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Maya came home to a quiet apartment, all the lights were out apart from the lamp on the sideboard by the door. Maya smiled at the gesture from her wife as she shrugged off her jacket and unlaced her boots.
It had been a long shift and Maya just wanted to get home deciding she’d rather go home uncomfortable in her uniform than change and delay the time she could be spending with her wife wrapped up in bed.
The actions of the shift still weighing heavy on her mind, it wasn’t lost on her how she was the only woman who scaled the ridge, she was also one of the highest ranking firefighters down there, the only other lieutenant being Ruiz.
Maya had commanded respect and given orders, she was the one to saw through the car, she was the one to removed the trunk door, she was the one to help carry and load Dr Hunt onto a backboard. She’d done everything that Sullivan had done, but he got the promotion
Chief Ross had made it clear she intended on righting the wrongs of the previous administration, but Maya couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being passed over for the opinion that she’d had her shot and blew it.
The blonde exhaled deeply as she left her boots by the door in plain sight so she wouldn’t forget them, walking towards her bedroom she reached up to pull the hair tie out of her low pony before pulling up her shirt to untuck it and pop the buttons.
She wondered if Carina was awake, it was gone midnight but sometimes the doctor would stay up reading waiting for her wife to return. It became apparent in the early stages of their relationship that they both slept better when they lay next to each other
Maya gently pushed the door open, her bedroom in darkness. The light of the moon that shon through the gaps in the curtains that had been drawn poorly casting a cool white glow across the doctors face who appeared to be sleeping peacefully clutching Mayas pillow close to her chest.
Maya had heard about the two kids who turned up at the Station from Jack and she knew Carina had taken Vic to the hospital but she didn’t know anything more. The blonde tiptoed over to the edge of the bed placing a soft kiss on Carinas forehead before slipping into the bathroom
Turning on the light looking in the mirror Maya noticed how tired she looked, her bright blue eyes sunken into her face, her brows knit together to form a frown and her hair falling disheveled upon her shoulders. Maya gripped hard onto the sink as her eyes flit between the silver bars of her collar and name badge that read ‘Lt. Bishop’ at that moment the blonde cracked. Hot tears cascaded down her cool cheeks as the blonde let out a sob
Mayas hand flew to her mouth in an attempt to silence herself but it was no good, she sank to the floor leaning her back against the glass panel of the shower as the sobs racked and shook her body. She tried her best to breathe but it was no good, her tears blurred her vision she forgot where she was, her head fell to her knees her forehead connecting with her patella at some force as she cried and mourned.
She mourned for the job that she lost, she mourned for the people she had lost, she cried for herself and she cried for her wife. This wasn’t the person Carina married, maybe it was time to give her an out.
Carina was in a light sleep when she heard the front door close but her exhausted state prevented her from waking up to greet her wife hoping that it’d only be moments until Maya clambered into the bed next to her and held her.
Carina felt the soft kiss to her forehead and she was sure Maya had seen the smile that creeped sleepily onto her face. The Italian lay there for a little longer before her hearing picked up the sobs and her brain registered what was going on. Maya was upset, she was crying, but she wasn’t in bed, she was hiding.
Carina’s eyes flew open as the sobs got louder and more heartbreaking, she tried to look around the room for her wife as her eyes adjusted to the darkness when she noticed the light of the bathroom filtering into the room through the gaps in the doorframe
The Italian shot to her feet moving across the short distance between the bed and door opening it to reveal her wife curled into herself against the glass panel of the shower. The blonde didn’t notice Carina her entered or even that anyone had heard her
It wasn’t until two arms pulled Maya forward by her legs and a body sank in behind her. Carina wrapped her arms tight around Mayas shoulders pulling her backwards to take her weight as her legs gripped at Mayas body keeping her steady
“Shhh bambina, it’s okay, it’s all going to be okay… andrá tutto bene” Carina whispered over and over as she felt Mayas heavy breaths begin to even out and calm down
“…what’s happened, talk to me” Carina asked pushing the hair out of Mayas face and kissing her cheek
“Sullivan.. got promoted” Maya huffed out emotionally
“Back to Battalion Chief?” Carina asked shocked by the statement
“No…” Maya shook her head “…lieutenant”
“…Chief Ross congratulated us at the end of shift for our work and she agreed that promotions within 19 are long overdue… and I thought…” Maya inhaled deeply “…I thought that I was finally getting the justice I deserved… I was finally getting my captaincy back” Maya cried
“…but I didn’t” the words muffled by the blondes sobs “…She err- she gave Sullivan lieutenant, and didn’t even look twice at me” Maya cried as she tightened her grip on Carinas arms signalling she needed to be held closer
“Oh bambina, it will come, your time will come” Carina coaxed as she stroked over Mayas hair
“You know, I defied direct orders from the chief because I knew I could save that child… and I did, that child lived and will continue to live and grow and experience everything life has to offer… at the cost of my job…” Maya laughed incredulously
“…Beckett, he- he left the keys in the rig and it was stolen and crashed, he paid no attention to the warnings we gave him the day three of us got high and passed out on K2, he surrendered incident command the day Miller died to make him feel like he was doing something to fight against the bureaucracy…”
“…but again failed to listen to his team-“
“…he is an egotistical, misogynistic… man who- who only got the job because he has a penis. He undermines every decision and concern his lieutenants bring him and when things go well he takes the credit as if any of it was to do with him” Maya spoke feeling her mournful tears being replaced by anger
“He could put 10,000 steps out of line and never even face a disciplinary… but me?” Maya let out a scream that took both women by surprise
“…Sullivan stole drugs from the PRT, I know he was an addict and he was desperate and I’m sympathetic to that, but his actions had consequences, we lost the PRT and he got demoted but you know what he had?” Maya asked rhetorically she didn’t wait for answer even though she knew Carina knew it
“…he had a hearing, a fair and just hearing where we all spoke on his behalf.” Maya took a deep breath trying to steady herself
“…Demotion for Sullivan was a best case scenario he was looking at the total loss of the job…”
“…I got an email, on our fricken wedding day.” Maya huffed as the tears started again as she grabbed at Carinas left hand playing with her wedding ring
“…an email, no heads up, no date for a hearing or even an investigation, my captaincy was taken from me and the paper work buried…” Maya continued
“I want to believe in the new chief, I want to think that she’ll do the right thing and at least grant me a hearing and investigation… but I can’t help but think she doesn’t care, because to her I had my shot and I wrecked it” the blonde sobbed through heavy breaths
“…I’m not the person you married Carina, I’m not a Fire Captain, I’m not- I’m just- I’m not who you-“ Maya stuttered unable to finish her sentences for the tears falling down her face and sobs wrecking her body
“Maya I didn’t marry you because you’re a firefighter-“ Carina replied rocking the two of them side to side
“…I married you for a green card” Carina smiled hoping to inject some humour into her wife which had clearly worked when Mayas sobs were interrupted by laughter
“You’re not funny” Maya cried laughing
Carina smiled seeing a genuine smile fight against the tears that continued to force their way down her wife’s cheek as she kissed her temples
“Bambina, I married you because I love you, more than anything in the world. So what if you’re not a fire captain. You’re so much more than that…”
“The system is unjust, and it’s unfair, and you’ve said it yourself it’s catered to the straight rich male with friends in high places. But you have something that nobody else has-“
“You” Maya interrupted
“No, well yes…” the Italian laughed
“…but you’re a fighter Maya, you fight for what you believe in, you fight for those you love, you fight for yourself…” Carina smiled
“You saved a child, you broke protocol to do it but you saved a child, I think you’re right in believing that the department scapegoated you to demotion, and it’s going to be tough and it’s going to be a long process but you have what it takes to be re-promoted… I don’t even know if that’s a word” Carina laughed hearing a wife chuckle
“…you have the people and the support and the reputation Maya-“ Carina continued
“Sei bellisima, sei forte, sei tenace, you are so much more than the ranking on your uniform” Carina kissed Mayas temple between adjectives continuing to hold her wife tight
“You mean so much more to me, than the ranking on your uniform” Carina placed emphasis on the objective personal pronoun hoping Maya was taking in every word
“You are the absolute girl of my dreams Maya Bishop, you show me every single day how it should feel to be loved, you teach me so much and not just about how to know when a fire is about to turn into a flash over” Carina teased earning another chuckle from her wife
“Sei tutto per me, and I don’t ever want to live without you” Carina replied
“You could though, if you wanted to” Maya sighed in response
“I err, I don’t understand” Carina shook her head confused as to what Maya was alluding to
“If you want an out, I’m giving you an out. I’m a broken mess of a person who’s career has been derailed and-“ Maya was stopped by Carinas finger over her lips
“I’m not going anywhere, I don’t want to go anywhere. I meant what I said the day we got engaged-“ Carina smiled lowering her legs and spinning Maya so she sat sideways making it easier to place a hand on her face to force her favourite pair of cerulean eyes on her
“You’re my home bambina, and I don’t ever want to leave my home” Carina smiled
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” Maya sobbed as Carina aggressively attempted to wife away her tears
“Can I kiss you?” Carina asked recognising how vulnerable Maya really was in the moment
The blonde nodded profusely as the pout fell from her face through the action of Carina pulling her closer and connecting their lips together
“Please don’t ever doubt my love for you, ever” Carina added as the two broke away
“Ti amo” Carina smiled stroking her thumb over Mayas face
“I love you too” Maya smiled shyly her bright blue eyes still swimming in a pool of tears
“Come on, let’s get you changed and into bed” Carina replied as she pushed herself to her feet before reaching out her hands to Maya
Maya quickly changed, brushed her teeth and washed her face before turning off the light in the bathroom and climbing into her side of the bed next to Carina
“I’m sorry for being so needy” Maya whispered into the darkness of the room
“I like needy and clingy Maya” Carina whispered back wrapping her arm around her wife’s shoulders to roll her into her body
“…she reminds me you are human, not just this superhero who I get to call my wife” the Italian teased pulling Maya as close as possible
“Carina I-“
“Shhh listen to me, I don’t care if you’re a probie, a lieutenant, a captain or a battalion chief. All I care is that you’re my wife and you’re who I get to spend every day with for rest of my life” Carina whispered as she pulled Maya closer settling the blondes head on her chest
Maya lay on her front resting her head on her wife’s chest as she drew circles on the Italians shoulder listening and holding onto every word she said before she finally allowed herself to fall asleep in the safety of Carinas embrace.