Work Text:
1.
It was a rainy, grey afternoon in New York City when Foggy Nelson asked Matt Murdock on a date. Sort of.
They were hanging out in their dorm room listening to something terrible on the radio. Foggy had only just got off the phone with his parents, after spending an hour hiding in the bathroom to get some privacy while they talked both his ears off.
He was also having something of a crisis.
Foggy took a deep breath, to prepare himself for the nosedive his life was probably about to take. “So, Matt, I... may have told mom I was bringing someone home for Thanksgiving. Romantically. And I don’t actually have anyone to bring?”
Matt sat up on his elbows just to raise an eyebrow. It was pretty hot. Foggy generally tried not to think thoughts like that, which was honestly hopeless because Matt was always hot and Foggy always noticed. “Why not take Marci?”
“I asked her! Apparently she already has plans. With her family. Who she does not want me to meet.” To be fair, Foggy didn’t really want to meet her family anyway. They sounded terrifying and rich. They had a summer home. He wouldn’t be surprised if they had a butler or something equally ridiculous.
“So… you’re asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend. For an entire weekend.”
Foggy winced. “Well, when you put it like that it just sounds stupid.”
“No.” Matt paused. Foggy’s heart skipped a beat. “What the hell, I’ll do this for you. Who else are your parents going to believe you’d bring to Thanksgiving?”
Foggy only barely held back a sigh of relief. “Thanks, buddy. I owe you, like, a thousand.”
Matt grinned. “No worries, Foggy. I hear your mom’s a great cook.”
--
Foggy’s mom was, indeed, a great cook. This didn’t change the fact that she was also nosy as all get out.
She didn’t ask how Matt lost his sight, which had Foggy literally thanking God for his good fortune, but she did ask how he and Matt got together, which was arguably worse because they never agreed on that particular part of their fake backstory. Foggy wished the ground would open up and swallow him.
Luckily Matt reacted before Foggy could start digging himself into the world’s deepest hole. “Oh, it’s really not that interesting, Mrs Nelson. Right, Foggy?” He threw an arm around Foggy’s shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.
“Oh, no, yeah, no,” said Foggy quickly. He relaxed into Matt’s side a little. It was nice. “It just kind of… happened? We do live together.”
Mrs Nelson looked incredibly unimpressed. “Son, I gave birth to you. I raised you for eighteen years. I’ve been able to tell when you’re lying to me since you were five years old and said you didn’t know who ate the last donut in the box.” She leaned forward. Everyone around the dinner table held their breath. “You boys are adorable. I’ll bet it was real romantic.”
Foggy laughed nervously. “Oh, well, um, I guess you could say that? It’s kind of embarrassing to talk about.” He looked down at the table, feeling blood rush to his cheeks. It was kind of embarrassing that they hadn’t realised his mom would want to know such a basic fact about their relationship. “Maybe later, mom, we do have food to eat. And such.”
He held his breath until she nodded and took another bite of her mashed potatoes. Beside him, he felt Matt let out a breath of his own.
“So, Matt,” she said after a moment. “What are you studying?”
--
What felt like a lifetime later Foggy scraped up the last of his pumpkin pie and pushed his chair back. “That was amazing, mom, thank you, I’m going to bed now, bye.”
He leant down to take Matt’s elbow and saw her actually start cooing, which was the exact moment he officially decided to leave his parents’ home and never ever return for the rest of his life.
“Also I’m running away!” He called over his shoulder as he led Matt out to his room.
“I’ll believe that when I see it, mister!”
He closed the bedroom door and slumped against it with a defeated sigh. Matt smiled. “Well, that wasn’t so bad.”
“Dude!” Foggy put his hands on his face. “Dude, we are so fucked.”
“Not from where I’m standing.” Foggy still had his head in his hands, so he jumped a little when Matt’s hand found his shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. “Look, your mom might be a little suspicious but I doubt her first conclusion will be ‘my son was so stressed over me micromanaging his life that he pretended to have a boyfriend just to shut me up.’”
Now that Matt says it, it does sound kind of ridiculous. Foggy dropped his hands back to his side and leaned forward until his forehead was resting against Matt’s chest. “How do I always get into these situations? I’m a good person! I say my prayers sometimes! I’ve never murdered anyone!”
Foggy can actually feel Matt laughing. “That’s kind of a low bar.”
“It is! And yet so many people consistently fail to clear it!” He was smiling, though. Matt always made his problems a lot more manageable. “Look, we still have two days of holiday before we can leave this hellscape. Mum makes great leftover sandwiches on Black Friday.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” said Matt. “For now, can we sit down? I’m kind of stuffed and nauseous.”
“Oh, of course,” said Foggy. His mom had made up a camp bed for Matt which he carefully stepped around to get them to his own, much messier bed. Clearly his mom had given up on making it for him after the last time he accidentally spilt beer all over the sheets.
Matt bounced a few times, smiling widely. “Springy.”
“Yeah, it’s a good bed.”
They sat in a silence for a moment.
“Oh god,” said Foggy, putting his head right back in his hands. “We have to pretend to date for two more days.”
Matt put a reassuring hand on Foggy’s head. Foggy thought he might have meant to get his shoulder but he wasn’t complaining. “We’ll be sleeping for a lot of it?” Matt said hopefully.
“Mom always wakes me up before midday,” Foggy replied miserably. “She says I’m wasting daylight.”
“Even on Thanksgiving? Rough.” Matt had started stroking Foggy’s hair.
“Yeah, you’d think she’d let me be a lazy asshole at least once a year, but nooooooo.” He sighed. “Look, since we’re doing this - we have got to get our story straight.”
“True. You seemed very shocked when your mom asked you about it.”
“How am I supposed to make something like that up on the fly! She probably expected something with kissing in the rain and tearful confessions of love.” Foggy rubbed his forehead, trying to ward off the stress headache he could feel brewing.
“Well, how about we just don’t tell her.”
“Mom is like a bloodhound Matt! When she wants to know something she fucking goes for it.”
“Alright, how do you think we got together, then.” Matt raised his eyebrows.
“I don’t know, maybe there was kissing in the rain! Maybe my hair got all frizzy and awful in the rain and I invited you in because I needed to brush it! Who knows, man!” He said in a strained whisper. He really wanted to shout a little to work out some frustration but he didn’t actually like shouting at people.
“Mr Nelson, you should know I don’t put out on the first date.”
Foggy laughed. “Alright, whatever, that’s practically a story. Have we been pining over each other since day one, oh dearest in my heart?”
“Even before that I knew something was missing in my life, you being half of my soul and all.” Matt smiled, more softly than before. Foggy leaned back before he could do something stupid, like actually kiss his fake boyfriend.
There were some lines you didn't cross.
2.
Matt paused outside the door to the office.
“Wait, wait, wait,” said Karen, breathless from laughing. “You pretended to date? For a whole weekend?”
“To be fair, we kind of escaped early on sunday morning.”
“What happened the next time your mom asked about Matt? I mean, how tragic was that pretend breakup?”
Matt leaned in from where he’d been stood silently in the doorway. “I think it involved plate smashing and lots of crying, right, Foggy?”
They both jumped. “Oh, hi, Matt, I was just telling Karen about Thanksgiving in Freshman year,” Foggy said quickly.
“Good times,” said Matt with a grin. “I thought your mom was going to explode when she found out we ended it.”
“She was pretty mad at me. Apparently I need to stop letting good things slip through my fingers.” Foggy was leaning against his desk, arms folded. “The braille condolence card she sent you was very thoughtful, though.”
“I think I still have it somewhere,” Matt agreed. “You said it had a teddy bear on the front?”
“Oh yeah. It was a masterpiece of sentimentality.”
Karen giggled. “What did the card say, though? What if it was all an elaborate ruse to yell at Matt for breaking her son’s heart?”
“Oh, Miss Page, how dare you imply that of the two of us Matt is the rakish and disloyal blackguard. I mean, have you seen me?” Foggy reached across to push Karen, which devolved quickly into a slap fight in the middle of the office.
Matt sighed. “Don’t we have work to do?”
“Not unless you’re hiding a client under your jacket, counselor.” Foggy dragged a chair across to where Matt was standing. The legs scraped along the floor with a noise even someone without enhanced hearing would call painful. “Pull up a chair, man, we’re having a gossip fest. Karen has so many stories you would not believe.”
Matt sat down.
--
Matt heard Karen’s heartbeat ratchet up from across the bar.
The whole firm (all three of them) were on a night out. Foggy had disappeared to the bathroom twenty minutes before and hadn’t reappeared, probably to throw up another eel. Matt got the impression there was a story to the first eel but he’d never got around to asking.
He got up, feeling around for his cane. It was difficult enough to focus during a clear day outside, so even his advanced senses had a workout in a crowded downstairs bar. Finally grabbing it from where it had slid all the way onto the floor, he made his way through the crowd, following Karen’s heartbeat.
She was sat at one of the small tables around the edge of the bar, and someone was sat across from her. Matt leaned against the wall for a moment to get a better read on whoever it was. They were talking, but not quite loudly enough that Matt could easily hear them over the ambient noise of the bar.
He caught a fragment of whatever the stranger was saying and threw caution to the wind. He made his way over, maybe a little too quickly, and leaned over the back of Karen’s chair.
“Karen!” He said, grinning widely. “I’ve been trying to find you for ages!” He dragged out his words, tried to round off the vowels. Hopefully whoever was harassing Karen wouldn’t be willing to assault the drunk blind guy in front of half of Hell’s Kitchen.
“Oh, hi, Matt,” said Karen. Her voice was shaking. “It is pretty busy in here, huh?”
He leaned further down, resting his cheek on her hair. She smelled like gingerbread.
The stranger chose that moment to speak up. “Hey, uh, who the hell are you?”
“Matt,” said Matt. “I’m Karen’s-”
“Boyfriend!” said Karen. She grabbed his hand, holding on so tight it was almost painful.
Matt nodded easily. “Boyfriend, yeah,” he said, smiling again. “Who are you?”
The stranger coughed. “Oh, uh, nobody. I was actually just leaving.” Matt listened to him go, then moved to sit in the just vacated seat. He didn’t let go of Karen’s hand.
“Are you alright?” He asked quietly.
Karen was silent for a few moments. Matt listened to her heartbeat slowing down. “Oh! Sorry, I, uh, I nodded. Thank you for coming over.” It was still running a little fast.
“No problem. I was just wondering where you were, is all. Foggy’s throwing up in the bathroom and it’s pretty lonely sat at the bar drinking shitty beer.”
“Usually I can deal with assholes in bars but today just - I’m a little tense, I guess.” She sighed.
Matt squeezed her hand gently. “Hey, I know you can take care of yourself. It’s just that you don’t have to all the time.”
She laughed quietly. “Yeah, alright. You’re such a white knight, always swooping in to save people.”
“It’s a character flaw.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
“Do you want to leave?” Matt asked quietly.
“Oh my god, yes,” said Karen. She stood up, pulling Matt with her. “Let’s go find Foggy and clear out.”
He put an arm around her waist - just in case anyone was still paying attention.
3.
“We are not private detectives, Karen, no matter how shitty our office may be.”
Karen pouted. “Hey, all I’m saying is if we actually saw these apartments that are being built we might have a better idea of how many corners are getting cut in construction.”
The case was supposed to be straightforward. Their client was a whistleblower for a construction company who was being framed for embezzlement.
Unfortunately, the construction company wasn’t willing to talk to the client’s counsel and every attempt to visit the apartment buildings was cut off by overzealous lobby staff.
“Well, yeah, that would be great, but I’m not really into the whole breaking and entering thing. Kind of chafes, being a lawyer and all.”
“It’s not like that stops Matt,” said Karen. “But anyway, that wasn’t what I meant. Why don’t we just go for an apartment viewing and snoop around?”
Foggy paused. Karen could see him thinking it over and realising what a great idea it was. Score one for her. “That is… not actually a bad idea, damn it Page.”
Karen turned her laptop screen so that he could see the realtor site she’d pulled up. “It’s so easy. And sneaky. Matt would totally approve.”
“The worst part is that you’re right, he absolutely would.” Foggy sighed. “Alright. So we pretend we want to rent a super expensive apartment, and then what? Why are we renting this apartment, Karen! Backstory is vital to conning people!”
“Well what do you think we should do, brainiac?”
“I don’t know! I only know the law and a semester’s worth of Punjabi, Karen, how am I supposed to know how to lie to people!”
“You’re a lawyer, Foggy.”
“That… is also a good point, I hate you and everything you stand for. Also the legal profession for being full of sleazebags.”
Karen grinned. “Okay, so, remember that story you told me about Thanksgiving of freshman year?”
Foggy froze. He looked kind of adorable with the deer-in-the-headlights expression. “Wait, uh, so, we would pretend. To be dating. In a fake way.” His voice wavered.
“It’s no big deal, Foggy, I pretended Matt was my boyfriend once.” And it had been really nice, she carefully did not say. So nice I maybe entertained a fantasy where it was totally not pretend.
“Oh my god, we are both so hopeless,” said Foggy. “When will he take notice of us poor mortals, suffering in silence.”
Karen patted him on the shoulder. “Could be years. In the meantime, let’s get going. We have an apartment to view.” She offered a hand and he took it with a weak smile.
--
The realtor lead them right past the slightly terrifying lobby staff into an elevator covered floor to ceiling in chrome.
It was giving Karen a headache.
“So, do you two know much about the building?”
Foggy looked to Karen for help.
“No, we’ve been trying to keep an open mind and come in without any, uh, preconceptions, right, honey?” Karen squeezed Foggy’s arm.
“Yeah, um, yes, I think it’s important to hear things straight from the horse’s mouth. As it were. Um.”
The realtor smiled sunnily. “Okay, wonderful.” She took out a flyer from god knows where and handed it to Karen. “It’s a conversion actually, of an old block, but it was nearly falling apart when the company acquired the place. We’ve really breathed new life into it, y’know?”
Karen took a moment to look through the flyer. It was glossy and a little terrifying.
The elevator doors opened and the realtor led them both to almost the end of the corridor.
“Here we are! One bedroom, one bathroom, living area, kitchen. Have a look around and if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask!”
Karen kept her hand on Foggy’s elbow as they walked into the very shiny apartment. “What are we looking for, exactly?” She asked, keeping her voice low.
Foggy pulled her over to the bedroom before answering. “The company skimped on reinforcement and insulation, right? And if we find asbestos or something that looks like it might have been in the same room as asbestos within the last century we are home free, my friend.”
Karen kept a lookout for the realtor while Foggy inspected the room. “I can’t see anything obvious. I wish Matt was here, he can probably smell asbestos from ten blocks away.”
“Hey, where is Matt, anyway?”
“I think Claire’s in town for the weekend.” Foggy shrugged, like that was answer enough. He’d come back over to stand next to Karen against the wall, facing the door.
Karen had only met Claire twice, and the first time had been at the hospital after Fisk blew up half of Hell’s Kitchen. “Oh, are they still… uh, doing whatever?”
“I don’t… think so? Who knows, honestly. I think they broke things off before Claire left the city.”
“I’m gonna call him,” Karen said. “If he’s within ten blocks we might as well ask, right?”
While she waited for Matt to pick up, the realtor reappeared in the doorway. “Everything alright?” She asked, still smiling.
“Oh, it’s lovely, thank you. Right, Foggy?” Karen nudge him with her elbow.
“Yes! Yes, it’s lovely. I like the… windows?” Foggy was adorable when he was flustered. Karen couldn’t hold back a smile, which earned her a whispered ‘traitor!’.
The realtor disappeared again just in time for Matt to finally pick up his phone. “Karen?”
“Hi, Matt! Where are you right now?”
“Uh, at my apartment? Where I live?”
Karen pulled up her mental map of Hell’s Kitchen. “Are you grievously injured, because I need a favour.”
“No, I’m fine. Just… overslept a little. What’s the favour?”
“We’re doing some investigating for that construction case, in the apartments on the corner of 54th and 10th.” She paused, trying to figure out a way to ask that wasn’t desperately creepy. “Can you smell asbestos from three blocks away?”
There was a pause. “I’ll… try?”
“Thanks Matt, you’re the best, bye!” Karen hung up and turned to Foggy. “He’s going to try.”
“Let’s hope he calls you back, I don’t know what I’ll do if we have to stay here much longer. All the shiny surfaces in this place are giving me a headache.”
“Me too,” said Karen. “It’s kind of awful isn’t it.”
“Oh, it’s terrible. Can you imagine having this much money and spending all of it on an apartment with slippery floors and strip lighting?”
“I can’t even imagine having this much money, Foggy, our office has wiring hanging from the ceiling.”
They looked at each other and burst into laughter. “Oh my god, our office probably has asbestos too, do you think Matt smelled it and couldn’t tell us because of his secret identity bullshit?”
“If he did I’m going to make all his coffee decaf for a month.”
They stopped giggling long enough to say goodbye to the realtor and travel back down in the scary elevator of the future. Karen’s phone rang just as they left the building.
“Oh, hey Matt,” she said, keeping one hand firmly on Foggy’s elbow. “So is there any asbestos in the building?”
“Do you really want to know that when you’ve been inside the building for nearly half an hour?”
Before Karen could come up with an answer, they turned the corner and found Matt leaning against the outer wall of the building. Karen hung up.
“No, I don’t, but our client probably will.”
Matt turned his head in their direction and smiled.
“Oh, hello there.” He pushed away from the wall and took Foggy’s other elbow. “Yes, there’s asbestos. Not as much as there probably was before the renovation but enough to cause the company some serious trouble.”
“How did you get into the building anyway? You keep complaining about the lobby staff.”
“That’s classified,” said Karen. She winked at Foggy. “Need to know basis only, Mr Murdock.”
“And let me guess, I don’t need to know?”
“You’re a quick study, my friend. Imagine me giving you a thumbs up right now, that’s how quick of a study you are.” Karen grinned. Foggy looked deeply embarrassed.
“So!” Foggy began. “In a desperate attempt to change the subject, isn’t Claire in town this weekend?”
“She is,” said Matt. “We’re having coffee tomorrow, but she’s spending the rest of the weekend with friends.”
“Fair enough. I mean, you mostly see her when you’re bleeding, I bet it’ll be super weird just having a cup of coffee with her.” Foggy winced as soon as he said it.
Matt snorted. “Yeah, not the best basis for a relationship.”
“Say hi to her from me,” Karen said after a moment. “And ask if I can have her number. I mean, no offence but my entire social circle right now is you two.”
“Will do.”
They walked the rest of the way back to the office in a comfortable silence.
4.
Claire worked the night shift at Mercy General three times a week.
Usually this was fine because she wasn’t in the ER, so she could spend a lot of the night at the nurse’s station doing paperwork and occasionally texting insomniac friends.
On this particular night, however, she was on rotation in the ER, and Matt fucking Murdock had chosen that night to finally go to the goddamn hospital.
The sun was barely ducking under the horizon when her phone buzzed. She checked it, hoping it might be Jen, who she was sort-of-dating, or possibly Santino bitching about homework. It turned out to be neither.
don’t freak out but
matt got hurt and he agreed 2 the hospital
u sure hes not been replaced w pod person?
p sure. see you asap
Claire sighed. Usually when Karen texted her they managed to avoid talking about Matt.
She wondered how Karen had got him to agree to the hospital. Probably a joint effort with Foggy, who could worry enough for the whole country. Of course, even when Matt could admit he needed serious medical attention he still wouldn’t let them call an ambulance.
Foggy and Karen each had an arm and were guiding Matt towards a hard plastic chair. Claire made her way over after making sure the ten year old that had arrived just before really did only have a bad sprain.
Karen ran a shaking hand through her hair. “Would you believe he made us take a cab?”
Claire closed her eyes for a moment. Of course he fucking did. “Yes, I can believe that.” They shared a look of deep understanding.
“Ok, so, what happened?” Claire ran an assessing eye over Matt. His glasses were missing and he had a few cuts and bruises; he didn’t seem as badly beaten up as he had been any of the times he’d ended up on Claire’s couch at 3am.
“Well, for starters, he wasn’t even - you know - when this happened,” said Foggy, angrily. “He got hit by a car.”
“Only a little bit,” Matt said very quietly. Karen and Foggy both glared at him.
Claire hadn’t prayed since she was in grade school but she seriously considered it for a second. Please, God, take Matt Murdock and his self destructive bullshit out of my life. “Well, clearly, since you walked in the door. Look, I’ll register you but it might be a while before anyone can see you, it’s a busy night.”
Matt nodded and she left the three of them to bicker over Matt’s complete lack of regard for his own safety. At least Claire hoped that’s what they were whispering about.
It was nearly half an hour before a doctor was free to see Matt. Claire volunteered to be the attending nurse, because explaining the multiple healing cuts all over Matt’s chest was at least one thing she had practice in.
“One other person only,” said the doctor.
Claire opened her mouth before her brain could stop her. “They should probably all stay informed, Dr Corbeau.” She raised her eyebrows meaningfully. If Karen wanted to yell at her later for implying she was in a three way with her best friends, so be it.
It took a moment, but she thought she saw the doctor’s expression shift the tiniest bit.
“Alright, you can both come in.” She waved them through into the examination room. Turning back, she caught Claire’s eye. “Don’t tell the board, Nurse Temple.”
“Of course not.” Claire smiled. She closed the door quietly behind her and went to put on clean gloves.
The doctor’s assessment was that Matt had got off very lightly. “No broken bones. You do have a concussion, so you’ll need to be kept under observation by these two, and I’d advise staying off your feet for a day or two.” She looked between the three of them. “Will you be filing a police report?”
“I’m not sure what good it would do,” Matt replied, slowly. “I don’t think Karen or Foggy got the license plate.”
“Any details they may have are always worth reporting.”
“Yeah, alright,” said Karen. “Might as well.”
Claire left them to it while she went to write out a prescription for painkillers for Matt. It would be a miracle if any of them managed to persuade Matt to take them, but a girl could dream.
“So, Mr Murdock, where were you when the accident occurred?” Dr Corbeau had her clipboard out and was filling out a report.
“I’m… not sure?” He gestured vaguely at his eyes. Dr Corbeau nodded understandingly and made another note.
“We were crossing 10th Avenue,” said Karen. “I think we’d just passed 50th but I wasn’t really paying attention.” She looked at Foggy. He looked a little pale to Claire, but not so much that he might pass out, which was all she could hope for.
“Yeah, 10th Avenue,” he agreed. “We went past that pizza place with the awful pesto, right?”
“That pesto really is awful,” said Matt. “We should send in a complaint.”
The doctor shook her head. “So you were crossing the road, and, what? Someone ran a red light?”
Karen nodded. “Yeah, Matt was just ahead of us when the car -” She stopped, raised a hand to cover her mouth. “Sorry.”
The doctor smiled faintly. “It’s all right, miss.”
“He got clipped by the car and hit his head on the road,” Foggy said in a rush. “We got him to the sidewalk. Unfortunately he’s an idiot and doesn’t like to admit he needs medical attention unless a limb has actually fallen off.” His hand twitched. Claire sighed. All these lovesick morons were going to give her an even worse headache.
The report was finished in another ten minutes. Claire held the door open for them and followed them out into the waiting room. “You gonna be alright getting home?”
“Yeah, we’ll be fine,” Karen replied. “I’ll call a cab and then me and Foggy can tie him to the bed or something.”
Claire raised her eyebrows. Karen blushed. “Not like that, which, by the way, why did you tell the doctor that? It’s not like we both needed to be in there with Matt.”
“Look, Karen,” Claire started, choosing her words carefully. “It may not be my place to say this, which has never fucking stopped me before, but I think you three need to have a talk.”
Karen glanced over to where Foggy and Matt were sat together and smiled. “You’re probably right.”
Before she knew what was happening, Claire found herself with an armful of Karen. She hugged back for a second, even though the way Karen hugged meant she’d ended up with a mouthful of hair.
“Good luck,” Claire said quietly. “God knows Matt Murdock can angst himself out of nearly any romantic situation.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t work out.”
“I am really not the kind of girl that dates her patients. No matter how hot they may be.” Claire pulled back and nodded.
Karen smiled. “I should really call that cab. Thank you, for everything.”
“I’d say ‘any time’ but - you caught me on a good night.”
“Still. Thank you.”
Claire watched as she called the cab and went to help Foggy walk Matt out of the hospital. Her phone buzzed.
coffee tomorrow?
sounds good
+1.
“We need to talk.” Karen fixed Foggy with a steely glare.
Foggy put a hand to his chest, like an Austen heroine. “Matt, she’s glaring at me!”
“I’m glaring at him as well, Foggy, I’m just relying on you to relay the message.”
Matt laughed. He was lying on the bed, where he’d been for nearly two days while Foggy and Karen made sure he kept to doctor’s orders. “What do we need to talk about, Karen?”
“Lots of things! The office redecoration, your complete lack of self preservation, Foggy’s ties, the fact we all keep pretending to date-”
“We don’t keep pretending to date,” Foggy interrupted. “It was like one time!”
“Foggy, it’s been like four times. Claire got us both into Matt’s medical exam by implying we were in a three way.”
“What.” Foggy sounds like he’s about to implode. Matt laughs again.
Karen shrugged. “I just shrugged, Matt,” she said. “And I think we should talk about this! I mean, emotional honesty is not exactly our strong point as a group, but in this case it might actually be important.”
She looked significantly at Matt.
“She’s giving you a very significant look right now, buddy. Right up there with the one mom gave me just before I told her about my first boyfriend in, like, ninth grade.”
Despite Karen’s master plan, neither of the boys spoke after that.
“Honestly,” said Karen. “Alright, I’ll go first. Matt, you can hear our heartbeats. Are we attracted to you?”
Matt paused. “Yes?” Foggy gave him a look of exquisite betrayal.
“Alright, great. Foggy, I know this may be a surprise but I also like you, is that feeling reciprocated or is this just going to be awkward as hell?”
“It’s still awkward as hell, Karen.” Foggy glared at her, but he was blushing, which Karen took as a good sign. “Yes, fine, the answer is yes.”
Karen clapped her hands together. “Awesome. Let’s go on a date.”
Matt coughed. “I’m still on bedrest, right?”
“Good point! Good point, Matt, let’s leave this for a time when I don’t want to bury myself underground or possibly emigrate to the moon!”
Foggy was working himself into a state. Karen sighed, rolled her eyes, and kissed him. It was nice.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
She sat down on the edge of Matt’s bed and tugged Foggy down to sit next to her. “You can probably sit up for a bit, Matt.”
“If I do, do I get a kiss as well, or do I have to work for it?”
Karen grinned. “I don’t know, ask Foggy.”
Foggy’s face was a brilliant shade of red. Karen was almost tempted to take a picture and send it to Claire.
Matt raised his eyebrows. “Foggy?”
“Oh, fuck it.” Foggy helped pull Matt upright and then leaned in to kiss him. Karen shifted across the bed until she was on Matt’s opposite side.
“Aren’t you so glad I suggested we have this talk?”
Foggy glared at her again, but he so clearly wanted to smile that Karen beamed. “No need to be so smug about it.”
“I hear you say these words but they mean nothing, they really don’t.” Karen leaned over and kissed Matt herself.
“I was serious about that date, by the way. We could order pizza.”
“Just as long as it’s not from that place with the awful pesto. That restaurant is bad news, Karen.”
“Fine by me.”
When the pizza finally arrived, they’d stay up way too late narrating shitty SyFy Channel movies to Matt, get pizza sauce on the sheets and generally mess up Matt’s apartment.
But until then, they just sat in comfortable silence, holding hands. Everything else could wait.