Chapter Text
The alternate universe versions of himself were a hilarious mindfuck, in Red’s opinion. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror, his own image reflected back but shifted and changed so much it dipped right into the uncanny valley. Every so often he’d get caught off guard by the details that separated them, shudder at the image of himself but all wrong until his brain would catch up and he’d see them as separate people from himself again.
It was funny too, though. Sans had the same love of napping, bad jokes and shitty pranks as he did, even if he looked vaguely uncomfortable with the raunchier stuff, and they had so far managed to prank people by pretending to be each other at least 3 times. Red maintained he was the more handsome one, but still. Blue was also surprisingly funny, and when he wasn’t working he was a hedonist, happy to enjoy surface life to the fullest, throwing himself with shameless pleasure into distractions like Red did, be it lazing in the sun or cruising with his bro.
Razz was the odd one out to Red. They understood each other in a way that only people who grew up in similar worlds could, the instinctive knowledge of how to talk to someone to keep them from shanking you, the wordless understanding of why they tensed at every single movement in their periphery. But Razz was kind of a killjoy - he spent most of his time working for his Queen’s guard and the rest of it hanging out solo with his bro. No hobbies that he knew of, no indulgences in booze or greasy food, and whenever Red cracked the kind of joke that would scandalize Sans, which was at least funny in its own way, Razz would raise an unimpressed brow at him and nothing more.
So yeah, Razz was not his first choice of company. Even Mutt was easier to get along with, despite him never talking and consistently forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago. At least Mutt was nice and Red had a bit of a soft spot for the anxious, quiet kid.
So it really came as a surprise that he’d find common ground with Razz, on his knees and sucking Razz’s dick in his musty room while the rest of the skeletons partied in the living room for New Year’s Eve. They were both sloppy drunk and Red wanted to blame it all on the alcohol - his libido waking up suddenly, his loosened inhibitions, Razz’s sudden openness to even being touched - but he couldn’t deny that Razz, flushed plum purple all the way down his sternum, growling under his breath and pushing his cock into Red’s mouth with bruising speed, would have been a stunning sight even if he was sober.
Razz came into his mouth with a barely audible grunt, then helped Red up, crowded him against the wall and jerked him off until Red came, desperately biting on Razz’ scarf to keep quiet. There were some awkward goodbyes after that and a lot of knowing looks from his brother, but time passed and he didn’t see Razz again for a few weeks, since he once again sank into work and Red got up to his usual bullshit.
Then Razz hit him up at 2am on a random Thursday, a blunt “Do you want to come over to my place and fuck?”, and all of a sudden it became an ongoing thing, one hookup turning into regular booty calls turning into months of casual sex and little else between them. Razz always rebuffed Red’s attempts to drag him out for anything that wasn’t a dick appointment, not rudely but very consistently, but at least the sex was good.
“Give me that,” Razz stated as he pawed at Red’s cigarette, the casual snarl in his voice strangely familiar to Red at this point. The asshole never softened his voice, never sounded sweet. He spit out even the most casual words as if he was picking a fight. Red chuckled.
“hell no, buy your own and quit bumming off of me every time,” he answered, raising the smoke out of Razz’ reach. The pissy skeleton was draped over his lap, naked and bones sticky from sweat, and Red’s magic still twinged at the way Razz’ spine shifted as he moved. Pretty. Damn it, an asshole like Razz had no right to be as pretty as he was.
“Cheap rat bastard. If I start buying smokes I won’t be able to kick the habit again.”
“and that’s my problem?” Red snarked back, then brought his half - finished cigarette to his mouth. Breathe out, and then a deep, deep breath in, taking almost half the cig in one go. He held the smoke in his ribcage, his ambient magic holding it in place but wisps sneaking out through his sockets and in between his joints as he leaned down to Razz’s face. Razz got the message - he opened his mouth, breathing in deeply as Red exhaled smoke in his mouth, long, languid moments of sharing breath that shifted into their tongues moving against each other, the spark of magic between them shooting straight to Red’s pelvis.
By the time they broke apart the cigarette had burned down to a stub, ashes falling onto Red’s stained bedsheets, and Razz’s face was flushed the same colour as his eye lights, blown wide and shiny. Red was intimately familiar with the smug tilt of his smile, both from seeing it when Razz knew he was about to get laid and from looking at himself in the mirror.
“Well. Look who’s up and ready again,” Razz said, sockets crinkling with his smile as he rubbed his face against Red’s pelvis. The magic was already pooling there, and Red was damnably close to summoning a cock just from that look and some makeouts. Razz had a way of making him feel like he was 10 years younger than he actually was in the sack.
“get off if you don’t want me sticking my dick in your socket,” Red grumbled. Razz raised one brow, making his way up to his elbows and positioning his head above his pelvis, his hot breaths puffing against his magic. Red’s hips twitched.
“I’ll have to pass on that one,” Razz said, translucent purple tongue snaking out to lave against unformed magic. That was all it took for Red to summon his cock, not wholly on purpose. “And getting off is kind of the point.”
“did anyone ever tell you you’re not very funny?” Red answered, smile tugging at his cheekbones. Whatever rant he was gearing up for flew away from him as his cock was enveloped by the familiar warm heat of Razz’ mouth. Red groaned, leaning back on his arms to get a better view. Razz had cold hands, just like him, but his magic always straddled the line of uncomfortably hot against his own.
Despite coming once already it took very little time for Razz’ clever tongue and practiced hands to get him close, and seeing the telltale movement of Razz’ hand between his femurs almost pushed him over the edge. It was only by summoning all his willpower that he managed to push Razz away, the other skeleton seeming unhappy to be interrupted. Fuck, that was another shot straight to his libido.
There were some half-formed insults and jokes in the back of his mind, but all Red could think of was pushing Razz back and straddling him, cock rubbing against cock, his own hand curling around them so he could rut into it. Razz panted, always so damnably quiet even as his eye lights blew wide and his body tensed and relaxed as Red moved, his back twinging and his hips aching, but damned if he was going to slow down now. He buried his face in Razz’s neck, inhaling the smell of his sweat and whatever shampoo he used that made him smell so damn delicious in bed as he moved and felt Razz shudder underneath him. He’d placed his hand next to Razz’s face, trying to find purchase, and as he felt the telltale shudder and that funny bit off grunt Razz always made when he was close he felt a hand on top of his, fingers winding through his and grabbing hard, holding on for dear life as Razz thrust forward, almost lifting Red from the bed, and spilled in his hand.
Red let the huffed breaths and the undulations of Razz’s body push him over as well, his orgasm ripping through him slowly but violently. He didn’t even notice how loud he had been until he started winding down, mind rebooting as every exhale he made ended up on a whine.
Red collapsed on top of Razz, too tired to move. Razz didn’t immediately start complaining that Red was smothering him, so he nuzzled his face into the crook of Razz’ neck, letting his breathing settle down and his magic dissipate slowly. Razz very rarely wanted cuddles after sex - he was a wham, bam, thank you ma’am kinda guy, so Red savoured every moment he could get where he was in no rush. This was nice, after all. Comfortable.
The longer it went on, Razz’s breathing slowing under his ribcage, the more Red tensed up. Razz would usually get antsy by now. But he wasn’t trying to dress himself or make excuses for where he needed to go right away. He was still holding his hand.
“you, uh,” Red started, the words ‘don’t have anywhere to be?’ just barely bit off before he said them. This was rare for Razz. He didn’t want to seem like he was rushing him out, not after all the offers to stay close. “you wanna sleep over? it’s late.”
Razz’ reply was silence. Red thought that maybe Razz had fallen asleep (unheard of but with how tired he perpetually looked Red could see it happening) but he didn’t dare move his face to check.
“yeah,” Razz answered, his voice jarring in the quiet of the room. He sounded tired. Not just in the ‘didn’t sleep in a few days’ way, but in the existential way. Red hummed in vague affirmation.
“alright. kick me awake when you have to get up for work,” Red replied, his words trailing off into a wide yawn. Razz didn’t reply to him, his thoughts locked up tighter than a safe as per usual, so Red nuzzled into his side, not moving his hand from its position, and settled in to the gentle lull of Razz’ ribcage moving underneath him.
He knew better than to pry. Razz did not share personal information with anyone but his brother, paranoid bastard that he was, and neither of them were the emotionally open types. He’d probably never find out what was bothering Razz enough for him to stay over. But damn, did he wish he knew why him. Trust? Convenience?
It didn’t matter, really. Razz was a convenient warm body, secret smile and searching looks aside, and Red didn’t need more than that. Razz wouldn’t be open to anything more and Red was too terrified of being close to anyone to even consider it. This distant warmth, uncomplicated, no strings attached, was just right.
Red held Razz’s hand tighter and kept holding it even as he drifted off to sleep. By the time morning came around, he did Razz the courtesy of pretending to sleep while he sneaked out, his fancy guard boots soft on his carpet before he shortcut away. By the time he opened his sockets again, his sheets didn’t smell like fancy shampoo anymore.