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"Mister Saegusa... can you please refocus? Would you mind recollecting the events of that night again?"
"Yes, of course. I'm just having some trouble remembering."
"Could you please recall some of your thoughts on the event, if that would be helpful?"
"I'll try. After all, I am quite concerned."
The floor of my office was cold. I was kneeling on the ground, and he was lying on the floor. The glass was shattered, but... I don't remember why.
I gripped your limp hands and felt hot tears in my eyes. Did I do this? Did I... did I kill him?
No.
No, the blood covering us wasn't his. It couldn't be.
I knew it was dead...yes. I knew. He was dead. It sickened me to realize it. But I felt it, and it crawled like a maggot.
The blood smelled terrible, and his body smelled even worse. The grime had dried and covered my hands, gotten under my fingernails, and smudged onto my glasses.
I couldn't speak, my throat was hurting. I tried to, though. I tried to call his name.
"Yuzuru!" I screamed. "Yuzuru, Yuzuru, please wake up!" I was sobbing. I didn't know why. "Yuzuru... I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'm so sorry, I swear... come back to me..."
I was shaking him, I tried to hit him. I couldn't do it, though.
[IBARA LAUGHS].
"I spent all my life hitting him in various ways. Isn't it funny that I couldn't do it then?"
"Please get back on topic, Mr. Saegusa. Can you recall the wound?"
[IBARA IS SILENT.]
"Mr. Saegusa?"
[IBARA LAUGHS].
"I'm sorry! I'm just recalling the details."
"...Alright."
There was a cut on his neck. That one was shallow…and it looked like it had been reopened.
I lied.
There was another wound.
On his chest.
It was deep, and all the blood was coming from there. I don’t know how he got it.
All I remember was sticking my fingers around the shallow gash and pressing in.
I pressed deeper. I kissed it. I tasted his blood and drank it.
“And the weapon who made those cuts?”
[IBARA IS SILENT].
“I don’t remember.”
I held the knife. It was cold on all edges and I felt disgust and fear all around me as I held it.
But it was me.
I did this.
I’m sorry, Yuzuru.
I’m sorry that I’m a liar.
But it doesn’t matter now.
It doesn’t matter who I lie to.
I don’t think they’d understand regardless.
I don’t know why.
That’s the truth.
But I [UNAVAILABLE.] him.
I [UNAVAILABLE.] him.
I [UNAVAILABLE.] him.
I [LOVE] him.
I [KILLED] him.