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Staring at Damian was becoming a little too difficult nowadays, Anya thinks. Kind of like staring directly at a bright fluorescent lightbulb. Or sitting too close near the TV. If Anya’s gaze lingered for more than a few seconds, she'd start to get…dizzy, and weird. For one, he was at least a foot taller than her, and two, she had started noticing these things about him.
Case in point, Damian had really long eyelashes.
Long and delicately curved, arranged perfectly on his lower eyelids. They made his eyes look all dark and mysterious. Anya was used to seeing the pretty faces of her female classmates who all started wearing mascara, but none of them had eyelashes as long and fluttery as Sy-on boy’s.
His eyes were really pretty too, not just the hazel-green color that somehow had flecks of gold in the right angle, but the way he had this intense gaze whenever he focused on something a little too hard, like a particularly tough math equation, was so mesmerizing, Anya had no choice but to stare and immediately turn away when he glances back, a delicately curved eyebrow raised.
So staring at him made her chest hurt. So she tries to dial it down a little. Maybe stop looking at him at all. Possibly forever. Which was surprisingly easy since he was a bean sprout, so Anya was doing good down her place as a 5’2 foot tall human.
But staring at Damian was inevitable because he was one of her friends now, and friends looked each other in the eye and didn't feel weird feelings towards each other! Clearly, Anya was doing something wrong here!
“Becky, something is definitely wrong with me.”
Ewen snorts, “You only realized that now?”
Becky, her ever supportive best friend of over a decade, sticks out her tongue in defiance, “Excuse you, she was talking to me,” she turns to Anya and pats her back, “It’s alright Anya, even if everything about you is wrong, I’d still be by your side.”
“Gee, thanks Becky.” She slumps down her seat. The two of them, Emile and Ewen included, were waiting for Sy-on boy in their usual spot by the courtyard so they could all plan out their daily review sessions.
“Something wrong, Forger?” Emile asks from where he was sitting, “You and Bossman didn’t have a fight or something right?”
“Huh? Why would we be fighting?” The only thing Anya was fighting was her weird, non-friendly feelings for their friend.
“Well, it's just…” Emile trails off, he looks at Ewen who nods back.
Bossman did say to just drop it but…
Geez, lover’s quarrels get pretty ugly…even if they aren’t lovers.
None of what they were talking thinking made any sense at the moment. Anya sighs, “Come on, just tell me already.”
“You haven’t looked Bossman in the eye lately.” Emile sputters out.
Ewen nods, “Plus, he thinks you’ve been avoiding him.”
A gasp. Could it be? Has Anya finally realized how bad her taste in men is? What a glorious day! But oh no! If they broke up, Anya would be devastated!
She really needed to talk to Becky about this. She glances at her best friend who was nodding in sympathy with tears ushered in her eyes. Okay, maybe 10 years in the future.
“I’m not avoiding him! I-it's just…well—” I’ve been thinking about how pretty his eyelashes are recently and that’s super creepy and I’m literally physically incapable of looking at him because I might melt on the spot, Anya thinks, but doesn’t say.
Ewen huffs, “You know Forger, if you didn’t like him, you should have just rejected him outright instead of stringing him along for 12 years!”
“Yeah! Playing with feelings like that just isn’t cool you know!”
“Huh?!”
Emile stops and actually looks at Ewen, “Wait, didn’t Bossman say he was over it already?”
“Whoa. Seriously?”
“Yeah, says he’s too busy with Imperial scholar business and making plans for the future to think about silly things like romancing a commoner girl or something.”
“Oh! Good for him!”
Anya stares at both of them. “Um, what are you talking about?”
They look at her like she said something stupid, “Damian’s undying love for you, Duh.”
U-undying love? Love? Love?!!.
Sy-on boy…loves her? As in, romantically ? For her personality?! Anya nearly fell to the ground. Was this what it felt like to achieve world peace? She feels like soaring through the sky.
“Well, dead love apparently, you know, since he’s over it by now haha.”
In an instant, all the blossoming feelings of peace and euphoria shattered like ceramic dropped on a 12 foot building.
“You know, Bossman used to worship the ground you walk on.”
Used to…Anya was going to be sick. Or maybe start laughing on the spot because isn’t that just so funny? Anya wanted to scream, but she was pretty good at holding it in.
“Yeah, he used to be madly in love with you back in first grade! I mean, ever since you punched him and stuff, he could never look you directly in the eye.” Relatable, Anya thinks while Ewen sniffs, “We thought it was just because you were an ugly commoner, but the Bossman was actually fighting for his life.”
“H-his life?”
Emile and Ewen were grinning now, lost in the nostalgia of first grade apparently, “Seriously head over heels man, down in the trenches. I can’t believe I didn’t see the signs before.”
“Remember the dodgeball game? He literally jumped in to protect her, damn.”
“And the way he blushed when Anya stood up for him against Old lady tonitrus!” Becky had somehow wormed her way into the conversation while Anya was struggling for air.
“God that was so inspiring, Bossman was so cool.”
“Hey! Give Anya some credit too, she was the one who saved him!”
Emile nods, “Yeah, now that I think about it, they actually kept saving each other all that time huh.”
“So romantic…”
“Eh, now that we’re talking about it, I’m actually kinda bummed that he got over it, you know? It was comedy gold.”
“Yeah, I kinda assumed you’d already get together by now, Forger,” Ewen turns to Anya, “But I guess you can’t really force love, even if bossman is the coolest guy in the universe.”
Emile stares at the sky wistfully, “If it wasn’t meant to be, I hope Bossman finds another rich, non-commoner, an awesome pink haired lady to romance this time.”
That felt like a missile straight to her heart, and maybe her brain got lost as collateral damage.
Becky sighs, “Well, probably someone not as badass. Right, Anya?”
Anya’s life was probably a comedy in progress. But now it’s starting to feel like a sick tragi-comedy, slice of life, shoujo manga in the middle of a semi-hiatus break. She was a mind reader, daughter of a spy and assassin, and now she had a crush on the guy who used to have a crush on her but apparently didn’t anymore.
She replays every single interaction she and Damian had over the decade that they had known each other. She was probably remembering things wrong but the first time she had apologized, Damian had run away screaming…but his face was red, and his hair was super droopy, and he was really adorable when he blushed…
The dodgeball game, when Anya was ready to meet god and accept death by the hands of the monstrous Bill, Damian had jumped in to catch the ball. His hands were still calloused to this day. He looked really cool when he turned to her like the tsundere that he was and lied about it being only for the game. His hair was even billowing in the wind like a sports anime protagonist.
The field trip, the hand holding, the way he was always the first one to notice when she was upset, old maid, losing on purpose, blushing and running away, blushing and turning away, blushing and holding her hand, blushing, blushing, blushing.
He was blushing for six years straight!
Oh my god why hadn’t she noticed the blushing! All the signs were literally right there! (To be fair to herself, Anya was like, 5.)
“I bet future Bosslady would be just as cool as Bossman—”
And then one day, he just stopped blushing at her…
All the feelings she had been trying to stuff back in the recesses of her mind came spewing out. If she didn’t do something, she might actually do something embarrassing, like cry on the spot.
So she did the first thing on her very empty and broken mind had at that very moment.
Which was to unleash her feelings and channel it to rage and frustration instead.
“AGH I HATE YOU SO MUCH, STUPID SY-ON BOY WITH YOUR STUPID LONG EYELASHES, AND STUPID FLUFFY HAIR.”
“—I can’t believe he didn’t tell me he liked me all this time? Since first grade? Really? Why didn’t he say anything? And now he was just gonna drop it like that just when I’m starting to like him—”
Someone pokes her on the shoulder. Anya takes this as an opportunity to breathe and smile to the person behind her, had Becky somehow snuck up on her mid rant? Well whate—
Oh, it was just Sy-on boy.
...
It was Sy-on boy!
Her voice dies immediately, and maybe she should have too.
“ Ah .”
She thinks Sy-on boy might be broken because he hasn’t said a word. But she couldn’t check because he was tall and she was pointedly trying to erase her own existence by not looking into his eyes.
Emile clears his throat.
“So, um, guys, I actually have astronomy club, haha, I’m just gonna—”
“Yeah, I have stuff too! Stuff which means I definitely shouldn’t be here…with you, um, two.” Ewen chokes out, already scooting backward.
Both of them look at Becky expectantly.
Becky stares back, defiant. She crosses her arms and stands her ground.
What if I wanted to watch?!
No, Blackbell.
Yes Blackbell, please save me. Anya begs.
Becky sighs. “Fine, daddy’s expecting me home blah blah, we’re just going to go.” She says, shattering all hopes Anya had of having a normal day.
So it was just her and Damian in that empty courtyard.
She could hear some bushes rustling. Anya gulps.
Anya was a brave girl. There was no way she was going to walk away from this. She faced countless challenges, half of which were life threatening. This was absolutely nothing! She musters up her courage and looks him right in the eye.
Damian was wearing his soccer gear and his hair was slicked back all shiny. But worst of all, his eyes were searching hers.
“Hey! So…I actually have some stuff I need to do too, maybe we should call it a day—”
“Did you mean what you said earlier?”
She freezes, “Haha, whadd'ya mean? I said a lot of stuff Sy-on boy! Becky and I were just talking about Bondman actually, and you know how much I love his, um, new sidekick?”
“I meant the stuff you said about hating me.”
What? “Wha—”
Damian sighs, “Look Anya, If I upset you in any way, please just talk to me directly next time instead of avoiding me for the whole week,” He meets her eyes, “Please.”
Oh my god, Damian was sad. Sad because he thinks he’s ignoring her. Unnaceptable!
“Sy-on, no. I d-don’t hate you. It’s not that.”
“Then—”
“I’m just…really confused okay?” She mutters. This was the truth after all.
“I’m learning some…things about myself, and feeling things I haven’t felt before, and I just wanted some time to process things.”
Damian’s eyes widen, “Are you okay?” He was so cute all upset for her. She wanted to pinch his cheek.
Stupid, considerate, concerned, Sy-on. Anya smiles, “Yep, just personal things actually.”
Damian nods, “I see,” He smiles back and Anya’s chest constricts again, less painfully this time, “But I still don’t get why you were avoiding me the entire week,” His eyes narrow again, “Unless it had something to do with…me?”
“YES, I MEAN, NO, OF COURSE NOT!”
Damian pauses, “You were talking to Emile and Ewen…” Anya gulps, braces for impact.
Only to find Damian Desmond as pale as a sheet of paper. “Shit ,” He hisses, “Don’t tell me they told you about—” my feelings.
His already dead, gone, and buried feelings towards her, Anya thinks.
Anya couldn’t take it anymore, “Yes! Yes they did! And it’s totally fine Damian, I completely understand! I’m not mad or anything, in fact I’m glad that you’re moving on!” Anya lies from the bottom of her heart and the top of her lungs.
“Y-you—” she thinks I’m so creepy for liking her that she’s happy that I’m moving on?!
“In fact! Anya hopes you’ll be able to find someone who loves you!”
Oh god, I’m being shot down, and I haven’t even confessed yet.
“S-someone who wasn’t a commoner girl, someone just as smart, and cool, and who also has long beautiful eyelashes like yours!”
Was she really that desperate to get rid of me that badly—wait, what?
“A-and because you’re my dearest friend, I wish they’d have even longer and prettier eyelashes than yours! And I hope that they'd love and cherish you just as much as I do! That’s how much I like you!”
Silence.
Anya realizes the exact words that came out of her mouth the same second that Damian had placed a hand on her shoulder.
She looks up at him, her gaze inching past his shoulders, to his face, then to his eyes. Then looks back to get a clearer picture.
Damian had really long and pretty eyelashes, but his entire face was pretty too. And his personality, and his stupid dedication to becoming a better man than his superevilboss dad.
She thinks back to the first time they met.
“—Had she fallen for my good looks already?” Was the first thought Anya had read from him. Now they might be her last.
She gulps.
“Y-you think my eyelashes are pretty?”
Um.
“Yeah?”
“And all that other stuff too?”
Anya sighs, she’s had a long day and maybe she has always been the type of person to skip past all the boring stuff and jump straight into action.
“Will you just kiss me already so we can go home?”