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“It’s okay. The captain doesn’t have his ears anymore either, Yifan. It’s not like it means anything,” Gao Yingjie said, though the way his eyes were fixated on the top of Qiao Yifan’s head made Qiao Yifan feel otherwise. “It’s no big deal. It’s just a decoration, really.”
Qiao Yifan hadn’t been the least bit surprised when he’d woken up that morning to find his ears had receded. They weren’t all the way gone, there was still a little nub there when he combed his fingers through his hair, but if you were looking at him straight on, the ears weren’t visible. Pretty soon, the nubs would recede too, and he’d be left with a smooth scalp beneath his head of hair just like his parents and every other adult in his life outside of his team.
Qiao Yifan might have been expecting this, but Gao Yingjie certainly hadn’t been. Gao Yingjie’s own ears drooped down, and his tail hung limply between his legs. Qiao Yifan had accepted his fate long ago. He had accepted that, unless some type of miracle happened, this was going to be his last year as a pro player. There was no way the team was renewing his contract. But Gao Yingjie...Gao Yingjie had always believed in him. Even when Qiao Yifan was the last one to finish their training exercises Gao Yingjie didn’t stop cheering for him. He didn’t stop talking about how Tiny Herb would be theirs one day with the two of them forming a dual core — witch and assassin.
It was crushing to see his friend so distraught, and Qiao Yifan felt a lump forming in his throat. It was breaking him to see Gao Yingjie so torn up over this. Gao Yingjie didn’t deserve to feel sad just because Qiao Yifan wasn’t good enough to pull his own weight.
Qiao Yifan sucked in a breath, composing himself before reaching out to squeeze Gao Yingjie’s shoulder. “Yeah, it’s no big deal. Doesn’t mean anything,” Qiao Yifan said, forcing a smile.
***
“The assassin class doesn’t let you use your full potential. With your great situational awareness, you should try out ghostblade.”
Qiao Yifan’s heart raced at Ye Xiu’s words. It was the first time in a long time that Qiao Yifan had truly felt seen. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had noticed him or praised his abilities like this, and he’d definitely never heard such high praise coming from a Glory god.
Maybe there was still hope after all. Maybe he didn’t need to give up on his dream of being a pro player. Excitement coursed through Qiao Yifan’s veins, and there was an itch in his scalp that he hasn’t felt since he was young. He didn’t look any different when he looked in the bathroom mirror later — his ears were still invisible — but he felt something new blooming within him still.
***
Qiao Yifan practiced ghostblade in the dark of night when no one was around. It was exhilarating to be such an important part of a team, and he found himself daydreaming about running dungeons with Lord Grim when he was supposed to be practicing his assassin.
His ears started creeping back up through his hair, and he had to carefully comb the strands in the morning to keep them hidden. There was only one person on the team who had even noticed he’d lost his ears, but he wasn’t ready to share this with them yet. If Gao Yingjie knew he’d been practicing ghostblade in secret he’d definitely try to help him and possibly jeopardize his own career in the process.
No, this was something Qiao Yifan had to work through alone. When the time was right he’d show Gao Yingjie and the rest of the Glory world the progress he’d made.
***
The All-Stars rookie competition had felt like the perfect opportunity for Qiao Yifan to show off his new skills. Even if Tiny Herb didn’t want to renew his contract, surely another team would give him an offer. Especially after Gao Yingjie’s stunning performance, Qiao Yifan had been imbued with confidence when he had walked on the stage.
The reality, though, the reality of sitting up on that beautifully lit stage and realizing that he was still an insignificant rookie in the eyes of this Glory veteran was crushing.
“...a new record! The fastest end to a rookie competition in All-Star’s history!”
Tears blurred Qiao Yifan’s vision as he ran from the stage. He heard Gao Yingjie call after him and ran faster — he didn’t want Gao Yingjie to see him like this. He sprinted out the doors and down the dark, twisting hall. He kept running until he was hopelessly lost and unsure which way he’d come from and which way was the exit.
“You were too reckless,” a voice called out. Qiao Yifan kept running, unsure that the voice was meant for him.
The voice called out again, telling him to stop, and Qiao Yifan did as he was told. He halted in his tracks and turned towards the shadow looming beside him.
The shadow’s tail flicked, and a man stepped out.
“What were you thinking? If you wanted to show off your skills you should have picked a different opponent. Li Xuan a top god when it comes to ghostblades, and you’ve only been practicing for one month. ”
How did this man know he’d only been practicing ghostblade for such a short time? Qiao Yifan thought, and then it hit him.
“God Ye?”
“That’s right!” Ye Xiu replied. Qiao Yifan stared at the way Ye Xiu’s tail swished behind him. His eyes wandered up to look at the bright orange eat ears on Ye Xiu’s head. The only Glory God Qiao Yifan had been this close to had been Wang Jiexi, who didn’t have any ears. It was amazing that Ye Xiu still had his ears after accomplishing so much — it meant that he’d truly been following his heart this entire time.
“There’s no need to doubt your potential, but you need to be patient and wait for the right opportunity. Who can you hope to impress after just one month of practice?”
Qiao Yifan wiped the tears from his eyes, finally understanding what Ye Xiu had meant by being too reckless. He’d been in so much of a rush to show off his new class that he hadn’t thought things through. He was still young. Even if he couldn’t get signed on with another team once his contract was up, it wasn’t the end of the world. He would just keep trying until he succeeded.
“What about you?” Qiao Yifan asked as Ye Xiu was turning to leave. “Why did you retire?”
“Me? I’m still looking for an opportunity!”
***
Qiao Yifan returned to the stadium and took his seat next to Gao Yingjie. Gao Yingjie leaned over to touch his shoulder, making sure he was okay, but his eyes widened in shock when he looked at Qiao Yifan’s face.
“Yifan!” Gao Yingjie exclaimed, warranting a series of shushes from their teammates who were watching the next match. “Yifan,” Gao Yingjie repeated, his voice barely above a whisper this time. He brought a hand up to rest in Qiao Yifan’s hair. “Your ears.”
Gao Yingjie’s smile was filled with warmth and delight as he scratched behind one of Qiao Yifan’s ears, and Qiao Yifan didn’t even need to raise his own hand up to feel how proud and full his ears were standing on his head. Gao Yingjie quietly gave him a run down on what he’d missed while they watched the remainder of the rookie match, his hand never leaving Qiao Yifan’s head.
Qiao Yifan watched the match, but he didn’t feel jealous of Tang Hao’s performance or even ashamed of his own. Even though he’d lost his own match, he’d gained something valuable today.
Hope.
Perhaps his career had taken an unexpected turn or two, but it wasn’t over. There was always a way forward.
This was only the beginning.