Work Text:
The Harassment of Green Arrow
Part one of The Batboys Being Assholes
It was a quiet morning at the manor, and just maybe Jason liked that he knew that. He had started hanging out more and more at the manor in the past couple of months, but never without an excuse. It was half-hearted and the family all knew it, but it made Jason feel more comfortable, so they gave him slack for it. The excuse that was used last night was that he and Roy had a difficult case that they needed help with the next day, not that they planned to actually bring up the case itself. Though he hated to admit it, Jason liked being part of the family. Not that he wasn’t before, everyone made sure to assure him of such for years now, but he never felt like he belonged fully. That feeling was all but purged from himself as he started participating more in family traditions.
One such of these traditions was morning tea, in which the family was currently engaged. Jason, Damian, and Alfred were the only ones actually drinking tea, but it was more about starting the day as a family. While Jason had decided to participate, Roy was still sound asleep in Jason’s new room upstairs in the family wing. Patrol was not particularly exhausting, but Roy was likely tiered from… other activities. Jason was sat by Alfred on a small couch facing the TV, which was turned off. Both Jason and Alfred were engaged in separate novels. Jason was re-reading The Outsiders, whereas Alfred was reading The Catcher in the Rye. This month’s theme of the two’s book club was American literature. Last month’s was horror-theme, in which Cass participated as well. Jason had read Frankenstein, Alfred read Dracula, and Cass had opted for The Picture of Dorian Gray. It was a fun series of discussions and Jason had enjoyed bonding with his sister and pseudo-grandfather. Said sister was one of the few members of the family not present that morning. She, Duke, and Steph were currently working together on a case in Hong Kong and weren’t to be back for at least another week.
Bruce was in town, but was excused from tea time to “Deal with Lex’s bullshit.” A statement which was immediately responded to with a chorus of “Language”s and a payment to the swear jar, an object that Jason despised in every situation except for when it took Bruce’s money. Aside from those five who would normally be in attendance, everyone was here. That coincidentally comprised the population of the room of the batboys, aka the assholes, and Alfred, their keeper.
Jason glanced up to quickly take inventory of his brother’s activities. Dick and Tim were discussing one of the cases that Tim had been working on for the past couple of weeks. The talk was kept light as Alfred had decreed that no work talk was to occur during tea. Damian was sat on a loveseat across from his brothers. He was leaned against the arm of the seat, feet tucked under him, as he sketched in his notepad which he vehemently refused to show when asked, but Jason could tell from his frequent glances at the cat, that the subject was most likely Alfred. The grey cat licked its paw from its vantage point over the living room on one of the window sills and was beautifully lit by the morning sun, a perfect subject.
Jason began to snuggle further into his sweatshirt and the couch as a wave of calm came over him when the doorbell rang. He flinched slightly as did his brothers, all now alert. Alfred pulled out a small device from which he could view the camera on the front porch. Alred pulled a hat out of his bag and handed it to Jason. Jason took the red corduroy baseball cap and secured it on his head tucking in the skunk stripe of white that shot through his jet black hair. Alfred sighed before getting up to answer the door waving off the boy’s respective offers to get it. The boys all listened as Alfred engaged in a short conversation and then closed the door. He returned, a new set of footsteps accompanying him. That was to be expected as the mansion didn’t really attract solicitors, but what wasn’t expected at this time was who arrived in the living room of the manor.
Oliver Queen, billionaire, philanthropist, playboy… Green Arrow. Otherwise known as the pseudo-father figure of the guy passed out in Jason’s bed. Oh, this was gonna be fun. Ollie stood in the living room clearly slightly putting off the stares he received from the boys within the room. The boys quickly went back to their respective activities, now performative as everyone waited for Ollie to engage. Everyone save for Jason who closed his book and continued solid eye contact with the newcomer. Jason watched the mental gymnastics occur in the man’s head as Ollie actively tried to figure out if he had met this specific black-haired, light-eyed boy. Jason had to contain his smirk. Eventually, through the process of elimination, Oliver landed on the fact that he had not yet met this one. Of course, he had, both as a civilian and a vigilante, but Oliver did not know any of the batfamily’s civilian identities, nor would he have guessed that the late Jason Todd had miraculously returned to life. There was a pause in which Ollie turned his focus to the room as a whole, “Hello boys! I just came by to speak with Bruce, but it seems that he is currently engaged with someone else in a call. You boys wouldn’t mind if I sat in here with you all, would you?”
There was another pause, the boys still waiting for one of the others to start the conversation. Before one of them could speak though, Alfred piped up, sensing what was about to happen, “Of course, they wouldn’t, but I must inform master Bruce of your arrival,” Alfred then took his leave from the room walking down the hall before turning the corner out of view. Oliver Queen did not know that Bruce did not need to be informed, the boys did. Oliver Queen did not know that the room Alfred walked into was not the study, the boys did, Oliver Queen did not know that he was standing in the same room as the vigilantes of Gotham, the boys did. Most importantly, Oliver Queen didn’t know that his nighttime activities were known by the entirety of the Wayne family. Of course, the boys did.
“So,” Ollie cleared his throat, “It’s nice to see you boys again.” Ollie took his seat on the same couch as Damian and Jason watched as the boy purposefully displayed his discontent by scrunching into the chair even more.
“You too Mr. Queen!” Dick responded putting on his Wayne persona usually reserved for galas, “Say how is Roy doing? I could have sworn I’ve seen him around, but I can’t think of a reason he’d be in Gotham.”
“Oh. Um, Roy is doing great! He’s staying over with a friend of his here in Gotham. They have a… project that they are working on together.”
“A friend? Here in Gotham? Who is he, maybe I know him!” Dick can play up the sunshine when he wants to, and Jason swears that it’s uncanny how cheerful and offputting one person can be at the same time.
“He’s an interesting kid for sure,” Oliver said awkwardly, “Roy really only knows him from work, so you probably wouldn’t know him.”
“Try me!” Dick said, not willing to give up.
“Um, his name…His first name is Red?”
“I have to say, Mr. Queen, you’re right. I have no idea who that is!” Dick shrugged cheerfully before glancing down at his phone.”
Oliver cleared his throat before turning to Jason. Jason shifted his position in his seat so that he was facing the man before sliding his phone out of his pocket in an inconspicuous manner.
“I don’t believe we have met before,” Ollie stated brightly.
Jason smiled back as he intended to ease into his little scheme, “No we haven’t! I’m a family friend, just stopping in for the week. The name’s Peter.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, Peter,” Ollie extended his hand, “I’m Oliver Queen, but please call me Ollie.”
Jason didn’t take his hand opting to take a photo of the man from his phone. Ollie didn’t seem to notice which was concerning seeing as he was on the Justice League and should notice such things. To be fair to the guy, neither Bruce, Dick, or Jason had noticed Tim stalking them for years. Jason should cut him some slack, but he wasn’t planning on it. He planned on bringing it up to Bruce just to amuse Roy. Jason honestly does a lot of things to amuse Roy and he had big plans to do such today starting with sending the picture of Ollie to his drowsy boyfriend upstairs.
Stay upstairs for a bit, will ya’? [Photo attached] 10:15 am
Royboy <3 : will do babe don't have too much fun without me and if you do… record it 10:16
Your grammar is atrocious. 10:16 am
Royboy <3: love you too
Jason hit the record button on his phone before propping it up on his leg facing the archer. Ollie and Tim are engaged in some light conversation over advertising or something. Jason really wasn’t paying attention as he formulated his first move practically word for word. He reached towards the remote that was located in a small basket on the coffee table in front of him. He picked up the remote looking it over for a few seconds. While Tim was still nodding along with Ollie’s ramblings his attention was now focused on his brother, as were Damian and Dick. With all eyes save for Ollie’s on him, Jason let the smirk that he had been holding spread across his face. A grin that signaled the beginning of his game.
“Damian?” Jason asked, mock innocence in his voice, “Which button turns on the Tv?”
Damian almost answered automatically but thought through his words before answering, and Jason felt a shiver run its way up his spine as the most wicked grin Jason had ever seen spread across the boy’s face. Damian quickly schooled his expression as Oliver looked over to see what the two were talking about.
“I believe it is the green arrow.”
Ollie tensed at the name drop and Jason was suddenly glad he was filming, “Really? I could have sworn it was the red arrow.”
“That’s absurd, Peter. You stay over all the time!”
Dick looked up from his phone to glance over to his brother with his faux innocent look, “Aww be nice Dami, you know those kinds of things aren’t in his arsenal.”
Jason stifled a laugh at Dick’s pun, instead looking over to Ollie. It’s not like Jason hid the laugh well, but even if he hadn’t bothered Jason got the feeling that Ollie wouldn’t have noticed. The man was sweating bullets and had such a blank look of panic in his eyes that Jason had to calm himself, as laughing would forfeit the game.
Tim luckily broke the silence as Jason was fighting a losing battle attempting to not lose it over the blonde’s expression, “Say, what book are you reading Peter?” Jason flipped the novel over so that the cover wasn’t visible to Oliver.
“It’s an Audubon guide, a bird guide,” Jason replied sensing that his brother wanted a lead-in.
“Oh really? I saw a pretty interesting bird earlier. I think it was a black canary or something.”
Jason swore that he didn’t think Ollie’s eyes could get wider.
“Interesting, it’s certainly possible.”
A silence filled the room for a few seconds before Jason began flicking through streaming services.
“What are you looking for on there?” Dick asked.
Jason wasn’t looking for anything, but an in. An in, to his next move.
“Oh, it’s a show about a greek goddess.”
“Oh yeah! I’ve heard about that. Isn’t she like the goddess of the hunt or something?” Tim chimed in.
“What’s it called?” Damian asked, perfectly emulating Dick’s fake innocence.
“Artemis.”
Ollie shot up out of his chair, just as Alfred re-entered the room.
“Ah good. You are still here. I was afraid my boys would have scared you off. Master Bruce will see you now. Third door on the left that away.”
“Thank you, Alfred,” Ollie said, all but running out of the room.
“So,” Alfred started, retaking his seat to the Right of Jason, “Did you film it, or should I send you mine?”
Bonus:
Bruce closed the tab on his computer, hiding his smile at his boys’ antics just as Oliver walked into the room looking more shaken than Bruce had ever seen him. Bruce’s call with Luthor had ended several minutes earlier, but he needed a break, and what was a better method of winding down than watching his sons terrorize one of his co-workers.
“Oliver, how have you been? I trust my boys didn’t give you too much trouble.”
Ollie looked at Bruce as if he had seen a ghost, “I’m good. I’m good. They didn’t give me any trouble at all.”
It was a laughably poor lie even for Ollie.
“Glad to hear it. Now, what did you want to talk to me about.”
“I’m gonna be honest, Bruce,” Ollie started, “I have no idea”