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Today is a good day, unbelievably good.
Toge started working at his grandma’s newly opened coffee shop, it was close to the university but if you walked towards there you would probably never find it since it’s just on the corner of a street. All colored in light purple and white with the image of a mug with hot chocolate and marshmallows.
The place itself is adorable, with large couches, fluffy cushions, white table and chairs giving the antique vibe yet modern, something that most of the coffee shops don't have.
You went there once but at that time there was only an old woman, there weren't many people either. You found the perfect spot to study and read a book in silence, probably due to the thick wall dividing the inside from the backyard or just the same type of wall surrounding all the establishment. Honestly it turned out to be your favorite place, the food is so good that you can’t just stop going there.
The second you get in the coffee shop a platinum blonde haired guy stands behind the cashier, he’s tall and has violet eyes which reminds you of that old woman who was working at the first time you came. You wonder if you had seen him before, he looks so familiar that you can’t think from where you saw, was it in the neighborhood? College perhaps? You don’t think of much as you wait for your time to order when there is a small line. You look for the things that you wanted and once you were done the guy behind the cashier was staring at you but quickly looked the other way thinking he wasn’t caught.
You walk to order and your eyes fall on the badge of his violet polo t-shirt “I don’t think I ever saw you here before, just the owner of the cafe” you smile and he blushes the same color as his shirt, he does a sign language but you couldn’t understand, you can see he’s shaking a bit when he reaches for a pen and a paper to scribble.
“ I started working in the front today, I usually work in the kitchen. ” You nod and proceed to order a pie and a latte, both given on violet tableware. You hear a shuffle sound and behind the white haired guy the owner of the shop appeared.
“Hello— Oh! (Y/n)-chan! It’s good to see you again, I guess my shop left a good impression?”
You laugh at her joke, you had already said you would come back “Of course it did.”
“I don’t think I introduced you both, silly of me… Toge, this is (Y/n)-chan. She studies in the same college as you, I don’t know if you ever saw her…” Of course he did, because at the end of his lessons he’d help her with work while he talked about you. “(Y/n)-chan this is my grandson, Toge. I hope you both get along.” The granny with a mischievous grin had planned to work as a matchmaker for her grandson since she saw you for the first time.
“I think we’ll get along pretty well” you smile at the short woman, “I’ll find a seat, excuse me.” Once you found your spot, you see the granny taking out a piece of the strawberry shortcake while Toge would make the latte. As you get busy with your schoolwork you wait for your order, opening your laptop and connecting with your tablet you start to write the most important things and mark on your book, you aren't getting the subject but still keep reading over and over again.
You can’t call your friend, she said she’d go on a date, you groan the thought of it right before you hear footsteps coming closer. Once you look up and stare at the violet ones, you feel so immersed in them like a garden full of violets. You flinch a little due to the sudden Toge’s closeness. You watch him put your order behind your computer and take a notepad to write something “ Did I scare you? Sorry :( ”
“NO! Oops... No, you didn’t. Don’t worry.”
“ Do you need help with something? ”
“No no. It’s a new subject and it’s making me confused, but I’m ok.” Toge looks with a worried expression and sits next to you without thinking. Taking your book to read the sentences you marked, he bows apologizing for the sudden action. Toge takes a piece of paper from the notes he uses to take orders and attempts to explain the subject in the best way possible. You don’t know sign language and the thought makes you frown, not because the blonde haired boy, but from yourself. Even if the thought of seeing him from somewhere still clouded your mind, you blurt a question: “Do you take classes with me? As if a deer was caught in the headlights, Toge stops what he’s doing and he nods hesitanting. Words don't come out, you don’t know whether you stay quiet or say something, but keeping the silence between you both is almost eating you alive. So you blurt out again “Sorry, I’ve never seen you, you’re so—” and regret ever saying something. You quickly apologize for almost hurting Toge. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry, please. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! I’m such an idiot. I'm really sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
You feel hot tears wanting to form in the corner of your eyes, you bowed your head so much that Toge had to place his hand on the table where your head almost hit. He quickly writes on the paper “ It’s ok, I know you meant no harm. I’m not the loudest person. ”
You look at him and to the paper, back and forth, was it supposed to be funny? “Toge, did you just make a joke?”
“ Yes. I’m sorry if it wasn’t funny. ” You snicker at what you read, Toge is adorable you think. As you place your hand on the table to drink the latte, your hand brushes on his pale skin, it’s soft, you wonder if he uses hand lotion because the faint smell of peaches is filling your nostrils or maybe it’s just the smell of the pie tricking you.
Toge blushes and hard. Again he shakily writes down but it’s not anything out of the ordinary when he decides to ignore what he’s feeling because he neither wants to scare you nor does he think he has a chance with you. Him. A guy who doesn’t speak. A mute guy. A weird one, a freak, in his opinion.
Your heart was probably racing 120 kilometers per hour, warmth fills your body and butterflies start to grow, you feel you are going to combust at any moment if you don’t scream at the top of your lungs.
So that paper had a brief explanation about the subject, although it took him some time to write, you think it could be easier if you were able to communicate with him.
______________________________
You found a video which teaches the basics of sign language and honestly you don’t know why you are even searching for it. Was it for yourself or for someone else? Toge perhaps?
For some reason you wanted to impress him, even though you didn’t need to, but the pull you felt when you were with him was unforgettable, the touch, the race of your heartbeat, the gentleness he showed when explaining the subject. Learning sign language was more for him than for you, but it doesn’t matter right now.
First video was to learn the basics, like ‘hello’ or ‘nice to meet you’. At the beginning it seemed easier but then it got more complicated. At the end of it the person in the video said they have a file in PDF to download to exercise.
The more you learned the more you wanted to impress Toge. It was hard to admit at first, but whenever you spoke with him in one of your classes, you would hand him a small notebook for him to scribble but you barely spoke anything since you were always looking at his mesmerizing eyes. You wish you knew how to say to him.
You practiced everyday moving your index finger to your eye, then closing your hand, you were probably doing wrong but who cares? It’s only for Toge to know. You were too shy to ask the teacher.
Days later you get in the coffee shop, order your usual and sit at the same spot. You can’t see as you shuffle through your bag to find a pencil for notes, but his grandma is hurrying him to give you the latte and the pie. You look up at him and he shyly shoots a smile, you on the other hand almost couldn’t say anything, once again you drown in his eyes and make you speechless but you could still say a ‘thank you’.
You snap from the trance and smile back, at the moment he bows down to give your order you look at him and speak in sign language “ Your eyes are beautiful. ” Toge freezes, face red and hand trembling, “I still don’t know much of sign language, I only learned a few things. I’m sorry, I learned for you.” You hear some sniffling and looking at Toge crying makes you concerned.
He wants to feel your touch so badly that he hugs you, thightly, Toge feels his heart tightening yet warm, the feeling for you was more than just a mere crush. Somehow the smell of coconut shampoo makes you feel relieved. In a shaky breath Toge whispers not even caring if his throat hurts “My heart aches. I love you.”