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It happened so suddenly.
The old man was gone.
Gone forever.
Getting that call made time stop. Everything in his life came to a halt. He stopped whatever he was saying before. Or thinking. Anything, really. Interruption itself he had experienced before, but not like this. It wasn't anything like being interrupted saying his title at all. This was an interruption in his life that'd be permanent. Something that couldn't be undone.
Where was he before, during and after that? It was all a blur, if he had to be honest.
It felt like a dream.
Like he wasn't really there. Whoever was in that hospital bed wasn't his Old Man. He didn't feel human anymore; all strapped up onto that bed. Full of tubes and equipment with flashing lights.
That one damned beep that kept going.
As annoying as it was that beep had to keep going. If it stopped... Then..
Hiroto swallowed. With his overly shaky legs, as if he had just played a match, he willed himself to move closer within the room. He sat down on the chair next to it.
The sound of the beeping echoed even louder in his ears.
“Old... Man?” he whispered. There was no one else in the room left, but it felt wrong to be loud. The nurse that led him here earlier left to attend to someone else. But, she did squeeze Hiroto's shoulder before doing so.
Beep... Beep.
What was he doing here? Sitting here at the side of the bed.. was he waiting for anything?
Of course, no way that the Old Man would say anything to him. Just like usual, haha...
Hiroto grit his teeth.
This wasn't the usual, was it?
And even then... It had gotten better lately. Slowly. At least the Old Man had begun actually greeting him. And saying bye when he left for class or a match. Sometimes, they even had some small talk. It felt strange, and the burning need for acknowledgement he developed as a kid had slowly faded, but over time it began to feel comfortable somewhat. Talking about some mundane things. Or about something stupid that happened in class.
It was funny how the Old Man had began talking to him when Hiroto barely had any time to talk. He was the busy one now; running from class to class, practice, hangout with friends and Sun Garden... And most of all, the Entrance Exam was up next. The Old Man actually seemed to care about that part. Naturally it was important to get in that high prestigious University due to the Corporation, but it felt strange that he showed interest in Hiroto's life.
Beep... Beep... Beep...
“Why...?” Hiroto grabbed the edge of the blanket and held onto it. He slowly looked up at him again.
Beep... It felt like that sound was mocking him.
“Why?" His vision became blurry. He blinked rapidly to fix that. Wasn't working, however.
Too many thoughts flashed through his mind at once. Why did it have to be the one day he had to leave really early? He hadn't even seen his face earlier today. Heck, had he even seen him this week? Today was... thursday. The week went by in a blur. Thinking about it, he saw him last sunday.
Like this.. was the first time he'd seen him this new week. But, was the ”see ya, goodnight” of last sunday really the last time he had spoken to him? Granted, they spoke a lot more than years ago, but it didn't feel right. It felt unfair.
If only it wasn't a thursday... He would've still been at home if it were any other day. He could've helped with whatever happened. Hiroto had no clear image of what went down, but he could've done something. He was sure about it. So why was this day? And..
..why did this happen? Hiroto knew that the Old Man was taking some sort of medication. He knew Tatsuya, Sis and Old Man were all hiding it from him, but he wasn't stupid. He had noticed the sudden silence whenever he passed through. Or the hastily shoved aside bottle with pills. Their hushed conversations. Sometimes the Old Man even cracked some sort of joke that was met with protest. Stupid.
What that medication was for was clear as day now.
Hiroto's mind was a mess, but the call he received he could recall clearly.
“Hiroto, come over. Dad had a heart attack.” Hitomiko stated.
“You're joking right...?” he breathed. There was a silence on the other side. “You're... not joking.”
Another pause.
“I'll send you the adress. Got to go now. I'll see you later today. Hiroto, I'm sorry.”
“Sis, wait—”
How could she just say that and hang up on him?! Hiroto stared blankly at his screen.
No... He had no time to waste. Screw this lesson and his stuff.
He stood up and just ran.
Hiroto's mind ran off with those memories; replaying in his head. He shook his head. No use dwelling on those memories. There was no way to change how everything went after all.
All he could do now was... Sit here. He looked at the Old Man again. At the machines.
Beep... Beep...
Those.. machines. They measured his heartbeat didn't they? And another strange one over there kept him... Breathing? The placement of the connected mask(?) seemed to point at that. Hiroto's gaze moved to the arm. All those strange liquids within those tubes... One of those kept him sedated, didn't it?
...he felt ill. He tore his gaze away; unable to keep staring at those injected tubes.
Hiroto pinched himself. Nothing changed. This wasn't a nightmare he could wake up from. It was a nightmarish reality.
He let out a sigh. All this overthinking wasn't like him at all. He'd known that at some point this would happen, especially with the hush hush about his meds, but he never expected to feel like this.
All complicated emotions swirling inside of him. Usually he could get out there and do something about it, but what could he do here? Nothing... He was more a man of action than words, but no matter what action he undertook here it wouldn't change anything.
“Old Man... No, Dad.” He let out a bitter laugh. “Not looking all too good, huh?”
Beep...
He swallowed.
For once Hiroto wished he could talk to Hitomiko about his feelings. Or maybe even Tatsuya... He would listen patiently.
Ah, Tatsuya...
Did he know yet? Probably not or else he had followed him here. He cared a lot about the Old Man.
Hiroto would tell him later. Maybe. There was some hope still, maybe. The nurse said they were doing all they could.
Yet...
Some gut feeling told him that the Old Man might never wake up ever again.
Beep... Beep...
The Old Man... Dad... Never waking up again felt unfair. Sure, they managed to have some sort of small talk from time to time, but there was never some apology for the times Hiroto had been ignored. Too many loose ends.
The very real possibility of losing his Dad terrified Hiroto. He never expected to care this much.
Heh, he was repeating himself now.
Beep...
The creak of a door interrupted his thoughts. Hiroto whirled around.
“Little brother...” Hitomiko said as she walked in. “I'm sorry for earlier.”
“You damn well better be,” he huffed. “You dropped the news and ran.”
She sat down next to him. A hand on his shoulder. “I'm sorry.”
Hiroto felt too exhausted to care at that point. He let out another sigh and redirected his gaze to the bed.
“... what now?”
“I've talked with the doctors and they said they've done all they could,” Hitomiko began; talking slowly as if he were a fragile child. “We have two options left.”
Beep...
Hiroto suddenly became all too aware of his heart pounding loudly in his chest. No, this wasn't happening. Her tone told him enough.
She took his silence as a sign to continue. “Either we keep Father in this comatose state or we take him off life support.” She swallowed. The grip on Hiroto's shoulder tightened. “The doctor advised to do the latter.”
Beep...
The latter... Take him off life support. Hiroto glanced at the machines. All those numbers. He glanced back at the Old Man. At his chest slowly rising and falling.
...they had to try. Keep trying. No way to give up without a fight. His Old Man.. dad... Was stubborn. Ill weeds grow apace, or something like that.
“...keep him like this.” he concluded.
“Hiroto...”
“It happened before right? With Gouenji's little sister. She woke up.”
“...Hiroto.”
“He will be fine.”
“Look at me, Hiroto.”
“And —”
“Hiroto Kira.”
Hiroto looked at her. She wore the scary Big Sister face. “Listen.”
He nodded weakly.
“Dad had a heart attack. There was help right away and he arrived here quickly. But, the machine is what keeps his heart beating right now.”
Hitomiko glanced to the side before continuing. “Sadly, that's not all. The doctor said he has pneumonia. And they found signs of beginning kidney failure too.”
All that? At once? How was that possible?
“But—!”
“No buts, Hiroto. Even if he woke up again he'd be a husk of a person. His heart stopped for too long.”
Hiroto looked away.
“Knowing all that, do you still feel the same?”
“...I don't know.”
“You know what we have to do.” She smiled with sadness in her eyes.
“...don't wanna...” he hiccupped. Hiroto wasn't going to cry. He was not. He, the God Striker, didn't ever cry.
Wordlessly Hitomiko pulled him into a hug. He was still not crying. Only leaking from his eyes. Coincidentally. He definitely did not start crying more when she began rubbing his back.
Beep... Beep... Beep...
He pulled away and rubbed his eyes.
“Hiroto, do you want to talk to him one more time?” she asked.
“Got nothing to say, but sure whatever,” he huffed.
Hitomiko let out a snort. Huh, hadn't heard that of her before. When did she ever laugh like that? Scary. “Sure, little brother. I'll be waiting outside.”
Beep... Beep...
And there he was again. All alone with the Old Man.
“Old Man... Dad... Can you hear me?” he began. His voice more quiet than usual. There was no one else, but he didn't want to be heard.
“Bet you can. You never paid attention to me till recently so you staying quiet is just like old times,” he huffed.
“But...” He looked around to be sure. No one else. Good. “I wish you noticed me earlier. There was so much I wanted to talk about...”
Beep... Beep... Beep
“But you never listened to me. I can never forgive you for that.”
Hiroto reached out and touched his hand. So cold... “Everything else I'll say now I'll only say once. So now you have to listen to me.”
Beep...
“I'll be the damnest best CEO you have ever seen. I won't halfass it. Kira Corp is in the best hands,” he declared with a grin.
“Before you bother me again about arranged marriages, I'm not alone. Because I have the best partner at my side as well. We'll make Kira Corp even better than before. I got good taste. No need for stupid arranged marriages.”
Beep... Beep...
“Still listening, Old Man? Better be. Because I got one thing left to say. Aside from fuck you for leaving me like this.”
“....” This was harder to say than he thought. He took in a deep breath. His voice was a whisper. “Dad... I love you.”
Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...
Hiroto promptly stood up, turned around and started making his way to the door.
“...Dad...”
He clenched his fists. One more step.
“See ya.”
Hiroto exited the room.
Beep... Beep...
Hiroto was about to let out a sigh of relief, but it wasn't truly over yet. Many pairs of eyes were on him as he exited the room.
Waiting for Hiroto were more people. Standing next to his sister were aunts and uncles Hiroto hadn't seen in years. More old and worn than he remembered. Grey hairs, large eyebags... They were getting old. The only exception was his young cousin, Shuugo if he remembered right, anxiously bouncing up and down. Unusually quiet.
Shuugo latched onto Hiroto's leg silently. Hiroto patted his head.
A nurse soon joined them. She ushered them inside, again.
Beep...
This time Hiroto kept standing at the bedside with his little cousin clinging to him. He didn't want to sit down again.
The nurse began explaining something about the process. About shutting down the machines. About how his heart would keep going for a few moments even after everything was shut down.
So Sis clearly already decided. It felt surreal.
Beep... Beep...
“Would you all like a moment with Mister alone? You can call me back in once you're all ready,” the nurse finished.
It was happening so fast.
Hitomiko nodded. “Thank you.”
Beep... Beep... Beep...
Again, everything happened in a blur. Short stories were shared. Apologies were made. Tears were shed.
What stood out to Hiroto was Shuugo's soft voice in the middle of all the noise. “Uncle... Bye...bye...”
Beep... Beep...
Hiroto didn't want to cry. He swallowed. A hand grabbed his. Hiroto held back the urge to cry out from surprise. Instead, he jerked his head up and looked in that direction. Sis... She squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.
Beep...
And just like that the nurse came back in again. Everyone in the room was crying. Some sobbing loudly.
Hiroto felt out of place. So vulnerable. So unlike his usual self. Too many emotions in one small hospital room.
His grip on Hitomiko's hand tightened.
Beep... Beep...
The machines were shut down. The lights turned off. The heartrate slowed down.
Beep...
The Old Man's chest shook a few times. Some cried out in hope.
....the sound of beeping stopped permanently.
Silence was the only sound that filled the room.
The Old Man was gone.
Hiroto felt like he had lost a piece of himself he would never get back.