Chapter Text
“There are names for what binds us:
strong forces, weak forces.
Look around, you can see them:
the skin that forms in a half-empty cup,
nails rusting into the places they join,
joints dovetailed on their own weight.
The way things stay so solidly
wherever they've been set down—
and gravity, scientists say, is weak.
And see how the flesh grows back
across a wound, with a great vehemence,
more strong
than the simple, untested surface before.
There's a name for it on horses,
when it comes back darker and raised: proud flesh,
as all flesh,
is proud of its wounds, wears them
as honors given out after battle,
small triumphs pinned to the chest—
And when two people have loved each other
see how it is like a
scar between their bodies,
stronger, darker, and proud;
how the black cord makes of them a single fabric
that nothing can tear or mend. “
-Jane Hirshfield, "For What Binds Us"
At first, Daryl hadn’t trusted Aaron. He was too calm with a gun pointed in his face, made too many jokes, was even too damn clean. He felt wrong, like a tripwire in a trap that none of them could see. So Daryl had kept a close eye on him, watching every move he made making sure everything added up.
He hadn’t liked him but maybe it was just the memories from the governor and Terminus that made them wary of strangers. And even though Aaron had been telling the truth about everything he wouldn’t say he trusted Aaron completely yet. So when he finds Aaron following him he’s not sure what to think.
“I need your help,” Aaron had said and Daryl followed him with his guard up, ready for anything.
But now standing at the edge of a clearing, staring at a black horse Daryl is struck with the thought that maybe things aren't always what they seem. If Aaron was going out of his way to try and save this horse maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. Even if he was calling the damn horse Buttons.
Daryl took the rope lasso from Aaron and stepped into the clearing. Buttons showed no signs that he saw Daryl but he knew better. He knew horses were prey animals. They’d run given the chance. He’d just have to make sure Buttons didn’t get that chance.
Daryl crept up slowly, his moves deliberate so he wouldn’t accidentally spook the horse. Buttons looked calm for the moment, grazing as if Daryl wasn’t even there but Daryl knew that could change any moment.
“Hey boy,” Daryl murmured letting the horse know he was there, “that’s it ya just keeping eatin’.”
As he got closer the horse stopped grazing his head shooting up, eyes wide. “Easy boy, not gon’ hurt cha.” Daryl soothed, his hands tightening on the rope. He might only get one shot at this.
The horse eyed Daryl and despite being visibly scared he didn’t move. He recognized Daryl as something different from the walkers, somewhere deep down he remembered humans. His flanks quivered and his nostrils flared but the way he was looking at Daryl made him sure that this horse used to have somebody, maybe some young girl that braided flowers in his mane, that had loved him.
“Ya used ta be somebody’s huh?” Daryl took a step forward, barely daring to breathe, “Now yur just yours.”
Maybe he’d had some little girl once but that was a long time ago. Now he was just some wild thing that had almost forgotten that human and what it felt like to be loved. Maybe that’s why he trusted Daryl, even just a little bit. He could see now the recognition in the horse’s eyes. Buttons could see Daryl was that same as him. That he was just some wild thing too.
If he’d been a half a second later throwing the rope, the horse would have slipped through his fingers and they might never have seen him again. But Daryl managed to loop the horse before he took off. The second the rope closed around his neck, Buttons reared up neighing loudly. He pulled back trying to spin and bolt away but Daryl held on tightly despite the sudden sharp pain of the rope burning across his palms.
“Hey, whoa. Easy boy, easy.” Daryl held fast to the rope and after a minute of desperately trying to free himself, Buttons finally realized that Daryl wasn’t going to let go.
They stood there for a moment, man and beast, just staring at each other, neither one ready to back down. Dimly Daryl registered the sound of Aaron taking out a lone walker behind him but his whole focus was on the frightened horse in front of him.
“Not gon’ hurt cha,” Daryl murmured his hands tight on the rope but otherwise trying to be as calm as possible, “yur safe now but if we wait much longer ya won’t be. Gotta come wit’ me boy.”
Finally Buttons seemed to relax a bit, inching forward. “Tha’s it. Come on, let’s get outta here.” Daryl gave the rope a light pull and after a moment the horse followed him back over to Aaron.
Even though his eyes were wide and he was almost prancing in place beside Daryl, Buttons was following him. Somewhere deep in the recesses of the horse's mind he remembered being on a lead and right now that ingrained memory was warring with his fear and his deeper instincts. Daryl was thankful that the horse was at least following him, he knew that in a fight with a thousand pound animal that a human was never going to win.
“You caught him,” Aaron stared, surprised as Daryl carefully led the prancing horse towards him.
“He’s not too happy ‘bout it,” Daryl indicated Buttons, who was now snorting and tossing his head, eyes rolling in their sockets. Aaron aimed over Daryl's shoulder taking out another stray walker coming towards them.
“Let’s try and get him back. He’s drawing some attention.” Daryl glanced over his shoulder where Aaron was pointing at the walkers lurching from the trees.
“No complaints here,” Daryl said gruffly, giving the rope another tug as they quickly made their way through the trees back towards Alexandria.
-
At the sight of the big metal walls of Alexandria Buttons bulked, rearing and almost wrenching the rope from Daryl’s hands.
“Easy boy, easy,” Daryl tried to calm the frightened horse, “Get the gates open.” He yelled to Aaron as he tried to get Buttons under control.
“Open up,” Aaron called and someone on the other side opened the gate. Buttons pulled back again hard, whinnying his distress. Daryl gave another sharp tug on the rope and the horse finally trotted forward towards the open gate.
“Almost there,” Daryl jogged beside the horse leading him in. Once Buttons saw the open space beyond the gate he lunged forward, finally pulling hard enough that Daryl lost his grip, the rope sliding though his fingers. Thankfully Aaron had closed the gate behind them so when Buttons turned to bolt back out the gate he had nowhere to go.
The horse let out a scream and took off, the rope trailing behind him.
“Poor guy’s terrified,” Aaron said walking over to Daryl, watching Buttons galloping down the streets.
Daryl didn’t blame the horse. He’d of felt the same way. After being out there for so long you’d think walls would feel good around you. That’s what the Alexandrians assumed. They thought Buttons would be more comfortable behind walls because they were. But Buttons wasn’t tame anymore, if he ever truly had been. He was a wild thing and for a wild thing the walls weren’t protection. They were a cage.
Daryl knew what being wild felt like. He could see it in the way the horse had bulked at the large metal gates, just as he had. He could see it in the horse’s wide mistrustful eyes as he took in his new too eerily calm surroundings waiting for something to come after him. He almost felt sorry for the horse, caging it up behind these walls. He almost wanted to leave him out in the wild, let him be free. But deep down he knew it was safer inside the walls for Buttons. For all of them. Or at least that’s what he kept telling himself.
After what felt like hours of watching Buttons run around his tail flagging and his nostril flared, it was a relief when the horse finally relaxed enough to graze in someone’s front yard. He still kept a close eye on any person who got too close and would bolt from the kids that tried to go up to pet him. Eventually they gave up trying to chase Buttond and let him be.
“Can’t believe you actually caught him,” Daryl turned from watching Buttons graze to see Deanna walking up the path towards him, “Aaron’s been out there for weeks trying to catch him and he’s never even gotten close.”
“Got lucky,” Daryl shrugged, trying not to show his discomfort. He wasn’t quite sure if he trusted Deanna. There was something about her, maybe her calm no nonsense attitude, that just rubbed him the wrong way. Whatever it was he always made sure his guard was up around her.
“He’s being modest,” Aaron laughed, “there’s no way I would have caught Buttons without him.”
“Well I’m glad that you caught him. I know many of the children are very fond of him.” Deanna smiled. Daryl grunted, hoping she’d get the message that he wasn’t interested in this chat.
“Yeah,” Aaron laughed, “I know they’re excited we finally got him. They were chasing after him trying to pet him earlier.” Deanna frowned.
“Then I think it’s probably best if we get him into the stall as soon as possible. Do you think you could-“
“Hol’ up,” Daryl crossed his arms, turning to Aaron, “whatcha mean put ‘im in a stall?”
“Eric and I set up one of the detached garages as a makeshift stall for him when we first saw him. Never thought we’d actually have a chance to use it.” Aaron shrugged.
“Don’t see no need ta put him in a stall. Least not till he’s settled some.” Deanna's frown deepened.
“I’m just not sure it’s safe having him wandering around. I’ve seen how scared he is of people. I wouldn’t want him to hurt anyone by accident.” Daryl almost laughed. Were they still talking about the horse? He knew Deanna still wasn’t sure what to make of him. He wondered if she wished there was a stall they could lock him up in too.
“Then tell everyone ta leave ‘im alone.” Daryl snapped half talking about Buttons and half talking about himself, “‘s not like he can go anywhere. ‘sides he’s much more interested in all this new grass than gettin’ inta any trouble. Forcin’ ‘im inta that stall now’s just gonna make 'im worse.”
For a second Daryl was sure Deanna was going to argue with him, try and order him to force Buttons into the stall but Aaron cut in. “Daryl’s right. He’s pretty keyed up right now but he’s just getting used to his new surroundings. He’s been out there awhile. It’s probably best to just let him get acclimated before we try to interact with him too much. He just needs his space right now.”
Deanna sighed, “To be honest I don’t know much about horses so if you’re up for it I’ll put you both in charge of his care. If you think he’s better outside I’ll allow it but if he starts causing problems...”
“He won’t,” Daryl cut her off, before going back to watching Buttons.
“We’ve got this Deanna,” Aaron said, “we’ll make sure he doesn’t cause any problems.”
“See that he doesn’t,” Deanna said sharply as she walked away.
“I’m going to go tell Eric about Buttons.” Aaron clapped Daryl on the shoulder, “You good keeping an eye on him for a little bit?” Aaron nodded at Buttons.
“Yeah, ‘m good.” Daryl nodded and Aaron smiled giving Daryl’s shoulder a squeeze.
“Thanks again. Couldn’t have done it without you.” Daryl grunted as Aaron walked away. He might turn out to be an OK guy after all. Maybe he could trust Aaron, he certainly could handle himself. Deanna on the other hand...
He turned to watch her slowly make her way down the street talking to some of the people on their porches as she went. As he watched her he wondered how long she would have survived without this place. There was nothing of the wild in her and if you wanted to survive now in this wild world, that’s what you had to be.
Don’t matter really, Daryl thought to himself, she got her cage. So, with luck we’ll never have to find out.