Archive of Our Own

Edward Teach couldn't remember the last time he was happy. The last time he was inspired, the last time he'd wanted, needed, the last time the day didn't feel like a monotonous, bleak repetition of the last. This wasn't life, this was purgatory.

Ed woke up like he had on many days, stark naked on a messy bed in his shabby flat, last night's wrinkled clothes strewn across the floor after drunkenly stumbling in at dawn. The sunlight was glaring through his broken blinds and hurting his eyes.

He didn't know what day of the week it was. His boys didn't care what day it was, they did their shady business and got blackout drunk whenever the fuck they wanted. Ed no longer wanted to do any of it, he just got dragged along.

With a sigh he eventually pulled himself out of bed to drink some water straight from the tap, relieve himself and put on the same leathers and shirt he'd worn the last few days. His phone dinged. He looked at it for the first time.

11:17am. Fuck. Six hours of sleep was better than nothing, but even better than that would be more sleep. The phone blinked with a text from Izzy.

We're outside.

Same old. Time to go do whatever bullshit Izzy thought the gang needed to do. Intimidate some people, threaten some others, get some cash by whatever means he could get away with.

It used to be his, Blackbeard's, gang. Sometime in the past years he stopped caring, while Izzy decidedly didn't. They were Blackbeard's gang in name only. Ed was the face of it, ready to taunt when it was needed for people to cough up information, money, whatever.

Whatever.

"Morning," Ivan greeted him. Izzy just leered at him before jumping into a speech to try to impress Ed with his plans. Something about a new cafe first. Ed was only half listening as they trotted off towards the town centre.

They took a shortcut through a back alley filled with foul-smelling dumpsters as Fang blathered about bike upgrades. "Wait til you guys see the new exhaust, it's a masterpiece," he bragged gleefully. "Sure mate," Ed groaned sarcastically, tired of the subject already.

A man was stood at the end of the alley, clutching his chest, frozen in place and blocking the path. His clothes seemed elaborate, expensive and colourful, even in the shadows of the passage.

"Oy, get out the fuckin' way you fuckin' ponce," Izzy growled at the man.

The man startled, taking a few panicked steps backwards out of the alley and into the sunlight. His blond hair shone brightly in the rays of light, the cerulean suit suddenly vibrant. Ed couldn't help but stare at him, like someone had locked his eyes onto this man and thrown away the key. He was vaguely aware that Izzy was speaking.

"What a fuckin' waste of space. If I never had to see another effeminate faggot playing dress up it'd be too fuckin' soon."

Ed wished those words would hurt, sting like Izzy's outbursts often used to, but they didn't. He didn't care. He kept looking fixedly at this flamboyant man's face, watched it crumple and dissolve into tears. A strange tug appeared in Ed's chest, so faint, so ignorable, yet he couldn't help stare at the wreckage.

"Pathetic," Izzy spat as they stalked past the man.

Ed's eyes lingered for another long moment before turning forward. A busy day of bullshit was ahead and he was already in a bad mood.

First on the list was a cafe. Ed sat down near the door as Izzy spoke to the owner. He could hear some threats, some back and forth, some whimpers. Izzy's voice was like venom. Ed was tired of it. He wished the venom would just kill them both instead of sitting through another day of this.

Preoccupied with everything and nothing, unable to pay attention to anything, Ed glanced out the window. The activity on the street was picking up with shoppers and workers making their way through town. A woman dropped her phone and accidentally headbutted the person trying to pick it up for her. Some faraway part of Ed thought it was funny, though his body didn't stir.

He watched two swanky, identical men exit the bank and walk by, chattering loudly about the good day they were having, and shouldn't they celebrate with a spot of lunch at that exclusive gourmet place? Ed stared daggers at them. They looked too rich for their own good.

Two kids shot by on roller skates, one older one doing a practised twirl. The younger tried to imitate and fell flat on its face and immediately started wailing at a decibel level Ed hadn't heard since he'd been at a metal gig. A parent rushed to the child and inspected its injured knee as the cries continued. Ed felt sick.

"Ed? Ed?!" Izzy's voice, increasingly insistent, got through to him. "We're leaving."

Ed wordlessly got up and slumped behind them. Stop crying. Stop crying, he thought as he glared at the child. The parent lovingly scooped them into a hug and Ed tore his eyes away. Sickening.

They wandered over to the park next. A seagull flew overhead, probably headed for the dump outside town. The gang once broke in there to trash some trash, fight another gang "to the death" (no-one died, the worst were a few broken ribs), surrounded by flocks of seagulls the whole time, like some kind of rowdy audience.

A group of alcoholics or bums huddled on a group of benches. At least I'm not like them, Ed thought, self-loathing thick in his throat. At least he wasn't like his good-for-nothing father. He eyed them with an anger that was directed at someone who wasn't even here anymore.

Izzy trotted on ahead, aiming for a different, more hidden, set of benches where some rotten looking guys sat. Ed remained off to the side again, disinterested, unwilling to be more than a threatening presence in whatever Izzy had going on.

Instead he watched a half-bald man with scraggly long hair walk by, a seagull on his arm. It sounded like he was speaking to the bird. A part of Ed wanted to follow him and see what the hell that was about, a bird guy? But he had to stay put so Izzy could finish his dealings.

If Ed had been distracted before, the rest of the day he was basically absent. The only moment he checked in was when he saw that man from earlier, the sad blond, trudge down the road with his eyes pathetically glued to the floor, bump into several people, apologising for it profusely each time, before disappearing into a bar.

Ed watched intently. The man was peculiar. Very very peculiar. It was a bar Ed and the boys had never been in. It wasn't his gang's kind of place, bit too clean, not broken enough. Once the man was out of sight Ed let out a heavy sigh.

The last place the gang ended up in was their usual haunt, Spanish Jackie's. It was a wreck of a bar, the kind no fancy men would dare enter unless they wanted to be torn limb from limb.

Here the gang would get as drunk as they could, pick fights, plan some fuckery, settle or establish grudges. They'd done it for years. More years than Ed cared to count, if he didn't want to immediately bash someone's head in in a fit of rage.

A few guys tried it with him today, but Ed didn't engage. He felt off, only shoving whoever dared touch him away, but not following up with a punch. But he drank. He drank until he couldn't remember why he was drinking.

Many hours later he was crawling into bed, not bothering to take off his clothes. He was too damn tired. A moth flitted across his vision. Motherfucker, Ed thought, tiredly raising his arm to swat it but finding himself too knackered. Couldn't catch the fucker with his fucked up drunken coordination anyway.

Another moth appeared, closer now. It looked like a fucking rhubarb and custard sweet. Ed must be really, really plastered. Did Izzy put something in his drink?, he thought before sleep took him, a moth after another blackening his vision.

Harsh, glaring sunlight awoke Ed far too soon. He was naked. Strange, he couldn't remember undressing after falling asleep. He should really get those blinds fixed or cover them up so his head wouldn't hurt first thing in the morning with this goddamn sunlight.

He rolled off the side of the bed and grabbed his clothes, tugging them on on his way to the kitchen. They probably needed washing, but he couldn't get himself to care enough. His washing machine had been broken for months and he couldn't be arsed to drag the stuff to the laundromat.

His phone dinged. 11:17am. Fuck. Just six hours, again? A text from Izzy:

We're outside.

Bit repetitive, Izzy. He rolled his eyes.

Whatever. He got his boots on and met the guys outside. "Morning," Ivan greeted. Ed mumbled something back and they headed out, Izzy by his side with that devious smirk, going on about his self-important plans.

The stuff about the cafe sounded kinda like what they already did yesterday, but then all days tended to blend together into a familiar, boring sludge these days. Fang was on about his damn bike again as Ed let out a yawn.

He was hit by the putrid smell of the alley as they made their way into town. Good thing he wasn't the kind to eat breakfast.

"Oy, get out the fuckin' way you fuckin' ponce," Izzy growled. Ed's head shot up, no longer lost in thought. A man, the man, the same man as yesterday, was stood at the end of the alley, taken aback and stumbling backwards as Izzy berated him.

His form was met with sunlight again and Ed sucked in a breath, stepping closer. The sight held him hostage, he wanted to step closer again, but didn't. He simply stared at the man and his fanciful clothes and locks of blond, luscious hair.

Apparently he was also a bit of an outfit repeater, which Ed wouldn't have imagined for this type of dandy. Maybe the man had spent a few too many hours at the bar and not been home? Strange, still.

"What a fuckin' waste of space. If I never had to see another effeminate faggot playing dress up it'd be too fuckin' soon."

This took Ed out of his reverie and he turned to Izzy. That sounded eerily similar to what Izzy had said to the man yesterday. He knew Izzy could be a bit of a pain and didn't have a lot of imagination, but this was weird, even for Izzy.

Like the day before, the man's face crumpled and dissolved into tears. It made Ed feel queasy, but he couldn't look away.

"Pathetic," Izzy spat and kept walking.

This day was shaping up to be as shitty as yesterday's. The proceedings at the cafe were the same as yesterday, Ed zoned out again, replaying the man's tears in his head. He wanted to move in, to step towards the man, in that moment. He didn't know why.

Izzy's words, like a deja vu, irritated him. Their content should irritate him, but it was the fact that they were a repeat of the prior day that really irritated him. He watched a woman outside drop her phone and headbutt a person that tried helping her. He grabbed his knife and sank it into the cafe table he was lounging at.

"What... the FUCK is going on?" he yelled, standing up. His gang were still crowding some poor fucker behind the counter and all turned to look at him. "What's wrong, boss?" Fang asked, while Izzy half-ran over and hissed "What are you doing?"

Ed was beside himself. He'd felt a sense of deja vu all day and wrote it off, but this... this...

He ran out of the cafe, his gang following soon after. He spotted those rich ponce twins coming down the road, repeating their conversation from yesterday verbatim.

Without thinking he grabbed them both by the collars and yanked them together with a rage he hadn't felt in a long time. Their heads knocked into each other. "What the fuck is going on?" he asked again. "Why are you repeating your dumbass chatter? Is this some sort of prank?"

They looked at each other, fearfully, as Izzy appeared below Ed's eyeline. "Blackbeard, Blackbeard, say the word and we'll kick them to shit. Tell me why later, but let's drag them out of sight first so we don't get any unwanted attention."

"Izzy," Ed exhaled, seething rage shaking his voice, "what day is it?"

Izzy gave him a confused look. "June 17th," he replied. That didn't help, Ed hadn't checked what day it was 'yesterday'. Fuck. Fuck.

He let the twinfucks go and dashed away, hearing them recover remarkably quickly with snarky comments. He stopped and turned to glare at them, at which their mouths closed right away. Before he could threaten them a child on roller skates ran full speed into him, then another, smaller one a second later.

Before either child could start crying Ed screamed, a furious Blackbeard yell. Everyone around him froze. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

Panic rolled over him in waves, waves that grew bigger with each second, drowning him. His legs started running, taking him further and further away.

Ed tried to shake off his gang, he couldn't look at them, couldn't stand to be looked at. He wanted to throw up but his stomach was empty.

An alley behind a shop gave him a perfect hiding place. He watched his gang run right past him and slumped to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest.

The panic made his eyes water, his body shake and his mind scream. Ed didn't know how much time passed in that alley. Slowly he regained control of his body, suddenly exhausted beyond belief.

Izzy tried calling him then, but he blocked the call. The phone reminded him of something. He looked into his message history. The most recent message from Izzy, We're outside from 11:17am. No messages with that wording the previous day.

Ed took a deep breath. This wasn't happening. It couldn't.

After a while he stepped out of the alley, wiping his eyes dry and stumbling home, not knowing where else to go. Izzy spotted him along the way. Too soon.

"What the hell is going on, Edward? What was all that about?" Izzy shouted, exasperated.

"Shut it, Izzy. Not today." Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow? Not tomorrow, please not tomorrow.

"Blackbeard has a name to uphold, you can't just attack random people and run away crying without finishing the job! I've had to tell the rest of the gang countless times that you still were Blackbeard, the man who struck fear into another's heart without thinking twice. But now I am not so sure, you're just a shell of a man."

Izzy's voice was filled with vitriol. He wanted violence? He could get it. Blackbeard stepped close to him until their chests were almost touching and took hold of Izzy's throat. Not yet choking, but uncomfortable.

"What was that, Izzy? Did you say something?" he muttered, waves of rage crashing together, threatening to consume him.

"You're pathetic," Izzy spat. Pathetic. Ed had heard that today. And yesterdaytoday. A face crumpled into despair in his mind, blonde hair shining in sunlight.

His hand gripped a little tighter, the man beneath him struggling, caught between a strained expression and a gleeful one that unsettled Ed deeply. He let go.

"Don't follow me," he scowled, menace seeping into his words as he continued homewards.

Once he was back home he grabbed every single bottle of vodka he could find as well as any other alcohol he had stashed around the flat. He started on the vodka bottles right away for a quick numbing of his mangled and wretched thoughts.

Night fell, eventually. As he climbed onto the roof of his flat, he drunkenly thought, This is a bad idea. But he didn't care. He laid out uncomfortably on the shingles and stared at the sky, holding the liquor close to his chest.

A rhubarb and custard sweet flew through the night sky in front of him. No, no, he thought, that's another of those fucker moths. There's a damn infestation. Another moth appeared, and another, and before Ed knew it he was out like a light.

Back in bed, even though he fell asleep on the roof.

Naked, even though he fell asleep fully clothed.

With trepidation he pulled out his phone. 10:57am.

He stared at the date. Took a deep breath, eyes closed. Took a second, third, fourth breath.

Ed reopened his eyes. The date remained the same. June 17th.

With a frantic speed he grabbed all his clothes, threw them on and ran out the door. He was halfway into town when the text came with a ding. We're outside. 11:17am. He almost threw up again, his empty stomach once more offering nothing to expel.

He needed to talk to someone about this. But who? Izzy? The gang? He scoffed.

But he didn't have anyone else.

Torn between only bad options, he made his way back home where the gang were stood outside. "Morning," Ivan said, the same way as he'd heard twice already. Izzy however eyed him curiously.

"Where've you been?" Izzy asked.

"Nowhere. Listen. I'm going crazy, okay. We need to leave. I need to leave. Now." Ed realised his hands were shaking and his eyes wide and fidgety.

Izzy took a step towards him. "But we have plans."

"Yes yes, great, amazing plans. Well done, Izzy. But I've done those already. The cafe, the park, whatever. Been there, done that." Ed knew his patience was wearing thin like his sanity.

"The cafe is a new place though, none of us have been. What are you talking about?"

"No, Izzy. We've been twice. You just can't remember. This isn't going anywhere, but I gotta go somewhere," Ed darted towards his bike opposite his flat and climbed on.

"Go where, Edward? Can't that wait until tomorrow?" Izzy tried.

"What if there is no tomorrow, Izzy? There wasn't one today!" Ed couldn't help but yell.

"I gotta go, I gotta fuck off, gotta go, gotta leave," he chanted to himself mainly and kicked his bike into gear, shooting off into the road. A car screeched to a halt beside him but he couldn't care, accelerating until he had left the tight and busy streets of the town behind and was out on the open road.

Ed realised he was being reckless but couldn't find it in himself to calm down. He knew he'd done bad things, did he deserve to be punished? Was he being punished? He'd not meant to actually invoke purgatory, if that even existed. Fuck. Fuck fuckity fuck.

His tank started running low but he kept going until it would no longer. He had driven many hours into the night at this point as he pulled his bike to the side of the road.

His legs gave out, his hunger surfacing with a growling, cramping stomach after being ignored in his panic. The pain of hunger and the pain of his anger and confusion mixed as he started slamming his fists into the hard ground.

He barely noticed the cars shooting by, fewer now in the deep of night. His knuckles bled but he ignored it and screamed in a raging anguish.

Exhaustion took hold of him quickly then, his bloodied knuckles and nausea barely keeping him awake as he laid down in the dirt. A moth hurried across his vision. Ed raised his arm to swipe for it, but even though he grabbed right for it, his hands touched nothing. One moth after the other beleaguered his sight until there was nothing left.

He was no longer in the dirt near a road. He was in his bed again. Again.

Ed was going to figure out what the hell was going on. This was some elaborate prank the universe was pulling on him and he needed to find his way out.

His phone dinged. He wouldn't look at it. With a few steps he was out the door and facing his gang. "Morning," Ivan greeted him as always. "Yeah, you always say that," Ed muttered in a bad mood.

"Listen guys," he began, interrupting Izzy's impending monologue. "I'm reliving the same day over and over. This has been the" – he started counting days on his fingers – "fucking, I don't know, fourth time I've done this day. I don't know what's going on. Do you? Are you aware of this shit?"

The gang, very slowly, took turns looking at each other with blank expressions. Izzy started making a noise, a weird high-pitched cackling that he did when he was uncomfortable and forcing a laugh. Fuck. The other two joined in, laughing very awkwardly while shooting each other glances. That's a "no" then, Ed thought, rolling his eyes.

"Blackbeard must have had one too many drinks eh," Izzy chortled, still incredibly forced. "Or was it that new drug, that 'Gigglepig' shit Geraldo's been peddling?"

"No, Izzy," Ed snarled through his teeth. "I'm being serious and I'm not high or drugged or drunk. Just hungover, if anything. God none of you are any help at all and you all have the back spines of a fucking inver- invertersomething. I'll look it up and tell you next today. Ugh!" He shook his fists at the sky and scurried away, swearing loudly and ignoring the voices behind him.

He kept walking angrily until he was suddenly in the park. Not remembering how he got there, he sighed and plonked onto a bench. "Fucking useless gang, what do I even keep them around for if they can't help me with something important."

Ed took out his phone to look up the word ("Invertebrates! Thank you," he scowled sarcastically) and as he had the internet open, had a thought. Reliving same day over and over, he typed into the search bar. A variety of websites appeared in the results and a word appeared again and again: "Time loops," he muttered, browsing through the pages.

The pages explained the gist of it, the day repeats... over and over. Seemed to be a popular thing in movies. He put away his phone, overwhelmed, his hands fidgeting with the buckles on his jacket. At some point the air in his lungs had become constricted, shallower, restless.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Once his breathing had calmed down, he looked around the park. He saw the alcoholics huddled together, he saw children playing with their parents. He saw two children on roller skates, one with a bashed knee, inhaling ice creams.

Those identical twats walked past in a hoity-toity way that made his blood boil. Ed wanted to murder them with his eyes. Or maybe not just his eyes. "Say lads," he said loudly, off the bench and beside them before he could think otherwise and blocking their path. "If this was your last day on earth, what would you do?"

They jittered and Ed enjoyed them fretting under the perceived threat to their lives. They needn't know he was asking for his own sake.

"Whatever does he want, Chauncey?" one said to the other, a slight stammer in his voice. Neither answered his question.

"You guys are no fun, off you fuck," Ed complained, stepping aside so they could continue on their fuckwit way.

He settled back into the bench and gave the twins a menacing smirk as they looked back at him before hurrying off. "Last day on earth, eh?" a voice beside him spoke and he jumped.

It was the bird guy from the other today, but without a bird this time. He'd sat down on the bench beside Ed, his dirty blond hair looked even more unkempt than the salt and pepper mess on his own head. Ed silently wondered if he lived in the park.

Ed considered for a moment before deciding to consult this odd figure with his qualms. "If you only had one day left to live. And it was the same day. Over and over," he sighed, "and over."

The figure pondered. "I'm Ed, by the way," Ed said for no reason at all.

"Buttons," bird guy replied, though Ed wasn't sure what bird guy was saying with that. Was that supposed to be his name?

"So, I reckon yer've got yerself stuck in a time loop, is that right?" the bird guy (Buttons?), spoke. Ed felt a jolt through his system that someone was paying attention and believing him no less. Even if it was some guy who talked to birds.

"Ok, Buttons, yes, yes I am. How do you say I get out of this?"

"Have ye been in contact with any filthy phantoms? Need ye be exorcised?"

"Don't really believe in God, mate. She is a tough one if she's real though," Ed replied, cringing a little in discomfort.

"That she is. Have ye dun anythin ye need to correct? Have ye been dealin with any misdeeds?"

Ed sighed and looked at the sky. When wasn't he dealing with misdeeds?

"Sounds like you already know what to do," Buttons declared and made to leave.

"What? Wait no I don't, not at -" Ed started, but he was alone. Bewildered he looked around himself, only to see Buttons hiding very badly behind a tree.

"Fine," Ed grunted and took off.

So he was being punished? But what for, particularly? Figuring that out would take ages. Ed stopped, with a horrible realisation. He had ages.

Ed exhaled a shuddering breath. No, there might be other options. He walked through town, stopping everyone he saw, and asked them the same question. Most half-ran away from him, which, fair enough, he should have seen coming what with his whole everything.

One guy with curly hair and an inquisitive face did stop and consider his question. "You should try crystals," he said thoughtfully. "Here," the man said and pulled a 'crystal' (definitely resin) from his pocket and handed it to Ed. "Best of luck to you."

Ed mumbled a jaded "Thanks."

The man walked off with a small wave. Ed took in his surroundings, looking for the next person to help him not even a little bit. In doing so he spotted a bar, the same one he'd seen blondie go into many todays ago.

Ed could do with a drink, maybe the barkeep would answer some questions for a paying customer. Added bonus being that Izzy and the gang would never find him in there. He boldly entered like he belonged there and squashed the insecure voices in his head.

The bar was mostly empty, it was still early. Ed looked at his phone. Just gone 4pm. A flash of blond hair at the end of the bar made Ed freeze. He hadn't thought as far as that. But it made sense, it was around the same time as previously, of course the man's day would loop the same way.

With an unsteady exhale Ed situated himself at the bar, as far away from blondie as possible. The nickname he gave the man made him unconsciously start humming a Debbie Harry tune, drumming his fingers on the counter. A voice interrupted his surprisingly immersive musical distraction.

"Hi there, what can I get you?" a friendly voice spoke from behind the counter. He looked like he would listen. Good.

"Whatever you most feel like making, mate," Ed replied with nonchalance. He genuinely didn't care. He wanted to drink, but he more importantly wanted to talk.

The guy deliberated before grabbing various bottles. Ed watched, fascinated, but remembering his purpose. "Listen barkeep," he started.

"Oluwande," the man interjected, pouring a very bright pink something into his mixer.

"Oluwande," Ed repeated. "Listen, Oluwande, I'm gonna be frank. Each day is a repetition of the last. It's an endless cycle. You gotta tell me some way to break this cycle mate, before I lose it."

"Life kinda is an endless cycle, yeah. You're unhappy in yours, then?" Oluwande the barkeep replied calmly, practised, as he started shaking the mixture.

"What? That's not -" Ed paused. "Yeah, I guess I am. But also on top of that, every day is repeating. Like, literally. I wake up and each day resets."

A second barkeep slid in. "Like a time loop?" they asked, voice rough and faintly mocking.

"Oy, Jim, watch it," Oluwande muttered to his companion.

"Yes, like a time loop. I get it sounds stupid but just humour me for a second and tell me what you would do? My life is shit enough as is, obviously you already noticed, 'Oh, he's unhappy', I don't need this shit to repeat more than it already does."

Ed didn't know how he found the patience to not leap across the counter and involve the barkeep, Jim, in fisticuffs while he pushed out the angry string of words.

"Sounds to me like you're the kind of guy that sees his life as half-empty."

Ed threw his hands up in exasperation. "Yeah, no shit, Oluwande. My life is half-empty, you are correct."

Oluwande poured out his drink and set it in front of him. Ed was mesmerised, the cocktail had layers of colours swirling into one another with orange slices sitting inside. He took it gingerly.

"What I mean is, some people see their life as a glass half-empty. They only see the negatives. Some people with a similar sort of life may see all those negatives but also consider all the positives and think their glass is half-full instead."

Ed took a sip of his fancy cocktail. "Oh my god, this is the best drink I've ever had," he said without thinking.

"Aw shucks, it's a new thing I've been working on," Oluwande replied, flapping his hand shyly as if to wave away the compliment. Jim nudged him and spoke quietly, almost too quietly for Ed to hear, "Told you."

The glasses metaphor eluded Ed. But that didn't matter right now as he sipped the glass in front of him. If this was going to be his life now, just this day over and over, maybe he should come to this bar more often and order this drink again.

He was stuck here. He was stuck in this town. He was stuck with Izzy. He was stuck with this gang, with their bullshit crimes that had stopped meaning anything to him. His life had stopped meaning anything to him. He didn't even know why he was even here anymore.

Before he knew it, a thick tear rolled off his cheek and into his cocktail. Shit. The salt was gonna mess with the flavours. He grabbed the glass of delicious something and slapped all his cash on the counter, rushing out the door before anyone could stop him or notice his face.

Back home he sat on his unmade bed, still clutching the remnants of the drink, not wanting to let it go. More and more tears rolled down his cheeks, angrily claiming their space on his face. He was helpless to it, so he kept sipping his drink until it was empty and let the moths cover his vision again as he settled into bed. Stupid rhubarb and custard bugs.

When he woke up naked again, he decided to stop caring. Not like before, not the angry sort. Now he was just a floating figment in the universe's grand fuckery. Nothing mattered, so why try.

He took hold of his prick and stroked it until it was hard, then brought himself off. He tried thinking of women, but it didn't work. It had never worked.

The bodies morphed in his imagination, over and over, his arousal almost fading, before he gave in and let himself think of pecs instead of breasts, of sharp jawlines, strong hands wrapping around him. He came with a whimper and immediately curled in on himself.

Today, he ignored the text. He ignored his phone ringing. He ignored the shouts of "Blackbeard, Edward, are you there?" outside the window. He got up when the shouts quietened and gratefully watched them leave.

He put on his comfiest trousers, not the leather ones, but some kind of leggings he'd not worn for years. They smelled a bit musty so he shook them outside the window for a minute. Made no difference.

Ed made his way to the closest cafe, hoping Izzy had already finished their business there so he could indulge in the variety of patisserie. He'd grabbed as much cash as he could find in his flat and was ready to spend.

The cafe was clear of the gang, so Ed ordered one of everything they had on offer. At some point blondie came in and Ed stared at him from the moment he entered until the moment he sat down after ordering.

The cashier, a young effeminate man with a lot of charming attitude, started chatting conspiratorially with blondie and they shot glances his way. Blondie seemed struck when he noticed Ed staring back.

Not to be rattled because nothing mattered, Ed generously offered his bakes with an inviting flourish of his arms. "Scrumptious, right? Take your pick, I'm happy to share."

Blondie seemed to turn red, Ed could tell even from this distance. Huh.

"No thank you, I can get my own. I, uh, appreciate the offer," blondie replied and Ed realised this was the first words they'd exchanged.

"Suit yourself," he managed, suddenly uncomfortable, so he stuffed a full eclair into his mouth in one go. Both men balked at the sight, so he winked at them and half-successfully ignored the loathing tearing at his insides.

One tasty treat after another was devoured, Ed groaning happily with each one. He'd never tried anything like this, but had always wanted to. Someone had once told him men didn't eat these. Bullshit. He stuffed his face further to prove his point to the universe.

Blondie in the meantime had sat down with some tea and a little food of his own. Ed didn't know the names yet, besides eclair. He'd have to take a picture of the display and memorise them for next time. Next time, he sighed internally.

He ate the last of his treats and considered what indulgence to go for next. Maybe that yummy drink at the bar again? Maybe actually a few of those?

The cafe door jingled and in stepped a few faces Ed had hoped to avoid. "Blackbeard, there you fuckin are! Where the fuck have you been?"

"Here, duh," Ed replied, licking the last of the cream off his lip.

"But why? This place is pathetic, fuckin' fancy poof cakes? The only thing worthwhile here is the money these fags make."

The word made something in Ed snap.

He stood up, slowly, but trembling with years of self-hatred. Today's today was going to be different. On this today he would happily follow through on his impulses.

So he punched Izzy in his stupid fucking face.

Izzy stumbled backwards and was caught by Fang and Ivan. "If you don't want to lose your toes, you best not set foot in here again or use that damned word again," Ed growled, seething.

Dumbfounded, Fang and Ivan dragged a shocked Izzy from the cafe.

Ed settled back down into his chair. His hands were shaking. He looked at the owner first, seriously. Almost apologetically. Then at blondie.

Their faces were frozen in utter shock, the owner looking a bit panicked at the prospect of having a violent gang member in his cafe. Understandably. "Sorry," Ed mumbled and got up, leaving more cash on the counter than necessary.

He beelined to the bar. 'The Revenge' it was called, apparently.

"Oluwande," he said immediately as he got in. Oluwande turned to him, utterly confused. "Do I know you?"

"Make me ten of your fancy new drink. The pink colourful one. To go. Actually, make as many as I can carry. I'll pay extra if one of you delivers and you make enough for two people to carry." He demonstratively placed a stack of money on the counter. "And the name's Ed. Not that you'll remember."

"I doubt I'll forget this," Oluwande mumbled as he got Jim to get their To Go cups and cup holders - and lots of them.

"If only you knew," Ed smiled, a little bitterly.

Oluwande dropped off Ed and his collection of cocktails at his flat and Ed gave him all the money he had left. "Thanks mate, these are the best. Here's your tip. Ta ta, then." The man gave him a confused smile as Ed closed the door on him.

Ed switched his bedroom telly on and gathered all his drinks. Oh good, some trash tv. He grabbed the chips he had the bar make as takeaway while Oluwande was busy making the same cocktail over and over.

The words over and over alone made Ed's stomach churn, but he ignored it to chew on the chips. They were too greasy and hastily made, the kitchen probably hadn't been open yet.

He sipped his drinks, one after the other, as he increasingly got invested in the reality shows on telly. At one point he started shouting at the people on the screen, though he knew they couldn't hear him.

When he'd made his way through most of the drinks (an amount that would have knocked any other person into the hospital, on a drink that would make anyone a tad drunk after just one of them) his eyes started to feel really heavy, but not without a familiar visit by the damned moths again.

He'd had a hard time keeping count from the start, but now he really didn't know how long this had been going on for. There was no way to keep track. Messages to himself on his body disappeared by the next morning. His memory stayed intact between each loop, but that memory had been wrecked by decades of drinking.

Every segment of the todays he now knew inside out. He could count down the seconds until the kid would fall on its face, how long the wailing took. But more usefully, he knew the twin fuckwits worked in a bank. He now knew their full fuckwit names and their lunch break duration.

After a bit more digging he also knew the precise moment a banknote delivery would be left unattended so he could make a quick grab for a chunk of the cash. It was enough dosh to make the day a bit more interesting.

He bought the most expensive motorbike he could find and raced it around town. He bought an outfit so pricey it's cost alone could pay his rent for a year. He didn't care. As night fell he grabbed some food from a kebab place. A woman came onto him and he lets her.

He took her on his bike, they went clubbing. She shoved her tongue down his throat and he fucked her in the club lavs. He hated every second of it and tells her to fuck off afterwards. He hated his body and he hated the future todays in which he would have to see her and think of this miserable night.

Before he could exit the lavs a man pissing at the urinals spoke to him. "You just fucked her and look fucking miserable," the stranger joked, a rough, unkind voice. "Maybe you need a real man to show you how to actually have fun?"

His dick was still out when he turned, completely shamelessly, to look at Ed. A dark something passed over Ed, his self-loathing boiling over, mixing with repressed needs, as he pushed the man to the wall and kissed him with teeth.

The man laughed and rubbed his hands along Ed's backside. Not unpleasant, but wrong. This was wrong. Not like this. Ed had pulled away. "Take me to yours," he ordered, fighting the conflicting voices in his head.

With minimal words they decided to take Ed's bike. The man straddled the seat behind him. "Name's Jack, by the way."

"Don't care," Ed replied and set off. He came dangerously close to a few cars along the way, but this only seemed to excite his passenger more.

Ed felt sick. He felt sick when they jacked each other off. He felt glad when the moths took him away from here.

He repeated that loop the next today exactly the same way, save for skipping the woman entirely and going straight for Jack. It felt terrible, but it was easy. They stayed in the lavs this time. When Ed left the club, Jack stumbled after him, trying to give his name again.

"Don't care," Ed replied again.

The next time Ed picked another man. He didn't ask his name, again, didn't listen when it was offered. The man took him home and fucked him. It felt good to be desired.

Better.

His body felt satisfied, but something about it left him wanting.

He decided to take Izzy with him to the club, for old time's sake. As Ed found the next dude he wanted to be fucked by, Izzy threw a complete fit.

The next today, Ed fucked Izzy. The man enjoyed himself immensely and perversely he got even more of a kick out of it the meaner Ed got. Ed didn't enjoy that part.

Ed had only died once so far. He'd been with Izzy and Jack, each on their bikes, shooting down the dirt track along the quarry. He was curious. He didn't care. He let go of his bike as he shot over the edge. A short flight later, moths clouded his vision.

Somewhere above him, two men had stopped to look down at the crash. "He might be okay," Jack had said. The following explosion had shut them both up.

Ed spent one today deliberately messing with the Badminton twins. His hatred for them had been on sight.

"Chauncey, is that you? I haven't seen you since school," Ed lied as he joined their gourmet lunch table, tipping an entire salt shaker into their meals. "You don't look well at all. Are you ill?"

Chauncey spluttered as Nigel leaned in and replied for him. "Decidedly not! Who are you?"

"Oh I guess he isn't ill, unless you're also afflicted?" Ed replied innocently, knowing it was a cheap, low blow.

"We didn't go to school together at all, I don't remember any nutcases being there," Nigel glared at him. "Besides Stede Bonnet, of course, but he's someone else's problem now!"

They both erupted into haughty cackles that made Ed punch each of them one in the face. And if he added a below the table kick to each groin then that was his business.

It had been maybe months, maybe years, of todays. Ed didn't, couldn't know. Ed didn't know why he couldn't break the cycle of loops. He had done so many variations of todays, talked to the townspeople about so many things, he was at his wits end.

In everything there was one place he was avoiding. This today, he took his bike to the outskirts of town and visited his Mum.

The graveyard was in summery bloom, Ed hated the heat on his leathers and the insects bothering him. These, unlike the blasted moths, he could touch and squash if they got too close. He'd taken to buying a packet of rhubarb and custard sweets most mornings to suck on them out of spite.

He'd bought some flowers at the flower shop out front and set them on the unkept grave. "Sorry Mum for not visiting," he muttered. "S'not like you're here anyway."

Ed sighed and sat in the grass by the grave. "I don't know what I've done wrong. I know I've done a lot wrong. But why this? Why me?"

He'd not confided in anyone in many, many todays. Underneath his eyelashes he felt a well open and trickle down his face.

"Where did I go wrong, Mum? Was I really not meant to have good things? Or did you mean I wasn't meant to be happy? Because I'm not happy. I don't know if I ever was.

“And I'm tired. I'm tired of this. I want out, any way now. Anything. I have to end this, I can't... I can't stand it anymore."

He breathed in and let out a long exhale.

This was it, then?

He knew how to crash his bike by now. The moths found him as soon as he struck something, hard.

The next today he grabbed his toaster, plugged it in and took it into his bath.

The today after that, he jumped.

The today after that, he stabbed himself as advantageously as he could to quicken the bleeding out.

The todays after those were filled with every idea he'd ever thought, been told, trains, drugs, whatever. He tried it all. He didn't even bother getting dressed for a lot of them. Every today ended with moths and started another today. Nothing truly ended.

He should have known after the first motorbike incident.

So he gave in.

He did the next today the same as the first. He followed it exactly. He let them drag him everywhere. He swallowed his words and calmed the punch building in his hand as Izzy harassed blondie again. The rest of that today after that was easy, but blondie stayed in his mind more insistently that time.

Ed woke up thinking of blondie. He knew everyone's names, had observed everyone's routines as they went about their day through town. Except blondie's. He'd once considered it and immediately went to fuck Jack again instead.

The whole situation felt messed up beyond belief.

But curiosity got the better of him eventually. When Izzy's text came, We're outside, 11:17am, Ed told them to start at the park and fuck off without him. That way they would avoid blondie.

Ed made his way over to the alley, a nervous feeling inside him that felt foreign. Blondie was clutching his chest in a now familiar way, but doubly familiar now Ed could take a closer look without Izzy's interruption.

It looked like the man was having a panic attack and hyperventilating. Ed approached, slowly, carefully. "Breathe," he spoke with as quiet and considerate a voice as he could muster. "Take deep breaths so you don't feel faint."

Ed kept his distance and didn't touch the man, knowing how much getting crowded pissed him off when he felt like that. The man's eyes shot up in surprise and met Ed's. There was no fear there, just overwhelming anxiety that Ed knew well. "Breathe," he repeated, demonstrating with slow, deep breaths.

The man kept his eyes locked with Ed's as his breathing slowed, evened out until it had regained normalcy.

"What's your name?" Ed spoke softly, curious but also knowing it would distract the man.

"S-Stede Bonnet," blondie answered.

"Pleased to meet you, Stede Bonnet. My name's Ed. Can I invite you to some bakes? There's a lovely cafe around the corner."

Ed felt a bit on edge. He knew the daily patterns like the back of his hand, but this felt different. He was worried for Stede's well-being. Some part of him even felt nervous that Stede might say no.

Stede stepped out of the alley and into the sunlight. This moment always took Ed's breath away, this man was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, even if Ed had been reluctant to admit that to himself. His chest felt hauntingly empty at the sight and he nearly missed the tentative nod from blondie, from Stede.

This was going to hurt him in ways he didn't even know yet, Ed thought as he walked Stede to the cafe. Some part of him knew and had avoided Stede deliberately, the one person that interested him in this whole mess, because of it. What it was, he didn't know yet.

But the worst things had surely already happened, how much worse could this be?

"Lucius," Ed greeted the owner as if he was an old friend. He almost was, though the younger man didn't know it and simply cocked an eyebrow. "I would love a plate of eclairs, two scones and two teas for me and my friend here."

Ed had early on realised he could approach people as if he knew them, and that most people defaulted to thinking they'd forgotten him rather than distrusting the deception. It wasn't a full lie anyway. In a way he did know them and they'd forgotten, just not the way they thought.

Stede remained quiet but did not protest the order. They sat down at Ed's favourite table in the corner. Stede looked a bit pale at the number of sugars Ed was dumping into one of the tea cups. "N-none for me, thanks," Stede spoke.

Ed bit back an "I know." He may not know Stede Bonnet's routine, but he'd overheard his tea order so many times that he knew that part well enough.

"So," Ed began, casually. "What do you do for work?"

Stede burst into tears, his sobs making Ed and Lucius jump.

Lucius came around the counter, frowning at Ed. "What did you say to him?"

Okay, try again.

"So," Ed began, casually, again. "Are you single?"

No, no! That wasn't what he'd planned to say at all, fuck. "Or are you married?" he added on, as if that would make it any better.

Once more Stede burst into tears, his sobs making Lucius appear, frowning at Ed. "What did you say to him?"

Ed sighed. What indeed.

"So," Ed began, casually, again. "What do you do for fun?"

Ed held his breath, but this time, no tears came. He breathed a sigh of relief as Stede pondered the question.

"I love going on nature hikes. The foliage is incredible around here, I love it."

Ed didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't that. He let out a chuckle.

"That's awesome, mate. Can you recommend any hikes?"

Stede could. Before Ed knew it he was entranced in a long tale of a hike and how much fun it had been. Ed could see the sparkle in Stede's eyes and felt the sparkle crackle in his insides. Weird.

"The insect life here is so varied. Unfortunately Mary, my wife, hates-"

Ed noticed a shift in the mood as Stede stopped in his tracks and his face looked... wobbly again. With fright Ed noticed how much time they'd spent here. Even with his diversion, Izzy was incoming soon.

Without thinking, Ed patted Stede on the shoulder. "Let's go for a walk, yeah?" he asked with a smile. They stepped out and Ed spotted the Badminton fuckwits. He blared his teeth as his eyes shot daggers at their vital organs. Stede, he noticed too late, had twisted away to hide his face from them.

"Do you know those guys? They're the worst right?" Ed offered, but Stede remained stiff and turned away.

After a moment, Stede answered a weak "Yeah" that had Ed remember faintly that they'd mentioned a Stede Bonnet once, though he didn't know the connection they shared. Something about school?

They walked to the park and sat down on a bench. Stede was quiet. Then, he looked at Ed and whispered "Why are you doing this? Did they put you up to this?"

"Huh?"

"The twins! Haven't they ruined my day enough? Did they get you to trick me or something?"

"Wait, what? The Badmintons? I hate them! I would never do something like that."

"Then why are you talking to me?" Stede asked, his voice quivering a little.

Oh jeez. This guy has as many self-esteem issues as I do, thought a small part of Ed's brain while the other part panicked trying to find an adequate reply.

"I don't know," Ed finally replied. "Just didn't want you to be upset anymore, I guess." It was the truth, or at least as much as Ed was capable of revealing.

"Huh," Stede mumbled quietly before smiling a small, unassuming smile. Ed hadn't seen Stede smile even once in all the previous todays he had lived through. It made his heart flip in a way he'd never experienced and he felt unable to speak.

"I would say 'I'm flattered, but I'm married' but that's only technically true. I'm getting a divorce, or rather, she is," Stede confessed with such a vulnerable voice that Ed was afraid a gust of wind might break it.

"Shit mate, I'm sorry," Ed replied inanely. After all these todays there were still moments that left him without words. He had always been bad at consoling others.

"Didn't expect to hear that this morning, you know? And then to come into work with those twins... they barely tried to hide their mirth when I was let go during the mid-morning meeting."

Ed's brain pressed the pause button as it tried to process this. "You... and the... in the same day?!" Ed finally burst out, bewildered.

Stede nodded, the saddest nod Ed had ever seen. He had the sudden urge to hug the man tightly but they were still essentially strangers. Ed didn't dare touch him, didn't dare move.

"You deserve a drink," Ed suggested instead. Stede was amenable.

'The Revenge' was a favourite spot of Ed's thanks to the entertaining barkeeps and that delicious drink. Ed ordered two right away.

"I think just a gin and tonic for me, thank you though," Stede interjected.

"They're both for me, Stede," Ed laughed and patted Stede on the back before he could stop himself. Stede looked at him in a funny way and it made him want to relive this moment over and over. He probably would. He could, after all.

They chatted as they sipped on their drinks and Ed never had an easier time talking to someone new. They fell into easy conversation, a banter of sorts that felt different because of the lingering glances and the rising want within Ed.

Ed leaned in as they finished their second round of drinks. "Want to come back to mine? I could put the Ed in Stede," he said, winking.

Too cheesy. Too soon. Maybe completely off entirely? Stede's face went on a journey that ended with an unmistakable, "No! What has gotten into you?"

Ed decided it was best he didn't make some joke like "You, soon, hopefully" about the innuendo in that one and restarted the today instead.

Ed took a moment to pity himself, to wallow in his rejection, before setting about the day almost the exact same way, save for a few improvements to make things smoother and to change the unfortunate end of the night.

(If he tried a few more pick-up lines, the 'todays' racking up higher and higher in number, before finally giving in that Stede was not the type to go for a cheesy one-liner, that was between him and the universe.

He wasn't even sure that Stede was interested in men, but so long as he respected Stede's boundaries, it didn't hurt to at least try to seduce him?)

Ed leaned in as they finished their drinks, a few extra this time. "Want to do something weird?"

"Like what?" Stede asked nervously, licking his lips. The sight made Ed's brain almost default back to a cheesy come-on, but he didn't want the night to end prematurely again.

"I was thinking... karaoke bar?"

Judging by Stede's face he'd said the right thing.

Ed had come to the karaoke bar a few times when he was at his drunkest. One time he'd tried to perform Down With the Sickness but it was so embarrassing he electrocuted himself on purpose on the sound system. This time would be different.

The place was almost empty and they had the karaoke system to themselves. The one-liners hadn't worked, so Ed tried a different formula: romcoms. He greeted Frenchie, the host, and gave him his song choice. The music quietly set in and Ed steeled himself.

"You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You'd be like Heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much,"

Ed wasn't a great singer. Somehow his breath was shaking, maybe this had been a bad idea. He was staring at Stede and Stede was staring at him, wide-eyed but not in a good way. During an instrumental interlude Stede filled the vocal silence with a sad "This song always reminds me of Heath Ledger. He was cute in that film."

Well. At least he got the reference.

One-liners and romcom references hadn't worked. The memory of some of them made him cringe a little. Or a lot. But he wasn't going to give up just yet, Ed thought as he lazily stroked himself. He blushed as he thought of Stede licking his lips, of Stede smiling at him, of the brush of Stede's hand over his as they'd walked from bar to karaoke bar. Fuck.

Ed didn't want to put on so much of an act this time, or at least he tried not to. He was still set on seduction, but he let Stede sing the first song tonight. He didn't want to miss that experience while he was caught up with trying to get into his pants. Unexpectedly, Stede pulled out a gay anthem of sorts (does he know that? And why do I know that? Ed wondered) with a track by the Pet Shop Boys. Ed hated it.

Ed got a few more chances to hear Stede 'sing' his way through What Have I Done To Deserve This thanks to his own repeated attempts to sing something seductive right after. Neither Flesh For Fantasy by Billy friggin Idol, nor INXS's Need You Tonight had the intended effect. Stede didn't look uninterested per se, just not... eager to go bugger and be buggered.

By the third today of that song, Ed felt compelled to join in, swept up in Stede's endearing performance, whole-heartedly singing along with Stede.

I bought you drinks, I brought you flowers

I read your books and talked for hours

Every day so many drinks

Such pretty flowers, so tell me

What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?

As Ed sat down again to watch Stede perform You Can Call Me Al as if he were Chevy Chase himself, Ed laughed, bewitched.

In that moment, watching this silly, beautiful man play an air trumpet, he realised that while he failed to seduce Stede, Stede unwittingly was very successful at seducing Ed.

They sang together on I'm Still Standing, both accidentally falling deeper into an impassioned rendition, each for their own reasons, sharing this moment of venting pent up frustrations.

Ed tried to alleviate the mood with a slightly goofy Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, which Stede almost immediately joined in on. Ed knew Frenchie was somewhere grimacing at these men with hacksaws for voices, but didn't care. He laughed, freely, in a way he hadn't before Stede. Stede laughed with him and it was the best feeling in the world.

As exhaustion took both of them, he gave Stede an encouraging hug. One that didn't ask for anything. Stede gave him a surprised smile that warmed his insides as they said goodnight.

Ed came quickly that morning, more and more visions of Stede enveloping his mind. He decided on something. He didn't want to mess around with him anymore, Stede deserved better than that. He wanted Stede to know.

"So," Ed spoke, like countless times before. "What do you do for fun?"

"I love going on nature hikes. The foliage is incredible around here, I love it," Stede replied, as always.

"If you only had one day left to live, what would you do?" Ed asked, diverting from the script.

"What do you mean?" Stede responded, surprised.

"We've had this conversation many times. I've adored it every time and would be happy to keep doing it, but I need to tell you the truth, I need to try it, at least once. I'm stuck in a never-ending time loop. It was purgatory at first, then hell, if you don't mind the Christian metaphors."

Ed gesticulated with his hands, nerves getting the better of him as he tried to keep his voice calm. "Though since talking to you I've started to enjoy the todays for the first time, if I'm being honest."

Ed made sure to emphasise the words with weight, but Stede asked anyway. "Are you being serious, is this a joke?"

"Far from it, Stede. I thought it was a prank at first, had to be, right? But for ages now I've been reliving this same day. I wake up in the same place, at the same time, as if the previous loop never happened. Here, in about 30 seconds, Pete, Lucius' boyfriend, will drop something in the kitchen behind the counter."

"What?" Stede began, still processing, before they heard the clatter from the kitchen. Stede's colour left his face. Ed meanwhile took a pen from Stede's blazer and scribbled on a napkin, quickly sliding it over to Stede.

"Pete baby, did you drop the bakes? Are they salvageable?" Lucius called from the counter to the kitchen. Stede stared, blank-faced at the napkin, upon which Ed had written those exact words, verbatim.

"A woman outside is going to drop her phone. She will headbutt another person. Their names are Anne and Mary – though Mary goes by Mark some days – and they fall in love, it's very cute. They usually already think about ordering a moving van by dinnertime."

Stede remained silent as he watched exactly the described scene unfold. "Did you plan this? Is this some elaborate... trickery? Did the Badmintons-"

"No, those twats have nothing to do with this, though they will in a minute be heading out on their lunch break and I could torment them for you, if you asked."

"What do you know about me?" Stede asked, his voice a tad higher than before.

"I know your go-to karaoke song is What Have I Done To Deserve This by the Pet Shop Boys, that you watched them in concert with your wife Mary, that your favourite drink is a strawberry milkshake but you'll order a gin and tonic in most bars. Your favourite colour is blue and you love the sea. You wanted to be a pirate as a child -"

Suddenly, Stede stood up. "Okay, okay! I get it. I believe you. Can we leave?"

Ed smiled at him gently, hoping to ease the tension. "Let's go for a walk."

In the park he introduced Stede to Buttons. "He's from Scotland, this is his bird friend, and best friend, Karl. Karl's married to Olivia," Ed explained while Buttons nodded. Stede looked baffled.

After that, Ed tried to talk more about the loops and his theories about it to an increasingly perturbed, but captivated, Stede. "Maybe the real God, if she exists, uses tricks like this, you know? Maybe she's not omnipotent. She's just been around so long she knows everything."

"You're not a god, Ed," Stede chuckled and punched his arm a little. Ed laughed. His ego needed that.

They walked back along the main road and Stede hooked his arm in Ed's. He'd never done that before. Ed relished in the pressure on his arm and the way it made his heart flutter.

"Stede," Ed thought out loud as they strolled, "is there anything I can do to make this day and future todays better for you? You haven't shared much but I know about the divorce and the job thing. I'm sorry," he winced, bracing for tears.

Stede eyes did well up, but he also started smiling. "Sorry," Ed said again rapidly as he saw the tears, "I know it's upsetting to think about."

But Stede shook his head. "It is, and I'm glad I don't remember living through this horrible day as many times as you seem to, but that's not... No-one had said something so kind to me, I think, ever."

An angry little something settled into Ed's stomach but he pushed it away. "I cannot believe there are people out there that don't know."

"Don't know what?" Stede said, his voice impossibly small.

"How wonderful you are," Ed breathed, not realising what he was admitting to until it was too late and blushing profusely.

Stede also blushed and they were both silent for a moment.

"Can we sit down to talk somewhere private?" Stede eventually asked. "There's still so much I want to know."

"Sure. I can show you my place? You've not seen that yet. It's pretty dirty mind you," Ed offered, regretting it right away.

"I'm sure I'll live."

"Right. Well, follow me." Ed squeezed the arm that was still wrapped around his, a feeling of content spreading from it to his heart.

They stopped for some takeaway food and drinks before settling into Ed's flat, talking for hours until they had to lie down from sheer tiredness.

"I'm not sleeping with you," Stede said immediately, bashful.

"I know," Ed smiled despite himself. "I guess you're immune to my many, many attempts."

Stede ducked his head and blushed a deep red, his eyes sparkling in a way that made Ed feel full of... something. He didn't need to bugger Stede, all he needed was his company.

Oh. Oh.

Stede stopped hiding his face and turned to look at Ed, still a little reddened. "I know you hate the loops, but maybe it isn't supposed to be bad? Sure we are always having a really shoddy start to the day, but maybe it's all in all... not a curse? Sometimes I wish I had a thousand lifetimes to pursue all my dreams and interests. I suppose it depends on how you look at it."

The soft earnest voice made Ed wish he was right. Sleepiness was starting to take them both, but Ed didn't want to let go. Finally someone knew, Stede knew, about the never ending todays. About Ed's pain.

Stede's eyelids gently closed, but Ed fought gravity on his, not wanting to stop looking at the beautiful face in front of him. It made Ed feel more peaceful than he'd ever felt. His heart opened and words started tumbling out.

"I think you're the kindest, sweetest, most gorgeous person I've ever met in my life. I've never seen anyone that's nicer to people than you are. The first time I saw you... something happened to me." Ed felt his voice quietly soften as he remembered Stede shining in the sunlight, remembered staring and staring and not knowing why.

"I never told you but... I knew that I wanted to hold you. I don't deserve someone like you. But if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life."

Ed felt at peace, grateful to have found words for what he was feeling and to have had the courage to say them.

The last thing he heard as the moths speckled his vision was a drowsy voice beside him mumbling "Did you say something?"

The sweet, cherished face by his side had gone. A tear ran silently down his cheek as loneliness like no other washed over him, a hollow, helpless void.

But unlike other times, it did not linger. Stede's voice crept into his mind. Maybe it's not a curse. Ed's heart beat steadily and warmed, resolve forming and pushing away the emptiness bit by bit.

The phone. The text. The gang.

"Izzy," Ed spoke immediately as he came downstairs to meet the gang. He'd avoided them for a while, hoping he could just evade them and enjoy his time with Stede.

"Got some excellent plans for today, Blackbeard," Izzy promised, but Ed put a hand up to silence him.

"I'm not gonna be Blackbeard anymore, mate. We've known each other for ages and maybe when you stop being a bigoted hateful twat we can be friends, but I'm dissolving the gang effective immediately. It's just us four these days anyway." His boys looked like they'd been told they were suddenly deathly allergic to leather.

"Go find some better meaning in life. Fang, you always wanted to volunteer at the animal shelter, right? Ivan, I know you shred the guitar even better than you punch faces." The two of them shuffled their feet shyly and nodded with the hint of a smile.

Ed grinned at them, before turning to Izzy. "I appreciate what you've done for me over the years, even when it was sorely misguided. But I need something different out of life, mate. I can't keep doing this." Izzy's face fell and he knew it was hurting, but he had to do this.

"And stop calling people faggots, you're gay Izzy. I'm gay, I'm pretty sure Fang is too. Ivan might be ace and I respect that." He fist-bumped Ivan without looking.

"Take a day to let it settle, we can talk tomorrow." If there is a tomorrow, he thought to himself. "Do not go around threatening people, at least not under Blackbeard's name."

He squeezed Izzy's shoulder, the face above it dissolved into shock, its teeth grinding in aggravation. "Now fuck off, I have things to take care of."

A full day of errands awaited him and he was almost excited to begin. He started with Buttons, chatting with him and Karl jovially. He decided to share some insider knowledge from previous todays about which places were hiring (that were minimally judgemental towards kookiness) and offered to help him write a CV.

Not that Ed knew how to do that yet, but he would by the time he'd need to. Buttons laughed, but affirmed he would take him up on that offer.

At the cafe he indulged in a pain au chocolat while listening to an increasing volume of bickering. Lucius and Pete were fighting over nothing, stress from opening a business as a couple getting the better of them.

Ed, with the help of pointed questions, reminded them of how much they loved each other and why they'd started the business in the first place. The two of them hugged and offered for Ed to join, which he politely declined, off on his next errand.

Just in time he caught the child from falling and bloodying its knee. The parent gave him a surprised thanks as the kid immediately skated away. Ungrateful little bastard.

He spotted Stede enter the cafe and his heart flipped. He'd told Lucius he'd pay it forward for the next customer, knowing full well who would be in next. The surprised happy face Stede made was priceless.

Next on the agenda was actually improving his skill set with these countless todays. He'd looked up the address for the local community college and found a cooking class. The teacher, a man named Roach, was open to last-minute drop ins if you paid in cash.

The first class was a mess, Roach had to focus on him almost the entire time so he wouldn't burn down the classroom kitchen. After cooking classes he attended a variety of other courses, picking up some guitar lessons, a bit of Spanish, business classes, and some pottery to wind down.

In the evenings he would go to Olu and Jim's bar, 'The Revenge'. He talked to them about their business once he'd picked up enough lingo from his classes. They appreciated the encouragement and the patronage as he drank Olu's special drink, one after the other.

Sometimes he would spot Stede watching him. Ed would buy him a drink and listen to Stede talk about insane foliage, loving every second of it.

Today after today went by and, between his daily classes and his practice sessions at night, Ed's cooking improved rapidly. He rejoiced on the nights when he experimented and managed to create a new dish from scratch, an unfamiliar sense of fulfilment and pride grounding him.

Ed had started feeling content with his todays, though he missed spending more time with Stede. Maybe he could adjust his routines a little.

This time, as he watched Lucius explain to Stede that his order had already been paid, he went back into the cafe to watch Stede's face from up close. "There he is," Lucius called out. "He's the one who paid for it. Back so soon?"

Ed blushed into his beard and hid his face a little. Shoot.

Stede, undeterred, came up to him with that intoxicating little smile. "Thank you, I really needed a little pick-me-up today."

Ed looked at him and couldn't help smiling back. "I know how that feels. Would rather like another one of these yummy treats myself. Mind if I join you?" he asked Stede, hoping his beard would hide his nervous blush.

"After you," Stede gestured to the tables after collecting their orders. "May I enquire after your name?"

"Edward Teach, born on a beach," he replied in a bit of a sing song as they sat down.

Stede laughed at the rhyme. "Were you really?"

"Dunno, it's what my Mum always said," Ed answered, returning the laughter.

A look of concentration sat on Stede's face and Ed began to worry a little.

"Sorry, I was just trying to come up with a rhyme of my own but couldn't think of one for Stede Bonnet."

Ed giggled, relieved, and always charmed by Stede's oddball behaviour. "Stede Bonnet, rhymes with... sonnet?"

"A sonnet? I do like a bit of poetry," Stede considered.

"Perfect," Ed chuckled. "Hey, I'm popping in to a cooking course at the community college in like an hour, wanna join? The teacher is a madman in the best way and an amazing cook."

After a moment of contemplation, Stede agreed. "I'm horrid at cooking, would be nice to improve at least a little now that I'll have to cook for myself."

Ed pretended to ignore the slip up, knowing Stede wouldn't be ready to talk about that yet. He diverted the topic to nature instead, eager to hear more on the topics that made Stede's eyes sparkle.

Before leaving he enthusiastically invited Lucius and Pete to karaoke that evening. Buttons had already agreed to come and Ed was really looking forward to that experience. "Frenchie, the host, he's a hoot! And a great musician. It's just down the road from here. You should join us, it'll be fun!"

"Yeah, alright," Lucius answered in that ironic way of his, but Ed knew he was interested. "Great, see you tonight!" Ed yelled cheerily as he exited the cafe with a slightly dazed Stede.

"Didn't take you for the type to sing karaoke, Edward," Stede remarked with a sly smile as they walked.

"Call me Ed! And you have no idea. It'll really blow your mind." Ed grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

"In a good way?" Stede teased.

"If you're trying to ascertain whether I'm shite at singing then you'll have to wait and see, won't you? My lips are sealed."

"Will I be hoping your lips would be sealed once you start singing?"

"You cheeky bastard!" Ed laughed, playfully shoving Stede's arm.

God he had missed this. He had missed Stede, though this was the most chatty and peppy he'd ever seen him, which only made his beating heart flip more wildly.

When they got to the classroom kitchen, Roach was setting up the ingredients. Ed had taken to bringing his own the last classes to expand his recipes under Roach's guidance, but opted to go through the regular class with Stede.

"Roach, mate, good to see you. May I introduce Stede Bonnet? He will be joining us today, but no worries, I'll make sure he shan't set your kitchen on fire."

Stede shot him a fiery look before turning to Roach. "Ed had told me so much about you, you sound like an excellent cook and teacher. I'm excited to learn!"

Roach managed to hide his bewilderment pretty well as he explained what they'd be cooking today.

The two of them easily fell back into conversation as they cooked, with Ed interfering once or twice on Stede's behalf so his meal wouldn't burn to ashes.

"So you really have never cooked before?" Ed asked, laughing. He couldn't judge, he hadn't either before the loops. Stede reminded him of his own early attempts at cooking and Roach's panic.

"No, my wife tended to cook or we got takeouts. Or ex-wife, I should say," Stede answered solemnly.

"Sorry mate," Ed offered. Stede's heartache never stopped hurting him in turn.

"Don't be. The worst part of it is, between Mary asking for a divorce this morning and then getting fired at work, this has been a truly miserable, horrible day, and yet."

Ed stayed silent but dared to put his hand on Stede's upper back in comfort as Stede stirred his sauce over and over.

"The worst part isn't either of those things, it's the absolute relief I felt. I was so relieved when she told me she was having an affair, that she was leaving to live with Doug. The gleeful faces when I left that rotten job made me all the more glad to finally escape them. I'd never dared to, on my own.

“My father insisted I get that job at that bank and he had insisted I marry Mary and I did both. It was unfair to Mary and it was unfair to me because" – Stede suddenly looked around the classroom kitchen, as if remembering where he was, but everyone was occupied with their own sauces as he finished bitterly, quiet as a mouse – "because I never loved her. And I never could."

Stede shook for a moment as grief passed over him and Ed tried to soothe him with gentle strokes on his back.

"Hoo boy. That felt good to say," Stede spoke faintly after a moment, before smiling at Ed. "Never thought I'd admit that to anyone, never mind a near stranger."

Ed smiled back, his heart full. Stede had never confided all this in him and it made his heart ache in sympathy and love. He loved Stede so fiercely it was hard to speak.

Roach interrupted them as he went around to try everyone's meals and give pointers. He tried Stede's first and had suggested more spices and much less salt next time. Then he tried Ed's and his eyes lit up. "This tastes better than mine, what did you change?"

Ed shuffled his feet on his stool as the whole room stared at him. He offered some explanation of butter, onion and garlic and some additional spices he'd smuggled from the college's pantry. Roach clapped him on the back enthusiastically and congratulated him before moving on to the next person.

Stede grabbed a spoon and fork and tried Ed's cooking. "Wow... You should open a restaurant," he mumbled in awe before stuffing another fork full into his mouth.

Ed beamed at him and wiggled his head in shyness. "Maybe."

They ate their dishes in companionable silence. Ed found it a bit hard to eat while his stomach was already filled with butterflies, but he'd offered his own servings to Stede and was quite pleased to eat Stede's very first foray into cooking.

"My Mum always wanted to teach me how to cook, but we never got round to it before she died," Ed found himself saying as they stepped outside. He'd never talked to anyone about his Mum.

Stede mirrored the soothing hand on the back from earlier. "I'm sure she would be proud," he spoke in the softest of voices. Ed didn't deserve this kindness.

"I hope so," Ed responded, frowning as he felt his eyes water. "I've been a bad guy, a really shitty guy, Stede. I've done some horrible things. I'm not sure I can ever make up for it."

Stede removed his hand from Ed's back and Ed stepped away, mortified that he'd said the wrong thing, been too honest, when his hand was squeezed tightly. He looked at it in shock and saw Stede's own envelop it.

"We've all done bad things, Edward. What matters is how you deal with it moving forward. Sounds to me like you are dealing with it."

Ed wiped his eyes with his free hand and smiled at Stede, precious, wonderful Stede.

"Would you... would you like to go for drinks? I know a good spot, if you like," Ed offered, barely recognising his own, vulnerable voice. "Don't mind if you've had enough of me for today though," he lied.

Stede smiled and squeezed his hand again. "I would like to, thank you."

On their walk to 'The Revenge', Stede didn't let go of Ed's hand and Ed could not have been more grateful. Only as they got to the entrance, Stede extracted his hand to open the heavy wooden door.

"Olu, Jim, good to see you," Ed greeted immediately as they sat down at the bar. "How've you been?"

"Good mate, and yourself?" Oluwande replied in that friendly manner that Ed could rely on.

"Excellent thanks! I'd like to order one of your special new drinks, Olu, and for Stede here..." Ed deliberately paused to let Stede order his own gin and tonic, the usual, but was surprised when Stede said "I'd love to try your special drink too, actually, thanks Ed. Sounds enticing!"

Ed grinned a big grin that hurt his face.

As they received their cocktails, Ed made a pleased noise as his favourite blend of flavours ran over his tongue. Stede sipped on his and instantly agreed. “This is exquisite, thank you, Olu!”

Olu nodded a flattered smile as Ed scanned the room. "Oh, a dartboard! Fancy a match, Stede?"

The dartboard hung in the back, where Stede usually sat. He'd not used it yet, though he had once considered using a few todays to achieve perfect aim.

They played a game and it turned out they were both terrible at it. Ed was a bit better thanks to having some practice from knife throwing (not that he was gonna mention that right now), but the weight and flight of a dart was totally different.

"We're pants at this," Stede laughed, but stayed determined to hit the centre.

"Tell you what," Ed said before he could stop the thought, "let's make a bet. If you hit the centre first, you get something from me. If I hit it first, I get something from you."

Excitement itched in his veins, doubly as he observed Stede looking tempted and evaluating the challenge.

"What kind of something?”

“Anything!”

“Anything?”

"Anything," Ed emphasised with a big grin. Fuck, what had he gotten himself into?

Stede pondered, deliberated, considered, for what felt like an eternity. His ears were a little pink when he finally said, "Deal."

They took turns throwing darts, each of them cackling maniacally before throwing completely off centre and cursing loudly. Ed had never heard something as attractive as Stede cursing in a competitive frenzy.

"That one is pretty close," Ed bragged after his latest throw.

Stede rolled his eyes in a huff and lined up his throw. "As if."

Ed watched him closely and didn't even realise what happened until Stede turned to him in complete explosion of exuberance. Slowly, Ed turned to the board. Right there, slap bang in the middle, was a dart. Stede's cheering infected him and they bounced up and down together in a celebratory dance.

Once they got down from their high, Ed started thinking about what Stede might ask for and Stede started looking at the floor. Ed took a big swig of his delectable drink as he eyed Stede, then turned to Olu for a distraction. "We're off for some karaoke after, care to join? A bunch of folks will be there. D'you know Lucius and Pete?"

"Sure we do, great lads,” Olu affirmed. “We'll think about it, though we don't close til ten."

"It'll be a blast. Would love to hear you two sing a duet. But no pressure, you can just sit and listen to the rest of us with rusty pipes for voices."

"Knew it," Stede interjected.

"Shush you," Ed guffawed, poking Stede in the side, who faltered a little. "Oh, ticklish are you?"

"Don't you dare," Stede glowered at him.

"I wouldn't," Ed laughed again, and he meant it.

He'd do whatever Stede asked. Which reminded him of the bet again, which made his face tint, hopefully hidden by his beard. He deflected by placing enough money for their drinks and a generous tip on the counter.

"Shall we?" Ed said, offering his arm like a gallant gentleman.

Stede took it, slowly, and smiled at him. God, that smile.

As they got to the karaoke bar, Buttons was already inside.

"Buttons, my man. Good to see you again!"

"And yerself, Edward. Who have ye brought with ye?"

"Buttons, this is Stede. Stede, this is Buttons."

"Pleasure t' make yer acquaintance."

Next he introduced Stede to Frenchie, then Buttons and Frenchie to each other, setting up a few conversation starters about cats and demons, before sitting down with Stede.

He jumped right back out of his seat, got Stede and himself some drinks from the bar and sat down again. "What song are you in the mood for?" Ed asked, as he took a sip of his cocktail. It was fun, sugary and fruity, though not as fun as Olu's.

Stede's eyes twinkled mischievously over his gin and tonic.

His choice ended up being A Little Respect, of all things. He had to know about this being another gay anthem, right? Right?

Ed bellylaughed with joy when he recognised the song. He, Frenchie and Buttons cheered from the audience at Stede's very committed performance.

Ed was finagled into going next and he got Frenchie to duet with him to Don't You Want Me. Frenchie had a great voice and while Ed's had improved a whole lot over the todays, Ed knew Stede would enjoy teasing him after. It made Ed excited to really go ham, go all out on his best/worst impersonation of Phil Oakey.

Stede cheered loudly despite having been in stitches for parts of the song. He opened his mouth to say as much, just as Lucius and Pete came in. "Heeeeey!" Ed and Stede greeted them in tipsy unison.

"Wow, we evidently need to do some catching up in terms of drinks. Enjoying yourselves, boys?" Lucius smirked, ogling the two of them. Pete laughed. “On it, babe.”

"Your first two drinks are on me mate, thanks for coming!" Ed slapped a tenner in his hand.

Lucius tilted his head appreciatively as Pete went to get their drinks. "Ed, I wanted to thank you again for earlier. Usually I'm the one who helps everyone else in their relationships! You were a bit of a godsend."

"It was nothing. Your cafe is a wonderful expression of your love and I think that's grand."

Ed could feel Stede's eyes on him and was heating up.

Lucius smiled a genuine smile, said another thanks, before joining Pete at a nearby table. It only took Lucius one drink to perform Bad Romance and Ed and Stede didn't speak through the whole thing, awestruck at the dedication to the choreography.

Two more faces appeared. Ed knew them as The Swede and Wee John, which he thought were maybe aliases, until Pete went up and welcomed them as such as well. They took another of the little tables and Ed waved to them. Stede also waved a second later.

Roach came at the same time as Oluwande and Jim, chatting with them. Stede and Ed greeted them again as if they were old friends, and they all burst out into enthusiastic chatter, save for Jim who didn't tend to talk much.

"Roach was our cook until last week, he was the best, before he decided to do teaching full time. Our kitchen has been a bit of a mess without him," Olu explained as Roach chortled modestly at the compliment.

Ed felt himself be grabbed suddenly from the side as Roach pulled him closer to Olu. "This guy is an incredible cook. I don't even know why you came into my cooking class to be honest with a skill set like yours!"

Olu and Jim looked at him closely. "Oh really? Are you looking for a job? We're still needing to fill the position, Roach has proven himself damn difficult to replace and Jim hates the kitchen work." Jim grunted in affirmation.

This was a surprise. "I'd love to, mate. Let me cook you up some of my recipes and you can see for yourself." They all grinned at each other, pleased as punch at this development. Somewhere in the background Pete was singing I Want To Break Free and Ed was sad to miss it, but had to exploit this opportunity.

"Actually," Ed added, "weren't you looking for a manager to take care of the business side of things?" He hoped he could get away with it, technically he knew that from another today.

Olu paused. "Yeah, we are. Doubt you can cook and run the business though mate, those are both full time jobs," he responded.

"No I'd love to just cook, but Stede here has many years of experience in finances and could definitely help you expand your business."

Stede, who had been listening to the back and forth attentively, froze in shock, staring at Ed.

"Really?" Olu queried, looking between the two of them. "I mean, I could offer you interviews at least and we'll see from there. Give me a call tomorrow at the bar and we'll set a time and day."

Ed clapped his hands together. "That's great news, thank you Olu! Now don't think I've forgotten that you two promised us a duet," Ed retorted with levity.

Jim stared daggers upon daggers at him and he raised his hands apologetically "Kidding, Jim. I was kidding! Here, first drinks are on me," he said, shaking Jim's hand and sliding the banknote into their hand in a move he'd practised to look cool.

Jim gave him a bemused look before tugging Olu to the bar as Roach got onstage to shake his hips to the intro of Blame It on the Boogie. Ed sat back down again, closely followed by Stede, torn between looking at Stede and watching Roach's lively dancing.

"Did you just get me a job interview?" Stede asked, perplexed at the past few minutes of conversation. Ed smiled at him tentatively. "I hope you don't mind?"

"Mind? That's very thoughtful of you. They seem like lovely people to work with. Totally different from the Badmintons."

"Well that's not hard, those guys are the downright worst."

"You know them?"

"Know? Yes. Hate? Ohhh yes!" Ed pulled a face and managed to make Stede laugh, which was the best feeling.

Stede got on stage next and Ed was enraptured as always. God, anything that man did drove him crazy. But the way he sang an earnest rendition of What's Up by 4 Non Blondes, his surprised face when Ed started singing along from their table and then his pure emotional joy as their newfound friends bellowed along with him during the chorus... that was everything. That was more than Ed could ever put into words.

As Stede settled back into their table and the Swede began an unexpectedly heart-achingly beautiful rendition of Wicked Game, Ed was helpless to do anything but stare into Stede's breathtaking eyes.

I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.

Stede didn't break the eye contact and something built up within Ed that would become unbearable, his body vibrating with the intensity.

And I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

This day was going to end and Stede would forget him again. The thought made Ed panic, he needed some fresh air, he needed to make sure he wouldn't get sleepy, sleep would take Stede from him.

Ed got up and made a quick exit through the front, making a half-hearted effort at waving to people he passed so they wouldn't worry. The music followed him outside and he reminded himself to breathe. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

The music got louder for a moment, before quietening again.

What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you

"Ed? Ed, are you alright?"

Stede.

Ed realised he had put his face in his hands and lowered them to look at that sweet, worried face. He tried to smile in reassurance. "Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"I just... I don't want this night to end," Ed admitted, quietly, lost in Stede's eyes again.

Stede took his hand. "Come on, let's get you somewhere quiet. I'll just go and say our goodbyes to your friends, wait here, I'll be back in a jiffy."

Ed didn't want to let go of his hand, but nodded as Stede went back inside. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

When Stede re-emerged, he took Ed's hand again right away. Ed smiled at him, thankful for the comfort. "Where we going?"

"To my house, if you don't mind?" Stede answered with a whisper.

"I'd love that," Ed replied softly and squeezed the hand in his.

Ed had never seen Stede's house. Parts of it looked odd, unfitting, but then it had been a shared home. When he got to Stede's part of the house, his "mancave", a word they both cringed at, he felt right at home. This room said "Stede" all over. The knick knacks, the colours, the... wait a second...

"Rhubarb and custard moths?" Ed stated in disbelief as he saw the glass display.

"Dryocampa rubicunda, or the candied melon silk moth. Though I suppose it does resemble a rhubarb and custard sweet also," Stede informed him with a chuckle.

This development was making Ed's mind race, joining his heart which was already racing the whole way here. "You're fucking fascinating, Stede. This whole room is a delight."

Stede blushed. "Say, Ed. About that bet earlier."

Ed became, impossibly, even more alert, and stopped looking around the room to focus on Stede. "Hmm?"

"You said I could ask for anything?"

"Yeah," Ed breathed. His heart beat in his chest full throttle. "Is there anything I can do for you today?"

Stede smiled a coy smile. "I'm sure I can think of something."

Ed stepped in closer. "And what would that be, Stede?"

Carefully Stede raised his hands and settled them on Ed's arms. Ed's breath hitched as Stede gazed at him.

"Kiss me?"

Ed's mouth was on his in an instant, Stede's lips were soft and intoxicating, an eternal need finally being answered as Stede wrapped his arms around Ed's neck, pulling him closer.

The reciprocated enthusiasm was almost too much as Ed kissed Stede, running one hand down his back and one through his hair. Stede honest-to-god whined into Ed's mouth.

"God you're so perfect, you're so beautiful, Stede Bonnet," Ed mumbled before kissing Stede again. The little Oh sound from Stede made him hungry as he tenderly licked into Stede's mouth.

Stede's tongue returned the favour and Ed felt weak in the knees when Stede's hands started running through his hair. As if possessed to worship he started kissing Stede's jaw, his cheek, his neck.

A moan escaped from each of their lips as their hips collided with need, friction revealing to each other how much they were enjoying this. Stede feverishly chanted his name into his ear. It had to be the best sound in the whole world.

Ed guided them to Stede's bed, Stede's private, frivolous "mancave" bed, not separating their bodies for a second as he laid down and pulled Stede on top of him. "Is this okay?" Ed gasped.

"God yes," Stede moaned as their erections rubbed against each other through their clothes. "You're wearing too much, though."

"I was going to say the same to you," Ed chuckled darkly, hungrily, as he latched onto Stede's throat, kissing and sucking as his hands worked Stede's buttons.

Stede rutted against him and made him forget what he was doing, lost in that movement as he sighed with pleasure. They both started impatiently tugging at each other's clothes before quickly getting up, taking off trousers and shirts, laughing a little at their clumsy eagerness, and climbing back onto the bed.

Ed couldn't help staring at Stede and Stede was staring back, reflecting his desire. As soon as their bodies reconnected, Ed's hands and mouth explored every bit of exposed skin. "You are a revelation, I've never met anyone that made me so hard."

Stede flushed and Ed delightfully watched the red hue cover not only his face, but all the way down to his chest. "I feel quite the same," Stede confessed, as if in awe.

Ed kissed him then, his hands clutching that wonderful face, and put every hope and every desire and every ounce of love in his body into that kiss. He was ecstatic when Stede kissed him back with renewed intensity, arching his body into Ed's.

The contact made Ed moan loudly, breaking the kiss. "Stede," he muttered in reverence as he latched onto those lips again and started grinding their hips together in earnest.

Stede's moans were the most delicious thing he'd ever heard and he was insatiable in finding every way that he could keep those sounds coming. He felt Stede tug at his underwear, letting him know that Stede was requesting more and God, Ed wanted that too.

They separated just enough to pull each other's underwear down, lifting hips where needed, and kicking them off onto the ground. "You're a sight for sore eyes, Stede," Ed rambled, breathlessly. "Where have you been all my life?"

Stede kissed him, they faces smashing together in desperate need and moaning wantonly as their dicks brushed each other. "Ed," Stede pleaded into his mouth as Ed let his hand wander down his chest and onto Stede's thigh, his finger rubbing circles next to the place he wanted to touch the most.

Stede huffed at the teasing and glared at Ed, but the only heat behind it was arousal. "Ed."

"Yes, dear?"

"Please, please. If you don't stop teasing me I will smite you," he let out a breathy laugh, an empty threat.

"But I'm already smitten," Ed grinned like a cheshire cat as he took Stede in hand and rubbed his thumb across the head.

Stede bucked into his hand, his retort lost and replaced with a moan. Ed licked his own hand a few times, keeping eye contact with Stede. As he wrapped his slicked hand around Stede and picked up the pace, Stede babbled a half-nonsensical string of praise that made all the remaining blood in Ed's brain completely wander south and he was feeling more aroused than he'd ever been.

"Fuck, Stede, you don't know what you do to me," Ed half-growled.

Stede's hips jerked forward in a mad rhythm as he came with a shout, his cum covering Ed's hand. Stede fell flat on his back, spent, heaving. His chest glistened in sweat and Ed leaned fervently over to lick his nipple. The softening cock in his hand jerked one last time as Ed stroked Stede through his orgasm before being pulled into a passionate kiss.

"You, unbelievable, sexy, ridiculous dream of a man," Stede gushed. Ed kissed him again, a long, languid kiss full of pent-up longing, until his erection rubbed Stede's thigh and he moaned obscenely.

"May I offer my services?" Stede suggested, somehow demure and bold at the same time.

"Fuck, yes please," Ed begged and gasped when Stede took hold of his length.

"What would you like?" Stede rubbed his thumb over the precum as Ed had.

"Anything, everything, I want you," Ed pleaded. Stede pushed him onto his back and climbed on top, kissing Ed sweetly. He kissed Ed's chest and licked a nipple, nibbling it as Ed's moans became dryer, croaking weakly and bucking into Stede's hand.

Stede sucked his other nipple and kissed his way down his chest. "Always wanted to try this," he mumbled before licking the head of Ed's dick.

It took all of Ed's willpower to hold his hips in place. "Stede," he moaned, his eyes losing focus. "Stede, hold down my hips... I don't want to hurt you."

Stede nodded, placing his free hand firmly on Ed's hip bone as he licked across the head again and slowly started stroking Ed simultaneously. Ed's hips bucked but were held in place as he chanted Stede's name.

More and more licks and kisses peppered across his dick had Ed writhing in arousal. Stede had never done this before, but his sheer devotion to Ed's pleasure was almost enough to send him over the edge in itself.

When he quickened his jerking hand and took the tip of Ed in his mouth, Ed's ragged breathing grew erratic "Stede, I'm gonna - "

Stede pulled off with a slow suck, but not slowing his hand movements, and Ed saw stars.

When he came to, he saw Stede watching him as if he was something precious. Ed tackled Stede into a kiss, holding him close like he might melt away. Stede seemed to pick up on the desperate undercurrent and physically reassured him, pulled him closer and closer until Ed didn't know where one body ended and the other began.

They panted as their mouths separated, gasping for air. Stede's kiss-swollen mouth was breathtaking, his flushed face and sparkling eyes were more than Ed's heart could handle.

Stede looked almost incapacitated, so Ed reluctantly extracted himself and pattered to the bathroom for some wipes. He found a packet of wet wipes and returned.

"How'd I get so lucky as to meet you today?" Stede whispered as he looked at Ed standing by the bed.

"I should ask you the same question," Ed chuckled as he climbed onto the bed and pressed a gentle, chaste kiss to Stede's lips. The intimacy of it all filled a hole in his heart and made him tremble.

Tenderly they cleaned each other, Stede nuzzled Ed's face and Ed giggled. Thoroughly exhausted they climbed under the covers. Ed was very grateful Stede was still in the nude, relishing in every brush of skin on skin.

Stede wrapped his arms around Ed and pulled him close to his chest. The softness of it all made a tear spring to Ed's eye. He wasn't ready to let go, but he was the happiest he had ever been.

"I'm so glad I got to spend this day with you. You made me very happy," Ed confessed and kissed Stede's knuckles.

Ed felt a soft kiss on his nape and a quiet "Likewise" ghosted over his ear. Nothing would ever be better than this, except maybe getting to spend the rest of his life with Stede. Falling asleep in Stede's arms was the next best thing.

Glaring sunlight. He was naked. Fuck. He didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to see his flat. Fuck.

As his body slowly returned to consciousness, he noticed something warm on his chest. Hesitantly, ever so slowly, he opened his eyes to see a blond, wavy mop of hair inches from his face and an arm wrapped around his torso.

The tears fall freely, sappy, happy tears running down his cheeks as he hugs the figure on his chest tightly to him and fills his lungs with the air of a brand new day.