Work Text:
"Let's take a short break, everyone!" Minho called out. "Have a drink, then we'll get back to it."
Hyunjin collapsed on the floor of the dance studio with a groan, grateful for the break and far too exhausted to do more than lie there and close his eyes, trying to catch his breath. He was sweaty and warm and some of his hair had escaped his ponytail and was now stuck to his neck, but he couldn't bring himself to care much about how he must look right now. Besides, judging by the panting and tired shuffling around him, they were all in the same boat anyway.
A familiar set of footsteps came his way, and moments later a smaller body dropped down on top of him, making him huff. Hyunjin opened one of his eyes and was faced with the image of Felix resting on his chest, an arm and leg thrown over Hyunjin’s body as he grinned up at him, his eyes shining prettily. And despite being exhausted, Hyunjin moved his hand to bury it in Felix's hair and scratch at his scalp, smiling to himself when Felix seemed to purr.
"You smell really good," Felix mumbled after pressing his nose to Hyunjin's neck. "It's nice."
Hyunjin laughed and wrinkled his nose. He knew he must reek, since he was all sweaty and gross, but what else did he expect from the guy who liked hand sanitiser and had once tried to eat a banana peel? Besides, it wasn't even the first time he had told him this: even as trainees he'd sniff Hyunjin at random moments. "You're so weird."
"Maybe," Felix agreed. He lifted his head to catch Hyunjin’s eye. "But I'm also right."
Hyunjin shook his head in amusement, then blinked repeatedly when Felix shifted so he was leaning over him, resting on one of his elbows. He stared at him, never getting bored of taking in his unique features and his pretty freckles, which were luckily untouched by makeup today. Whenever stylists covered them up, it felt like a sin, and Hyunjin was happy they were getting better at not doing so. His sharp cheekbones, cute little nose and soft-looking lips that so often turned into the loveliest smile, and those pretty, pretty eyes, filled with warmth and a certain purity - Hyunjin could look at him for ages.
Sometimes it was almost surreal that Felix was a real person, because he was so… so Felix. Hyunjin didn’t think he had ever met anyone else quite like him and he didn't think he ever would again. The strangest thing was that Felix was staring back at him with just as much wonder in his eyes, as though he couldn’t quite believe Hyunjin was real, and Hyunjin was aware it was making him flustered, as too much attention often did.
Felix smiled at him and leaned down to rub their noses together, the glint in his eyes when he pulled back nearly enough to take Hyunjin's breath away. He wished he could capture it in a drawing, but any attempts so far had failed; perhaps some things were only meant to exist in the moment. Hyunjin smiled back at him, an action that came easy around Felix, his eyes crinkling as he stroked Felix's hair.
"Hmm…" Felix's lips twitched and then he lowered his head so he could whisper in Hyunjin's ear in his deep voice. "Cutie."
Hyunjin spluttered and smacked his side, face fully red while Felix laughed and jolted against him. "Shut up," he whined, embarrassed at his own reaction, and even more embarrassed because he couldn't tell if it was due to the word or the voice. "If anyone is cute, it's you."
Felix raised his eyebrows, promptly making Hyunjin regret speaking at all. "Oh?" Felix toyed with the bottom of Hyunjin’s t-shirt and watched him carefully, only slipping his fingers under when Hyunjin nodded his okay. He leaned down further, puffs of air now hitting Hyunjin's lips with every breath. "Tell me…" He ran the pads of his fingers along the faint outline of Hyunjin’s abs, and up, up, ever so slowly. "Is this cute too?"
Hyunjin's breath hitched at the touch on his skin, goosebumps erupting on his arms. His eyes were wide as he stared into Felix's, his heart beating fast when their faces got even closer, and he shook his head dazedly when he realised Felix seemed to be waiting for a reply. Not cute, no. Instead he felt like he might implode from the tension, and he'd have to retract his purity analysis, though he supposed someone could be pure without being innocent.
And, he decided as Felix tilted his head and slid his hand even further north, Felix was definitely not innocent.
Hyunjin was about to close his eyes when a splash of something cold and wet made them jump, and Felix rolled off him with a "ya!" Any protests died on Hyunjin's tongue when he saw Minho above them, still threateningly holding a water bottle over his head.
"You looked like you needed to cool off," was all he said. "Break's over, back to work."
As they scrambled to their feet, Hyunjin made eye contact with Jisung, who grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. Hyunjin sighed and straightened out his clothes, avoiding looking in Felix's direction after- well, after whatever that was. His heart was still racing and his skin vibrating, but perhaps that was also from the shock of the water and from practice in general. That wasn't completely unlikely, right?
When he moved back into position, Minho patted him on the back to show he wasn't actually upset. As Hyunjin at last peeked over at Felix and found him already staring back, he couldn't say he felt the same.
********
Hyunjin ran his brush across the canvas, adding more colour to his painting and humming to himself as he watched the progress of bringing the image to life. This form of art was calming in a different way than dancing was, and some days it was the best way (of course the opposite also happened). Plus, seeing his own progress made him feel a sense of pride, and he loved to improve further, to see where he could go.
His playlist was playing quietly in the background and his focus was solely on the canvas, tuning out everything around him. He knew Changbin didn't quite understand why he liked to hide in his room so much, but, well, he supposed that was the difference between an introvert and an extrovert. As much as he loved the other members, he liked this time to himself - needed it, even, to recharge.
And yes, sometimes he'd get too stuck in his head, but that was exactly why he did this: to get out of his head. To not think. Sometimes he'd even tune out completely, other times it didn't quite work and he'd end up rambling late-night thoughts on Bubble, but he didn't think that was necessarily a bad thing.
He dipped his brush into some water and swirled it around, scanning the painting with a critical eye. He was pleased with it so far, to be honest, which was a relief. As he took his brush from the cup, a set of arms wrapped around his neck from behind, making him jump. He glanced over his shoulder, a smile appearing on his face when he caught sight of Felix, who smiled back happily.
"Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in."
Felix shook his head and tightened his grip, nuzzling along Hyunjin’s jaw. "No worries, I know how you are when you find your groove." He looked at the painting and made a small noise of appreciation. "It's really pretty."
Bashful, Hyunjin returned his attention to the painting as well, suddenly worried he'd find something he hated. "Thank you," he mumbled, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. He gasped when Felix pressed closer to him and rested their heads together so they could both look. "Maybe I'll make you another one some day."
"I'd love that." Felix's lips brushed against his ear when he turned his head to speak to him, though whether that was intentional or by accident, Hyunjin couldn’t tell. "You're so talented, Hyunjinnie. You impress me every time." He hugged Hyunjin against his chest, the feeling warm and comforting in a way Hyunjin rarely experienced with anyone else. "And I love watching you do this, you seem so at peace when you're drawing."
Hyunjin squirmed and bit his lip to hide his smile, awkward under the compliments. "Ah, you're too nice."
"You're too modest."
Hyunjin tilted his head to face him, his protests dying on his tongue when he realised Felix was closer than expected. He swallowed and stared into his eyes, his fingers twitching around the brush still in his hand. He parted his lips on an exhale and wet them quickly with his tongue, his stomach swooping when Felix's gaze flickered down to his mouth. "I-"
"Ya, Yongbok-ah!"
Changbin's voice made the two of them jump apart. Hyunjin quickly turned back to his painting and Felix stepped back so they were a respectful distance apart. Hyunjin had almost forgotten some of the members were going out for a meal tonight; he himself had declined, in the mood to stay at home instead.
"Ah, hyung, you're ready?" Felix sounded unaffected, while Hyunjin was sure he himself would sound out of breath if he opened his mouth now, and nothing had even happened, not really.
"Yeah, sorry to keep you waiting." Changbin came closer and looked at the painting, then squeezed Hyunjin's shoulders. "Doing so well, Hyunnie, it looks great. Are you sure you don't want to join?"
Hyunjin smiled at the praise and shook his head. "Thank you, hyung, and I'm sure. I want to see if I can finish this today."
Changbin sighed. "Fine, fine. Just promise me you'll eat later."
"I will, I promise." Lord knew Changbin would somehow find out if he didn't.
"Good." Changbin rubbed his arm and moved away, turning his attention to Felix instead. "Let's go then!"
Felix agreed, but before he followed Changbin away from the balcony, he turned back to Hyunjin and gave him another hug. "I look forward to seeing your painting when it's done."
"You'll be the first to see it."
The words slipped out unbidden, but at the sight of Felix's pleased grin, he couldn’t possibly take it back. Once he was left on his own once more, he turned back to his paints, determined not to leave Felix waiting for too long.
********
Hyunjin was in the cuties dorm, as he had dubbed it, watching a film with the entire group, everyone spread about the living room. He himself was leaning back against Felix on the smallest sofa, where he had been tugged nearly as soon as he had walked in, and to be honest, he was only half aware of what they were watching, tired and more focused on Felix’s breath on his neck and his hands on his waist.
Lately he had been doing a lot of thinking. Lots and lots of thinking about Felix, to be specific. Felix was one of the most precious people in his life, which he had known for years, all the members being important to him, but something had shifted between them. The rings and the way Felix had pouted when Hyunjin admitted he had lost his, the increasing clinginess, the way the two of them were constantly drawn towards each other - Hyunjin wasn't dumb, he knew there was more between them. It was just a matter of who would make the first move, unless he was completely mistaken and Felix actually saw them as nothing more than extremely close friends.
Or, you know. It was a physical thing. Which would be fine, Hyunjin would never fault him for that, but it wasn’t like that for him, at least.
He was resting his head on Felix's shoulder behind him and played with his smaller hands, his shorter fingers. Although Felix wasn't always too keen on the size of his hands, Hyunjin loved seeing the difference, and even now he couldn't resist pressing their palms together and marvelling at the sight.
"I swear you have some kind of obsession with my hands," Felix mumbled in his ear, sounding amused.
Hyunjin shrugged and made himself more comfortable. "Maybe." He grinned and threw Felix a look over his shoulder. "Or maybe I have some kind of obsession with you in general."
Felix's eyes widened in surprise, but before he could respond in any way, Hyunjin turned back around and tucked himself into his side, embarrassed. To his relief, Felix remained quiet, though he continued to hold Hyunjin in his arms, his right hand almost absent-mindedly stroking along his ribs and not helping the short-circuit in Hyunjin's brain whatsoever. He wished he could understand what Felix was thinking, or that he was brave enough to ask, but instead he simply sank further into Felix's embrace and continued to ignore whatever was on TV.
Several agonising minutes later, Felix pulled him in more and nuzzled into his neck, mumbling something Hyunjin couldn’t quite make out.
********
"So…"
As soon as Jisung spoke up, Hyunjin felt his heart drop. That tone never meant anything good and he didn't want to hear what he had to say. Pretending not to hear him, Hyunjin continued making his ramyeon, too tired from practice to bother with anything fancier. He'd order in, but the last time he had ordered food on his own, Minho had acted so offended that Hyunjin had decided to put a pause on that.
"Do you want any? I could add another pack." Food was a safe topic for them. And it was a genuine question, too: Jisung had only just gotten home from the studio, and if Hyunjin knew him at all, he likely hadn't eaten while there, the two of them both terrible at keeping track when they were otherwise preoccupied.
"No, I- Actually, yeah, thanks." Jisung waited a few moments while Hyunjin reached for another packet and poured it into the pan. "But I was gonna ask about you and Felix."
Hyunjin closed his eyes and breathed out through his nose. Of course Jisung wouldn't let it go. "There is no me and Felix," he said instead, stirring the noodles and considering what else he could add. He knew they had some mushrooms in the fridge, that should be alright, right?
Jisung scoffed and when Hyunjin glanced at him, he had his arms crossed and a look of disbelief on his face. "Not yet, maybe, but come on, dude, I've seen the two of you. We all have."
Hyunjin delved into the fridge and picked out some spring onions as well. "What's your point?"
"My point is-" Jisung stopped when the door to their dorm opened and he sighed, his lips twitching into a grin. When Felix's voice called out to them, Jisung stuck his tongue between his teeth. "That. That right there is my point. I bet you anything he won't even notice I'm here."
Hyunjin rolled his eyes and shut the fridge. "I doubt that," he said dryly as he moved to slice the mushrooms and spring onions. So he liked to deflect, sue him.
"Hyunjinnie," Felix sang as he entered the kitchen. "Oh." He stopped. "Jisung, you're here too?"
Jisung snorted and when Hyunjin turned around, he was getting to his feet, waving off Felix's confusion. "Yeah, I was just about to get in the shower. See you guys in a bit." He grinned at Hyunjin. "You should probably make some more food, I think Lix will want to stay."
He left the room and Felix shuffled over to Hyunjin, hugging him from behind. "You don't need to make more, you know, this looks like enough."
Hyunjin hummed, adding everything together and mixing it up. "Are you sure? It's really no trouble, I don’t mind."
"I'm sure." Felix linked his hands together in front of Hyunjin’s waist and rested his cheek against his back, lightly rocking them back and forth and sighing in content. "This is nice."
It was. It was domestic and sweet and Hyunjin had to bite down on his lip so he wouldn't say anything stupid or incriminating. Felix was lovely and warm and the way he rubbed his cheek against him was reminiscent of a kitten, which made Hyunjin want to turn around and- and what, exactly?
They stayed in silence as Hyunjin finished up, Felix plastered to him. Hyunjin froze when Felix moved his head and pressed his lips to Hyunjin's shoulder blade, the touch near enough burning through his shirt. He inhaled slowly and went to turn down the heat before reaching down to hold onto Felix's wrists. His eyes slid closed as Felix moved higher, tiptoeing a little, until he tugged at Hyunjin's shirt so he could kiss his neck.
That move made Hyunjin's knees buckle and he gasped, his head automatically tilting to the side and his hands intertwining with Felix's. Felix, in turn, hummed against his neck before kissing him again, just firmly enough that it made Hyunjin's skin tingle.
He had no idea what was going on right now or what Felix expected to happen, but he saw no reason to put a stop to it and chose to simply enjoy it for now. His breath hitched when Felix brushed his hair aside and nipped at the skin. A small moan escaped his mouth when Felix applied light suction, and the responding tightening around him made him realise Felix wasn't unaffected either.
Hyunjin would never know what could have happened next, for then a door slammed, indicating that Jisung was done showering. They jumped apart, avoiding all eye contact, and by the time Jisung returned to the kitchen, the food was on the table and Hyunjin and Felix were sitting across from each other, the only evidence of what had occurred earlier the flush on their cheeks and the inability to keep their ankles from touching under the table.
********
Clearly, Hyunjin was going about this all wrong. As was Felix, to be quite honest; Hyunjin couldn’t take full blame in this situation. Either way, he hadn’t found the courage yet to do anything about it. Not directly, at least, even though by now direct seemed to be the way to go.
He had been unable to stop thinking about Felix's lips and had been so out of it on the day that Jisung had interrogated him once Felix had left.
"Like I said," Jisung had stated smugly, "nothing's going on yet."
Luckily, after that he had let it go, able to tell that Hyunjin didn’t really want to talk about it anymore. Yes, Hyunjin knew it was silly: Felix was one of the kindest people out there, he'd never drop him or treat him any differently if this was all one-sided. And was it, anyway? Felix was cuddly, but he didn't go around kissing everyone (that was more Jisung's deal), especially not like that. And if it was physical, well. He'd find out.
In an attempt to show his interest without showing his interest, he had asked Felix for a TikTok tutorial, because as much as that app was the bane of his existence, Felix seemed to like it, so surely it couldn't be all bad. If nothing else, spending more time with Felix was always fun, especially since he seemed to be getting into it, giggling as he showed a few of the filters.
"Okay, okay, try this one, I just did it too!"
Slightly wary, Hyunjin scooted closer to Felix, who held up his phone so only Hyunjin was in the frame. "It's nothing weird, is it?" He had already been assured he wouldn't have to do anything like Felix's bum dance, which was great, because Hyunjin didn't particularly feel like shaking his ass at the camera. Yes, yes, he had grinded on the floor a few times for dance videos, but that just wasn't the same thing (and also probably not allowed on their TikTok page, right?).
"It shows you which cat you resemble," Felix told him. "Here, let me." He tapped the recording button and, startled into action, Hyunjin pulled a few faces as he waited for the outcome, when Felix zoomed in on his face.
"We got the same one!" Felix said happily once he had ended the video. He showed Hyunjin the result, then pouted when he noticed a glimpse of his own hair and arm. "Oh. I'm kind of in it too. Do you wanna go again?"
Hyunjin waved him off, deciding that a video with Felix sounded much more tempting anyway, even if this didn't quite qualify as that. One day, maybe. "No, leave it. People will know you're behind it anyway."
"Hey, you asked me!"
Hyunjin grinned and took the phone from Felix's hands, opening it up to look for another filter to use. "Yeah, but the fans don't know that, do they?"
It ended up being surprisingly fun, which was more due to Felix than the app, to be honest, but Felix kept giggling like Hyunjin was the funniest person he'd ever met and he'd cling to him whenever he finished a video to tell him he'd done well and that he was so glad Hyunjin was enjoying himself and that "Hyunjin was born for TikTok", which was an exaggeration if Hyunjin had ever heard one.
"Maybe I should start teaching a TikTok course," Felix mused when they decided that had been enough for today. "You could be my best student."
"Professor Felix." Hyunjin tried it out, then promptly felt his mouth go dry. "I'll stick to private lessons, I don’t think anyone else needs to watch my attempts."
There was a glint in Felix's eyes when he took his phone back and slid it into his pocket as he got to his feet. "Hm. You make a valid point, I think I'd prefer to keep you to myself as well, to be honest."
Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows, but before he could ask any more questions, he was met with an armful of Felix.
"Did you have fun?"
Hyunjin chuckled and held Felix close, his hand on the back of Felix's head to press it against his shoulder. As much as Hyunjin claimed to not be very affectionate and to not be into hugs, having Felix like this was one of his favourite things in the world. It was like holding actual sunshine, though with a perfect brightness and heat. Holding happiness, that was what it was, which was something Hyunjin would never say out loud, because that was so very cringy and cliché.
And Felix seemed so happy to be there, in his embrace, which was something Hyunjin couldn’t quite understand but he wasn't going to argue about it. If Felix liked being around him, he'd endure all the hugs.
"Thank you for today," Hyunjin muttered into Felix's ear, which led to him clenching his fingers in Hyunjin's shirt. After a moment’s hesitation, Hyunjin decided to take a risk and leave a fleeting kiss on the shell of his ear. Before Felix could do more than gasp, Hyunjin let him go and stepped back, his bravery having abandoned him already.
"I promised Innie I'd hang out with him," he apologised. It wasn’t even a lie either and he loved Jeongin, but he kind of wished he had scheduled things better so he could end what they seemed to be starting at last. "But… I really did have a good time."
"Yeah, 'course." Felix smiled, though his eyes were unreadable, and he squeezed one of Hyunjin's hands before dropping it. "We can do this again anytime."
Hyunjin nodded and, with a promise that they would, he left Felix behind, wondering if he had just messed up somehow.
+
Among one of Felix's many good qualities was the fact that he couldn't bear a grudge. He had been just as cuddly as usual, like Hyunjin's own personal teddy bear, and every time the two of them ended up entangled, Hyunjin could see Chan's fond gaze on them. Whatever the leader was thinking was likely wrong, but Hyunjin refused to be the one to burst his bubble.
If Hyunjin had indeed fucked up, Felix wasn't acting like it.
In fact, right now he was cuddled up with Felix in his bed, the other curled around him and telling him about the physical therapy he had to deal with. He was doing better, but he still wasn't better, though Hyunjin had faith he'd be dancing at their next concert. Which was good, because Felix belonged on stage, belonged with all of them, and as happy as he was that Felix had at least been able to be there last time, it wasn't the same as being able to dance with him.
He stroked Felix's back and listened to him talk, humming every so often and admiring the ambiance in Felix's room, the pretty lights and the- the painting Hyunjin had made him displayed so proudly. Felix was someone who cherished the people in his life to an immense extent and their gifts to him likewise, something Hyunjin could only find heart-warming. Sweetest Felix, with a heart so big it was almost overwhelming.
"And so I- what?"
"Huh?" Hyunjin blinked and found Felix looking up at him and eyeing him curiously, red dusting his cheekbones. His voice was a little quieter when he spoke again.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
Hyunjin paused, his brain going into overdrive. How was he looking at him? What was he giving away? He had been told he was both too expressive and not expressive enough, so he couldn't be sure. Could Felix tell? (It would be so much easier if he could.) "Like what?"
"Like…" Felix searched Hyunjin's eyes, his lips pressed together. "Like I'm special?" He laughed, a little shy, and shook his head. "Never mind, it's nothing, ignore me."
"No offence, Lix, but it's kind of impossible to ignore you." Yes, Hyunjin was a coward who couldn't even say 'it's because you are special, especially to me', but he wasn't quite ready to be that direct to his face, as much as he knew he could and should be.
At least he made Felix smile. "That's nice to hear, thank you. I feel the same way about you." He ran his fingers along Hyunjin’s jawline, up to his ear, where he rubbed his lobe between his fingers. When Hyunjin involuntarily arched his back, his lips curled up into a smirk. "Cute."
"What-" Hyunjin's eyelids fluttered when Felix didn't stop touching him. "What are you doing?"
"I don't really know," Felix admitted. "What are we doing, Hyunjin?"
Hyunjin wished he had a response, but all he could do was swallow and grasp at Felix's shirt. He sighed and shut his eyes when Felix's mouth landed on his clavicle and worked upwards to his neck, which was when he squirmed from sensitivity. This was all going really fast, but he couldn't say he didn't like it.
"Do you let everyone do this?" Felix mumbled against him. "Or just me?"
"Just you," Hyunjin breathed, whining when Felix bit down under his ear. "It's just you, no one else."
Felix groaned and crawled up his body until they were face to face, his hand coming up to thumb at his cheekbone. "Hyunjin, I need you to tell me what you mean exactly, before I misunderstand."
Well, that was just cruel, wasn't it? Felix knew very well that this right here was what Hyunjin wasn't great at, although he had been trying to do better. This, the talking, that was more Felix's territory, and he had always excelled at it. Hyunjin closed his eyes and shook his head. "You first," he whispered. Was it even unfair of him to ask when Felix had been the one to make the first move most of the time?
In response, Felix hummed and toyed with Hyunjin's hair. "I'd say that I've been pretty obvious, but looking at your reaction, maybe not." He was smiling softly when Hyunjin opened his eyes and leaned down to nudge him with his nose. "Hi there."
"Hey."
Hyunjin bit his lip at his breathy tone, flushing in embarrassment. Felix didn't seem to mind and only smiled wider.
"I like you, Hyunjin. In the sense that I'd like to be able to kiss you and to be with you. I don't want to be 'more than friends', because I want to be your friend as well as your boyfriend, but if I've misread the situation entirely, then I'll of course be fine being only friends. That's precious enough for me."
"You-" are wonderful, amazing, so, so considerate and lovely, beautiful, kind, perfect. Hyunjin took a deep breath, filled with warmth and confusion and panic, and blurted out "I love you". His face twisted into an expression of mortification, but Felix's lit up, surprise and delight clear on his face.
"I didn't mean to say it like that," Hyunjin hurried to add. "I mean, I do love you, or like you." He hesitated, his hands twitching against Felix's sides. Perhaps he should finally be honest, because if it were ever the time for it, it was now. "No, I- I definitely love you. You're really special to me, Felix."
Felix grinned and cupped Hyunjin's cheeks, radiating happiness and Hyunjin couldn't believe it was because of him. "You know what? I didn’t know if saying it would be too much, but I love you too." He lowered his head a bit more and stopped a hair's breadth away from Hyunjin's lips. "I would really, really like to kiss you," he whispered.
Who was Hyunjin to deny him, his boyfriend, that? He lifted his head to breach the distance and made a happy little noise when they finally kissed, his arms now around Felix's neck to hold him close as he kissed him like his life depended on it. Or rather: like Hyunjin was his life.
The only downside was Jisung's inevitable "I told you so" once he'd find out, but, to be honest, when Felix laid down on top of him and licked into his mouth, he decided he'd gladly let him gloat if this was what awaited him from now on.