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Prologue
It kind of started with a song. A really, really annoying song that refused to leave his mind, with lyrics that popped up now and then to tease him.
But then again, it also started with the damn fish.
Thinking about it later on, Steve decided that it definitely had started with both.
Part I
It was after he had made him touch the fish in the restaurant’s kitchen, that he noticed people avoiding Danny afterwards.
He knew it had to be because of the strong fish smell his partner was giving off, but by now Steve wasn't able to smell it himself anymore.
But while they were grabbing some beer in the shop to head to Steve's afterwards, where Danny swore the first thing he would do was shower, lyrics to a song Mary had sent him a few days ago suddenly popped into his head.
I wish you smelled a little funny
Not just funny really bad
We could roam the streets forever
Just like cats but we’d never stray
It wasn't exactly that he had a thing for Danny. He just didn't like sharing his partner. With anyone. Except maybe Grace, Chin and Kono.
But that wasn't because he had a thing for Danny and got jealous.
Seriously, it wasn't.
Still, he couldn't deny the spark of pleasure when a young, pretty woman who had been drooling over Danny from across the aisle longingly, beat a hasty retreat when she got a smell of him.
Maybe he should start thinking about putting something rotten in Danny's car. They could smell bad together and just keep each other company. Friends hanging out.
In hindsight, that was when Steve should have gone to get his head examined.
Part II
Sleep was for wimps. Sleep deprivation made you see pretty colors.
Steve had heard all of that before, but this… was worrying.
Danny and Grace were staying over because Rachel and Stan were gone for a three week trip and Grace had decided that that was the perfect time to get the flu. And Danny, great dad that he was, had decided to share his daughter's misery and had promptly gotten it too.
So Steve had taken time off from work, had bundled the miserable duo up and had moved them into his house for the time being.
What had followed were pathetic faces that kind of made his chest ache, chicken soup that had nearly burned down the house because his cooking kept getting interrupted by calls of "Steve, tissues." or "Uncle Steve, juice, please."
There had also been movies. Animated movies. About mermaids. There had been a red haired one and one that had looked disturbingly like one of Grace's dolls.
And now, here Steve was, his partner and his daughter curled up together on the sofa, rumpled and exhausted but finally asleep.
Something Steve desperately wished he could do too. But he had to keep up the watch in case they needed something.
Relaxing into the chair he was occupying, he blinked sandpaper dry eyes and suddenly… suddenly Danny had a fish-like tail peeking out from the blankets instead of two feet.
Perplexed, Steve blinked again, but nope, it was still there. Big, and blue and really pretty.
Unbidden, that damn song burst into his mind.
I sometimes wish you were a mermaid
I could raise you in the tub at home
We could take a swim together
On weekly day trips to the bay
Well, he would be damned.
Should he move Danny right away? Or was he alright for now?
Maybe he should go and fill up the tub with water from the ocean. Mermen were from the ocean, right? Danny probably wouldn't appreciate tap water.
Gleefully, he rubbed his hands together.
No more sharing of Danny. And his partner couldn't run away anymore either. And he would finally have some leverage.
Swimming in the ocean only if Danny behaved. No more mocking of Steve's habits, faces or actions. And Steve would decree that Danny would have to remember that he was a Commander of the Navy. No more Army, no Sir.
But first, he had to get Danny into the tub, before that pretty tail dried out. Or no, first he had to get the water. Or the tub? Or the water?
"STEVE! Tissue."
Startled, Steve sat up and blinked. And blinked some more.
Danny was still cuddled up to Grace, but the tail was definitely gone.
Cursing under his breath, Steve handed over a tissue and then watched as Danny fell back onto his pillow and closed his eyes once more.
Fuck it, it was time to sleep. Pretty colors were okay but downright hallucinating was a no-no.
He would hear if these two needed something. They would make sure of it, he thought with a fond smile, before tugging the blanket more securely around them.
Then he settled more comfortably into the chair, curling up a bit and fell into a restless sleep, dreaming all the while of merman Danno swimming circles around him, while laughing like a madman. But that was okay, because it was just the two of them and no one but him could see Danny's naked chest.
Part III
The idea of fattening up Danny started when they had to help get a cousin of Kamekona's out of his house for a surgery appointment. The man was extremely obese and getting him up from the bed was a serious challenge. He needed to be lifted into the bed of a truck because he didn't fit into the ambulance.
Watching the retreating car, Danny shook his head. "Poor fucker. Any more weight gain and they won't be able to get him out of the house. He won't be able to leave."
And that triggered something.
Triggered the song, in fact.
I wish you were a little bigger
Not just big but really fat
Doors you would no longer fit through
In my bed you would have to stay
It was just a thought, but nothing concrete. At least, not then.
But then, suddenly Danny went on a date. And that meant gloves off. The game was on.
************************
He started it slowly. Upped the malasada he always brought Danny, added a few coco puffs, soft drinks and some other stuff he had always before criticized Danny for eating. He still made Danny eat a salad here and there, it wouldn't do to make his Danno… his partner sick, but he definitely focused more on the sugary side of things.
At first, Danny eyed him funnily, but then easily accepted the tasty, cost free treats. And if he noticed that Steve doubled what he brought whenever Danny mentioned a date, he didn't say.
He threatened to shoot Steve though when the SEAL tried to sneakily measure his waist.
And when Steve suggested if maybe he should stop running and instead play some computer games or something else that involved not moving so much - all in the interest of his knee, naturally – he only laughed as if Steve had made a joke. Which he hadn't.
This plan would go a whole lot faster if Danny would just stop exercising and start eating more.
He would lo… like Danny even if he was huge as a whale. His own, personal whale. A nice, cuddly constant in his bed.
But then came the day when Danny came back from the dentist.
Which was the end of the endeavour of fattening Danny up. Apparently sweets were out for the near future.
And while normally he would crow in delight to see Danny turning into a sugar–refusing, salad addict, he couldn't help but secretly pout.
This was getting stupid.
And Danny was still going on dates.
Life was not fair.
Part IV
Getting shot sucked, Steve thought. It always had, and always would. But damn, the drugs that were handed out when it happened were phenomenal.
Grinning like a loon, he glanced up into Danny's anxious face, which peered down while the medics desperately worked on his leg in the cramped space of the ambulance.
His partner's face was pinched, his eyes worried and the grip he had on Steve's hand was painful and desperate. But it was his hair that was a real mess. Totally out of place, in fact, all over the place, mussed and in small tufts, it looked like a ruffled birds nest. Or a really fluffy baby chicken.
Giggling, he tried to touch the fluffy feathers with the hand that was not gripped and nearly poked out Danny's eye.
"Feathers" he giggled.
Danny's face softened, and he shook his head with a slight smile. "Not feathers, babe. Hair. I know I don't look my usual dashing self, but it's still my hair."
Steve thought he heard one of the medics snort, but he didn't care. Instead he pouted. "No feathers?" he asked, uncertain.
He thought feathers would suit Danny. Danny would be a cute baby chicken. Again he tried to touch the hair. It looked really soft. Maybe as soft as feathers?
"No feathers, sorry babe."
"Damn," he muttered. "I could have kept you in a cage if you had some. All for myself. No more going on dates that are not with me. No more other people ogling your ass. Which is very nice by the way. But not as nice as your feathers."
And absentmindedly, he started speak-singing that damn song that wouldn't leave him alone.
He only managed "I often wish that you had feathers - I’d keep you in a giant cage - All day long I’d sit and watch you - I’d sing for you and that would be okay" though, because by then the drugs weren't working so well anymore, the EMT's were pressing harder than necessary, probably because they were laughing, and Danny was gripping his hand really, really painfully, while frantically asking what the hell they had given his partner.
The world just then started to get blurry and darken and all Steve could think was that he'd have really liked to carry Danny around on his shoulder, always at his side.
************************
He woke up in a hospital bed, still drugged but not so much that he couldn't remember with acute embarrassment what had happened in the ambulance. He felt his face heat up and thought for a second about suffocating himself with his pillow, but a look to his side let all morbid thoughts disappear.
Danny was sitting in a chair, head tilted at an awkward angle while he snored and his knee, which had probably gotten banged up again during the shootout, was elevated and in a splint on a second chair. He looked tired and was still mussed and he probably had stayed at Steve's side as much as he had been allowed to.
Feeling a wave of affection wash over him, Steve couldn't help but reach over and softly touch his hair. It was soft like feathers.
Part V
So, they hadn't talked about what had happened in the ambulance.
Danny kept giving him thoughtful looks now and then, but otherwise everything had stayed the same.
Steve was glad. Mostly. He'd have liked a bit of change, but then, it could have been a bad change. A change for the worse instead of the better.
Checking his gun one more time, he pushed up his sunglasses and made ready to storm yet another drug establishment.
And smiling at Danny, who was right beside him doing the same, he decided that for now what he had was enough.
************************
I wish you were a little slower
Not just slow but paralyzed
Then I could plug you into a socket
So you could never run away
So, he had thought about the second to last verse of the lyrics. Mostly when Danny decided to end an argument by simply leaving. Which was aggravating.
"But seriously, man. You.Don't.Tazer.My.Partner. EVER!"
And with a vicious kick to the stomach, he left the already shot and handcuffed drug dealer to return to Danny's side. Settling down on the floor next to the paralyzed blond, he pulled the smaller man into his arms, rocking him slightly. "It will wear off soon, I promise. And then I'll take you home and I'll take care of you. If they let me,“ he conceded.
It was so easy, talking like this, when he knew that Danny could neither reply nor leave.
And while he was still ready to shoot the drug dealer if he so much as moved before their back up came in, he was also glad for this chance. Because maybe it was time to talk to Danny, to get him to stay.
Getting him to smell or fattening him up obviously wasn't the way to go and while the bird cage probably had some merit if they ever decided to get kinky, it was time to bring Danny up to speed.
Petting the back of the man pressed against his chest, he let his head fall back against the wall before starting to talk.
"You know, it started with the damn song. But not really. Because I liked you before that. But I think I only realized how much when you started to date these bimbos. And yes, I realize they were probably perfectly nice woman, but they certainly weren’t right for you. But I would be. Could be, if you'd only let me.
I know I can't keep you all to myself, no matter how much I want to, but I want as much of you as you’ll allow me to have. And if you decide all I get is your friendship, that will be enough too. I just need you at my side."
And that had been that. Backup had come in and had taken the suicidal drug dealer away who had started to hum the wedding march while making kissing noises, Danny had been whisked away by EMT’s and when he had come back a day later to HQ, he had acted as if nothing had happened.
Well, not really.
He had told Steve he'd have to think about it.
Part VI
It was Saturday afternoon and he was dozing on a towel on his beach when suddenly something cold and heavy made contact with his stomach.
He sat up with a yelp and made a grab for the beer bottle before it could roll into the sand. Then he looked up and saw Danny standing next to him.
"Danno…"
A beer in hand himself, the other man sat down next to Steve and twisted open the cap before taking a deep swallow.
"I Googled the song."
Not understanding, Steve started to ask, but was interrupted.
"The one you tried to sing in the ambulance. The one you were talking about while I was…paralyzed. You and Me, right?"
Steve gave a cautious nod.
Danny gave him a small smile before taking another swallow, but then he focused on the ocean and Steve felt his stomach sink.
"You know, babe, I realized quite a bit when listening to it. I like it by the way, even if it brought out a certain creepiness in you that I find weirdly adorable. And I don’t want to know what that says about me. But seriously, fattening me up? How exactly did you imagine I would keep up with the criminals? Roll after and then over them?”
Steve gave an embarrassed laugh and sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "It wasn't really a plan, Danno. And I have to admit the whole thing was crazy. But so was how it made me feel when you went out with other people."
An elbow hit his side and made him gasp.
"And you never thought of just talking to me? Preferably before the EMT's started to think we had a weird feather fetish going on?"
Steve felt his eyes widening and shocked, he stared at his partner. "They don't…"
Danno grinned. "They so do. But never mind that, not their business. The thing is, Steven, fun as the song is, I can't always be with you. And I know the song says "I really wish that you were smaller - Not just small but really, really short - So I could put you in my pocket - And carry you around all day" at the end, but we both know I'm not that small. And I seriously hope you don't have some weird-ass plan where you manage to shrink me or something."
Danny glared, but clearly his heart wasn’t in it.
"But you have me, okay? You had me ever since you took care of me and Grace. And if you don't fuck up monumentally, you'll always have me. Only you, no one else, you possessive Neanderthal."
And then he pulled Steve into a kiss.
Which was nice.
What was also nice - and amazing and hot and mindblowing - was how he let Steve have his way with him afterwards.
But what had Steve wearing a goofy smile for the entire world to see?
Was the small puppet that he found in his shirt pocket the next day.
Tiny, blond and dressed in a dress shirt with a tie. And in its hand, a little note that announced in bright red letters, "Danno Loves You!"
~End~