Work Text:
Morning, study, work, morning, study, work, morning, work, work, morning, knock, work.
When did everything warp together? You had a routine now and you never had a routine before.
It was new. Not being phased by anything in your town anymore. You just move on with your day. Your Friday therapy sessions had been cancelled and the little Spartan flat had closed its door to you. Because you were better now.
Mornings with Robin, check on the park and the weather warns you if it's Kylar or Whitney. Saturday night dates with Avery. They might be getting bored of you now. Or not. You smiled and nodded and stripped and fucked. Routine. Maybe that's what Avery likes.
Take the secret path into the woods to the lake and go a bit deeper to spend an evening or two with Eden before heading back out. Couple of days at Alex's. Dropping by the temple to see Syndey's bowed head. You didn't know if they prayed in earnest or not anymore.
Days at Landry's or Briar's or Daryl's or Sam's didn't matter anymore. Well, they did but you couldn't tell your shifts apart. Hands remained exploring, eyes stayed greedy.
And you were okay again. Being okay here meant that you were just another body going through the motions, letting your body run you downstream. The town had won. You were playing it's game of keeping your head above the water.
Nothing felt naughty anymore. You lifted your shirt and bares your crotch and let people look. You had become one of the town's people, just letting yourself commit acts that you never would have thought you would have when Bailey called you into their office to explain your new circumstance.
A haze had fallen and you didn't feel in pain anymore but no one is supposed to never wake up from a dream. You were walking in slow motion, going through with your routine with practised strokes. Play with Robin, Pet Kylar, let Whitney Use you, Dote on Avery and let Sydney do whatever they deemed. You doubt that they registered you more than just a presence. They seemed as disinterested as you.
Maybe if you don't go to Alex's for a week, they'll forget who you were to them. Remebering the person who helped them with their farm, tough and fighting back against Remy's goons was better than seeing the same person make their way over, 8am on the dot. Let horses and cattle out, feed pigs, milk, relax, brush, tend to a field, spend some time with Alex and leave. Maybe they also struggled to differentiate you from the faceless farm hands.
Maybe Robin was growing closer to another orphan and wished for them to be the one snuggling them when playing their games. Kylar would lose interest and find someone just a bit sweeter, someone a bit more scrappy to fixate on. Whitney usually just needed a hole and there were plenty of pretty faces and revealing clothes. Avery could have his pick of orphans. Sydney was less malleable and maybe they'd be the one to find someone to mold this time. Eden could hunt another and Alex could find another to hold.
You struggled to even see yourself. Why did you fight so hard in the beginning, you struggled to remember. To find the fire to fight again would be sublime, to be not another body for the people you knew. You provided physical comfort for the people you loved despite their jealousy and rage and dominance but you didn't know if they ever loved you for more than that.
You were fulfilling your role and once just fulfilling was too boring, people moved on to people who still had fight. You wondered if you might end of in one of the houses on Domus or Danube street. Watching the game or having a tea party. Robin might be long gone, toward better horizons. Kylar would be in the federal or mental institute. Whitney might be between marriages or partners or jobs or find something they love and stay. Sydney may carry on in the temple to become like Jordan, or get thrown out and blame you for losing the best thing they had. Alex might sell the farm or live their own groundhog Day, with their strict schedule and drink their liver away. Avery will have lost interest a long time ago, their eyes already wandering when there was a blemish on your face. Eden will fade into obscurity for you and you will do the same for them.
Did the others even remember you? Did Niki pause on your photograph, or Remy squint at you, trying to remember why your face looked familiar. Were you just another in a long line of chefs and bartenders and dancers and were there other people to torment when you had assimilated.
You didn't know why that upset you. You had been in pain and their attention was fixed. But when you become what they always wanted, someone going through the motions, they would tire of the routine. Why do you need to destroy yourself for their attention and why did you want that. Why would you want that.
Maybe you should get out of this town. You never will though. It had already become normal. However, you did doubt that that bright red moon existed anywhere else. It wouldn't be able to follow you out of town.
So, there was still some memory of your fighting days. An ivory necklace sent off and you were the one who did that.
So while Kylar was put into isolation, while Robin became a professor, while Whitney struggled to pay alimony, while Alex struggled to remember when exactly they were sober last, while Sydney visited a greying Sirris every Sunday, while Eden went through the motions and blind to the grey in their hair, the pale figure remained the same as you remember. It was your ghost and you were it's little graverobber.
It was miserable because you had taken what remained of it and it decided it will haunt what remains of you. Red moons meant muddy shoes and wet clothes. It meant wanting to break free of it's possession less and less.
So when your room was empty and the missing posters were covered up by advertisements for the new refurbished business and town reminders, it will remember you. When another orphan, new to the ropes, got your old room and became the new shiny red apple of the town's eye, you would be safe.
You'd be going through the motions, from morning, to work, to evening, like you had been. But this time the Wraith could do too. You let it lead you here and there and your mind grew tired and became hazy and sleepy. The Wraith promised to take care of you but you were already gone.