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Adam Carlsen checked his watch and breathed a sigh of relief. It was finally 9:50. He didn't want to leave too early for his (fake) date with Olive - over-eager wasn't a good look. But he also didn't want to be late, not even by a single second. Time with Olive was too precious to waste.
As he trekked across campus, Adam replayed the previous morning in his head. It wasn't the first time he'd done so, nor the second or even the third. It had barely been 24 hours, but the memory was already taking on the shiny quality of something well-loved.
He'd thought he was going to hyperventilate when Olive laced her fingers through his, and it had taken all of his self-control not to lean in and kiss the lingering traces of ice cream from the corners of her mouth. He'd missed a committee meeting while he'd sat with her, but he couldn't bring himself to care; he would choose Olive over nitpicking the department's instrument management policies any day.
Adam arrived at the student union with just over a minute to spare and stepped into the crowded Starbucks on the first floor. He spotted Olive almost right away. Her back was to him, and she was deep in conversation with her friend - Malcolm, he thought? The one Holden always flirted with, anyway.
Malcolm happened to look up at that moment. His eyes widened as he caught sight of Adam, and whatever he said next, it was delivered with a surprising urgency.
Adam furrowed his brow. Was something wrong? Well, only one way to find out. He shouldered his way through the crowd toward their table, grunting apologies at the students he bumped into on the way.
He still a table or two away when he picked up Olive's voice over the background noise of the coffee shop.
"How would that conversation even work?" she said. "How would I phrase it? What are the right words?"
Malcolm gave her a panicked look and shook his head. "Actually you should probably — "
But Olive cut him off, forging ahead. "Do I tell Adam that I'm into him? That I think about him all the time? That I have a huge crush on him? That —"
Adam's felt his brain skitter to a halt, and it was as if the room had gone silent around him.
Olive. Had a huge crush on him? Olive, the woman he'd been obsessing over for three years? If she… had a thing for him, and he had a thing for her… did it mean that it didn't need to be fake? That… she might not be repulsed if he kissed her, really kissed her? That it was possible that there was actually a happy ending in reach, rather than the heartbreak he'd assumed would inevitably follow when their arrangement ended and Olive moved on?
In a daze, Adam barely processed what happened next. Olive's phone vibrated with an incoming text. She looked down, then whirled around, and all of the color drained from her face as she spotted him standing less than two feet behind her chair. And with a stammered "I've… got to go," she picked up her bag and ran.
The hum of conversation slowly filtered back into Adam's consciousness. He wasn't sure how long he'd stood there, frozen, but it must have been longer than he thought, because when he turned to look for Olive, she was nowhere in sight.
Adam risked a glance back at Malcolm, who was glaring daggers at him.
"I…" he started, then stopped. Shit. He had no idea what to say.
Some of his distress must have shown on his face, because Malcolm's glare softened, just a tiny bit, before he spoke.
"Look, Carlsen, I have no idea how you really feel about Olive. This whole fake-dating thing has been a terrible idea from the start. But you've been choosing to spend enough time with her that I have a hard time believing you hate her, so please, whatever you do next, be kind. Olive's been through enough shit in her life already, and doesn't need any more from you."
"I don't. Hate her, that is. Not in the slightest." Adam took a fortifying breath. "I think… she and I need to talk. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?"
Malcolm shook his head. "Probably not home. She might be upset, but she won't abandon the experiments she has running today. Maybe the sculpture garden by the museum, or the arboretum? She sometimes heads there when she needs a quiet spot to think."
"Okay. Thanks." Adam turned to go, then hesitated for a moment and looked back at Olive's friend. "I know you don't like me much," he said, his tone serious, "but I hope you know that I want to see Olive happy just as much as you do. I'm sorry I've given her cause for distress, and I promise I'm going to do what I can to make it right."
Malcolm gave him a curt nod, and Adam set off, just barely missing the grudging "good luck" Malcolm muttered in his wake.
***
Malcolm felt a shadow fall across his table as someone stopped on the other side. He looked up to find Holden Rodrigues eyeing him with an expression that fell somewhere between bemused and concerned.
"I feel like I just missed some drama," Holden said. "What was that all about?"
Malcolm groaned and rubbed at his eyes with the heel his hand.
"Nothing. My best friend just went off about how much she's in love with Adam Carlsen and he overheard. So she's terrified he's going to hate her and ran off to hide, and now he's confused, and I don't understand why they can't just talk about their feelings like grownups!"
The last came out with an unexpected vehemence.
"Sorry," Malcolm said. "I just want the best for her, but she's driving me a little bonkers, you know?"
Holden rolled his eyes. "No, I get it. Tell me about it. But why's she embarrassed to tell Adam she has a thing for him? They're dating - shouldn't that be a given?"
Malcolm realized his mistake a moment too late.
"Oh no, it's just… I think she's worried about coming on too strong. They've only been together for a couple of weeks, and I think she's worried she'll scare him off by getting too intense too quickly or something."
To Malcolm's surprise, Holden threw back his head and laughed. "Well, in that case, they'll be fine as soon as they talk it out. Adam's been in love with her for a solid three years - he's been terrified of scaring her off!"
Malcolm gaped at him. "Carlsen… has been in love with Olive… for three years?"
"Yep. He's had a thing for her ever since they met during her interview visit. Not that you heard it from me, though."
"I… wow." Malcolm was at a loss for words as he processed this new development. "I don't know what to say."
Holden grinned, and gestured to the empty chair in front of him. "How 'bout inviting me to sit and join you for coffee so that we can commiserate about our stubborn, oblivious friends?"
Malcolm felt a flush of warmth at the prospect of a coffee date with the gorgeous man across from him (even if Holden might not know it was a date, yet) and gave him his best inviting smile.
"Sure," he said. "Grab a seat."
***
Adam finally found Olive on a bench in the arboretum, just outside the cactus garden. He sat down at the other end, leaving a foot or two of space between them - he wanted to talk, but didn't want to crowd her.
Olive glanced briefly over at him, and he could see that she had been crying.
"You don't have to let me down easy, Adam," she said. His heart ached at the dejection in her voice. "Having a grad fall for you wasn't part of our deal, and I know it's awkward. I promise I'll leave you alone. I just… I really like you, and I'm going to be sad to lose your friendship, even if I know you'd never be interested in anything more."
He wanted to hug her. He wanted to tell her that she didn't need to cry because of him, because she thought he wasn't interested in her, because she thought she had driven him away - whatever she was thinking, it couldn't be further from the truth. But the way she was curled in on herself spoke volumes, and Adam knew he needed to be careful navigating her defenses.
He decided to try a different tack.
"Can I tell you something?" he asked.
Olive shrugged, picking at a loose thread at the knee of her jeans, and Adam took a deep breath.
"Three years ago," he said, forging ahead, "I met this girl. She was here for a grad school visit, and she was amazing. Earnest and passionate and really wanted to make a difference, and I couldn't get her out of my head.
"The next year, she started in the PhD program, and I thought the shine would wear off, but it didn't. She really was incredible. Outstanding scientist, loyal friend, great sense of humor… the more I saw of her, the more I fell for her. And I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to be a creep, but God, it took every ounce of self-control I had."
Adam watched Olive carefully as he spoke. She still wasn't looking at him, but her head was tilted a little in his direction, and her hand had gone still in her lap. Good, he thought, she was listening. That was something, at least.
"And then this one day," he continued, "I bumped into her in a hallway late at night, and she kissed me. Totally out of the blue. At first, I thought I was dreaming, but she was actually there, solid and real, and it felt so right. So right, in fact, that I couldn't imagine letting go. And in one of the most impulsive decisions I've ever made, I offered to pretend to date her just so I'd have an excuse to keep spending time with her.
"And it's been amazing. It really, truly has. But the thing is, I've found myself wishing almost every day that I'd had the courage to ask her out for real. Because she's just as amazing as I thought, and I really, really want her to be a part of my life."
Olive was looking at him now, looking suspiciously like she was on the verge of tears again. He couldn't tell whether she was happy or angry or upset, and uncertainty gnawed at him, deep in his gut.
She was quiet for a moment, biting her lip before she spoke. "I remember, you know."
Adam raised an eyebrow at the non sequitur. "Remember what?"
"Our conversation in your lab's bathroom. When I visited. You were the one who convinced me I could actually do a PhD."
"I did?"
"Mmhmm. I was on the fence, but you convinced me my reason was worth it. I mean, I didn't know it was you at the time - I only just figured that out this week. But I've thought about The Guy in the bathroom a lot. I don't think I'd be here if I hadn't bumped into him - you - and had that talk."
Olive reached out and brushed her fingers tentatively along the back of Adam's hand, sending an electric thrill up his nerves. He flipped his palm over, capturing her smaller hand in his. "I'm glad it helped."
"Me too." She was quiet for a moment, before glancing up at him with a cautious, hopeful look.
"So…" she ventured, "what would you do if you found out that that girl had started to feel the same about you?"
Her thumb moved across his palm in a gentle caress as she spoke. Every cell in his body zeroed in on the sensation of Olive's touch, and he suddenly found it difficult to breathe.
"I'd ask her if I could take her on a real date after I get back from Boston next week," he said, voice hoarse. "And then I'd ask her if I could kiss her."
Olive held his gaze for a moment, searching. And then, seeming to find what she was looking for, her face blossomed into the most brilliant smile he'd ever seen.
"Yes," she replied, "she'd love to go on a real date with you." And then she leaned in, slowly, maddeningly, until her lips were right next to his ear, her next phrase whispered for him and him alone: "And yes, she absolutely wants you to kiss her."
Adam turned his head and paused for a moment, holding her gaze in silent reverence. He felt Olive's breath ghost across his lips. This. This was it. This moment: he wanted to freeze it and remember it and never let go.
And then he closed the rest of the scant distance between them and met her lips with his.
It wasn't the first time they'd kissed, but this kiss felt different. It wasn't for show - it had no audience to convince, no friends, no department chair. It was just for them, Adam and Olive. It started soft and unhurried, then morphed into something more, hungry with the promise of many more kisses to come. And when they both pulled away to catch their breaths and Adam realized that he had pulled Olive into his lap, he couldn't imagine anywhere he'd rather be.
When he met Olive's eyes, she was grinning.
"Can we keep our Wednesday coffee date?" she asked.
Adam felt the corner of his eyes crinkle as an answering smile broke out on his face. "Of course. It's the highlight of my week."
"Great. Though we might need to re-name it. Fake-dating Wednesday doesn't really seem appropriate if we're going to try actually dating now, though I admit that real-dating Wednesday doesn't have quite the same ring."
Adam stifled a laugh. "Does it really need a name?"
"No, but I like it. How about the-date-formerly-known-as-fake-dating-Wednesday?"
This time, Adam didn't even bother trying to hide his snort of amusement. "Whatever you want to call it is fine with me. As long as you're there, and I'm there, and we get to take a morning break together, I'll be happy."
"All right." Olive considered for a moment, then gave him a mischievous look. "And can I call you my real boyfriend instead of my fake boyfriend now?"
Adam rolled his eyes. "Just boyfriend would do, smart-ass, but yes," he replied, and drew her into a second, enthusiastic kiss.