Chapter Text
“Immigration law is not my field,” Gerri declared to Kendall as she sat before him in his office.
“Uh-huh, right, sure,” he tapped his foot against the leg of his chair. What a mess this was.
“OK, can we wrap this up?” Roman called from the couch, “I need to talk to Ken about funding for my screenplay about the adventures of Doge dog.”
“But you have a few options,” Gerri ignored Roman, who threw his head back against the couch and punched a pillow with his fist in a play for her attention. “You could go back to the UK for a period of six months and stay there--”
“Out of the question,” Kendall replied quickly, “there’s no way. I have the conference in Hong Kong and then I have Davos. I have to get to Davos.”
“Right—you can go to the UK and then be able to go to Davos,” Gerri sighed, “I mean, I’d usually say we could pull some strings with immigration, but given our relationship with the president now, I—”
“Sucks that you weren’t born on this side of the Atlantic,” Roman rose and stretched, “Shiv and me? So blessed to be born at Lenox Hill.”
“Or you could get married to an American citizen,” Gerri continued to plow through, even though she could feel Roman behind her now, “that would be the other option—the one where you could go to Hong Kong—and Davos.”
“He did,” Roman yawned now, “hey, Ken, maybe just call up Rava and get the divorce rescinded? I’m sure she’d be so into that—”
“Yeah, fuck off,” Kendall lobbed to his brother before he turned back to Gerri, “so…wait, if I marry someone—a citizen—I don’t have to leave to renew my visa—”
Gerri shrugged, noncommittal, “in theory you’d become a citizen yourself. Possibly—if you chose to do that. But I can’t actually advise that.”
“Why?”
“Because it would be fraud, Kendall.”
“OK, but, like—no, right?”
“Yeah, Ken, it would,” Roman held a hand to his chest and furrowed his brow in a grand show of concern, “you’re—you’re not seriously considering this—”
“OK, because if you are,” Gerri quickly gathered her folders, “I can’t be privy to this—just—just take the time in London, Kendall. It’ll go by quickly.”
“But I need to be able travel freely as a—”
“—as an integral member of the Waystar Royco Executive Team,” Roman rolled his eyes, stung at the idea that he’d been banished to L.A. “Yeah, we fucking get it, Ken.”
“Think about it--London,” Gerri finished, before disappearing out the door.
“I mean,” Roman mused as he watched her go, “you never became a citizen? Do you hate America, Ken? Or are you a ‘citizen of the world’ because you transcend manmade nations? Also—like, who could you convince to marry you? Like, what wayward nymph would ever agree—”
“Hey, Ken,” Jess poked her head into his office.
“Yeah—” Kendall said.
“Your meeting with the Hong Kong team is in five.”
“Thanks—yep—send me the link—”
Jess nodded curtly, gave a closed lip smile to Roman and scurried back to her desk.
Roman looked at Kendall. And then looked at him some more.
“Are—are you serious?” Kendall pretended to balk, pretended the thought had not immediately crossed his mind.
Roman raised an impish eyebrow.
“You’d pass the interview with flying colors.”
“The interview?”
“Yeah, you have to have an interview with immigration,” Roman explained, “to prove you’re not committing fraud against the greatest nation in the world, Kendall. Like, proof that you know each other… photo albums, a Hallmark story about how you met, what side of the bed each of you sleeps on—”
“—how…do you know all this?”
“Don’t worry about that,” Roman brushed Kendall off and began to head for the door, “but I’m telling you—Jess could be the key to all this.”
His brother left the office and Kendall contemplated his situation: to marry his executive assistant in order to gain U.S. citizenship. Fucking absurd.
After his meeting, Kendall called Jess into his office.
“Can you—get the door--?” Kendall rose, adjusted his tie and came around from the desk. He gestured to the couch.
“Have a seat,” he cleared his throat.
Jess sat down and Kendall took the chair across from her. He then popped up, in a last-minute change, and sat down next to her on the couch. She swallowed hard; what had she done? His demeanor had all the indicators of a boss about to sack someone. She raced through the choices she’d made, the actions she took, that day. Nothing at all seemed out of line. She bit her lip, astonished that she might tear up.
“So—I—” Kendall started, but couldn’t find the right phrasing, “um—”
“Was it the Hong Kong release?”
“…What?”
“Or—the um, reservation for—”
“What? No—”
“I’m—so sorry—”
“Wait, no,” Kendall huffed, “no, you—you didn’t do anything—um—I need to ask you something…”
Jess took a giant breath and composed herself. “Oh, right, of course.”
“Um—” Kendall tried to seem casual, “I—as you know—am not currently a U.S. citizen.”
She nodded.
“And, I—” he stopped, then started again, “I need to get to Davos—my dad is—he’s relying on me for—well, so, I need to be there.” He shook his head at his words.
She nodded again.
“…But my residential status is about to expire—I would need to go back to the UK for six months without traveling—and that can’t happen.”
She nodded. Again.
“So…I guess…what I’m asking…” Kendall bit the inside of his mouth, “is…um, well, for your discretion…because…”
Jess cocked her head in thought, “because you need to get married to a U.S. citizen.”
Kendall raised his eyebrows, “um, yes—correct.”
Jess waited for the punch, pursing her lips.
“So—you’re—you’re a citizen, right?”
“I am.”
“So—so I would compensate—I mean,” Kendall blinked, thinking paying her specifically to get married to him sounded even worse than no payment at all? “Would you—would you be open--?”
Working for Kendall Roy had come with its surprises—and pitfalls. Jess had heard wild stories of requests executives had made of their assistants through chatter across Stone Street bars. But this? This would be a story she’d never be able to tell.
It was unethical. Fraudulent and illegal at worst. Cringe-worthy at best. He couldn’t find someone…?
But the compensation, she knew, would be plum. And as she studied his face—pathetic, pleading—she found she could only have one answer.
“I would be open to that, yes,” Jess uttered in a small voice. Working for him at all had been her first mistake. She should’ve known something like this was bound to occur.
Kendall nodded swiftly, almost disbelieving. “Oh, great—great.”
“So what’s the timeline for this?”
“um—”
“I’ll research it,”
“Great, yes.”
“We’ll have to, um,” Jess was careful with her words, “create—some…evidence?”
“…yes.” How did she already know what to do? Kendall could only wonder.
“And plan a wedding?”
“Oh—oh,” Kendall stammered as the ludicrousness of the situation descended upon him, “yeah…and…um, a ring.”
“You—you don’t have to—”
Kendall shrugged, “I mean, if we’re doing this—and if we need markers of an engagement—you know—we need an engagement ring.”
Jess relented, “OK.”
She looked unsettled to Kendall.
“Hey—you don’t need to do this—”
“No, I’ll do it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“OK—well,” Kendall rose, “let’s head to Cartier.”
“Wait—now?”
He nodded, “call Fikret and we’ll go. They’ll make you something. Custom.”
Jess didn’t realize her mouth was ajar until Kendall moved to get his coat. Maybe this absurd arrangement would have some perks.
As they rode down in the elevator silently, Kendall felt bright. Brighter than he had felt in a while. He glanced over to Jess and watched as she researched K1 visas on her phone. Yes, this entire venture would be painful. And awkward. But to be able to shower her with gifts—jewelry, a grand celebration of a wedding—the idea was nice. Comforting, even. Kendall smiled.
He’d never said thank you to Jess for all of her toils—not quite outright. But perhaps, in this wild and stupid way, he could finally say it.