You could totes do that whenever you want, you know?”
Saiki hums. She doesn’t know how hard that was for him. But it didn’t go horribly wrong, so he figures he’ll let himself try again sometime.