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Max sat in the back of the taxi, his leg shaking nervously as he watched the city’s buildings pass by far too slowly out the window. A half hour ago, he had deboarded his plane at Heathrow and turned on his phone to find a text from Helen:
Our baby boy is coming early. On my way to the hospital. Hurry!
He looked down at his phone again. Still no new messages; his requests for an update had gone unanswered. He closed his eyes and threw his head back against the seat, silently cursing himself for leaving town so close to the due date. He traced one eyebrow with the back of his thumb, a nervous gesture he made sometimes to try and calm himself down. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered to himself.
When the taxi finally pulled up in front of the hospital, he didn’t even look at the meter. He handed all the money in his wallet to the driver and leapt out of the cab. The driver had to yell to him to come back and retrieve the suitcase he had left behind. Max raced his way through the familiar hospital and up to the maternity floor. He grabbed the nearest nurse and asked for the room number and then ran through the halls until he saw it: 733. Breathing heavily and looking a little disheveled, he stepped through the open door to find a scene so much calmer than he looked or felt. In front of him was a sleeping baby boy laying contentedly in Luna’s arms, and Helen standing at their bedside staring down at her grandson. Charlie was standing on the other side of the bed, looking adoringly at the scene in front of him.
Luna noticed Max first. “Dad!” she whispered excitedly, careful not to wake the baby. “I’ve got someone here who’d like to meet you.”
Max offered a half smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He remained frozen in the doorway. Helen noticed something was wrong immediately, and went over to meet him. “Max, you look pale,” she whispered so that Luna and Charlie wouldn’t hear her. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, uh, you…you didn’t respond to my text.”
“Of course, I did. I even sent a pict—” Helen looked at her phone and saw her mistake along with three missed messages from Max. “Oh…I forgot to hit send. And then I got preoccupied with that handsome devil over there.” Helen knew that when Max didn’t get an update on Luna, his mind had probably gone to the worst-case scenario. Helen took a step closer to him and reached out to rest a hand on Max’s chest, right over his heart. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry this handsome devil. They’re okay, Max. They’re all okay.” Max took a deep breath and nodded slightly. “Now snap out of it. It’s time to meet your grandson.” Helen took him by the hand and led him to Luna’s bedside.
“Dad, meet Marcus Abernathy,” Luna said, beaming with motherly pride. Max looked down at the baby boy whose black hair peeked out from under the brim of the yellow hat currently warming his head. Despite being two weeks early, his cheeks were chubby; no one would guess by looking at him that he had arrived before his due date. Max felt like his heart was ready to burst as he placed a hand gently on his grandson’s head. “Hey buddy! I’m so happy you’re here.” He looked up for just a moment and caught Helen’s eyes. Her expression mirrored his own; they were both already completely in love and ready to give Marcus anything he wanted.
Max leaned over to kiss Luna on the head. “You did great, Luna. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. How are you feeling?”
“Oh, I’m exhausted and absolutely everything hurts, but I’m pretty in love with this little guy right here.”
“Any complications?” Max inquired.
Luna shot Charlie a look that any married person would recognize. “No. Although we almost didn’t get to the hospital. Charlie was driving well under the speed limit on the way here, and I couldn’t get him to move it along. I thought Marcus was going to follow in Aida’s footsteps and be born in the car.”
Charlie thew his hands in the air in a gesture that was meant to proclaim his innocence and then he ran his hand over Marcus’ head. “Hey, I wasn’t about to risk this precious cargo.” Then Charlie placed his hand on Luna’s leg. “Or this precious cargo. Besides, I’ve delivered babies before.”
“You’ve delivered foals before,” Luna corrected.
“Yeah, well, it’s the same basic idea.”
“Mmmmhmmm.”
Max reached out and slapped Charlie on the back, “I haven’t even said hello to you yet. Congratulations, dad.”
“Thanks, Dr. G.”
“Do you want to hold him?” Luna asked Max.
“Of course, I do. But I think we better let nana go first.”
“Nana has been here for several hours,” Helen said. “And I’ve had some delicious snuggles already. It’s your turn, gramps.”
Max grinned and stretched out his arms to scoop up the baby. The warmth of the newborn against his chest took Max back to when each of his own babies were born and all the hours they’d spent nestled against him just like this. It was the best kind of time machine. Helen took out her phone and snapped a couple of candid shots to go with the dozens of pictures she’d taken before Max had arrived.
“I think I’ll run and try to find some food while you’re both still here,” Charlie said to Max and Helen. “We haven’t eaten anything since breakfast. Lu, you want anything particular?”
“Any protein you can find. And a smoothie,” Luna said.
“I’ll come with you, Charlie,” Helen offered. “I’m sure Max could use some food too after his flight, and it’ll give these three some time together.” Helen winked at Max and put an arm around Charlie, guiding him out the door.
Max swayed in place with Marcus, the muscle memory of how to comfort a newborn having never left him. “Marcus Abernathy,” Max said with reverence. “We are going to have so many adventures.”
“Marcus Max Abernathy,” Luna said.
Max’s eyes widened in astonishment and darted up from the baby to Luna as he processed the news. “You named him after me?” His voice cracked with the overwhelming emotion he felt.
“Only so I can call him Maximus when he misbehaves,” Luna teased.
“Ha! Well, whatever the reason, I’m so honored, Luna-bug. Thank you.”
“You haven’t called me that in a while.”
“Yeah well, I think this is an important time to remind you that even though you’re someone’s mother now, you’re still my little girl.” The corners of Luna’s mouth tugged upward, and she gave Max a slight nod. “You know your mum and I are here for whatever you need, right? We’re not going to get in the way or anything, but newborns are exhausting. And if you and Charlie need a nap, or a night off, or anything, you just call me, okay? I’ll be happy to hang with little Max here.”
Luna shook her head. “That’s his middle name.”
Max addressed the baby directly. “We’ll see about that, won’t we, little Max?”
Luna rolled her eyes—a reflex she perfected long ago when it came to her father—but there was no heat behind the gesture. She sat quietly for a moment taking in the scene of her father with her son. “I don’t think I ever fully appreciated it until right now.”
“Appreciated what?” Max asked.
“How alone you were when I was born. How overwhelmed you must have felt. I’m overwhelmed right now, and I have Charlie and you and mum. My siblings. The Abernathys. I just can’t imagine how you did it, dad.” Her voice was soft and devoid of all its usual humor.
Max looked down at Luna sitting up in her hospital bed and she suddenly seemed five-years-old to him again—sitting in her bed, waiting for a story and a lullaby. He leaned down and kissed her forehead in the same way he used to when he tucked her in at night. “I had the best reason in the world to keep going. You could do it alone too if you had to, Luna. But I am so so glad that you don’t have to.”
“I don’t have to because you gave me everything.” They shared a quiet smile before Marcus stirred and made quiet gurgles. Luna reached out and Max placed the baby back in her arms. “And I guess I wouldn’t mind if your namesake here grew up to be just like you.” Max felt like every hard thing he had ever lived through in his life had been worth it just to have arrived at this moment. Luna felt the tears that threatened to leave her eyes and saw the same emotion in her father. She felt the need—as she always did—to deflect this much genuine emotion with humor. “Well, hopefully he’ll be more like mum than like you. But a little like you would be okay too.”
“He is going to be his own amazing person, Luna. Just like you are.”
A moment later, Helen and Charlie came back with sandwiches and smoothies for everyone and the foursome took turns eating and holding Marcus while making some quiet conversation.
“Do you need us to swing by your place and do anything?” Helen asked. “What’s happening with all the animals?”
“Miles is on it.” Charlie replied. “He jumped at the chance for a quiet place to study for his exams in exchange for watching over the zoo.”
“He jumped at the chance to eat all of our food in exchange for watching over the zoo,” Luna said.
“Have you texted Aida?” Max asked.
“Yeah,” Luna said. “We have a FaceTime date with A tomorrow. I had to talk her out of flying home from Argentina early. Assured her that Marcus would be just as excited to meet his auntie in a couple of weeks.”
Charlie shook his head. “I don’t buy it. If A makes it longer than two days without getting on a plane to be at your side, Lu, I’ll never bring another animal home ever again.”
“Well, it’ll be wonderful to see our little traveler, whenever she gets here,” Helen sighed. “Her room is all ready for her.”
“Yep, now we just have to figure out how to keep her from leaving it ever again,” Max added, and Helen rolled her eyes lovingly at his desperation to keep their kids nearby. “Have your parents been here yet?” Max asked Charlie.
“No, they’re coming up first thing tomorrow. Reed too.”
Max smirked. “So, little Max is named after me and I met him first. Good luck, grandpa Jack. I’m clearly going to be the favorite.”
“We haven’t signed the birth certificate yet,” Luna warned. “The name can be changed.”
“Do it!” Helen said. “Otherwise, he’s going to be insufferable.” Max put his hand over his heart, pretending to be wounded.
They finished their simple dinner and Luna let out a big yawn. Helen took that at as their cue to leave. “Alright, munchkin,” Helen said, moving to Luna’s bedside and taking her daughter’s hand. “We’re going to let you get some rest. But I’ll be over on Tuesday after they release you, and I’ll stay with you for a couple days while you all get settled. If you still want that.”
“We still want that,” Charlie blurted out before Luna could say anything.
“We still want that,” Luna echoed, giving her mum’s hand a squeeze. “Thank you.”
Helen used her free hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Luna’s ear. “Of course, baby.”
Max walked over and gave Charlie a bear hug, and he felt the young man’s nerves as Charlie held onto Max a little bit longer than expected. “You’re going to be great,” Max whispered in his son-in-law’s ear. “You’ve got this.” Charlie took a step back and when Max caught his eye, he saw both the little boy who had played at his house and the man he’d grown into, all wrapped in one. Charlie responded with a simple nod, trying to project confidence that he didn’t quite feel. Max recognized the gesture well.
After everyone said their goodbyes, Helen and Max started to leave, but turned back in the doorway for a moment to see Luna with her arms around Marcus, and Charlie perched on the side of the bed with his arms around both of them. It was a familiar tableau of a new family, one that Helen and Max had formed themselves once upon a time. They watched as Charlie whispered something in Luna’s ear and she let out an abrupt, unguarded laugh that they recognized well; it was the laugh that only Charlie ever evoked from Luna. Helen took Max’s hand in hers and gave it a gentle tug. “Time to go,” she whispered.
—
Max and Helen were unusually quiet on the drive home from the hospital and as they went about getting ready for bed. They were both tired and taking some time to catch up to their new reality. When Helen joined Max under the covers, she snuggled close to him and immediately stuck her cold feet between his calves to warm them. Max winced just slightly. Helen had been doing this exact thing every night for twenty-five years, and yet he was still never quite ready for the shock her frozen toes sent through his system. Max rolled to his side so that he was facing Helen, their noses just two inches apart on their pillows.
“Hey,” Max said.
“Hey,” Helen giggled back.
“Big day.”
“Very big day.”
“Luna’s gonna be such a good mum,” Max said.
“Of course she is. She practically raised her siblings.” They shared a knowing smile.
“Speaking of her siblings, do you think Aida will stay for awhile when she gets back?”
“A couple weeks probably. She said her Spanish has gotten as good as her Farsi, but she really wants to practice her German next.”
“How about I learn German and she can practice with me here instead?”
Helen snickered. “That sounds like exactly the experience she is looking for.”
“She’s always on the move. She is wild like her mother was.”
“She isn’t wild, Max; she’s free. She isn’t running from anything; she’s chasing her curiosity. I hope she always does. She’s everything I always wished I’d grow up to be.”
Max smiled at that thought. “Well, at least Miles will be home in a few months after he graduates.”
Helen bit her lip sheepishly. “Yeah, about that…he just signed a lease on a flat with two of his friends.”
“What? Why didn’t he tell me?”
“Probably because he was excited and didn’t want to deal with that mopey face you’re making right now.”
“But our place is nicer and has better food. Why doesn’t he want to live here?"
“Hmmm, I don’t know Max. Why wouldn’t a 22-year-old want to come home and live with his parents? Did you want to move back home at 22?”
“No, but my parents were awful. We are a lot better than my parents and we have a very different relationship with our kids.”
“Of course we do, Max. And they still need us and want us around. Just look at Luna. But this is still a normal part of growing up.”
“I guess,” he sulked.
She poked him in the center of his chest and taunted him. “What, am I not enough for you?”
He immediately rolled on top of her, pinned her down, and proceeded to tickle her neck with his beard until she was squirming and giggling and begging for mercy. When he finally stopped, he looked down at her—her face glowing in the moonlight and her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. “You are more than enough for me, Helen.” Max leaned down and kissed her, trying to convey with it everything that he felt for her. He wanted to take it further, but he was absolutely exhausted. He made a mental note to wake Helen up extra early and finish this in the morning. He pulled back and nuzzled her nose with his, and then moved them both so that they were back on their sides facing one another.
“Can you believe we are grandparents, Max? We’re getting old.”
“You look exactly like you did the day I met you,” he answered sincerely.
“Mmmhmmm, sure I do.”
“Well, I like getting old.”
“You like getting old?”
“Well, I like that I lived long enough to get old. That didn’t always look like it was going to be the case.” Max reached up to touch his throat in the same way he always did when he thought about his cancer, but Helen’s hand got there first. She traced the spot and felt Max swallow underneath her fingertips. “And I like that I get to grow old with you,” he added.
When they first got together, they had spent so many hours learning each other’s bodies—from the location of every freckle and birthmark, to how each spot responded to touch. Their bodies had changed so much in the 25 years since, bearing the marks of the life they had lived together. Now, they often laid in bed just like this—talking about anything, everything, nothing at all—and unconsciously tracing and caressing some mark that told the story of that life together. The stretch mark Helen had from her pregnancy with Miles. The scar on Max’s shin from where he ran into a picnic table chasing Aida and had to get stitches. The lines on both their faces that came from laughing far more than they’d once ever imagined possible.
Her fingers stayed pressed against his throat and he reached over to trace her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. Then he pressed their foreheads together. “I want to be right here with you, exactly where we are in this moment. But I’d also like to go back to the beginning and live our whole life together all over again. I wouldn’t change a thing, Helen.”
She smiled. Max had only made her feel more seen and safe and loved as the years went by. She kissed his thumb and whispered, “I wouldn’t either, Max. Not a thing.”
He inched down in the bed and kissed Helen in the space between her breasts, and Helen rolled onto her back knowing exactly what Max was signaling to her. He nestled his head against her chest and she ran her fingers through his hair in a hypnotic pattern. And they both fell asleep in the only place that had ever felt like home.