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Arthur had loved many people before. An artistic boy with green eyes. A clever woman with red hair. A brave man with dark, elegant fingers. But Arthur had never done anything with any of them.
He hadn't been the same person, back then.
The past had a way of crystalizing things, enshrining chances never taken and risks avoided. Back then, he had forced himself to be someone smaller, to hide in the shadows of his own strengths, never reaching out for more. His instincts had pushed him into the dreamworld, had forced him to reforge himself into the efficient man he had become. Those same instincts gnawed at Arthur's insides every time he looked at Eames.
Don't let this one down, they told him.
Arthur trusted his instincts; he had to. All of this time they had kept him alive. So despite everything, the dangers and the awkwardness and the risks, he ventured to find him. It was becoming routine, really. They liked working on jobs together, and no one could deny how good they both were. Which meant that even though they had just finished a job stateside, and everyone was gone, Arthur stood next to Eames' seat on the train, instead of finding somewhere else.
"Hey, Eames."
Eames smiled at him as radiantly as usual. "Arthur! Just who I needed to see. I need a new persona. Our next client has elegant tastes, and Katrina just won't cut it this time. Tell me about your first crush."
"No. Pick someone on the train.”
"Come on, darling, it needs to be someone believable, someone with emotion. I promise I won't make fun. I'm sure she was lovely."
"He was lovely, but you aren't forging him."
Eames sighed, dramatically. "Fine, I understand. Help me choose someone else then. Who would you find attractive?"
You, you idiot, Arthur thought, angrily. Of course he didn’t say that, instead he calmly said, "Stop it, Eames. I don’t want to play this game.”
"Why not? Why can't you just make this simple?" Eames taunted.
Arthur glared at him. "Because I know you're just messing with me. We both know I have feelings for you. And I don't want you to pretend you feel the same way, when you don't."
Eames looked stunned, and honestly, Arthur couldn’t blame him. It was a pretty bold thing to fucking drop, while mid-conversation on a train. But it was kind of nice to be free of the truth. To finally get out from under the weight of it. Even if-
"No, I didn't know that! Darling, I've been making advances for months, and you never noticed!"
"Of course I noticed, but you flirt with everyone," Arthur said, suddenly unsure if that was the truth.
Eames never called Ariadne or Cobb or Saito or even Yusuf "darling." But Arthur had decided a long time ago that it could have just been a coincidence. Along with… several other events.
Fuck.
"Only sometimes," Eames admitted, looking tragically earnest. "The truth is, I prefer flirting with you."
Arthur wanted to hug him. It would have been so easy, but they both deserved better than that. He had something important to do first.
"So do I, Eames. I like you. This you. More than anyone."
Eames shook his head, with a strange, self-deprecating smile. "There must be someone else."
"Don't be ridiculous," Arthur said, and wrapped both arms around him.
Eames froze for a moment, and Arthur could see a familiar expression of wanting to reach for a totem, of a mind whispering "Is this real?", before Eames chased it away with a smile.
"Can I take you out for coffee, when we get to Cairo?"
"Yes. Anywhere, anytime. I'm with you," Arthur promised.
Eames hugged him tightly back. "Fuck, Arthur. I love you."
"I love you too."